Guest: Michael Malice Michael's book: The New Right "The definitive firsthand account of the movement that permanently broke the American political consensus." Follow Michael Malice on Twitter (FYI Malice is not a Christian and does use salty language at times, though not on THIS podcast. Also he's a literal anarchist. You've been warned!) Warning: while there is no bad language in this episode we do get into more serious and sometimes uncomfortable topics. (1:42) Introductory interview with Michael Malice (11:32) Biden Vows To Return Nation To Era When Press Didn't Bother Reporting On President's Scandals (18:28) Trump 2020 Campaign To Simply Air Unedited Footage Of Democrats Talking (29:29) All Looney Tunes Shorts To Receive Epic Live-Action Remakes (35:56) MAIN TOPIC: Comedy as a Weapon (52:27) Hate Mail (56:59) Subscriber Exclusive Segment (57:24) Progressive Immediately Shouts 'White Supremacy!' At Every Image In Rorschach Test (1:11:14) Plan To Put Women On The Moon Canceled After They Find Out How Cold It Gets Become a paid subscriber! at https://babylonbee.com/plans
We had a special guest, and his name is Michael Malice.
And we talked about a lot.
He's way more professional at this than us.
He actually gets paid to do podcasts.
Well, actually, we get paid kind of too.
But he gets paid specifically to do podcasts.
So he's good.
But we just wanted to warn you.
While there's not going to be any bad words, we're very careful about those.
We do get into some topics.
So Ethan and I, if you can't tell, we just recorded Michael and it was a very good conversation.
I think it was maybe one of our best yet.
So here's the thing.
Michael Malice is not a Christian.
He's an anarchist.
He's an anarchist.
So we just wanted to make sure at the outset that you know that there are going to be some topics here that are addressed that are a little heavier than the normal topics that we address on the Babylon Bee podcast.
So if your five-year-old and your six-year-old are listening, you know, just maybe give it a listen yourself first.
Yeah, it's nothing crazy.
It's just we're a new podcast, so we're still establishing our voice.
Yeah, we decided it was a good idea to just do a little bit of a warning because our previous topics have been stuff like youth groups and fun rejected comedy headlines and that kind of stuff.
So since this one gets a little more political and a little harder edged, just make sure that you're ready for that.
That's all.
Yep.
And here we go.
In a world of fake news, this is news you can trust.
Punching the mainstream media in their stupid faces.
You're listening to the Babylon Bee with your hosts, Kyle Mann and Ethan Nicole.
Yes, welcome to the Babylon Bee podcast.
I'm Kyle Mann.
And I'm Ethan Nicole, and we have a very special episode of the Babylon Bee.
Not just because it is the only time we'll ever be able to say that this is episode seven, which is a special number.
Apparently, in podcasting, episode seven, if you can get past episode seven, that means your podcast is going to last.
And so just to fight through that, we got a special guest on who's like a professional podcaster.
And his name is Michael Malice.
He's quiet now.
Hi.
Oh, there he is.
I'm Michael Malice.
Congratulations on hitting episode seven.
Thank you.
Thank you.
We appreciate it.
We haven't made it through yet, but we just started.
Yeah, we have to make it to the end for it to count.
So we didn't know like this whole podcast has been a total experiment.
Like going in, we knew that it was a completely different animal than the articles that we do.
We're like, who are we going to interview?
What kind of people are we going to interview?
And like, we knew if we interviewed only people within like this Christian space, then we are our options for entertaining interviews would be really limited.
And we just didn't think that, you know, Christ talked to everybody in the Bible.
He was a very conversational guy.
He didn't, he wasn't like, you know, that was more of like a Pharisee thing to just talk to people who you agree with.
Michael Malice you are our first well you're our second interview in our first non-Christian interview well actually it's funny actually I guess I've judged you before I actually know what your views are Well, no, I actually had a project I was on the tentatively going to work on, and they were scared because I wasn't Christian.
And I looked up Amos, and there was a quote that says, I was a Philistine to the Philistines.
I was a something to the something.
I was all things to all men so the message could go forth.
And I got the job.
So even the devil can quote scripture when it suits his purpose.
So here we are interviewing the devil.
I'll just start out by asking you: you identify as an anarchist, right?
Correct.
So who would build the roads?
Oh, back to, oh, sorry.
Let me take that again.
You can't answer, can you?
You can't answer.
Start it.
Back to the drawing board.
The same people who build the roads now.
The groves are not built by Nancy Pelosi and President Trubb, certainly.
But, like, if you imagine the country and we never had roads.
Isn't the real question who will build the wall?
That's a good point.
That's a good man.
This guy's good.
This guy's good.
We've been stumped.
How have we already been stumped?
How will Lewis and Clark get to Oregon without roads?
They'll take the trail.
Yeah.
So, but the real question, the real question is, why haven't you moved to Somalia?
That's racist.
Just because I wear a turban.
We want you to go back to where all the libertarians came from.
That's Colorado.
Oh, Uray.
Yeah, I guess libertarians are more like just the pot smoking.
No, no.
Ayn Rand sent Galtz Gulch in Uray, Colorado.
Oh, okay.
So, okay.
So we're just trying to figure out, because just as a way to introduce you to our audience.
But I'm not a libertarian.
I'm an anarchist.
Yeah, you're an anarchist.
That's what I would say.
Libertarians are more just the pot smoking hippies.
And you're like full-on, like, let's explode everything.
That's the main thing I was trying to get to because your name sounds very punk rock.
Like, there's like Johnny Rotten.
Sure.
Sid Vicious, Polly Styrene.
And you're Michael Malice.
That's me.
It seems like you should go with Mikey Malice if you're trying to be punk rock.
You don't use like the formal sounding.
Mike.
You wouldn't, if you name your, your name is Johnny.
Johnny Rotten doesn't go by Jonathan Rotten.
Well, he goes by John Lydon now.
Oh, I didn't know that.
I don't know about him.
Yeah, yeah.
His second autobiography came out not that long ago.
It was terrible.
Your idea of like a utopia would be something like the movie The Purge.
Well, I don't.
That's like an anarchist utopia.
The purge, I wouldn't say utopia, but the purge might be a good moderate step in the right direction.
Okay.
So like if you were given the ability to recreate Tomorrowland at Disneyland, that's what you would do.
You'd be like, all right, we'll make it the purge.
Yeah.
I was thinking about recreating it more in Washington.
I like that.
Right on the streets of Washington.
The Washington slash.
Yeah, I think that's kind of like I just tweeted this out this week.
Washington was named after a slave owner, so therefore we should raise it to the ground.
Oh, yeah, that's right.
Yeah, there's something about that.
Like the White House was built by slaves or something.
And I saw your tweet.
Yeah, the Washington Post, which is failing badly, the very failed Washington Post, tweeted out that those tweets that Trump sent out were from the White House, which was built partially by slaves.
And I just retweeted, I go, you're named after a slave owner.
What are you talking about?
What the hell are you talking about?
Heck, excuse me.
Yeah, the line of reasoning.
Like, is that a news story?
Yeah, right.
It's just, it's clearly propaganda from their part, which is something you guys understand quite well.
How many times when you criticize, you publicly criticize the left, do people come right back with a criticism of Trump when they're talking to you?
Oh, there's a great account, Neon Taster, who's a great humorist on Twitter.
And he has this tweet where he just goes, if you criticize the left, even if not for Trump, people will bring up Trump incessantly because they don't know what to do.
And whenever someone does that to me, I will take their tweet and put that in his thread because this just shows that the masses are not capable of critical thought and all they can do is repeat their sloganeering.
It happens constantly.
Just the immediate jump to Trump.
And it happens the other way, too.
You criticize Trump and they'll come back and say, well, what about the Democrats?
Oh, yeah.
Or I'm a communist or I'm an SJW or you're just saying this because you wanted.
My favorite thing to do, and I talk about this in my book, is when I'm arguing with conservatives, is to say the indisputable statement, more voters wanted Hillary to win.
And they freak out and they do their impression of Hillary despite themselves, saying, what difference does it make?
Well, the electoral college.
It's just hilarious.
All right.
So what is anarchy to you?
Freedom.
That sounds dangerous.
Nothing more, nothing less.
Yeah.
It's bad.
It's dangerous stuff.
People will do things you don't want them to.
They'll say things you don't like, and they'll buy things you don't want.
I don't like this.
So what if I don't like where this is going?
I don't like this at all.
So if there was a vote, if we put it to a vote.
There's no voting.
Democracy and freedom are incompatible.
If we put it to a vote that we'd stop voting, you'd be stuck in a catch-22 situation.
Yeah, would you vote for no voting?
Notice that a catch-22 situation is a government situation because it involves the military.
And Emma Goldman, who was the mother of anarchism, had said that if voting changed anything, they would have made it illegal.
On to other aspects of you, you have other things about you.
You've written books.
I have.
So you've written, you're like, you've done ghost writing, and you have a book about North Korea that's, but it kind of, it claims to me, it's like his autobiography.
It's the unauthorized autobiography of Kim Jong-il.
It's called Dear Reader, and it says in the cover, as dictated to Michael Malice.
Yes, it's in the first person.
So when you wrote this book with Kim Jong-il sitting there ghostwriting, why didn't you jump up and quickly stab him in the throat with your pen?
Well, he was dead at the time.
Well, that's no excuse.
Yeah, Kim Jong-il, he died in 2011.
Yeah.
I can't keep track of him.
My phone can't stand it.
That name, autocrack, just messes it up every time.
Which one?
Un or ill?
All of them.
Well, I actually, this is a funny aside.
I say I love you to my wife so many times, so often that if I type IL in my phone, it turns into I love you instantly.
So whenever I try to just put Kim Jong-il into my phone, it says, Kim Jong, I love you.
I like how it's like, I say I love you to my wife so often, but you're not actually saying I love you.
You're just writing three letters because you can't even bother to say it.
Because I can't be bothered.
It's too much.
Yeah, I don't want to mess it up.
She doesn't know I have that.
Now she, well, she doesn't listen to this podcast.
Is there anything else we should ask?
Do you feel like people have a good idea?
Is there anything we're leaving out?
Probably a lot.
I mean, you have a whole life.
don't know i i just think i think a lot of your listeners would i have a lot of christian followers christian conservative followers on twitter um and And they appreciate the use of humor to pull the mask off of the enemy.
At the same time, they don't appreciate some of my Casey Anthony jokes.
So we're walking a fine line.
Yeah, and I would say I found you on Joe Rogan.
That's how I discovered you.
And I would just say you're an original thinker, and that's hard to find in this world at the moment.
A lot of people are kind of tag teaming off of what other people say and repeating things.
And you are a guy who comes at things from this other direction.
And so you're just, if nothing else, you're a fun follower.
You're very respectful to people that you disagree with.
No, I'm not.
I'm nasty.
You just said you make Casey Anthony jokes.
Yeah, no, yeah, you're a troll.
You have a whole defense of that, which I actually really appreciate.
Oh, yeah.
But if people come for me, I am cutting their throats.
I'm not going to.
Listen, you said I'm not a Christian.
I'm not this turn the other cheek fella.
I'm two eyes for an eye.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Well, we're going to have an altar call at the end where we invite you to receive Christ into your heart and come to the front of the room.
He's going to change his last name.
I'd have to find my heart first.
His last name would be like Michael Mercy.
Yeah.
You know, there is a Michael Kindness who works at Random House.
And if we ever met, the world would end.
Yes.
All right.
So I think with that, we are going to talk a lot more because Michael's going to join us for the whole show.
We're going to jump into our stories of the week.
Every week, there are stories.
These are some of them.
All right, our first story this week.
This is from a little while ago.
Biden vows to return nation to era when press didn't bother reporting on president scandals.
It is interesting, like the complete difference in the just the way that the press talks about the president.
Just talking about the whole idea that the Trump's tweet originated in the White House, which you could just say about any single tweet that originated in the White House.
Here's the other thing: they could have just as easily said Trump's tweets were written in America, which was partially built by slaves.
Yeah.
I mean, right?
You could write that headline just as simply.
Anything written in America?
It's like such a random connection to draw to me: the house was built by slaves.
It's like, what does that have to do with the tweet?
I don't even think that's true, by the way.
Plus, it was burnt down.
Plus, Harry Truman, you know, was gutted during Harry Truman.
So the White House you go in now is not the White House that Lincoln slept in.
They only kept the frame because it was like all rotting inside.
Yeah.
So this is the idea that, you know, there's all these slaves by hand putting together this White House is just a fallacy and an irrelevancy.
Yeah, but that's kind of what we see.
And, you know, when you have a Republican in the White House, you always see this, all of a sudden, the media wakes up to all these scandals.
All the scandals, all the injustices.
And maybe they are sometimes scandals and injustices.
Sure.
But they only report on them when you've got a conservative in the White House or in Trump's case, a Republican in the White House.
Yeah, they will say what they, I mean, during the 90s, when Bill Clinton was impeached, and remember, he was impeached.
He was not removed from office.
There was a credible rape claim against him by Juanita Broderick, and it was NBC or ABC, I forget which.
They sat on the story because they didn't want to influence impeachment.
Meanwhile, last year, Brett Kavanaugh, who most certainly is a good Christian, there are claims of him being a drunken gang rapist.
And that woman couldn't get on CNN.
Julie Swetnik couldn't get on CNN fast enough.
So this is, it's amazing to me when people find it to be hypocritical or a double standard or a bias.
It is their goal.
This is the agenda.
The bias, saying it's bias implies that it's secondary.
It is not secondary.
It is the primary purpose of the corporate press to control human opinion in this country.
I think when we wrote this story about, you know, Biden vows to return a nation to era when press didn't bother reporting on the scandals.
I think he had gone on the view and he had said something.
He had touted that old claim like, you know, the Obama White House didn't have any drama.
Well, it was like a scandal-free eight years.
You know, that's always what they say is a scandal-free eight years.
You know, but half the stuff that people are screaming about about Trump now started during the Obama administration, or at least got, you know, was furthered during the Obama administration.
Well, I think, let's ask the median American, which would you rather have, Obama with scandals or the dreamers and Obamacare?
In fact, it was C.S. Lewis, who is that great Christian who I do quote in my book, who makes the point that I'm going to paraphrase him.
I don't have the quote in front of me, that he would rather be under the aegis of corrupt people than under moral busybodies because the corrupt person can be bought off.
But when that moral busybody oppresses you, he does so with the bonus of his own conscience.
So he will never let you sleep.
And this is exactly what you see with these types who basically want to drive anyone they disagree with from the face of the earth.
Yeah, Lewis has that great quote about the worst tyranny is one that's sincerely exercised for the good of its victims.
Right.
Yeah, I was thinking like what you're seeing.
What if there was a person who ran for office and their entire platform is, I will do absolutely nothing.
I will sit there and I will eat donuts and I will drink surge and I will do nothing.
Maybe Michael Miles would you vote for that to the polls, man.
Other than them drinking monster instead of surge, that is my candidate, baby.
Are you sponsored by monster?
First of all, I do adore monster, but coincidentally, it also says on the label that it's drink, it's drunk by drank, drinking, drunk, it's drunk by anarchists.
Oh, yeah.
English is my second language, I'm saying.
I don't even know where surge came from.
That was some weird latent thing in the back of my head from surge when I was a teenager.
Yeah, what the heck?
He's like, oh, you're talking about tab.
I know.
new coke you know maybe it's it's are you a big fan of the iraq war Is that what that was?
The Surge.
The Surge.
I drank Surge like crazy for you Young'ins.
Surge was a very popular drink in the 90s.
It was not very popular.
It was marginally popular.
I thought it tasted like Mountain Dew with pepper in it.
I always thought it had pepper and it was weird.
I didn't like surge.
Yeah, they tried to bring it back.
I thought they did like a Kickstarter or something.
I don't know.
Yeah, it's back.
It's back.
Oh, it's back?
That's surge.
Oh, yeah.
Good old internet brings everything back.
Resurged.
The resurge in resurgence of surge.
So I got to say, I actually do like the press.
I like how the press behaves a little bit more when there's a Republican in office that they're actually paying attention.
Yeah, it kind of rips their mask off.
It's almost like the press does their job when there's a Republican in office.
That's true.
And then when they just go a little too far and a little too crazy.
But I prefer that to the alternative where you have Obama waging all these wars and the press just gets in line.
Oh, yeah.
I had this article before Trump was elected about Obama being the guy in the tan suit.
I'm like, when you're talking about war, you're talking about people dying.
And I know a lot of times people don't care, but you know what?
There's also people dying overseas.
And sure, maybe we care about Americans first, but it's very, it's a bad idea to be dismissive of those lives lost.
And it's much better to have a president that you are, let's say, skeptical of if you're going to make decisions about, am I going to send tens of thousands of troops overseas instead of someone that you're credulous about?
And the amount of blood on the hands of the corporate press cannot be overstated, nor their bloodlust and their desire for war.
And I'm sure many people listening to this remember very vividly that when President Trump bombed Syria, they're falling all over themselves.
Oh, he's finally presidential.
And this equivocation between being presidential and blowing things up and killing people to me is outrageous.
And one of the big failures of the right wing in this country is that Reagan and Thatcher won the Cold War without firing a shot, liberated half the world.
Why is this not talked about every five minutes?
Yeah, good point.
Well, we're Christians, so we like war.
I come not to bring peace, but a sword.
Something like that.
Don't bring peace, but bring an M1 Abrams.
Our second story of the week is the Trump 2020 campaign has decided it will simply air unedited footage of Democrats talking rather than cutting up some commercials and trying to convince you of their position.
I'm not going to hire any writers.
It's just, let's just play.
You know what amazed me is Trump tweeted out these really like questionable things, and it somehow turned into a win for him.
I don't follow politics enough for this job.
All right, you guys keep up.
Remember, it was less than two weeks ago where we're at a point where the Democrats were attacking 4th of July parades, but they're like one week away from endorsing free abortions for illegal immigrants.
So this story is actually pretty spot on.
Not even satire.
Well, I don't know if we pay for abortions in California for illegal immigrants, but they just approved the free health care.
Right.
I have to believe that if you're going to be paying for gender reassignment surgery for illegal aliens, which I don't know if they are, but if you're going to have comprehensive health care, that's going to be included.
Why wouldn't you include, I mean, For pro-choice people, healthcare and access to abortion are, in their mind, synonymous.
So if you're going to be providing healthcare to illegals, you're going to be providing abortions to illegals.
This is not going to fly in Peoria.
Yeah.
I haven't looked into the details of that law, but I mean, I assume, because to them, that's what healthcare is, right?
What are some of the greatest hits?
If they made this video of cutting together things Democrats have said.
Yeah, what would be the...
I know that I really liked when AOC was demanding that she be sworn in, and the guy's like, we don't really...
That's not really what we do.
But I guess if they really want us to.
Yeah, I don't know.
What would be the greatest hit?
So they did that press conference.
What are we calling them now?
The squad?
Is that the squad?
Yes.
The squad, the four congresswomen.
And the fourth one barely squeaked out.
Ana Presley.
She just came out of nowhere.
It's like, how is she in here?
Yeah, they did that press conference after Trump's tweets telling them to go back to where they came from.
And whatever they said was so that they turned a winning situation into a loss for them.
Well, here's the thing.
I'm an immigrant, right?
If we're supposedly this nation of immigrants, being an immigrant means you're perfectly and oh, America's my home.
Well, if you're an immigrant, you're perfectly happy leaving your home and go to another country, aren't you?
That's what immigrant means.
I don't know.
So was Trump's tweet racist, Michael?
Yes, because racist means that which is not progressive.
The right doesn't understand how the left uses language.
That Ayana Presley was just last week or this week on stage at Netroots saying, we don't need brown faces that don't have brown voices.
We don't need Muslim faces that don't have Muslim voices, right?
So in my book, and I discuss this all the time, the progressive, I call them the evangelical left.
It's a degeneration of the social gospel, which you can trace all the way back to Woodrow Wilson and a little bit earlier than that.
And for them, being anti-racist is a state of grace.
Being black is a spiritual state.
It's not a literal thing, which is why when they say Bill Clinton was their first black president, when they say Clarence Thomas is not black, they are not being facetious.
They are being literal.
To them, it's like the Eucharist.
And that explains why they'll be like, oh, you're not really, like if you have someone who's a gay conservative, right?
They'll be like, oh, you're not really gay.
Well, I mean, tell that to his parents.
Yeah, it is interesting.
They have everything.
They have their doomsday.
Yes.
And they have their revelation, which I notice I used it in the singular correctly.
They have their revelation, which is the victory of good over evil when the Republicans and the right are finally going to be wiped off and we have this millennial rule.
Millennialism is a very essential basis of contemporary progressivism, though they don't even realize it.
Yeah, I think there was that week back like in January when Lady Gaga came out against Mike Pence and saying, you're the worst Christian that there could be.
And then in the same week, I think El Casio-Cortez was saying, you know, the world's going to end.
That's what she came out with, the world's going to end.
Oh, yeah.
And it was like this perfect collection of all the religious things that the left was saying.
They were standing on the street corners with the end is near sign.
But specifically, the social gospel took the concept, and I went back and read these books from like the early 1900s, that instead of salvation being a function of the individual soul, salvation is a function of a nation, which is why they're so big on deplatforming, because if you're going to save a nation, there is no room for sin or heresy within its borders.
Yeah, that's why it's so bizarre to me is the way that I think.
But I'm like, civil conversation among people that completely disagree is the most fascinating thing to me.
Like, I love it.
And there's an aversion to it among, it seems like people on the left.
And there's a part of the right too.
But if you're religious about your beliefs, there's just no room for that.
And that seems to be a problem.
You're specifically fundamentalist about your beliefs.
You can be, many Christians are very religious about their beliefs.
They have no problem talking their beliefs.
No issue whatsoever.
Because part of being a Christian is having humility and realizing you're fallen and you need a helping hand from the guy upstairs and so on and so forth.
This, when you're a fundamentalist, when you really have everything figured out from A to Z, that's when there's no room for error to permeate.
And that's part of the appeal of fundamentalism, that it's got everything covered for you.
And the question becomes, all right, now I have this worldview and these bad ideas and bad people are seeping in.
What do I do?
Well, that's when you get their version of the purge.
Yeah, and it's really cowardly, right?
And it's like, you know, you're just so scared to let any other ideas in.
Like, if you were brave with your beliefs, you wouldn't be so scared of other ideas, at least getting some airtime.
But you just can't allow it.
Right.
Because I mean, to them, it's almost psychologically equivalent as it would be for us to have a television network talking about how great pedophilia is.
It's just a non-starter, right?
So for them to have these ideas, white supremacism, white nationalism, racism, i.e. that which they disagree with, to have this in living rooms is just like, are you kidding me?
This cannot be allowed to pass.
Yeah, I noticed that the social gospel, as you're calling it, or what has evolved from the social gospel on the left is, you know, it's very similar to religion, but for them, they don't have a path of salvation.
Yes, they do.
It's being woke and it's being initiated into the mysteries.
But, you know, in contrast with Christianity, where we believe in grace, you know, and salvation by faith, their thing is do better.
No, they believe in salvation by faith because that's what virtue signaling is about.
Once you recognize your fallen nature, your racist nature, your privileged nature, you are thereby saved.
And it is your duty to try to save as many others as you can and to also fight the enemy.
Yeah, but the distinction that I see is that for them, there's never true, you never arrive.
You know what I mean?
You're always having to do better.
Oh, you always could be thrown back to the wolves.
One misstep and you're chucked out.
For them or for mainstream Christians?
For the left.
Well, no, I mean, I think that's also, you know, isn't that a very common Christian view that we're all by our nature sinners and that, you know, even if you are saved through grace, you still have things that you have to apologize and atone for.
Well, no, I mean, Christianity, at least Protestantism, which Ethan and I are Protestants, would say that our sins have been completely atoned for.
Now we have to improve.
We still have to improve, but that doesn't save us.
Sure, but you're still, you don't claim that you never do sins in the future now that you've been saved.
You're going to do them a lot because of your nature, no?
Well, speak for yourself.
I'm perfect.
Careful, that's heresy.
Yeah, I think it's, yeah, I think the main idea Kyle maybe is getting at is it seems like on the left there's a walking on eggshells that goes on no matter how high up you are.
Like you could tweet something wrong at any moment and suddenly be disavowed.
I don't think that's a function of their theology.
I think that's a function of their dynamics because it is so aggressive and so based on dominance and oppression as a goal that, yeah, you have to be on eggshells because it's extremely hierarchical.
It's extremely vindictive.
Mainstream Christianity is much more about forgiveness.
Traditionally, it's much more about, all right, you know, I messed up.
What can I do to make it right?
Whereas there, and you're going to talk to your pastor or to, you know, God, you're going to pray.
Whereas there, your pastor, and I'm not using this as a metaphor, this is literal.
Your pastor is Rachel Maddow or Chris Hayes.
These are literal televangelists.
They tell you who the sinners are.
They tell you who the bad people are.
They tell you the parables of the day.
It's exactly a sermon.
I'm not exaggerating or being figurative, but Rachel Maddow is not taking your call.
So now you're in a bad position because you have sinned, but there's no one to seek absolution for.
And the people who you would seek absolution for, maybe someone who's higher on you in terms of being oppressed, they're not in a very forgiving mood.
They're going to be in a very vindictive pound of flesh mood.
And that is psychologically a very scary place to be.
Yeah, one of those strangest things I've ever seen, and we need to move to the next story, but things are getting fascinating here.
When Bill Maher had to repent of using the N-word in the way that he did on his show.
referring to himself the way he headed he did a whole separate episode with uh spacing on the guy's name uh tyson something tyson the uh black preacher guy who he's kind of uh mike tyson no That's my preacher, baby.
Was I Sharpton or?
I wasn't Sharpton.
He was those Sharpeny kind of guys, though.
I blanking out.
I can see his face in my head.
One of those Sharptony kind of guys.
Wow.
Wow.
One of the guys who's always there.
He's always there whenever there's some kind of thing on TV.
He's like, you need to do better.
I'm sorry.
Yeah.
Like Jesse Jackson or something.
It was just so awkward.
And you can see he was like, Bill Maher was really hunched over and like just repentant, very repentant.
But you can also see he was very annoyed by it.
This is what I was speaking about.
Like he had a means to seek absolution from someone in a position to grant to him.
The average dimwit on Twitter is not in that position.
So they have to live in fear.
That person you're referring to is not taking their call.
It was Bill Merr, Ice Cube, and Michael Eric Dyson.
Michael Eric Dyson.
That's him.
Not Dyson.
Dyson.
Close.
The vacuum.
Like the vacuum queen.
Yeah.
Yeah.
He sucks your sins away.
Yeah, exactly.
All right, let's move on to our third story.
All right.
I didn't think we'd be talking this much about theology, but here we are.
Well, we're going to get real theological here.
We're talking about Looney Tunes.
So we did a story this week.
This is one of my, this is my favorite because it's about cartoons.
All Looney Tunes shorts to receive epic live-action remakes.
And the image, which I painstakingly photoshopped, is of a very photorealistic coyote planting a bomb in some bird seed for a very realistic looking roadrunner where you can like see every individual glistening hair on their body from the back of the movie theater.
Because that's like my little beef with the new Lion King and all this stuff.
They call live action, and it's not at all.
It's just detailed cartoons.
Is your OCD triggered?
I get pedantic like that too.
And then you kind of have to like freak, and then people around you laugh.
It's also interesting, you remember the Star Wars prequels where there was many of the characters had extremely old school racist accents.
Where if they were, right?
It was just like, they're really like this like very Asian accent.
Jar Dra Binks had this very, if this was an actor using that voice, it would be regarded understandably as either obscene or at the very least outdated, like when Crusty the Clown does that racist routine he did with his stand-up act on The Simpsons.
So you can imagine how easy it's going to be if, you know, the coyote's putting down bombs, let alone Speedy Gonzalez.
Oof, that's gonna, that's a whole other can of worms.
Yeah.
Yeah, there's so, well, I think like the attitude, especially I've seen about like the Lion King, I remember seeing this thing.
I can't remember who posted it, but they're being, if they're being honest, they're showing an image from Lion King, the original animated 2D, and then the 3D.
You're like, look how far animation has come.
And it's so insulting to the amount of work that 2D animation take to say that.
Like it was, oh, they wished they could do this, but they were stuck with this crummy 2D drawings.
Or what about like Snow White when it's by hand and it's just, you know, excruciating.
Yeah, it's rotoscope.
They drew right over film for that.
It's kind of a minor miracle that, you know, is it what, the 30s that these movies were made?
I mean, at the time, it must have looked like magic, and understandably so.
Yeah, Snow White's funny because it was the first full-length animated feature to ever be made.
And there was actually newspaper articles saying that people would, I think where they said, like, people would get ill or they would seize up or be from that much of the flashing bright colors for that long, people couldn't handle it.
There were people saying, like, no, he won't be able to handle this.
You can't do a, because cartoons had only been like 10, 15 minutes up to that point.
And I think Walt Disney was maybe in his late 20s at the time, he was so young.
It's just amazing.
He must have been so high.
Because can you imagine sitting down and pitching this to people and them being like, dude, do you know how much time and effort this is going to take?
It's going to take us 100 years.
And he's like, no, everyone's starving.
We'll get them cheap.
It's the depression or whatever it was.
And they're like, all right.
And he did it.
No, yeah.
And it's crazy.
If you've ever attempted animation, I have a background in that.
And they go overboard.
Like, there's scenes where Snow White's walking around with, like, you know, they could have just done a bunny and a deer, maybe, but she has a whole flock of wildlife following her all around the screen.
And they're all moving so fluidly.
Like, if you watch cartoons now, they skip out frames or they use computers to kind of make it more fluid.
Back then, they were doing every single cell, 24 per second.
And they were all hand-painted.
It's just crazy.
My favorite comic book series, The Legion of Superheroes, when they were starting out in the 60s, Kurt Swan, who is like the quintessential Superman artist, when Jerry Seinfeld had his American Express ad, that was the version of Superman he wanted next to him, the Kurt Swan Superman.
It's a Legion of Superheroes.
And he complained to the editor: he's like, look, from now on, there's going to be four people per panel.
Like, that's it.
I'm not drawing this Legion every single panel of 15 superheroes with their different clothes.
So, again, with the Snow White stuff, we take so much of this hard work for granted.
And because back, you know, with other, many other things, like back in the day, that it's like you have to think about it.
They didn't have any of the tools we had, and they still managed to pull it off.
Like, I mean, the very obvious example being the pyramids in Egypt.
It's like, this is insanity.
It's just insanity to even think about it, that someone had this idea.
Yeah, on that topic of like being given a crazy assignment as an artist, when I was doing Axe Cop with my little brother, he came with a character named Everyman, and he was part man.
He's half man, half everything.
So when he turned into everything, he was just this giant cloud of every single thing that exists.
And I had to draw this.
So it just ended up being this like gray swarm where like the more detailed parts you could see, you know, like an antelope and a basketball and a kitchen sink.
And it was intense.
So what gets me about these live-action remakes is they either, every scene either replicates the original precisely, in which case it's like, what's the point?
Yeah.
Or they come up with the, you know, they'll add a two-new song.
What's the gritty version?
They're trying to be more gritty.
Yeah.
Or they'll do this, you know, yeah, they'll do alternate scenes, like there's a whole new subplot with this character, or, you know, they go and add a whole new song.
And then it just feels like really cringy fan fiction.
You know?
So it's like, what is the point?
I don't get it at all.
Yeah, I mean, and I don't hate them.
It's just like, to me, it's just pointless.
It's overall sad that like all of our big budget movies are remakes.
And, you know, I blame the free market.
It is the free market.
It really is the down.
There ought to be a law.
In 20 years, there's going to be some app, right?
That if you put in a cartoon, you press the app and it makes it into the 3D version, right?
This is a no-brainer.
It's going to happen.
And you can just make people you hate into dopey.
If I ever became insanely rich, I would buy all the IP in the world and I'd do one final movie where they all die.
I'd be like, all right, everybody, now you got to make new stuff.
Like everybody, all the Marvel, you're going to buy Star Wars.
All the intellectual properties.
All the intellectual properties.
They all get together and they just get in a spaceship and die or something.
Intellectual property is theft.
Oh, okay.
That was a change of topic.
Why don't they just retire?
Like, I mean, it's got something that more.
Why has he got to be a spaceship?
I was just trying to be somewhat creative.
No, I wanted to make it dark.
Okay.
Good lord.
Wow.
It's my movie.
Well, you could just rapture them, huh?
Yeah, I guess.
Yeah, something always happens.
All right.
Should we jump into our main topic?
Are you ready for this?
And now, the Babylon Bees topic of the week.
This is a beefy episode.
We're like almost this is as long as a full episode usually is, and we haven't started the main topic yet.
I do like flapping my gums.
Yeah, this whole episode is just absolute anarchy.
Complete anarchy.
Complete mask.
Pandemonium.
It's like the purge.
I feel like I'm getting stabbed by a guy in a clown mask.
This topic was brought to us by Michael Malice.
It was his idea, so I'm probably going to just give him the floor, but he wanted to talk about using comedy as a weapon, sort of like a guy in a clown mask in the purge with a knife.
Well, what do you, I mean, this is when you when you guys do the Babylon Bee, is it incidental or is it central to your thinking that much of what you put forward deflates the corporate press narrative?
We're just kidding around, man.
It's just a joke, man.
It's just a goof.
All right.
I think everyone heard the answer.
I mean, everyone heard the answer they needed to hear.
So, okay, understood.
So one of the things I do talk about in the book, and something I do very heavily on Twitter, is I think conservatives, and where I break with conservatives, and I criticize conservatives very heavily about this, is if you have a group of people who are not working in good faith, who if they had their drothers, would banish you from the country if not send you to the gulag, if they're saying, oh, you're this, you're that, no, I'm not, you're letting them set the frames of debate.
And now this kind of thinking has become somewhat more common on the right.
But a great mechanism the left, the evangelicalist specifically, uses to get over is their air of sanctity, their air of being the good guys, holier than thou.
We're bringing decency and empathy and sympathy and all this good stuff.
We care about people.
And everyone who disagrees with us, since we care by definition, doesn't care.
So instead of engaging and being like, oh, I'm a compassionate conservative, it's like, no, we're going to clown you because you people are buffoons.
And that drives them crazy because what they love is thinking of themselves as on a pedestal.
So it's time to knock them off that pedestal.
And you do it hilariously and very effectively.
And you know, it drives them crazy.
Yeah, I think it drives them crazy because they really like to believe that they can decide what can and cannot be joked about.
We get that all the time.
Get told that we, hey, you can't joke about that.
Yeah, there are so many sacred cows in politics and religion that you can't make fun of that the mind of the comedian has to step back and say, hey, a lot of this stuff that you guys are talking about isn't that important.
And you can really deflate, I mean, both sides of the debate.
I love when comedy does that.
I was on TV on a panel with a conservative who shall remain nameless.
And we were talking about Henry Waxman, who was a former congressman from California.
And if those of you listening don't know who Henry Waxman is, trust me, take a second to look him up on Google because he is an unusual looking man, to say the least.
And I don't say this as someone who's particularly a hunk.
And I made the point that Henry Waxman looks like what would happen if a bat and a human being had a kid.
And he shows how the environment and humans glit together.
And he's the congressman from the island of Dr. Moreau.
And he was a hard left Gerald Nadler type Democrat.
And during commercial, this conservative girl turned to me and she goes, you know, you shouldn't talk about him like that.
He is still an elected official.
And I still cannot wrap my head around this kind of thinking.
That is bizarre.
If he was just some normal guy, I'd be okay.
If he was some normal guy, I don't think it would be okay, to be honest.
If he's some normal guy, and I'm being vicious about his looks, but I mean, this person has a lot of power over a lot of people, is doing from your perspective, Ms. Conservative, grievous harm to this country, and isn't watching me.
And the idea that he should be treated with respect when, in my view, and this is the anarchist talking, he's complicit in much murder and theft is just completely anathema to my perspective.
Yeah, that's an interesting point.
If you were making fun of a private civilian, you know, it's like, well, what have they ever done to you?
You know, where you're making fun of a guy that, in your view, has committed a lot of injustices.
Or at the very least, is a public figure.
Yeah, he's out there.
He put himself out there.
We get people critiquing us, you know, and we expect it.
You know, that's part of putting yourself out there.
Yeah, so it's, it's, I mean, one of the great things, and again, I'm sure a lot of conservatives will disagree with me about this.
One of the things I love about President Trump is he has brought some disrepute to the political process.
And I think the less highly you think of people in Washington, the better it is for our country.
I think these people are really just unconscionably horrible people, both in what they propose and in their personal lives.
And this, and I mean, to get a little dark here, we've gotten dark this episode.
The stuff about, you know, Jeffrey Epstein's and the Harvey Weinsteins, I don't think this is a symptom of a culture.
Yeah, there was a hashtag going around on Twitter the other day that was Obama was better at, you know, and you're supposed to tweet what in the blank or something like that.
You feel like Mad Libs.
Like all the things that Obama was better at.
And that kind of rhetoric has always bugged me because for all Trump's flaws, it's like, to me, he's not a major departure in any way from what presidents have done in the past.
And in a lot of ways, you know, he hasn't committed as horrible atrocities as a lot of past presidents.
Corporate press will tell you with a straight face, explicitly, I say this all the time, that there's never been as many attacks in journalism and on the First Amendment.
We hear this every day.
This is not a perspective.
It's a lie.
Woodrow Wilson put people in jail.
He put the head of the Socialist Party in jail.
John Adams, our second president, had journalists put in jail for criticizing the government.
So whether you think of Trump, good or bad, the idea that there's no precedent in this country for felonizing the press is a lie.
Oh, yeah, I think that that's one thing that has, like, with Trump and the way that he just doesn't care what the press thinks, it has, it's brought the press out in a way that, like, the Kavanaugh hearings were such a moment for me.
Red pill.
Holy cow.
Like, they're completely like just the insane things people would take a position on.
Like, even the, what was the big hashtag during that?
Believe all women, something like that.
I was like, or believe women.
Believe women.
There's this insane thing where you just say, yeah, whatever women say, believe them.
It was less than a month ago when Eugene Carroll was on Anderson Cooper and CNN.
Remember this?
And she had said President Trump, when he was a citizen, had raped her in the dressing room at Bergdorf.
Longtime journalist.
Many people on Twitter said, oh, this is such a credible claim.
And then she's on Anderson Cooper and she goes, well, most people when they think of rape, they think it's sexy.
And he's like, what?
No, they don't.
They think it's an assault.
And she goes, no, they think of the fantasies.
And he's like, let's cut to commercial.
And she goes, you're fascinating to talk to.
And they dropped her like a hot potato.
And I went back and I found all the blue checks, which are the verified people on Twitter, for those who aren't on Twitter, who had said this woman is credible.
And I just retweet, I go, do you still find her views to be credible?
And one replied and the others blocked me.
And the idea, this is the difference between a bias and an agenda.
If I make a mistake, which I'm going to make as a human being, which you guys have made and everyone listening to this has made, am I going to try to, you know, worry about this mistake making it again and have workarounds?
You know, if I'm a bad speller, I'm going to have spell check or have someone look it over.
Or am I going to do the exact same thing over and over?
And one is a function of having an agenda and one is a function of having a job.
And it is very clear, in my view, where they fall.
Yeah, it's really crazy to me that anybody who makes any kind of claim about Trump or has some criticism or grievance with Trump, they'll give him as much airtime as there is available.
Right.
They just had Richard Spencer on CNN.
For years, we have heard that Trump is an apologist for white nationalists and white supremacists.
Oh, he retweets them.
You know, because if you retweet someone, obviously you endorse everything they say, which is like, so when the History Channel is airing Hitler's speeches, that is a history channel saying whatever Hitler's saying is good, right?
And CNN just now has Richard Spencer being a political analyst who's a very prominent white nationalist without missing a beat.
And this is what I think conservatives need to understand.
They don't appreciate the shamelessness here and the brazenness of their furthering their agenda.
And I've said this many times.
And when you guys quote people listening quote me, make sure you give me credit.
The battle is won when the typical corporate journalist is regarded exactly as the average tobacco executive.
That is where we need to get to.
This is kind of jumping to another part of this topic, but because we're talking about comedy as a weapon, you are a big trolling advocate, and there's a quote in your book about what you define trolling as.
You say, trolling is meant to be clever.
At its best, it is the art of turning an audience into a performer by exploiting their flaws for comedic effect.
That's a pretty interesting take on that.
I was just trying to think if there's examples of this.
Yeah, so what exactly is trolling?
I'll give you, okay, a couple.
First of all, whenever terms become popularized, they lose their meaning and they just become kind of emotive.
For example, incel is short for involuntary celibate, right?
And I've seen people be like, why don't you go home to your wife, you dumb incel?
It's like, well, he's got a wife.
He's not an incel.
That's not what that means.
So troll has become to mean someone who's a jerk online.
And that's not what that means.
The quintessential troll, my great hero, Andy Kaufman, he had this character, and this is in the book as well, this character he did called Tony Clifton, who is this, you know, disgusting lounge singer.
And Tony Clifton had this bit where he say, hey, you know, my wife passed away.
I'm not going to do his voice.
He had a very hilarious voice.
But when my daughter comes out and I look in her eyes, I can see my wife.
And, you know, this is a great moment.
Let's bring her out for a duet.
So they start singing a duet.
The daughter's voice cracks.
He slaps her across the face and he's like, oh, you know, you're messing this up.
And the audience, of course, recoils.
The daughter starts crying.
They're booing.
And he goes, what are you booing at her for?
You're just going to make her cry more.
Now they don't know what to do.
Well, not only was this not his daughter, she wasn't even a child.
It was an actress.
But this is an example of trolling where you're exploiting the audience's sympathy for a child getting hurt, which Andy, of course, would never do that to a child, and making them act out.
And it's very effective on Twitter and other forms of social media when you have people who are really taken with their own intelligence and their own sense of self-worth.
And you just reply to them and watch the mask drop as they degenerate into apoplexy.
And a good example of this was when Trump went after those congresswomen and said, go back to your, you know, where you came from.
How many of these sanctified, wonderful people who would never stoop to his level start talking about Trump's wife, Melania, and using, let's just say, not very Christian language, but she's an immigrant.
Lots of them.
Yeah, I've been reading that you made that point, that the things that get said about Melania, you said them about Michelle Obama, but that would never fly.
Oh, that's right.
Yeah, there were all these jokes that President Trump, she's a male order bride, Melania, which is playing on this kind of Eastern European poor.
Like, you know, talk about exploitative.
These jokes are about women who had to buy their way out of starvation, right?
But ha ha, about Melania.
Can you imagine if someone made a joke about Barack Obama buying Michelle?
I mean, they would be driven out of polite society.
So when you say comedy is a weapon, now do you see this in the Babylon B?
I would like to know your perspective on how you see it in the Babylon B.
I absolutely love it.
I was just telling you guys before we start taping, I was just in Montreal with some buddies of mine who were trolls, and we were just shocked because it's very hard for people who are on the right in any sense, maybe culturally, socially conservative or Christian, although they're certainly left-wing Christians, of course, to be humorous and not kind of cutesy, like full house, but really going for the juggler.
And first of all, you guys clown Christians on the regular in very vicious ways, which is hilarious to me, and which I'm sure as someone who would be a Christian would find even funnier because you're playing on tropes that are encountered within the culture, the Christian culture.
But when you go after politicians for the nonsense, it's just, it's just shocking how well it's done.
And a good example of this wasn't you, but there was a meme, you know, when AOC took, went to those so-called concentration camps on the southern border and took photos of herself holding the fence and crying.
Very quickly, instead of being like, okay, we're going to argue with this woman, people on the internet had something called take the AOC challenge.
And they took photos of themselves holding a fence and crying.
That is how it's done.
Because even if everything she's saying is true, right?
What is you crying by a fence have to do with their plight?
Nothing.
If you're in a concentration camp, your concern is get me clothing and food and get me the heck out of here.
It's not, hey, stand there and make sure your hair and makeup are done right.
Yeah, we appreciate the correction from hell.
Yeah, and one more thing, I tweeted out, I go, I agree completely with AOC.
The people in these camps must be liberated and sent back home to safety immediately.
Yeah, it really does take, you know, when you can make a caricature of someone like that and show it in another context, it really does take a lot of the wind out of the sails of the original argument, you know, especially when someone's being really serious all the time.
Earnestness, yes.
But I would argue, I'm going to get pedantic for a second, which I'm sure you guys can appreciate.
They're a caricature to begin with.
But because we've been so inoculated through public education and the corporate press, we are kind of oblivious.
It's kind of the emperor has new clothes.
And it takes outlets like you and people on social media to be like, no, Not only is this a caricature, It's always been a caricature, but we've been taught to embrace it as somehow normal.
It is not.
And this is why I never say mainstream press, mainstream media.
And I always tell people don't say mainstream media because this is not mainstream.
This is a very extreme aberration and has to be regarded as such.
All right.
Well, I mean, I feel like we could talk forever.
We've actually gone about 15 minutes over at this point than years ago in this portion of the podcast.
So would you like to join us for our hate mail segment?
Oh, you know what I do on Twitter?
I do spite funding.
So what I've invented on social media, and just very briefly, sometimes Cretans will come for me on social media and I'll say, all right, for the next day, anyone who sends me money is going to go toward me buying a signed book that I don't even want.
And I will post receipts and people start PayPaling me money and I post the receipts and that Cretan who came for me now just generated $100, $150 purely out of spite for a product I don't want nor the person donating wants.
You know what I got?
I got a shaving brush made out of a hippo's tooth as a consequence of this.
I don't want it.
It's kind of cool.
It's not worth what I paid for it.
And people gave me money just because some idiot came for me on Twitter.
So yes, I love hate mail.
You shave with a hippo's tooth.
Yeah, that's right.
Just like in the Bible.
This is completely not even because we're going to talk about hate mail here in a second, but I had one question lingering in the back of my head.
You said that you hang out with other trolls.
Yeah.
You guys meet under a bridge or something?
Or where do you guys do that?
It was in Montreal.
Similar.
A bridge in Montreal.
Okay.
Yeah, it was a bridge too far.
Threatening billy goats as they crossed.
All right.
So here's our hate mail segment.
Go ahead, Kyle.
I really miss Adam Ford.
So this was a comment on a.
I don't.
Yeah, this technically isn't hate mail.
It's a comment, but we'll one of those hilarious all caps comments.
So we, I think we were criticizing progressives or it was, no, it was about, I think it was about the border.
It's where Trump was refusing to give a child gruel in the way that it was playing off of the Oliver Twist joke.
There was a conversation that had happened in the comments about the trouble at the border.
So this person said...
So they're referring to the immigrants, right?
Yeah, they're referring to the whole situation of the border.
So this person says, they are taught America owes them.
This is all caps.
All caps.
They are taught.
Oh, and no punctuation.
I'll just.
Of course.
They are taught America owes them.
I have a military solution, but Facebook would kick me off again.
Solution is spelled S-O-O-U-C-T-I-O-M.
Yeah, he has the final solution.
This is actually a woman.
She has a final solution.
I love that she says again.
Yeah.
Like she's threatened to blow people up before, and Facebook keeps kicking her off, kicking her off.
Oh, there she goes again.
I have a good military solution for this, but apparently it's not allowed by the Facebook terms of service.
It's always like the kind of boomer-aged women that have some idea to go nuke the people that we don't like or they have a military solution for it.
There's a great onion article that it reminded me of, and I can't remember exactly the headline.
It was something like Aunt.
Someone's aunt casually calls for war crimes on Facebook or something like that.
Aunt on Facebook casually advocates war crimes.
Yeah.
You know, things we didn't talk about.
One of my books, we talked, I mean a little bit we talked about my book on North Korea, Dear Reader.
And it was amazing to me.
There's this guy, Todd Starnes, on Fox News Radio.
And he was basically saying, well, Kim Jong-un insulted us and President Trump.
So we should just like unleash hell on earth.
And he said hell, I think.
You can believe me, uh, on North Korea.
I'm like, these people are slaves.
You have 25 million hostages being held prisoner by the government.
And your solution, it's like if my neighbor says horrible things to me, even my family, I'm not gonna go kill his whole family.
I'm sorry.
No matter what your perspective is, this is demented.
So, the breeziness with which people advocate, well, let's just go to North Korea and kill everyone.
Well, that also would be difficult to do in practical terms.
Yeah, I always think for North Korea, you need to send in a bunch of awesome ninjas.
That's the only way to do it.
Ninjas are definitely the way to go.
Well, they hate the Japanese, so they've been waiting for ninjas for a very long time.
So, that's going to be tough.
Yeah, I guess you've thought more about it.
He wrote a book about it.
Um, I don't know if you want to join us for the subscription portion, but we're going to do a couple more stories, okay?
So, we're going to sign off right now on the uh for all you freeloaders, yeah.
Dopes, yeah.
And uh, if you would like to subscribe, Kyle, you want to give them the whole pitch?
I've got the spiel that I uh that I give, so give it, yeah.
Uh, if you go to babylonbee.com/slash plans, you can sign up at any level and you get access to another 25, 30 minutes of content.
It depends around 30 minutes, but with Michael Malice, it's probably gonna be a couple hours.
It depends on how hot it gets in this garage, yeah.
It's hot when it gets too hot, we just have to cut it off.
So, do you want people to follow you, Michael?
Yeah, well, I don't know if your audience, I mean, there's gonna be a certain percentage of your audience that should not be following me, but the others can follow me on Twitter at Michael Malice and the books that you write, which is available everywhere.
Great, yeah.
Well, we already disavowed you, so we're okay.
I'll put links in the show notes and with a warning.
All right, until next week, thanks for joining us.
Thank you for joining us.
Thank you, Michael, for joining us and everybody.
Great pleasure.
Kyle and Ethan would like to thank Seth Dylan for paying the bills, Adam Ford for creating their job, the other writers for tirelessly pitching headlines, the subscribers, and you, the listener.