In this episode of The Babylon Bee podcast, editor-in-chief Kyle Mann and creative director Ethan Nicolle talk about the biggest stories of the week like teenage expert Greta Thunberg teaching everything now, Elon Musk being the real-life Tony Stark, and Biden hiring a translator to render his speech into plain English. Ravi Zacharias went on to glory so our topic of the week is recalling Ravi's impact as an apologist and ambassador of the Gospel. This episode gets emotional. In the subscriber portion, subscribers get to listen to Kyle and Ethan continue their tribute to Ravi and talk about civility, humility, and forgiveness. Pre-order the new Babylon Bee Best-Of Coffee Table Book coming in 2020! Get a Sneak Peak! Send your emails to podcast@babylonbee.com and maybe we will answer you in our next Mailbag segment! Show Outline Introduction Ethan helps out a family. You can help out too at https://www.ethannicolle.com/post/helping-a-struggling-family Stuff That's Good Kyle likes Seinfeld 23 Hours To Kill and Ethan likes Kerry Callen's Super Antics and Halo & Sprocket This News Is Weird Alleged thieves wore watermelons over heads at grocery store 'Virtual Pub Quiz' sets Guinness record for YouTube streaming French serial-killer 'expert' admits he made up his experience — even the murder of his nonexistent wife Pentagon officially releases UFO videos Massive asteroid flying past Earth next week looks like it's wearing a face mask Stories of the Week Story 1 MasterClass Replaces All Instructors With Greta Thunberg CNN added Greta to their panel of COVID-19 experts Check out the new ad from MasterClass! Story 2 California Police Attempt To Arrest Elon Musk's Holographic Decoy As Real Musk Escapes On Rocket To Mars Musk threatened he was leaving CA to another state Musk threatened they were reopening their factory and to come and arrest him if they county insisted on trying to keep them closed CA or the county of Merced backed off Tweeted "Take the red pill"/but red rose is democratic socialism Elon Musk speaks in parables and riddles, like Jesus Story 3 Biden Campaign Hires Interpreter To Translate His Speeches Into English Biden's interpreter reached out and provided a handy key to help us understand Biden's unique and endearing speech patterns. Here are a few of the examples that should help you next time you see a Biden speech. Topic of the Week Kyle and Ethan recall great teaching moments from Ravi Zacharias. Clips referenced: Meaninglessness https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=03qR8b4P8Uk Islam/forgiveness: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GmRCsXRassg&feature=youtu.be Testimony: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yO8HWH7aq-s Civility: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9MYQhFB_f4I Humility: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f78Nr4P5KaE Short tribute: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UP5NybBs0Ak Another short tribute: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HSy4YtExaJg&t Meaninglessness is self-defeating: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4i68mc1lMkc Subjective moral reasoning: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0218GkAGbnU Hate Mail Going to video means we are beginning to get comments on our appearances and some conspiracy theories about Kyle. Paid-subscriber portion Ravi Zacharias still teaches Kyle and Ethan about forgiveness, subjective moral reasoning, humility, and civility. To watch or listen to the full length podcast, become a paid subscriber at https://babylonbee.com/plans
In a world of fake news, we bring you up-to-the-minute factual inaccuracy and a heavy dose of moral truth with your hosts, Kyle Mann and Ethan Nicole.
This is the Babylon Bee.
Fake news you can trust.
Yes, everybody.
Welcome to the Babylon Bee podcast.
I'm Kyle Mann, and this is my friend.
It's me, Ethan Nicole.
Yeah!
Got to be high energy, Kyle.
It's a new YouTube show.
I'm so tired.
You ever see those guys that do YouTube shows and they like get right at the camera?
They're like, what up?
And then it cuts because they keep editing themselves.
I figured to get a good YouTube presence, we need to be in our bedroom sitting on a gaming chair and just shouting.
And they cut to where they're going like, like there's a funny side thing.
So we just figured out why actors do a lot of crack because we're like tired.
Yeah.
And we're like, oh, we need high energy for this show.
I was thinking, can you imagine if our only job was podcasting?
Because that's a lot of podcasters, well, not a lot, but the big ones, the ones who do his job, that's their main thing.
They plan it.
They do it.
They promote it.
But we all do like podcasts is a side thing for us, kind of.
Not for Dan.
I feel like it makes it harder because my head is not in writing and you're doing Photoshops of Trump's gnarly chest.
Yeah, that happened today.
And all of that.
But those podcasters make a lot of money when that's all they do.
So maybe we should switch.
We should.
Writing.
No money in writing.
Speaking of a lot of money, Ethan has a cool story about a guy that he helped out.
Family that.
Yeah.
So, and I fully understand that when you, I feel like talking about this makes it like I lose all my heaven points for doing it.
But that's fine.
That's even more selfless, right?
Cash in your chips early.
Yeah.
You know, you're saving up for the really cool Chuck E. Cheese toy with your tickets.
But it's like, you know what?
I'm just going to buy the sticky hand.
I hate the sticky hand.
You know, like the sticky hand.
But yeah, they feel like a good idea at the time.
Yeah.
So cash in for your sticky hand.
Yeah, so I was out in the grocery store parking lot, had my kids with me, and this guy comes up and asks for any change, any money.
He said this transition is like dying.
It was almost exactly like your story, except for the guy who was homeless.
But he had a whole family with him.
And he had a wife.
He had a baby, a little baby, and a little toddler girl, like four-year-old.
And I really wanted to help him out.
I had $1 cash.
So I gave him the money and then I started thinking like, hey, if you have a PayPal, send me your PayPal.
He's like, I don't have a PayPal.
I gave him my number.
I said, or I said, I can't.
His phone doesn't work.
So I gave him my number later on.
I got a text from him.
And he said, here's my PayPal.
I found, you know, he's on free Wi-Fi or whatever.
I sent him some money.
Later on, a couple days later, he texted me.
He said, I'm sorry to text you again.
I'm just kind of freaking out because the transmission is completely gone.
Like, just same thing has happened to you.
Car's all they got.
He's just basically whatever money he gets.
They're staying in hotel rooms for every reason.
They're not sleeping in the car, apparently.
So I helped him set up a PayPal where you just click the link and send him money as a complete stranger.
And so I posted on Twitter.
Yeah, we got a few retweets on the B account and all this.
Yeah, so I posted on Twitter, you shared it, which I figured it would resonate with you having just lost your transmission completely.
I think you said it was 4K for you.
The quote he got was 3K, but it's an older car and stuff.
Anyway, so the next morning, I think they had like a little over $2,000 in there.
Like he was just blown away.
They called me up.
They were crying, just shocked that all these strangers who I told him just give me a photograph at least for you guys so they know that you're real humans, you know.
Anyway, so I think they're up to around $4,000 or $5,000 now.
So they're enough to cover the car and some expenses.
But anyway, if anybody would like to help out, I mean, I know it's just a random kind of encounter, and I just felt like trying this out.
I've never done anything like this.
I know it's something you can do like one time for a family.
Like, you know, I can't keep doing it.
I can't, you know.
But I would love to get them up to like 10 to 12,000 bucks so they have a few months of rent, get their car totally fixed, food for the kids that he's got a new job, I guess, lined up, but that he can hold on, that he, you know, support his family.
I think our DoorDash.
Oh, we're on time.
Oh, no.
Sorry, no, that's Matt just texting us.
I have to have my phone on because we've got Chick-fil-A on it.
Chick-fil-A is on the way.
I'll leave the link in the show notes if you guys want to pitch in.
And to those of you who have, thank you so much.
It's just really cool to experience watching that happen.
I figure if you really wanted to grow our YouTube channel, you should have videotaped yourself giving him the cash.
Yeah, here's the money and watch him cry.
Watch as this impoverished man reacts and then you stick the phone in his face.
We're not very good at promoting our social media.
We're bad at the YouTubes.
So, oh, well.
But that was my big story this week.
Cool.
Heartwarming.
Awesome.
So check it out in the show notes, people.
Yeah.
All right.
We ready for a show?
We got a big show here.
Let's do it.
Ready?
Yeah.
Let's do it.
This news is weird.
Weird news.
Is that still what it is?
Oh, yeah.
This is real news that's just weird.
So unlike we do weird news that's not real or our news isn't weird.
I think we should just call this not the bee.
A few people have emailed that in.
Oh, yeah.
I think that's pretty good.
I was like, not the bee is like it has a slant.
Like it's it's uh if it's like political or kind of more like something you think we would post.
A lot of these are just really weird.
I think that works.
But I mean, it's kind of like it's already a not the onion thing, you know.
That's true.
But whatever.
Whatever.
Do we get to keep the goat?
No.
We can keep the goat.
Okay.
I still have to redo the graphics, though.
You sounded like a kid who like found a goat in the middle of the field.
Keep the goat.
Can we keep the goat, please?
Father.
All right, what we got first.
Alleged thieves wore watermelons overheads at grocery store.
So they robbed a grocery store with watermelons on their heads.
Cool.
So how are they alleged thieves?
Did they steal something?
Yeah, are they?
Well, I guess maybe they haven't been through court.
They always say alleged in these news stories, right?
Well, that's a nice organic mask.
You know, conscious of the environment, biodegradable.
Yeah.
Smart.
It's better than those little paper masks that probably choke a turtle.
I assume that every time they turn their head, though, the watermelon kind of stayed and they had to move it to cover their eyes again.
It's like eye holes.
Michael Keaton in the early Batmans when he tries to turn and he's like, yeah.
Well, you have to move the whole body.
But even then, because Waterball, it's slippery.
Watermelon, like on your head.
You'd turn and it would stay there.
And then you have to adjust it.
Right?
I'm just trying to think of how I'd animate that.
Which is what you think of everything.
Yeah.
When you're an animator, that's what you think.
How do you animate something?
Virtual pub quiz sets Guinness record for YouTube streaming.
I don't even get that.
What's a virtual pub quiz?
Guinness?
Like if it's not a pub.
They're at home pretending you're in a pub.
Oh, this is what people like the people like the pub quiz, the trivia night type.
Oh, but they did it across the world.
This is some really weird news.
Yeah, it's not that weird.
This is normal.
182,000 households.
Wow.
Uh-oh.
Guys, get Chick-fil-A's here.
Ah.
Well, that was good.
A deep sigh of satisfaction now that we have had our Chick-fil-A.
Devotions done.
Let's move on to the next news story, sir.
Let's do it.
Next weird news story.
Hold on.
A French serial killer, but you don't think of French people as serial killers.
You think him as a little more effeminate.
Well, effeminate guys are murderers.
Yeah.
What am I saying?
He admits he made up his experience, even the murder of his non-existent wife.
So he didn't have a wife.
And then he went out and he's like, I'm a serial killer.
I killed my wife.
And then he didn't even have a wife to begin with, let alone all the people he killed.
So it's good news and bad news.
The good news is nobody's dead.
The bad news, this guy lied to everybody.
He's a complete liar.
Why would you lie about that?
So the story is that he was like an expert working for the cops.
Okay, Dan Phil's the same like a Dan Philson.
Yeah, so he was working for the police as an expert on serial killers.
Oh, he was an expert.
Okay.
Not that he was a serial killer expert.
He was an expert.
He missed the word expert.
He was an expert on serial killers.
Okay, I got that all wrong.
But his origin story he had made up was that his wife was a killer, killed his wife.
And that's not true.
I was way off.
Okay.
Okay, so he lied and said his wife got killed by a serial killer, became an expert for the cops.
I just really liked your deep psychoanalysis of French serial killers and how to do it.
You hated the till the budget went way down that road and you guys didn't stop.
I was wondering you're laughing so hard.
We did this to teach you a very important lesson about reading just the headlines.
No, I had no idea what you were talking about.
I just read the headline minus one word.
The one word makes a huge difference.
French serial killer expert I skipped admits because I was talking about French people.
Go ahead.
The Pentagon has officially released some UFO videos.
Interesting.
Massive asteroid.
Sorry.
I don't know.
Go ahead.
I wanted to hear about the massive asteroid.
Massive asteroid.
That's weird if you don't say Troy.
It gets really.
Massive asteroid.
Flying past Earth next week.
Looks like it's wearing a face mask.
Wow.
Does it really?
Does it?
That seems like.
Which part's the face mask?
It looks.
I mean, I can't really see.
Is it because there's a rock up against it?
Or is it because it's smooth on one side?
There's like a silhouette that looks like a square in front of it.
Okay.
I don't know.
That's a stretch.
That is a stretch.
I'm going to say that's a reach.
More like stretch news.
Yeah.
All this fake news out there.
Yeah.
Sad.
Well, there you go.
That was weird news.
So moving on to stuff that's good.
But now, this week's edition of stuff that's good.
I, this week, watched Jerry Seinfeld's new Netflix special, 23 Hours to Kill.
I watched it too.
And I loved it.
Me too.
The guy still has it.
I heard some people were upset by it on Twitter and stuff.
It's just people that are jerking.
Because he's making it.
Yeah.
I've seen people that were just kind of like, oh, it's boomer humor.
I see that kind of.
I love boomer humor.
I guess that's it.
They want him to be like shocking or political, and he's just not.
He just still talks about kind of just everyday mundane stuff with his Jerry spin, you know.
I mean, works.
Didn't boomers give us like Monty Python?
They gave us Seinfeld.
Yeah, they gave us Gary Larson.
They gave us Bill Watterson.
Wow.
So, millennials, you have a lot of catching up to do if you want to be as funny as your Gary Larson and anyway.
Seinfeld is so good at just structuring the jokes and the timing and the pacing.
Yeah.
I'll learn David too, yeah.
But uh, I just secret weapon, so it's relatively clean if you're watching with the kids.
He actually has a few more curse words than he usually does.
Yeah, there's a few little curses.
He's getting crotchety on all of them.
I think they'd like that.
All the people that were like, oh, he's too much of a boomer.
But the content, you know, content-wise, there wasn't really any a lot of times.
Comedians feel, and that could be what people were saying, which I don't agree with.
Like, for instance, Chris Rock, almost every specials are always hilarious, but he hasn't done one forever.
And then he just put one out on Netflix almost like because everybody is.
And he just is because he's Chris Rock.
And I just found it really bland and like, felt like he was phoning it in because he's Chris Rock.
And it feels like a lot of the comedians are doing that.
The Seinfeld one, I didn't feel that.
It feels like Seinfeld, he has no need to make more comedy.
He's doing it purely for the love of the art form.
Every time I hear Seinfeld, a new stand-up bit, it's like it's not like a whole new set.
It's like he has perfected all the material from all the years and it's always building on all that.
So it's great.
Check it out if you like comedy at all.
He's a comedy scientist.
Oh, and my, so my thing is it's a little more obscure.
Well, quite a bit more obscure.
There's an artist, much, much, much, much more obscure.
This is a comic artist named Carrie Callan.
And I met him once.
We sat next to each other at a comic convention a long time ago.
He does these comics called Super Antics, which any fan of superhero comics, you've probably seen them.
A lot of them have gone viral.
But he draws in that old style of like the 40s comics.
But he does these where the superheroes don't really take each other seriously.
And it feels like a sitcom or something.
Like it's kind of making fun of sitcoms.
I guess we'll put one up on the screen.
I didn't prepare an exact one, but watch it.
Like he had like Superman messing with Batman or The Flash.
Like the Flash will be running by and he'll like Superman puts a pie up and he hits.
It's funny.
Just trust me.
He also has another comic called Halo and Sprocket, which I don't think it was years ago he put it out.
But it's really fun.
It's about this girl that has two roommates.
One's a robot and one's an angel.
So one is like the robot's always being very logical about everything and the angel is always being very spiritual about like morality and stuff.
So just mundane everyday stuff and the way that they would look at it.
Highly recommended Carrie Callan.
I'll put the links and stuff in the show notes.
Yeah, the Super Antics one you showed me was very like anti-humor.
I don't know if they're all like that.
Yeah, it's kind of a it's hard to explain.
It's like offbeat and it's it is like it's like two degrees away from like you're you're putting the heroes into a funny situation, but you're actually making fun of like sitcom type humor.
So like you have to kind of it is a yeah, it's it's very different.
I enjoyed it.
Yeah.
It's good.
Just trust me.
You guys trust me.
Just go out and mindlessly purchase or look at it on the internet.
Read whatever we tell you to follow him on Instagram.
That's all I'm saying.
Carrie Callan.
Follow him.
If we tell you to jump off a bridge, jump off a bridge.
If I was more prepared, I'd have his Instagram name ready right now, but it's Carrie with a K, Callan with a C.
Okay.
This has been stuff that's good.
Every week there are stories.
These are some of them.
Masterclass has announced that they've replaced all of their teachers with Greta Thunberg.
That's powerful.
So, yeah, I watched some Masterclass.
I saw, what did I watch?
I watched Steve Martin doing comedy, but he's gone.
They got Greta.
I watched Neil Gaiman teaching writing, storytelling.
Gone.
Gone.
Would you watch any?
Ron Howard teaches directing.
I didn't watch it, but gone.
John MacArthur teaches preaching.
Gone.
We actually, there's a commercial they put out for this.
Oh, is there?
Yeah.
Can we check it out?
Yeah, we got that commercial.
I am 50 years old, and I'm from Sweden.
We have to listen to the scientists.
People are dying.
How dare you?
I've been repeating these numbers over and over again in almost every speech.
How dare you?
I say we will never forgive you.
How dare you?
You have stolen my dreams, my childhood.
If there's a child standing in the middle of the road and cars are coming at full speed, you don't look away because it's too uncomfortable.
How dare you!
I should be back in school.
And there it was.
Greta Thunberg.
So we didn't actually just watch it.
We didn't.
Well, we did.
Yesterday.
Watch it yesterday.
But we're going to cut it in.
So I need someone to say something funny so I can pretend like I'm laughing.
Well, I was just, I was hoping this would make you laugh.
I was watching it earlier today, and I hadn't noticed you've put in the list of all the other things that she's teaching all the mini classes.
And I noticed it said 3D animation, 4D animation.
She's so amazing that she's teaching animation on another level from anything that we know.
How dare you?
You feel bad at all making that video at all.
While we were making the video, and I had to go.
You actually did the editing, but I had to go find some of the source.
Your idea.
And, well, yeah, the article was someone else's idea.
Joel, it's all we're all complicit.
We're all just stealing each other's ideas.
But I was watching, yeah, I'm like watching video after video of Greta Thunberg.
Yeah.
She really believes.
Yeah, she does really.
You can tell she's sincere.
I do.
I wonder.
She seems like she's gotten the hang of making the angry sneer when she.
Yeah.
Because she's been in this for years, and I realized she had a video from when she's like 15, and now she's like eight.
Oh, 17.
So at least a couple years, she's been doing all these appearances.
So obviously, I think there's like there's probably some people exploiting, and there's probably, you know.
Possibly.
Possibly.
But you do feel like, yeah, she's in the middle of that.
She feels like she's doing what's right.
I mean, obviously, I disagree with all the scientific things.
To me, the joke is on the idiots who continually put her up.
I mean, the joke for this, if you aren't up on the news this week.
CNN, yeah, yeah, yeah.
CNN had a town hall, a COVID-19 town hall, and they made her one of the panelists.
Everyone there else there was like experts of some kind, and then they put her on there.
Which I don't know if that's they did that just to get headlines or it's just like, what are you, what?
But when I was watching those videos and like Sanjay Gupta or whatever, one of the guys on I can't remember the exact name.
Is that his name?
I don't know.
Is it just the list?
Is that him?
Does he?
I don't know.
I don't watch it enough.
But anyway, he's like, he looks like Middle Eastern and he has like, he looks very.
Is he a CNN guy?
I think he's on CNN.
Oh, I'm talking about something else.
Somebody else.
Go ahead.
One of the anchors.
But when she's on interviewing with them, like he's tearing up.
He's so moved by what she's saying.
That's where I feel like I'm in a different world.
Yeah.
Someone like that.
Most of the videos that I went and watched for this to get clips of Greta, there's like always a couple of guys sitting on stage behind her.
There's always people just tearing up.
And I'm like, well, she's not.
It's their gospel.
Yeah.
And it's like, even if you believe that climate change is this existential crisis, we need to act now and all this.
It's like, she's just repeating what she's been told by other people.
I think it's like if, and I'm trying to like totally get in their heads because it's fun to mock and make fun of, but would it be like if we had a kid that was a spokesperson against abortion?
Because in her mind, she believes there's always billions of people dying because of climate change.
She really believes it.
And these other people believe it, and that's how they see the world.
It could be like that.
But would we support a 12-year-old being a spokesperson for abortion or for pro-life?
It'd be a little weird.
That's who Ben Shapiro is.
Yeah, that's true.
He is young, man.
He's like younger than us, huh?
But he says, how do you?
Way younger than me.
How dare you?
How do you?
How do you have stolen junior childhood?
Between words, he does like a little.
He's like, he's locking and loading some more facts and logic.
Anyway, that's my best way of sympathizing with that.
It's incredible.
If a girl was talking about pro-life stuff, crying, a little girl, I might tear up.
Yeah, I was trying to think.
Do we have, are there like kids' spokespeople on the line?
I mean, I know with the Parkland shooting, some of the conservative spokesperson.
Yeah, oh, yeah, there's a couple of conservative kids came out.
Yeah, they got a little bit of a.
That was weird.
We met one of them.
But it was a response to the left that had pulled out these other.
Yeah.
And we met Kyle Cashu.
Kashuv.
Kashuv.
Yeah.
that felt weird right it's like your whole like i just it's weird for that to be your whole persona Now, is I was around some people that got shot.
Here I am.
I suppose you don't like that.
As opposed to your persona of, like, I draw comics.
I drew a comic.
That was a lot of work, right?
Come on.
It was more work than being at school when people got shot.
But really, that's not mine because a lot of people draw comics and nobody knows who they are.
And there's still a lot of people that know who I am, but I'm just saying I happened to make a comic with my five-year-old brother, and for some reason that went viral.
And that's why a large chunk of people know who I am.
Hey, I just wrote words.
I typed words.
Yeah.
Really, we should all be humble about where we're at.
And we'll learn more about that from Robbie Zacharias later.
He has some good words for us.
We just got real here.
Yeah.
You're going to be able to hold it together?
No.
Not during the Robbie Zacharias part, probably.
All right, let's move on.
I'm already tearing up.
Story two: California police attempt to arrest Elon Musk's holographic decoy as the real Musk escapes on a rocket to Mars.
4D chess.
Wow.
Maybe he learned 4D chess from Greta Thunberg in the masterclass.
He took the masterclass.
He invented it.
You think?
Elon Musk.
He took it.
Yeah.
Well, even if he invented it, he still teaches the class now.
Right.
And artificial intelligence.
Because class is now in session.
I don't know what is Elon Musk.
Well, I know that he had a child with the really weird name.
Yeah, what was it?
A9123-40.
I thought we had it in here, but I don't think it's in here.
He had threatened that he was going to leave California to another state.
Right?
Move Tesla.
Move Tesla.
Make Tesla out of here.
He's tired of all the bullocks.
Yeah.
You say that?
That's a bad word in the UK, I think.
Sorry, UK listeners.
It never feels like cussing.
Yeah, it feels like a weird bird.
Bloody bollocks.
Yeah.
That doesn't sound.
Yeah.
Get it.
Sounds like a breakfast that you would get at a pub.
But as a kid who grew up Christian, you know, there's a little thrill if I say a cuss word.
No thrill on the British ones.
Yeah, but don't they say bloody like in the Harry Potter movie?
Yeah, it was really bad to say bloody, I thought.
They say it in the Harry Vodder movies.
It can't be that bad.
But it's English.
Or it's American, Americanized.
Maybe they bleep it in the British version.
Maybe.
I don't know.
I mean, they bleep anything over there.
Oh, really?
That's just my guess.
They seem to really swear a lot.
Not even cleavage?
They bleep cleavage?
Beepage.
What are you talking about?
Well, it's like inappropriate, you know, cleavage comes on screen and it just goes beep.
I've never seen that.
Do we do that?
We probably do.
Kyle Photoshops over cleavage all the time.
All the time.
She's just a normal woman and doing a normal thing, but her normal outfit is too.
You wouldn't believe how much cleavage I have to Photoshop out as a Babylon B guy.
You take the fall for a lot of men who could stumble.
And then I'm sitting on my computer with this giant zoomed-in picture trying to erase cleavage right in your eyes.
Which is just a thing.
But yeah, so Elon Musk is kind of like this modern day, like Iron Man type tech guru that's... Iron Man, not modern day.
Fighting with the...
Well, he was written in like the 60s.
That's true.
And he's also not real.
That's true.
He's real.
He's like a real Tony Stark.
Or he's like, if Tony Stark was real, this weird guy.
Yeah.
He wouldn't be as normal.
Except Tony Stark sold out and he started fighting for the government and the registration side.
He got Sakobe and Accords.
Yeah.
Well, yeah, the green energy thing.
Because Iron Man took the blue pill.
Sad.
Yeah.
I thought we had ideas for other things.
Well, he went onto the factory line.
Right.
He said, I'm going to open up.
Are you talking about Elon Musk again or Tony Stark?
No, no.
same thing but yeah elon musk goes i'm gonna go on the oh i'm going out there I'm going on the factory floor.
I'm opening it up.
If the cops come, just take me.
Yeah.
It's like he was standing in front of Tesla, like standing like this.
He chained himself to a giant T logo now.
They have.
I don't know.
He's dangling up.
Yeah.
Take me.
Take me instead.
I like the idea that he would be able to squeeze his fist when the cops are coming and all of a sudden a giant, like a bunch of giant Elon Musk holograms just cover the whole place.
He had to find out which ones he was.
Yeah.
But they're like kaiju.
Oh, giant ones.
Yeah.
Yeah, we had a lot of ideas for what we were going to do with this story.
Yeah, there was a ton.
It was like a three-day conversation.
Yeah.
But we ended up doing this one.
Do you remember any other gun wounds?
Yeah, we did the Tony Stark thing.
He comes out in this homemade suit of armor and you just when he comes out of the cave.
Yeah.
Like the giant robot.
The total recall, the lady, when her head pops off and like lands in Arnold's arms and then like, oh no, she picks up her head and like it all opens up.
Oh, he's no.
I got this all messed up.
Arnold is inside the lady.
Her head opens up, throws the head.
The head lands in the guard's hands and says some snappy quip or something.
I'm ready for a surprise.
Can I tell you something very sad?
I've only ever seen the Total Recall remake.
I couldn't get through it.
I turned it off.
I thought it was fine.
It was just very generic and not generic sci-fi.
The old one is wonderfully 90s or 80s, whatever that time period had the Karelco, like very, like, they were very bold with their special effects.
You know, they're doing animatronic remakes of Arnold's head.
There's scenes where they go to Mars, and apparently, the effect Mars has on your head is like it just makes it explode slowly.
So, like, your eyes start bulging out in your head.
So, like, there's these awesome.
I imagine they're just vacuuming air outwardly into these like you know, $600,000 masks or heads they've created, however much that stuff costs in Hollywood.
And they're just like so, yeah, it's worth it.
You got to see it.
We'll do it.
We'll watch it.
I'm in the man cave.
I've read the short story.
I never have.
It's very good.
Is it Stephen King?
No.
I think it's Philip K. Dick.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
That's not Stephen King.
That's Stephen King to Running Man.
If there's a sci-fi movie, it's probably written by we should do Running Man as well, though.
Okay.
I'm down.
Which is the year of Running Man has passed.
So I think it was 2019.
All right, next story.
The Biden campaign has hired an interpreter to translate his speeches into normal human English.
So, Biden, good old Joe.
I never know what he's talking about.
I never know what he's talking about.
Because the other day, I don't think he does.
The other day he was saying, you know, 85,000 jobs lost.
Millions of Americans.
Millions of lives.
Millions.
Millions a lot.
Wait, yeah, he got the numbers flipped, right?
And then he just kept trying to.
It was like what we did with our millions of jobs lost.
85 something dead.
It's like when we tried to announce a schedule change the other day.
Yeah, it was bad.
They were like, Tuesday.
Wait, Wednesday.
No.
Ah.
The China episode.
But then we're not running for president.
So we're okay.
Yeah.
Yeah, that's rough.
We did find a the translator actually has like a kind of a thesaurus that tells her Frank says this listening through it.
Yeah.
So I'll say Joe Biden.
You tell say what he means.
Okay.
I can't do a good Joe Biden.
It burns when I pee.
Seniors on Medicare need affordable prescription drugs.
Hey, did you see the gams on that broad?
I am a bold fighter for women's health.
Also, did you see the games?
I don't know what a gam is.
I need to read these before we do them.
What are the gams?
I assumed it was like gums.
I don't know.
What's a gam?
It should be short for something.
Gam.
Okay, hold on.
Let's do this again.
Did you see the gams on that broad?
I am a bold fighter for women's health.
Also, did you see the gams on that broad?
He should have that like wild, scared look in his eye.
I need a nap.
I am a high-energy fighter who will work around the clock to help the little guy.
Can I please go home?
I'm in this for the long haul.
I'm in this for you.
This is your moment.
This is our moment.
God bless America.
And like inspiring, swelling music.
Put the applesauce pudding on the aardvark before Mima Edith drops firewood.
Good evening my fellow Americans.
We need a foreign policy characterized by smart diplomacy combined with firm leadership around the world.
American leadership backed by clear goals and sound strategies is necessary to effectively address the defining global challenges of our time.
In order to lead again, we must restore our credibility and influence.
Hey, you skipped the Matlock one.
I did.
Yeah.
The third one.
Can I have a warm glass of milk after I watch Matlock?
I will always put the priorities of the American people first.
So the whole speech without the translator would be, it burns when I pee.
Did you see the gams in that broad?
Can I have a warm glass of milk after I watch Matlock?
I need a nap.
Can I please go home?
Put the applesauce pudding on the art mark before me, Maida drops the fire.
And probably less embarrassing than some of his actual speeches.
Yeah.
So what are the chances this guy makes it to the convention?
Pretty good, right?
You think so?
It seems like it.
If Trump can win, at this point, anybody can win.
Like, I'm getting on with anything.
Biden's going to...
Remember that anyone...
I'm just saying physically, like, will he live...
Yeah, physically, will he live that long?
They've kept Ruth Bader Ginsburg alive this long.
They can do anything.
I don't know what they're using.
Some kind of hormone replacement or carbonite AI.
Because they have stuff that Elon Musk were talking about, he was on the Joe Rogan show saying that they got this AI stuff wire in your brain.
And he says in like five to ten years, we'll be able to communicate without moving our mouths.
We'll be able to just have conversations wiring up together or Bluetoothing each other's brains.
And which means they have prototypes of that stuff already they're working on if he said if he's that confident, which means, and they can fix, like, he said that they'll be able to fix like brain issues, you know.
If your arm doesn't work because of your brain, then it'll be like, oh, no, just do this arm.
And then the arm moves because of the thing.
And, you know, the thing.
You know, because the brain telling you thing.
And or like the Alzheimer's.
It'll be like, no, no, Alzheimer's.
Just do this.
And then the person will be like, normal.
Which would be good for people with Alzheimer's.
That was almost like an Alzheimer's commercial.
You were like, the Alzheimer's.
I always forget.
It's such a funny name, too.
Everybody thinks it means old timers when I was a kid.
Oh, really?
Old timers.
Got the old timers.
That almost works better.
So anyway, I'm saying is I think that they get those prototypes ahead of time.
They're working on them.
They sneak them into Ruth Bader Ginsburg's head, whether she knows it or not.
She probably knows.
I don't know.
And she is.
That's how they're keeping her alive.
Remote control.
Bluetooth.
You know what the show needs?
Weed.
You know?
I mean, have you ever had smoked weed?
No.
You're coming off as you're coming off very much like Alex Jones on the Joe Rogan show.
He has his own show.
He's not like a.
Yeah.
Anyway, I'm just trying to make it interesting.
I'm sorry.
Well, we're going to move on to a more somber note here.
Yeah.
Ravi Zacharias passed away this week.
Yeah, was it yesterday?
And yeah, we're going to.
Yesterday morning?
Yesterday morning's going to win this bro.
Who cares it won't be.
Yeah.
It was Tuesday morning.
Earlier this week, and we're going to give him a little tribute, listen to some Ravi stuff.
So let's do it.
Let's do it.
And now, the Babylon bees topic of the week.
Well, I feel a little inadequate discussing Ravi Zacharias.
I wasn't super close to following him and all that stuff.
I had read Jesus Among Other Gods in high school, and it moved me a lot.
One of the biggest things I got from it was his assertion of Jesus as absolute truth and as the only God because he talked about growing up in a culture where it was like there's gods everywhere.
Yeah, he grew up in the Hindu culture.
So got all sorts of gods.
And he talked about it like going in the grocery store and there's 10,000 canned goods option options of canned goods and you go, well, what's the difference one to another?
And he made these incredible claims about Jesus being, you know, it doesn't matter how many fake options are out there if there's the one true option.
And that was his, that's what I remember.
So I know you were more in tune with what he's been doing lately.
Kind of.
I mean, I've been a fan for like pretty much my entire walk with Christ.
You know, pretty much I may have talked before about the old guy I used to have breakfast with on Saturdays because Prayer Warrior guy.
He's the guy that introduced me to Robbie Zacharias.
So I read a few Robbie Zacharias books back then.
I've seen him in person before.
He did a thing with Dennis Prager one time.
Watched tons of his talks on YouTube.
I used to listen to his podcast constantly.
I think what makes him really stand out is it feels like in Christianity you have two kinds of thinkers.
You know, you have like the self-help inspirational thinker that's all feelings.
And then there's like the apologetics guy who's super like rational, you know, like a William Lane Craig, super rational guy.
And then you got like Rick Warren or something.
So you're saying you got the thinkers and the non-thinkers.
Yeah.
The brain users and the non-brainers.
The non-brain users.
Like the self-helpers, you know, like the Joel Osteen.
And it does, and the accusation of the apologetics guys is like that they're all mind and brain and things that, you know, the Lord is spirit.
He doesn't care about all that stuff or whatever.
There's all these arguments people make.
The fascinating thing about Robbie Zacharias is he's just as intellectual as all those guys, if not more than many of them.
But still, first and foremost for him is he's a he's very passionate and sincere and he speaks, he still speaks to your heart, even though he's doing apologetics.
He moves, he's moving.
Yeah, he struck me as very pastoral.
Yeah.
And not one of those guys that's just dumping a bunch of head knowledge on you.
Yeah.
They're trying to win a fight.
But he still works it in.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So we got a bunch of clips.
So I wouldn't even mind if we just played Robbie clips for this whole portion.
I know some of you guys have never heard of them, so this is going to be a really great introduction to him for you.
But yeah, I looked these clips up this morning.
Oh, and we should, just for the heck of it, we should read the Robbie story we did.
Yeah, so we wrote a story that Earth deemed unworthy of Robbie Zacharias.
Right.
No satire detected.
Yeah.
So I'll just read the story.
You're going to be able to make it?
You congratulate it.
I cried while writing it, and then this morning I looked up videos.
And it's weird.
I don't think I've ever cried over someone I've never met in person.
You know, and I've seen this in a lot of people.
He had a very personal, I think for a lot of people, Robbie was very, it felt like you knew him.
And everybody I've met, this is the only thing we haven't talked about.
We were going to have him on this podcast.
I was really, I couldn't have been more excited about any guest.
He wanted to be in person.
We had talked about it.
We were scheduled.
And then something happened.
There was the pastor guy in Southern California who committed suicide.
So he ended up going to that to help with that whole thing that happened when he was out here and he had to cancel on us.
So we had plans next time he was in California, or if we were ever able to get out that way, his neck of the woods, we were going to do it.
And he's a fan of the Babylon B.
And we did one story about him a while back, uppercutting a guy, an atheist.
Sure you can.
Sure you can, yes.
I always thought he was saying, sure you can.
Sure you can.
Sure you can.
Yeah, that's like a Rick Warren book.
Joel O'Son by Joel Olison.
Sure you can.
I keep being mean to Rick Warren.
We should be more mean to like Osteen and stuff, right?
Warren, you know, there's a spectrum, right?
Yeah.
Osteen's farther along.
Osteen's like, yeah, I'm trying to talk about people within the bounds.
Osteen's out of bounds, right?
As far as when I talk about it, he's outside the club for sure.
Like, you're still like, yeah, you're reading Warren, all right.
You're still you're accepting Warren into the club.
I guess.
He emailed us one time.
Oh, yeah.
Rick Warren did.
And then he was like, I'd love to talk to someone over there.
And we replied, and then he never replied.
Huh?
Rick Warren.
I know you're watching this podcast.
You probably hate us now.
He's up late at night and like, what is this Babylon Bee podcast?
All right, what's our first time?
All right, here's the story.
Earth.
Earth was deemed unworthy of Ravi Zacharias today as God took him to heaven, where many have been awaiting his arrival for years.
Listen, Earth, by God's grace, you got Ravi for 74 more years than you deserved.
He's ours now, said Galeos Adradriel, heaven's spokes angel.
Heaven's staff says they've been fielding requests to meet Ravi for all eternity.
There's a waiting list that goes on for miles.
He just got here.
He's already been giving out hugs and signing books for hours.
One staffer said.
There's a line going all the way around one of our largest cumulonimbus clouds.
Angelic contractors been working feverishly on his mansion since the day they received the news that he was headed their way.
He's going to love it.
We stenciled Chesterton and Muggeridge quotes in every room, head contractor Angel Baba Ziziel said.
Aziziel?
I'm just googling to just guessing angel names.
Yeah, then he has the AL at the end.
But if you are a Ravi fan, he quotes Muggeridge and Chesterton in just about every single time he talks.
Back on Earth, Christians.
This will be the hard part.
Christians are scurrying frantically in an attempt to figure out how they can fill the massive hole left by Ravi's absence.
From a scientific standpoint, the chasm he left cannot be filled, said one researcher.
I'm going to lose it.
The best we can do is to try our hardest to be the kind of Christians Robbie was.
Can you finish?
Oh, I don't have it pulled up.
There you go.
Try to be more.
A true beacon.
Try to be more manly, Ethan.
The best we can do is try our hardest to be the kind of Christians Robbie was.
A true beacon of humility and Christ's love, displaying wisdom, gravity, and endless joy.
Never throwing out insults and always ready to give an answer, not only with our words, but for our very lives, to be undeniable evidence of God's love and forgiveness.
So let's get to work.
Might be my first cry on the Babylon Bee non-subscriber.
I think I have cried on the subscriber before.
Do you need a hug?
After the show.
Dean, I think you need to come in and give Ethan a hug.
Want to do a clip?
He's watching me completely lose it.
I guess we can do a clip.
Let's do a Ravi clip.
I think this is an interest.
So this first one, I believe, is a tribute that I found.
It's just some clips put together of his words.
Through pain, through enduring pain, you can easily say, Lord, you've called me to travel.
You've called me to do this.
Why did you give me a body such as this?
I have learned what Annie Johnston Flint said.
He giveth more grace when the burdens grow greater.
He sendeth more strength when the labors increase.
To added affliction, he addeth his mercy.
To multiplied trials is multiplied peace.
When we have exhausted our store of endurance, when our strength has failed ere the day is half done, when we reach the end of our hoarded resources, our Father's forgiving has only begun.
His love has no limit.
His grace has no measure.
His power has no boundaries known unto men.
For out of his infinite riches in Jesus, he giveth and giveth and giveth again.
The church can preach all at once, but if it is a church that doesn't reach out and touch and feel and embrace and be charitable, it will miss the opportunity to be the hands of God and the hands of Christ in a very hurting world.
Christ offers to you and me eternal life with a quality beginning right now.
He shows you your heart.
He provides for you a cure for the malady.
He calls you into a relationship with God, making all things sacred for you.
He takes you through pain and sorrow and bereavement.
And he offers you hope.
Hope that is not just beyond the grave, but hope that is present even now.
Well, Ethan's going to be completely useless the rest of this time.
Now, I do find it interesting as a Christian because I know that, you know, our belief about where people go and that Robbie is, we joked about doing a story where Robbie is, you know, him and Chesterton have been in a big old manly bear hug for like ever pretty much since he got there.
And, you know, there's a joyfulness, but there is a sorrow.
And I think for me, it is like the deaths that get me the most are when the really good people die and leave behind that giant hole, you know.
Stupid.
No, that's great.
It was the same for me when my mentor died, the old guy, pancakes.
It was like, wow, he's gone now.
It had a big impact on my desire to take my faith seriously because I was at the time really not serious, you know.
Yeah, I find when people die that were important to you, it's like a, it's always a wake-up call for me, you know, just take a deep breath, step back and think about what your impact will be.
That's, that's kind of how it always is for me.
I think when I go, like, what's, you know, really all that I've, the only thing, only the things that I've done for the kingdom of God will have any eternal value, you know.
We tell dumb jokes on the internet, and that's great, you know, but yeah.
Yeah, it's amazing to see the impact that he's had on so many people.
I've seen other people.
I think the press secretary for the president or whatever, you know, you think that she's on TV all the time.
She's got to have some ability to control her emotions.
And she started to break up as she's talking about Robbie, you know.
And let's go to the next clip.
Somebody once asked me, what are going to be your first words when you see God?
I said, I'm going to be absolutely silent because I'll be terrified at what his words are first going to be to me.
I'm nowhere near concerned about what I'm going to say to him.
I am truly concerned about what he's going to say to me.
And if I were to hear from him the words, well done, what do you say?
The divine accolade that everyone longs for and dreams for.
There are emotionally satisfying answers as time goes by.
I've lived with a lot of pain with a broken back.
I have two titanium rods that are about eight inches long, four clamps, eight screws bolting me down.
I injured my back very badly.
There were times I'd be sitting in the front seat with a car pulling over my head on my steering wheel and crying.
The pain was so intense.
And you know what I found?
How much it has stopped me to depend on him every day to sustain me?
There are two things I need with this lifestyle.
A strong back and strong vocal cords, and I have neither.
And God has shown me that in my weakness is manifested his strength and how his healing hand even came through on my back after years and years of suffering.
There is an emotional satisfaction when I know that there is a cross, there is a hill called Calvary, there is a suffering savior, there is a relationship where he gives me comfort.
God does not conquer in spite of the dark mystery of evil.
He conquers through it.
He conquers through evil and pain and suffering and makes you the person he intended you to be through that.
Yeah, I think a big part of Robbie's message is kind of just how shocking the idea is that God is that personally invested in each one of us.
And it's something that's hard to grasp even as just culturally for us, you know, we think of ourselves as accidents of the universe, insignificant.
And it's like it's easy for us to think that way.
It's so far on the other end of the spectrum of thought to like to believe that God would care enough about you, just you, and that you were created with a purpose.
For some reason, we can't wrap our heads around that.
I think about someone like Robbie when he's got this message of that you will have suffering as a Christian.
Yeah.
You know, but in the end, it will all be redeemed for God's glory and for God's purposes.
And you contrast that with some of the prosperity gospel guys.
Right.
You know, whenever one of those prosperity gospel guys gets sick or falls ill, you know, or dies, it always, to me, it empties their message.
Like, well, what, you know, you've told us we could claim health and wealth and happiness.
And you're dead.
So you think about someone like Robbie where it's like the message he's been preaching.
He's like the anti-Hinn, like him and Benny Hinn, like they're like two different paths of an Indian guy shows up in America with the story of Jesus.
Although Hin was like Arabic, isn't he?
I just ruined it.
Oh, they are Arabic, aren't they?
That's what costs.
I always thought Hin was Indian.
He has that vague look where you can't really tell.
It just feels true.
So you don't think about it.
You think of Arabic just being Islamic.
It does feel like this mere image thing, this evil twin.
Yes, the weird evil twin.
We have one guy saying...
Middle Eastern, right?
No, that's Asia.
You're derailing.
God will give us blessing and health and wealth and happiness.
And we can claim it all.
And it's this message that sounds so good right now, but in the end of his life, it will prove empty.
And you have a guy like Robbie that's saying, we'll have suffering, we'll have pain, but we'll have Jesus.
And that's a much more fulfilling message when you actually die and leave that legacy behind.
Yeah, it's good.
Actually, let's do this.
If you can change the order down, let's do the testimony next because that kind of ties in what we're talking about.
When I was 17 years old, I would never have dreamed that I'd be standing here at the Mercedes-Benz Stadium in Atlanta some years from now, talking to over 60,000 youth live and many online.
Because at the age of 17, I was on a bed of suicide having attempted to take my own life.
And God, who's sovereign over the whole universe, Tapped the shoulder of one man who had come to India from Calgary, Alberta, and told him to send somebody into my hospital room with a Bible.
I'd never owned one.
I'd never opened one.
I didn't know if you told me what there were, there were four different gospels telling you the same story of Jesus.
And here the Bible is being read to me by my mother whose English was not that sharp and she's reading from the King James language and comes to the words of Jesus.
Because I live, you also shall live.
Until this day, now at the age of 73, 56 years later, I stand before and I say to you, why on earth did a sovereign God care enough to speak to somebody to come into that hospital room and speak to me?
The day you wake up and it dawns on you that you matter to God as an individual, that you never realize the dreams and the plans that he has for you and the fulfillment he can bring in and through you.
The majestic name that he holds is willing to indwell you.
Yeah, so it's on that idea.
I mean, hardly ever seemed to think that way, you know?
That the God of the universe is behind a thing like that, somebody coming to you, bringing you that message, reaching out to you.
And it's like it's poisoned to our lives to think the opposite of that.
You know, how insignificant we make ourselves thinking, you know, none of this is orchestrated.
It's all meaningless.
And yeah.
You're starting to sound like a Calvinist over there, bro.
Yeah, no, there's definitely this orchestration of everything that happens.
And it's crazy to think about.
Because you can look at everything that's happened in your life and you could.
That's the amazing thing when I think about all the dumb decisions I almost made, you know, like 10 years ago or 5 years ago or 15 years ago.
Yeah.
And I look back or things that even things that went wrong, you know, and I look everything that kind of weaved me in this direction where I am today.
Yeah, and how God works through the bad things that happen.
And even when you made a big, big mistake, God works through those.
And every time you're ready to come back, you know.
Yeah.
These next two are about meaninglessness.
And he's got a lot to say on the idea of meaning and meaninglessness.
So let's dive into that.
The cancer of our time can be described in one word.
Meaninglessness.
Meaninglessness.
You talk to an average young person today.
How many sexual trysts do they really want to find fulfillment?
How much money in the bank do they really want to find fulfillment?
The loneliest people in the world I have found have been the most indulgent ones who've come away totally empty.
As Chesterton said, meaninglessness does not come from being weary of pain.
Meaninglessness comes from being weary of pleasure.
Meaninglessness does not come from being weary of pain.
Meaninglessness comes from being weary of pleasure.
Skeptics often tell me that it's the problem of pain that keeps them from believing in God.
May I suggest to you, it's the problem of pleasure that keeps me from being totally secular.
Been there, done that, tried this.
It simply doesn't work.
I recall when I was doing a Bible study with the Atlanta Braves when they were playing the St. Louis Cardinals, sort of 10, 12 minutes each of the chapels.
And I walked in there and I closed with this.
I said to them, you know, fellas, there's nothing like walking into a room and being the only one who fails the physical.
I said, I looked at your boys, muscles bulging like watermelons, and I walk in here.
I'll never forget the line of my wife once when I gave her a nice good hug.
She smiled, hugged me back, and said, you know what?
You have the arms of a thinking man.
I burst out laughing.
She, yes, yes.
And she said, I didn't mean it.
I didn't mean that in a bad way.
I didn't mean that.
Oh, what a compliment.
What a compliment.
I said, I'll do my best to make these the arms of a non-thinking man.
So I said, guys, I can't talk to you about baseball.
You guys hit a ball long before I know it's even come.
So I'm not going to talk to you about that.
I said, here's what I want to talk to you about.
How to live your life on the road, because I've probably lived that longer than any one of you sitting in front of me.
They leaned forward and started to listen.
One of the most notable players from one of the teams, multi-million dollar contract, walks up towards me and he puts his hand on the back of my neck like this and then puts his head on my shoulder and starts to sob.
And my travel assistant, knowing it was a very precious moment for him, just walked away into the distance and he looked at me and he said, Ravi, I have more money than I ever thought I'd have.
But I want to tell you I've lost everything of real value in my life.
I wish I'd applied the principles you gave us today long before.
Are we on the highway to abandonment with pleasure without principle, pleasure without boundaries?
Think about it.
Think about it.
You can't have everything.
You can't.
Meaninglessness is the plague of an average university student around the globe today.
I could find better ways to make a living than what I'm doing.
But this is a calling.
This is a conviction.
And I will tell you, I have seen lives transformed who've taken that path and turned away from complete hedonistic paths to a life that builds its moral boundaries with the revelation of God himself.
Yeah, we live in a culture that seeks meaning and in pleasure, seeks meaning outside of ourselves.
It never dawns on us that the meaning is already right there inside of us, that we are the meaning, that God made us to be meaningfully.
And it's the hardest thing to buy into.
I mean, like, to choose not to go down all the pleasure paths that there are offered to you in this life requires.
I don't even know how I chose not to go down every single one.
I mean, you know.
Yeah, it's like St. Augustine said, you know, our hearts are restless until we find our rest in you.
That's always how I feel.
It's like whenever I get stressed or anxious and I get pulled away and try, you know, whatever, it's like, this will make me happy or that won't make me happy.
It just doesn't.
There's a real meaning in Christ.
Yeah, the thing that's always amazing about Ravi Zacharias is he could have been a televangelist, prosperity gospel guy.
I don't know how he lived.
I have no idea.
I've never been to his house or anything.
I don't know if he's got a hot tub in every room or anything like that.
Does he have a duster?
He has his own personal duster.
That will be on the Benny Hinn has a duster, we found out.
Just a little duster.
He's a man who dusts.
We got the behind the scenes scoop.
A man duster.
An organic duster.
Male duster.
So, yeah.
I mean, he comes off as, and everybody I've talked to has met him.
Very real.
I'm not crying.
I'm burping Chick-fil-A right now.
You don't get that.
He could have headed down all the paths of all these pleasures and he didn't.
And most people in his position would.
I find that very fascinating about him.
Even down the path of just kind of soaking up the admiration.
Like, you just don't get the sense that that's what he does.
And he'll talk about that in some of these other clips.
I don't know if we'll do some of these in the subscriber portion too or how we're going to do this.
But we can do, let's just do one more of these here and we can do the other ones in the subscriber portion.
So he has another one on meaninglessness, right?
When he says life has absolutely no meaning, it's like a twig flowing on the sea of nothingness or something.
You ask him if that definition is meaningful.
If the statement is meaningful.
You see, it is not possible to debunk meaning while making a meaningful statement about life itself.
I said to a student at the University of the Philippines in Manila who stood up at the end of one of my talk and shouted out and said, ah, everything in life is meaningless.
I said, you don't believe that.
He said, I do.
I said, no, you don't.
He said, yes, I do.
I said, you don't.
He said, who are you to tell me I don't?
I said, stand up and say it again.
He said, everything in life is meaningless.
I said, I assume that you assume that what you just said was meaningful.
And if what you've just said was meaningful, then everything is not meaningless.
On the other hand, if everything is meaningless, then what you've just said is meaningless too.
You basically said nothing.
You can sit down.
You know, you hate to do that, Jim.
You hate to do that because you're not trying to put somebody down.
But imagine a man of ghoul's intellectual capacity spending all of his life at one of the most prestigious universities in the world while life is meaningless.
It just tells you, what is this all about then?
Why do I have to make sense then?
Why does he ask me to defend Christianity?
If life is meaningless, why should my philosophy be meaningful?
Yeah.
What I love about that is that is totally like a Ben Shapiro own.
But then after he's like, you hate to do that.
Like, I don't have the people like that.
You hate to see it.
Yeah, you hate to see it.
What a great sense of humor, too.
Yeah.
No, I love that.
And just that.
I mean, it's so clear.
And it makes so much sense.
You know, you think about it.
Just the statement, life is meaningless is attempting to be a meaningful statement.
You can't say, you know, there's nothing to say life is meaningless itself cancels itself out.
Only a Sith deals in absolutes.
Even your Star Wars.
Hey, you got the franchise right at least.
I'm becoming indoctrinated.
So, yeah, I think we lost a good one.
Yeah.
I mean, I don't know.
I've never been, it'd be interesting to have a theological discussion about heaven sometime.
I haven't really, I mean, everybody kind of just says, yeah, we'll see him again in heaven.
I don't know how it works.
Will we remember each other?
How will we recognize each other?
Will we look the same?
I don't know how it works, but if it works the way a lot of people say, then I'll get to have my eternal conversation with Robbie Zachariah at some point.
For now.
And you're going to.
Everybody has to do a little after I'm done crying for the next three weeks.
We all, everyone needs to be a little better, and we got a big empty hole to fill in now that Robbie's gone.
Yeah, you're going to hog Chesterton and Robbie from the rest of us when you get down.
Yeah.
Like, has anybody seen Chesterton of the last century?
He's like, okay, shout out.
There's a knock.
Quit knocking.
We got all eternity in here.
But he's going to be trying to get away from you.
Chesterton and Robbie.
It's very good.
Yeah.
I shouldn't do the accent.
I know what heaven's going to be like.
Okay.
Some Star Wars reference.
And as he spoke, he no longer looked to them like a lion.
But the things that began to happen after that were so great and beautiful that I cannot write them.
And for us, this is the end of all the stories.
And we can most truly say that they all lived happily ever after.
But for them, it was only the beginning of the real story.
All their life in this world and all their adventures in Narnia had only been the cover and the title page.
Now, at last, they were beginning chapter one of the great story, which no one on earth has read, which goes on forever, in which every chapter is better than the one before.
Revelation 7.
Revelation 22.
Okay.
Can't get through that without crying when I read it to my kids.
Yeah.
This is the crying episode.
I wanted to try to cry too.
Oh.
So I could appear human.
But I'm just a bunch of poodles in a human suit as we're about to find out.
That's what we're getting to.
Hate me all time.
I really miss Adam Ford.
All right, so I'll read the comment because I felt bad for you when he wrote this.
Okay, so this is a YouTube comment.
We're getting YouTube comments on our appearance now.
The people, I mean, it's okay, YouTube.
You guys can make fun of you being fat.
Nobody's done it yet.
I'm waiting for it.
So bring it on.
I wouldn't invite YouTube commenters.
Bring it on, YouTube.
Whoa.
This guy's name is J, the letter J. Hopefully, it's not Jesus.
Whoa, Kyle looks like a bunch of poodles, inhabited a human suit and tried to operate it.
I don't understand why his movements are so alien.
There's an old ellipse there.
Oh, alien and jerky and weird.
Does this guy know that's a weird analogy?
Oh, I kind of respect it.
I don't know what you're talking about.
I am a human.
You do have it like when you're processing a thought, you kind of like you're talking.
You're like, I kind of do some weird faces.
Yeah, you're like facing him.
Like a little, like you're biting into your or I'll do this.
Yeah.
Yeah, I don't know.
I always thought he was like kind of like way cool.
Because I didn't realize when I met you, I thought you were like a southern guy.
I thought you were like from like Georgia or something.
What?
I don't know.
You had this like southern gentleman I'm thinking about.
You're like, hi, you know, like beard, you had leather jacket on, I think, and or whatever it was.
You had boots on.
You look kind of, I don't know why.
And then when I realized that you were from, yeah, you just had like the kind of a masculine thing going on.
And then I realized as I got to know you, it's like, oh no, this guy's a total nerd.
Isn't that masculine?
Can we get a Photoshop of a bunch of poodles operating a Kyle suit?
Like a lot of work.
I could do a really bad Photoshop.
So yeah.
Sorry, sorry they hurt you like this, Kyle.
Most people have said, like, I think the most nose bothers you just notice.
It's bad this show.
Is thinking about Kyle right now.
Stop it.
The number one comment we get about our appearances, you are nothing like we pictured.
Yeah, okay, that's what I want.
And I don't remember what that is.
So I want you to, if you are a person who thinks we're nothing like what you pictured, I want you to comment, this is who I pictured Ethan look like, and put a picture of somebody.
Like, find, just Google humans and find one that look closer.
Just go and know what my voice sounds like.
Just go and Google and type in human.
Human.
That's how that works.
Random humans.
You go to Shutterstock or something.
Well, if they're thinking of a specific actor, except that they could pull to man.
Yeah, I could pick an actor, yeah.
That they thought we looked like.
But purely based on our voices.
I wonder what people thought.
Yeah, we'd like to know.
There's only one guy that thought I sounded like a bodybuilder or something, which is weird because my voice cracks.
You would think.
No, no.
Fat, fat, weird guy with hair, hairy face.
All right, Kyle, is that the end of this episode?
I think it is.
We did it.
We did another one.
We survived.
That was tough.
That was tough.
I thought I had gotten all my tears out on the Robbie thing this morning and it just kind of came back.
All right.
Yeah.
All right.
Bye.
Next week.
Next week.
Do you salute?
Is that how you salute?
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Adam Ford for creating their job.
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The subscribers and you, the listener.
Until next time, this is Dave D'Andrea, the voice of the Babylon Bee, reminding you to go forth and punch Satan repeatedly in the ribs.
So the whole speech without the translator would be, it burns when I pee.
Did you see the gams in that, Broad?
Can I have a warm glass of milk after I watch Matt Lock?