In this episode of The Babylon Bee podcast, editor-in-chief Kyle Mann and creative director Ethan Nicolle talk about the biggest stories of the week like New York City Mayor de Blasio calling on everyone to be a KAREN, a woman is wanting everyone to affirm her relationship with a chandelier, and the certain future of chain-smoking monkeys taking over the world. Kyle and Ethan then get Hans Fiene of Lutheran Satire wound up about various things in Christian culture. In the subscriber portion, subscribers get to hear the rest of the Hans Fiene interview and Kyle and Ethan go to the mailbag. Send your emails to podcast@babylonbee.com and maybe we will answer you in our next Mailbag segment! If you are hurting financially right now, check out our $100,000 COVID relief fund set up by Seth Dillon which you can find out more about by contacting us at our website. If you need financial help contact us! Also donate if you are able to chip in to help! Pre-order the new Babylon Bee Best-Of Coffee Table Book coming in 2020! Show Outline Introduction - Kyle and Ethan talk about the latest Babylon Bee podcast which happened to have been the latest Audio Mullet episode. Stuff That's Good - Kyle: W.A Criswell's sermon Whether We Live Or Die Ethan: Garlic Reaper Hot Sauce Weird news California woman dreamed about eating engagement ring — woke up to find she really did Rusty knife embedded in man's head for 26 years after being mugged Woman dating a chandelier has discrimination case thrown out According to DISRN: A British woman who claims to be in a long-term relationship with a 92-year-old chandelier was told that her attraction to the light fixture is not a protected sexual orientation. Novelty toilet roll cakes keep Finnish baker in business Man opens up corroded can of Spider-Man pasta from 1995 after getting 1995 retweets. Monkeys and Apes chain smoking cigaretts as coronavirus panic grips planet Monkey caught on camera flying kite on rooftop Woman dating a chandelier has discrimination case thrown out Pensioner thrown from fighter jet after accidentally pulling ejector lever mid-flight Missouri Sues Televangelist Jim Bakker For Selling Fake Coronavirus Cure Coronavirus: Police raid closed Liverpool comedy club after live-stream mix-up Stories of the Week Story 1 - De Blasio Announces System For Reporting Social Distancing Violations: Knowledgeable Actors Reporting Edict Noncompliance (KAREN) At a press conference this morning, New York City Mayor Bill de Blasio unveiled a new way that individual citizens can help enforce social distancing: a.new enforcement program called the Knowledgeable Actors Reporting Edict Noncompliance, or KAREN for short." According to DISRN: De Blasio encourages New Yorkers to snap photos of people not social distancing and text to authorities: "Enforcement will come right away" Story 2 - Trump Announces America's Grand Reopening Sale President Trump has announced that America will be reopening soon, and the occasion will be celebrated with an "insane" "once-in-a-lifetime" Grand Reopening Sale. The grand reopening extravaganza will include 50% off all landmarks and monuments, in a bid to make back some of the trillions lost during the recession. Story 3 - Dems Rush To Defend Kavanaugh After He Puts On Joe Biden Mask Democrats are scrambling to defend Brett Kavanaugh against his accusers after he put on a Joe Biden mask. According to DISRN: Just last Thursday we pointed out that more than three weeks after Reade's serious public accusation, CNN still had ZERO articles on their website mentioning her name. Not one. Despite 700 articles mentioning Brett Kavanaugh's debunked accuser, Christine Blasey Ford. CNN finally ran this headline: Democrats grapple with questions about Tara Reade's sexual assault allegation against Joe Biden Interview of the Week - Hans Fiene of Lutheran Satire. Love Mail/Hate Mail- We get two this week. Rich hates the character limit on our contact form. He had so much more to say about us and our $100,000 COVID relief fund set up by Seth Dillon which you can find out more about by contacting us at our website. If you need financial help contact us! Also donate if you are able to chip in to help! We aren't sure what we did to anger the second person. Paid-subscriber portion The rest of the Hans Fiene interview! Mailbag! Subscribers, please send you emails to our mailbag at podcast@babylonbee.com so Kyle and Ethan can answer your questions or talk about the things you want to hear about. Become a paid subscriber at https://babylonbee.com/plans
In a world of fake news, this is news you can trust.
Covering our bodies in Chick-fil-A sauce so the predators of secular culture can't see us.
You're listening to the Babylon Bee with your hosts, Kyle Mann and Ethan Nicole.
Hello, everybody.
Welcome to the Babylon Bee podcast.
We're currently here caked in Chick-fil-A sauce.
So the Predators of Culture Can't See Us.
Oh, man, I forget that I read.
I write, like, I write those one afternoon at a Chick-fil-A-A, at a cigar shop back when they were open, and I could go to the cigar shop.
But yeah, so I forget completely about them, and then I don't think you've heard them.
And then you just hear Dave saying them.
That's just great.
So there's a...
That's from Predator.
He covers himself in mud just to make sure.
I don't know if he's seen it or not.
I saw it later in life, but I've seen it.
I remember, yeah, you were like, I've seen one of those Arnold movies.
I think it was like Predator Twins or something.
No, it was.
What's the chopper?
They all blur together.
What's the chopper one?
Get to the dude to chopper.
I'm pretty sure that's Predator, but yeah, I think that's Predator because at the end he needs to get to the chopper.
Oh, what's the other one?
There was another Command.
I love Commando.
Commando.
That's the one I.
I want to have Commando Man Knight.
I think that's the one I asked you.
I said, is that the same thing?
And you're like, no, that's the same thing.
Yeah, Predator.
I wanted to slap you.
You did show me that glorious 80s movie.
What was it?
Deadly Prey.
Diddly Prey.
With the Mystery Science or the Rift Tracks.
Riftracks, guys.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Fantastic.
So there's smoke in the air right now.
And we're playing Hacky Sack.
And there's reggae music playing all around us because it's 4:20.
Oh, yeah, forgot.
Hitler's birthday.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But he's canceled.
Yeah, that's right.
And rightfully so, just to be clear.
He had it coming.
Yeah.
He asked for it.
He did ask for that.
That's one of the few times I'm all for cancel culture.
But no, the only thing I get high on is GOD.
So we, this is a Bob.
This is a Bob, a Bobby Lin Babylon B podcast.
Oh, yeah.
Speaking of being on something.
And you might have enjoyed the last episode of this podcast.
Or not.
Where all of a sudden you heard a crazy old guy ranting.
The wrong podcast.
And it was the entire wrong podcast.
Because Ethan decided that he would try to promote his other podcast, Audio Mullet by accidentally uploading it to the Babylon B feed.
So people in the behind the scenes, we use the same company to upload Babylon B podcasts and my podcast, which is called Audio Mullet, audio mullet.com.
And so I almost never signed into the Babylon B account anymore because Dan took that over.
But I recently, I forgot I recently had signed in.
So when I was on autopilot on Saturday uploading the Audio Mullet podcast, I didn't realize I was signed into the Babylon B account.
So it got sent out to everybody.
Not only that, it was actually a pretty bad episode because we were having connection issues.
So Doug, who has been on the show before, Doug Tony Blue, Creative Earthworm Jim, he gets very passionate about certain topics, almost everything he talks about, actually.
It was him ranting.
And the other thing, my apology, is that we don't flowerbed in that show.
Now, I don't think he swore technically, but he did say some off-color stuff because he's very upset about this lockdown.
So he went wild.
It also was out of sync.
There's a part where it went really badly out of sync because of a bad interconnection.
So it's not a great representation of the show either.
So I didn't do myself any favors, I don't think.
But I like to think that if people went onto their Babylon B podcast said, oh, a new episode, and they clicked on it, they would just be like, they'd be very confused, right?
I guess it's not that.
Well, but I like to think that after about a minute or two, they would go, oh, this is figure it out.
I mean, it has like one angry email.
I've only seen one so far.
Different theme music.
Different theme music.
I'm on there, but I'm not.
So you say, like, welcome to the audio mullet.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Okay.
That's a great theme song.
Maybe it is confusing that you're.
I think it's confusing that I'm on it.
Like, oh, maybe this is like an alternative thing.
So I guess it would be more confusing if it was completely different.
They'd think they then think it was Apple's fault.
Anyway, I apologize for people that got that episode.
I'll try not to do that again.
But this podcast is not audio mold.
This is the Babylon Bee podcast.
Right.
We tell you about cool things.
We read weird news to you.
We do Babylon Bee stories so that you can be informed.
You get to be informed through mockery and derision and scoffing.
And sarcasm, just like Jesus taught.
Exactly.
And then we are going to talk with Hans Fienn.
I think that's what we settled on for the pronunciation of his name.
Fein.
What do you think Fein?
Let's make a bet.
That's a wager.
Fine.
That's a wager.
I wager 12 shekels.
I wager one syllable, you wager two.
Okay.
You have to bet money, though.
You can't bet syllable.
Shekels?
I'm betting shekels.
Okay.
I wager drachma.
I don't know what that's something.
Yeah, that's a hero or something, right?
Like Roman or maybe drachma.
Yeah.
Sounds like a heavy metal band.
Yeah, or like a really bad cough.
I got the drachma.
I got the drachma pop.
What's next?
So, oh, and then yeah, we're going to talk to him and then we do hey mail and that's the end of our yeah, let's do it.
Are we ready?
Yeah, I'm ready.
Okay.
But now, this week's edition of stuff that's good.
Oh, man.
This is a fantastic stuff that's good because I'm offering something that's very on-brand for the Babylon B, and that's a sermon.
Okay.
And then Ethan's recommending something previewing everything.
And then Ethan's recommending something that is not on-brand.
I'm just looking at the notes here, and it's very funny.
There's nothing for yours.
No, I know, but I already know what it is.
I'm going to recommend a sermon that was preached in 1985 by W.A. Criswell.
Teacher's Pet?
Yeah.
Jesus' Teacher's Pet.
That's right.
I get extra credit.
Okay.
I don't know.
Do you get whatever.
And this is a sermon called Whether We Live or Die.
And you can find it at wa Criswell.com.
So the SBC had this downgrade controversy where liberalism and the idea that the Bible was maybe inerrant was starting to creep into the seminaries and there was a big debate.
The Bible is maybe inerrant?
That the Bible maybe was not inerrant.
Okay.
Was errant.
I always thought they mostly thought it was not, inerrant.
Maybe.
Can we get that in slow motion?
Just helping you not.
Well, every two knots cancel out.
So anyway, so they were so they were in the middle of this controversy and at the annual Southern Baptist Convention, W.A. Criswell preached this like amazing sermon.
And it's very Southern Baptist preachery.
And in all my life, I have not seen any downgrade quite like this one.
He sounds like that.
Yeah.
And it's great.
And I used to listen to it like, I don't know, weekly.
So it's like a sermon that a serial killer would be listening to in a Hollywood movie because that's like, they always have to be listening to like a pastor or something.
Yeah.
And clearly they've never actually listened to a sermon before, whoever wrote it.
So it's like that.
Okay.
And he basically goes through how the Baptists in England went through the same controversy.
And eventually they closed their doors.
They closed all their seminaries.
They closed all their schools because they subscribed to this idea that the Bible had errors in it.
So he encourages everybody, and he goes through Spurgeon's life.
It's more of a lecture than like a verse-by-verse sermon.
But at the end, he's like pounding the pulpit, and you can hear everybody cheering at the rioting.
So they end up voting to, you know, basically to go in the direction to include inerrancy as part of the SPC.
So a lot of people think this conference and specifically this sermon was the hinge that saved the Southern Baptist Convention from going into liberalism and irrelevancy.
Sounds good.
Well, I'm going to recommend a bottle of hot sauce.
So I do watch, there's a very popular show on YouTube.
I'm sure most of you guys have heard of the Hot Ones.
First We Feast.
They interview celebrities and they eat varying degrees of hotter and hotter hot wings with different hot sauces on them.
I was inspired to try some of these hot sauces and I like spicy food.
So if you like spicy food, you will like this.
If you don't, you're going to hate it.
But there's a sauce called the Garlic Reaper hot sauce.
That's because it's made from lots of garlic.
It's very garlicky.
And Carolina Reaper, which is the hottest pepper in the world.
And it's hot.
I will tell you that.
But if you've ever seen that show, they have a hot sauce called Dabalm, which is the one that almost everybody loses their mind when they eat it.
It's just under the Debalm.
So it's like right before you die.
So anyway, it's kind of a creamy yellowish color.
It's not like you're normal.
It's got like this, I don't know.
Garlic.
Garlicky.
Yeah, it's very garlic.
Like, I have this issue where I, one of my mottos, which I got from my father, is that you can't put too much garlic in your cooking.
By that, I mean, like, you literally cannot.
You can put an entire multiple bulbs of garlic in, and it's going to be good.
You can put a whole garlic tree in.
Yeah.
You could just eat pure garlic.
Yeah.
So we should do a recipes episode sometime or something.
Now we're going to be doing video.
We could do like a cooking episode.
That would be awesome.
Anyway, so that's it.
Speaking of cooking, we got our lunch almost here.
Ooh, nice.
So there will probably be a gap that you guys won't hear where we're eating lunch.
Yeah, because we don't want to eat into your ear holes.
That'd be gross.
All right.
Well, we'll see you guys when we start doing the news.
Weird news.
We're going on a weird news.
This has been stuff that's good.
That's worse than our hate meal sound effect.
And I could say that because it was me proposing a okay, so weird news is what I said there.
First before that, I said that was my sound effect for weirdness.
It's very weird.
But mission accomplished.
We need a good title for this segment.
If anybody else, if you guys got ideas for titles, email podcast at Babylonbee.com.
We need something more clever.
Strange news.
Strange occurrences.
There you go.
Strange occurrences.
Oddball takes.
Oddball news.
Bizarre happenings.
What's like you take headlines, but what rhymes with head that's funny?
That's funny.
Yeah, like dread.
Dreadline.
Head.
Headlines.
I don't know.
So we got some weird news for you.
First one, California woman dreamed about eating engagement ring.
She woke up to find she actually did.
How do you verify a story like this?
Like this woman.
It's on the news.
Like she calls up NBC News.
It's not on an onion.
So I like how this dream about eating my engagement.
How do you went to the hospital?
Yeah, that's a good question.
How do you become totally eating it?
She says in her dream that she's being chased by some bad guys on a train and she had to protect the ring.
And she's like, you ain't getting this ring.
She likes drank a cup of water and swallowed it in front of him.
Have you ever had a dream where you did a thing in the dream and then you did it in real life?
Yeah, like a motion, maybe, but not like something really complicated.
Like, I'm going to pull an engagement ring off my finger and then eat it.
Have you peed?
Not in my adult life.
Yeah, I think I was probably the last time I did that.
I think it was probably junior high or something.
Something happened.
Yeah, sure.
You dream you're in the bathroom, you're going, and then you wake up.
It's happening.
I remember I would dream I was on a roller coaster.
There's a term, a medical term for these, where you're like lying down and it's like falling feeling just when you're dozing off, and then you go, you freak out yeah, you do this, and then you wake up and you're like oh, what happened?
Yeah, because you like throw your arms in the air.
I've had that.
But no, i've never eaten my engagement ring me either.
Yeah, mine would be.
I'd probably die.
Do you have your Og wedding ring still?
Yeah cool, big old thing.
I have gained like 50 pounds since I got married.
Huh, same wedding ring.
It still fits, I think my, my skin just grows around it like it's like a tree, if you, if it grows into a fence or something.
I'm about the same size I was.
Now I lost like almost 100 pounds or part of my, and so I had to like put these little things in the ring to keep it on from falling off when I got skinnier and then I fit back into it now.
So next story, rusty knife embedded in man's head for 26 years after being mugged.
Do I get to read any of these?
Oh yeah sorry, I was just trying to keep moving.
So yeah, rusty knife was stuck in his head for 26 years.
So did he not know?
Oh, he did.
He probably just didn't know what to do.
I don't know, maybe he's.
Uh, the knife had been kept in his head because it was believed to pose a threat to his life if he had to remove.
So they're afraid his brain would like yeah, fall out.
We just had lunch so i'm trying not to.
Uh, we're all burping and stuff.
My digestive fluids are working hard.
Wasn't there that guy that got impaled with rebar or something and he had it stuck in him for a long time and they couldn't, you know, he just lived with it.
I don't know, I don't know.
That one uh, that was like oh uh, Phineas Gage was an American railroad construction foreman, because he had the improbable survival of an accident in which a large iron rod was completely driven through his head.
Wow, his head yeah, and just stuck.
And he lived and he lived and it was just stuck, it was sticking out of his head supposedly.
That's a way better story than this, but this happened recently.
I mean, this attack happened in night when I was 14, in 1994 this was 1800s.
Oh wow, I mean, maybe it didn't stand there, maybe they took it out, but the deal, he got stabbed in the head, like completely through his head.
They pulled it out and did somebody.
Was it an accident?
I'm sure it was an accident.
Or was it a big guy?
Yeah, he was a railroad construction foreman, so I think it happened on the job.
Say yes, a lot of stuff happens on those railroads.
Yeah, i've been working on the railroad.
It's a dangerous, dangerous profession.
Land track uh okay, you read the next one, woman dating a chandelier has discrimination case thrown out.
So Discern uh oh, Discern.
Did this one, according to discern i'm sure they're Referencing another say, but Discern is brief.
Very brief.
Smart and faithful.
Brief, smart.
Way you do it.
Brief, smart, and faithful.
Discern.
That's our theme song.
We're trying to pitch it to him.
Adam hasn't gone for it so far.
A British woman who claims to be in a long-term relationship with a 92-year-old chandelier was told that her attraction to the light fixture is not a protected sexual orientation.
Wait, and how old is she?
I don't think she's 92.
Yeah, that's disgusting.
I mean, the ageism, the age difference there is really big age gap.
So I think she's kind of a gold digger.
The 92-year-old chandelier.
It's obviously not its looks.
It's all the diamonds hanging from it.
Discern is so brief that they don't tell me how old she is.
Yeah, you got to click on the older.
So the picture, she looks, I don't know, maybe 20-something.
And she's making out with that chandelier.
She's not making out in the picture.
In the picture I'm looking at, she's got her lips on it.
Amanda Liberty.
That's her name.
It's a good name.
It's a good name for someone who wants to be a little bit more.
She's in a relationship with her chandelier.
Marry a chandelier.
I want to find the quote.
She said something.
I don't know if this is the original.
Oh, yeah.
She has spoken out about her unusual love story in the media previously saying she planned to have a commitment ceremony to Lemire to show that my love is going to last.
What's their song, I wonder?
Lemire.
I love that its name is Lemire.
Did she name it?
That's a woman's dream, right?
That she not only gets to marry somebody who's totally compliant and has good fashion sense, like a chandelier, but you get to name it's yeah, my wife would have been happier to name me, I think, than to have the name I was given.
Probably you light up my life.
That was too easy.
Candle in the wind.
Oh, that's about dying.
Never mind.
But yeah, you light up my life.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So another story that happened since Ethan did two in a row.
Okay.
Fair's fair.
Turn about is fair play.
My, my, my, how the turntables novelty toilet roll cakes keep finished baker in business.
Cakes that look exactly like rolls of toilet paper are being displayed at Rontosirova Bakery as the spread of the COVID-19 continues.
He's just making toilet paper cakes.
They're not made out of toilet paper.
Sad.
That's not weird enough.
Yeah, that's true.
He's trying to be funny.
I don't see what you know.
I don't like people trying to be funny accidentally.
For instance, this next one.
This is all funny.
Oh, you know, this guy's trying to be funny, too.
Man opens up corroded can of Spider-Man pasta from 1995 after getting 1995, 1,995 retweets.
So it's like a 20-year-old, 20-something-year-old can of pasta.
What I'm getting from this is just that people are very bored right now.
Very bored.
Marrying chandeliers.
I want to know if he ate it.
We're marrying chandeliers.
We're making toilet paper cakes.
Our pets' heads are falling off.
Hmm.
Okay.
Monkeys and apes, chain-smoking cigarettes, as coronavirus panic grips planet.
They all are.
Struts.
They're stressed out.
Primates have taken to chain-smoking cigarettes.
Where do they get these cigarettes, though?
It's like a prison, right?
Because they're in a zoo or whatever.
It's like a prison.
Oh, they're at a zoo?
I assume so.
It's just weird.
Everybody's inside, and the monkeys have somehow found it.
Maybe they have a stash.
They're all smoking.
There's another monkey one, monkey caught on camera flying kite on rooftop.
The monkeys are making the best of this coronavirus pandemic.
Yeah.
I want to know the backstory, though.
Like, did these monkeys steal kites and cigarettes?
Or do they have their own factories?
In the U.S. prison system, cigarettes are the currency, right?
Right.
From what I've been told.
So I assume in monkey prison, which is a zoo, it's feces.
So they're smoking feces.
No, it's just that's the that's what they trade with.
So when they want cigarettes, they have to bribe the other monkeys.
But I assume the only person can get them cigarettes would be a zookeeper or something that's the monkey's little crooked zookeeper.
Yeah, crooked zookeeper.
So he trades a handful of feces.
So he's got a weird, he's got some weird stuff going on if that's what he's into.
And then, like, I assume wild monkeys can come visit.
There's a visitation rights.
Okay.
So they come and then, like, when they're in a little room, they pass it.
They pass it over.
King Conjugal visits.
Wait, can we say that?
Can I say that?
King Conjugal.
King Conjugal.
Pensioner thrown from Fighter Jet after accidentally pulling ejector lever mid-fighter.
Apparently, this guy was a lot of money.
I'm going to click on it.
This is funny.
Me and Dan were reading this.
It's horrifying.
He apparently paid a bunch of money to go on this fighter jet.
Super expensive.
He's 64 years old.
He's a Frenchman, which is even funnier because then he goes flying out.
He's like, he made a French noise.
So he's just like, you know what?
I'm old and I'm going to go on a fighter jet.
Yeah.
You know, Raphael B at an airbase in anyway, trying to find the best.
So apparently he was shooting up in the ascension, you know, going up really fast.
And he was holding on for dear life because I guess, you know, the G-force in this thing is intense.
He doesn't realize.
And there's a pilot.
He's not the pilot.
He's just like co-pilot.
You know, he's along for the ride.
Right, right.
He doesn't realize the thing he's ripping to hold himself down like he's like kind of scared.
Is he pulling the ejector cord or whatever?
Whatever you pull, a lever.
And he just shot up out of the plane.
I guess he just.
This is like a Looney Tunes gag.
Yeah, totally Looney Tunes guy.
An airplane gag or something.
So did he die?
We were trying to find that.
There is a picture.
Did the parachute of him coming down in a parachute?
So the parachute went off.
Yeah, okay.
Yeah, so it doesn't say if he got hurt or died.
So I'm really sorry if he died.
We're not laughing at that.
But because a lot of things that happen to Looney Tunes, people would die.
But apparently the pilot was supposed to get ejected also.
Was that your professional medical opinion on Looney Tunes?
Yeah.
That was delayed.
Do you know if we said it so dry?
Wait a minute.
Back up.
You're telling me if a piano falls falls right on your head.
On your head.
Generally.
It would probably kill a roadrunner.
Unless you're that rebar guy, then you might survive.
Dynamite would probably kill a coyote who was trying to blowrunner.
Generalizations always contain a lot of truth.
You probably die.
So yeah, apparently this, when he pulled this lever, it was supposed to actually shoot the pilot out of the plane too.
And by some strange miracle, from my understanding of reading this article, which is probably the fighter jet would have just been.
Yeah, it would have crashed and the pilot would have been.
Which begs the question: why is the co-pilot seat have that enabled?
Like, why is that what I was going to ask?
Yeah, why is the news?
Like, they're giving tours.
Yeah.
That's like a thing that would be in a bad movie.
Maybe there's a safety thing.
Like, you have to have it.
You can't disable it.
Like, the bad guy has the good guy tied up in the back seat and he's like, I'm going to fly you to my lair.
And then, like, oh, there's an ejector lever right next to me.
Like, why would you put that next to the guy?
Why do we even have that lever?
Exactly.
And the fact that it would have shot the pilot out to me is even more hilarious anyway.
Missouri sues televangelist Jim Baker for selling fake coronavirus cure.
I believe it's like some kind of silver, silver nitrate.
But we just figured we'd mention this because Jim Baker.
Yeah.
He made some news.
You know, Jim Baker was selling all the apocalypse gruel.
Apocalypse gruel.
He was selling these giant buckets of nacho cheese, and there was this fantastic infomercial.
And he's like, when the rapture happens, you gotta be, you gotta have the nacho.
And then he like takes a spoonful of it.
He's like, and you could tell it's just absolutely disgusting.
Nasty.
But who's laughing now?
What's it like being a guy like that?
Now, now we can.
Racket guy.
Now that all the grocery stores are packed and empty to food, we all could use a bucket of apocalyptic nacho cheese.
Is it apocalyptic heat level?
Because I like my nacho cheese spicy.
Apocalyptic ghost pepper sucks.
Coronavirus.
Police raid closed liber police raid closed Liverpool Comedy Club after live stream mix-up.
So I guess this comedy club was live streaming an old video of a stand-up routine because when you post on Facebook, if you go live, you're featured at the top of everybody's feed.
So people do that.
Oh, we're going to do it.
And people live comment.
It's a good way to get interaction.
You can get some interaction.
So they can do it with a movie.
You can do like live stream a movie and everybody can comment on it.
So they did that and they got reported for like having a meeting when they're not supposed to be gathering the whole gathering.
Yeah.
So they guess they got raided by the police.
What?
There's nobody here.
That's that one.
All right.
Well, let's move on to the real news from the Babylon B.
Yeah, let's get serious.
Every week, there are stories.
These are some of them.
Story number one this week.
De Blasio announces system for reporting social distancing violations.
That would be the mayor of New York.
Knowledgeable actors reporting edict non-compliance, which is K-A-R-E-N.
Or Karen.
Oh, it spells Karen.
Was I supposed to read that or was I supposed to read this paragraph?
We didn't, you know what?
Last week, we tried, I forgot to write those this week.
We were trying to write not at the straight headlines.
Actually, that would have worked.
That's just a sum.
But yeah, if it works.
Oh, did you write these?
Did we write them down?
Dan's always so on top of things that I always say.
He's always way on top of it.
Look at that.
Assume that if I didn't think of it, he didn't think of it.
Okay, so the New York, the New York.
I can't talk today.
New York's mayor, he's got the system now where you can report people.
And it's called Karen.
Okay.
He wants everybody to be a Karen.
That's what the Karen thing.
Where'd this come from?
This was a meme that's called.
My kids constantly saying it.
Yeah, it's like, okay, Karen.
So Karen is like the middle-aged woman.
It's a derogatory term for the middle-aged woman who asks to see the manager.
Who complains?
Yeah.
Like, I have a coupon for 10% off, and it expired a week ago.
And can I see a manager, please?
Yeah.
So, how many Karens do you know in real life?
I've been pretty lucky.
I think most people on my own.
I mean, they have the actual name, not.
Oh, okay.
Yeah, I gotcha.
Because I want to know how they line up with this.
Do I?
How do they line up with this stereotype?
Do I know any Karens is the reason?
I'm searching my Facebook.
The only one I can think of, she spelled it differently.
How do you spell Karen differently?
I really like that, huh?
She's C-A-R-Y-N, which is interesting.
Yeah.
Very.
Oh, Karen Swallow Pryor.
Oh, yeah.
Karen Swallow Pryor.
Is she a Karen?
Is she?
I'm going to ask her.
Yeah.
Well, we don't ask her.
We don't ask restaurants she visits.
Yeah.
Okay.
Yeah, that lady that was just here with the blonde hair and the professor glasses.
Did she act to see a manager?
Yeah, we need to find out.
Yeah.
She's a person that's.
If anybody knows Karen Pryor personally, let me know.
I'm only interacting with her online.
If you're willing to kind of stab her in the back a little bit.
Let us know if she ever has asked for a manager.
Yeah, it feels a little dirty.
The Karen thing.
Right?
Well, it's sad.
You're mean.
You're making fun of Karen's.
People named Karen.
But there's a joke about Kyle's, and I don't care.
Oh, you don't care?
Yeah.
Kyle is like supposed to be some type of person.
I don't know if there's like Chad's and Kyle's.
What's a Chad?
I think Chads are like the bro, like the dude bro.
But wait, then what's a Kyle?
Kyle's like just a maybe there's a guide on the internet.
I have a theory about Brett's.
Bretts are almost never trustworthy.
Yeah, so Chads are like alpha male type.
Okay.
And then Kyle's like drink Kyle's drink monsters.
That's true.
Did you know a group of Kyles is called a pile?
Terrible.
That's kind of dumb.
Dwayne.
What about Dwayne?
Is that a thing?
I don't know.
These are ones that in my mind.
You associate with like these stereotypes.
Yeah, like they're Dwayne.
I always think of when I was first learning Photoshop, I worked at a local newspaper, and there's this guy with a mullet who always had the biggest big gulp.
And he was always sipping it, holding it with his elbow in the air, you know?
And he'd just be like, I was doing work experience at the local paper.
And he never gave me any actual assignments.
He'd just be like, that's Photoshop.
Just do that a bunch.
Just learn it.
That was it.
And he was right.
I just sat there for that two-hour class learning Photoshop and Dwayne.
So Dwayne, I would say Dwayne would be like a.
Did he have a nickname like the Stone or the Boulder?
No.
Dwayne the Boulder.
Oh, Dwayne the Rock Johnson.
Yeah, that's a Dwayne.
He doesn't fit the stereotype.
He doesn't fit the stereotype.
Maybe I'm wrong about Dwayne's.
What about Diane's?
Susan's?
Diane's my mom's name.
My mom's name, too.
It's hard for me to be.
Are our parents alike?
Our moms?
We'll find out.
We'll get them on for the Mother's Day.
Did your mom.
Did your mom put pee in your ears when you were a kid?
No, she did not.
At least I don't.
You know it.
Not to my knowledge.
That was once again, a story from the subscriber portion.
You're going to have to.
Ethan and I were comparing all these names of these middle-aged women, maybe a little older than middle-aged, some of them.
And we found out that all of our aunts had the same names.
Oh, yeah, Susan.
Yep.
Susan, what's the difference between a Susan and a Karen?
I feel like Susan's are very Karen-esque.
But does Susan call the manager or does Susan write a formal complaint or something?
I don't know.
Might be a little different.
It's subtle.
It's subtle.
Now there's Barb, though.
Barb is the one that I think deserves more of a stereotype.
I feel like Barb is like an older person, though.
Barb?
Yeah.
Like a waitress at a diner.
Or a librarian.
Well, no.
So I guess I'm looking at all these memes.
This podcast is now Kyle and Ethan researching memes that kids share because research shit that we didn't research before during the research time.
Even if I did, I wouldn't understand.
I don't get memes.
Yeah, I know.
Until I see a meme in a context I understand, I'm not going to get it.
I can read the know your meme and I'm like, I don't get it.
Karen, Sharon, Becky, Chad.
There's all these.
They get all these?
Yeah.
Yeah.
So now it's a whole thing and you take a name and you make a stereotype.
I did see someone on Twitter saying that Karen is like the N-word for white women.
Yeah.
That's going a bit far, but I do think that it taps into.
No, it's very far.
That's I'm making fun of it.
Yeah, very far.
But I mean, I'm saying that it taps into that.
We humans have that same desire to have an N-word, to have like to make words that are just mean.
Right?
Like to categorize a whole group of people.
You're such a Karen.
Yeah.
Like there's nothing good about the impetus towards having that word.
I think it's a really bad word.
I understand there's, it's funny, but like at the same time, it's like I see like a, there's an ugliness to man humanity that we're just Karen's evil.
So it's just how humor works.
Sometimes, yeah.
Yeah, because you're being hyperbolic.
Yeah.
I think it's yeah, for me it's shorthand.
You can instead of saying, hey, you're just like that lady who complains to the manager, you just say, you're Karen.
Yeah, for me, it's less the person who created it because I get that joke because I make jokes about Duanes and Brett's all the time.
Well, but when it becomes like a thing that you actually call somebody, you're big on Brett.
To me, I feel like, well, it's more like I don't make the jokes, but I'm always trying to convince other people that I'm right.
Like, how about the always asking, like, what about the Bretts you know?
I just, I, they're nice, but there's always a little something off.
They're just a little off about Brett's.
My dad's British.
I don't trust him.
My dad's not Brett.
He's Brent.
I don't know.
I hope we didn't lose all our Brett subscribers.
Well, with all these names we're going through, we're going to tick off everybody.
Yeah.
It's junk.
Anyway, so New York did this thing where they were saying that everybody needs to snap pictures of people who aren't social distancing.
And they can put out a number, text it to this number, and authorities will get out there right away.
That is so Orwellian.
It's freaky.
That freaks me out.
Stop it, Karen.
That is Orwellian.
It's very scary.
Yeah.
Let's go on to our next story.
President Trump announced that he hold on.
President Trump announced that America will be reopening soon, and the occasion is going to be celebrated with an insane once-in-a-lifetime grand reopening sale.
He's going crazy over here in America.
Wow, man.
So 50% off everything.
Deals, deals, deals.
All landmarks, all monuments.
Everything must go.
What would you buy at a cut rate from the U.S. government?
I would get a fighter jet or a tank, maybe.
I'd buy maybe Idaho.
Idaho would be cool to own.
Yeah.
Doug Wilson.
And a tank.
You would buy Doug.
Yeah, I don't think you would own.
He's in Moscow.
I don't think you would own everybody in the state.
I don't know why I'd want to own Doug Wilson anyway.
But I don't know why Idaho, they have potatoes and I don't like potatoes that much.
Hey, Doug, make me a sandwich.
Hey, quit writing your 620,000th book and make me a sandwich, Doug.
Yeah.
And since he's like a misogynist, like anti-woman person, now you can tell him to make the sandwich.
Yeah.
You like that, Doug Wilson?
Now, is he really misogynist, anti-woman, or is that your joke?
I'm joking.
Thanks for having me clarify.
I just say, you know, you might have people listening.
Yeah, and you got your book complaining.
I need to publish my book.
I'm trying to get your book deal canceled, is what I'm trying to do.
Yeah.
Yeah, so Trump has been talking about reopening the country, and he was saying, here are the guidelines.
Oh, so he has his own guidelines?
He put out like broad guidelines, and he just said he's been kind of hands-off.
He's telling state governors they're the ones who need to decide.
But he says, if you're going to reopen, I appreciate that.
He's like, here are the steps.
Yeah.
Look for this.
This is a key indicator.
Here's a key indicator.
Here's another key indicator.
Boom.
Then you reopen.
But he was like pushing for May 1st.
Oh, and the opening opening up America plan.
So.
Yeah, apparently, like, it's locked in that California is going to be what to like the 15th or 16th or something or 18th or something.
I don't know.
Our governor put out a very frightening statement.
Yeah.
That was like, we need these six things to happen before we will consider reopening.
And it was like, they're all insane.
I was like, oh, we need a vaccine and we need a workable treatment for it and testing for everybody.
And you're just like, that's never going to happen.
So I feel like when a couple of states reopen, all the states are watching.
They're all watching each other.
The same way that it started, right?
And if a state opens up and does fine and their economy is booming, everybody else is going to quickly.
So, who's going to take for the team and open up first?
Definitely a state in the South.
Texas is already trying to do this.
Yeah, they're already going for it.
So, I don't know.
Yeah, it makes you wonder.
Yeah, are they trying to keep everybody closed down?
I just get this feeling that they're trying to leverage this for the election somehow.
You know, keep everybody miserable long enough.
Yeah.
Because if we all open up and everything, there's going to be a surge of hope and happiness and unity.
We do it too soon.
We don't want that when everybody's voting.
Do you also think the incumbent president?
Do you also think that while everybody's locked up, they're sneaking out and putting a bunch of chemicals on the water to turn the frogs gay?
Yeah.
Okay.
Obviously.
That's true.
Just to be clear.
Yeah.
I also think there are definitely people that are looking to take advantage of this.
Yeah, I don't think it's a conspiracy where they plan in the back room, but I just get the sense.
I don't even get the sense that they're trying to write it out.
I think that they get nervous about the idea that it turns around and becomes something in his favor at the wrong time, which is an understandable concern if you're on that side.
Yeah.
I don't even think there's a conspiracy involved.
I think it's like politics.
So Trump in this commercial for this reopening sale, he goes, We've got monuments.
We've got landmarks.
We've got national parks.
And it's all going 50% off.
We're slashing prices all around the nation.
Need to pick up a special something for that special someone?
Why not come on down to the National Mall and get yourself a Lincoln Memorial from millions off the sticker price?
But wait, there's more.
You looked at me.
I said, but waiting.
You looked at me.
You're like, what?
What?
There's more?
I'm waiting.
The first 100 shoppers will receive the art of the deal absolutely free.
Free, free.
And every copy will be signed by yours truly.
What?
Why would I do something like this?
Because I'm crazy.
Hit himself on the head with a frying pan.
Oh, man.
Crazier than an outhouse rat.
The National Mall is pretty disappointing.
There's not even a hot topic.
What is the National Mall?
Have I been there?
It's like in front of the White House.
Like that whole just walk around.
Flat area.
Yeah.
Where like the memorial is and stuff?
I think it's like I've been there.
Yeah, it's where the memorial and the Washington Monument.
I'm going to Google what the National Mall is.
Okay.
It's the long, grassy National Mall, including the Lincoln Memorial and the Washington Monument.
So that's the national mall.
It makes me question what a mall is now because there's no stores.
The World War II memorial was super cool.
Yeah.
It has all the different soldiers.
That was awesome.
Yeah, it was really cool.
You remember that?
That was awesome.
Yeah.
Totally remember that.
Well, do we have another story?
We got one more.
Let's do it.
Democrats are scrambling to defend Brett Kavanaugh against his accusers after he put on a Joe Biden mask.
That's why we think of that a long time ago.
Gosh, if he had only thought about that during that whole trial, that would have been great in October.
Yeah, maybe they weren't making because Biden's really popular right now.
Yeah, so now they actually make masks.
I don't know if he could have made one.
You'd have to print one off of Google.
Well, I'm sure a Joe Biden mask existed at that time because he was the vice president for eight years.
Probably wasn't a big seller still, though.
I doubt many people dressed up.
I don't know.
I think if you had a black friend and a white friend, that might have been a popular party costume.
Like, hey, let's go.
Hey, bro.
So Chad goes up to Dwayne and he says, Hey, bro, let's go.
Chad and Kyle.
Chad.
Can there be like black Chad and black Kyle?
Or is that?
Yeah.
Do they fit the kind of races if they fit the that's the weird thing?
Because that's where it kind of shows you there's some racism there.
What if your name is if you did a black name and instantly racist?
Yeah, right.
You can't say like Jamal's Jerome's and Jerome's.
Yeah.
Jamal's.
Yeah, can't do it.
Or we just did.
So now we're yeah.
Well, we need an example of what not to do.
Don't make that joke.
Don't you do it.
Yeah, so Joe Biden's been accused of sexual assault.
Yeah.
Is that right?
By a lady.
Sexual harassment, at least.
And they're, and like the New York Times was talking about how it's completely different from the Kavanaugh situation.
CNN had zero articles on their website mentioning Tara Reed's name.
That was the name.
And there were 700 articles mentioning Christine Blasey Ford, who accused Brett Kavanaugh of rape.
So, well, I mean, if you need to write 700 articles about Christine Blasey Ford, how are you going to have time?
It's only Southern.
Yeah, they were probably burned out.
Yeah, they're busy.
You know, we already wrote 700.
Yeah.
Here's another one.
It's just too much.
It's like, line up.
Start your own news.
If you want to write about her, start your own newspaper.
I mean, wait, newspaper.
News outlet.
CNN finally ran this headline: Democrats grapple with questions about Tara Reed's sexual assault allegation against Joe Biden.
So they run their N1.
But there was a tweet, right?
We got a tweet.
Did you read the tweet?
Yes, Kate Kelly, who writes for the New York Times, was questioned on why she hadn't remained silent on Biden's sexual harassment story.
And she said, as our executive editor pointed out, Kavanaugh was a live, ongoing story that had become the biggest political story in the country.
It was just a different news judgment moment.
We don't need to cover Biden as much.
It's a different moment.
It's just the presidential election.
Yeah, it's not a big deal.
He's just running for president.
Yeah.
Because obviously, like, if Trump had had this woman accusing him, that wouldn't have been a big deal either.
They would have just completely ignored it.
Yeah, no big deal.
Yeah.
It's just a different moment.
SMH.
Not a different moment.
Yeah.
It's not that it was a different person or a political party.
It's just a different moment.
It's a totally different moment.
Yeah.
What does that even mean?
It's a different news judgment moment.
Well, we wouldn't understand.
We're not journalists.
Well, we are journalists.
Well, that's going to be our excuse if a policeman pulls us over while we're driving to the office.
I'm a journalist.
Yeah.
Oh, they're essential?
Yeah, I think so.
Okay.
I think journalists are essential.
Gotta be.
And then CNN finally ran a headline about this.
Oh, yeah, I read that.
Oh, you did?
Yeah.
Okay, I missed it.
Democrats grapple.
They're grappling.
Are they grappling with each other?
They're in a big room.
All right, everybody, to the grappling room.
Wearing these loincloths and doing Greco-Roman wrestling.
Boil them up, boys.
It's grappling time.
Goodness gracious.
To be fair, I haven't read much about these sexual allegations, but that's because there's nobody wrote any stories about them.
Yeah.
How are we supposed to?
I have no idea.
Yeah, it's sexual assault allegation, so it's pretty serious.
Is she a believe all-women candidate?
I don't know.
Believe some women.
Sometimes.
Not always.
All right.
Well, yeah.
Sorry, I was trying to read the story during the podcast.
We're going to talk to Hans.
Happy Trails.
Who does Lutheran satire?
And you might have seen his funny videos about the Trinity and other such topics.
Yeah, Lutheran cartoons.
Lutheran cartoons are a very popular market.
Yeah, huge.
Much like our worship leader jokes.
But he's also a writer at the Federalist Stand-up Lutheran Pastor.
So we're going to talk to him.
Let's do it.
Let's do it.
Presenting an exclusive Babylon B interview.
All right, everyone.
Well, here we are in our interview of the week with we have determined the correct pronunciation.
Hans Feeney Feeney, you need a little guttural.
Hans.
Guttural?
Yeah.
Hans.
No, I don't think you need the guttural.
No, guttural.
That's gruff.
Guttural is like, that's like Arnold Schwarzenegger.
Like, Hans.
A German guy just burned his hands.
Yes, right, yeah.
He's touched an iron.
Turned on.
And that's what they yell.
Yeah.
Just to be clear.
I do have other words they yell.
Yeah.
So who are you?
Oh, that's a deep question, isn't it?
I'm a Lutheran.
I'm a Lutheran pastor in Illinois.
I'll be moving in a couple of weeks to St. Louis to begin serving a congregation there.
But I've been serving River of Life Lutheran Church in lovely Shanahan, Illinois, which is about an hour southwest of Chicago for a little over nine years at this point, about nine and a half years.
I am the son of a Lutheran pastor.
I grew up in a number of places in various congregations my dad was serving.
So I was born in northern Minnesota, lived in Sandy, Utah for a number of years, then lived in Connecticut.
And then my dad took a call to a congregation in Indiana when I was just shy of 13 years old.
So that's, and I lived in Indiana until I graduated from the seminary in Fort Wayne, Indiana, where I, whereupon I went to go be the pastor of the Lutheran Church in Denver, Colorado for a couple of years.
So I consider, I proudly consider myself to be a Hoosier.
That's where I spent most of my life.
It's where all of my sports loyalties lie and all of that stuff.
So that's kind of the general biographical details.
So are you one of the good Lutherans?
I'm one of the best Lutherans.
Yeah, but you're like not, you're not, you're not like, because all the Lutherans in my area, it's like their main line.
Yeah.
So to kind of give a little, you know, right.
Yeah, it's, it's in some ways that's becoming helpful.
So to kind of clarify things a bit.
So yeah, to give kind of a brief history of Lutheranism in America.
So it's fairly similar, I suppose, to a number of other denominations and confessions of faith.
Lutherans obviously do not have a pope.
Historically, what has made you a Lutheran is holding to the confession of faith as expressed in what we call the Lutheran Confession.
So a series of writings written from the time of Luther into the second generation of Lutherans that the kind of the first generation dealing with this is what we Lutherans believe as opposed to the Roman Catholic Church.
And then in the second generation, this is what we Lutherans believe as opposed to kind of the growing Calvinistic confessions of faith.
So historically, you were a Lutheran if you believed in those various documents, if you confess what was confessed in those various documents.
And then obviously in the United States of America, we have this whole freedom of religion thing, which means that you can't shoot people for calling themselves Lutherans when they're not.
Yeah, it's, you know, there are ups and downs to every system, I suppose.
One of the ups is you're able to preserve the preaching of the gospel and keeping the government out of determining who's a heretic and who's Orthodox.
You know the the upside of that is that uh you, you don't give people who should not be in control of the truth power over the ability to preach the truth.
Downside is, a bunch of people who aren't really Lutherans can call themselves Lutherans and and make your life uh, slightly more irritating.
So um so yeah, so historically, there are groups that have come out of Germanic Lutheran or Scandinavian Lutheran immigrants but didn't hold to all of those documents that determined whether or not you were actually a Lutheran um, and so for some of them they're more kind of historical, um things that they had sort of kind of left behind.
As opposed to my church body, the Lutheran Church Missouri Synod, which is very much rooted in those uh, in those writings, and if you, if a congregation, doesn't acknowledge them, doesn't confess them and doesn't say this is our confession of faith, you can't be a part of our church body.
Uh, so kind of what's happened throughout history is that yeah, what we would typically call the more mainline denominations, including a group called the Evangelical Lutheran Church IN America.
They're not as bound to that stuff.
Their identity in in Lutheranism was much more cultural and they also had a bit of a different uh church polity than we had.
So once um, theological liberalism came into their seminaries, it just kind of took over everything and they didn't have the same means of fighting back against that that say, our church body, the Lutheran Church, Missouri Synod had.
So uh, kind of just what's happened is that you get a lot of clergy who go there who buy into the higher critical methods of interpretation.
They reject the idea of the inerrancy of the scriptures.
And then you know, five seconds after you reject the inerrancy of the scriptures um, you quickly figure out that all of the parts of the Bible that say stuff that you don't like are those are not the inspired word of God.
Those parts are not inspired.
And then all the ones, the parts that you do like, those are inspired.
So um, and then you kind of follow that path, you know down into the kind of progressive wokeness that we have today.
Yeah, so you'll get a lot of churches that will be called Lutheran, that um are not even Christian in any any real meaningful sense of the term, reject the id, the divinity of Christ um, reject the reliability, the inerrancy of the scriptures um, and embrace a whole host of kind of uh, pagan and secular notions of the you know the origins of human life and who god is and human sexuality and kind of all that stuff.
So yeah, that's a long way of saying uh, we're the good Lutherans and uh, they're whoever they are.
They are not.
Yeah, and that's unlike all the other denominations.
Like you, go to a Baptist church, you know it's good, don't you?
I love, by the way when uh, if you, if you ever come across these Baptist churches that have have very loaded names and you don't know what the background of the name is, but you know there's definitely a story there, you know.
So you'll be driving down the road and you'll drive by, you know, like this is true.
Bible Apostolic Baptist Church.
And you're like well, you clearly split off from someone that you consider to be fake Bible Baptist Baptist Church.
So one day I want to just drive by one that just says, like you know, Jeff Schmidt, stinks Baptist Church.
Right, there's that.
One's at least being honest about.
You know about what's going on.
Doesn't cloak it in it nearly as much piety.
Yeah, you know, if it has united in the name, they've been.
Yeah right, there is first.
They're like trying to be like we were first, first one, first united, first dibs on first.
Yeah hmm, i've seen like third.
I don't know if i've ever seen a fourth.
I'm sure there is a fourth somewhere Fourth, Baptist or fourth.
There's a I think there's a fourth Presbyterian in Chicago, Downtown Chicago.
It's a um that, insofar as Presbyterian churches are beautiful, is a very beautiful church uh, church building uh, and I.
But I yeah, I don't know the exact history of that.
I think it just had to do with the number of ones in the area that had already been started.
So um uh, but yeah, it is a terribly unappealing name for Fourth Presbyterian.
It does not make it seem like the coolest church that that you could go to.
Excuse me, i'll say this as a guy who's a pastor and what's.
That should just be honorable mention to that point.
Yeah yeah, if you're not first, second or third, really third runner-up Presbyterian Church, Second Baptist, is the first loser.
No fear, if you're not first, your last hated reference.
Yeah, if you're not first, your last Baptist church.
That would be a good game, all right.
Well, one thing that people may know, Hans Feeny, how do I do that?
Nice.
How do I do?
Yeah, this guy's great.
Yeah, one people.
One thing people may know him from is his Lutheran satire videos which uh, every time we post a joke about the trinity, about like people doing bad trinity analogies, everybody just floods our comments with links to your video on bad trinity analogies.
I know I, I wish.
Every, any time that someone uh uses the phrase okay Patrick, I wish I got a nickel.
Yeah, our whole comment section is okay, Patrick.
Yeah, from the video.
I haven't seen this video.
Yeah, so there's these two characters.
So what are these characters names?
Uh well, they didn't have any names at that point but they later came to be uh name named Donnell and Connell there.
So they're two.
I uh two fifth century Irish peasants.
Uh, the gist of the original video was um, so it came from.
It was, I think, coming up on trinity sunday and um, I just kind of have always gotten a little annoyed with bad analogies to try to describe the trinity, because obviously the point with the trinity is there is nothing else like it.
Uh, so there's.
You know, any comparison is going to end up falling short and most analogies that people use, especially kind of sundays, typical sunday school teacher, teach the uh, teach this to children, type of analogies, uh are.
They always end up veering off into some heresy that you don't.
That's actually not what you want people to think.
The trinity is is like, uh, so the?
The concept of the video is st. Patrick is evangelizing to the Irish and he goes to a couple of Irish peasants seeking to and they he tries to explain the Trinity to them and they don't understand and ask for an analogy.
And he gives them one analogy and they point out the ancient Christological heresy there, or Trinitarian heresy, and then he gives them another one, another one.
They keep pointing out heresies in there, which is really basically kind of the joke is there?
There are a few jokes that I will never get tired of using.
One of them is irrational hostility is just always funny to me and then another one is stupid.
People being inexplicably intelligent about certain things is, for whatever reason, always funny to me.
So so yeah, so that's a.
So that was kind of the gist of the video and that throughout the years, has been the most famous or most viewed of of my output, so that one's got uh, it probably has two, three times maybe as many views as whatever is the runner-up, So we wanted to throw some more analogies at you.
We found some good ones here.
Okay.
All right.
Because maybe you just didn't get all of them.
Right.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So tell us, can you identify the heresy?
Yeah.
In these.
All right.
We'll give it a shot.
Okay.
The Rice Krispies, Snap, Crackle, and Pop.
It's like the Trinity.
Yeah.
It's one Rite Crispy, but three sounds.
Well, that would be...
Or three ACs.
Yeah, three elves.
All right.
So hold on.
Wait, are you saying the elves?
Snap?
Because Snap, Crackle, and Pop are the names of the elves.
Yeah, that's what I was thinking.
But then Ethan would have to sound.
But are you talking?
So you're talking about the three-points.
Well, they're named after the three properties of a Rice Krispie.
Right.
Well, see, that's what I was confused about.
Are you saying that the three properties of the Rice Krispie, that it snaps, it crackles?
I think they're the incarnation of the sound of the Rice Krispie.
This is getting very deep.
Human.
Well, first of all, here's the problem with this analogy.
Because I've eaten Rice Krispies many times in my life.
And they pop and they crackle.
They don't snap.
I've never heard a Rice Krispie snap.
It's not like eating chicken bones or something.
Right, yeah, so this would, the only way this analogy, first of all, right out of the gate, this analogy doesn't work because this only works if there's a third person of the Trinity who doesn't do anything, who's not present at all, who's just named but doesn't actually accomplish it.
Yeah, really not pulling his weight, you know.
Yeah, right.
So it breaks down right there.
So that's heresy.
But I guess are you saying Snap, Crackle, and Pop are each manifestations of the essence of the Rice Krispie?
Or what kind of is the idea here?
I don't know.
We figured you'd kind of pick it up and fix it for us.
Well, yeah, I'm going to just stick with the fact that it doesn't work because Snap is bogus and it doesn't.
Which one is Snap?
Is that the blonde one, by the way?
Dan, Google it.
I have no idea.
Either way, yeah, it doesn't work because you don't have all three persons of Snap, Crackle, and Pop pulling, each pulling his own weight.
Let's try another one then.
Okay.
Potatoes.
Potatoes are, well, a potato, but they're also French fries.
They're also mashed potatoes.
No, that's modalism.
Yeah.
So that's the idea that a potato comes to you in different forms so that you can have french-fried potatoes, you can have mashed potatoes, you can have twice-baked potatoes if you're really fancy and it's 1947.
Yeah, potato chips.
So that's potato skins?
Were those chips?
Totato skins, are they called?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Are they popular?
They were, like in the 90s, I think.
Do you remember back in the 80s, that commercial for Oboise, the potato chip?
Oh, yeah, they're a boisterous.
Oboise are a boisterous.
Yeah.
I don't think they make those anymore.
I only remember that potato chip brand existing for a solid like two years.
Yeah.
But yeah, no, I'm going to go with modalism on this one.
That that's just different forms of the potato manifesting itself to you, which is heretical.
So can you say that's modalism, Patrick, for us?
Do you want me to shame myself and say it in the accent, or just can I do I just say it in a dejected, regular Midwestern accent?
Well, we want the accent.
Okay.
That's mortalism, Patrick.
It takes me a while to get into it.
So, you know, I'm never going to be as bad, bad cold.
What else we got?
We could do some of the classics, too, I guess.
Well, what about a fidget spinner?
This was an interesting one.
Someone presented this to me before.
Oh, that's real?
Well, yeah, as it I'm trying to think of.
what is the argument that it's a good analogy for it?
Cause I would say it's good for people that have mental problems.
Jesus.
Well, yes.
Yes, in that sense.
In the sense that both Jesus, yeah, in the sense that both the triune God and the fidget spinner are beneficial for those with attention deficit disorder or whatever it might be.
Maybe the father, the son, and the Holy Spirit are all super cool and you can collect them all.
Yeah, I'm not sure that works.
I think the problem with the fidget spinner is that it's kind of that same sort of partialism thing that you have these.
It's not partialism quite in the sense of Voltron, as I reference in the original video, but it's.
But each one it was.
But it's kind of the same thing with the like the three leaf clover, right that each leaf is not fully the clover, but together they form the fullness of the of the clover.
So so that therein lies the problem with that is that the father is is fully god, the son is fully god, the spirit is fully god.
Uh but um, with the fidget spinner each, each fidget, is that what you say?
Each fidget fidget nub, each nub yeah fidget uh, each fidget yes, that's.
I've never said, i've never heard that word before said, it felt very gross coming out of my mouth.
I don't ask, I don't ever want to say it again as long as I live by the third fidget oh, I don't even like hearing it now.
It's awful.
Uh so yeah, so I would say I think that still falls into the partialism.
Uh heresy, you know the the problem with the, the three-leaf clover analogy, nobody wants a three-leaf clover every four leaf right, that is.
That is another problem that makes it sound like, oh man, just a trinity, I could.
You had one more god, so it could be lucky.
Yeah, that's right.
Yeah um well uh, i'm reading back over a list and they're so stupid i'm afraid you didn't bring them up.
Actually, the best one i've heard okay uh, was Neapolitan ice cream, because then the analogy was something along the lines or the point.
The argument was, because what is neapolitan against chocolate, strawberry and vanilla?
That that the chocolate is not the strawberry, the strawberry is not the chocolate, and so on and so forth, and that you don't have, it's not neapolitan ice cream unless it's all three of those right, so so if you have ice cream, so if if you say to me hey, do you want some Neapolitan ice cream?
And you only give me the chocolate uh, then you haven't really given me neapolitan ice cream.
I need all three in order for for it to really be the case.
So that's the best, the my and my answer to that is, yeah, but that's stupid and I don't know.
I can't completely tell you why, I just know it's, I just know it's wrong.
So, as a, as a pastor, do you often say that line, that that your analogy is stupid, just yeah, but it's stupid like it seems like that would apply in in a bunch of different circumstances.
Yeah, there are times, like whenever there's a stupid book that comes out about something that you know is stupid and you know you're going to have to probably read it because your members are reading it and you need, they probably need something a little more than it's stupid.
You know, like so, you know, like if the heaven is for real book, you know, a number of years ago that comes out and everyone's reading, they're like, oh, you got to read this.
People will believe in God now because of a book.
about a little kid who supposedly died and went to heaven and then came back.
And you go, oh, it's stupid, but you got to probably sit down and read the thing.
And then you read it and you go, yeah, this is as dumb and bad as I thought it was going to be.
I do.
Yeah, we obviously hate children if we don't allow their stories to trump the scriptures in terms of where we find hope in the promises of God.
But yeah, stuff like that oftentimes happens where you got to just sort of suck it up and spend some time reading something that you know is going to be dumb in order to give people a more thoughtful response than it's dumb.
I like this track we're on.
I'd like to get into more heresy and dumbness.
You know, you're kind of going off on heresy and things that are dumb.
So what are some other heresies or things that are dumb that you see either people getting wrong just about Lutheranism or just Christianity in general?
You know, just go off.
Just let it out.
You know, the one minute hate.
Yeah.
That's not enough time.
Yeah, no, there's a, I suppose there's a lot of stuff.
You know, I think people are, especially in American kind of suburban circles, there is a tendency for, and in particular amongst kind of boomerish audiences, people have a tendency to get sucked in by anything that seems fun and novel.
And because they're bored.
Because oftentimes the truth is less entertaining than heresy.
It wasn't Lutheranism fun and novel?
That's why people...
Yeah.
Yeah, that's clearly why it is that people embraced it.
No, yeah, I mean, of course, there's always, you know, the new thing is always intriguing because it causes people to say, oh, well, why am, you know, what's the difference between this and the old thing?
And of course, this is, you know, from the perspective of a Lutheran, it's an easy sales pitch where someone says, oh, you know, if you're the new guys on the scene, someone says, well, what's the deal with you guys?
How are you different from the Pope?
And then you say, all right, well, here's what the Roman Catholic Church teaches about the doctrine of justification.
Here's what the Bible teaches.
This is why we believe the things that we do.
So, you know, there's an appeal to the scriptures there, which is good.
So anytime you're having that, that's good.
Anytime you're kind of having a conversation rooted in this is what the scriptures say.
And obviously a big thing for the Lutherans, if you go through and read the Lutheran confessions, is what we're teaching is not new.
So this is not a, what we're teaching is not a novel interpretation of the scriptures.
We're not the first people to come along and say that you are justified by faith alone in Christ, that you're not saved by your good works.
We're not the first people to come along and say that the Pope doesn't have authority over all Christians by divine right.
So a lot of Lutheran history is going, you know, going through a lot of the early church fathers and showing that throughout history what we're saying is just a continuation of the truth.
So but yeah, I think one of the things that's sort of weird about kind of dealing with American theological controversies is, you know, in large parts of the world, I'd imagine saying to people, no one has ever taught this before, is should be a fairly compelling reason for someone to go, oh, then, yeah, it's probably ridiculous.
You know, so someone comes along and they go, I read the Bible and I figured out if you do a bunch of math and addition and subtraction and you carry the one and you add the remainder, I've discovered when the world is going to end.
And you go, guys, everyone has always said that this is the interpretation of Jesus' words about no one knows the day or the hour.
And that's probably a really good example of people going, yeah, but that's boring.
It's way more fun to feel like you figured out the answer.
And so to say, well, look, you know, guys, this is a novel interpretation.
No one's ever taught this before.
You know, in large parts of the world, I'd imagine people would go, oh, yeah, that's probably a good point.
Maybe if no one else has ever had this idea before, it's probably not valid.
But especially in America, where we're a country that thrives on innovation and just building something that's never been built before.
I mean, that's part of what obviously makes America great.
But in a theological sense, it's oftentimes not a good thing at all because you say to people, someone goes, hey, Pastor, I just read this book that tells me the exact date and when the world is going to end.
And you go, oh, no one's ever interpreted the passages of the Bible that way before.
And they go, so?
And you go, well, oh, I thought that was going to be a more convincing argument than it proved to be.
All right.
And then you go kind of go further back into the text and stuff like that.
And that's oftentimes, too, one of the things you find is people oftentimes just have a tendency to believe the stuff that's more fun to believe.
And so you can show them from the scriptures.
So, you know, you can show them from the scriptures, you know, that the heaven is for real kids is not where you're going to find your hope and the promise of the resurrection.
You find it in the scriptures.
And people just go, yeah, but that's, it's more fun.
It's cuter and it's sweet.
And I go, I got this book I can give my, you know, I gave my friends a Bible and they ignored that.
So I can give them this and maybe this will work.
And that so much of that is, is it's just, I think, yeah, the novelty of it all is very appealing for people.
So that can be certainly a frustrating thing that I like to rant about, I guess.
Yeah, I got sent a crazy theory by this guy at my Facebook the other day.
I don't want to get into it, though.
There's all the numbers.
Well, why don't you bring it up?
Oh, that's awful.
Isn't that ridiculous when people send you that and they go, hey, here's how we can know when Jesus is going to return.
This guy was an atheist, but he was like somehow using all this math to prove me that Christianity can't be true.
Oh, gosh.
Well, even that, yes.
It's all that, all that.
Yeah, you're looking at this and you're going, at least for me, looking at, look, I went into theology because there was no math.
So you're really betraying the foundation of this field of study to try to get me to do math.
It's like on Facebook, when I see all these people who are apparently bored in the quarantine and they keep passing around all these riddles that have to do with math.
And you're going, what?
Guys, I graduated from high school a long time ago.
I do not have to do this anymore.
There is no level of boredom you could possibly throw at me where I would finally get to the point where I'd be like, you know what?
I got to do right now is some math.
Casual math.
Yeah.
I'm still light years away from that.
I like the clickbait on those.
It's like, if you get this one, your IQ level is in the top 5% of humanity.
And they're doing it so the person will share it and be like, I'm a genius.
They didn't figure out.
98% of people shared clickbaits.
Yeah, that's always the really easy ones where that's the case too.
Well, you inherently have to be bad at math to be into the Trinity because three equals one is already bad math.
Yeah, If you are not tripped up by it helps to not, yeah, for if someone comes to you and goes, Hey, did you know what three is the same as one?
Kind of, and you go, ah, all right, fine.
That's, you know, if you hate math like I do, that's a kind of, you're naturally kind of disposed to having theology work a bit better for you.
I'm looking at a list of the top-selling Christian books.
April 2020.
Let's get his reaction.
It's three-word reactions.
Just gut-shot reaction.
I'm not going to go through all of them, but five love languages, number one-selling book, April 2020.
That's considered a Christian book.
Wow.
Savage.
Brutal.
No, I mean, hey, look, I've read it.
And I think it can certainly be very, very helpful.
But I honestly don't remember, though.
Is it explicitly intended to be a Christian?
I don't remember.
Who Gary Chapman was like targeting?
I mean, they're all talking about in churches.
Yeah, they sell churches and stuff.
Well, see, and this is a good example to me of Christian.
The church would be in a much better place if we could recognize there's a middle ground in our lives for stuff that is kind of somewhat devotional in nature.
So it's not totally secular.
It has a Christian component to it, but it's also not fitting for worship because it's not as Christ-centered as something could be.
So like to me, it was like with music and worship, right?
So there's a ton of, you know, vaguely defined Christian music that does not at all talk about who Jesus is and what he's done for you.
And if you're listening to that and if you are importing into it the faith that you already have, it can certainly be beneficial for your own devotional life, right?
So like in the same way that, you know, if you're filled with despair and depression or whatever it is and you sit down and you don't even know what to pray and you and you just keep saying over and over again, you know, like, Lord, please, Lord, please, Lord, please, or, you know, Lord, have mercy on me, have mercy on me, have mercy on me.
And you just pray it for three hours.
Now, that's great and wonderful and beneficial for your own devotional life.
It's not great and beneficial for the body at large, for the body of Christ at large, because people can't import, you know, their own kind of personal spiritual state is not transferable to what you're going through to kind of make it work at that time.
So we need to be able to say, like, you know, hey, here's something that very well might be beneficial for Christians.
So Christians, do you, you know, and beneficial for everyone, certainly, but especially if you already have a Christian worldview, you know, Christians, do you want to get better at communicating with your spouse and understanding the way that they think?
That's a really super duper valuable thing.
That's fine.
So if you're going to write that book, great.
If you want to market it towards Christians, great.
I don't have any problem with that at all.
It can be really valuable, beneficial stuff.
But when you're going to church on Sunday morning, that's time primarily for you're a sinner who needs the forgiveness of sins.
Jesus has given you that forgiveness and that mercy.
And you shouldn't hijack it with stuff that very well may be beneficial in a certain sense, but is not primarily what the church is there for.
So don't, yeah, don't be talking about, you know, don't talk about love languages instead of Christ crucified should, I think, be a simple rule for Christian churches.
So I'm not good at math, but that was more than three words, I think.
Yeah, sorry about that.
I was trying to remember that connection.
That book is an updated version of C.S. Thus's Four Loves, right?
Four Love.
Yeah.
That's what that works.
Yeah, I believe.
He just added one.
He added one and made it a little easier to understand.
Dare we do another?
Yeah, you're not going to get three words out of it.
I don't know if we got time.
I'll edit them down to three words.
I don't know if you've heard of this, but Joel C. Rosenberg, you know who that is?
He writes those like pre-milled trib, pre-trib, pre-millennial like thrillers about Jerusalem all the time.
It's always like Jerusalem exploding.
Okay, right.
So he's got one called The Jerusalem Assassin.
So, yeah.
How about Rachel Hollis?
Girl, Wash Your Face?
Oh, girl.
Girl, be quiet.
I don't know.
Is that bad?
Oh, man.
Go home, girl.
Yeah.
Girl, shut your head.
No, I don't.
I have not read this.
I mean, one of the things about we Missouri Synod Lutherans is we are just simply not at all as immersed in kind of evangelical pop poster Christianity as obviously evangelicals are.
So I genuinely don't know anything about her books and what the point of them is.
Is it although my guess would be, here's my guess, just based off of being a human being in the world today.
So it's Girl Wash Your Face.
Is that the name of the book?
Yes.
Is the point of the book that women should not feel bad about being assertive or they should be more assertive or not as much makeup?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Is it like dude?
Or women bad skin habitation?
The little thing on the cover is stop believing the lies about who you are so you can become who you were meant to be.
Okay, so it's like, don't, yeah.
So is it kind of like body positive type of stuff mixed with a little bit of Jesus?
It's like, yeah, it's like you can't do your laundry, but that's okay.
Okay, right.
So it's.
It's Joel Osteen for women, I think.
Okay.
Yeah.
Osteen for women, then would be my okay.
Oh, good.
If I get four words, it's Osteen for insecure women.
Sorry to all our listeners who like that book.
Yeah, I haven't.
My apologies if it's good.
My guess is not.
I don't know.
Total Money Makeover, Dave Ramsey.
Top number five selling book last month.
Wow.
This month.
My response would be, we'll see, dude.
I don't know.
Just like something along the line, because I think obviously Dave Ramsey has a lot of valuable financial insights to give.
But I think also, too, sometimes it's a little ridiculous.
So you're like, don't ever, you know, pay for anything with credit.
All right, we'll see, dude.
You know, kind of that I'll try.
I'll try, dude, is maybe the proper response.
Like, we'll give it a shot.
We'll, you know, we'll try to abide by some of these general principles, but we'll see, dude.
The five love languages of children.
This is the second one.
It's like, let it go.
That was one of them, actually.
That was three.
That's one of my daughters' love languages.
My wife and I, a couple years ago, we had a little foster daughter who was with us for a couple months who did not speak a word of English.
She was Nigerian.
She did not speak a word of English, but by the end of her stay with us, she was walking around the house singing, Let It Go.
Ruined her.
Yeah.
Destroyed.
How about one more?
Rick Warren, The Purpose-Driven Life.
Oh, my gosh, that's still on there.
Like top 30 still.
Yep.
Okay, not enough.
That's a short answer.
Yeah.
Not enough Jesus.
That's my answer there.
Dang.
Take that.
Rick Warren.
Yeah.
Watch as the Lutherans own Christian authors.
Yeah.
Facts and logic.
Well, we thank you for coming on, sir.
It was my pleasure.
I had a great time talking with you guys.
How can our listeners check out more ranting and raving?
Yeah.
Well, you can go to Lutheransatire.org.
You can go to the look it up on the YouTube channel.
You can follow me on Twitter, which I believe my handle is at Hans Feeney.
It's H-A-N-S-F-I-E-N-E.
Spelled just like it sounds.
Yeah.
Life would have been a lot easier if that had been the case.
Yeah.
So you can find me there.
All right, we have two emails that we're going to read today.
One of them is supposed to be a complaint, but then it turns into a compliment.
Oh.
Oh, so nice.
And then we have an actual hate mail.
A complaintment.
A complaintment.
So this guy says, I have to complain that the comments on your website are limited to 500 characters.
I want to thank you all for everything the Babylon B has done for me over the past few years, especially with regards to my faith and my education.
How are we helping with the education?
Yes.
But 500 characters simply are not enough to express just how much I've grown as a person and as a Christian through the ministry of the Babylon Bee.
I also want to thank you for the COVID-19 relief fund y'all made.
But I cannot effectively do so because of the 500 character lim.
It's over.
But is there a limit on emails?
Is that the joke?
It's just the joke.
It's no, it's a there's a form on our site.
That's I thought there's a 500 character limit on the comments, the new comments?
I don't think so.
Okay.
I thought he was talking about those.
If you don't know, everybody, we have a new feature on the site.
We have comments now.
We have now, but you have to be a premium subscriber.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So if you want to be part of the premium elite ruling class who gets to make comments on all the articles and stuff and see our secret new article.
I think everybody gets to see the secret new articles, but only comment sections are locked.
The premium and above, yes.
They can comment.
Yeah, so that's pretty cool.
Like it.
Well, thanks.
Yeah, thank you, Richard.
Rich.
That was rich.
Okay, now we have another email from an old age crazy person.
Their email address.
You're a jerk at ahole.com.
I don't know.
You thought about it?
You want to read this one?
Okay.
So this was in regards to the article.
Most millennials are completely unaffected by the orders to stay in their parents' home and not work.
Okay, now in that context, so the joke is that it's actually making fun of millennials.
Yeah, it's making fun of millennials.
This guy thought we were making fun of old people.
Okay, because I was so confused by the reaction.
Your writer is a prejudiced ageism.
Tell your darling puppy to get the hell back up on the porch.
Hustle farts are the whole reason.
He backslash she even has a computer to insult people with.
So what did you patent today?
So you analyze this?
My favorite part is: what did you patent today?
Like, yeah, you want to complain?
What did they patent today?
Show me the filing that you took down to the patent office today.
Yeah.
Is that the measure of having to do that?
What do they think we were saying?
Because we were saying, we're joking that millennials, they don't even notice the difference because they're always at home being taken care of their parents and not working, right?
Like, that's the joke.
And you're a millennial making fun of yourself.
There's something I'm missing here.
And then they raid that.
Your writer is a prejudice.
And I love that just one sentence, the shortest sentence.
Ageism.
I wonder if I had a joke in there.
Because sometimes I put a joke in there.
There's something in the writing that makes fun of it, that goes back the other way.
Tell your darling puppy.
Is there anything about puppy in there?
Okay, so at the end, I said, boomers have been affected by the orders, but only a little bit, since they tend to go into the office at 9 and leave at 11 most days to go golfing anyway.
That's it.
Is there anybody a puppy?
Tell your darling puppy to do it.
What did they say?
Tell your darling puppy to get the flower bed back up on the porch.
Yeah.
What's that mean?
Like, there's a puppy.
Is that an analogy I don't know about?
Like, oh, man, have you seen Phil lately?
His puppy is way off the porch.
We're talking 100 yards off the porch.
Yeah, puppy's out there.
We got to get that puppy back on the porch.
Like, get your flowerbed together.
Get your stuff together.
It means get your puppy up on the porch.
I'm trying to figure it out.
Sounds like a Dave Matthews band song.
You know what they say?
Puppies on the porch.
Get your puppies on the porch.
Can't your puppy on the porch.
I don't understand.
If anybody has any insight, we don't know where this is from, so this could be dialect or the way people talk where this person's from.
Maybe it's Kentucky or some, you know, Iowa or something.
Maybe in Kentucky there's.
And that's an analogy they use.
That might be the state motto of Kentucky for all I know.
Your darling puppy.
Your darling puppy.
Get back up on the porch.
Us old farts are the whole reason he or she even has a computer to insult.
It sounds like they're referring to the puppy having computer if you follow it.
Your writer is prejudiced.
Yeah, yeah.
It's like they're saying, tell your writer to get back up on the porch.
Why is the writer not on the porch?
The writer is the puppy.
Okay, your writer's prejudice.
So the editors of the site are the old guys sitting on the rocks.
Because they're on the porch.
And they're the whole reason.
So get up out of the.
Don't try to go out there into the world yet, puppy.
You got to grow up into a big dog.
You got to come back here on the porch.
Where the old guys, the old farts.
You got to chew on your bone and get big and strong.
We're the whole reason you have a computer to insult people with.
Boomers invented computers.
Yeah.
Did they?
No.
Well.
Yeah, right?
No, because they were invented in the 1940s.
So it'd be like greatest generation or silent generation development.
Yeah, that's the most popular.
I need a shorter name.
Although, boomers, yeah, probably what?
Bill Gates would be a boomer.
Definitely.
Steve Jobs.
My guess.
Yeah.
It's a dead boomer.
Too soon?
A lot of dead boomers.
They're adding up.
I don't know.
I guess that's worse, too.
I was trying to help you.
So if anybody has hung in there all the way through this podcast, and even though we've lost all of our Chad listeners, our Kyles, our Brett's, Karens, our Karens, our boomers, our puppies.
Everybody else, thank you for listening.
We're going to move into our paid subscriber portion.
We have had an enjoyable blast of a time with you this week.
Yeah, we're going to talk about what are we going to do?
We're reading an email I got from a guy who's had some requests.
One of his requests was some more stories from my childhood.
We're going to go to the mailbag, is what we're going to do.
That's what we're doing.
Mailbag.
Let's go, Kyle.
Into the mailbag.
Once more, into the breach.
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