Episode 13: Politically Homeless With Bridget Phetasy
In the thirteenth episode of The Babylon Bee podcast, editor-in-chief Kyle Mann and creative director Ethan Nicolle are joined by Bridget Phetasy. Bridget is a writer and comedian who became known across the Twitter-verse when she started challenging the woke narrative of other liberals and comedians and not towing the approved political line. Her recent article, The Battlecry Of The Politically Homeless, is the subject of discussion this week. Bridget joins us for the entire show. You can follow Bridget on Twitter (Please be warned that her feed can be R-rated, both in words and pictures) and check out her podcast Walk-Ins Welcome. She also has a new show on YouTube called the Weekly Dumpster Fire. The Babylon Bee podcast hosts a wide range of guests, both Christian and non-Christian. We believe it's important to hear from a variety of perspectives, even ones we may disagree with. Please note that we do not necessarily endorse every position or statement made by our guests. We encourage you to listen to and consider their viewpoints respectfully. Stories of the Week (3:49) Snopes Rates Biden's Claim That 2+2=5 As 'Mostly True' The referenced Snopes story: https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/joe-biden-war-hero-story/ (10:52) Lego Introduces New Sharper Bricks That Instantly Kill You When You Step On Them (17:55) Liberals Clarify They Only Want Black Voices To Be Heard When They're Saying Liberal Things (32:26) Main Topic: Being Politically Homeless Bridget's article: The Battlecry For The Politically Homeless (1:00:11) Hate Mail (1:05:52) Paid Subscriber-Exclusive Portion: Bridget talks about her experience spending three weeks in an Australian offshoot of the Rajneesh cult. Become a paid subscriber at https://babylonbee.com/plans
In a world of fake news, this is news you can trust.
Blowing up the death star of false information with the proton torpedoes of facts and logic.
You're listening to the Babylon Bee With your hosts, Kyle Mann and Ethan Nicole.
Hi, how are you guys doing?
I'm Kyle Mann.
I'm Ethan Nicole, and this is the Babylon Bee podcast.
Yes, it is.
Uh-huh.
And guess what?
What?
We've had a crazy guest today.
This is for our 13th episode.
The feisty, silly, crazy Twitter person that I didn't, I didn't write an introduction.
That is how she calls.
That is how she labels herself.
Should I get on Twitter?
She's a crazy Twitter person.
Your introduction is?
Yeah.
My bio doesn't help.
Okay.
All right.
This is Bridget Fetti, everybody.
Welcome to the Babylon Bee podcast.
Welcome, Bridget.
Thank you.
I am the feisty, crazy Twitter person.
That's perfect.
She's a person who's managed to figure Twitter out.
I've cracked the cup.
Like, I was talking to her about this we had lunch, and most people, like, you know, they're on like Bill Maher or they're on some show like Joe Rogan.
Everybody follows them because of that.
She is on those shows because she, well, not those ones yet, but she's on those shows because she tweets.
And everybody's like, oh my gosh, these tweets.
She's really good at tweeting.
Thank you.
It's true.
It's because I love it.
You have to love what you do.
Yeah.
Some people have Instagram.
Some people have Pinterest, like Kyle.
I actually do.
I do have a Pinterest account.
You got to stay attentive, Kyle.
I know.
I'm keeping him on his toes.
No, not an insult.
Just making sure he's paying attention.
I can't handle this.
I quit.
He updates the site as we do the podcast.
Yeah, I'm just going to ignore you guys.
I just write articles as we're the man, the workhorse.
I see that.
So what is the best introduction to someone who is not Bridget Fetasyaware?
I'm a writer, a podcaster, a YouTube star.
Oh, yeah.
I like how there's two categories.
There's two categories of people in the world.
The Bridget Fetasy Aware.
And the Bridget Fettes.
Have you talked to your kids?
Have you had the talk with your kids about Bridget Fetasy?
Raise awareness.
There's like a ribbon or something.
The Bridget Fetasy Awareness ribbon.
Oh, that ribbon looked like a little American flag ribbon.
It looked like a Twitter.
Yeah, with a little tweet.
With a little bird.
Twitter bird.
Yeah.
I like where this is at.
We can run a little marathon.
We could have like a marathon.
A 5K.
Yeah.
Bridget Fetty.
Why?
We just need to raise awareness about her.
We're raising awareness.
I feel like a telecon like here talking to everybody.
Is she fighting something?
Nope.
Nope.
She just.
She's on Twitter.
She exists.
We really want you to know.
All right.
Well, that sums it up.
And Twitter, Twitter.
I just called you Twitter.
Bridget Fettis.
Twitter Fetasy.
Twitter Fetasy.
Oh, God.
She wrote an interesting article recently about being politically homeless.
And she's like, she's not technically from the right.
She's just kind of sick of the insanity of the left, I guess, and kind of has found herself in this kind of middle place, which I think that's kind of where I found myself too last election.
So we want to talk about that in our main topic.
Yeah.
But Bridget's going to be with us for the whole show.
So we're going to go through some news stories first.
Good luck.
You guys ready?
Every week, there are stories.
These are some of them.
Snopes rates Biden's claim that two plus two equals five as mostly true.
You know, it is, I mean, that's 80 to 20.
80% true, right?
I know it's 80% true because I read that.
I hate, I'm not good at math.
Because if two plus two is four and you just added one more, you really were only off by one.
We've thoroughly explained the joke.
I'm not good at math, guys, and you're making me worse at it.
But if he said three, what'd he be?
I can't do it on the spot.
I'm trying to think 60% because he has three.
Yeah, I don't know.
I don't know.
Live.
Math problems being worked out on the podcast.
Live.
Three writers try and do math.
So Joe Biden had this crazy mishmash of all these stories he was telling about about this war soldier or something, right?
War hero.
War hero.
And he went in and just mashed up all the details.
And it was kind of like your crazy uncle that's telling you all these stories.
And you're like, I don't know how much of that is true.
I call him Puddin' Brain Biden.
I'm like, put in brain.
Putting brain.
Like an apostrophe on the end.
Put and brain Biden got out of the home again.
He definitely seems like he has handlers who try to make sure he stays.
I just feel like the brain is a little slippery there, you know?
It's like starting to be, I don't know.
Yeah, that's like my dad starting to kind of, you know, things are kind of slippery.
My dad, and he'll like, he'll combine stories from different kids in the family.
Totally.
He'll just combine them.
Like memories get combined.
Yeah.
I do that.
I already do that.
And I'm like in my early 30s.
It's true.
My wife, what'd you say?
She said a complete sentence to one of our kids three times while using a different name each time just trying to get to the right one.
Yes.
She's like, Lily, go clean your.
I mean, Ezra, go clean your room.
I mean, trying to get through the name.
Yeah.
Calvin.
That happened to me a lot being the oldest of five.
It was always like, I mean, look.
So you come from like a family of Jehovah's Witnesses?
Mormons.
Irish Catholic.
Oh, that's okay.
Yeah.
They're up there with the Mormons.
On the scale.
Yeah, with the scale of.
My dad's one of 10.
Yeah.
And yeah, definitely.
So yeah, they went half zone what they're used to.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It was a small family for my dad.
So put in brain.
Yeah, back up in brain.
We pretend to get off topic.
No, so he told, he told this story, mashed it all up, and then fact-checked it.
He stopped and went, it's the God's honest truth.
Like this story is the God's honest truth.
He said that.
I feel like Rigid, I feel like you're interviewing me, and now I feel like I have to know what I'm talking about.
I'm like, I actually don't know anything about this story.
Well, the joke is Snopes did this.
Snopes did the fact check, though.
I'm just story, though.
They fact-checked it and called it a mixture.
A mixture?
They said it was a mixture of truth and truth.
True and false.
Well, some of the things he said were true.
It's just that he put them in the wrong story and he actually wasn't there.
This is crazy.
It's crazy how you can just bend the true what's it's crazy how you can bend even the fact checking of the truth if you want right right well that's the real concern for me with Someone who calls themselves like an independent fact checker is, you know, they slap this true or false label on there and it's like, oh, you're, you're false.
You know, you're true.
And again, almost every lie is probably a mixture of true false because this is not the whole point of a lie.
Everything Trump says is probably a mixture.
Like they rate everything he says mixture.
Do they rate everything he says as mixture, though, or do they just say false?
I mean, it's just false, right?
That's what I mean about being able to vary the varying tones of how true or false something is.
It's either true or it's false.
Or if you're going to do the in-between, how do you even justify doing that on a scale?
Well, that's what I'm saying.
It drives me crazy that they have this black and white scale where they say true or false, but then they want to defend somebody who was telling this complete falsehood.
And so they say, oh, well, it's a mixture.
Exactly.
Yeah, it's just weird.
What media bias?
I love that gift from Spongebob, the one where he's like the chicken or whatever, and he does the weird little dance, and everyone always does the up and down letters online to kind of imply like, it's like little kids like media bias.
It's my favorite.
I wasn't allowed to watch SpongeBob.
My wife doesn't let kids watch SpongeBob, but just because he weirds her out, she just doesn't like it.
Yeah, that's exactly the same with my wife.
She's just like, she doesn't know why.
She just hates it.
SpongeBob bugs me.
She won't.
It is weird.
It's a weird show.
It is a little weird.
I wasn't specifically forbidden from watching SpongeBob, but we didn't have cable, which meant I missed out on all of pop culture.
I wasn't allowed to watch Three's Company.
Is that a show?
Just kidding.
No, I know it's a show.
When I was like a teenager.
Thanks for clarifying it.
I did know that that was a show.
My mom thought it would promote nefarious behavior.
Oh, yeah, because it's like two women and a man living together.
So were you guys like hardcore Catholic?
Like we like Easter and Christmas only too?
It changed when my parents got divorced.
Okay.
So we were, I went to private Catholic schools on and off for most of my youth.
And then when they split up, my mom really kind of just stopped.
And I don't know that she was ever really into it more than just being raised Catholic and then marrying my dad.
But my dad continued going to church.
And so we may have talked about this when I was on your show, but because I have this weird upbringing where my mom was Roman Catholic and she went hard, like straight up Roman Catholic when my parents divorced.
And my dad is like Pentecostal.
So that was really weird.
Yeah, my mom went Buddhist.
Yeah, she just was like, yeah, no.
Divorce does things to people.
Yeah, it does.
It does.
Come in and reinvent myself, kids.
Come along, won't you?
Well, and I think there's that idea if you broke the, if you broke the rules, you're kind of an outcast now.
So you have to find something else to replace your spiritual, if you don't feel welcome by.
And I think that was the issue is that because divorce is not allowed or forbidden or looked down upon, I guess, probably now.
She just had to find somewhere where she felt more welcome and connected.
Yeah.
And my dad was like, whatever.
I'm like, I was born and raised Catholic.
I know none of these rules.
They're a little loose and fast in the Catholic world with the rules.
Next headline: Lego introduces new sharper bricks that instantly kill you when you step on them.
This is actually a classic, I believe.
And whenever I look at this article, the only thing I see is that I know that's an actual photograph of Kyle's dirty feet.
I actually photoshopped a lot of dirt out of them and you still can see it.
And I like how for me that was easier than just, you know, washing your washing before I took the picture.
So, yeah.
I do like how the scale for a classic Babylon B article is one that we wrote a year ago.
Like, that's that the time frame.
It's like a third of our existence.
Yeah, that is.
That's true.
But it's like I turn on the classic rock station and they're playing Green Day.
I know.
I don't know.
Oh, that's 30 years ago.
Gosh, I think Pearl Jam.
Yeah.
The 90s were 30 years ago.
Well, yeah, the early 90s.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Really early.
Yeah, like 90.
91.
Yeah.
Like 89.
Bad math.
Math turned 39.
We're back to math.
Yeah, we're back.
Oh, we got back onto the math.
We need to get a math guy.
Just fact checks us.
Yeah, we could have a Snopes.
Maybe we're turned into Snopes.
He'll be like 80% wrong.
Frank was going to be our, he was going to be our actually guy for a while.
Actually, yeah, that's right.
Everyone needs an actually guy.
I have about 100,000 of them on Twitter if you need to borrow some.
Actually.
Oh, you get a bunch of them.
Yeah.
We get them too.
We get a lot of the actual guy.
Oh, I bet.
We have to be so careful.
We have to research our jokes very thoroughly before we post them because there's someone who's going to be like, actually, blah, blah, blah.
And you're just like, come on.
I get it all the time.
I made that joke about Dave Chappelle's special and how it went.
I said, it was a joke that went viral.
I said, we're, my God, I just realized that we're two days away from an article accusing Dave Chappelle of being a black white supremacist.
And everyone's like, actually, he already did that.
I was like, that's the joke.
I know.
We thought about doing stuff like that, but we're like, someone's going to call us out for.
Yeah.
Kyle's saying that he has a better filter than you.
I do have a much better, yeah, not really.
A better filter for jokes, like what jokes to release or not.
Yeah.
He hasn't mind of an editor.
His mind.
His mind's always going.
I'm actually, I'm a really bad editor because I publish my own jokes, you know, and then it's like, is this joke funny?
And then I send it to the editor desk, and then I move over to that desk and I'm like, oh, yeah, hilarious.
Good job.
So on the Lego thing here.
Legos are deadly.
This is like a thing that when you become a father, oh, you don't need to be a father.
Father, mother.
Anyone.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Sorry.
I'm trying to be sexist.
No, I mean, everyone knows this.
I think even anyone who's ever babysat.
Like, this would be my advice to someone who's going to become a father.
Like, work up your calluses on your feet to like crocodile skin level.
It's so funny how painful they are.
Be like, lad, bent over in pain.
No, constantly, the things that you step on when you have kids.
It could be anything.
My dad one time stepped on.
This is for our Christians.
This is for our Christian fans.
We had an Awana badges that you pinned on your Awana vest, you know, it's just like this brass pin, this long, you know, half-inch brass pin or whatever.
And there was like two or three of them on the back of this long badge, like a Boy Scout badge or whatever.
And it was sitting on one of us had thrown our jacket on our vest on the floor.
He stepped on it.
Little rats.
And it was like one of those scenes in the movies where you hear the scream and then it zooms out to like the world and then the galaxy and you still hear the scream, you know, and he's like pulling it out of the foot.
That's brutal.
It's like, I mean, I don't know how gross I want to get here, but I mean, because my son's been in no diaper mode.
We talked about this already.
I probably edited it out.
He's been in he's little nature boys, too, and he just has realized that he can rip his diaper off if he wants to.
But he's not potty trained.
So, so yeah, I stepped in something that was not from one of our dogs.
Oh, boy.
Were you in San Francisco?
I was actually very quick.
Don't they have an app in San Francisco?
They do.
You can see where that's real, right?
Yeah.
I don't think that's a satire.
I think that's like Waze.
Like they just like.
No, it's a fantasy.
You think it's a satire and it's actually pair.
It's actually a real headline.
There's actually a real.
Oh, yeah, that's what the word means, right?
Did you say that yet?
But you need to get that for your house.
You know, you could tag where all the Legos are and all the feces.
You tag them by when you scream.
And then you kick them angrily under the couch.
And then when you have kids, there are Legos in feces.
Did they poop it out?
Oh, geez.
Yeah, we're doing the potty training thing with my three-year-old right now.
And it's exactly what you're saying, except it's our fault for.
Like, you let him walk around without pants because you want to catch him when they're starting to go, but you never do because you're always texting or you're on your phone, right?
Well, there's like that 30 seconds where you haven't seen him in a while and you're like, where is he?
Yeah.
It's weird that we all got potty trained.
Yeah, it is weird.
I think about this a lot.
Like at one time, all of us.
Like someone had to train us to go do that privately in a ball.
Oh, man.
It's not instinctive.
It's so weird that you talk constantly talking about it.
Gonna go potty.
Yeah, and you gotta make like a potty deal about it.
You need like, yo, yay.
Everybody's clapping for you.
Come watch me go potty.
And I'd be like, like a big boy.
Daddy's going potty like a big boy.
Yeah, the whole thing is very bizarre.
Oh, man.
Like, I hope you don't remember this.
How about Jesus was potty trained at some point?
What were their toilets like?
I just brought that back to the Christian realm of discussion.
Yeah, I'm sure your listeners are going to be choked.
Think about Jesus' bodily fluids.
Whoa, whoa.
It's getting worse.
Can you bleep that?
Can we edit that out of the?
I think if I bleep it, it'll sound worse than it was.
Jesus is like an arrested development when Buster goes rogue and he's like, beep, beep, beep, beep.
Exactly.
What did she say?
It's one of those secular shows.
If you guys don't know what that is, yeah, for the homeschoolers.
For the homeschoolers.
Oh, sorry.
All right, we got one more story here.
For the homeschoolers.
We were talking a little about Dave Chappelle.
We'll get into that.
Oh, but the homeschoolers know about Dave Chappelle.
Okay.
We'll have to do it.
We'll have to tell them about him.
Liberals clarify they only want black voices to be heard when they're saying liberal things.
And this is in reference to.
I like that we have Bridget here to laugh at our jokes now.
Yeah, it's nice.
We can't laugh at our own jokes.
Can you copy that little laugh?
And we're just going to put that after every in all our episodes.
Because it's always weird.
It's just me and Ethan.
We say our headline and then we're like, yeah.
I was thinking like, you guys read your own headlines to each other that you wrote.
You're like, isn't that great?
Check out this hilarious joke I made on the internet.
So, Ethan, what is this in reference to?
Well, it's a guy named Dave Chappelle who's a comedian and he told a bunch of jokes.
He had a Netflix special.
And he's black.
He is black.
That's true.
You don't know who Dave Chappelle is.
That's a key part to understand.
My uncle didn't know who Dave.
My uncle's a Republican, conservative, Christian.
And last night I was playing him parts of his stand-up.
And he's like, who is this man?
He's very smart.
This is a very smart man.
Very articulate.
Well spoken.
Very clean.
He's like, he's a stand-up comedian.
How do you not know about him?
And he said, where can I find this?
And I was like, Netflix.
Have you heard of Netflix?
Like, you've done some sleuth work.
I investigated.
A guy with a trench coat down the road had it on.
You know what's so interesting, though?
And it was so kind of, it was a revelation to me is that he understands even more than I do how subversive some of the things that he was saying in particular about what I was even just playing him the juicy small A, the Jesse Smollett bit that he was doing.
And he understands it even remotely making fun of the left by a comedian is so subversive.
He really did think that I found this like on the black, on the dark web.
Yeah, yeah.
He was like, where did you get this?
This is the black market of comedy.
Yeah.
It was like Netflix.
Passing out the burn.
It's pretty mainstream.
He's like, this is mainstream comedy.
I'm like, well, they're not too happy about it.
But yeah, I like the vice they had their review was, you can definitely skip Dave Chappelle's new Netflix special, Sticks and Stones.
And we know what people, when you tell people that they need to skip something, they skip right to watching it immediately.
I love their vision of themselves that they think that there's this, like, they walked out of a balcony to like the people.
Don't worry, everyone.
I've watched it, so you don't have to.
You definitely don't need to watch the Dave Chappelle special.
It's like the immediately rented homes to watch it.
It's like the gladiator thumbs up.
Yes, exactly.
They render the verdict.
Like they really have themselves not funny.
And everyone cheers.
And then Dave is like, oh, you got entertained.
It's like the give us barabbas, you know?
See how I always bring it back to the Jesus?
Yeah, you always bring it back.
It's really impressive.
He went to seminary.
He dropped out of seminary.
That seminary.
Bible college.
Bible college.
That's different.
That is different than seminary.
You're supposed to go to Bible college for four years and then seminary for like two months.
Oh, you didn't even get to seminary, man.
I didn't even make it that far.
I got kicked out of Bible.
I got kicked out of Bible school.
Does that count?
Like at church?
I was little.
Like Sunday school?
Yeah, Sunday school.
Gotcha.
I asked too many questions and I was disruptive.
So were you trying to like disprove the Bible or something?
Yeah, I just, we were learning critical thinking and a lot of the things didn't make sense to me logically.
And so I would ask what I thought were innocent questions.
So yeah, so you said, did Adam and Eve have a belly button?
And the teacher was like, out.
Pretty much.
Did God make a rock too heavy for him to pick up or something like that?
I'd be like, Exodus, you said.
She would say.
So you were the actually girl.
I was the actually girl.
I was totally the actually girl in Bible school or whatever.
Sunday school.
Sunday school.
That's what we call.
Nice.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So.
So what about Dave?
So did you guys loved the Dave Chappelle school?
Did you actually throw on?
I mean, I thought it was pretty good.
I mean, there was things about it that I do think were genius.
Like it's very.
He starts a joke off thinking you think you know where he's going.
Yeah.
And then he really does do this thing where the audience.
It's like a backflip.
He works you in your reaction into the joke.
Well, and I was saying this too on my YouTube show today.
I was explaining how he is so genius at pulling you in and thinking that he's on your side and then reversing that and suddenly you're the butt of the joke.
And you're like, dude, how did he do that?
Yeah, one of the ones that definitely, because when he started talking about abortion, I was like, okay, this one's not for me.
I'm used to this.
I watch a comedy special, like he's making important jokes, and I'm just going to sit back and let people have their abortion joke.
And he totally brought it around in this way, like, like a pro-like, you know, it was like a pro-choice joke.
And he brought it around at the end where he tagged it this very slight, like, it was like right at the very end of it.
He's like, because he made this comparison that if you can kill your baby or whatever, you know, because you don't want to have it, that's fine.
All I'm saying is that a man should be able to, what did he say, abandon it?
I don't know that he said kill your baby.
Like, kill your baby.
He said, if you can, but it was in that.
Yeah, I'm not direct quoting.
This is like me attempting.
But he made this funny comparison that a man should be able to abandon it.
But it wasn't like he's making an argument.
He's just being like, just saying.
And then he just moved on.
Yeah, it was funny because my friend, who's very pro-life and Christian, was like, my favorite people are the guys who are like, yeah, he's pro-life.
I really liked his pro-life message.
He's like, people will literally hear whatever they want to hear today.
It's like, yeah, I really like to know he's a pro-life message.
Well, that's the thing, guys.
People have to, they have to watch and they have to go, like, what side is he on?
Who's he voting for when he says this joke?
Like, they can't just go.
They can't just an absurdity.
That's what he's doing.
I feel like that's what we've lost.
That's why I love what you guys do actually at the Babylon B because go on.
Because it's so brilliant.
Because, A, you people always say that conservatives aren't funny, which generally they're not.
No offense.
They're not because they're not great at culture.
So everything.
The problem is, I feel like because conservative media has had to be so underground, it's mostly talk radio.
And I was thinking about this the other day.
Name one left-leaning media talking header pundit who does what most of the people on the right do, which is a two to three hour long talking show every day.
And then sometimes, like Laura, an hour-long show at night or a half-hour show.
It's crazy.
That kind of output is you have to be like a machine to do that.
And the left has had so much domination in culture, they'll just make jokes and whatever.
And I think conservatives fall into the trap of trying to, everything ends up being political instead of just making jokes about Legos.
Which I think the Babylon B does so well.
You do political humor and you do, and you satirize the culture and politics, but you also just make stupid dad jokes and you're conservatives.
And you don't point out that, like, hey, here we are, conservatives making this dad joke.
It's like, here's a joke about Legos.
It's very relatable.
And then it just happens to be a conservative outlet making it.
You guys are really at the forefront of doing this because no other conservative media has really understood how to do this yet.
None of them.
Yeah, that's true.
And that also comes from a place of us being Christian satire.
Is all Christian comedy is that, like you're saying, it's like, I'm a Christian and I'm signaling to you that I'm about to make a Christian joke that you understand because you're part of Christian culture.
Right.
You know, for us to be able to make a Lego joke, you know, it's like not specifically Christian, right?
Yeah.
You know, but I think that's interesting.
Because you want to, you know, the good thing, the thing about comedy is always finding what you're interested in and what your audience is interested in that Venn diagram.
But I think it's important in particular with conservatives doing comedy, doing that comedy thing, drawing the circle a little bit bigger, which you are because you're pulling people like me in, for instance, who just finds the headlines brilliant and funny and incisive and skewering the culture in a way that needs to be, it's like you are a nice counterpoint to the onion,
which we all know where the onion's coming from.
So having somebody, being able to mock your own, your own culture and also the culture at large is what comedy should be doing.
It's like any good comedian makes fun of themself and then makes fun of the culture.
And I don't know.
I just think it's, I think you guys occupy a really important space.
And I also think there's really no one in your lane who's doing it.
The end.
Yeah.
And they need to stay in their lanes.
And you're not going our lane.
I mean, it's shocking to me because there's people with a lot more resources than you guys, no offense.
I don't know what kind of resources you have, but this is it.
You're looking at this room right here.
Yeah.
So any minute now, there will be some guy from the 60s screaming about getting his marketing numbers in through the walking store.
But there are people, you know, who have huge media conglomerations on the right and still haven't really figured out how to get this comedy going mainstream.
I feel like you guys are going mainstream.
Thank you.
Thank you, Snopes.
We're selling out.
Yeah.
Selling out.
It feels like, well, you know, people just tend to go with what has worked.
And it feels like the thing that has worked for conservatives has been to be kind of mean and snarky and like, you know, melting the snowflakes kind of thing.
Yeah.
And I think we joke about that.
I don't think that's us.
It's not who we want to be.
And so I like, I've always wanted that, a conservative humor that is still good natured.
Like it's pointing out the absurdity.
It's not playing it safe, but we're also not total jerks.
Yeah.
Well, because there is that funny, you know, it comes, you don't want to be all about owning the libs.
If all of your humor comes down to how do we own the libs, you find a better person.
It's the same people who have built their personality around hating Trump and or being part of the resistance or something where you're stuck in that.
And it's the same idea of like it gets very boring after a while.
If you're just like, okay, we get it.
You want to own the libs, which is hilarious, by the way.
Yeah, but if that's it, I mean, yeah, there's a place where you're saying, yeah, yeah.
The one note, like Trump humor, you know, in the age of Trump is everything that the left does now, you know, is make fun of Trump.
And so you see the same thing on the other side.
And we saw that in the Chappelle special when he was trying to tell a joke about cancel culture.
Did you guys see that?
And he said, like, he did some impression.
He's like, ooh, impressions.
Yeah.
He's like, oh, I'm going to ruin your life.
Blah, blah, blah.
He's like, who am I?
Oh, yeah.
Who am I doing an impression of?
And the whole crowd goes, Trump.
Yeah.
Did they say Trump?
Yeah.
No, that's you.
Yeah.
That's you, dummy.
You guys.
Yeah.
That was brilliant.
And I thought it was just such a crazy picture of how every comedy bit has to be about Trump, you know, or it's got to make some wider political point to score points for your side.
Everybody comes down on me from the left.
They're like, well, you're always going after the left.
And it's like, well, because what am I going to do?
Make the same jokes that every late night show, Saturday Night Live, every comedian.
They're all making the same jokes.
Yeah.
I want to, it's not interesting to me to make those jokes.
The one I, the one I made today about how if Trump, Trump needs to, and I've started doing this on stage, how I want Trump to identify as a woman and then declare himself the first female president.
You just laughed at your own joke.
Because it would break everyone's brains.
I mean, it would own the libs, but also the MAGA boys would be like, no, this is our alpha president.
What is going on here?
Yeah, I love those ones where someone laughs and they're like, yeah, I get the libs.
And they're like, wait a minute.
They're making fun of me too.
Yeah.
I just was saying, I feel like this is how we reset the simulation.
Like, I've cracked the code.
It would break everyone's brain.
Yeah, I just love the declaration.
Just for him to declare that.
I declare myself.
Oh, my God.
Can you first female president in the world?
It would be amazing.
On the long form episode, my cousin says, What if you have no responsibility if he actually does something like this?
Even jokingly.
This is on your show, which is on YouTube, which is called your weekly dumpster fire, which is brand new.
It's brand new.
It's a roundup of the 24-hour outrage cycle.
And I think when we, when you are very capital V online, capital O, like we all are, because we have to be, you get used to those daily just outrages.
And I mean, I could do it.
If I had a team and enough money, I could do a daily outrage, a daily dumpster fire.
Yeah.
But I think that right now, you know, on our shoestring operation that we have, it's weekly.
And we just basically do a rundown of whatever kind of caught my attention or whatever the big outrages are because we forget them.
And literally one day, it'll be gone.
Yeah.
So we'll just, I'll just keep track throughout the week.
You know, this week, it's, I don't know what's been going on, but I'm going to, I'm going to have to.
This week.
Well, guns.
Yeah.
Walmart.
Oh, that's a big one.
Yeah.
Deborah Messing, I think, will probably make it in.
And then I'll promote any comedy or maybe I'll promote you guys this week since I did the pod.
Do it.
Yeah.
We'll give you a shout out on the dumpster.
Is it what the cool kids call it?
Is a pod?
Is that what we call it?
I don't, I am not cool, A.
So definitely probably not.
I'm going to call it the cat.
That's probably what Gen Xer is trying to be cool, call it, which is what I am.
All right.
Well, since I feel like we've already kind of jumped into it, but we're going to get into our main topic here, which is political homelessness.
And now, the Babylon Bees topic of the week.
All right.
So, Bridget, you wrote this article recently called The Battle Cry for the Politically Homeless.
The best part about that article is that at the end, I essentially say we would.
Yeah, what is the battle cry?
Well, it's essentially we're scared.
I was going to say, I never picked up a battle cry and they're like, well, because at the end, I say we would reach out.
You know, maybe we would speak out if only we weren't so scared.
And then after I launched it, I was like, ah, pretty funny that my battle cry is, I'm scared.
Please don't destroy me.
Please stop.
Please don't hurt me.
Yeah.
Well, you talk about being moderate in there.
I think it'd be interesting to get into like, what does moderate actually mean?
Because I think people take it to mean like, oh, I believe half of everything.
That's, that's why I really shy away from using the word centrist because I feel like people think that it means you're trying, you know, you like, well, I kind of see both sides of everything.
And there's, there aren't, aren't you're not taking one side or another on certain issues, or you might not have any strong feelings about any issue.
You're just always like waffling, man.
I'm trying to be that middle child.
Come on.
Why is everybody fighting in the family?
I'm half pro-life and half pro-choice.
Yeah.
No, I think that it's, it's mistaken that people think what I'm, what I mean by moderate is you aren't necessarily defending a tribe at the expense of your principles.
Yeah.
And so, or, or you might be able to look at a situation and say, well, I, I'm a little bit more to the right on this issue.
I'm a little bit more to the left.
I'm a little bit more libertarian on this, on this issue, and taking it.
I just feel like, and I think I said it in the piece, maybe not this one, maybe the one that I have coming out for Spectator, is that the buffet, the days of kind of buffet-style politics are no longer, it's frowned upon now.
You kind of have to be, you know, the people who were emailing me after that article were really fascinating.
I had women saying, you know, why can't I be pro-gun and pro-choice?
There's, you aren't, you either are checking all the boxes in one group or checking all the boxes in another.
Or basically, if you say you're pro-life, someone assumes they know everything about your politics because now you're in some tribe or camp.
And I think there are a lot of people where there's still more shades of gray and nuance.
And maybe they're pro-life, but maybe they have different opinions about immigration.
You know, it's not all so simplified.
Well, I think a lot of people, there's like two kinds of, well, there are probably more than two, but I'm not.
There's two kinds of people in this world.
But there's a large amount of people.
Speaking of moderates that look at the bridged fantasy aware and the bridged fantasy on the right.
There are two types of people in this world.
People who believe in moderates and people who don't.
People that like go to their politics for they think this is how the world needs to be and everybody has to be forced to be this way for the world to be right.
They all have to be environmentalists.
I'm on the right side of his pro-life.
And then there's people who look at despite what their beliefs about how things should be are, like, what is the best way to keep a country functioning where there's going to be a lot of varying beliefs forever?
I mean, in order to the massive size of countries and the amount of different people who believe all the different things they do, what's the best way to keep that from like completely imploding?
And to me, I think I had the realization around the Trump, when Trump got nominated, that I think I was more in the first camp before.
And I kind of, it kind of pushed me into the second one.
Like I started realizing I was, I think it's, it's almost childish, like a way that you think like in junior high or high school, you're like, oh, everybody needs to do this.
And I'm just going to, that's what I want everybody to be this way.
And you just, you have to like hit this reality where not everybody's going to be the way that you think people should be.
And so how we have to think from the perspective of, you know, not everybody's going to be a Christian.
Not everybody's going to be, you know, we're just, it's never going to happen.
I think I had the gift of never feeling that way because I moved every year and a half.
And I was a bit of a chameleon in high school because I had been to so many different schools, 11 schools by the time I was 16.
And it gave me the gift of not trusting groups because they were often so cruel to me when I was young, girls, boys, whatever, in different parts of America.
I was in Minnesota.
I was in the inner city.
I was in the suburbs.
I was in Connecticut and different areas in Connecticut and all over.
So I had the, I really got to, I never trusted a tribe.
I always was very skeptical of the group think in general because I was often the victim of their, their, that was their target a lot, just being the, the outsider or the, you know, the little, I was joking the other day about how people were talking about go back to where you came from.
And I was like, I got told to go back to where I came from when I moved from one town in Connecticut to another.
Those people from Western Connecticut.
Go back to where you came from.
They're ruining Eastern Connecticut.
We need to build a neo-Connecticut people.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So I think that there's those stupid dad jokes we were talking about.
Neo-Connecticut.
I came from a kind of, I guess now it's like a casino part of Connecticut.
It wasn't at the time.
And then I moved to what was extremely rich outside of New York City, Connecticut.
And they were definitely very clicky.
And I didn't have the same group of friends growing up.
And I moved to a lot of towns where people were born and raised in the same town and they'd known the same people and they had the same group of friends.
And I understand that.
And I understand how someone coming from the outside can upset those dynamics.
And So I never really felt like, I think I was always so much of an outsider trying to catch up or fit in or be liked that I didn't ever, it never occurred to me to put what I believed on someone else because I was always just like, please don't bully me and like me.
Yeah.
Please love me.
I still love it.
I mean, I guess my upbringing is a little similar.
We moved a ton, like almost every school year.
So I think that kind of helped, but I, I think we have an inclination to when we think we've figured out the truth that we just want to like force everybody else to get on board.
Yeah.
You see other things, you know, I've got a daughter in junior high and she's starting to discover that plastic is bad and she's walking around her house going, this is plastic, this is plastic.
Why are you guys all this plastic here?
Like you just, her eyes have been opened.
Yeah.
So it's like that mentality that I feel is like a lot of people hit that and then they just kind of stick with that.
This is like our whole culture with weed.
They're all like 12 year olds right now.
It's like when the entire culture with weed is like a 12 year old discovering it for the first time.
They're like, look at this man.
It's awesome.
You're like, yeah, talk to me in like 30 years when you haven't done anything with your life.
No, I think that that's true too.
I'm sure I was definitely so so annoying.
I mean, I listened to AOC and I am like, I was AOC.
At 27 years old, I was definitely, I might, I don't think I was as arrogant as she was, but I was definitely as opinionated and liberal.
I was like bartending.
I was her.
They want me to write this piece for The Atlantic about how I was AOC.
You should have, you should have run for Congress.
I mean, I think I could right now.
You'd be like, she's thinking about it.
I can see the twinkle in her eyes.
There are two kinds of people in this world.
But you're like in LA.
Like I would, nobody would vote for you.
How dare you.
Are there any conservative congresspeople that represent Los Angeles?
What if I become the first?
My God.
I think I can do it.
Did she say that?
That's the biggest swear that I have.
Can we just get her to say, gosh?
Gosh, my gosh.
And then we're going to paste that on.
She's going to go, my gosh.
My goodness.
My gosh.
Goodness.
I mean it in a reverent way.
We need to teach when I say it.
We need to teach you all the replacement Christian swears.
My goose.
I usually say, oh, my goose.
Is that a language?
So when you were writing, I think it was this article, but I remember you had put out a call like for people who feel like self-censoring.
Yeah, self-censoring.
And you said that you're getting this overwhelming response.
Yeah, it was nuts.
I got 600 emails.
I'm still going through them.
Wow.
I need a social scientist to help me organize them.
Any juicy ones you want to share?
No, you know, it was interesting.
Yes, there were some that were very chilling.
I mean, it got, it got to the unexpected.
Some of the stuff that's happening even in healthcare, one person wrote from a place where they're in nursing, I believe in somewhere.
I don't even want to disclose, but they're in, and I've, I've double-checked this and know that it's, um, they're not kidding and not making it up.
And they were saying that, you know, this is more in regards to kind of how critical theory is starting to infect really every single aspect of our lives.
And they're, they're learning how to evaluate patients based on privilege, which is terrifying.
So essentially, yeah.
So essentially, and I don't want to start some kind of panic.
This is one isolated incident that I heard about.
So they have the skin tone chart when you walk in?
Or basically, yeah, you would, you would, if you were a person of color, you would get, you would be treated before, say, somebody who is white.
Someone as white as Ethan.
Someone as white as Ethan would be last crazy white.
Ethan would be in there with a heart attack and he'd be dead by the time he got treated.
I'm more pink, which is actually white.
And I don't want to start some kind of, I know how crazy conservative, conspiratorial minds can work.
I've seen letters from Glenn Beck's fans when they write me.
Love them dearly.
But I do think they're, you know, even having my stuff banned on Facebook or not banned, but having the Glenn Beck podcast that I posted on Facebook got taken down.
And I was saying to my cousin, I can understand how you would become conspiratorial and feel like there it's ridiculous.
You know, there is like this, there is, there's, they're give, there's a lot of reason to believe that they're, they're out to get you.
Yeah.
But I don't also want to fuel that and from one isolated incident.
So let me be clear: this is just one incident.
I don't need there to be some kind of, I don't want to fuel a race war or anything.
You know how we're going to, you know, how we're going to title this episode?
Yeah, this is Bridget Fedesey Awareness.
No, no, no.
We're going to, we're going to say, like, yeah, yeah, Bridget Fedesey starts a race.
Shocking reveals shocking truths.
Yeah.
Healthcare industry killing conservatives.
Woke health industry euthanizing conservatives.
If you watch one video, if you, if you listen to one podcast, you're make it this far.
This is going to be all my fault.
My mind instantly blown.
This is like the, I've made a huge mistake.
Never should come on this podcast and spread my conspiracies.
So that was one that was interesting.
And I've looked, I'm looking into more examples of that.
What I'm trying to do is, there's a lot of stuff in tech that seems to be going unspoken in terms of people not being able to.
It seems like, yeah, there's really no way for me to talk about this without stepping in it.
I think the best thing for me to do is to, I have to really approach it journalistically.
And I'm not necessarily a trained professional journalist, which is why I'm eliciting help and or soliciting help from anyone.
Please help me, even if you're a shrink.
And I have to look at the categories, break it down, see what the patterns are, then go back out.
Ideally, I would, I did meet with a woman who does this kind of thing for pharmaceutical companies in terms of get, and then I would have to do a big survey.
Ideally, it would be a blind survey across, you know, I just have to actually be kind of scientific about it to get some real information because the people who follow me are generally it's self-selecting.
So most of the people who follow me on Twitter or wherever find me, they are people who are politically homeless or whatever, however, you want to identify it.
So it's not necessarily representational.
It might just be indicative of something that exists, but it may not be as big or as worrisome.
Well, we've seen the politically homeless stuff in the Christian realm, too.
And I think that's actually a big reason the Babylon P took off like it did in 2016 is because we were willing to be critical of the left and of Trump and of conservatives in general.
Yeah.
And people, there was a lot of people that that really connected with.
Yeah.
Because within Christianity, you know, it's like Christianity has been has been, you know, locked up with conservatism for a long time.
And so for us to stand from the outside and say, you know, well, maybe it's maybe Christianity isn't always necessarily conservative.
Yeah.
Whatever that position happens to be on a given issue, it was interesting to see a lot of people latch onto that.
Well, that's Ben Howe's whole book of the immoral majority and just his own journey kind of from being essentially early in the tea party to seeing that it's not healthy for Christianity to put your party before Christianity.
You should be able to trust that God has got this and not exerting your will and kind of attributing it to him.
And his book was brilliant.
It's very eye-opening.
I mean, it's interesting because I asked my uncle about this, the conservative, when, when, during the election, because there is that rift that's a, that exists in Christianity and right now.
And you guys kind of are doing your part to what I see as stitching that.
And I try to feel like I'm doing my best to stitch the rift in the left.
And it's very hard.
But I think that that, that rift of, I asked my uncle why, you know, how, what?
And he said, well, you don't question the vessel that brings your relief.
And that's kind of the mentality of, well, he's a Trump, for example, is a vessel that is working.
God is working through him to help Christianity.
And I mean, it's the kind of crux of Ben's whole book.
And that's just fascinating to see.
And you were asking me before we even started talking, my perspective of Christianity.
And I'm, you know, I'm in recovery.
So there's a lot of Christianity that's embedded in the roots of where the foundations of the 12 steps.
Right.
And I'm in a 12-step program.
And I was raised, I always say I'm a recovering Catholic because of whatever my upbringing was.
But I think because of my experience, I feel grounded more in the principles of Christianity than necessarily the religion.
So I would do my best to try and be of service.
Like being of service is very important to me.
And I think being, you know, having strong foundations in your community, whatever community that is, I see people constantly online like complaining about the world and hashtagging this.
And it's like, go help your community, your immediate community.
What are you doing?
Go volunteer.
Go, there is so much you can do.
I go volunteer at a nursing home a block away.
Like there's so many, you don't, you can watch, you don't have to go very far to help people.
And generally, if you start working within your immediate community, it will radiate outwards.
That's really all we can do.
And so I think living by those principles, I see, I see from my perspective, that is something that's attractive to me about Christianity.
And I see it in Judaism is that sense of community, the sense of helping each other.
My friend got sick and her whole community, I see this in 12-step, you know, somebody gets sick and everybody is just shows up.
The amount of people that will, and I don't know that many of my friends who aren't, who are just kind of angryly yelling about things online and maybe don't necessarily aren't grounded in any kind of community at all have that level of support if they were to get sick or if they were to get, and that's why that's so important.
But you have, you can't, that doesn't come to you.
The level of entitlement that people have, like this constant complaining about, oh, we're all alone and isolated.
Well, go do something about it.
You know, get off, maybe put your phone down and get offline and go do something.
We see that on the we see that on the left and the right when whatever policies you think the government can implement to change things to make people better, you know, and it's just like that's the weirdest thing, the whole do something but the whole yeah, and the whole Christianity thing is, you know, Jesus saying he's going to change your heart and then you can go affect other people with that, you know.
Well, and Jesus, even being part of a church, you constantly have the things that people rail that the government needs to do when you are part of a church.
Maybe that's why we seem aloof.
I'm like, we have a community surrounding us that's, we support each other.
We, we help other people out.
And the support group, it's just built into that.
Right.
And yeah, so I think that's one reason that we seem to be perceived as taking or not as being uncaring in that area.
We're just not looking to government for it.
Right.
It's a, it's a weird, it's a weird thing too, because I hesitate.
I was just, it's weird being in the space that I'm in in terms of even like the middle, which I get lumped in with the intellectual dark web and quotes a lot, although I'm not anywhere near as smart as any of those people who are associated with it.
You're a very centrist Nazi.
I am a centrist.
I am a thoughtsy.
Like some of those Nazis are way far right.
And you're just kind of, you know, some fascism.
And there's a lot of atheism in that community.
And so I was recently with a bunch of atheists hanging out.
And I believe in God.
Are they like sacrificing a goat?
No, no, they don't believe in any of that.
We don't really know what atheists do when they hang out.
We just assume.
Well, so I definitely believe in God, but it's funny how I feel hesitant to even admit that sometimes in certain company because it's so frowned upon.
And so I can understand also why you not necessarily aloofness, but why you kind of just stick with people who you feel you can be, you know, honest about.
And it was funny because we were in this amazing location like Aspen, which is beyond, beyond beautiful.
Yeah.
It's California.
Yeah, Aspen, California.
It's the to be to be sitting with people who didn't, you know, who are like, well, it all just kind of happened around something that's that.
It was my just, it's kind of, it was a funny paradox.
It was funny to be like with the, I, I'm not one to pull the raft out from under people.
You know, I don't want, I don't, I don't care if you need to believe in nothing to get through your day.
I'm, I don't want to judge you for that.
And if you have to believe in, if, if believing is God and God helps you get through the day, that's, and that's what I was saying to the atheists.
I'm like, the reason everyone hates atheists is because you're going around pulling the raft out from under everybody and you're not offering anything in.
It's like, ah, nothing exists.
And then you're just drowning.
And they're like, good luck.
Yeah, we, we have an, there's an old Babylon B article.
It's like an op-ed from an atheist.
And he's like, I don't believe in God and I hate him so much that I'm going to devote my entire life to destroying him.
You know, just as much dogma.
Yeah.
I find atheism to be the fun.
Agnosticism, I understand, because, again, being the dirty centrist that I am, I choose, I'm very buffet style about religion because I'm like, well, I love Jesus, but I also think there's a lot of super cool stuff in Buddhism.
And there's some really great wisdom from Native American, like mythology.
And I love mythology.
I feel like I can pull from anything.
And that's me being a dirty centrist agnostic who does.
I just, my religion is I don't know.
I don't know.
And I believe in something much bigger than me.
Now.
Well, that's why we have you here today because we're going to tell you.
Tell me the good word.
I wait until you're doing a conversion.
Ethan.
Oh, my God.
That'd be so amazing.
Ethan, lock the door.
Convince me.
I start like an exorcist.
They're like, say 10.
The super awkward.
Like, we're standing here.
We know that there's one person in the room that needs to commit their life.
She's going to rise and raise your hand if you have responded to the Lord's Prayer.
So I do, I understand agnosticism, but I feel like with atheism in saying that something doesn't exist, aren't you kind of tacitly implying that?
Don't you have to believe that it exists and be like, no, it doesn't exist?
I don't know how that works logically.
I'm going to need some more of that marijuana before I can understand that.
I feel like it's one thing.
We were talking about that earlier, weren't we?
I think so.
Okay, I just want to make sure that was on the podcast.
Yeah, but not because I'm stoned.
That was a very convincing way to say that.
Not because I'm stoned.
I'm sober.
Six years.
That's awesome.
Six long years.
Impressive.
Here am I making jokes about how dare you.
I make so many.
We just lost a convert.
We almost had her.
Her hand was raised.
She was walking to the front.
I dated a boy.
Okay, so here's a fun story.
Want to hear it?
I got cursed with a plague by a Christian.
I'm not conspiratorial at all.
Like he called down curses upon you?
No, so I met this guy as a comic.
And then it turned out he was like a super evangelical Christian.
He was named John Christ.
No.
And so we started, we were dating, and he was also kind of a player.
So I didn't really understand how all these things combined.
And then he took me to his, it was very one of those like LA religions, I think, where celebrities go.
Yeah, yeah.
Ecclesia or something.
It was in Beverly Hills.
Okay.
And we went, and then I couldn't stop making jokes about it.
And then he gave me bed bugs.
He had bed bugs.
He had a jar of them and he handed them to you.
No, he gave them to me because he was living with this guy who was who had a college-age daughter.
And the daughter got bed bugs at college and brought them back.
And then he brought them to my place.
And it was like a plague upon my house.
So he didn't like declare.
We were hoping he was going to curse you.
Yeah.
He did.
Have you ever had bed bugs?
No, I know, but we thought he said a prayer and calmed them down.
I think he's like frogs.
I just don't think that I saw the prayer part.
I think it just happened and I blame him.
It's an interesting evangelistic strategy.
We could pretend to date atheist girls and leave bed bugs in their house.
It did.
Call down plagues and then they'll rethink their life.
I was in the fetal position.
I seriously was like alone on the 4th of July in the fetal position with all my clothes and garbage bags on my roof trying to kill all the bed bugs.
We had a scare because we found what we thought was a bed bug in my daughter.
It is a nightmare.
It is a nightmare I would not wish on my worst enemy.
We lucked out because we paid for the super expensive dog inspection where they bring like a dog inspector.
A German shepherd.
Yeah.
This one was like a beagle type dog.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Just to tell us that there are no bed bugs.
You were wrong about the bug that you thought was a bed bug.
No, it's worth every penny to get rid of it.
Yeah, that was worth decorating.
And just to know that we often have them.
They can live.
They can live for a year in your bed with not any feasting on you.
Feasting.
I like the word feasting.
Year-long fasts.
They're very religious.
It'll be a full-blown nuclear meltdown and bed bugs will still be alive.
You cannot kill these things.
I wonder what they were doing before beds got invented.
Yeah.
I don't understand.
They were just dirt bugs.
Dirt bugs.
They've traveled.
They get in walls and books.
I mean.
And everything.
Yeah.
They're resilient.
They should be cool.
I was like, what's the sign that I need to look at?
Because I'm a hippie too.
And so I took it as a sign that I needed to be resilient like a bed bug.
Never go away.
And you're going to have to burn all your clothes and move to get rid of me.
And now I have to track with this analogy.
Anyway, he got a restraining order.
I'm just kidding.
Totally kidding.
Well, I think we're going to continue the conversation, but it's going to be in the subscriber portion.
Yes.
So we're going to talk about, we don't really know.
We're going to kind of freestyle it.
We might get into some spoken words, some rap.
Yeah.
Talk about all the crazy cults that we've all been in.
Let me hear.
I'm trying to think of stuff that is like really people would want to hear about.
What do your subscribers want to hear?
We're going to talk about more kinds of bugs and feces.
I accidentally wound up on a sex call once.
All right, we'll talk about that.
We are talking about sex cult on the subscriber portion.
So make sure to let Seth know to raise the prices on the subscriber before we release this.
He's going to delete the subscriber portion.
Can we use that?
Editor.
I wasn't listening to anything you guys said.
All right, cool.
Thank God.
Hate mail.
Hey, oh, yeah, we got hate mail.
I was like getting ready to sign off here.
Let's get some hate mail.
What are you doing?
I really miss Adam Fork.
Oh, man.
All right.
I think we got some.
We got hate mail from a female reader, right?
Yeah, apparently we have a female reader.
Shouldn't it be love mail on this Christian-oriented site?
We don't get any.
We get some love mail.
We get some.
Yeah.
But the problem with all our love mail is they're like, oh man, I love your site.
Here is an idea for a headline.
It's always a leading.
It's always a leaded.
It's a fake.
A pitch.
Yeah, they're like, you guys are great.
I'm like, oh, this is so nice.
And they're like, now that I have your attention, here's a hilarious prince.
That's me.
Yeah.
So we wrote an article back in 2018, about a year ago.
California begins issuing a $1,000 fine for each tiny plastic communion cup served.
So if you've ever been in a modern church, they usually pass out the communion in these little tiny plastic cups.
So we said California was going to fine each one of those.
And this hate mail, Tina, that wrote us this.
Am I supposed to say her name?
Oh, yeah.
I don't know.
Just don't do the last name.
Yeah, we're going to call her Tina.
Just make up a name based on the hate mail.
Sheena.
Plastic couple or whatever.
That's what they usually do.
Dear.
Yeah.
Yeah, it's like angry from Arizona.
Yeah.
Something like that.
Exactly.
Triggered from Toronto.
Dear.
Yeah.
So Triggered from Toronto says, I am unhappy with the latest article on Jerry Brown, communion cups and baptistry water.
The author has failed to name and cites the legislation bill in order to allow people to investigate this further.
He's doing sleuth work.
This is the actually person we were looking for.
Oh, yeah, the actually person.
I took it upon myself to investigate.
And as of now, there is no such bill in California.
I've combed the internet.
Wait, so people think you guys are serious and write you angry hate mail?
This is one.
Well, we didn't, not all our hate mail is, but no.
This is an example of one.
Okay, this I understand more than people who write a satirical site knowing that it's satirical.
Most of the stuff we read is the angry stuff.
The angry, yeah, no jokes about Trump.
We get a lot of those.
Yeah.
So here, I looked on all MSM news sites.
No such bill has been recognized.
I feel like it's a giveaway if somebody's NSM instead of NSM.
We know where you're coming from.
We know where Tribe you're at.
No such bill has been recognized.
This is terrible journalism.
Please support your claims because this site has lost all its credibility with me.
And Snopes.
I will not be reading your site any longer.
I like the idea that she was getting all of her news from us for a while.
And now we've lost.
I like that she's like.
You guys just bagged up Snopes' claim against you.
I know.
Because a lot of times we do, we have our voiceover guy do like a rereading of the hate mail.
And I was thinking like a good film noir, like detective, because he talks about, Doug, I dug so deep and I didn't find you out.
But they didn't dig deep enough to just find like it's all over our site that we're a satire site.
It's on our Twitter.
It's on our Facebook.
Like the big caption that said, you're trusted source for Christian news satire.
It's everywhere.
Wow.
All this digging they did.
You did a lot of snooping to miss the completely obvious fact that we're fake news.
Well, yeah, and it cracks me up if you look at like the article mix on our site on any given day or like on the sidebar.
It's like all of these completely outlandish stories.
You're like, this is the site that I'm going to trust for men news.
Lost all credibility with me.
All right.
Noel.
Let's do this.
Let's play the outro so that we can jump into the craziest part of this episode where things are really going to get nuts.
Ready?
Yes.
And if you want to be ready too and you want to join us, you can go to babylonb.com/slash plans.
That's right.
And shove money in your computer.
And then you will get access.
Yes.
You guys subscribe.
This is doing, these guys are doing really great work.
She's a better, she's a better salesperson than we are.
They're doing great work and they're pushing the ball and they're converting people like me to not thinking that all things.
Where are you going with this?
Are you willing to fake a conversion to Christianity on the show just to get a subscriber?
You guys subscribe to the show.
They turned me one snip down.
It's like a zombie.
Her eyes are turning milky white.
I don't even know the terminology.
I've been converted.
It's like a vampire thing.
No, but for real, you should subscribe because they do great work.
Thank you.
Kyle and Ethan would like to thank Seth Dylan for paying the bills, Adam Ford for creating their job, the other writers for tirelessly pitching headlines, the subscribers, and you, the listener.