THE BEE WEEKLY: Saving Abuela and Deliverance from Evil
On this episode of The Bee Weekly, Kyle and Ethan are joined by Andrew Lowen to talk about his new board game set in the battle between angels and demons, Deliverance. They also talk about noble efforts to help AOC's Abuela and The Babylon Bee going up against The New York Times. Afterwards Andrew shares his creative process for creating Deliverance and how this game is unlike most Christian games in that it is not terrible. Intro Friend of the Bee Andrew Lowen joins Kyle and Ethan. Andrew has a new tactical combat adventure game about angels, demons, and the saints caught in between called Deliverance! You can back it on Kickstarter starting June 8, 2021! Upcoming Interview Next interview will be with former LAPD detective Greg Kading, known for his work on the Tupac and Biggie murder cases...Really good police story only in the subscriber poriton. Comments from Subscribers and YouTube Birdman and Axl Dave get featured today Weird News Italian Artist Sells Invisible Sculpture That Only Exists In His Mind For $18,000 Us Special Forces Accidentally Stormed A Cooking Oil Factory In Bulgaria During A Live Training Exercise Us Coast Guard Rescues 3 Adults And 2 Dogs Floating On Giant Inflatable Pink Flamingo Near Gulf Of Alaska Matt Walsh Started A Gofundme To Fix Aoc's Grandma's House And It Raised Over $100,000 In A Matter Of Hours Jeff Bezos Is Going To Space On One Of His Company's Rocket Ships This Summer 'Among Us'-Shaped Mcnugget Sells For Nearly $100,000 South African Woman Gives Birth To Decuplets Ontario Police Officer Rescues Skunk From Mcflurry Cup Las Vegas Woman Crushes 3 Watermelons In 7 1/2 Seconds For World Record Segment 1 Bee beef with the NYT naming us as an example of far-right misinformation sites that use "satire" claims to protect their presence on Facebook. Segment 2 Andrew Lowen on Christians making stuff like his new board game Deliverance! You can back his kickstarter and become a supporter. Andrew talks about Christian board games, theology behind the game, and behind the scenes of creating a board game. Ethan struggles to keep up with Kyle and Andrew as they dive in deep into the nerdom of board games. Hate Mail Pamela says we are being inappropriate Subscriber Portion Andrew Lowen's New Game Deliverance Kyle and Ethan experience the game with Andrew. Ethan remains confused during the whole game and Kyle beats up some demons
Hey guys, we want you to become a Babylon B subscriber to help support us in our fight against censorship and our new legal action we're taking against the New York Times.
More like the New York Slimes.
Oh, man.
That's defamation.
Hey, but you know, there's also benefits to being a Babylon B subscriber.
There are.
Not just helping us out.
You get ad-free browsing.
Ah.
Who likes ads?
I do.
Oh, except for our marketing.
This ad is a great ad.
Oh, yeah.
He does marketing, so he likes it.
Yeah, he likes ads.
Weirdo.
I read the ads on Facebook.
Yeah, there you go.
You get a 20% discount in our store, and you get free for a limited time the Babylon B Sacred Texts.
You get down the Babylon B.
It's upside down.
And it is beautiful.
It is glorious.
You get access to full-length podcasts, comments, forums, premium articles, extended versions of our videos, and bloopers.
They're just all kinds of fun.
Behind the scenes.
One of those shows that buys all the Babylon B things.
My life is happier because it's much happier.
But you're a real subscriber, so you can.
I saw him in the comments yesterday.
Okay.
Arguing with people.
Thanks.
Yep.
Did you ever get FERT?
Yeah, you get to see all the sausage outtakes.
No.
And what the heck is the deal with FERT?
The D?
Someone tried to get FERT once and made a typo and then it became a thing.
It's still an exact subscriber, BabylonB.com slash plans.
Oh, hey, there's a guy with it.
Two against one.
Oh, yeah.
Who's this?
This is Andrew Lowen.
Hey.
Andrew Lowen.
That's a friend of mine, Christian board game developer.
And I'm sorry, board game designer who happens to be.
Christian.
No, I make Christian games.
They're just good games.
Uphill battle.
Uphill battle in my hand for that.
So he's going to be showing off his new game deliverance.
We're going to talk about that a little bit later in the episode.
And he's going to play with his toys here while we talk about the new games.
I just look at them.
Don't let anybody touch them.
Did you paint these or did someone paint them?
Move your hand away.
Oh, sorry.
No, no.
I actually a professional painted them.
Believe it or not, I don't know if I should say how much money each one of these things cost because people are going to be like, this guy's a super nerd.
Yeah, it was $120 a piece to get this painted.
Goodness.
There are lines that are so thin.
It's amazing.
There are lines that are so thin that it's like, it must have been like one strand of hair from a Norwegian mare that, you know, is like pure white or whatever.
It's like a $1,000 brush that gets the lines so thin.
Yeah.
That reminds me of when creating Axe Cop, there was a brief moment where we had toys.
And me and so Malachi, my little brother, who's probably about six or seven at this point, we went to the toy company Mezco Toys in New York and they showed us the prototypes.
And apparently these prototypes cost like thousands of dollars each to be made.
Like they're insane.
And so they're on the table and Malachi being the child cannot stop himself.
So he immediately grabs them and starts having them knock each other over and Axe Cops chopping everybody's head off and Mez, the guy who owns the company, this is his money.
He's sitting there just the look in his eyes of like horror.
He's doing this.
The amount of money that these things cost.
Actually, nowadays there are printing companies that kind of are US-based that specialize in board games and whatnot that you can get like a short run made.
But, you know, a lot of these things had to be paper-mâchéed and made them, you know, like one, there's one version and this doll and this thing and whatever.
And it all costs boatloads of money.
It's just time and things we don't have.
Crazy.
Well, we're going to talk about the board game design process.
This Christian art, Christian Games, a little later in the episode.
We're also going to talk about our legal stuff we've got going on with the New York Times.
Angels and Demons.
Angels and Demons, which is what this game is about.
And actually, this Tuesday, we've got an interview with Greg Kating, who's a former LAPD detective.
So we want you guys to tune in for that as well.
That was a fun interview.
He solved the Tupac and Biggie murder case.
Yeah.
So we had him here.
He just came in.
It was like.
But he's like one of these guys that's on all these docs.
He'll be like, oh, that guy.
He's a cop on all these documents.
You're watching True Crime, and you're like, oh, that guy.
He pops up on all the true crimes.
Now he's on the B podcast, big time.
Yeah, it's awesome.
Hey, we got some subscriber comments this week from our last podcast.
Birdman says, Trevor is wearing a Hawaiian shirt.
Boogaloo members also wear Hawaiian shirts.
This dog whistle does not go unnoticed, and I am triggered.
I understand none of that.
What are Boogaloo?
What is Boogaloo?
What is Boot?
I thought Boogaloo was like, you're going to overthrow the government or something.
That's racist, right?
Is that racist?
Not liking the government is very racist.
My understanding.
Is Boogaloo racist?
Boogaloo.
Now it is.
Was it always, or is that new?
We've talked about this.
Boogaloo skunks.
We talked about boogaloo skunks.
They called us boogaloo skunks.
I think so.
Someone wrote in and said we're Boogaloo skunk.
Which would be such a good band name.
The Boogaloo skunks.
Especially with the banjo.
Yeah.
Okay, Birdman.
I didn't even notice that Trevor was wearing a Hawaiian shirt, but I can't.
I didn't either.
I guess, yeah.
All right.
Just blind.
I'm colorblind.
YouTube comment of the week on our conservative comedy writers versus liberal comedy writers, which, just to expand, I earlier said you get to see all the sausage outtakes because in that sketch, I had these giant sausages.
And almost all was unusable because it just looked wrong.
We might have to edit the thumbnail because in the thumbnail, you're standing there holding these sausages in a weird way.
We're like, we can't do it.
If you look at the Photoshop, my fist is coming out of my chest unnaturally because I had to edit it real quick.
He has a fist growing out of his chest.
But we post the bloopers for subscribers, so you get to see all me eating these sausages in a cowboy hat.
So this comment.
As somebody who's seen this video, how many sausages did you eat?
Or ruin in the making of that?
He's like, oh, we need to do another take.
Those weren't as good as when we did the Lincoln pork segment.
We got premium sausages.
Those were like Walmart sausages.
How was the kale?
I think I actually spat those out.
The kale was just lettuce.
But yeah, it's fun spitting it out, but not fun picking it up.
Okay, this YouTube comment from Axel Dave.
To be fair, it's incredibly difficult to write jokes about the left when they just keep turning satire into reality.
This is very true.
So true.
That's our plight.
Am I going to piss people off by being on this podcast?
Probably.
Are you scared?
We're going to get you canceled.
Well, you can't.
We have to say right now, you can't cancel the episode after it's committed, by the way.
Yeah, you're good.
From what I heard, I get like two days to pray before my execution when it launches.
I guess that's cool.
Raise as much money on your control.
You can just disavow what we say periodically throughout the show.
Yeah, if you need to like totally just when this comes out, I mean, there's a big controversy, you can just be like, I don't, I didn't know who these guys were.
Yeah.
Like, I just came and like, definitely reserve that.
Okay.
You just, every few like 10 minutes, go, I disavow.
Yeah.
I disavow.
Yeah.
Can you look at the camera right now?
I disavow.
There.
Here you go.
All right.
Subscriber.
Yeah.
Let's do some weird news.
This news is weird.
Italian artist sells invisible sculpture that only exists in his mind, and he sold it for $18,000.
Who's dumber?
Well, the buyer is clearly.
The buyer's dumber.
The dumbest.
The seller is very smart.
Incredibly.
Maybe the buyer wanted something else from the guy.
Is this just like money laundering?
Is this like uh is just this even dumber than NFTs?
Like, what is this?
It seems dumber than NFTs to me.
And at least to some pretty dumb.
Yeah.
He sold a piece entitled Io Sono, which means I am, to an unidentified buyer.
He said the vacuum is nothing more than a space full of energy.
And even if we empty it and there is nothing left, according to the Heisenberg uncertainty principle, that nothing has a weight.
Therefore, it has energy that is condensed and transformed into particles into us.
You don't see it, but it exists.
It is made of air and spirit.
That's his description of his sculpture.
This guy could be a cult leader.
The guy's like, sold.
So an auction, though.
So people are like, the guy's like, 18,000.
I don't know.
5,000, 5,000, 5,000, 5,000.
And he just kept going.
Particles dancing in the revolution.
Man, man.
It feels like your power level would go up if you walked too close and accidentally breathed it in.
This void of energy space or whatever he's talking about.
When the guy comes to collect the sculpture, he's like, where is it right now?
Oh, you're not handing him the right one.
It's over there.
Watch me lift it with my mind.
Isn't there a parable about this?
Is Emperor Has No Clothes?
Yeah, there was a Pinky in the Brain episode about this.
Was there?
Where they have they and Pinky.
Well, I was talking about Emperor has no clothes.
But then it reminded me of Pinky in the Brain has an episode where they're doing like an infomercial and they get everybody to watch it and they unveil it and it's nothing.
And everyone's all excited about it.
And I think they still like it because it's like they've been all hyped up about it.
We live in a cartoon world.
We live in cartoon land.
Congruency.
It's a powerful, powerful emotion.
U.S. Special Forces accidentally stormed a cooking oil factory in Bulgaria during a live training exercise.
So apparently they were doing these drills in Bulgaria on behalf of NATO and the mission was to seize and secure the Cheshnigirovigo decommissioned airfield.
But it turns out there's a cooking oil factory right next door to the airfield where all these guys are making cooking oil in there.
And all of a sudden these soldiers just charge in there with their guns.
They were probably enriching cooking oil at 20% though.
Or whatever.
I don't know.
Cooking oil references.
I don't know how it works.
Are they extracting it from olives?
Or saff.
I don't even know what saffron is.
I know basically as little about cooking oil as anything on the plane.
I do know that different types of cooking oil can be heated to different degrees.
Okay.
Are you a cooker?
I cook.
Cook terribly.
Okay.
I cook about as well as Ethan Flipsburgers.
Sorry.
Sounds acting.
Hey, it was that.
Yeah, it's just acting.
Well, that's me in real life, though.
I guess.
They say in the video, you can see a worker just sit down and watch him.
Just casually watch him.
So he gets what's going on.
Or he's just like, oh, this is interesting.
He just sits down and he watches these soldiers walk through.
But I can't find that part of the video.
So I got what's fearful.
Nobody is injured.
Oh, yeah.
One employee can be seen casually sitting down.
Yeah, do they like?
Yeah, I don't know.
I have questions, but.
Why was a chair there?
Why was a chair in that spot?
Maybe while it cooks, you got to sit there and wait.
It's like right in the middle of the walking area.
It's like sounds like a slippery place.
I wonder if they came running in and they didn't have their non-slip shoes on, which are probably standard at a cooking oil factory.
They just slid in one door and out the other.
And everybody's just like, going back to work.
It's a good thing they didn't raid the marble factory.
Or the banana peel factory.
When they charged in, the music started playing.
It was like, I don't know.
Story three.
All right.
U.S. Coast Guard rescues three adults and two dogs floating on giant inflatable pink flamingo near the Gulf of Alaska.
Wow.
Yeah.
On Saturday, sounds like that's not where you'd want to be stranded.
Like the lap of Alaska.
Not all heroes wear capes.
Yeah.
On Saturday, a Kodiak-based U.S. Coast Guard helicopter rescued three adults and two small dogs, which had been recreating in the ocean on a giant inflatable pink flamingo in Alaska.
Were they recreating on the flamingo, or did that become their survival of their life raft?
I wonder if they brought the flamingo or found the flamingo.
It might tell us later in these words.
An inflatable flamingo was swept across Monashka Bay by winds and ran around on offshore rocks.
It ran aground.
I can't read.
Right.
Yeah.
Yeah, there's nothing in here about where the flamingo came from.
They were recreating on a flamingo.
So it sounds like there's a bay.
In Alaska?
Yeah, it sounds like there's a bay and people will go out and play on it.
With the watermelon grow.
So they were just out there by the coat, and then it just went and swept them out to sea on this flamingo.
They wanted to go back to their home.
It was three adults.
Yeah.
Charlie, Joanne, let's get on that flamingo.
Bring the two dogs.
Yep.
Wind.
This is a good idea.
The Coast Guard determined the safest way to rescue the stranded crew of the flamingo and their dogs would be with a helicopter.
So an MH60 Jayhawk was dispatched to conduct the rescue and they spent a lot of taxpayers.
A lot of money.
A lot of money then.
I like it.
This is the crew of the flamingo crew, right?
Who was the captain?
Yeah.
Probably one of the dogs, which is why they got into trouble.
Will there be a movie of this starring Tom Hanks?
Probably.
Captain Flamingo.
He'll star as the flamingo.
I am the captain now.
I am the captain.
Everybody hold on tight.
So Matt Walsh started to GoFundMe to fix AOC Z Abuela's house.
And it raised over $100,000 in a matter of hours, but then it was shut down because someone close to the family said they would not accept the funds.
Sad.
Yeah.
Why would you not accept?
Yeah.
Sorry.
El Ciento.
See.
She would understand.
So, okay, so I didn't totally follow the story, but I guess AOC posted a tweet.
She said, just over a week ago, my Abuela fell ill.
I went to Puerto Rico to see her my first time in a year because of COVID.
This is her home.
Hurricane Maria relief hasn't arrived.
Trump blocked relief money for PR.
People are being forced to flee ancestral homes and developers are taking them.
So I think the question was, why aren't you helping your grandma out?
That's the main question.
Why do you drive a Tesla?
Yeah.
Don't you have super expensive clothes and really nice stuff?
And a Tesla.
And a Tesla?
Yeah.
Oh, and that's why Matt Walsh, you said he put it a Tesla payment.
Yeah.
$4.99.
$4.99.
I wasn't, man.
That's all it is.
That's not too bad.
You could do a Tesla?
$4.99.
Professional internet troll.
I would say that is probably one of the most impressive trollings that I've ever seen in my entire life.
It's pretty brilliant because it's like, how can you complain about it?
We're giving you a ton of money as part of.
I love kindness trolling.
I love that was with Target Tori, I think her name was.
The guy went off on her by the toothbrush or whatever, and they just put together a campaign to buy her a vacation.
Yeah, and that's awesome.
That was the troll.
That was awesome.
So this thing quickly got $100,000.
And it's according to GoFundMe.
Someone in AOC Abuela's family declined the money.
Someone.
But it was never revealed who or what.
We're going to need to go down there and find a Buela.
I think fund us.
Fund the Babylon Bee's mission to find Obuela.
Yeah.
Redirect the funds.
Redirect the funds.
Hashtag find Abuela.
Where's Abuela?
We do a whole documentary.
This could be a whole documentary of going to find a built-in.
Finding Abuela.
That's a great name for a documentary.
Or what's the Spanish word for finding?
Busc.
Buscar?
No.
Abanos.
A la abuela.
Buscar.
Spanish.
Buscar means search.
Hey, I was close.
Buscar.
To find in Spanish is encontrar.
In contraring.
Abuela.
Our comments are going to be full of Spanish.
I think it's actually a non-stop.
In controndo.
We'll find.
Oh, we'll find.
We will find a built.
I could be wrong.
But they don't know me as well as they know you, so you'll get the fire and flames.
Is it my turn?
Jeff Bezos is going to space on one of his company's rocket ships this summer.
So Jeff Bezos announced Monday that he and his brother Mark would be among those flying on the first passenger flight of his space company, Blue Origin.
And word is that Elon Musk is excited because for the period that he's in space, Elon Musk will be the richest man on Earth again.
Do they keep like jockeying for position?
I don't know.
I was just ripping off our own article.
I know, but the richest man on earth, like because there was a big deal when Elon became the richest man on earth, and then I heard, oh, he's not anymore.
So they must be like neck and neck.
Neck and neck.
Yeah, like the where they're racing and their noses keep going past the point.
You know, I feel like there's this James Bond joke that everyone keeps telling because Jeff Bezos is building an evil lair and now he's going to space.
But the only thing, and he has no hair now.
It's like his corona cut.
You know, he just looks more and more like a Bond villain.
But I actually think that he looks more like Dr. Evil from Austin Powers.
Totally does.
And what I'm concerned with is that his rocket ship is going to look like a giant wiener.
It's going to show up on everyone.
Is it out there?
Have we seen it?
Is it built yet?
I'm going to look.
Blue Origin New.
I mean, it would just make sense if it was, though.
You guys know that.
It kind of does.
Well, most rockets do, right?
But like very much like.
Rockets are very phallic.
Have you seen this before?
No.
This is an Austin Powers.
Okay, yeah, that's hyper.
And they didn't even try not to.
Like, this is an Austin Powers premise.
Austin Powers.
Did you know that you didn't know that that shaped like that?
No, but you just, the evidence was.
It's like I had that joke ready.
The good drums were there.
Feminists.
Sometimes I feel like they're right about a lot of this stuff.
So you can join Bezos on the space flight or one of his space flights.
The bidding to get on is at $2.8 million.
Okay.
With 6,000 people participating in the auction.
Matt Walsh should start up a GoFundMe.
GoFundMe to send a boiler to send it to her up there.
Go Buila.
Get her off this godforsaken planet.
Jeff Bezos is a character.
This guy went from relatively a happy life to divorced, being the richest man in the absolute world and going to space.
If he dies in space by getting sucked in through like a tiny hole in the rocket in a meteor storm, that is the most amazing end to someone's life.
That would be the peehole.
Yeah, that's how I say that little hole.
Oh, yeah, I couldn't stop.
Like Alien 4, the end of that terrible movie.
Wait, I don't even remember how Alien 4.
That was like a giant alien.
Alien Resurrection?
Yeah.
And it screamed.
So this giant baby alien got sucked through like this tiny little hole, and he was screaming even though he had no skin or whatever.
He was just bones and the bones were getting sucked through, but like his skull that was there was like still screaming all the way until like the very end.
It's like, oh, the voice box is.
I wiped that movie from my memory.
It was so awful.
I do the total recall death, you know, you know, just expanding.
All I remember is that Ripley makes that basketball shot over in Alien Resurrection.
It's awesome.
Whose turn is it?
Is it your turn?
Yeah.
Big shot.
Okay.
Whose turn is it?
Among Us shaped McNugget sells for nearly $100,000.
Oh my goodness.
You guys fill me in what Among Us is?
It's a video game where you have like a traitor, like one guy's a traitor, multi-couple of people are traitors, and they run around the traitures.
Tea?
Yeah.
And everyone's a sus.
Everyone's sus.
Yeah.
That's where that phrase sus comes from.
Like sus gendered?
No, like suspicious.
So you all go around the ship and you do stuff and then the trader's trying to stab people in the back.
And they look like McNuggets?
They look like that nugget.
They look like, yeah.
But that nugget looks a lot like a normal McNugget.
It just has some nubs, right?
Could you imagine?
This is what they look like.
Okay.
You guys have a resemblance, although it's not like uncanny or anything.
But it sold for almost $100,000.
Yeah.
I have eaten.
Okay, who's stupider?
This or the invisible sculpture?
How much money have I eaten?
Well, this guy's stupider by a factor of $88,000.
Wait, $78,000.
The McNugget probably will last longer.
It has a longer shelf life than an invisible sculpture.
It is, you do actually get something at least.
You paid a lot more for the something.
It's true.
I'm surprised that eBay let somebody sell food.
Well, usually in these kinds of weird news stories, it ends up getting canceled.
So I'm curious if it actually went through or not.
No, yeah.
So, all right.
So, a McDonald's chicken nugget that bears a resemblance to the player characters in popular video game Among Us, sold on eBay.
It's sold on eBay for just short of $100,000.
The McNugget listed on eBay, user Palizna, started at only 99 cents, but after 184 bids, this item sold for $99,997.
I'm curious if the person actually pays.
We'll see.
Now, this could have been like two people that just got in a bidding war, and they're like, no, I need this.
I must have the nuggets.
It's probably Bezos and Musk.
It's like, that's as much money as we make in a minute.
Let's give the world a joke.
On the upside, I want it.
On the downside, I'm now not the richest guy in the world.
That much.
South African woman gives birth to decouplets.
Decouplets.
Decouplets.
How many couplets is decouplets?
Decouplets.
There's 10 babies.
How does a woman have 10 babies inside of her and live?
I don't know.
I don't think they're showing, I think.
Two.
One is bad, right?
I mean, what that did to my wife having one baby in her, I cannot imagine timing that by 10.
Times that by 10.
Multiplying.
Multiplying that by 10.
And her not exploding like a freaking fruit gusher.
Like a mess.
You just figure it out.
You've got to figure it out.
You just figure it out.
I will never eat gushers again.
Like a spaghetti sauce water balloon.
Spaghetti sauce.
I'm not trying to make everybody quiet here.
So I can't think of anything more clever to say than what you just said.
That's my problem.
So she was expecting eight babies and she's giving birth.
Yeah, at first she's like, oh man, eight, which is already crazy.
So yeah, and then they found out because the ultrasound, like, oh, you got eight in there, but it turns out there are two hiding.
Well, it says first they thought she had six.
Oh, it just kept going.
And they discover their scans had missed two.
Sextuplets is six, right?
It says they thought she had six.
And then they later discovered their scants had missed two.
And then it was a shock when they were doing a cesarean section.
They found two more.
And her name.
How do they know they got them all?
Are there more in this?
Her name is Sithole.
That may not be like the way to pronounce it.
Sithole.
Sitholy?
But it's Sithole.
I'd like to see you read that whole line.
Which line?
The one right above.
Above what?
It's the one that looks like a tongue twister.
It's the second.
Oh, with all the names.
Oh, these are all their names.
Deboho Tisotetsi, say it confidently.
Toboho Techetsi of Tibetan Township, Erkalada, said his wife, Gasiyama, Tharmara sithole.
Sithole.
That was easiest.
Gave birth to decouplets at a Pretoria hospital.
That's a sitho.
I think we got about 40% of that right.
What is a sithole?
Is this getting flowery?
Is it a thing that you sit on, or is it a part of your body?
That's what I want to know.
That sithole to me sounds like a part of your body.
Or is that what Trump says?
Like that place is a real sithole.
This sounds like how they keep changing by all that you need to be more gender-inclusive and stuff.
Like, that's your front hole.
That's your sit hole.
Some words don't translate to English very well.
Okay.
Oh, my gosh.
10 babies.
Congratulations.
And she survived, apparently, and all the babies survived.
It seems to be.
Because that seems to be.
It says it's a Guinness World Record.
I will accept that as a legit legitimate world record.
I mean, it's not like she didn't.
You couldn't do that right now.
Well, I mean, she did something, but it's not like.
And yet she wasn't using fertility treatments.
Usually that's like the story, right?
The OctoMom, I think.
Oh, were they using fertility drugs or whatever?
But she wasn't.
This just happened.
Oh, okay.
She wasn't.
Does those Guinness world record have to be those people?
Don't they have to be present to win the judges?
Yeah, that's what they're saying.
They would be, but they didn't do all the official stuff.
Maybe for stuff that's like physical, like tallest man, they don't have to be, you know, like, or they can come by and visit and be like, oh, yeah, you got 10 babies.
Yep.
Let me.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Ontario police officer rescues skunk from McFlurry Cup.
So Boogaloo Skunk, possibly.
That's another Boogaloo.
The Philo Regional Police shared a video of an officer coming to the rescue of a skunk spotted running in a road with a McFlurry cup stuck over its head.
I usually don't do these stories about animals with their heads stuck in things because it's just a lot of them.
The specificity of a skunk with his head stuck in the McFlurry cup.
I'm watching it.
It's hilarious.
And the officer donned a glove and carefully approached the skunk.
And I love this line, which was apparently unable to see the officer.
Because it's not a see-through cup.
Because it's a kid.
All it's doing is like, I am in a world of yumminess.
I'm blind, but it's delicious.
And then all of a sudden, what is this stuff?
Because he must be wondering, what am I eating?
That's always wonderful when animals discover, like, if you're a fly and you land on a rack of ribs, that just must be crazy.
It's like you landed on a continent of deliciousness.
We don't get to ever experience that as humans.
Like on an entire continent.
Or at least an island.
Is this what you dream about?
A Florida Key.
Like, I've landed on the island of ribs.
Yeah, like I would land on the sausage and run to the other end of it.
Sorry.
I'm fantasizing here.
The guy who runs the police department must be a dad.
Because the car posted, what do you get when a police officer and a skunk cross?
Law and odor.
Apparently, the skunk didn't spray him, too.
Oh, nice.
That guy can't be a dad.
That's the lamest dad joke.
That's lamer than a guy.
That'd be a dad joke.
Maybe he's a decouplet dad.
Too exhausted.
Too exhausted.
That's a lot of dad jokes to keep up with.
Give him time.
All right, we got one more, I think.
Oh, do I?
I have to read this one, though.
Who?
Las Vegas woman crushes three watermelons in seven and a half seconds for world record.
A Nevada bodybuilder crushed your world record when she smashed three watermelons in 180 seconds.
Courtney Olsen used her thighs.
Used her thighs.
Oh, with her thighs.
That makes it a little more interesting.
And she nearly halved the previous world record of 14.65 seconds.
Watermelon thigh crushing.
That's so stupid.
She needs to put a YouTube workout series out, man.
I know.
God.
God.
She's like the Gallagher of bodybuilding.
Have you guys seen the hydraulic press videos?
Will it?
So there's this guy that lives in Poland or something, and he has this gigantic hydraulic press.
Oh, I've seen, yeah.
You know, and he crushes all sorts of different things.
I feel like there's a future for her in with like slow-motion videos.
Can't crush it.
Yeah, get together with the slow-mo guys or whatever, the guys that do the slow-mo videos.
Yeah.
Like a full soda can and slow motion with like a 4K camera.
Phone book.
Water balloon full of spaghetti sauce.
Gusher.
Hey, guys, summer's here.
And all you people that live in states that have winter, it's time for you to get out your t-shirts.
Look at this.
Babylon B t-shirts.
These are amazing.
I want this one.
I don't even have one of these.
I'm going to take this one.
That's the blue one.
That's the blue origin.
It's got blue origin.
Nice.
And look at on the back, it says Babylon B. That's so cool.
This one says support fake journalism.
And it's got kind of a grungy feel.
Grungy feel for the Seattle people.
Yeah.
Designed by Ethan, our Gen X grunge.
Yeah, I like the Gen X grunge.
That grunge look.
Yeah.
And Andrew's holding one up, even though he's disavowing the Babylon B. Yep.
He's holding it up.
I'm taking this shirt.
Do something terrible to it.
Yes.
To burn it.
Certainly not wear it.
Yeah.
Buy shirts and then burn them if you hate it.
Oh, here's one that's unexpected.
Oh, it's just the Babylon B on a shirt.
I do have that one.
I like that one.
There you go.
Babylon B logo.
So check it out.
Shop.babylonb.com.
We have a ton of shirts, hats, all kinds of goodies.
It's awesome.
Buy some shirts, guys.
And if you're a subscriber, you got your discount.
Yeah.
Boom.
In your email.
We are a satire site.
We tell jokes.
That's what we do.
Sometimes people mistake those jokes for reality.
Is that our fault?
You be the judge.
I don't know.
Was that a good intro?
Sure.
Yeah, keep going.
Roll it.
So we've updated you guys on this podcast before that the New York Times had published a piece calling us far right information far-right misinformation that uses satire to protect our presence on Facebook.
They say we're a far-right misinformation site that sometimes traffics in misinformation under the guise of satire.
They're the guys.
Which is the funniest, most sinister description.
Because if you visit this place, it's a couple of guys that make dad jokes.
It is really dad jokes.
Law and odor.
People identifying as people.
That's all we do.
And we really have no.
I don't think there's ever been a time when we've sat around and gone, how can we trick more people with this headline?
Not even on our minds.
I mean, like there's ones that it happens with.
And a lot of times it's unexpected, but it's definitely not our mission whatsoever.
Yeah.
But it's also not our, we're not sitting there going like, we can't trick anybody.
Yeah.
Because there's so many dumb people.
If we did that, it would be like, I mean, even because even our stupid, some of our stupidest headlines have become.
I know.
And that's the funniest thing is the ones that are so dumb, like the one behind you with the marijuana character added to veggie tails.
That one got passed around.
Like, yeah, they're really adding a marijuana plant to veggie tails.
Well, yeah, I mean, we've mentioned this many times, but the giant washing machine to spin the news that CNN had installed.
Yeah.
Fact check.
Fact check.
False.
Fact check.
That one we got like dinged on Facebook for that one.
Yes, we did.
So fact check.
News is an abstract concept and it cannot be put in a washing machine.
So if we tried to be as ridiculous as possible so that nobody would ever think that any of these were true, it still wouldn't work, I don't think.
Yeah, because they still, yeah.
I think I've told a story before, but my last job I was talking to a guy that had read an onion headline and thought it was real.
And he's going all serious with me.
He's telling me, Did you hear about those two cruise ships that shot cannonballs at each other?
And I immediately knew which onion story he was talking about.
And I let him go.
And I'm like, so that was satire.
And I'm explaining it to him.
He's like, what?
He didn't understand the concept of satire.
He was an older guy.
He just didn't get it.
It's like, no matter what, someone's going to think it's fake.
So anyway, what happened recently we wanted to update you guys on is that we sent a letter to the New York Times from our legal department saying, hey, knock it off.
And because they never really retracted that article where they mentioned that we were a misinformation site.
What they did do was kind of update it and just say, well, you know, we're not saying they're misinformation, but Snopes has called them in misinformation before, which really isn't even true because Snopes did, but then they walked it back and they were like, no, they're clearly a satire site.
It's jokes.
Jokes.
So we've asked for a retraction from the New York Times.
And as of now, and I don't know, this is coming out Friday.
As of right now, when we're recording this, they have not responded to our letter.
So we're going to have to decide what action to take next if they don't respond.
There's only one option.
Write very angry things on Twitter.
Seth Dylan, you are a monster on Twitter.
You were like triumph the dog at the Comic-Con, just roasting noobs left and right.
Seth is a little, he's a little feisty.
He likes these twitters.
He likes the controversy.
It would be a little feisty on there.
It's amazing.
Yeah, I think what happens with a thing like this when there's a site, there's a when they can just say a thing, whatever they want to say in their New York Times article down the road, they make another article and then they refer back to this article.
They cite it.
They link to themselves.
This becomes their citation.
And they go, see, Babylon Bees misinformation.
And all they did is the word is blue with an underline, making it sound very official.
And that citation is just somebody saying something.
Yeah.
And the most bizarre thing is that the first time they called us misinformation, the source for that was they interviewed their own reporter who interviewed us.
And so the guy that wanted to write the article saying that we capitalize on confusion with our readers.
And he asked that question.
He interviewed his own reporter and said, so it seems like Babylon B is misinformation.
Is that true?
And then the actual conversation led to her saying that I don't think they purposely try to do that.
At the very end, she's like, well, it's clear to comedy.
Yeah, it's clear comedy.
But then they start referring to this when they mention later it's misinformation.
So then the real problem is that fact checker social media, big tech, they'll come along and go, well, New York Times called you misinformation.
We'll ban you or we'll suppress you or whatever.
Right.
You know, as a as a marketer that deals with Facebook all the time, they have no customer service department that you can reach.
They're all like hidden behind this wall of whatever it is.
And we've, one time I got banned, like my account got banned for selling guns and advocating for terrorist organizations when I was selling miniature figures like these little toys.
There was like an orc with an axe and it was like, you are selling weapons and trafficking.
I was trafficking in misinformation, I guess.
These look pretty dangerous.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You're selling angelic weapons of warfare.
No, it was gnarly.
It was like, I actually, in order to solve the problem, because I needed it solved right away because they were happy to let all of my marketing accounts, they were happy to take their money and not let me fix them.
But I had to actually issue an apology for it ended up being the sticking point was that I was advocating for a cyber terrorist organization.
It's like, dude, that's like FBI level stuff.
Jeez.
FBI knocking on your door for it.
So I had to say sorry for doing this.
I won't do it again.
And then they unlocked my account right away.
Wow.
Oh, man.
Just apologize.
We're currently in contact with Facebook over suppression and we're going back and forth with them.
Give me that person.
Well, we're trying.
That's the thing.
It's like they're like, oh, that's really weird that you're posted being suppressed.
That's strange.
And then they're like, let me look into this for you.
And then you'll wait like two weeks and then Seth will reply like, any update?
And then they're like, you know, they'll wait four days and then they'll reply.
It's like, what?
It's like every interview with Jack from Twitter.
Yeah.
Oh, I mean, I don't even know that.
I don't know.
Why should I be free and stuff?
Anyway.
There's always this.
Oh, no, go ahead.
No, go ahead.
Sorry.
Yeah.
Well, there's always this level of customer service that you can access with Facebook support system that it's a guy who has no idea what he's doing, has no authority to change anything, but is instructed to calm you down and make you go away.
I'm so sorry.
Like the lowest paid person in a very low-wage fog country.
Yeah.
And actually.
South Africa.
Yeah.
And the first thing that they told me.
We're going to keep it.
I said, yeah, in ignorance.
I am not a fan of the Babylon Bee.
It's there.
The traffic and misinformation.
It's about.
Yeah.
So these guys, they told me that the decision to ban me based on my advocacy of a cyber terrorist organization called Legion, which is a hacker group, was like one of the characters in your game.
Yes, it literally is.
Is Legion a character?
Yes, he is a character in the game.
And because that's awesome.
So you're a member of Legion the Terrorist Organization?
Is that what you're saying?
Yeah, but this was a miniature squad game called Legions of Steel.
And so the Legion and the other Legion are the same word.
So they must be the same thing.
This is what Facebook is.
Why I'm the demon with the big axe or whatever.
Or the orc with the axe.
Yeah, it reminds me of the cow that was, did you guys see the advertisement for the cow that was taken down because it was overtly sexual?
Or the onions that it's like, yeah, they do all sorts of things.
Sometimes I'm not sure.
I don't want to Google sexual cows, so I'm going to...
Yeah, how are we going to find that?
I don't want to see that.
They got to get an overlay of that.
We'll have Dan jump on that connection.
Dan, Google sexual cow.
It'll be in the show notes.
It'll be in the show notes.
I have some.
Incognito mode that.
Yeah.
So anyway, if you want to support us in our possible legal action against the New York Times, go to babylonb.com slash plans and subscribe.
It's really helpful.
And we've been blown away by the outpouring of support.
And I want to pull some emails.
Maybe I'll do it.
We'll do it in the next episode with people that have responded and been like, hey, we're with you.
And there's like a ton of, yeah, there's a ton of people that's just pouring out support.
So we really appreciate the financial support or just your prayers, which is okay.
Money's good.
It's good.
Prayers are good.
Prayers are bad.
So prayers are obvious.
Both way.
Though.
Yeah, both.
When you pray to be summons, when you pray, it summons one of these forces of heaven activating angel pray.
And they come to attack the New York Times.
Is the New York Times a villain?
No, I just didn't want to dump on different ideologies in the game.
I just wanted people that are like I thought about it I thought.
Well, let's talk about your new board game.
Yeah.
How about that?
Board games.
Let's get into this.
Ethan's very excited.
I know.
I'm kind of scared of Ethan right now.
I'm ready to get trolled and stuff.
And I have a feeling after this episode, I'll be like, oh, man, I would have said this.
I would have said that.
He's not like Ben Shapiro against board games or anything.
Okay, gang.
Okay, gang game.
Here's the thing about board games.
So tell, okay, so you got this game, Deliverance.
Tell us about it a little bit, and then we'll talk about just Christians designing stuff.
Yeah, for sure.
So the game, the way I describe it, it's a Christian fantasy tactical adventure where you play cooperatively with four, you know, one to four players.
And you are elite angels in the army of heaven.
You've come down to this small podunk little backwoodsy town in modern day Southern California called Fallbrook that is rife with demonic activity.
So your mission is to figure out why the demons are like all over this town.
And so there's a campaign where you kind of figure the story of Fallbrook, but the, and then there's like a skirmish where you all can sit down and just play a game.
But something strange is happening in this town where instead of what you would traditionally encounter in the spiritual realm, this darkness is manifesting from the human realm and bleeding into the spiritual.
This represents the evils of the human realm around you, and it threatens to cripple and destroy you.
So you have to slay all the demons in order to win the game and you lose if you're all defeated.
That sounds so awesome.
And I mean that from the bottom of the game.
How are you slaying the demons?
Punch him in the face.
Okay.
Spiritually.
The angels do it or do you do it?
Yeah.
So, I mean, it's a theological fantasy.
So, you know, we're just making stuff up, basically.
So Michael the Archangel has a sick, gigantic broadsword, and you can use that.
Or you don't have to answer me seriously.
Just be like, yeah, they punch him and then move on to Kyle.
Kyle, I need support.
Line.
We need covering fire.
They're cool.
They're tiny and pretty.
Yeah.
And that's one of the things.
I mean, we were talking about Christian games and Christian game designs and all that stuff.
And everybody knows, well, I'll say this.
It's a generally accepted principle that Christian games are the worst.
The worst.
They suck and they're awful and you should never play them.
And any specific ones that you want to slam right now?
Well, I'll all of them, except for maybe like five.
One that is actually decent is called Commissioned.
It's a decent Christian game.
But I mean, it's so easy.
They're such easy targets.
It's like, why would you want to slam something that's just like sick?
And I just wanted to, you know, like stir up a little controversy here.
Slam your fellow game designers.
They're basically trying to make the Christian knockoff version.
Like Christian Monopoly.
Like to me, that feels like okay.
So I'll give you one.
I'm sure it does.
Yeah.
Churchopoly or something.
Christian games are very famous for saying, let's make this but Christian.
So instead of Magic the Gathering, you have redemption where you play angels and demons to like send people to hell and heaven, I guess.
It's like, this sounds like a bad idea.
In order to win, I'm going to send your guy here's sins, load him with sins so that I win the game.
It's like, I don't know, sounds like a bad idea.
That's how it works.
It's free will that gets you to sin, right?
That's right.
So a free will that I play this card to take your free will away.
So yeah, the Calvinist version, they just take those cards out.
But yeah, it's not really.
They have, you know, Settlers of Catan is a really popular game.
You just did this hilarious article that I think has been on your heart for a long time.
With all the Satan-designed horror games.
Yeah.
And you talked about Settlers of Catan.
Well, there's Settlers of Canaan.
You could probably.
Oh, yeah.
So instead of, you know, so you're basically.
How you're going to say Settlers of Satan?
Like some Satan version.
Somebody commented on the article and they said, Satan is in the name of Settlers of Catan.
Catan means Satan.
It's like, I guess.
Fuck twist.
Yeah.
Means some 1900s frontier to me, but I guess.
So, yeah, it's okay.
So as a huge board game nerd, you know, I've got almost 400 board games at my house.
And stay away, ladies.
I'm taking.
And I always find I tell people like, oh, I'm into board games.
And they think, they immediately think, like, oh, you play live shoots and ladders.
You play shoots and ladders.
Yeah.
What's that about?
Right.
So how would you describe that?
How would you pitch this to someone who like wants a Christian board game, but has never played anything beyond it's an epic video game that's actually played on the table.
So it's the way that it works is kind of like if you've played or heard of MMO RPGs like World of Warcraft or I mean, there are a lot of big games, but you control this character, you level up through these challenges and beating bad dudes and whatnot, and then you fight epic bosses.
And that's exactly the experience that you get when you're playing this one.
Except you're angels that are growing in power and you're fighting these epic fallen princes, which are your former angelic allies and brethren that have now fallen and lead the armies of darkness from the shadows.
So it's your mission ever since the victory on the cross to send all of these demonic foes to the abyss to await their final judgment.
So that's that's kind of what you're doing.
And it's really different when somebody, you know, they're so we roll dice, we auction off properties.
Yeah, exactly.
You know, when people, when people get stuck in the candy swamp or whatever.
Yeah.
Is that a thing?
No.
Yeah.
You get the double lollipop, you go to the end, and then you get the single lollipop and you go to the beginning.
Dude, that's probably what people are picturing when you say, I designed a Christian board game.
Like, honestly, that's what people think.
I can't tell when you guys are going in and out of jokes.
He's like, oh, yeah, Candy Swamp.
Yeah.
No, I designed the game with really an experience in mind.
I wanted you to be feeling like this epically powerful angel that is almost about to die.
Pretty much is kind of the idea behind this experience.
And then you pull it together with all of your people and then beat the game, you know, on the cusp of defeat.
And it's a really weird thing.
When I talk to people that have never really played a board game, they immediately start thinking.
And when I say what I said, I really mean that.
I don't mean that you have to do math and add numbers and whatever.
And then you have this little paste it on theme of an angel or whatever.
I mean, like when you're thinking about what you're going to do on your turn, you're actually going to, you're thinking, should I punch this demon or should I cast down this darkness?
Like those are the types of decisions you're making.
And it's really different from the traditional, you know, I roll a dice and move so many spaces and oh, I landed on you.
Sorry.
You know, it's not that type of game at all.
Can Satan win?
You can absolutely lose this game.
So it is not easy, you know.
And it kind of comes from, I mean, we were talking about theology and angelology and all of this stuff.
You know, there are stories in the Bible of angels, you know, like Gabriel, the messenger of God that said, Hey, Mary, baby Jesus, you know, paraphrase.
Yeah.
The message, message translation.
Recorded in all four gospels.
A song that he's saying, like the genie and the Ladden.
Hey, you got knocked up.
Yeah, I'm knocked up.
Yeah, yeah.
So this guy was slated to deliver a message to Daniel, a very important dude, and was blocked by a demon with the title of the Prince of Persia for three weeks.
I've played that game.
Yeah.
Okay.
Yes, actually.
Are we talking about a game though?
No, Prince of Persia.
That was remember the PS2.
Yeah, he runs and jumps.
He can't stop running there.
Yeah, but that was the one that did the wall running first.
That was an awesome game.
I played this.
Oh, did you play the old school one?
Yeah, I'm talking old school.
You're talking like Psychogenesis or whatever.
Oh, I was talking like the 3D reboot.
I forgot.
It was actually, there was like a side-scrolling plot.
Yeah, the side-scrolling that anything.
And he would land on the spikes.
He wouldn't just plant when he landed.
He'd like land in the back.
Yeah.
The animation.
Yeah, cool.
Yeah.
You know, Assassin's Creed became like Prince of Persia in a new like reborn.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Which this character right here is kind of the Prince of Persia Assassin's Creed dude.
Okay.
So, but he's not a demon.
But what's the Prince of Persia a demon?
He's Azrael, the angel of death.
Very, very good.
So are somebody's demons or bad guys?
No, they're all of these are angels.
They're the guys that you would play in the game.
So the actual game itself, actually, we're live on Kickstarter right now.
And on the very first day, to give you an idea of why, I mean, it's easy.
It's very self-serving for me to say, oh, this is a great game.
But I mean, we've raised over $156,000 on Kickstarter right now, just in one day with over a thousand backers and people are coming in from all over and asking me questions like, do you ship to Brazil and Russia?
And it's like, dude, people all over the world want this thing.
There was a game that came out like two months earlier on Kickstarter.
It was like the deep impact to my Armageddon.
It's like the cheap knockoff that hit the market first.
And it raised like $20,000 over a course of like 30 days.
It just was some cheap.
What a loser.
Total loser.
Sorry, Jonathan.
If you listen to this, I love you guys.
But yeah, we'll see some tension there now.
Yeah.
It's actually by the same guys that did Terraforming Mars.
It's like a huge game that's everywhere.
It only did $20,000.
No, yeah.
People didn't like it.
And you know what I find is most interesting is that this game, it is a Christian game, but there's no, it doesn't push the, so you don't need to get saved like by halfway through the campaign if you want to continue.
Sad.
You know, I know.
We would like to distance ourselves from this game.
It's a longest opportunity.
No, but the idea is that you want to just be able to like get together with a group of people, no matter the ideology, and just have fun.
That's what we talk about a lot with like Christian art is that we just make it just to convert people.
Yeah.
And when you say Christian board game, that's that's what 95% of that is.
Right.
It's like you flip over a card and like, oh, you know, did you know?
Did you know that Jesus?
Yeah.
Whatever.
Yeah.
Was it social?
Yeah, I was just thinking the other day that like one of the first things God told man to do, it wasn't like start a Bible study.
It was like, name all the animals.
Yeah.
So just look at all these weird creatures and just start making up words.
And make sounds.
Moose.
Make sounds with your facehole.
The first thing God said to do.
Ordained by God in a perfect world.
Rhinoceros.
What was it?
Okay.
With English, but yeah.
So it was even crazier.
Yeah, it was a curious.
I don't even know how they talk.
How to Adam talk, who knows?
Just like that.
That means fish.
Make sounds with your facehole that represents that.
And also members of the market.
Sorry, back to the board.
No, it's all good.
Yeah, but it's just interesting.
Like, how do you approach that?
Do you go, I'm going to make a Christian game?
Or do you go, like, I want to design a cool game and sits on a Christian?
This theme speaks to me.
So, well, one of the problems with games, especially Christian games, is you have these mechanics that, you know, you move around a board and you draw cards and you roll dice and whatever.
And then the theme is just like paste it on.
You know, think about like just like it could be anything.
Yeah, it could.
Like there's, there are a lot of Christian games, settlers of Catan and settlers of Canaan.
And, you know, like, we're just going to re-theme that into pirates and zombies.
You know, a lot of the time you can.
But with Deliverance, the way that the theme blends with the mechanics, dude, you have double banjos on your thing.
Yeah, this is my banjo code.
The deliverance joke.
I wanted to.
Yeah, just in honor of deliverance, I wanted to have my banjo.
I've heard that joke many times.
I was avoiding it.
I didn't want to, you know.
Dude.
I didn't want to get too close to the topic that Deliverance brings up.
Yeah.
Yeah.
No, that's.
It's too late to change the name.
Aren't you?
No, I know.
Aren't you glad that it wasn't that?
So, yeah, it's a so the theme and the way that the actual things that you do in the game are really intricately blended so that it couldn't possibly be anything different.
You couldn't re-theme this to zombies.
It would just be way too difficult.
So, the kind of the core of the game is, you know, I don't like using the word Christian by itself.
Christian fantasy is more like it.
The first thing that people will say, I've been told I'm going to hell at least half a dozen times for various elements in this game.
One of them is female angels.
It's like, oh, there are female angels.
It's like, dude, first of all, there's no evidence for angels with two wings.
They have six wings.
They're terrifying.
They have eyeballs everywhere.
I want to see that miniature.
We'll fall.
I want to see the one that has like eyeballs all over it.
And it's like, yeah, things that like physically make no sense.
Yeah.
It's like, but you're worried about, oh, there's a girl in it.
You know, it's like, there are no girl angels.
It's like, well, you know, I mean, maybe there are, maybe there aren't.
We actually aren't told.
But yeah, like, I just, I just didn't want my players to fall down in fear and start worshiping these things.
So that's, you know, where the fantasy comes in.
But it's murdered by board game.
Yeah.
Brutal.
All right.
Yeah.
Go ahead.
You started talking.
I did.
I thought you did.
No?
I got nothing.
Okay.
All right.
Well, Deliverance, Andrew Lowe's Deliverance is on Kickstarter now.
So go check that out.
As of today, it's just been a day and it's got $150,000 and over a thousand backers.
Awesome.
Funded in eight minutes.
So cool, man.
That's awesome.
Congrats on that.
It's huge.
Yeah, Ethan's done Kickstarters before and it's a stressful time and it's exciting.
Yeah, I didn't get anywhere near that much money.
You're going to crash for like a week after this is over.
Oh man, at least that long.
And then you have to actually deliver it.
Deliver.
Deliverance.
Plus, my wife is seven months pregnant.
Oh, yeah.
So like, I have a feeling we're going to have the baby either a week after the campaign or maybe in the final 48 hours of the campaign when I'll finish from the hospital.
And it's like your seventh kid, right?
It's my sixth kid.
So you don't know about six tuple.
It's a boy.
That's right.
It's a boy.
Because you have like five girls.
Five girls, and then the next one is now a boy.
Finally.
Frequently.
Got your boy.
Time to close up shop.
Like angels as you should all be.
Wait.
Anyway, check it out.
And in the subscriber portion, we're going to give a little demo.
A little demo.
Dive in.
So subscribe to check that out.
Let's do some hate mail.
Hate mail.
But first, you guys should buy the Babylon Bee's first book ever published.
This was published about three years ago, if I remember right.
And it's still a very strong seller on our store.
People still love it.
This is what we actually ship to premium subscribers when they subscribe, except right now we're doing the special where you get the best of book.
But this is our typical gift that we give to new subscribers, how to be a perfect Christian.
And it's fun.
It's a book that we kind of did a send-up of Christian culture.
And it was a lot of fun to write.
So check that out.
It's on sale for $13.99 on our store, regular price, $18.99.
It's also on Amazon and anywhere you can get books and all of that.
So check that out.
Shop.Babylumbia.com Alright, well we got an email from Pamela This is our hate mail for today.
And she's who this is replying to?
I have no idea.
Okay.
Subject, woke people.
I am not a woke person.
And your sarcasm is very inappropriate.
I'm trying to figure out the connection.
Do we know?
Or what the angle is, yeah.
Is she like a conservative?
And so she's like, I'm not even woke.
And even I think your sarcasm is inappropriate.
Is that what it is?
I wonder what content inspired her to write.
That's what I'm curious.
I don't know.
It doesn't look like it's a response to anything in particular.
Yeah.
I am not a woke person.
And your sarcasm is very.
Did she think that something we said was directed directly at her?
Yeah, like that article's about me.
Those guys totally wrote an article about me.
You're not a woke person.
I'm a woke.
Yeah.
Very inappropriate.
I have no idea.
Sorry, Pamela.
Send us a follow-up, Pamela, and let us know a little more context of what you're talking about.
And we'll read it on the podcast.
We'll read it to everyone.
All right.
I won't.
Yeah, you're out of here after this.
Yeah, until your next board game.
You have to design a whole other board game, and then you can come back.
Maybe we'll do the Babylon B board game.
Let's go.
You guys get a lot of comments that, like, Babylon B is stupid.
All it is is board games now.
You know, we do?
Board games?
And then other people are like, I love this content.
Oh, you know, that's probably people that are using the comment generator.
That's what Ehrlich was saying the other day.
Ehrlich.
Because people use our comment generators to complain about everything.
They're doing it funny.
They're just being ironic.
They're being ironic.
That's awesome.
All right.
Well, we're going to go to our subscriber portion.
We are going to.
Ethan's going to play his first board game.
I'll be forced against my will to play a board game.
So come check it out, everybody.
Support my Christian brothers.
Coming up next for Babylon B subscribers.
Play a couple of turns and until Ethan can't take it anymore and his head explodes.
You have your basic attack is called overhand.
So you just need to be not so much you are.
And then.
All right, I'm going to do an overhand attack and kill him.
Is that kill him?
Face punch.
I'm used to the games where you push a button and then it just punch.
Okay.
Yeah.
But you guys are just like, read this thing, move these coins around, do all these graphs.
It's like, I like punching people, but let's do their taxes first.
Yeah.
Wondering what they'll say next?
The rest of this podcast is in our super exclusive premium subscriber lounge.
Go to BabylonB.com slash plans for full-length ad-free podcasts.
Kyle and Ethan would like to thank Seth Dylan for paying the bills, Adam Ford for creating their job, the other writers for tirelessly pitching headlines, the subscribers, and you, the listener.