Join editor-in-chief Kyle Mann and creative director Ethan Nicolle for the third ever Babylon Bee podcast. Besides it being the historical number three episode, this is also the first ever interview, featuring conservative millennial Allie Beth Stuckey. Here are the week's news stories with timestamp: (7:06) Ocasio-Cortez Gets Head Stuck In Bucket (14:00) Liberals Confused By New Medical Procedure (22:48) Mother Seeks Emergency Surgery To Remove VBS Songs (30:10) Interview w/ Allie Beth Stuckey (55:53) Hate mail (1:03:53) Bonus! (Subscribers Only) (1:04:43) Church Employs Homeless Musician Thinking He Was New Youth Pastor (1:12:00) Man Dies Of Old Age In Church Parking Lot (1:16:26) Q&A Become a paid subscriber at https://babylonbee.com/plans
In a world of fake news, this is news you can trust.
Elbow dropping Satan from the top row.
You're listening to the Babylon Bee.
Here are your infallible hosts, Kyle Mann and Ethan Nicole.
What you are about to experience is a once in an eternity event.
Bear witness.
Behold, for it just so happens that you were born within that perfect narrow window so that you, blessed child, could be one of fortuitous spectators of this sacred moment.
Beyond infinity, throughout every galaxy, the story of humanity has reached this pinnacle.
A moment so unique that God's creation will never know another.
For there can be but one.
And this sound at this very moment is it.
The Babylon Bee Podcast, episode three.
Wow.
I'm inspired and moved.
Moved to tears.
To tears.
That was our good friend, Forgan Meeman.
Forgan Riemann.
Something like that.
Yeah.
He's huge.
He's really well known.
He did Parch of the Menguins and some really big movies.
Some other, yeah.
He's played God in a few different things.
Uh-huh.
Yeah.
We're glad to hear that he's a fan of the Babylon B podcast.
Yes, we were talking last week about how we needed to, or it's just really exciting every time a new episode comes out that we just make such a big deal out of it.
And he emailed me and agreed.
So he made that intro for us.
Yeah, we have all these people that have professional podcasts and it's like nothing to them.
And they do three hours of podcasts every day.
And then at the Babylon B, we're just excited little kids.
It's like Christmas for us every time we do a podcast.
Every time one finishes, like, oh boy, oh boy.
We get to do a third podcast.
We haven't been banned from iTunes.
We're like the five-year-old on the airplane that's like, oh my gosh, it's going up in the air.
Yay.
Speaking of going up in the air, so this is our first week that, because if it's not obvious, we've been recording these a little ahead of when they come out.
Like, for instance, last week, I talked, did all this talk about how my book got banned by Amazon, but then the next day after we recorded that, it came back.
Yeah, half of our content was about how the book was banned from Amazon.
And it wasn't.
And the rug got pulled out from underneath our feet.
So it's back on, but that's not the main thing I wanted to say.
The main thing that's happened in that time is that the podcast came out.
Yeah, so we have received reviews and comments.
So it's weird now that people actually, we know people are actually listening.
We didn't know that for the first two.
You may know about this more than I do, but I heard that this is true of television shows where there's a certain number of episodes where they haven't gotten any audience feedback.
Yeah, I have no idea.
And then you can see the show start to shift as they listen to audio feedback.
Yeah, I haven't, I mean, I've only worked on a couple television shows and they're animated.
You're my connection to Hollywood.
So anything to do with show business, I think of you.
That definitely happened when I worked on VeggieTales.
And that's a whole other story, but that's a can of worms.
But yeah, that happened a lot.
We made it in this total vacuum and then suddenly the feedback start coming in and there's like this uproar and fear and chaos.
And I'm probably not supposed to say any of that.
Well, luckily, that's not what happened with the Babylon Bee podcast.
It's pretty decent so far.
I'm really amazed, honestly, because just to be clear, like, we're not professional podcasters.
Like, this is...
What?
This came off like such a professional production with the...
It's only because...
And even the first episode, Kyle's, like, way too far from the mic and stuff.
But Seth, the uh, what do we call Seth?
The overlord?
What do we call him of the Babylon Bee?
Well, his official title is uh CEO, CEO, yeah, the CEO overlord of the Babylon Bee, Seth, was nice enough to buy us some sweet mics.
So we sound like we know, kind of know what we're doing.
At least our voices sound better than like people that record on Skype for their podcast, like Jordan Peterson does that all the time.
Yeah, so we're what we're trying to say is that our podcast is better than Jordan Peters.
But yeah, like we saw, like, so we're just casually searched religion and spirituality podcast rankings.
And we were at number one.
I don't know if it was just for a couple days, but above Joel Osteen, above Stephen Furdick.
Pretty crazy.
It's all thanks to you, listener.
This is similar to when the Babylon Bee took off as a website.
And it was really surprising to me.
I'm reading articles from websites that I really respect and trust, and they have great content.
And then this website where we're writing satire was, you know, outranking them in traffic.
And so it was just this crazy thing that I don't even feel like we deserve.
Yeah, yeah.
That's the thing is I feel like we have to like earn what we've been given here with the amount of amazing amount of reviews.
And in fact, we're going to share one of our favorite reviews at the end of the show here today.
It's our first one-star review we got.
Stay tuned for a dramatic reading.
Yes, and Dave will do it.
I know we didn't have a dramatic reading last episode, but this episode we got Dave back.
He's going to do, besides, if you couldn't tell, that was Dave D'Andrea doing Morgan Freeman there, but he's going to be doing our hate mail at the end of the episode, too.
Yeah.
So we just wanted to say thank you to you guys because your feedback's been important to us.
And yeah, we're really excited.
We've been really excited to see all the responses.
Yeah, we had no idea how you guys were going to take this because we knew it was a completely different format and from you know from what we do on the Babylon Bee.
Yeah, it could have crashed and burned.
Totally.
That's what I was expecting.
God has been gracious to us and we thank you so much for your listenership.
Once again, this is a very professional outfit.
We don't even know what to call you guys.
This is our very first episode where we have someone to interview.
A real-life interview with a real person.
A live person, which is usually the kinds of people that you did interview a couple of dead people.
It didn't make for good listening.
Yeah, it got cut.
We have a Chuck Spurgeon interview.
It's just awkward, you know?
Yeah, he's so introverted.
Quiet guy.
Okay, yeah.
So we got our first interview coming later with Ali Beth Stuckey.
Yes.
Superstar.
Superstar.
Ali Beth Stuckey, the conservative millennial.
I don't know if she still calls herself that, but that was her harp along.
And then so before that, we're going to do a few news stories.
Every week, there are stories.
These are some of them.
Our first story of the week.
Ocasio-Cortez gets her head stuck in a bucket.
Journalists rush to explain why it was actually a genius move.
Who wrote this one?
No points for guessing.
Who wrote this one?
It was a Frank Fleming article.
Good old Frank Fleming.
We're going to get him on, aren't we?
We actually need the Frank noise that we can play.
Good old Frank.
Yeah, we need like a song.
Good old Frank.
He's a good old Frank.
Like a 1950s diddy.
I love it.
So this was in reference to Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, who was comparing the detention centers on the southern border to concentration camps and was kind of called out for it.
And then rather than backing down, just kept going, doubling down.
She made like specific references to like World War II.
Like she used certain language, made it pretty clear what she was referring to.
You can almost, you can almost understand if she was just using the term concentration camp.
Yeah, like the casual term everybody uses.
Basically, it's kind of like a concentration camp, and you can let it go after that.
But yeah, she kept going on with the Hitler comparisons and the concentration camp references from Nazi Germany.
And it was a bit much, I felt like.
Yeah, and then so then that's always the weird thing with her is that journalists do.
They rush to defend.
And so that's what we saw.
And it's just, that's the funny thing to me.
Like that's watching, you know, stumbling over their words.
What she's saying is brilliant.
Everybody says concentration camp all the time.
I use it all the time in everyday language.
I'm like, oh man, I'm waiting in line here at Orange Julius for a smoothie.
It's a concentration.
It's like concentration camp in here.
It's like we're in Nazi Germany.
Literally.
Yeah, and they always throw literally in there.
I got to have literally.
So you can't possibly mistake it for just being a comparison.
No, it's literally Nazi Germany.
Yeah, and what's fun about this is, okay, maybe there's some legitimate criticisms that can be made about the way that we are handling immigrants coming from the South, right?
And, but at the same time, it's okay, let's cool down the comparisons to Hitler.
I saw a tweet from a guy who actually works at one of these facilities.
I'm not saying there's like, I'm sure that there's, you know, bad stuff that happens there and good stuff that happens there and whatever.
It's like, it's chaos.
It sounds like a horrible place to work.
A place run by the government isn't going to be a good one.
Yeah, run by the government where thousands of people are trying to get in all day long.
I'm surprised.
That sounds horrible.
That sounds like worse than the DMV.
Maybe even worse than a concentration camp.
Well, the DMV is like a concentration camp.
Exactly.
I would say the DMV is like a concentration camp.
So maybe she has a point.
No, I saw like a picture this guy posted of the meals that they serve at these.
Like they look pretty good.
They had like skewered shrimp, grilled like meats and stuff.
It's impressive.
Oh, nice.
Yeah.
I like that.
And apparently it was confirmed.
Like this is real.
Like they serve them pretty good food.
So maybe they should open a restaurant to the public.
And you could go eat it like on the border.
Chick-fil-A should head down there.
Yeah.
Isn't on the border actually a restaurant?
That's a real restaurant.
My wife liked that.
They closed down in Rancho.
Ooh.
Yeah.
That's not good.
I don't know if that's a local chain or something national, but on the border.
On the border.
Yeah.
Maybe they changed their name.
They're like, oh, they don't want to be seen as on the border.
That's a good article idea.
Let me write that down here.
And I do, I just, I just love the stupid slapstick joke of her having her head stuck in a bucket because I'm like that.
I like old style, like Looney Tune jokes.
Yeah, and we can take a moment, maybe, I guess, to talk about Ocasio-Cortez's humor because obviously it's something that we've latched onto.
Yeah.
It's such an easy target.
It isn't.
Yeah, it's an easy target.
But I think it's similar to Trump humor in that it's easy to get wrong also.
Yeah.
And yeah, I think part of it is that like I said like one thing we noticed, we noticed doing a podcast that we say like way more than we oh, and I hear it every time I say it now.
Hurts.
I've got a bowl of jelly beans here and I'm throwing one at Ethan every time he'll be.
Yeah, we can't make fun of Ocasio-Cortez on a podcast while we're saying like.
Yeah, constantly saying like.
So like Ocasio-Cortez is like so dumb.
That's part of it is that she's supposedly untouchable.
Like anything that anybody says is untouchable, you can't joke about it.
Yeah.
And you're just making it funnier.
Like you just need to stop that.
If you don't want people to joke about something, don't constantly be like, you can't make fun of that.
You can't joke about that.
Yeah, the criticism is if you're making fun of her, it's because you're afraid of her.
Yeah, you're afraid.
I kind of couldn't care less about her.
Yeah.
But the humor is so there's some richness.
And it is, part of it is like Trump jokes are so tired.
It's like, okay, well, she's great.
She really was a godsend, you know, in that she is kind of the Trump of the left.
Yeah.
And seeing the way that they defend her the same way that like kind of the weird evangelicals defend Trump and spiritualize everything he's done.
Yeah.
Yeah, it's a very similar thing.
They can do no wrong.
But like I said, like, and so the jelly bean.
Yeah.
Ow.
The, you know, like the evangelicals have to spiritualize.
It has to be like, oh, the Lord has brought forth just as he did in the Bible.
There was Cyrus or whoever he said.
Whatever.
They use the biblical complete.
They use biblical stuff.
Like the journalists have to be super intellectuals have to intellectualize everything.
Like, oh, actually, she's got some secret intellectual ideas where you guys don't even get the crazy voodoo that she's dropping on you with all this smartness.
Well, the secular right or the secular left does that too.
Or I'm sorry, the secular right does that too with Trump, you know, because that was the whole meme that was going around with Trump being the 4D chess.
You know, everything he's doing is a secret, you know, and I'm kind of like.
It's like Neo from the Matrix or something.
Like, maybe the more, maybe a better explanation is just that he's doing things completely out of random, you know, completely randomly.
That's kind of what it seems like sometimes.
A little bit.
So, yeah, so what Kazikort does humor is hard to do sometimes because you can't make the joke just, oh, she's dumb.
Because if this headline was just, Acosta Ducortez gets her head stuck in a bucket, you know, it'd be no better than the dumb memes that people do about her.
But when it's, she does something really dumb and then the journalists jump in.
So I like this one because it really is making fun of the response rather than just somebody does something.
So it has that extra layer.
All right.
Next story.
Liberals confused by a new medical procedure that heals babies instead of killing them.
And this is in reference to a medical procedure that heals a birth defect while the baby is still in the uterus.
And it's actually not a new medical procedure.
It's been going on since the 90s, but it's kind of been honed and perfected.
And I guess the Cleveland Clinic just performed their first one of these procedures.
Yeah, it was like this 3D video of it showed it happening.
It looked like a ghost was doing it.
You could see it.
I thought it was crazy how at the end it kind of showed like how, like when a woman gets a C-section or like they have like a big smile on their tummy.
Yeah.
My wife has one of those.
Thanks for that.
Tell me smile.
I appreciate the visual of the C-section tummy smile.
Yeah, it looks so happy now.
Yes.
Yeah, but the joke here is fairly obvious.
It's also very dark.
Yeah.
You know, so if we can maybe take a moment to talk about abortion and how we deal with abortion and humor, because that's something that's a big one.
Anytime we do an article about abortion, there's emails.
Yeah.
Hey, can't joke ever about this.
Why are you making fun of abortion or why are you making a joke?
Or making light of it?
And I think there's a big difference between doing satire that makes a point about abortion and then just making a joke that involves abortion or makes light of abortion.
Yeah, so obviously this is trying to make the comparison that we are so, especially on the left, people are so open to like, let's have access to abortion at any time, anywhere, any place.
You can go get an abortion at McDonald's, you know, whatever you want to do.
And then, and then there's this medical procedure that comes out.
And so you kind of picture in your head, well, if they're so for killing babies, you know, what, what would a, what would a consistent liberal response be to like, we can heal a baby, you know?
Yeah.
And it's just bafflement.
Or heal a fetus.
Yeah.
Why would you do that?
Wait, wait, wait.
Yeah.
You mean it was messed up?
Why are we, why are we wasting all these resources?
Yeah, a lot of satire is trying to bring things to their logical conclusion.
And obviously, no, no liberal would actually say this.
Yeah.
Right.
Well, and I think it's the thing with abortion, the jokes surrounding it for me are a lot of times we're just, or any of our jokes, we're trying to point out the absurdity.
And there's a lot of absurdity in trying to like the further a person tries to like tiptoe away from the idea that a fetus is a human being, the more absurd things become because they have to jump through all these hoops to be like, oh yeah, it's just a clump of cells, but we're giving it spine surgery.
Yeah, and you don't throw a fetus shower.
Yeah, you don't throw a fetus shower.
So like depending on your opinion of the thing in the in the womb, like you completely change your language.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And that's really what we try to do is drive that inconsistency home.
And it's, you know, and I think liberals, they are, thankfully, uh, inconsistent at this point, right?
Because they wouldn't come out against surgery like this.
Yeah.
But, but yeah, it's like if you were being consistent, what would you, what would you have to say about this?
Yeah, it's bizarre.
And I have seen, I mean, I think the weird thing is like when I've, I've like given up any debating about this topic on the internet, which is, you know, it's just a sign of maturity.
But there are some people, like there's either the person that will like debate and debate and try to jump through all the hoops to say it's not a human.
And then there's the people who will just admit it.
Like, okay, yeah, fine, it's a human, but it's a woman's right to kill it.
Yeah, it's really interesting when you see, there's kind of people on the fringe that have come to that position.
There was that video a couple of weeks ago where the lady came out and said, yes, it's murder, and women have the right to murder in certain circumstances.
And that's basically, and to me, that's, that is more intellectual.
You almost respect the consistency.
I respect your consistency, you psycho.
You psycho woman.
All right.
So is that all we have on that one?
There's so much we could say on abortion.
I was going to say, I was just going to say on what you were talking about with, you know, you've given up on debating this issue.
Yeah.
I feel that way with a lot of things.
Yeah.
Where I use satire as a tool.
We at the Babylon B use satire as a tool to drive home points.
And hopefully it does make its point, you know, but I think personally, you go on Facebook, you see somebody arguing for abortion or, you know, and it's, it feels so like futile to be.
It feels like, yeah, like tennis, table tennis of cliches.
Like you're just bonking back and forth the different cliches that everybody shoots back and forth.
And that is one reason I've loved writing for the Babylon Bee because it's a different avenue to throw these arguments out in a different way.
Yeah, you make the point and then you don't, you're not, it's not really up for debate.
It's not a debate.
You've made a joke.
Yep.
You just made a joke or you made a point.
Yeah.
And you made your point.
People can have their own debates.
Yeah, I like that a lot.
That really fits my personal style because I don't really like people when they figured out that I work for the Babylon B, people have found me like on Twitter or email or, you know, they'll just blast you.
You know, and my, and I'm just like, ignore, you know.
Yeah, that's one thing about both of our personalities.
I think that I think people maybe would think from the Babylon Bee that we're these combative debate guys.
Yeah.
And that's really not what we are.
We're guys, I mean, I can say just from I've only known you for a year now or maybe over a year now, year or two.
I've loved you for a thousand years.
I'm going to cut some romantic music in here.
2000.
So it's the song from Twilight.
Oh, I didn't know that.
I don't watch Twilight.
Sorry.
For the homeschoolers.
Twilight.
It's about sparkly vampires who love Triangle.
You know a lot about Twilight for not knowing anything about it, Ethan.
That's true.
I watched Rift Track because we're going way down a rabbit hole here.
I forgot what I was insane.
I don't know where I was.
My whole goal here is to just distract.
Oh, yeah.
No, I was saying that people would think that from reading our material that we're these combative political people that sit here talking about politics, politics all day, and going on politics.
That might be a good name for a public talk.
Politalks.
There you go.
Is that not taken?
That's probably taken.
Trademarket.
Continue.
Yeah.
Politalk is already a thing.
Oh, okay.
So that.
So to me, like when I, when I met you, and it kind of made sense once I realized, but you're a pretty chill guy and you're quiet.
So my kind of like people that know me.
Yeah, we're both kind of awkward, quiet guys, but we're both guys that like we do think about this stuff a lot and we actually both really, really care about a lot of it.
Yeah, that's it's really like a deep part of us, but we did, we we hate the debating, we hate the commenting back and forth.
And I think there's a lot of to me, I think one reason I find really fascinating about the rise of Jordan Peterson is it shows that there's this huge amount of very quiet people that think about very deep things, but they don't really talk about it.
Yeah.
So I went to a live event of his and I'm like, these are all, I'm in a room full of guys like me.
They're quiet.
They don't, they don't get in big debates.
They don't, you know, they're not shouting and they're probably not certain about a lot of all their views.
You know, like a lot of people, there's this pressure to be certain.
And it's just fascinating.
I think that there is this contingent that the internet has brought together people that really do care about things like the metaphysical and morality and right and wrong and just all these questions.
And Ethan's currently taking a big hit of a blunt.
What?
I'm just kidding.
Is this a Joe Rogan reference?
Like you ever tried DMT, bro?
Yeah, you're just getting really deep on me.
Oh, no.
I'm just joking.
Sorry.
No, you're right.
We actually went and saw Jordan Peterson at an event with a couple of Babylon B guys, and I didn't know anything about him, really.
And I think Ethan was more of a fan.
And I was surprised with how thoughtful and yeah, he goes really deep, and it's amazing that he's as popular as he is.
Yeah, it's not this, I'm going to own the libs.
Yeah.
You know, it's like he's thinking about things out loud.
It's how he gets framed.
He's looking at his feet the whole time.
And I'm like, this guy is not really a good public speaker.
Yeah.
You know?
Yeah.
He speaks all over the country and he just, he, it really is like people are just planning it out.
He doesn't have a planned out speech he does every night.
He has, you know, he comes up with it on the spot, really.
So all that to say, liberals want to kill babies.
Yeah.
Yeah.
How do we get?
We did really go off the rails in that, but that was good.
So next story.
How about Kyle?
You can introduce this one.
Local mother seeks emergency surgery to remove VBS songs lodged in her brain.
And for the homeschoolers, well, they already know what VBS is.
No, they know it's for the public schoolers.
For the public school, for the dumb kids.
Yeah, for all the dumb kids that listen to rap music all their life.
Believe in evolution.
Yeah.
And know what a girl is.
Watch Adam Sandler movies and eat popcorn.
And VBS is a vacation Bible school.
And it is a staple of church services all across the country.
Basically, what it is, is kids, churches get kids to come to their VBS for an entire week.
They actually sleep there.
Probably different per church.
It sounds so much more like it's vacation.
It's a school.
It sounds like you're like, there's going to be dorms.
Yeah, it definitely sounds like more of a thing than it is.
Like chairs that you sit back in and have a mojito learn about vacation Bible school.
No, it's kind of like three hours of Sunday school that you would do on Sunday morning for a whole week.
Every day for a week.
So, you know, the moms will come drop the kids off at 9 a.m.
Come pick them up at 12 p.m.
So lots of pop school sticks, lots of puppets.
Yes.
Lots of veggie tales.
Songs, videos.
And so it's become a whole industry.
So you can't just throw the lame VBS anymore.
Like, oh, come learn about the Bible and have snacks and stuff.
Yeah, our church is doing like a Mars-themed one with aliens.
It's kind of like you have to go purchase the $500 starter set, you know, on lifeway.com or whatever.
I was wondering about that because they have all these flashy graphics.
They have this whole setup.
It's like plastic tarps that have all these graphics on them.
So every year there's three or four main VBS companies and they come out with their themes for the year at the beginning of the year.
And then your church decides we're going to do this Minecraft knockoff, you know, or we're going to do a Fortnite knockoff.
And they're always based on some theme.
It's always the knockoff of whatever was popular five years ago.
Okay.
Okay.
Just like everything else in Christian.
Five is pretty good.
I always think it's more like 10 or 15.
Yeah.
VBS is, I want to say it's probably like five years.
It's probably because kids grow up quicker.
So they have like a five-year stagger.
Adults is more of a 10-year stagger.
Like our music in Christian music is usually about 10 years staggered off.
Creed was our pearl jam, right?
Yeah.
And they were late 90s.
Yeah, I guess that's true.
So that was about 10 years.
There's this guy named Michael Malice who I did an interview with, and he says that conservatism is progressivism going the speed limit.
And I think it's pretty smart.
Like a lot of conservative ideas, like they just are, you know, and even the church, like it's like, okay, now we're okay with Harry Potter, but we weren't 10 years ago.
Yeah, there's a couple of good quotes I've heard about that.
Chesterton had something about how the problem with liberals and conservatives is that they judge truth based on what it is in time and not on what it is in eternity.
In eternity, that's good.
Like conservatives are like something that it was 20 years ago is good because it was 20 years ago.
And liberals say, no, how things are in 20 years is going to be better because it's in the future.
Rather than saying what's eternally good, you know.
Wow, this guy deep.
Now I'm getting, we keep going deep.
This is the Babylon B. I'm taking a hit of the blunt now.
And you're quoting Chesterton.
Me, I'm the Chesterton guy here.
Ethan just passed over the blunt.
So you've never, so you've never heard of this Chesterton quote.
Did I just educate you?
I'd have to remember exactly the quote, but yeah.
I tweeted it once.
I'm going to tweet it again so that I can get some likes.
But on to them all.
The actual article is about a woman having a vacation Bible school song stuck in her head so bad that she goes to the doctor and asks for a lobotomy.
So VBS songs are the you've written songs and stuff for kids.
Yeah, well, I have a good friend named Perry Grip who's written It's Raining Tacos.
It's Raining Tacos.
Yes.
Hey, we were on key there.
That's great.
And what?
Chimpanzee Riding on a Segway.
You heard that one?
Chimpanzee Riding on a Segway.
Do not show that to my children.
But he has, you can go on Spotify and search Perry Grip.
And the thing is, I love his music, but he does write what they call earworms.
Like they get stuck hard in your head.
Yeah, so pretty much every VBS has these packages come with a CD of 10 songs or so.
And at least three or four of them are just absolute earworms.
You know, I can remember ones from 20 years ago.
Right now, I could sing them.
Let's do it.
Do it.
Let's hear it.
I don't know.
There was one that said, God's love in me grows like a tree.
I want everyone to see God's love in me.
I want to know who someone get paid for that.
I should Google that and see if it's a real thing.
Yeah.
But I think there was a song that I got stuck in my head really bad from my kids.
I can't remember.
Keep going.
They'll come back.
So it's kind of like how a lot of things are just a re-theme or some new thing pasted on.
That's how these VBSs are.
You know, it doesn't matter if it's a submarine theme or a rocket ship theme.
You know, it's always the same message.
Like they're trying to give the gospel message in this really simple package for kids.
Yeah.
And then they come up with these skits, you know, where the people come out on stage and, you know, there's the characters that go through the week.
So the thing with these VBSs is that they require a lot of volunteer work.
So the moms, the dads, and not often the dads.
Good people, very good people.
Not often the dads because it is during the week.
So unless the schedule is weird or unless the dad is the one who stays at home, it's mostly moms.
But they end up listening to these songs because they have, you know, if you're running the, if you're helping with the media, you sit there as like five different age groups come through the sanctuary.
So you hear this song over and over again.
And then they started doing this evil thing where they sent the CD home with the parents.
Oh.
Because the kids are supposed to learn the songs.
They come back Sunday morning and they do a big performance.
You know, so these are just, it's just an absolute travesty in terms of getting these songs stuck in your head.
Yeah.
You know, so yeah, our joke here was that the mom goes and gets a lobotomy.
Yeah.
X for surgery to actually get it taken out.
I thought about asking you for a Photoshop of a woman getting a lobotomy.
An actual exposed brain.
Yeah.
Or like, you know, they have that weird tool.
I think it was in the movie Sucker Punch, you know, that what?
Oh, you got to watch Sucker Punch.
It's the greatest movie I ever made.
I thought it was apparently it got horrible reviews.
Yeah, critics don't know what they're talking about.
You're going to lose our podcast audience because you are defending Sucker Punch, are you?
Oh, gosh.
Yeah, it's all over.
Oh, it's a secular movie, by the way.
Oh, yeah.
We're going to get in trouble here.
So, yeah, so yeah, there's that, there's that pokey metal thing, and they like, you know, they stick it in your brain.
And then, yeah.
But then I decided that was probably too dark.
Like a little, like a little brain soldering iron thing.
You know what this light joke about VBS needs?
Open brain.
Exposed brain.
It'll really bring it to the next level.
It'd be like a total recall reference.
All right.
You guys, are you ready, Kyle, for the Allie Beth Stuckey interview?
I'm so ready.
I can tell there's a gooder bad release of air.
Yeah, so this week we get to interview Allie Beth Stuckey.
Allie Beth Stuckey is a podcast host.
Phenomenon.
I don't know.
Is that the right word to use?
Yeah.
So this is our first ever interview.
Yeah, ever in the history of the world.
First ever.
In the whole eternity.
What you are about to experience is a once in an eternity event.
And so we're excited about this.
Actually, so Allie interviewed me.
What?
And now how the turns have tapered.
We get to interview her.
So I'm very excited about it.
When our book came out, nobody knew who was behind the Babylon B, right?
It was this, like you said, the Charlie and the chocolate of satire.
You were the one big Oompa Loompa.
And so when our book came out, Adam didn't want to do any interviews.
And so I was saddled with all the interviews.
So for a month, I had, I don't know, 50 podcasts, multiple a day that I was going on.
And Allie was one of the early ones.
And it was a great conversation.
So I'm excited to see what she has to say.
We're going to talk about faith and how you live out your faith and politics because she's pretty heavily involved in politics.
She's pretty up to date on Twitter, always tweeting about the latest.
She's a big Twitterer.
And she's gotten, she's gotten a lot of followers, I've noticed, like in the past year or so.
So she's really hitting on a nerve somewhere in conservative and Christian circles.
Yeah, you're hammering.
You're hammering.
Somebody's hammering.
We're getting hammered.
Yeah, we have drug references.
No, what are you doing?
What is this podcast rated?
She may be, you may know Allie Stuckey from her famous video where she is doing a mock interview with Ocasio Cortez, where it's like clearly edited so that she's asking her fake questions.
It was not Colbert style.
It was not clear to me.
It was not clear to the media.
This is a, what do they always say?
It's a doctored video.
It's doctored.
Yeah.
This is a doctored video.
But it's like if Colbert does it, it'd be hilarious to see that if they posted a Colbert video, like, look at Stephen Colbert doctored a video.
It's a doctored video.
Yeah, if it's like Trump's face clearly pasted on some wrestler.
Doctored.
Doctored video.
The person who did this had a PhD.
They went to school for eight years so they could do this.
They go dox him.
Yeah.
Anyway.
All right.
Here she is.
Presenting an exclusive Babylon B interview.
All right.
Well, as promised, we are sitting down distantly and digitally with Allie Beth Stuckey now.
And she's the founder of the conservative millennial blog and she hosts the Relatable podcast.
That's for Blaze now, right, Allie?
Yes, it is.
Blaze TV.
She's spoken at colleges and her work's appeared on lots of different things.
I saw you just had a thing on Fox News recently.
I am on Fox News.
I'm a guest on Fox News pretty regularly.
But most importantly, we all know Allie as the one who skyrocketed to fame when she had an exclusive interview with Alexandria Ocasio Cortez.
That's crazy.
She's super famous.
Yeah.
What was she like in person?
She was exactly what you would think that she is like.
She is extremely knowledgeable, extremely profound.
She knows a lot about economics and history, geopolitics.
I personally was just kind of blown away by how much she knows.
And that's probably why the conversation ended up being a little bit awkward, just because she wowed me continually with just how much profound wisdom she's able to bring to the table.
Yeah, it's hard when you have that knowledge differential.
Yeah, right.
And that's kind of how I felt.
It was just like imbalanced.
I just couldn't even follow along because the words she was using were so complex.
So that's how it was.
It was intimidating, but I'm glad.
I'm glad for the exposure that it gained me.
Did you guys talk about like the border at all?
Because I know that she gets really emotional about that kind of stuff.
Yeah, I was actually the one taking the pictures at the border.
Yeah, they were totally real.
And it was totally, it was uncoordinated too.
Everyone just kind of showed up in all white.
And she just, she had no idea that any photographers or any media would be there at all.
It was extremely raw, extremely organic is probably a good word.
And it just kind of shows you what she really thinks.
And I think, you know, it goes in line with her not wanting to fund the bill that would actually give humanitarian aid to people at the border.
It makes a lot of sense because if you're truly compassionate, then you don't want people to have those resources.
You just kind of want to go down there, pose for some pictures, cry, things like that.
That's what it really means to be empathetic.
And I think we saw her true heart there.
Yeah, I'm glad this is coming out on our podcast.
People need to hear this stuff.
This is too.
People are so cynical these days.
Did you, did you cry?
I was bawling.
That's actually why if you look at the pictures, they're a little bit crooked because I was behind the camera, but I could not control my thoughts.
You were literally shaking.
I thought you were like an independent avant-garde photographer.
Well, you know, some people are very artistic.
Yes.
Well, okay, that's also true.
But at the same time, you know, I wasn't even crying at what was happening at the border.
I was crying watching Alexandria Casio-Cortez.
I've never seen someone with that much heart.
And that's really what stirred me.
So.
Wow.
I mean, that's how real change happens in the world.
You're crying watching Alexandria and probably someone else was standing by watching you.
And they probably, there's probably a whole cry chain across the world stretching out.
And it's still happening.
It's still happening digitally, which is the beauty of the modern age is that we just get people outraged and crying, outrage and crying over and over again and don't do anything about it.
And that's kind of, I think, you know, how we affect real lasting change and influence is just get people really mad and emotional crying.
But then you just kind of go about your day and don't do anything.
I mean, it's beautiful.
It's like the butterfly effect.
Ever seen that movie?
I haven't actually.
No.
I haven't either.
You should see that movie.
Okay.
I'll see it.
I'll probably.
What about Pay It Forward?
Have you ever seen Pay It Forward?
I have seen Pay It Forward.
Have you ever seen that one with Will Smith and he's homeless and he has his son and he's like in the stock market?
A man in black.
No.
I robot.
No.
And he has like, he keeps doing the Ru Weeks Cube, right?
And Emery's like, oh, and then he gets rich.
Oh, oh, I haven't.
It was really good.
This is really good.
Who's your favorite Veggie Tales character?
Oh, Veggie Tales.
I feel like the, isn't there a dad asparagus?
Yeah, his name's Mike.
Oh, Mike.
Mike.
Your favorite character is a character whose name you don't know?
Come on.
Yeah, come on.
Yes.
Yes.
I would say, because I just feel like, okay, Bob and Larry, those are pretty much the only two names that I really know of anyone on Veggie Tales.
But I feel like it's just so cliche.
Like Larry is just a little bit vapid to me.
He's a little dumb.
He's just not that compelling.
Bob is a little too serious.
But you know what's interesting about Bob?
I frequently see people in real life that I think look like Bob the Tomato.
This has happened multiple times for me that I see someone and I'm like, that person reminds me of Bob the Tomato from Veggie Tales.
I don't know what it is, if he's just very personable or very lifelike.
I don't like him as a character, but he just seems very real.
Are you mocking the obese community?
Not at all.
And I find it, quite frankly, weird that you would even think that we are a community.
I find it problematic that you go through all the Veggie Tales characters and you picked a hetero white asparagus.
Is he white?
He's white.
So I don't know if you know that.
Because I haven't asked Eric about that.
He probably would be able to tell us whether or not Facebook is.
Hey, don't.
Don't name drop.
Don't name drop Eric Metaxas with us.
His old hat.
I shook his hand once.
Well, I don't know if you're aware of this, but I wrote on Veggie Tales, but it was on the illegitimate version that was on Netflix.
Oh, there was that.
So I can confirm we laid out all the characters on a sheet, and there was an executive who sat there and said, all I see is a bunch of white characters.
Well, Larry wore a sombrero once and did a Mexican hat dance, but that was cultural appropriation.
Yeah.
If he was a jalapeno or something, then it would be less racist.
Oh, okay.
Yeah, that's true.
I can't keep up with the standards for vegetable cartoons.
They have like a whole written list of rules for what is cultural appropriation and what is not.
Vegetables versus fruit versus legumes.
I just can't, I can't keep up.
I've heard Phil Visher gets very angry because people always point out that Bob is a fruit technically, and I think Larry is too.
Yeah, that's controversial, problematic.
What do you think about feminism?
Do you like it?
I love it.
I love feminism.
I just feel like it's given me a lot in my life.
And I'm not sure that I would even be alive physically if it weren't for Gloria Steinem, who has now been around for, I think she turned 107 this year.
So personally, I think I've benefited a lot from it.
I heard that you have been oppressed by a clump of cells.
Yes.
Well, the weird thing is, is that, so this whole time I've been like clump of cells, clump of cells, clump of cells.
And it was weird.
Like halfway through, the clump of cells started like moving.
And I did this thing called like what they call like an ultrasound.
And then I was just, I was shocked to find that the clump of cells has actually morphed into somewhat, I don't know if you would call it a human, quasi-human, close to a human, maybe a human.
I'm not sure what it's going to, it's going to turn out as after it goes through the birth canal, but it is looking like it might actually be a human from the pictures that I've been able to see.
I mean, it's crazy.
It might be the first time that it's happened like this, that like we know that it's, you know, going to be another human being, but I'm pretty stoked about that.
I wasn't sure if it was going to be, you know, Turvis Tumblr, Summer Splash, something like that.
But it does seem like it might be a human in a few days.
It's more like, I mean, in my understanding, it's kind of like this squid.
Like, have you ever seen those squids that like float around in the ocean and then they see something and they like take on its shape to convince other animals that they're a different thing?
I think it's like that.
I think it's a survival mechanism.
I haven't seen this.
I have not seen this kind of squid.
So the moment that ultrasound goes on, it's like human shape.
Oh, okay.
Okay.
That makes sense.
We like to have science.
We like to have science on our show and politics.
Yeah, that makes that makes a lot of sense.
You guys seem like you probably know what you're talking about.
But yes, the thing, the clump of cells, the, I think also known as Parasite, just kind of like affectionately, should be making its, I'll just say it's, its arrival any day now.
So we're, we're going to see.
That's exciting.
Have you ever had the Trucker Slam breakfast at Jim Boyd's diner in Humboldt, Kentucky?
I've never been to Kentucky, period.
It's really good.
You've appeared on many different outlets.
Yes.
You were on Dave Rubin recently.
Yes, I was.
Are you aware that he's alt-right?
Well, I went on the show under the impression that he was a fascist.
So it's kind of comforting to hear that you say that he's just alt-right.
I did know that.
I mean fascist by female.
Oh, I guess, you know, it's a little synonymous.
Yes.
Homophobe for sure.
For sure.
Like that can complete homophobe.
Immediately.
Just like, you know, a really bigoted guy, constantly like just interrupting, inserting just like white supremacy talking points.
And that, you know, kind of threw me off a little bit, but I felt like I was able to stand strong amidst his extremism.
And so, you know, I'm willing to talk to anyone, even people on the far, right.
Like Dave Brayman.
That is disappointing.
If I saw him in the street, I would punch him.
Yeah.
Well, you're not the place.
And now you are Nazi adjacent.
So now you're punchable.
Well, what are you not adjacent?
What are you guys?
You guys are talking to me.
No, no, we're perpendicular.
Digitally punching you.
Oh, you are.
This is a hard hit.
This is a hard-hitting interview.
This is a hard-hitting interview where we're putting you on the spot and we're confronting you with all the Nazi perpendicularities and logic.
We're going to snip this up into like one soundbite and then we're going to put a headline on it that says, watch as the Babylon Bee literally flattens a Nazi.
Alibh Stuckey instantly regrets a Babylon B interview.
How does it feel to know that this is the last interview of your career?
It feels, I mean, it feels good.
Go out on a bang.
Is it true that Dave Rubin has chickens?
Yeah, that is true.
That really is true.
All joking aside, he has chickens in his California backyard.
Meat is murder.
Well, he doesn't eat them.
He steals their eggs, probably.
I'm guessing.
Probably.
And that is, I mean, think about it.
He's a man.
I can't think of anything more patriarchal than stealing the eggs from a female chicken and using them for yourself.
I mean, there's really nothing more misogynistic than that.
And if you know Dave Rubin, he is, like I said, a ginormous misogynist and homophobe and all those things.
So it does kind of fall in line.
I'm glad we agree on that anyway.
I'm glad we finally agree on something because this was getting out of hand.
Are you a conservative?
Yes.
Well, I don't know if I should answer sarcastically, but yes.
No.
Why would you think you should answer sarcastically when there's been no sarcasm so far?
I just get like random urges to like, oh, should I be sarcastic?
But I know that you guys don't.
Sorry.
How can, but you say you're conservative, but then you also, you claim to be a Christian?
Yes, I do.
I claim that.
Yeah.
Wow.
Interesting.
We're just going to let that speak for itself.
Should we tell her that Jesus was a socialist?
That should be obvious if she's read the Bible.
Some people haven't read the Bible.
Yeah, like conservative Christians.
Yeah.
I actually haven't, have not had the pleasure of reading the Bible, but it's, you know, it's something that I like to talk about regardless.
So Jesus may very well be a socialist.
I'm not totally sure, but I just kind of take the verses that I like hear about online.
Mostly, I mostly just like take the verses that I see in people's Instagram bios and decide, okay, does that like align with the things that I think?
And that's how I kind of come up with my theology.
So for all I know, Jesus could be a socialist.
I'm not totally concerned with that.
I'm pretty good with just like Jeremiah 29, 11, I think it is, is my life verse.
And I just kind of hold on to that.
And that's what I, you know, build my, build my faith on.
Do you like DC Talk?
Love DC Talk.
I was actually in one of their music videos in 1988.
I almost thought you were going to say you were in DC Talk.
I was very excited for a second.
No, I wasn't in DC Talk.
I was just, I was a star in one of their music videos back in the day.
That would have been the New Thing era or the, what was the one before New Thing?
I didn't know millennials knew about DC Talk.
Yeah, you want to know a real story?
This is a real story.
This is not a sarcastic story.
This is a real story.
My dad did not know who DC Talk was.
I have two brothers that are way older than me.
And my oldest brother was listening to DC Talk and he had like a tape of DC Talk and he was playing it in his room.
My dad didn't know what DC Talk was.
He just heard like what he thought was rap.
And I'll never forget, I was probably like six or seven.
I'll never forget my dad going to my brother's room and be like, what are you listening to?
I mean, this is, if you are familiar at all with conservative Southern Baptist households, this is like par for the course.
And he took the tape away and he was like, you are not listening to this.
And my mother was like, This is Christian rap, but my dad didn't know.
He should listen to some living sacrifice.
Did you convert Ben Shapiro to Calvinism?
I tried my darndest.
I tried really hard.
I'm not sure.
You know, the other day he retweeted something where I said that Jesus is God.
And I was like, Is this it?
Did this happen?
This is it.
Yeah, I didn't know.
Maybe I was more affected than I thought.
And he's just now being like, you know what?
I think Alex Duckey and John MacArthur were probably right when they came on my show.
And Jesus is God.
I was like, wow, out of all of my tweets, I can't believe he retweeted that one.
So I'm not, I can't say it publicly, but you just, you never know.
I feel like that is the Christians, like, that's our whole strategy.
If we can convert Ben Shapiro and Jordan Peterson, people that the kids think are cool.
Yeah, well, that's always been, that's always been a Christian thing.
Like from the 80s, it's like, if we can convert Madonna, pray that Madonna would get saved in corn and biscuit.
But then we just made knockoffs of them instead.
Yeah.
Really?
And it works really well.
And it worked really well at convincing the world that we're cool.
And that's kind of what we're called to when you think about like the Great Commission, which is something I've heard of.
Of course, like I said, I haven't actually read myself.
But it is just kind of how can you make the world feel like you are relative and or relevant?
How can you conform to the patterns of this world as much as humanly possible?
And then hopefully Jesus said, like they will eventually kind of come to know that you are different if you're just really nice to them.
And I feel like Christians are doing that pretty, pretty well right now.
And so I would say that's probably an effective strategy.
And maybe that's even what converted Ben.
Yeah, I think if you imitate, but just dial it back about at least 10 to like 80% on quality.
Yeah, and take out the cuss words.
You could insert like Christian cuss words if you wanted to, like frick or something.
Yeah, fooy.
So what Christian cuss words do you say?
Oh.
Like when you're freestyle rapping and stuff.
Yeah.
I say shoot darn.
Close one.
My finger is hovering over the mute button.
Yeah.
Trembling.
Trembling finger.
Shoot, darn.
You know, I actually do get in trouble for saying, and this is true, I get in trouble for saying OMG because I do say OMG without really even thinking about anything.
And I do say, oh my gosh, but there are plenty of people who follow me on Instagram who will immediately send me a DM if I say OMG.
And they're like, you know, girl, I know your heart.
You need to think about what other people think of when they see that G.
I didn't know that that was something that Christians contend with, but there actually are a lot of Christians that have a problem with OMG.
So maybe that's a Christian cuss word.
I'm not sure.
So you actually, you're saying you say the letters?
You say OMG.
I typically don't say them out loud, but I like if I'm typing it.
There's an entire commandment about that.
You know, do not lose, use the Lord's name in vain.
That entire commandment means don't say OMG.
If you don't say OMG, you're completely following it.
Oh, okay.
That's a complete.
You're failing at one tenth of the commandments right there.
Right there.
Okay.
I'll work on that.
Thank you.
Maybe that was the whole purpose of this call.
That's big.
We got her.
Yeah, we got her.
We got her.
What translation of the Bible is your favorite?
The Elect Standard Version.
What's your favorite DC talk lyric?
Oh, gosh.
I don't know.
The first thing that came to mind is something by Toby Mac, but I couldn't even think of any line.
This is really hard to do on the spot.
I don't know.
He's the best artist.
The Bible says something, probably something about like, oh, waking up late in the morning, like spilling my coffee, everything going like terribly wrong, but then remembering that God is in control.
I would say something along those lines.
My favorite DC talk lyric is oh, that's a good one.
I like that.
That's Kevin Max.
So we're coming near the end of this amazing interview.
So I want you to rank of all the interviews you've been on, where does ours rank?
I would have to put it probably behind the conversation with fascist Dave Rubin just because I've never spoken to a fascist before.
And so it's kind of just like a new experience.
I will say that converting Ben to Calvinism was like a big moment in my career.
But honestly, I'll put that at number three behind this Babylon B interview, just because we've covered so much ground.
And I imagine like we've changed a lot of people's, I don't know, I'll even say hearts and minds on things.
So I think that this is probably the most impactful conversation that I've had.
So I'll just, I'll rank it at number two overall.
Number one, when it comes to just the depth that we really covered here.
We have a little bit more time.
So what could we do to get it to a number one on all lists?
Yeah, there's one more thing we could ask you to beat Ben Shapiro and the fascists.
But I repeat myself.
I don't know.
That's part of that's part of winning me over is you have to come up with your own final category.
Can you give us a hint?
I don't have something in my head.
Yeah.
Okay.
How about you guys give me your best parenting advice?
Parenting between us.
How many kids do we have?
How many do you have?
I have four.
I have three.
We have seven children, but not together.
Between us, but we have together.
It's just not chaos, though.
There's no anybody who says that there's like advice is just lying.
You just have to, you have to just hold on.
Is this your first kid you're having?
Yes.
Oh, congratulations.
Yeah, congratulations.
Thank you.
Prepare to be eaten alive.
No, you're going to do great.
It's actually wonderful.
It's amazing.
And I'm sure all the cliches that you've been hearing, they're all true.
So yeah, I don't know.
I feel like this is our first interview ever.
I know that you probably couldn't tell because it was so professional sounding.
Well, we thank you for being the very first interview we've ever had on the Babylon B podcast.
So where can people go if they want to want to keep up with your conversations with fascists or dox you?
I have a podcast called Relatable.
It is on iTunes and Spotify and Google Play, all those places.
You can also go to blazetv.com/slash Allie and you can find all the places where you can listen to the podcast.
Also, YouTube, Allie Beth Stuckey, is my channel name.
So you can watch my podcast there.
And of course, I'm on Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, things like that.
I'm sure you can just type in Allie Stuckey and I'll come up.
And that's about it.
So you're saying we should just Google you.
Do you want to ask us any questions?
Yeah.
Yeah.
All right, Allie.
Well, thanks for coming on.
Yeah, thanks a lot.
Thank you so much.
Well, that was a great conversation.
And we are really thankful that Allie Beth Stuckey came on to our show.
I'm going to help you and finish that sentence.
I was trying to think of an analogy with like, it was inappropriate.
It was like about how Jesus came down to transcended or no, Transfigured.
Transubstantiated.
My mind is.
It's the hypostatic union, right?
It's the kenosis.
I didn't go to seminary like you.
He emptied himself and deigned to come down to be with.
He condescended.
I think condescended.
Yeah, he condescended.
She's not condescending, though.
She's really nice.
Yeah, but that's not what that means.
It just means lowered himself.
You know, lowered.
Well, like, she's like.
That's true.
Yeah, she's a big deal.
Do you know how many followers I have on Twitter, Ethan?
Like a couple, a couple hundred?
Yeah, something like that.
I am the least well-known famous person in all of Christianity.
And Ali.
He's calling himself famous.
Lord, please don't strike him.
He will humble himself.
Allie was willing to come talk to us.
So thank you so much.
And it was great.
Thank you.
We have one more thing to do on this episode, and that's read some hate mail.
Yeah.
Hopefully, you can't hear the police sirens in the background.
I live in a really good area.
Yeah.
Okay.
So this is a big week because this is our first week where we have iTunes.
I almost said iPod.
iTunes reviews.
What's an iPod?
I know.
It's funny that podcast is stuck around because I never thought of that.
Yeah, because it's kind of like other sayings that are dated.
Like we rewind something.
Like, why do you say two bushels and a bees and a who says that?
Whatever it is.
Whatever the sayings are that people use that are dated that I can't think of right now.
I like that Ethan is this old country bumpkin from Oregon.
It's like two shakes of a lamb's tail.
Like, why did anybody say that?
Nobody knows.
Two bushels of a lamb.
Two bushels of a whatever.
So, yeah, podcast.
That's going to be such a dated word soon.
So we have iTunes reviews.
Actually, it's not called iTunes anymore, I think.
It's called Apple Podcasts.
We're going to be changing that too, yeah.
Yeah.
So Apple Podcasts, we got our first reviews in.
Like amazing amounts, too.
Like, thank you guys for just jumping on and declaring five-star, amazing podcasts when there's only one episode.
Because we could go way downhill and your review would still be there.
You're absolutely not deserving of it because there are much better podcasts out there that you should be listening to.
And people have worked so hard that have gotten like five reviews.
I feel so bad for them.
Yeah.
But we also got historically our very first one-star review.
And so we decided that this was a big moment for us.
And I think we're just going to let Dave read it.
Read it to some tuba music.
I decided some tuba music needed to go with this.
So here it is.
It's like hearing about how sausage is made.
I was hoping for something more like the Onion News Network.
Instead, they have a new format that nobody has done before.
Two white guys talking.
This is so boring.
I really miss Adam Ford.
One star out of five.
Oh, that was great.
So Dave did the original voice of Axe Cop when it first came out on YouTube.
And we did what they call motion comics.
Gotcha.
And he did that.
That was his Axe Cop voice.
So I asked him to do the Axe Cop voice.
That's what they call it.
It's like moving pictures.
Yeah.
It's just like really cheap animation for people.
Those are new talkies that have come up.
Well, I think we said pretty much right off from the bat that this is not going to be like that.
Like we're not going to be like, this just did.
And then some funny headlines.
So we tried it.
We've gotten some emails.
I've seen a few emails, people saying, why is this not just a newscast?
Yeah.
That would be a production.
It's not that funny.
It's not that funny.
Like the Onion had it.
And I never, I didn't like it.
They did like five-minute podcasts.
And I know they still do.
This is back when I literally listen to my podcasts on iPod.
Yeah, I don't think they do it anymore.
Okay.
Yeah.
And it would like, they'd play back.
Like, I wouldn't listen to it forever and then like it'd be like a week and a half or like I hadn't listened to it for months or whatever.
And then they'd all play back-to-back like five-minute podcasts.
Yeah.
And we had some people say it too, like, hey, edit it down, bro.
Like 15 minutes tops or podcasts.
When's the last me listen to a podcast?
That was 15 minutes long.
15-minute long podcast.
This is a really funny.
I love this review because he's mad that we're two white guys.
Two white guys talking.
It is kind of funny, though, that I think about this.
And the guy that he misses is a white guy named Adam Ford.
Yeah.
Who has a podcast?
If only it was three white guys talking.
And Adam Ford has a podcast, and it's one white guy talking.
Yes.
And yeah, it's funny.
It's good stuff.
It is fun.
Yeah, I thought about that.
It is kind of funny when two white guys go, or not even white guys, just two people.
We're going to start a podcast.
Friends don't let friends start podcasts.
We kind of have to.
I read that.
There's like hundreds of new podcasts every day on Apple iTunes.
It's insane the amount.
So while we were a little bit mocking this one-star review, I appreciate your perspective, sir.
Yeah.
It really is what we're thinking in the back of our head.
Like, huh?
Are people really going to listen to another white guys talking again?
How does he know that we're white?
I mean, did he Google us?
Because you'd have to go Google us to see.
Yeah, because we sound very ambiguous.
Yeah.
There's no way you could tell.
I'm not going to comment.
Especially Kyle, the name Kyle is not a white name at all.
Should we comment on I Miss Adam at all?
I love that.
I want to use that line.
Anytime we post a story or anything.
There's always one.
Yeah, there's always one comment.
Somebody comments.
I really miss Adam Ford.
So Adam Ford launched, if you missed out on the history, Adam Ford launched the Babylon Bee.
And then he announced that he sold the site, but he announced it like a few months after he actually sold it.
So I had been running the site for a while, and I've actually been involved since the very beginning.
So a lot of the articles you read and some of the editing and posting stuff, I've done since the beginning.
And so it's funny when people say, I miss when Adam Ford ran the show because he and I were working together right from the beginning and there really wasn't a shift.
And people have created this weird dichotomy where they think that political stuff is not Adam Ford.
And Christian stuff is from Adam, and that's just not.
I was writing a lot of things.
He's very political.
Like, go on and listen to his podcast and then go on Christian Daily Reporter.
You're talking about you say his podcast, you're talking about his little CDR talks.
He does little talks on there.
Yes, right.
listen to one.
I know he's trying to get into I wanted to hear what his voice sounds like.
It's like He's trying to launch a new thing, like an actual, like, you can go download the podcast on an RSSV thing.
I listened to the Jim Jones recording because I was so curious after I'd read a bunch of books.
Like, it's so weird to suddenly hear his voice.
That's what it's like to suddenly hear Adam Ford's voice.
Like, whoa, he has a real voice.
He's a real guy.
That's how people felt when they heard us for the first time.
Yeah, it probably is how they felt.
Remember when we did our first live Q ⁇ A and we were sitting in front of my shelf of board games?
Yeah.
And people are like, you can find that on our YouTube channel that nobody's been to.
And people are just like, oh, it's just two nerds in a garage.
Yeah.
And speaking of, oh, I think some music's going to come up.
I don't push this button.
Is this like when you get played off the stage at the Oscars?
I'm not good at recording stuff.
Like I said, we're total amateurs here.
I was actually going to say, I've completely lost my train of thought.
You got anything?
No, I'm good.
I think we're good.
Are we good?
Are we done?
Yeah.
All right.
We're going to move on to the subscriber portion.
Want to do a little preview we're going to be talking about for people that might be thinking about subscribing?
Yeah, so our subscribers get a bonus.
We were saying about 15 minutes of content, but it's been more like a half hour.
It's usually 20, 30 minutes.
So we're going to talk about a couple of Babylon B articles, older ones.
We're going retrospective.
We're going to do some classics.
Some classics.
Back when Adam Ford ran the show.
So if you miss Adam Ford, this is the subscriber portion for you.
And we're also going to do a Q ⁇ A like we've been doing every week.
If you want to listen to the exclusive portion of our podcast, go to Babylonbee.com slash plans and you can sign up for any plan level and you get access to a bonus section of the podcast.
So otherwise, it's good talking to you folks and we will talk to you again next week.
Kyle and Ethan would like to thank Seth Dylan for paying the bills, Adam Ford for creating their job, the other writers for tirelessly pitching headlines, the subscribers, and you, the listener.