THE BEE WEEKLY: Dinosaur Bones and Fighting Grizzly Bears
In this Bee Weekly, Kyle and Ethan talk to Mark Armitage of the Dinosaur Soft Tissue Research Institute about non-fossilized tissue being found in dinosaur bones and what that might mean for the war between science and religion. They also bring on Senior Writer Frank J. Fleming, our resident expert on animals and women, to talk about how women can gain confidence in fighting vicious animals. There's the usual weird news of the week, glorious hate mail, and more! Intro Ethan returns from his trip Kyle has to chase his cat after it takes a ride in his engine Upcoming Interview Ethan and Dan talk to Michael Malice for round 5! We Read YouTube Comments Weird News Lady Trespasses At Miami High School, Poses As Student In Order To Gain Instagram Followers Chinese Man Discovered Glitch In KFC Online Ordering System And Stole Almost $19,000 Worth Of Food Rachel Maddow Says She Has To Rewire Herself To Not See Unmasked People As A Threat Now That Mask Mandate Is Gone Ohio Is Offering Vaccinated Citizens A Chance To Win A Million Dollars This Black Guy Disguised Himself As A White Dude In Order To Commit Series Of Burglaries In LA Chicago Has Released 1000 Feral Cats Over The Past Decade To Tackle Rat Problem Man Balances Pool Cue On Forehead For 2 Hours, 16 Minutes For Guinness Record Segment 1 Which animals would win in a fight? Animal and women expert Frank Fleming joins us to report on his findings. Kyle and Ethan talk to Frank about his woman's guide to fighting animals Segment 2 Kyle and Ethan talk to Mark Armitage of the Dinosaur Soft Tissue Research Institute. Hate Mail A YouTube subscriber wants us to spice up our channel. Kyle and Ethan come up with some ideas to spice up the channel. Subscriber Portion Bonus Hate Mail Subscriber Headlines of the week Nashville Trip
In a world of fake news, we bring you up-to-the-minute factual inaccuracy and a heavy dose of moral truth.
With your hosts, Kyle Mann and Ethan Nicole.
This is the Babylon Bee.
Fake news you can trust.
Hey, everyone.
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Hey everyone, welcome to the Babylon Bee podcast.
Today, men are way more confident than women that they could win a fight with a Cobra.
Oh, and some guy stole almost $20,000 worth of KFC.
Tasty.
Twist, black guy disguised himself as white guy to commit burglary.
6% of people think they could beat a grizzly bear in a fight.
There was a Christian triceratops scientist who was fired and we get to talk to him.
Oh, yeah, and people really like their masks and they can't let go of them.
Sad.
An angry commenter unsubscribes from the Babylon B. Ouch.
And all this and more on today's episode of the Bee Weekly.
Well, here we are, Kyle.
Here we are.
Ethan's back from vacation.
He's got the little tan going.
You guys wanted to, I don't know.
He just went up to the lake or something.
Lake Tahoe.
Nice.
Yeah.
I didn't even realize we were going to be there.
So as a memorial service, but for my uncle who passed.
Oh, I was like, fun vacation in Lake Tahoe.
He passed a while ago.
They finally had a memorial.
I didn't know him that well.
He's a good guy.
But I didn't realize that Reno was so close to Lake Tahoe.
So we got this cabin and we're like, oh, Lake Tahoe's right there.
It's gorgeous.
Man, it was amazing.
Yeah.
How was your week?
Did I tell you the story about my cat hitching a ride in my car and my engine?
I think I was like messaging it in our little Slack channel, but I don't know.
It's all blur.
I was supposed to be here early yesterday.
Was it yesterday?
It was a Monday.
Oh, yeah.
You were like, I'm going to be late because of my cat.
So I went to the gym and my plan was to go to the gym.
From the gym, straight to the office.
So I get to the gym, whatever, work out, come back out, start my car, and a cat darts away from my engine.
And I'm like, that looked like my cat.
So I'm a mile away from my house or whatever.
And I've chased the cat down the street and it looks at me and it's definitely my cat.
So you have to chase your cat.
It won't just come home naturally.
Cats do that.
It was frightened.
It was like really frightened because it had ridden in my engine.
And so then it, so then it darted into somebody else's engine.
And it was cats and engines.
And then it's just meowing, meowing.
I couldn't get it to come out.
So I call my wife and she comes.
We're standing there.
It was like two hours trying to coax it.
And then finally, the lady whose car it is comes out of the gym and we're just like lying by her car putting our hands under it.
And we're like, oh, our cat is in there.
And she like looks at us and we're like, would you mind just popping the hood?
And, you know, we'll try to get out.
Start the car up and everybody surround it.
And then you can honk, you know, maybe honk or something.
And she's like, oh, okay.
And she gets in and locks the doors and then starts like honking and all that.
And she helped out, but she like did not.
And she was recording us.
She pulled up her phone and she's like, something going on.
I thought for sure we were going to like, this was our plan to like take cars and people.
So finally the cat darted out.
This is my, and I was going to go from the gym straight here, which is like 40 miles.
So if the cat hadn't left, he would have ridden into my engine on the freeway for like an hour.
Well, I can tell you something I did this week.
I interviewed Michael Malice.
And Dan was there because you were busy.
I was a busy, busy man.
It was a crazy time.
It was only a certain time we could get him on.
He's here in person.
And that's coming out this week.
We talked to him about joy and humor in darkness.
He's got a new book, The Anarchist Handbook.
We asked him a bunch of questions about that that were stupid.
And Monday, if you're a subscriber, you get to watch it.
Or Tuesday, if you want to wait, you're a freeloader.
You can watch it then.
Yeah.
But you're not going to get subscriber content.
I can't wait to watch it now because I love Michael Malice.
Yeah, he's hilarious.
He's a character, man.
He's like the Willy Wonka of politics.
That's what Dave Rubin says.
The anarchist Willy Wonka.
Willy Wonka.
Has he ever been photoshopped like that?
And now I feel like we need to do this.
So we published a video on YouTube of journalists wondering if Office Mate with AK-47 might be a terrorist.
We had an interview with the Associated Press, and they're discovering that Hamas is in their building.
And we had some comments on it.
Yeah, this guy, Darth Elmo, said that female Mars rover was one of the worst, one of the most terrifying things we've ever seen.
That was at the end of the video, a little tag.
We had a little tag, the other story of the Chinese sent up their female Mars rover to attract the U.S. rover.
It's got sick and hair.
And it says, you bankster slayer says, Kyle proves in 16, oh, this was based on we tried to do the Capri Sun world record.
The challenge.
It says, Kyle proves in 16 seconds how irrelevant the Guinness world records are.
Nicely done, Kyle.
It's my whole purpose in the life.
We love featuring your comments.
Please comment on the videos, and you may be featured on the Babylon Bee podcast and become instantly famous by having your comment read and be like Darth Elmo and Bankster Slayer.
Yeah, imagine that you get to be excuse.
I just wanted an opportunity to say their names again.
Imagine that you go out on a date with a hot woman and she's like, so is there anything interesting about you?
And you're like, well, and you could pull up the camera.
I'm also known as Darth Elmo.
And my comment was ring a bell on the Babylon Bee podcast.
Heard of me?
All right, let's do some weird news.
This news is weird.
Lady trespasses at Miami High School and poses as a student in order to gain Instagram followers.
She's 28.
20 years old.
She shows up at this high school in Miami.
And when she was approached by security, she said, oh, I'm just a student looking for the admin building.
But they watched her pass right by the admin building.
And she's walking towards a group of students and she started handing them little pamphlets, which had her Instagram stuff on them.
So she's like going old school, like get Instagram followers.
Is this a thing?
You go door to door to get followers on social media?
With a pamphlet?
She's only 28.
I mean, you think that that seems way more old school to be walking around handing out handbills.
Check out my Instagram.
Do you have a moment to talk about my Instagram channel?
Knock, knock, knock.
Like, how many of those students do you think took that pamphlet and went and signed up?
Yeah, and like to manually punch in someone's Instagram handle versus just sending them a link or something.
I don't know.
She probably got way more Instagram followers from this news story.
And she also got arrested.
She was chased by security.
She got arrested because they looked up her Instagram and found her.
All right.
Well, I hope it works out for her.
Chinese man.
I don't know why it matters that he's Chinese, but Chinese man discovered glitch in KFC online ordering system and stole almost $19,000 worth of food.
Yeah, I don't think it matters that he was Chinese, but this took place in China.
I think it's any detail.
So he's 23.
He discovered a glitch in KFC's online ordering system back in 2018 and along with some friends managed to steal $18,800 worth of food from the fast food giant.
So I guess he would have the KFC app open, use a voucher to order the food, quickly switch over to WhatsApp or WeChat, which is like WhatsApp.
And then he would find that the voucher would have been applied to his order, but it would remain on his account.
So he could use the voucher as many times as he wanted.
So he just found a hack.
He's hacked.
He's kind of a little exploit.
He hacked the kernel.
And so, and he just started getting his buddies like chicken strips for you.
You want to barbecue?
What's that barbecue sandwich they make?
It's really good.
Barbecue, whatever.
It was a long time ago.
Barbecue sandwich.
Yeah, it's chicken barbecue.
Do they still do the one with the two chickens?
It's the double down.
It was like, instead of bread, it was chicken.
Oh, the chicken on the chicken?
Yeah, it was like chicken on chicken.
I don't know what was in between.
Was there more chicken in between?
I don't need a lot of KFC.
Yeah, me neither.
I would if I could get it for free constantly, probably.
Well, move to China, bro.
All right.
Did he get to go to jail or anything?
Man has been jailed for two and a half years.
Well, his friends are in jail for between two years and 13 months.
I guess if you stole like $20,000, that's some kind of larceny.
He's like, I thought it was a, you know, it was all legit.
Oh, man, I don't know.
Rachel Maddow says she has to rewire herself to not see unmasked people as a threat now that the mask mandate is gone.
She said on Thursday night on her show, I'm going to have to rewire myself so that when I see somebody out in the world that's not wearing a mask, I don't instantly think, you are a threat, or you are selfish, or you are a COVID denier, and you definitely haven't been vaccinated.
We're going to have to rewire the way we look at each other because of the CDC's guidance.
Rewire back to not being a psychopath, just normal.
Just being a normal person.
I noticed that on my trip because it's a road trip.
We drove like eight hours.
And so we kept stopping at gas stations.
I kept not going to find my mask.
I was just like, I became bolder and bolder as the trip went along.
And I just walk in.
I'd peek in and look at the faces and notice like there's always at least one or two people in there without masks.
And this is California.
And they were always the older people.
Yeah, they're the ones who don't care.
Yeah.
It says really old guys in there.
It's like, ah, screw it.
But then you got the young people.
Yeah.
So anyway.
Oh, I like what David Hogg said.
Moving straight awkwardly from what I did not finish saying.
David Hogg says, I feel the need to continue wearing my mask outside, even though I'm fully vaccinated.
Because the inconvenience of having to wear a mask is more than worth it to have people not think I'm a conservative.
Ew.
Is that the you face?
That is cringe.
Cringe.
Cringe.
So some people just don't want to give their masks up.
Yeah.
I suspect that we will see people wearing masks for many, many, many years to come.
I don't think it's ever going to go away.
Yeah.
And I think the next thing is going to be some states are going to pass seasonal mandates.
Yeah.
Or at least some areas.
Yeah, because they got to have something for these people that got to have masks on constantly.
Yeah.
They had such a great sense of power.
And like the people in the store is like, put your mask on.
You can't come in here.
The sense of superiority they feel when it's on.
Yeah.
They can't let go of that.
So sad.
Very sad.
Ohio is offering vaccinated citizens a chance to win a million dollars.
The state of Ohio has announced a weekly drawing which will send home five vaccinated Ohians with a million dollars.
Names will be drawn from the state's voter rolls and at least one vaccine dose is required to win.
At least one dose on at least one dose.
You could be half having half.
So if the drawings winner is not vaccinated, then they're just going to move on to the second name or even the third, you know, until they find the vaccinated guy.
Oh, so they're just, oh, I see.
So they're just drawn from everybody.
They're just handing out money.
So do they call you and be like, hey, you just won a million dollars, but are you vaccinated?
Yeah.
No.
Never mind.
Uh-huh.
Psych.
I would sue.
The $5 million is sourced from the unused federal coronavirus relief funds.
Nice.
I'm going to have paid for that.
So they're like businesses that are going under.
They're like, actually, we're going to do a drawing and just call people at random and give them a million dollars.
Not help your business that went under.
Yeah, all these incentives are crazy.
Have you seen some of the stuff that they're doing in all these states?
Like the city of New York, Bill de Blasio sitting there eating a cheeseburger and fries.
And he's like, it was a steak shack or one of these, one of these places was given out free burger if you go get vaccinated.
A free burger.
You know, we did with the original one was the Krispy Kreme.
You get free Krispy Kreme all the way around to get vaccinated.
Wow.
You get diabetes, but at least you don't have COVID.
This black guy disguised himself as a white dude in order to commit a series of burglaries in L.A.
So he hit a lifelike mask with fake hair.
We need that picture of that mask.
See that?
gotta see this it's very where'd he get it Does he work in like Hollywood makeup?
Yeah, it's like a full-on all around the head, 60-degree, down to the neck.
Has hair.
Mask.
So they're investing the security footage and they noticed that he always had his mouth open, which helped them to realize it's a mask.
Because his mouth would dry out at some point.
We're looking for a suspect who has a mouth breather all the time.
They identified his vehicle in Beverly Hills earlier this month, so they got him.
Got him, boys.
This is great.
So was he just trying to disguise himself?
And it just happened to be a white mask?
Yeah, I don't know.
Do you think this was like completely throw them off?
We're looking for a white guy.
I guess.
Categorical.
Yeah.
He should have dressed as a white woman to even throw more of a wrench into the system.
Yes.
Like that rover.
Right.
Like, yeah.
Oooga.
Yeah.
Chicago has released 1,000 feral cats over the past decade to tackle the rat problem.
So they released more than 1,000 feral cats onto the streets over the past decade, hoping to end its long-running ranking as the rat capital of the U.S. They're going to become the feral cat capital of the U.S. That's not something you want to put on a sign.
Welcome to.
Don't worry, we're taking care of the rat problem.
They're just dumping bags of cats everywhere.
And they're feral too.
So they're like, I like that.
It says it's called the Cats at Work program.
We're putting your unemployed.
They're feral, so they're like homeless.
They need a job.
They just get all the rats they can eat.
So what's next is releasing dogs into the feral dogs.
Releasing feral dogs.
Yeah, it could easily become that book.
It's like there was an old lady.
There was a Chicago who had a bunch of rats.
Yeah.
And they released the dogs, and they got to release horses, and then they got to release rhinoceroses.
Yeah.
And then T-Rexes.
The story is in 10 years.
It's just the T-Rex capital of the Chicago becomes Jumanji.
But there's no rats.
No rats.
Man balances pool cue on forehead for two hours and 16 minutes for a Guinness record.
That'd be hard.
Two hours and 16 minutes?
You know, I'm.
You're swaying.
It's swaying.
I'm kind of okay with this.
That's not something that I could do on this podcast on a whim, like drinking a Capri Sun.
I thought it was interesting.
So, David Rush, our guy, David Rush, who we need to have on the podcast at some point, he broke more than 150 records, and he had the previous record of an hour, three minutes, 14 seconds.
So, this overachiever, British performer, broken by a British performer.
I don't have his name.
He's a British performer.
He balanced the pool queue for two hours, 15 minutes, 19 seconds.
He could have beat it by just a few seconds, but he went on like he went on like Elisha or whatever, like the prophet.
He's like, dump water all over the, you know, like he went like, let's more than defeat David Rush.
He really had to make David Rush feel bad about himself.
Yeah, like, crush Rush.
I'm just going to destroy you.
And he didn't do it for STEM.
He just did it to crush David Rush.
I'm watching the video here.
It's pretty impressive.
Huh.
What's he doing for two and a half hours?
And you got to be sitting there.
Does he have anything to do?
Is he playing a game?
Bouncing it like on his.
He's bouncing it on the small end.
He's alone in his house on a video and he's holding his arms up victoriously.
Take this, David Rush.
All right.
I hate STEM research.
This is the end of STEM research.
He's found it.
Yeah, if he wins.
He's got an arch nemesis now.
If he wins, he gets to take money away from the STEM research.
The arch nemesis of David Rush.
All right.
Well, that was our weird news.
Killed it.
We blew through that.
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That's faithfulcounseling.com slash Babylon B. All right, so this is just crazy.
There was this crazy survey that I saw on Twitter that was going around.
Yeah.
Yeah, it's been everywhere.
They asked, well, I think first they were like, what animal would in a fight against other animals?
I wasn't quite following.
Yeah.
So it's like percentages, like elephant would almost all the fights.
Yeah, and then they almost buried the lead because then there was a kind of a related survey that was much more interesting.
That was who do you think you could beat as a human being could beat.
Right?
Yeah.
So like, yeah, so Cobra, I thought that was one of the more interesting ones because the other thing they did is they asked men and women and they divided them by.
That was the most interesting part to me is there was the spread between men and women.
What kind of animals men think they can beat and what kind of animals women beat?
Like vastly more men think they could beat a Cobra in a fight.
Yeah, there's like this weird jump.
There's also interesting things where like a certain amount of people think they could not win a fight with a rat or something like that.
So anyway, we're going to get into this with our animal fight specialist, Frank Fleming.
Yeah.
I'm really interested to hear his commentary on this medium-sized dog.
What it counts as a meeting like a collie or something?
Because that was the one that had a huge gap between, it was the biggest gap between men and women.
Like a bunch of women were like, no way.
And men were like, yeah, I got to do that.
Oh, yeah, easy.
All right.
So let's dive into that with a little Frank Fleming.
All right, Frank, thanks for joining us.
You are a world-renowned expert in fighting animals and analysis of that.
Animals versus animal, people versus animal.
Can you tell us a little bit about your background?
Yeah, I'm a, I'd say, the world's foremost expert in animals and in women, uh, who are a subset of animals.
That's true, because there's an interesting aspect of this study that was taken where people talked about how if they thought they could win in a fight with different animals, and women had a lot less self-confidence than men when it came to a lot of different animals.
Yeah, yeah, uh, you say, Yeah, it was a bit disturbing to see the uh the differences there.
I could tell that's uh a big confidence camp with women.
Yeah, were there any animals that women thought they could beat more than men?
I just see lion, it looks like, uh, by one percentage point.
Um, more than notice that, really, more women thought they could beat a lion than men.
That's a twist, but yeah, actually, if you look at the uh, the first four animals, which are grizzly bear, lion, elephant, gorilla, these are the ones where basically no one has a chance against them, but there were some people that thought they could, but it's still six to eight percent, yeah, six to eight percent.
Yeah, there's not much difference actually between men and women on those.
There's just as many crazy women out there, or maybe women who don't know what a grizzly bear is, they just don't know what it is.
Sure, yeah, I can be but yeah, as soon as you get to the animals where there's actually some strategy you could use, that's where there opens up a big difference between men and women because I think women just don't have the confidence in it.
Uh, there's been other surveys like women don't have as much confidence in um asking for a raise from their boss, and I think you just see this uh translate over here where they don't have the confidence to kick a medium-sized dog across the room, you know to which you know, I uh to paraphrase ZZ top, uh, ladies, you have legs, know how to use them, yeah.
So, we look at these these top ones, grizzly bear, lion, elephant, gorilla, crocodile.
And you were saying, I mean, you cut it off at gorilla of ones that you don't have a chance against.
So, you think people might have a chance against crocodile, and yet all of those are like almost the same percentage of people that think they can beat them.
So, walking down the street, if I see 100 people, like close to 10 of those people are thinking, yeah, I could beat a grizzly bear.
Are these the people that are exclusively on meth at the time that you talk to them?
I mean, some people just, you know, they feel good about themselves, they have that self-esteem.
Um, some of them get ripped apart by animals because of that.
Some of them go on to be successful as business, you know, it's raises their circumstances there.
Yeah, right, yeah, right.
So, yeah, they are going to march in there and ask for a raise and probably be successful most of the time.
Yeah, unless their boss is a grizzly bear.
So, yeah, then they'll most likely be ripped apart.
So, do you want to look at some of the anomalies here as we go down the list?
We have wolf, kangaroo, chins, and then king cobra.
Yeah, the cobra gap fascinates me the most.
Just as many women think they can beat an elephant as a king cobra.
Yeah, yeah.
That one's really interesting because for the most part, men and women rank the animals the same, except more women seem scared of a cobra than men, which is silly because I mean, well, I guess they're just worried about the poison or something.
But I mean, okay, a cobra is big for a snake, but it's you're way bigger than that.
You can just grab that thing and just snap its neck.
Now, what people worry about is the poison.
But how long does a king cobra venom take to kill you?
Pop quiz.
Anybody know?
Okay, everybody knows it's about 30 minutes.
Okay, everybody.
So, how long?
How long does it take to snap a snake's neck?
The New York Times says 15 minutes for a king cobra bite.
Well, that's the near answer.
Yeah, yeah, you know, if you have pretty fitness, bro, legacy.
It might just take 15 minutes, but you can snap him.
But yeah, if you jump in there and grab that snake, you know, you can snap its neck in a few seconds.
That leaves you.
All right, stomp on its head.
Yeah, and that leaves you like 29 minutes to drag the snake corpse to the nearest hospital so they can get the proper anti-venom.
Are you wearing clothes?
That's fine.
Like, did they specify?
Because I know they said unarmed, but do you have shoes on?
Are you naked?
I assume you get well.
I assume in this, yeah, you have clothes.
And so, also, you know, if you're talking about how women can fight animals and be more confident about that, I usually assume they have high heels and dresses.
Right.
So, yeah, I didn't realize that.
It fascinates me that women in general believe that they have just as much ability to fight an elephant as a cobra, no difference.
8%.
Yeah.
Yeah, that's a weird one.
Like I said, snakes, king cobra is easy.
I mean, you're just, I mean, it's big for a snake, but it's still just like 20 pounds.
And those aren't necessarily the same eight women, though.
Yeah, yeah.
It's true.
It's just a percentage.
Yeah.
So one way to look at this chart is that compared to women, men have far more confidence in medium-sized dogs and being able to beat medium-sized dogs and geese.
Like those are the biggest gaps.
Yeah, that's a crazy gap.
I don't know if women are like, oh, I don't want to hit a puppy or something.
If it's him or you, you got to kill that thing.
And, you know, when you're beating a medium-sized dog, I mean, it's like, you know, you're like a giant to that thing.
You just stomp and smash.
I mean, it doesn't have a chance against you.
It's like David and Goliath and you're Goliath, but you know, it doesn't have a sling.
Just stomp that thing.
David with no sling.
Yeah.
It's, you know, it's not a common martial arts move because martial arts usually focuses on you fighting something of similar size.
But when you're a lot bigger than something, the best move is just stomping, especially if you got high heels on.
Then it works even better.
And I don't know if a lot of these animals have very good ground game, but that's important in jiu-jitsu.
Oh, yeah, like an eagle.
You get that thing on the ground.
It's dead.
They don't even know what the ground is.
They're never down there.
It's got hollow bones.
You'll crush it easy.
So I know, I guess a lot of women, maybe they don't know a lot about animals.
That's why, you know, it's good as men to explain things to women when you can to help them gain more confidence.
That's the problem with no more man splanning, women don't know woman confusion is up.
Yeah.
With man splitting down.
Yeah.
So just about half of women think that they can beat a goose, and it's close to three-quarters of men.
That's just a super.
I want to meet the man who says I could never beat a goose.
Who are these men?
You haven't seen my cartoon, goose fighting animation I made.
Like, I think that's a great illustration on technique.
He has a goose fighting cartoon.
But yeah, I mean, it's goose.
It's like, okay, you go from eagle to goose.
A goose, it's like an eagle, except it doesn't have talons.
It doesn't have a beak that can do any damage.
It's just annoying.
But I mean, you can, it's got that stupid goose neck you could ring.
And again, you just knock it down and stomp it.
I always recommend stomping when you have enough size advantage.
You do need to go for center mass.
I think that's why I determined I was trying to animate that because the head is, it just bounces back.
You punch a goose, its head just bounces back.
Too much give.
You got too much give on the neck.
Yeah, yeah.
If you're trying to go for punching like an uppercut, it's too small a target.
That is not a great idea.
The amazing thing to me is that people thought they could beat an elephant because how, like, what does that look like to you?
Oh, yeah.
I think they're just thinking, oh, it's so big and lumbering, I can outmaneuver it.
And yeah, maybe you can get on its back, but then what?
Fight for its brain.
Or maybe it swallows you, then you punch through from inside of it or something.
Well, I think a lot of guys think they'll just get up and punch it in the head.
And there's like, you know, well, it's got its trunk then if you try that.
And they're saying, oh, I'm stronger than a nose, but you're not.
An elephant's nose will pick you up and throw you.
You're going to need to dodge that.
My recommendation, especially if you're a woman fighting an elephant, is to take off your high heels and jab out its eyes, and then hopefully maybe it runs off a cliff or into a tree.
Yeah, it's a good strategy.
Well, you want to go through your guide to fighting animals?
We can, uh, yeah, Frank actually wrote a guide.
Summarize the lady's guy, a lady's guide to fighting vicious animals.
Well, yeah, as they said, we identified a problem here that women's confidence gaps.
So I thought I'd help by explaining how to beat each of the animals the next time.
Okay, you know, women will be more confident on how to take these things on.
Yeah.
So for the grizzly bear, you tell them to do a tornado roundhouse kick right to the bear's head.
Yeah.
Well, yeah, the important thing to realize here is nothing's going to work.
You're going to get ripped apart by that grizzly bear.
So you might as well just go for it.
Because if you time a spinning roundhouse kick just right into the grizzly bear's head, probably nothing's going to happen.
But maybe, you know, it'd be pretty cool if something did happen.
The important thing is just to have the confidence that you would win, even if it's factually impossible.
Yeah, yeah.
I mean, you need the confidence.
Yeah, like going in to ask for a raise.
It's the same.
Yeah.
Company you don't even work for.
I mean, would you rather die doing a spinning roundhouse kick or die curled up in a ball and sobbing?
I guess that's the question.
Yeah, this sounds like all the bears want to kill you.
This is straight out.
You should, yeah.
If this fascinates you, read my book, Bears Want to Kill You.
I'm just promoting myself left and right on this.
Okay, what's your lion advice?
A lion, I mean, that's a dangerous thing.
You got the big jaws, you got five, you got four claws, so you got five points you got to uh worry about.
So you want to take it out quick.
I'm saying you do one of those, like you see this a lot in movies where they jump up and then they punch down.
Yeah, so you got to time it just right and just cock it on the head because it's not that tall.
You can't jump over and get up over it and punch it right to the head.
Um, if you're a petite lady, though, uh, you're gonna be working against yourself, you want a lot of weight into that.
What about the whole like just slam him in the throat windpipe?
You know, you that they still do it like to do that to rapists and stuff.
You work on lions low for that, you have to be like crouching down.
It's gonna the thing about the jumping punch is no other animal would do that, so a lion's not gonna expect it.
Okay, you just come flying right at it or an elbow drop, yeah.
Elbow drop might work.
Okay, that's not that's not the worst idea.
Thank you.
So we've got elephant, you kind of told us high heels, gouging the elephant's eyes out.
Oh, yeah, definitely.
And going off the cliff, the nose, gorilla.
Well, here's where women, yeah, women might have more of an advantage than men because it's well known that uh gorillas are uh vulnerable to feminine wiles.
You know that from like King Kong and such, right?
So they just got to like charm the gorilla, and as soon as it lets its guard down, like pick up a rock, yeah, yeah, the gorilla turns into a slobbering coyote or something or wolf, his heart's come out of his eyes.
Yeah, but I wouldn't take it head on, I wouldn't just like box it, it's gonna just grab you by your arms and rip them off.
You charm it and then feed it a poisonous banana or something.
Oh, that's unarmed.
You know, I'm thinking you got rocks around.
I mean, that doesn't seem like it'd be breaking the rule.
Okay.
All right, crocodiles.
Well, crocodiles, here's where you start to, you know, those first four, it's like most likely you're not going to win.
The crocodile got strategy here.
Everybody knows you grab it around its mouth, you know, it has weak muscles for a lot of muscles for closing the jaw, not for opening the jaw.
So you just hold it shut.
And, well, I'm not really sure after that.
You could try technically.
Technically, nostrils.
Yeah, technically, you could drown it, but that takes about an hour.
So, but as long as you're holding on and it's not chomping you, you haven't lost the fight.
Right.
Well, so you went into detail here.
We got all the way down every animal.
Wolf.
You got any highlights for us?
Give us the wolf.
I want to hear the wolf.
Well, now, here's the first fight I think is just really doable.
Like, you can do this.
You know, the others, I'm not really sure that's ever going to work out.
Because, you know, wolves are deadly in packs, but if you're fighting one by itself, you know, you're dealing with a big dog, but you're still most likely bigger than it.
So, no, you only have to worry about the jaws.
It doesn't have like claws that's going to do much damage.
It's superficial.
So what you want to do is you want to get clamped down on something.
So for women, you know, they got like their dresses and stuff, like just wave that front of it, get to bite it.
And then you grab the jaw with one hand.
Again, like it has the same weakness as a crocodile.
You just got to, you know, you can hold his mouth shut and then you just kind of punch on it with the other one.
Just keep punching.
So a lot of punching.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Kangaroos, though, can punch.
Do you have kangaroos here?
Most of these animals can't punch, but kangaroos are able to and they kick really hard.
Yeah, not really.
I looked this up.
There's only one recorded instance of a kangaroo killing a person and no instance of them killing a woman.
So I really think, you know, this isn't as tough as people think.
It's got like little T-Rex arms.
They can't punch that hard.
And they're not going to like jump on you like Super Mario or anything.
So you just, you just got to uppercut them.
They got a tiny head, small jaw.
Yeah, there's that video of the guy who punches the kangaroo in the face and he just looks shocked and he just bounces away.
He's like, nope.
Yeah, they're not fearsome fighters.
I don't know where they got that from.
Probably Looney Tunes.
All right.
Well, go check out Frank Fleming's Substack.
You can read the rest of these, frankjfleming.substack.com.
Substack's like a fake news version for journalists or something for journalists.
I don't really know what substack is.
Me either.
But I also want to, let's just conclude with the house cat because this one's a super interesting one.
That a significant number of like women and even some men didn't think they can beat a house cat in a fight.
Or a rat.
Yeah, that's crazy.
I mean, it's like fighting a duck-sized lion.
So, but, you know, again, you got, you know, mouth, four claws, but it can only do like superficial damage.
I mean, it's not going to be a pleasant fight.
Let's just say that.
It's not.
But you grab that thing.
You can crush it.
You can stomp it.
Any grown adult, man or woman, should be able to beat a house cat.
You might get scratched up, but you're going to win.
25% of people, man or woman, think they can't beat a house cat in a fight.
That means that statistically, one guy in this room secretly thinks he could never beat a house cat.
Patrick in a fight.
Is it Patrick?
Is it you?
Is it I, Lord?
It could be Gavin.
Is it I?
Maybe, maybe 25% of people have really bad cat allergies.
Well, with women, it's like one-third of them.
Yeah.
A house cat, it's like a third of them don't think that they can beat a house cat.
Oh, yeah.
I'm bad at numbers.
Like one out of every three women.
Oh, yeah, because they said 64.
Yeah, I'm considering, I'm counting rat and house cat.
It's like the same number.
One out of every three women think they get beat up by a house cat.
So 25% of people think they couldn't beat a house cat or a rat.
Maybe they just don't think they could fight any animal.
These are just the people that would never hurt an animal.
No, I mean, that's, you know, they're working against feminism there.
They got to know how to crush animals like house cats.
I think most women could take on two house cats at once.
Yeah.
Just grab them, shake them, smash them into each other.
It's, you know, and they need that feeling of confidence.
You got to teach that to little girls these days.
It's all kind of fun.
You see that?
See that kitty there?
Yeah, you can take that.
Yeah.
So start your kids off.
If you have daughters, start them off fighting kittens.
Build that confidence.
Yeah, they're just grabbing them, throwing around all the time at my house.
Like that.
You know, in Axe Cop, since I keep promoting my stuff, there's a thing called the Fighting Zoo.
It's a special zoo made for just fighting animals.
An ax cop goes there and fights an elephant.
Then he finds out it's actually the real zoo and it's an accident.
But people need to have that.
That sounds like a great idea because it's like you know, because obviously a lot of people just don't understand how to fight animals hand to hand.
And it's just, you know, it's a lost art.
We have guns and we just shoot them.
Yeah, it's sad.
With the guns.
Well, Frank, thanks for joining us.
Every time we come upon news items about fighting animals, we are going to call you in.
Or women.
Or women, sorry.
Especially women.
Or we just have news stories about women.
Then you're an expert on that.
You are a consultant.
Yeah.
I'm always here to help.
Thanks, guys.
Thanks a lot, Frank.
We're going to talk now to Dr. Mark Armitage, and he heads up the Dinosaur Soft Tissue Research Institute.
He's a creationist, and he was fired from Cal State Northridge after he published a finding about finding soft tissue in dinosaur bones or something like that.
Let's talk to him.
You want to see what he has to say?
Yeah, let's pick his brain.
All right.
Well, joining us now is Dr. Mark Armitage of the Dinosaur Soft Tissue Research Institute.
That sounds like an incredibly specific institute name.
Like you just researched dinosaur soft tissue?
Yeah, we have requests to look at a lot of different things, but we're really trying to concentrate on dinosaur remains.
Although we just came from a dig in Oklahoma in the Permian, so we're talking hundreds of millions of years earlier than the dinosaurs.
But we think dinosaurs are what really get people's attention.
And you combine the term dinosaur with soft tissue, and you've got a powerful statement right there.
Yeah, so what are the implications of that?
We found you, Dan, our show producer, who found your story, but you were fired from Cal State Northridge, and it was all bound up in this controversy of you finding soft tissue in a triceratops horn.
Yeah, that's really where it all started.
Although, you know, my training is as a soft tissue processing specialist.
I mean, that was my training in microscopy during my career.
And so when I read the journals in the early 2000s, late 1990s about some of these discoveries, then I realized, wow, it even went back to the 60s where Roman Pauliki in Poland had found a bunch of dinosaur soft tissue.
I thought, wow, this is exactly what I'm doing because as a biologist, processing tissues for microscopy is the same thing you would do if you collect these soft tissues out of ancient remains.
So it was a natural for me to go to Montana.
And of course, we went to the same site that other famous paleontologists had dug at.
And we found this serendipitously.
We found this horn on the last day after digging because we were searching for femurs.
That's what everybody was doing the work on was dinosaur femurs because they're thicker and larger and more encapsulated, right?
And so when we found this horn, it was ripped away from the skull.
I mean, it even took part of the skull away with it.
And it was broken in a lot of pieces.
It was jammed point down into the ground.
So it had been infiltrated with water and soil and microbes and bacteria and fungus and plant roots.
And so we were really dejected when we found it, but it turned out to yield these stretchy sheets of soft fibrillar bones with cells in it.
And I photographed that and it made the cover of American Laboratory.
And it was funny because everybody in the department, because I was running a big million-dollar laboratory there with several electron microscopes and a lot of fluorescent microscopes.
And everybody's like, wow, cool.
Great job, you know?
And then they asked me to publish a paper, which I did, and it was published in Act of Histochemic.
One of our department members was an editor, senior editor there, and so my paper kind of sailed through.
And the rest is history.
Yeah, I got terminated two weeks after the paper was published and sought relief in the courts and got relief from California State.
But we've continued the work since then.
We started the Dinosaur Soft Tissue Research Institute because this work has got to be done.
Look, it's a career killer.
Okay, it killed my career.
So I figured, what the hey, you know, why not just go for it?
So, and we've been publishing some pretty spectacular finds.
So it's really been cool.
So what is it like the opposition say?
You find you find actual soft tissue and they say, it sounds like they just say that can't be.
Or is what is the well, yours wasn't the first wasn't even the first time I found.
So what's the explanation?
Yeah, no, it's it's uh this is just corroboration.
This is a corroboration of what has been found over the decades.
I mean, Dr. Schweitzer did some really elegant work where she actually found actual molecules, specific molecules, not only within the nucleus, but inside the nucleolus where the chromosomes are wrapped up.
She found dinosaur histones in there.
Beautiful, elegant work that shows that these things are still here over supposed deep time.
And so, yeah, what are the implications?
I mean, I think it's rather intuitive.
We all know that, you know, if you throw a chicken leg out in the backyard and leave it for a couple of months, there ain't going to be much left of it when you go back.
And certainly if you bury it in a shallow grave, it makes it accessible to all the very microbes and organisms that are designed to break that stuff down.
So yeah, why are we finding nerves, for example, not only in Cretaceous dinosaurs, but in organisms from the Permian, supposedly 230 to 290 million years old?
Why are we finding fats and lipids there?
So I think it's exciting work and I need helpers.
If anybody wants to help anybody, we'll send them your way.
We'll help.
Dinosaur helpers.
So when you got fired, did they just say, hey, you know, you're a creationist, you're fired?
Or like what?
Are they that subtle?
You can't explicitly show your bias.
But we did uncover the bias that that was going on behind the scenes and it was being communicated to various department individuals via email.
So, I mean, they weren't really even that good at hiding their smoking guns, you know, but no, they called it a budgetary issue, even though my lab was dynamically increasing.
That the number, not just of students that were coming through my lab, increased exponentially, but they added staff members.
They added faculty members to handle the increase.
And they begged me to teach a course.
Of course, I was running my own little microscope company, which I've done for 40 years.
And so I couldn't give them more than two 10-hour days a week.
I worked 20 hours.
They were begging me to work more and more and offering me courses.
And I just couldn't.
I couldn't do it.
And so when the paper came out, it turned out a couple of individuals who had an axe to grind orchestrated the whole thing and convinced the dean to terminate me.
But it really came back on a lot of individuals.
And it was sad because, for example, the dean was exposed for sexual harassment that he had been a part of in his own office.
So it was embarrassing for these things to come out all because they had a distaste for what I was publishing.
Now, what led you to becoming a creationist?
Was it stuff you had found in the lab, or was it something that you had already brought in?
Right.
Well, I've been a biology, a student of biology since high school.
I mean, I've really been enthralled with biology.
And when I was a 16-year-old, I was living in Puerto Rico, and my dad sent me all the way to Portland, Maine.
And there was an island off the coast of Maine called Great Diamond Island, and the National Youth Science Foundation had their summer research program there.
So I went there as a 16-year-old.
I got infected with a microscope bug.
And so I've been putting things under microscopes as far back as I can remember.
But I was a trained evolutionist.
I mean, I was trained at the University of Florida and at Fairleigh Dickinson University, where I spent my freshman year.
So by the time I was a junior, I was a dye-in-the-wool evolutionist.
I didn't question it.
Why?
I hadn't heard any contrary evidence to it.
So I had no reason to question it, even though it made me feel a little uncomfortable inside.
I did grow up in a religious family, but I just kind of chucked it.
I said, you know, who cares?
It doesn't really bother me.
But then when I moved to California, I was moved by a high-tech firm to California, to Los Angeles, and I started interacting with folks, degreed people like myself, who saw it from another perspective.
And they started giving me scientific evidence.
I couldn't argue with it.
And so I really had to come face to face with it.
And yeah, I became a Christian at the University of Florida.
I got radically saved.
I was a long-haired, dope-smoking, maggot-infested hippie type, as people used to say.
And you're still like that, but now you have Jesus.
I'm a rebel.
I'm still a rebel, but no, I mean, I was really unhappy.
My life was a mess.
And I had done it all.
I think the only drug I never took was heroin.
And thank God there was no crack cocaine back then because I did a lot of Coke in college.
And so, but I was empty.
My life was empty.
And I realized I've done it all.
I've tried everything.
Nothing's really satisfying me.
Maybe there is a God that I need to chase after.
And I did.
And I became a Christian and my life changed.
And then, you know, I mean, as a believer, you want to share the treasure, what you discovered.
I mean, the fact that, yeah, okay, I have to live for a little while on this earth.
But I get to go to a place of eternal joy and discovery.
I mean, I, as a scientist, am looking forward to what eternity might have in terms of just discovery alone.
So I want to share that with other people.
So how's the best way to do that?
Well, I've tried many, many, many different ways using science.
And I found the dinosaurs, man, it gets everybody's attention.
And when you tell them, hey, I'm pulling soft tissue out of dinosaur bones with nerves in it, people go, what?
And then we can give them our materials.
We publish everything and give it away.
We don't sell everything.
We give it all away.
So we end up giving away a lot of books and stuff.
So how has your position evolved over time becoming a scientist and finding these things?
Do you feel like any of your has it, you know, how have your views been shaped by that experience?
Well, it has really shaped me because when I first started reading the articles, I thought, this is impossible.
This can't be so.
And then I started working with it myself and I was shocked not only to find how easy it was to go find, but how plentiful it was.
Those two things shocked me right away.
And I reasoned, wow, if me, you know, jumping out there without any prior experience, I mean, I know how to process tissues, but I don't know anything about a dinosaur dick.
If I can go out there and slam around and find this stuff and bring it back to the lab, anybody can do this.
And I made the prediction in 2012 that soft tissue and dinosaur bones would be the norm rather than the exception.
And this is being proven to be true.
I mean, every week it seems like there's a new find or a new publication or a new announcement.
So, how has it changed me?
It's taught me to be more respectful of the science and to be willing.
My major professor used to say to me, my boy, he was from New Orleans, Dr. Lumson from New Orleans.
He used to say, My boy, don't be afraid of where your science takes you.
And wow, have I learned that lesson?
You know, following my science has been a real eye-opener for me.
It's exposed a lot of prejudices in people who just simply don't want to look at the evidence.
It's caused a lot of other emotions too on the other side.
But my goal is to share this with humanity.
I think every person on the planet needs to know that there is a ribbon of soft tissue circumscribing the planet.
It's called the Cretaceous.
It goes all around the planet.
It's full of these dinosaurs.
They're all full of soft tissue.
I can pull nerves, veins, vessels, osteocytes, which are bone cells out of these bones, and I can stretch them under the microscope.
I have video of me stretching a nerve from a Permian bone.
Okay, we've collected Permian bones from collectors, and just last month, we went to the Permian in Oklahoma.
I cannot wait to open the specimen box that we shipped.
But my lab right now is deconstructed.
I'm doing a deep cleaning, and I'm starting from bare clean walls and floors, and just to make sure that what we are finding is really there.
And I'm telling you, for example, you know, we thin section a lot of bones, and we published this last year.
This is a vertebra from a nanotyrannis, and you can see a lot of dark areas in there.
What's that?
That's all clotted blood.
So we published this last September in microscopy today, and we showed the blood clots from six different individuals, six different dinosaurs that were separated by 250 miles from each other.
And so these clots are throughout the bones, and it shows that they died.
I mean, when you die in water, when you drown in water as a drowning victim by asphyxiation, your blood clots.
And I used a UV microscope to show that it's iron.
So all the iron is still there in the clots.
You know, there's this iron preservation theory that's been talked about.
Well, if the iron was sequestered in the clots and unavailable to do the cross-linking, there's no preservation mechanism.
So, no, I think we're finding astounding things.
It's stretching our understanding of the preservation of these things.
And there's tons and tons of work yet to do.
Do you have enough DNA to clone a dinosaur?
No, that's not a good idea.
That's probably never going to happen.
Hey, it makes for a great movie, right?
I mean, my kids and I, we love going to Jurassic Park and seeing it together.
It's great fun.
But no, I mean, DNA is what we call labile.
It's so fragile.
It is a half-life of about 520-some years.
So that means, you know, after 520-some years, half of my DNA is gone.
You just break it off, and then it's half, half, half, until you're down to like eight or nine half-lives, and you don't have much left.
So, no, we don't have complete DNA that has been sequenced.
It just goes away too fast.
Not good.
So I don't want to be chased by one of those down the street.
No, it's true.
All right.
Well, this is super interesting.
I guess just any parting comments.
You got any cool stories from dig sites or any comments on any of that?
Or like the evolution mafia showing up at your dig sites and trying to study?
No, I mean, nobody, everybody's been relatively cool.
And look, all we want is equal time just to share these results.
We're not afraid of where the science is taking us, and we're willing to be critiqued.
I mean, that's why we submit our publications to secular journals because that's where you get peer-reviewed.
And so far, you know, I mean, we got the cover of the last month's issues.
This is the March issue of Microscopy Day 2021.
They gave us the cover.
Why?
Because we found a triceratops bone that we decalcified, and it had nerves in it that matched the nerves that we took out of chicken bones.
So we know that we're looking at dinosaur nerves.
And the question is, how can that stuff still be there?
So we think it's young.
We don't think it's very old.
And we really want everybody to understand this.
Look, if the flood was real and the Cretaceous ribbon around the earth kind of points to that, if the flood was real, then there is another judgment promised.
And we want people to be ready for that.
We want people to understand, yeah, there was a flood.
It was real.
God got bad.
It's going to happen again.
We want you ready, friend.
That's the whole bottom line right there.
What does God possibly have to be mad at us about?
No, I'm just kidding.
I think we all agree.
Why weren't there?
We'll go into a room and look at ourselves in the mirror and go.
Yeah, I know why.
But doesn't that beg the question of why weren't there triceratopses on the ark?
Why were there triceratops?
Or were there?
Do you think there were?
Well, the remains are here.
I mean, I guess, yeah.
Yeah.
It is funny, like, there could have been, right?
Right.
I guess there could have been.
Unless you don't believe the Bible, Ethan.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I'm just trying to figure out the timeline here.
Well, awesome.
Well, thanks for joining us.
This has been very freaking cool.
Yeah.
Folks can get all of our information for free off our website.
It's dstri.org.
Okay.
You can download the papers that are all published.
You can download the books and you can contact us.
Hey, you might even be able to go on a date with us sometime.
So stay in touch.
We need to do this.
We need to go.
I want to dig.
Yeah.
Let's do it.
Let's do it.
Stretch some soft tissue.
Yeah.
I'll show you how to do it.
All right.
We're looking forward to it.
Sounds good.
All right, guys.
Thank you so much.
Thanks a lot.
Thank you so much.
Take care.
All right.
Well, super interesting.
That was fascinating.
Yeah.
Who knew?
Who knew?
I didn't.
You know what else is fascinating?
You know, in this day and age, people are getting vaccinated, but you can also identify as whatever you want to be.
Right.
So that's crazy.
There's a lot of jokes to be made about that.
There's at least one.
At least one.
And so, what if you said I identify as vaccinated?
That would be a great shirt.
Yeah.
So our CEO, Seth, was sitting by his pool of money.
He's sipping a Mai Tai.
And he's like, get Kyle on the phone.
And he's all, Kyle, I identify as a vaccinated shirt.
Get it up now.
So then you called me.
I called Ethan like, Ethan, identify as a vaccinated shirt.
Get it up now.
So then I designed it.
I sent it up to Nico.
I said, Nico, identify as a vaccinated shirt.
Get it up now.
Yeah.
So it just went down.
Yeah.
You know, it rolls down.
But it happened fast.
Rolls downhill.
And we made the shirt, and it's available now in all of its glory at shop.babylonb.com.
There's colors and variations and hats and women's styles.
We may have created an army because there's a lot of people buying it.
And we're basically pivoting from a satire site to a shirt sales company now.
Yeah.
So it's good to have multiple hats with multiple, including a hat that says, I identify as vaccinated on that.
Exactly.
And remember, if you're a premium subscriber, you get a discount.
It's in your email.
Check your email.
Check your email subscribe.
You got a code.
And you get a little discount on everything in the store.
So do that.
Hey, you want to read some angry hate mail?
Yeah.
I really miss Adam Ford.
So during our Brent Pella, this is actually a YouTube comment during the Brent Pella interview, which was actually me and Trevor.
This guy, John Slugger, had some criticism for the show.
So he said, show is a bit boring.
You need to do something to spice up your channel.
And I'm unsubscribing until he finds something to make it more interesting than just three white guys preaching to the choir.
Sorry.
And then, well, he actually did some ellipses there, but they're commas.
Oh, the comma ellipse.
Kama, Kama, Ka, Kamele.
Kama, Kama, Kamele.
Is that rushing?
He's just in rush.
I need more spicy stuff.
Sorry.
So how can we spice up our channel?
You got any ideas, Ethan?
I was thinking we could wear thongs.
Or just, I don't know.
Okay, well, we could do it.
We could have more swearing.
Yeah, more swearing.
That's spicy.
And not bleep it.
Don't bleep it.
Don't bleep the swear.
And like do this when you swear.
Yeah.
Do a lot of body language with your swearing.
Well, he's also mad that we're not that we're just preaching to the choir and that we're white guys.
Right.
So we need to get some.
So we need to be less white.
Do we need to get some angry people of other races brought in?
Or we can just yell at conservatives.
I don't know.
We could, in between each of our bits, we could like yell at consciousness.
Remember the show with Jerry Springer where they always reveal like the guy that you cheated with is here right now or the actual father of your baby, the DNA test is in.
Yeah, we could do that.
Do more of that stuff.
Yeah.
Kyle, you're long, your online lovers here.
I'm not on it for a while.
The editor-in-chief of The Onion is coming through this door right after.
Chug hot sauce.
Or just do some actual murders.
Just kill people live on the thing.
That's spicy.
Dead bodies.
Dead bodies?
Isn't that how that one?
That one YouTuber got real famous?
Was it Logan Paul or Jake Paul or one of them?
Didn't he go out to like a forest of forest and film people that were that had hung themselves and hanged themselves?
Yeah, and you kind of just joked around about it, I guess.
And he was like, well, I don't know if he's joking around about it.
He's like, whoa, crazy.
You know what I mean?
Yeah, just something I don't know.
This is the worst of the YouTube generation.
Yeah.
Taking suicide selfies.
Yeah.
I guess that's what John Slugger wants, though.
Okay.
But he's not going to see this because he's unsubscribed.
So I don't know how he's going to find out.
That was sad.
If anybody knows John Slugger, let him know that.
Once we get spicier, let him know.
Yeah.
You guys got to bring him a pamphlet.
Do they have a snooze thing like on YouTube where you can say snooze and snooze a channel?
Yeah, and then until they get good or something.
Yeah, until it gets spicier.
Oh, you were saying a pamphlet.
That's a good idea.
We should now spicier, Babylon B podcast, and we'll go out to the high schools.
We'll go to schools.
Hey, kid, you ever heard of the Babylon B?
Real spicy.
If you guys want to contribute to Ethan Nicole's bail fund, then you can subscribe to the Babylon B.
And if you subscribe to the Babylon B, you also get our subscriber portion, which we're jumping into right now.
I'm about to jump in.
Go slip over into the subscriber list.
That subscriber portion, we do bonus hate mail.
We got an email from Mel Gibson, apparently.
We're going to read a lot of people upset about the Israel stuff.
We're going to talk about that.
Want to talk about that a little bit?
We might talk about going to Nashville together.
Who knows?
We might talk about all sorts of things.
And we're going to read some subscriber submit headlines.
All right.
Let's go do it.
Let's go slip into something a little more comfortable.
A little more spicy.
Coming up next for Babylon B subscribers.
Israel replaces Iron Dome with a giant statue of Jen Saki to deflect absolutely everything.
That's pretty good.
One thing I found out Kyle doesn't like barbecue.
Well, you guys like Barb.
What is there to like about pharmacies?
What?
It's bland meat that they just put good sauce on.
Why wouldn't you just eat good meat?
When I look at the steaks, the first thing I look at is ounces.
I don't look at anything else, Mike.
I look at the highest ounces, and that's where I pick from.
Wondering what they'll say next?
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Kyle and Ethan would like to thank Seth Dylan for paying the bills, Adam Ford for creating their job, the other writers for tirelessly pitching headlines, the subscribers, and you, the listener.