Episode 26: PC Insanity On College Campuses With Mike Adams
In episode twenty-six of The Babylon Bee podcast, editor-in-chief Kyle Mann and creative director Ethan Nicolle talk to Mike Adams who is a professor at UNC-Wilmington, a TownHall.com columnist, and a speaker on college campuses on first amendment issues and abortion. They talk about how he won his federal case against the university on free speech grounds, why college campuses are even crazier than you think, and how the bill of rights was produced by Hitler. Follow Mike Adams on Twitter. Show Outline Introduction - Kyle and Ethan welcome everybody into the Christmas season, unless you are a grumpy Presbyterian or something, with a discussion about Christmas traditions like seeing lights with the family, drinking hot cocoa, and watching sappy movies that make you cry. Story 1 - Narwhal Tusk Surrender Bins Installed Throughout The UK Story 2 - New Greta On The Shelf Doll Will Track Your Climate Sins Story 3 - Judge Grants IPad Sole Custody Of Young Boy It Raised In Parents' Absence Interview - Mike Adams Hate Mail - A special hate mail reading by Dave DeAndrea. Subscriber-Exclusive Content - The second part of the Mike Adams interview gets salty. Also Kyle and Ethan reveal unused headlines and give a behind-the -scenes peak of the creative process here at the Babylon Bee. Become a paid subscriber at https://babylonbee.com/plans
In a world of fake news, this is news you can trust.
You're listening to the Babylon Bee.
Factually inaccurate, morally true.
Here are your infallible hosts, Kyle Mann and Ethan Nicole.
Welcome to the Babylon Bee podcast.
I'm Kyle Mann, and I'm sitting here with a jolly bearded man wearing a coat.
That's right, everybody.
It's me, Ethan.
It's Ethan Nicole.
They can't see me.
You don't need to reveal that I'm a jolly.
Really, it's code for morbidly obese.
I didn't say that.
I simply said jolly in a coat.
Nobody calls a skinny guy jolly.
He's a skinny, jolly person, you know.
He says things like, respectable woman, respectable woman, respectable woman.
You're just putting bad thoughts in people's heads by making them get that joke.
Ignore that joke, everybody.
I thought of that joke the other day.
I pitched it in our little writers group.
Oh, yeah.
Absolutely no reaction.
Completely dead.
I haven't been keeping up.
It's actually been a little dead on the reactions.
I'm not sure why.
Yeah.
I think it's a little fast-paced for a lot of people.
Yeah, like I'll get on there and because we miss the headlines.
We have our secret group, you know, where we post headlines.
And I'm like, oh, yeah, I forgot.
There's a new picture.
There's a new, because we do new posts every week, a new thread every week.
And I'll realize it's like Tuesday.
I'm like, oh, I haven't looked yet.
And there's like 60 things on there.
It's just hard to read all these.
It's hard to sift through them all.
But anybody, anyway, everybody, it is December.
December is here.
And it is Christmas season, unless you're a grumpy Presbyterian or something.
We don't like Christmas.
We already did a Christmas thing and went to this big mission and Christmas display of lights last night.
Oh, you did?
Yeah.
Mission in.
Yeah.
Out there in Riverside.
Yeah.
Cool.
Yeah, because my grandma's in town and great grandma, the kids' great-grandma's in town.
So we took them.
And it was great because it went so early, it wasn't super crowded.
You know, I'm kind of a Grinch all the way up until after Thanksgiving.
And then it's Christmas tree and hot chocolate by the fire.
Yeah, we got our tree up.
I do like the Christmas season.
I love it.
I'm sap.
So Merry Christmas, everybody.
We're going to be talking about Christmas for several weeks, building up to our big Christmas special.
We're doing one, I think.
Which we're not really sure what it's going to be, but should we tell people right now to send in Christmas stories?
Yeah, if you guys have any great stories at Christmas, either heartwarming or funny, send them to podcasts at BabylonB.com.
Christmas play stories, Christmas fails.
Yes.
Epic Christmas fails, perhaps?
Yeah.
Epic Christmas wins.
Or like when your parents try to make Christmas spiritual and they're like, all right, everybody, open your present one at a time and do a prayer before you open it.
Or if your mom was dying and you had to get the special Christmas shoes for her and you went to a store and a man gave you the shoes even though you couldn't afford them.
That's the plot of the Christmas shoes.
I didn't know there was anybody dying in that.
Really?
I never listened to it.
It's one of those sappy songs like the country songs that try to tell a story.
Get you to cry.
All right, but we're not going to make you cry in this episode.
We're going to make you laugh and make you informed.
Yeah, we had an interview with Mike Adams because we were finishing our trifecta.
We did Scott Derrickson.
We did Scott Adams and now we're doing Mike Adams.
We didn't have somebody Scott?
We didn't have anybody with the last name Scott, did we?
Not yet.
Okay.
We need a Scott and then we need a Michael Scott.
Michael Scott would be good.
And then we need another Derek, like a Derek, maybe a Derek Scott.
If anybody knows an Adam Derrickson or something like that.
But Mike Adams is a professor at UNC Wilmington, and he won a First Amendment, kind of a big First Amendment case having to do with freedom of speech and such.
Had the unfortunate experience of being a college professor on a campus, and then he converted.
He was all like left-wing and everything.
You're supposed to be, and then he suddenly converted to Christianity and became more conservative.
I guess that was when it goes without saying.
It goes without saying, yeah.
And that caused a lot of trouble.
So we talk about that.
And we talk a lot, a lot of stuff.
We'll get to that.
But first.
But wait.
There's some stories for the week.
Every week, there are stories.
These are some of them.
Buttery smooth transition.
Yeah.
Dan will fix it.
We've handed off all the editing to Dan.
Narwhal Tusk Surrenderbins installed throughout the UK.
Anytime you get to make narwhal jokes, it's a good time.
I was talking to Dan, and I was like, this joke would have made no sense just a few days ago.
And if you told me, hey, Kyle, the big hit article that you're going to put up on Monday is going to be about narwhal tusk surrenderbins.
And you're like, what?
But yeah, there was a terrorist attack on the London Bridge, which is in London.
London, yeah.
And thank you for that.
Fact check.
And there was an Islamic terrorist, an austere religious scholar, and I guess he was trying to go on a stabbing spree.
And these people charge, he killed, he did kill a couple people.
Jeez.
And these people charged up.
There was a Polish immigrant that charged up using a narwhal tusk.
That's amazing.
To like subdue him, and they waited until police.
I guess they had it hanging up as like a decoration in a restaurant or something.
Did he snap it off a narwhal or was it just up there?
Yeah, he went to the waters of the river.
Was it a taxidermy narwhal?
Oh, actually, break one off a little bit.
I was thinking like he went, he went, it was like mystical.
Like, he went to the River Thames and he's like, he pulled out a con shell and he's like, and this narwhal comes up and he breaks the horn off.
Thanks, Mr. Narwhal.
Whatever sound they make.
Was that what the sound they make?
I have no, I can't believe narwhals are real sort of things.
Porpoise-like, right?
I guess.
It's like a whale.
It's a whale.
It's like a whale.
It is a whale.
Apparently, that tusk is a tooth, which makes no sense to me.
I mean, it doesn't have to be a bad thing.
It doesn't get out of their mouth.
It's a forehead.
It goes out of their mouth.
But maybe it grows from a similar spot, like in the.
I don't know.
I don't know.
This has been your lesson in biology.
I've been wanting to do this lovely idea.
If narwhal tusks are outlawed, I like the idea that narwhals are being booted from the zoos in the UK now.
The sharp objects.
It's crazy.
Every time I see that, I know it's a different culture.
Maybe we just don't get it.
But there are these police accounts on Twitter that, you know, official Twitter account of, I don't know, name a British-sounding town.
Winchestershire, Yorksville.
Teesside.
What?
Teesside.
That's right.
Because it's T.
Yeah, but it's T-E-E.
I went there.
Tisdale.
Okay.
So anyway, so it's like, you know, the police of Winchestershire, and they're like, you know, look at all these sharp objects we just confiscated in a sweep.
And they'll take a picture of like an ordinary pair of household scissors.
Type tools, steak knives, a screwdriver.
It's like, what?
What?
And I can't believe it's not parody.
Like, I had to check it out.
Is this real?
Is this parody?
Yeah, when I went there, I remember them having, there was people having conversations about knife violence and this weird.
It was weird.
Just kind of just the, because, you know, you're not used to hearing people talk like that.
Like, oh, there's been a rash of knife violence lately.
I guess it's because different we got guns.
We have we have the best violence maybe ever.
Yeah.
We have the we're top.
We're at the top of the violence food chain.
Guns.
This is getting dark.
Let's move on.
Anyway, awkward.
So I was rolling pin.
If you get rid of all the knives, then what's the next violence?
Rolling pin violence?
Yeah.
All the dull cooking utensils.
Yeah.
Frying pan.
You can just imagine like in a few years, all the knives are gone.
It's like they have the frying pan.
What are people cutting their food with?
Well, if we're all vegan, you don't need a knife, right?
Because there's nothing vegan in your knife for.
Well, you get a choppy.
You can chop up vegetables.
Yeah, but you can just eat tofu.
That's just squishy.
If we could just eat squishy food, we could get rid of all these knives.
Well, it's like in all the sci-fi stuff.
Eventually, everybody's just eating like a nutrition cube.
Yeah, on a spaceship.
Yeah, and then you just flip on your iPhone, you just Bluetooth into the food what flavor you want it to be.
Yeah.
Steak.
And then you just eat it.
It approximates the taste of steak.
It's like that gum on Willy Wonka that changes from like, it's like a full meal.
I always thought it was such a cool thing.
You're like, oh, it's biscuits and gravy.
But who wants to eat biscuits and gravy that has the texture of chewing gum?
That's true.
I don't understand.
That's true.
It's like those jelly beans that are like steak or bacon or whatever.
Yeah, or popcorn.
Okay, I like popcorn when it's crunchy, but I don't know if I want just the essence of popcorn in a squishy bean.
I wonder how they do that because it's got to be just random chemicals.
Yeah.
Someone's just trying different chemicals.
They're like, hey, what does this taste like?
Does this sound like popcorn?
You're like, yeah, I imagine they just had like this petri dish and they just keep zapping it with like different colors of lightning and like they pour different chemicals in.
They're like, oh, that tastes kind of like vomit.
Let's make that the new Harry Potter vomit.
Jelly bean.
Hey, wait a minute.
This tastes like vomit.
Great job, Bob.
You promoted.
You did it.
Ooh, Orange Julius.
I don't know.
I know, Orange Creamsicle.
Tastes like real narwhal.
Yeah.
You see how I brought that back?
You did.
I forgot we were talking about narwhals.
Narwhal tusks.
We should move on.
Why do you always want to move on so fast?
It feels long.
Feels like we've been talking about this for a long time.
Well, I'm sorry that I'm boring.
I don't want to bore everybody out there.
We get a lot of criticism for carrying on.
We get more criticism for not talking long enough.
Do we?
No, I don't know.
All right.
Next story.
New Greta on the shelf doll will track your climate sins.
Greta.
Hey, where the heck is our how dare you clip?
This is the prime.
How dare you?
Oh, that was quick.
That was very fast, Dan.
Good job.
Oh, I need to mention that this was pitched by a subscriber.
This is one of our subscriber headline forum ideas.
The idea was a little bit different, but I kind of morphed it into this.
And it was by Mark Scheffler.
Shuffler.
I really emphasized the I wonder if you ever do, if you have a last name like that, and then you can decide what shuffling means, and then you start a business.
And then you're a shuffler.
I don't know.
I don't know what that means.
Like there's a neighborhood locksmith and hardware store and the Scheffler.
Who's the Scheffler?
Is that a long lost, I don't know.
We're going off the topic again.
Well, like how Smith is.
Yeah, because most last names came from jobs.
Yeah, like Tanner.
Yeah, so whenever I hear interesting last names, like we interviewed a guy named James Breakwell, like what's the people, where'd you get Breakwell from?
His family went around and just broke wells.
Yeah, breaking wells.
These are obsolete.
We got plumbing now.
You want us to take care of that well for you?
Or the breakwells?
There's other ones I was thinking of.
I can't remember.
They're not in my brain right now.
Nicole.
It's the great ones.
Yeah, it was Nicole.
Well, that's French.
It means bear fight.
They were all women.
All women?
Well, because it's a woman name.
Yeah.
That's possible.
Bunch of nuns in an abbey.
So, Greta on the shelf.
So, here we are mocking children.
I just want to say your Photoshop is awesome.
Great job mocking the little girl.
But I really tried to not mock her.
Like, I could have gone crazy making her ugly or whatever.
I was really trying to just make it look as if her face turned into a painted version of her face.
Yeah, I actually don't like when the comedy is like, look at what's the one we might have talked about before.
Ocasio-Cortez, she looks like a donkey.
And they'll do these cartoons.
It's like, there's enough to make fun of.
Yeah.
Without saying you look like a donkey.
Or the Michael Moore, where he's making giant fat jokes.
Oh, he's so fat.
Look how fat he is.
He's large.
There's a lot of him.
I don't think we're really going to be successful until I get that kind of hate.
Like, I haven't really got fun.
Maybe when we start doing video.
I would love to be made into a hate cartoon, but I don't know what they would do with me.
What would they do with my crazy hair, maybe?
Oh, right now.
People can't see Kyle's hair.
It's like.
I rolled out.
I was like a crazy rush this morning and I run in.
I dove into the podcast chair like a minute before we had to record.
It looks like one of those Russian hats.
Like a fur hat.
Like Marge Simpson.
Who's a character from The Simpsons, which is a television show, which I didn't know until just recently.
Hey, you've been watching that, huh?
Yeah.
So anyway, Greta will judge you, and she will put coal in your stocking, but then she'll get mad at you if you burn it because it's a fossil fuel.
Right.
Do young Earth creationists think it's fossil fuel?
Oh, yeah.
What do they think it is?
Whoever thought of that.
What do they think?
If you are a YEC believer, let us think.
I don't know what the working theory is.
Did you say God juice?
God juice.
If the Earth was created that fast, then he just injected it with a big syringe or whatever in the process.
It was like basting a turkey.
Yeah.
It was like a big baste.
All right, just a little bit of this.
Yep.
Because they're going to have SUVs eventually.
You're going to need this dinosaur syrup.
That was made from fake dinosaurs that aren't real.
Right?
I don't know.
Well, we thoroughly covered that one.
Story number three.
Judge Grant's iPad, sole custody of young boy it raised in his parents' absence.
I think you stole my headline for this one.
This was Seth's idea.
What?
So maybe Seth stole your idea?
Seth stole my headline.
I don't know.
What did you have?
I've been trying to do one about Netflix.
I said parents come home.
This isn't the exact headline because it's going to be messy, but parents return from date to find iPad making out with boyfriend on the couch.
Oh, that's why I didn't use your idea.
That's right.
He might have pitched something like this a long time ago, but then you brought it up and said, oh, I got to do this.
I think that might have been on one of the subscriber portions where he read headlines.
Something about Netflix.
Yeah.
Yeah.
When me and Dan went to Ethan's house, his kids just had the iPads.
Yeah.
I had to.
The color-coded, the color-coded Amazon or Van Dyck?
All the parents have those ones that like the giant thing that they cannot destroy, the indestructible case.
They can throw it across the room.
Yeah.
And Calvin, my two-year-old, is at the age where he'll just literally do that for no reason.
We'll just throw it across the room.
So he has the big, thick, pink one.
I used to judge the parents that would have the kids sitting in front of the TV or whatever.
At the time, there wasn't really smartphones, but now it's like, you know what, son, here.
Yeah.
Give him the device.
Have the device.
Yeah.
And now it's like, you know what?
No.
Watch TV.
You don't need to rot your brains on YouTube.
Watch an actual TV show.
Then you feel like you're doing a good parent because you're like, no, watch something with a story.
Yeah.
Watch uh what the Sopranos, yeah, watch Breaking Bad, watch Breaking Bad, son.
You need to learn all about drug culture.
Well, are we ready to get to our interview?
I'll just mention one more thing.
I might have mentioned this with Seth before, but when he, when he was it's funny because he pitched this idea when I was at his house, his kids, he's like, Here, you know, he's showing them the phone, and they're just watching videos of like CGI Spider-Man punching CGI Hulk.
For it's like Hulk and Spider-Man fight for two hours, and someone just did this really lame, like oh, like the really bad CGI, really bad CGI, or they did it in a video game in a Grand Theft Auto mod or something.
They're just punching each other, it's like a classic strange people that are like all dressed up as superheroes in their house, and they're just acting out all these weird things.
Yeah, those ones are very strange.
A lot of them are tying each other up a lot.
It's really weird.
I don't know.
My son is obsessed with Pac-Man, and so he Googled, he searches Pac-Man YouTube video.
Just Pac-Man, yep.
We have an arcade cabinet, and he plays Pac-Man.
So then he goes on YouTube, he's like, Pac-Man videos, and he'll he'll just watch there.
And there's thousands of them.
Like if you search Pac-Man videos, people do things where they dress up like Pac-Man in their house and run around and chase ghosts.
Okay, they'll do CGI ones.
Real, you know, Pac-Man comes to life and destroys the city.
And it's like, hom, hom, hom.
It's crazy.
It must be because he's kind of easy to animate, like this round thing.
So people do circle.
It's called a circle.
So anyway, no, it's a, it's actually a sphere based on 3D thing.
Shut up, Ethan.
All right.
I've never heard Kyle talk like that.
All right, here we go.
I wasn't allowed to say shut up when I was universal.
No, it's letting loose.
One other thing we wanted to mention is that we do have a Babylon Bee store.
It's been up for a while, and some people are still emailing us and saying, hey, you guys should have a store.
But we already have one.
So go to shop.babylonbee.com or just go to BabylonB.com.
You can find our store link there, our shop link.
We have some cool stuff for the holidays.
We have an Everyone is on the naughty list shirt with a picture of Calvinist Santa, which is just glorious.
You can tell those Walmart employees how you feel about happy holidays because there's one that says, if you say happy holidays, I will punch you in the face.
And Ethan's favorite is a shirt that says candy canes are gross.
So if you think candy canes are gross or you just want some cool Christmas stuff, go to shop.babylonbee.com.
Probably running out of time for to get him time for the holidays, so do it quickly.
We've also got other stuff non-Christmas related.
We got a popular one that's got a picture of Mount Rushmore on a shirt, but it's got GK Chesterton and J.R. Tolkien and McDonald and Lewis on it.
So give that a look.
Some cool stuff, bugs, hats, lots of lots of fun stuff.
So check that out.
So we're going to talk with Mike Adams now.
Let's do it.
Presenting an exclusive Babylon B interview.
We are sitting here with Mike Adams.
Hi, Mike.
How you doing?
Good.
How are you?
I'm doing fine.
Good.
Yeah, this is Mike.
What I love about this is that first, we interviewed Scott Derrickson two weeks ago, and then we interviewed Scott Adams the next week.
And now we're interviewing Mike Adams.
And then we just need a Mike.
We just need a Mike Derrickson next week.
And then we'll just keep it going.
And Adam Scott.
Adam Scott.
That's a real name, right?
Isn't there a real, like an actor or something?
Is that a person?
I don't know.
Well, we know Mike Adams is a real person because he's sitting there.
He's right here looking at us.
And he's just like, what is happening?
This is real news.
This is real news.
So Mike is a professor at UNC Wilmington.
And he is a pro-life speaker and a First Amendment advocate.
Is that accurate?
Yeah, that's accurate news.
It is.
It's not fake news.
Yeah, and he's a town hall columnist, and he writes for Daily Wire from time to time.
Yeah.
And so he's basically a Nazi, if not Nazi adjacent.
And alt-right, maybe we can use Alt-Wright as a discussion.
It's the First Amendment all right now.
It is, really.
Okay.
Oh, that's hate.
Yeah.
First Amendment is hate speech.
It's a dog whistle the moment you say First Amendment, you're like, oh, you're one of those guys.
One of those guys in the First Amendment.
First Amendment guy.
He's currently holding his right arm up at about a 45-degree angle.
What's next?
Second Amendment?
And then you're going to have a Third Amendment.
It's a real slippery slope once you start going.
So we were checking out your articles on Town Hall, your recent ones.
Oh, my goodness.
And you're very, you talk about guns a lot.
That was just, you know, just a recent thing by request.
Don't try to distance yourself.
I thought you were a pro-life speaker, and you're just talking about shooting all the time.
Yeah.
And so we're kind of wondering, like, is something about to go down that we need to know about?
Like, what kind of, is there an apocalypse coming?
It's like when the preppers all actually go out and move to the hills.
He doesn't even got to say anything yet.
Is there something about to go down?
Could you define about to?
Do you mean in your lifetime?
There are people living in the hills that are planning to.
No, I don't think something's about to go down.
Yeah.
You're at the forefront of the free speech battle, right?
You're on the campuses.
You get picketed.
Give us a nutshell of your story.
We want to hear.
We think you've got a conversion story.
You started on the left, right?
It's kind of interesting.
You know, the year before I started at UNC Wilmington in 1993, man, my dad was freaking out because I'm a leftist and he's a conservative from Birmingham, Alabama, and all this.
And he said, well, if you're really liberal, you know, you'll read the other side.
And I sat down and read a book by Dinesh D'Souza called Illiberal Education.
And that was the year before I finished graduate school.
And I just had this sense that something kind of screwy was brewing on the college campuses.
And I read some of his stuff about political correctness and campus speech codes.
Do you often read the work of felons?
Convicted Nazis.
Convicted Nazi felons?
Yes, I do.
But I knew something was kind of screwed up about the campus.
And I got there.
And sure enough, I found we had speech codes in place.
And I kind of felt like there was something, there was an undercurrent there that the diversity movement was going in a direction that was going to be problematic at some point.
It wasn't a problem for me because I was a leftist and an atheist, working with a bunch of Marxist feminists in a sociology and criminology department.
And then a few years later, after that, I converted.
And, you know, it kind of was in two phases.
I converted to theism in 96.
I had something to do with some human rights work I was doing in South America.
And I kind of arrived at a conclusion.
I had a really stupid worldview that, you know, you ought not to judge other cultures by the standards of your own.
And, you know, I'm sitting there, you know, going into prisons and interviewing prisoners where they're torturing them basically, you know, and shocking confessions out of them and stuff like that.
And so, you know, I got shaken out of my stupid relativist worldview in about 1996, but I didn't become a Christian until about three and a half years after that.
I was interviewing a mentally retarded murderer and rapist on death row, and he was about to be executed, and the guy had IQ of 53.
And in that conversation, he read John 3.16 to me, and I thought, this is kind of embarrassing.
You know, this guy had learned how to read and write, and he'd actually read the Bible.
And I was a tenured professor who considered himself to be educated, and I'd actually never read the Bible.
So I actually went through this thing in 2000 of sitting down and reading the Bible and about half a dozen apologetics and I converted.
That's when things started to change at that point after.
So first you read a book by a felon and then you got converted by a circular guy.
Be careful in prisons, you know.
It's interesting what you'll find in prison.
It's all coming together.
But really, after the conversion to Christianity, then it was kind of, you know, the reaction from the colleagues was a little bit strange.
And then, you know, I wasn't quite a leper yet, but then 9-11 happens.
And if you were paying any attention at all to the news, then, you know, it wasn't just that we had all these, you know, foreign affairs issues to deal with.
The campuses were going crazy.
I mean, we had just this explosion in free speech controversies.
And I was one of them.
A very simple situation where a college student who happened to be a Marxist, who had written to me, and I think it was like 21 other people, she'd basically blamed the attacks on America by saying it was America's fault.
It was America's foreign policy that produced this situation.
And I just wrote back to her privately.
And it was a stupid thing to write just a few days after 9-11.
People were ticked.
You know, stop with the Marxist blame America thing.
Take a week off from that.
Take a quick breather.
Wait until Manhattan quits burning.
Just settle down with that.
And I had friends who were missing at that point.
It was like four days after 9-11.
So I wrote her back and I didn't say, you're an idiot.
I said, I didn't attack her personally.
I said, I think your speech is bigoted and unintelligent and immature.
But I pointed out it was constitutionally protected.
No big deal, right?
Except her mother is a college administrator.
Oops.
And she, oops, she does, you know, what any good Marxist feminist will do when, you know, her feelings are hurt and she calls her mommy, you know, basically.
And she tries to sick the UNC Wilmington administration on me.
And the mom was very level-headed.
Very rational, very rational.
No, but it was really interesting because they did find an email use policy that said you're not allowed to berate people over email or intimidate them or make them feel uncomfortable in any way.
So there you go, the campus speech code.
And so what happened was they called me on the phone and said, we're going to have to dig through your email account and see whether you said any of those nasty things about her to other people.
And I said, no, you're not.
You're not going to do that because we actually have a statutory right to privacy, even associated with our own email use with the campus computers.
And they were violating their own state public records laws.
And so I got on the phone and called the Foundation for Individual Rights and Education in Philadelphia.
And those guys are incredible.
You got to love them because it's one of the rare places where you have Jews and Muslims and Christians and Democrats and Republicans all working together for the purpose of advancing free speech.
And they got a hold of my case and they brought John Leo of U.S. News and World Report into it to write about it.
And he interviewed the school and me and said, oh, we didn't read any of these emails.
And they actually denied doing it.
It was awesome.
He just didn't believe him and he wrote about it.
And Sean Hannity read his article and calls me on the phone at the office and said, would you like to go on Fox Needings?
I said, oh, this is getting pretty interesting.
Did he say?
Answer the question, yes or no.
Answer the question, yes or no.
Colms was alive back then and he was nicer.
It was weird because I go on the air and Colms is on my side too.
I'm like, this is a freak show, man.
I wasn't expecting, you know, both sides were supporting me.
But then Limbaugh saw the segment and he picked it up and just the whole controversy went crazy.
And that just all led to me writing the town hall column.
And it's like you step out and you challenge what the universities are doing.
It's totally crazy.
And you do a national TV appearance and all of a sudden you start getting emails.
It's like that exact same thing happened on this campus.
And you realize it's not just a few Ivy League crazy schools, left-wing schools out there, by any stretch of the imagination.
I mean, it is public universities in the heartland, in the South, in the Midwest, everywhere, and even at the junior college level where these administrators are just enforcing these wildly, overly broad and unconstitutional speech codes.
And so that's kind of how that unfolded.
And, you know, thank God I'm at the YAF, Patrick Coyle at Young America's Foundation.
And, you know, I think I've spoken on about 100 college campuses in the last 15 years, kind of trying to push back and do something about this.
And what's really weird is over the last 15 years, I felt like that went really well for about 10 years.
And then this weird thing that's happened, it has only been over the course of, I would say about the last four years or so, where you see in droves the students pushing you back.
And Trump's fault.
Well, you know, I noticed the election in 2016.
Okay, massive meltdown, right?
Massive emotional meltdown.
My colleagues were all dressed in black at work the day after the election, right?
But I saw it about a year before that.
You've got to remember what the meltdown that occurred at Mizu and the meltdown that occurred at Yale over the Halloween costumes.
Oh, yeah.
That was in the fall of 2015.
So just at some point, you know, the students decided, you know, I've got a choice between being free and being comfortable.
I'd rather be comfortable.
You can't be both.
You know, if we were to design a safe space for you, what kind of things would we say?
Yeah, like puppies, gun magazines, guns hanging all over the walls, tiger skin rugs.
I guess I'm one of the rare people who actually just, you know, I enjoy the back and forth, the discomfort and the tension that's supposed to occur on a college campus.
But that's a thing of the past.
So, you know, really, it's classical liberalism is sort of fading into the background and being replaced with something else that, you know, they want to, many of them want to call themselves liberals, but it's not what it is.
This progressive leftist movement is just kind of illiberal to its core, really.
And yeah, it's a big deal because, you know, I can sit here and talk and write and speak about the craziness that goes on on the college campus, but it doesn't stay on the college campus.
You know, it's, it's the wackiest, craziest thing that you see happening there will become the norm in the society in 20 years.
Yeah.
So you ended up winning your court case.
Oh, yeah.
I mean, I used to say every man deserves his day in court.
Now I say decade in court because that was just ridiculous.
You know, we had to go on for seven and a half years.
And I'm lucky I had the ADF representing me and David French, who I was about to say of the National Review, he recently left there.
But he's an incredible First Amendment attorney.
And I mean, we just had to fight for years to get just some kind of a representation in front of a jury just to get past all of the legal wrangling.
And it was just such a weird case because it was so clear.
You know, I was getting fantastic teaching evaluations and peer evaluations, you know, when I went up for tenure.
And then the conversion happens.
It's just a year or two after that.
And you've got these great teaching evaluations.
And all of a sudden, the colleagues, I tank.
I mean, I'm at the, I convert.
I'm at the absolute bottom in terms of, you know, I become openly pro-life, for example.
And there's just this huge divergence.
And it was kind of crazy.
You know, I'd won two teaching awards before the conversion, like university-wide, professor of the year.
And then in 2006, I go up for promotion to full professor.
And the Marxist feminist chair who was responsible for writing the letter and communicating to me what happened, she says you're deficient in all three areas.
I mean, it just didn't pass the straight face test.
You're deficient in every way, including teaching.
And, you know, so I'm real appreciative the ADF was there.
I couldn't have, you know, footed the bill to do that on my own.
Yeah.
So we get into it and we think, you know, we'll just go in and go into discovery and we'll find them saying, you know, creepy, inappropriate, viewpoint discriminatory things in their emails and, you know, in the deliberation process.
And we'll get in there and we'll expose that and that'll be the end of it.
Well, that's not quite the way it went.
It was just bizarre.
You know, I've been accusing the university of in my columns of being just anti-free speech for many years.
And then all of a sudden, when it got down to discovery and the evidence came out, the university comes back and said, well, you know, his columns and his speeches and all that was clearly protected, was clearly protected by the First Amendment.
But when he mentioned them on his promotion application, they lost all First Amendment protection.
So this is this weird theory that you can engage in free speech and it's protected, but then speak about your free speech, think about it, and then it retroactively loses its First Amendment protection.
I mean, this was just a crazy thing that they presented to the court.
And unfortunately, the judge bought it and he throws my case out of court.
We've got to go all the way up to the Fourth Circuit in Richmond to get this thing corrected.
And, you know, think about it.
They were actually arguing that they should be able to engage in viewpoint discrimination.
They're a university.
And, you know, it's as if for years I'd been saying, you guys don't support free speech.
And they're saying, you can't say that, basically.
I mean, it's just absolutely surreal.
So we had to go through this.
And finally, finally we win on the legal grounds.
And we were moved into this process where the court tries to force us into settlement negotiations for a couple of years.
And these public universities are just, they're spending your money, the taxpayer dollars.
They don't care at all.
And they just go in there and decide they're going to insult me.
And so that went on for a couple of years.
And finally, we get in front of a jury.
And man, you get in front of like normal people who aren't working at a university and they hear the evidence.
It didn't take them two hours.
So, I mean, you know, it's like we have a seven and a half year case and the deliberation, I timed it.
It was an hour and 50 minutes.
They select a four-person.
They order pizza and eat it and deliberate on a seven and a half year case in less than two hours.
And they come back unanimous.
He wins.
It's extremely obvious that they were trying to say, we don't want any pro-life conservative Christian to have the rank of full professor at a public university.
So that was a crazy thing that consumed, what, a third of my career as a professor in litigation.
So there you go.
A large chunk of your life.
I love that.
Yeah.
I love like the like there's just no self-reflection that whole idea that they would say you can't say that we're against free speech.
Like that's we're going to not allow you to say that.
Like you not see the oh yeah.
It's like did anybody step back and say maybe we're the bad guys.
You know there was no that's normal though on a campus.
You know there have been.
You know there have been cases.
I've been involved in working with students who were fighting against crazy policies like these speech zones.
You know where the students are told, oh, if you want to express your point of view, you've got to go through a permitting process, you know, and there's this little tiny area on the campus.
You have to stand within this little area.
That's less than the size of a football field, less than one percent of the campus, like a smoking section.
Yeah, and I yeah, it's so funny, it's.
I had these kids at UNCG many years ago.
I was helping them, you know, formulate a good way to protest and I said, well, just go in without a permit and you know, tell the administration and the cops and everything that you're going to be there and just willfully violate this thing to trigger a court challenge right, so they decide, this wasn't my idea, it was their idea that they're signs, they're libertarians and so they're fun, you know.
But they had a weed amazingly, got off their couch.
They had signs though, that said UNCG hates free speech okay, and so they're stepping out and the students are ticketed, you know, for a violation of this respect compact, and they're brought in.
You know they.
They begin to convene the little trials, you know the expulsion hearings and all this before it all gets interrupted.
And and once again, you hate free speech.
No, you can't say that.
So that's hilarious.
It just happens all the time.
It's fantastic.
That is the perfect bait.
Oh, we need.
What we need is a satire site to write.
Never mind.
If only there was a good satire site out there, quality content that could do that.
It's too bad.
Fun stuff though, it's too bad.
Yeah, so you win the case.
Uh, I think the judgment was something in the range of a buttload of money.
You say buttload on the on the beat.
Oh, we're gonna have to bleep it out.
We're gonna have to bleep that out.
Okay yeah, we have to bleep it right now.
Let me get the bleeper ready.
Yeah, so you got wait.
Do you have the bleep ready?
I don't know.
I gotta find it.
I don't know if I got replaced.
We're very slow there.
It is on the draw.
Okay, I was right.
I didn't think I was gonna be using this.
Can I do it again?
Yeah, so the judgment was that you got a flower bed of money.
Yes, and uh, I didn't.
Okay I, I got 50 grand in back pay, my attorneys.
Then they got uh, the judgment was 710 000 in legal fees.
So so how, how many guns did you buy?
I, you know I, I actually the main expenditure was guitars.
I did buy a couple of guns, but I bought a couple guitars and hung them up on the wall of my house and I actually yeah, I named them after a couple of the defendants, you know, and uh, that's Rosemary, that's Kimberly, they're hanging right there in my uh, they're feminists, by the way, they're hanging.
They really, they really wail, yeah.
So what kind of Christian music do you play in your Connie West?
Only only kind of His old stuff.
No, I actually used to be back in the heathen days.
I supported myself in graduate school playing music.
So that was the job that I had.
And it was not Christian music or a Christian style of life by any stretch of the imagination.
Gangster rap?
Not quite.
No, it was acoustic.
We played the drunk college kids all the time and actually made a lot of cash money.
So, and reported all of it to the IRS just to clarify that.
Just to clarify.
He used to be shaggier, I'm guessing.
Do you have like longer hair?
It was down in my sternum.
Okay.
It was brutal.
Everyone's got a past.
So Striper or Carmen?
A lot of Led Zeppelin.
A lot of Led Zeppelin.
Well, have you ever met Carmen?
Yeah.
We always asked that.
You know who Carmen is?
Who's Carmen?
You're a real Christian?
Oh, he was a Carmen who converted her.
What year did you convert?
2000.
Oh, okay.
Yeah, you missed Carmen.
Yeah.
We ask all our guests or we try to ask all our guests if they've met Carmen.
So that's the one.
He's one of the most fascinating figures of the 80s Christian.
He was a rapper, a white 90s.
White Christian rapper.
A white Christian rapper.
Way too old to be rapping.
He was probably in his 40s or something doing rap and early white rap.
And anyway, yeah.
So anyway, anyway, sorry.
That's a fork in the road.
All right.
So the natural thing to talk about after Carmen is pro-life activism.
So you do a lot of pro-life speeches.
Where do you see that discussion going?
Where do you see that going in our country right now?
It's interesting in the political realm.
It's as if we're dividing.
You see this reaction in both directions just in recent months.
It's been pretty amazing.
It's like a line is being drawn in the sand.
And you have all the states, of course, and many of them in the South and in the Midwest that want to trigger a challenge to Roe versus Wade.
And the other side just digging in, states like New York going in exactly the opposite direction.
That's where you sort of look at the fracturing of this country.
And to be serious for a moment, it's like you wonder in the long term how these different states with completely different values are going to function in the same republic.
It's really amazing.
It's like the pro-life movement, politically speaking, right now.
It really draws out just the deep divisions in this country.
And I started off as a pro-choicer, obviously.
And thank God, I was fortunate enough to have a good family friend, Lisa Chambers, my mother's best friend, when she was alive, very adamantly pro-life, just got in touch with me and just kind of had a short discussion with me about the basic issue, the question of when life begins.
And before I had let go of any left-wing position that I had, I actually sort of began to look at that and the science behind what was going on.
And that was my first flip on a political issue from the left-wing position to the more conservative position was becoming pro-life.
And over the years, I had no intention of ever going out there and actually being a pro-life speaker.
You know, when I started writing the columns and doing things out there in public, it was all this First Amendment advocacy.
And then the other side just kind of started to get really brazen.
I remember, you guys probably remember this.
It was around 2004 when Planned Parenthood decides they're going to start printing the I Had an Abortion t-shirts and start selling them to college students.
It's like, okay, you know, I'm never going to shame a woman who has had an abortion.
And I know so many women who have had them and deeply regretted them.
But this idea that you're going to boast about this and put it on a t-shirt on a college campus, I wrote a column about that.
And all of a sudden, the phone rings.
And I think it was Michigan Right to Life.
Said, would you like to do one of our pro-life banquets?
And I started doing them and eventually met Scott Klusendorf, who I think is probably the greatest pro-life apologist.
out there.
He has just really nailed the philosophical and scientific aspects of the pro-life argument.
And I got to be friends with him and started to kind of do some of these apologetics lectures at various places, including college campuses.
And then, you know, in recent years, started to debate.
And, you know, largely it's been just a response to the brazenness of the pro-choice position.
You know, I debated Dr. Willie Parker last year, the Christian abortionist who said that he is doing God's will.
And in his book, he said he'd done 10,000 abortions.
He said he could do as many as 30 in a day.
Wow.
And, you know, he was called to do that and suggested it was the parable of the good Samaritan that led him to do that.
So what's the logic of like, how is that doing God's work?
Well, it's interesting for him.
For him.
Put on your willy hat.
Yeah.
He wasn't thinking at all, of course, about coming to the aid of the unborn.
It's the idea that there's this distressed woman who can't handle the socioeconomic hardship of having a child.
He's going to be the provider there.
Increasingly in our society, we're having, you know, pro-lifers are shutting down abortion mills.
And, you know, he wrote in his book, you know, there's only one abortion clinic now in the state of Mississippi.
And, you know, I've got to get out there if no one else does this.
You know, if I don't do this, no one else will do it.
And so it's kind of interesting.
It's just absolutely clueless, just like everyone in the pro-choice movement about the idea of another human being involved.
And so I see this brazenness, you know, and I think, you know, the first thing that pops up into my mind is that the church must not be doing a very good job of addressing this issue if people are so brazenly going out there and saying, I'm doing this in the name of God.
You know, he walks into the abortion clinic and he prays with the women and joins hands with them and he refers to it as a ministry.
And it's just absolutely surreal.
But, you know, every now and then I just find that, you know, I never intended to be a pro-life speaker and advocate, but you just see stuff like that.
And there's something that just clicks within you where you say someone has to respond.
Well, you know, these babies would have been poor.
So there you go.
There you go.
It's a close one.
They almost were born into poverty.
It's Jonathan Swift all over again.
How are we going to cure child poverty?
Can we kill all the poor children?
It's pretty simple.
They can't be poor because.
There you go.
Only a sicka would want children to be poor.
Yeah.
So why do you want children to be poor, Mike?
Do you have another sound you can do this?
I'm just going to go for.
I know what to say.
Oh, that's making sense.
We need how dare you.
Where's how dare you?
How dare you?
We have how dare you.
There you go.
Sorry, I'm not ready.
I wasn't ready for today.
He's like, we're never ready.
I'm never ready.
I got Frank laughing.
I think I might have lost How Dare You Fire.
We did a movie episode.
Oh, and you erased How Dare You?
No, it's on there.
How dare you?
There it is.
Was that her?
Yeah.
So, yeah, so when did the shift happen from safe, legal, and rare to like shout your abortion?
Celebrate.
Yeah.
Good times.
Abortion come on.
You know, I guess a lot of it has to do with technology.
Seriously, this is, you know, this generation has been exposed to ultrasound technology.
And back when I was in college, I mean, people legitimately were persuaded, were reasonably persuaded when someone said, oh, it's just a clump of cells.
Yeah.
You know, it's an undifferentiated mass of tissue.
Back in the 1980s, you know, no one that I knew had actually seen ultrasound technology.
And I just think that when the science became undeniable, you know, it really called their bluff and it's forced them to make very brazen philosophical claims.
I really think it's just this first generation that we've got where think about it, all their entire lives, they've grown up around ultrasound technology.
And there's absolutely no denying what's going on scientifically.
And that's shifted the argument, right?
Because I found when I, we talked about this, I think, last episode.
I found that the argument that it's a human life doesn't go very far with a committed abortionist.
Right.
To them, the right of the mother supersedes any definition of human life.
Yeah, it's like we're having two different conversations.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Well, you know, what happens?
You know, I mean, think about it.
You've got, it's a basic syllogism.
You know, it's wrong to intentionally kill an innocent human being.
Abortion does, in fact, intentionally kill an innocent human being.
Therefore, it's wrong.
And we can only spend so much time on that minor premise when every single textbook in the science of embryology out there says that life begins at conception and there is literally no lack of consensus at all.
That shifts it.
Most of these people say things are wrong because we say they're wrong.
And so we can change that if we want to.
But they've got to step back and they've got to say, well, it's not always wrong.
And that's when you get into these strange bodily autonomy arguments.
I think they put it into that category of it's not wrong to kill people in war if it's for a good cause or whatever.
Like they think it categorize, I think they categorize it in that.
Some of them, if they accept that it's, some won't accept the premise it's a human being, but it seems like many will.
And then they'll just they'll accept, they justify it, which is the most shocking thing to me.
Like I thought that like if you could get to that point and somebody admit it's a human, then you got them.
But that's the thing that shocks me the most is there's a lot, plenty of people out there on that side that completely admit it's a human and say it's fine.
I'm happy with it.
I'm totally fine with it.
They're comfortable.
It's bizarre.
And every argument that they make philosophically threatens the born.
I was just having this conversation the other day where someone, he had placed all of his faith in the idea that they can't feel it.
The unborn can't feel it.
There's a lack of consciousness.
And boom, as soon as I hit him with the question of whether rape is permissible as long as you sufficiently drug the woman beforehand.
She can't feel it.
And then boom, it's like, whoops.
Every argument out there, it's really interesting.
It ultimately undermines human equality.
Yeah.
Every single time they try and move into that philosophical realm.
All these topics, I always feel like it comes down to a view.
There's a view of the world that either it's been given to us and the meaning is in it and we're finding the meaning or we're making the meaning ourselves.
To me, that's like the divide at like the heart of almost every issue.
Transcendence.
Transcendence.
We need that as a clue.
So if you were going, I don't, you know, I didn't, I didn't write what a human is.
I didn't write what the word life means.
Like it means something because it was written and I'm finding it out and I respect that.
That's way different than going, you know, I evolved from a pile of stuff in the sea and I decide whatever it, what is, is.
Whatever life is, we decide what it is.
You know, it's just a different view.
There's a different foundation.
And that's one reason I go, those two sides are never going to come together.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's just, you know, I actually had this conversation with Nabil Qureshi a couple of years before he passed away, great Christian apologist who had converted from Islam and tragically died of stomach cancer just a couple of years ago at the age of 33.
And he was saying, you know, philosophically, what do you think is the biggest threat out there on a college campus?
And I said, well, it's still postmodernism.
And he said, you know, you're crazy.
Postmodernism, no, that's waned.
And we kind of began to argue back and forth about that.
And I was saying, you know, like the whole campus speech code thing is an outgrowth of postmodernism.
There is no truth.
Whenever you say truth, you put scare quotes around it.
And so then what is free speech supposed to be about then if there is no truth?
Well, you're not going to have a free and open marketplace of ideas where you try to converge on some truth that's really out there.
You're worried about, you know, individuals don't have rights.
Groups have rights.
And these groups haven't been able to participate in defining the narrative.
And so we've got to somehow empower them.
And the way that we do that is we selectively enforce these bans on offensive speech, depending upon who is saying the offensive thing, what group they're in, and what group is being offended.
So that's the game that we begin to play.
And that's an outgrowth of postmodernism.
Well, postmodernism plays into all of this, you know, when it comes to the question of what is the unborn, when it comes to the whole transmania thing that's going on right now.
There's this idea that things don't have essences, you know, that an entity can be divorced from biological reality.
And, you know, that's just a thing that they're trying to do.
They want to have the power to define the unborn, to define themselves.
I mean, it's an elevation to God game that's being played.
And it's being done in the name of postmodernism.
I know nine out of ten of the conservatives who you talk to will say that socialism is the biggest problem on our college campuses, that Marxism is, no, it's postmodernism.
That's the problem.
That seems like those are just outgrowths or oh, they relate.
Absolutely.
I couldn't possibly agree more that the two worldviews are just ideologically just their cousins.
I mean, they're really wedded to one another.
I mean, you know, the idea that there's two groups out there, you know, the haves and the have-nots, and we have to empower the have-nots, you know, that it just really mirrors what I was saying about the speech codes.
It's like the speakers and the silenced groups out there.
You know, we've got to have a power shift out there.
And it is dangerously political and dangerously unprincipled because truth has taken a backseat in this entire process.
I think it was N.T. Wright that said, he called the transgender movement kind of a modern version of Gnosticism where you have this secret hidden knowledge somewhere.
And you are the only one who knows this subjective knowledge, you know, and you just simply like speak it into existence.
You know, I am really an oak tree or whatever, you know, and there's no, there's no, you're not connected to your actual essence at all.
It's just whatever spiritual realization you can gain.
And so it's interesting to me that that's now coming back and it's going to have these cycles of these wrong philosophies that keep.
Yeah, nothing's new under the sun, right?
But you read, you know, if you really want to explore that, Nancy Piercy, I love thy body.
We got to get her on here.
Oh, she's just, she's great.
And I'm so glad she's at HBU and they're on the move and they're doing serious things there.
And I really like that their scholars there are writing books also for public consumption.
And I think Nancy is able to tap into an important cultural topic.
And she's able to do it in a way that links it to philosophy and to history as well.
The history of the church, the history of rebellion against the church.
It all comes together.
But the Gnostic element's important.
All right, Mike.
Well, thanks for coming on.
It's been a great conversation.
Good.
You want people to follow you on Twitter?
Find you.
Where can people find you?
I have fun on Mike S. Adams is the Twitter handle and got a public Facebook page out there.
So what I'll do is I'm working on a free speech column right now.
And I do a lot of that stuff.
And that pops up on my public Facebook page and on Twitter.
My columns are on townhall.com most often and sometimes on the dailywire.com.
So that's where to find me.
Awesome.
Sounds good.
Well, I'll email you some Carmen videos you can watch for research and educate.
Coming up, yeah, you can do better.
Oh, good stuff.
Good stuff.
Thank you.
All right.
And that was not the end of the interview.
That was just the beginning.
Wow.
Things get salty from this point on.
Salty.
We get a little crazy.
There was some expletives thrown, some fists thrown.
Some narwhal tusks were involved.
But yeah, that's all going to be in the subscriber portion.
I think my favorite thing in this podcast is just letting you continue.
You just stare at me.
And you get this little grin on your face and you're like, I don't know.
Tusks.
Tusks.
You keep adding waiting for me to stop you, waiting for me to change.
Jump in here, Kyle.
Yeah, so in the next portion of the podcast, which is for our subscribers, we talk about lots of things.
We talk about the transgender issue, which that's salty.
I don't know.
My kids say salty a lot.
I never know how it applies.
Isn't that salty?
Salty is like your, your, is it savage?
No.
Those are the two big ones.
Dan, look up salty on Urban Dictionary.
Salty is like me and you're mad about someone insults you and you're like insulting yeah Or, like, you owned them.
Not owned, but, like, you're bitter.
You're bitter, you're like, you're mad about something.
You're getting a rise out of somebody.
But the salty person is the one who the rise was gotten out of, was begotten from.
Yeah, like you're trash talking.
You're being salty.
Yeah.
Dan, what does salty mean on Urban Dictionary?
So being salty is when you are upset over something little.
Okay.
What?
That was anywhere close.
It's like, oh, you're so salty about this.
Why are you so salty?
Is that the new meaning?
That's what kids say now is salty.
That's what's a person who's being salty.
Not the singing songbook.
They're crying.
Basically, like your tears are coming out and they're salty.
That's why you're salty.
It's like salty tears, yeah.
What?
Apparently you can buy a mug.
I thought salty was been used on it.
Like spicing.
Really?
That was the genius of Urban Dictionary is they made the mug of anything on their site.
Yeah.
And it's just like, it's probably a huge money maker for them.
That's crazy.
We need to do that with like a button at the bottom of each B article.
Get the mug.
Just get the mug with the headline on it.
If we had some way to generate it like that.
Oh, man.
There's got to be a way.
Seth, if you've listened this far.
Or some programmer.
Get on it.
Yeah, okay.
Driving around in your cyber truck.
Let us know how we can do this.
He probably is going to get a cybertruck.
I'll bet he's pre-ordered one.
I'm going to ask you.
Let me ask Seth if he's pre-ordered.
Okay, anyway.
Let's do some hate now.
Let's do it.
Alright.
Well, this is actually, I think this is a podcast review.
Is that correct, Kyle?
He's messaging Seth about the cybertruck right now.
Yeah, I already did.
Okay.
Yeah, this is from someone who was upset about our soccer comments with Kira Davis.
Which I don't didn't take part in because I hate all sports.
So you hate soccer too, though.
That's true.
But you don't unfairly hate soccer.
Yeah, I don't have any passion about it.
You just don't care.
The way you feel about soccer, just apply that to all sports.
That's how I feel.
So this person says, this person is being friendly, though.
They're saying they like our podcast.
And they say, your most recent podcast interview with Kira Davis has crossed the line on what is acceptable in a podcast.
So if there's content guidelines on YouTube, this is, or on iTunes, this is over the line.
It says, I mean, you have some buttons ready of how dare you and Flowerbed.
Get ready.
It says, how dare you?
How dare you?
I couldn't flowerbed believe you would do something so flowerbedding belligerent.
It actually says flowerbed.
Yeah, he's actually using it.
How could you attack soccer, the most beloved sport in the world, possibly the universe?
And he says, in Acts, God says, the earth is my footstool.
God is referencing to playing soccer.
Because it's like his foot, like the earth is down by his feet, so he's connected to the body.
Is there a footstool involved in soccer?
Well, it's like the earth is a ball, right?
So his footstool is down by his feet.
Just seems like a stretch.
I'm going to continue to explain the joke.
Okay.
The beast should be ashamed for calling soccer communist.
A more acceptable term would be fascist.
This would have connected the great sport of soccer to God's chosen messenger, Donald Trump.
And then it says sincerely, Panda Face.
So Panda Face, soccer is still terrible, but we appreciate your feedback.
All right.
It looks like we have some real hate meals.
Here's some actual hate meal.
Are these all because of, uh, you'll fill me in.
This is in response to we did the all the evangelical leaders sitting around Trump like the Last Supper.
Oh, yeah.
And they said, which one of us is going to portray you, Donald?
Yes.
Surely not I.
A involved Photoshop on that one.
An excellent Photoshop.
The best part was Eric Metaxas poking his head in through the window, which most people didn't notice.
I've had a couple people email and say, who's that guy in the window?
Eric Metaxas.
I love Eric Metaxas, but yeah.
He's flirting.
He did write the book.
Yeah, Donald Drayden did this one.
This is not funny.
If I have to tell you why it is not funny, then my explanation would fall on deaf ears.
I don't get the logic there.
If I have to say that it isn't funny, then you wouldn't listen anyway.
So I have to tell you why.
So somebody have to ask why.
We're already too dumb to know why this is not funny.
Do you want to read this next show?
Sure.
You've got to read this with the title, too.
Okay.
So the subject of the email is Marionette Greta Thunberg, Thunberg picture, not funny.
Be ashamed.
Regards.
And the person has a PhD.
Yeah, PhD.
I assume we can't read people's full names on the PhD.
We did read Panda Face's name.
It's true.
I assume that wasn't the alias, though.
Mr. Face.
What's this one?
I'm looking to find where on your site you have the disclaimer that this is satire and that you do not back up your quotes with references.
At least the onion is funny.
I feel bad for you and your family that you have to roll in the mud to pay your bills.
That's like you could write that to a monster truck.
What do you have to roll in the mud?
Or a mud wrestler.
You want to take the last one?
Okay.
Reason, general.
Message.
You are really, really all caps trying to be funny like the onion.
But sadly, modern times defeat you.
And you sound like three-year-olds who try to imitate the speech of their betters unsuccessfully.
You know the words, not the music.
Keep trying, though.
Your invisible sky god might be laughing.
Who knows?
Flowerbed.
Paul's.
That was a very well-timed poll.
That was an artful one.
I like that one.
The words and not the music.
I almost want that one.
I almost want to have Dave read that one in like a poetic, like, yeah.
I don't know.
It's really like there's some great analogies in there.
Let's listen to a dramatic reading from Dave D'Andrea.
You are really, really trying to be funny like the onion.
But sadly, modern times defeat you, and you sound like three-year-olds who try to imitate the speech of their betters unsuccessfully.
You know the words, not the music.
Keep trying, though.
Your invisible sky god might be laughing.
Who knows?
Flowerbed.
That was classic.
That was beautiful.
All right.
Well, we are going to continue on with Mike Adams for another 30 minutes or so.
Yeah, I think we're going to read some unreleased headlines too, right?
And we're going to read headline pitches from our writers and also from our subscribers.
We haven't done this in a little while, so it'll be a fun treat for you guys.
So if you want to hear the full-length podcast, go to babylonbee.com/slash plan, subscribe at any level, and you get full-length ad-free podcasts.
We have a headline for them at certain levels.
You get a gift and more.
Even if you don't subscribe, we appreciate you listening.
Please drop us a review on iTunes and share us with a friend.
Spread the good news of the Babylon Bee podcast.
If you got any feedback or love mail, send it to podcast at BabylonB.com.
You can keep up with Kyle and Christmas stories.
Christmas stories.
Oh, and Christmas stories, as we mentioned earlier in the podcast, send us Christmas stories for our Christmas special.
You can follow Ethan on Twitter at AxeCop.
And you can follow Kyle on Twitter at the underscore, Kyle, underscore man.
It's all in the show notes.
So, anyway, do that, and we will talk to you guys next week.
Kyle and Ethan would like to thank Seth Dylan for paying the bills, Adam Ford for creating their job, the other writers for tirelessly pitching headlines, the subscribers, and you, the listener.