Adventures in HellwQrld - Orban Loses, Trump is Jesus, Iran War!
Aired: 2026-04-15
Duration: 01:20:33


=== Infinite Money Glitch (09:10) ===

[00:00:31]  Adventures in Hellworld podcast talks in depth about QAnon.
[00:00:34]  While it's meant to be comedic and informative, sometimes we have to get into things like child abuse and violence against people.
[00:00:39]  Listener discretion advised.
[00:00:42]  Hello, everybody.
[00:00:43]  I am Mike Rains, aka Poker and Politics, and welcome to another thrilling, scintillating, and incredibly exciting episode of Adventures in Hellworld.
[00:00:50]  This week I'm joined by Eric, the deep state operative.
[00:00:53]  It's Eric.
[00:00:55]  Hi.
[00:00:55]  Yes, I've decided that I'm going to set up a third blockade in Iran to protest.
[00:01:02]  The excessive blockades.
[00:01:04]  You're going to blockade the American blockade of the Iranian blockade.
[00:01:08]  We're just, it's turtles all the way down.
[00:01:11]  That's right.
[00:01:11]  Yeah.
[00:01:13]  Yeah.
[00:01:14]  This is, boy, howdy.
[00:01:17]  Like, when last we left actually talking about Iran, like, we were going to nuke them or something.
[00:01:26]  Like, Trump was going to commit some nebulous war.
[00:01:29]  He's going to end their civilization, but nicely, apparently, because any claims that he was going to do anything bad.
[00:01:37]  To destroy their civilization is pure slander, right?
[00:01:41]  Exactly, yeah.
[00:01:43]  It's uh, it's just really funny that we just had this idiot post all this online.
[00:01:53]  Uh, the Allah, the praise be to Allah tweet.
[00:01:57]  What was funny about that was, um, I was gonna make a reference to that when I said hello, but then I was like, wait, I did that two weeks ago before he went and uh, did this, so it's like.
[00:02:10]  I'm getting ahead of my jokes here now.
[00:02:12]  Yeah.
[00:02:14]  Yeah, oh man, I just, uh, just it's just really funny that they did all this stuff.
[00:02:23]  And after all this, Trump just completely caved and just we're in this like half war, half not war.
[00:02:36]  We're the one thing I will say is that we're like, that's basically my takeaway.
[00:02:41]  And this is my not this is like not like me doing a hot take trying to say something crazy.
[00:02:48]  I don't do dumb hot takes.
[00:02:50]  I actually say what I think.
[00:02:52]  And I feel like we're fucked.
[00:02:54]  I feel like we really, like, we're going to actually have to, like, do a really, real big boy war with Iran to get the Strait of Hormuz open.
[00:03:03]  And I think that really sucks that we're, like, in a spot where it's like either Iran gets to have an infinite money glitch or we go to war with them.
[00:03:13]  And I think Iran, a nation that really sucks with a horrible, Despotic ruling regime, uh, them having access to infinite money is bad, it's really bad.
[00:03:27]  And Trump gave them the infinite money glitch, which is like it's this is all his fault.
[00:03:33]  He was the idiot that started throwing punches at them, and they were like, Well, we haven't wanted to do this previously because we realized it could really stir up a hornet's nest if we hit the infinite money glitch button.
[00:03:45]  But since you're swinging at us, we're doing it.
[00:03:49]  And the world's been like, ah, beans, Iran has an infinite money glitch now.
[00:03:54]  Oh, what is going on?
[00:03:55]  I've seen that coming.
[00:03:57]  Who could have foreseen this?
[00:03:59]  And it's just like literally, again, that button's been around for forever.
[00:04:04]  We've all known about it.
[00:04:06]  Yeah, apparently, Trump's own generals tried to warn him, you know, if you do this, they could blockade the Strait of Hormuz.
[00:04:12]  And he's like, they won't do it.
[00:04:14]  They won't hit the infinite money glitch button if I give them an excuse to.
[00:04:20]  Why would they do that?
[00:04:21]  And it's like, Sir, because it's infinite money.
[00:04:24]  It's a really good thing for a nation to have.
[00:04:26]  And he's like, I don't think they'll do it.
[00:04:28]  And then we started attacking them.
[00:04:29]  And immediately, whatever living Ayatollah or whoever it was was just like, quick, run to the room and hit the infinite money glitch button.
[00:04:37]  Boop.
[00:04:37]  Ah, sir.
[00:04:38]  Yes.
[00:04:39]  We are now obtaining infinite money.
[00:04:40]  This is great.
[00:04:42]  It's better than oil.
[00:04:43]  It's really good.
[00:04:44]  And it's just like, oh, man.
[00:04:50]  It's just so aggravating.
[00:04:52]  This.
[00:04:53]  I don't even want to get into it because I'm just going to say everything I say in every other podcast about this shit, where I'm like, should have voted for Kamala.
[00:05:01]  What the fuck are we doing, morons?
[00:05:02]  I mean, it's just, I don't want to get down that Debbie Downer road of just fucking pissing and moaning about this shit, but.
[00:05:10]  Elections are serious business.
[00:05:11]  And we really had a moment where we could have decided to not put this moron in power.
[00:05:17]  And a lot of people were like, no, we got to get the moron back in.
[00:05:23]  Let's do this.
[00:05:24]  And it's like, man, yeah, that's what happens when you fuck it up.
[00:05:28]  And now we're here.
[00:05:30]  And now we're here with a man who today literally said that he's Jesus.
[00:05:35]  Yes.
[00:05:35]  Oh, yeah.
[00:05:36]  That's going to be the.
[00:05:37]  We've done five minutes about Iran, and now it's time for 85 minutes about Trump being Jesus.
[00:05:41]  Oh, yeah.
[00:05:42]  I mean, it's just.
[00:05:43]  Holy shit.
[00:05:46]  You can't take this dude anywhere.
[00:05:48]  That's really what this comes down to.
[00:05:50]  We are ruled over by a dumb toddler who is just going to fucking break shit wherever he goes.
[00:05:56]  I mean, it was funny when I first saw the clip where Trump was trying to defend himself on it.
[00:06:03]  I was like, what's with the DoorDash lady in the background?
[00:06:06]  Then I found out that it was a photo op that just went horribly awry because he can't do anything right.
[00:06:15]  Oh, and apparently she's like a Republican op.
[00:06:18]  Like, apparently she's like someone who's been in like various, uh, like she was, she's, she's gone to, uh, I think she was in Nevada.
[00:06:25]  She went, she was at some Nevada, like, public, uh, one of those public council meetings where you get to go in front of the people and be like, you sons of bitches are all corrupt and I hate you.
[00:06:36]  So, like, apparently, like, apparently Granny gets around.
[00:06:39]  It's like when she's not.
[00:06:40]  And, uh, and I'm, and I'm guessing she was coached before she, uh, brought that deliberative to the, to the White House because, He was like, Hey, so what do you think about men and women's sports?
[00:06:51]  And she's like, I'm just here to talk about health care.
[00:06:56]  Right.
[00:06:57]  Yeah, that was the thing that was so funny is that, like, oh, God.
[00:07:00]  Yeah, they can't even keep the guy on script.
[00:07:03]  Like, that's what I said.
[00:07:04]  Because somebody's like, okay, he's going to ramble on about whatever pops into his raisin of a brain.
[00:07:11]  So we got to coach this woman on how to respond to anything that's off topic.
[00:07:14]  Yeah, we got to have her idiot wrangle.
[00:07:19]  The president of the United States to keep him on his talking points.
[00:07:25]  This is like when they would have Lindsey Graham or Marco Rubio as the second for all of Herschel Walker's interviews when he was running for Senate.
[00:07:36]  Sitting next to him, like a parole officer.
[00:07:38]  Right.
[00:07:38]  Sitting next to him, just there, they're like, Herschel might get, even though we've gone over the five questions the interviewer is going to ask Herschel, if Herschel glitches out, we got to be there ready to like.
[00:07:51]  Steer him back to safer shores.
[00:07:54]  We got to get him back.
[00:07:55]  So, what do you think about the economy?
[00:07:56]  Did you say werewolves?
[00:07:57]  I have thoughts on werewolves.
[00:07:59]  Right, exactly.
[00:07:59]  What Mr. Walker meant to say was.
[00:08:02]  Right, exactly.
[00:08:02]  Oh my God.
[00:08:03]  It's all of that.
[00:08:04]  It's all of fucking that.
[00:08:06]  I mean, yeah.
[00:08:08]  So, yeah.
[00:08:10]  Just that idea the idea that you would have some random person and they're the one who has to guide the interview with the president.
[00:08:23]  The photo op.
[00:08:24]  We're doing a photo op.
[00:08:25]  I'm going to hand you some grub in a bag.
[00:08:28]  The president's going to talk to me about no tax on tips, and we're going to do a grip and grin.
[00:08:33]  And I'm this like focus group tested old white lady who is appealing to a certain demographic and all that fun shit.
[00:08:44]  And it's going to be a bing, bang, boom, 15 minutes of fun.
[00:08:48]  And the next thing you know, she's holding the president's hand, trying to guide him.
[00:08:54]  Towards talking about his fiscal policies.
[00:08:57]  And he's like, I don't like men playing women's sports.
[00:09:00]  And you know who else I'm not really a fan of?
[00:09:02]  The Muslims.
[00:09:04]  And it's just like, it's like, Donnie, Donnie, Donnie.
[00:09:06]  It's like, Like, I saw this clip where Fox, you know, just kind of walked up and put the ball.
[00:09:14]  It wasn't even a loud ball.
[00:09:15]  He put the ball on the tee and said, Here you go, sir.
[00:09:18]  Knock it out of the park.
[00:09:19]  And they asked him, you know, about the price of oil come the elections.
[00:09:24]  He's like, Well, I mean, yeah, it could go down.
[00:09:26]  Probably, maybe it might go up.
[00:09:28]  And I'm like, Oh my God.
[00:09:29]  All you had to do was say, Yes, oil will go down.
[00:09:35]  The interviewer practically handed the answer to you on a cocktail napkin and said, Read this.

=== George Clooney Fallout (05:26) ===

[00:09:41]  Right.
[00:09:41]  She was like, Mr. President, if oil goes down before the midterms, that would be good for you.
[00:09:48]  What do you think will happen to the price of oil before the midterms?
[00:09:52]  And he's like, who knows?
[00:09:53]  It's crazy.
[00:09:54]  Anything could possibly happen to it.
[00:09:56]  What you're talking about, I can't remember her name, but like, but tell me.
[00:10:00]  I think it was, I think, Barta Romo or something like that.
[00:10:02]  Yeah.
[00:10:04]  And if we got it wrong, don't correct us.
[00:10:06]  She doesn't deserve to get her name right.
[00:10:07]  She works for Fox News.
[00:10:08]  Fuck her.
[00:10:09]  But the clip in question you're asking about, she spoon feeds him the question.
[00:10:16]  He then says it could go up, and her eyebrows shoot up when he says this.
[00:10:22]  You can just see the god fucking damn it reaction on her face, where she literally hands this idiot an absolute softball and he whiffs.
[00:10:32]  He still whiffs.
[00:10:34]  And it's just, oh my god, what are we doing?
[00:10:37]  And This is, I mean, I really, I truly cannot wait for all the books to come out about his second term, where all these fucking shitbag New York Times and other fucking political insider journalists are going to be like, oh, yeah, he was like fucking dying the whole time.
[00:10:57]  His brain was pudding, his hand was basically falling off at the wrist, like all of it.
[00:11:03]  Jake Tapper has a book slated for three months after he's out of office.
[00:11:07]  Oh, yeah, exactly.
[00:11:09]  That's the hard date he has set.
[00:11:11]  Right.
[00:11:12]  Either.
[00:11:13]  Like, yeah, April 20th, 2029, or three months after Trump is, or three months after Vance puts his hand on the Bible and takes the oath.
[00:11:23]  Right.
[00:11:23]  The book's coming out.
[00:11:25]  Unoriginal sin.
[00:11:26]  And it's like how Donald Trump followed Joe Biden's terrible example of hiding his health in the White House.
[00:11:33]  And it's like, the only difference is instead of being poorly sourced bullshit about Joe Biden not recognizing George Clooney quick enough for George Clooney's liking.
[00:11:43]  And therefore, he had to have crippling dementia.
[00:11:47]  It's just going to be like literally everybody on the record, like Levine, Bannon, Stone, like literally all of Trump's inner circle being like, yeah, he had crippling dementia the whole fucking time.
[00:11:59]  We barely got him over the finish line of 2024, and we were trying to keep him alive so that Vance could get the 10 ball after two years in office.
[00:12:09]  And depending on who's in office on January 20th, 2027, we'll find out if they succeeded or not.
[00:12:15]  So, I mean, it's like, it's just.
[00:12:19]  Yeah.
[00:12:20]  They posted, someone posted the latest photo of Trump's hand and like under the makeup, instead of it being like bruised, it was actually just like black.
[00:12:28]  Like his hand is actually like falling off at this point.
[00:12:31]  Like Dumbledore's hand in the sixth Harry Potter book.
[00:12:38]  I've watched like a few of them, I've watched a few clips of a few of the movies and I know the ending of Harry Potter.
[00:12:44]  So, but like beyond that, like I really, I just didn't get.
[00:12:49]  Much into Harry Potter, so I don't.
[00:12:51]  My childhood wasn't ruined.
[00:12:52]  I don't have to separate the art from the artist as a result of all that, but uh, well, just trust me that it was a good reference.
[00:12:58]  Oh, I'm sure it was.
[00:12:59]  I'm sure it absolutely banged.
[00:13:00]  I remember it is, yeah, but it's like, boy, howdy!
[00:13:06]  I mean, yo, Republicans, like you couldn't have worked with us here, we couldn't have DeSantis or Nikki Haley or someone who has uh two brain cells to rub together, they couldn't have been our president.
[00:13:20]  I mean.
[00:13:21]  We, you really needed to do this.
[00:13:23]  You really needed to put Orange Grandpa back in office.
[00:13:27]  So, and to just absolutely bull in a China shop, this shit.
[00:13:31]  I mean, You were probably going to win based off of inflation, anyways.
[00:13:37]  It didn't matter what the matchup was going to be.
[00:13:39]  You were probably going to get there.
[00:13:41]  And then, but instead, you were like, nope, orange grandpa, it's got to be him.
[00:13:47]  We got to put that guy back in power because he's so clueless.
[00:13:52]  We need it.
[00:13:53]  Circling back to the Jesus thing because I just feel like there's just so much material there.
[00:13:58]  We're going to talk about that for the remainder of the show.
[00:14:00]  I mean, don't worry about that.
[00:14:01]  I mean, I love it.
[00:14:02]  Yeah.
[00:14:03]  No, go on.
[00:14:05]  I'm just like, when we get to the Jesus stuff, it will never end.
[00:14:07]  I mean, I'll wait then.
[00:14:09]  Oh, yeah.
[00:14:10]  I'm just saying, I'll let you see some more.
[00:14:12]  Oh, please.
[00:14:13]  Oh, thank you.
[00:14:13]  Thank you.
[00:14:15]  My weekly therapy session that is this podcast is so great.
[00:14:19]  But it's just so funny that, I mean, that this is where we are, where it's just like war with Iran, we're totally fucked.
[00:14:30]  And then this moron makes a social media post.
[00:14:36]  And it's not even, I would never in a million years believe, oh, he's playing 10D chess.
[00:14:41]  He used the meme to distract us from the war in Iran.
[00:14:43]  No, he's just a stupid idiot.
[00:14:45]  He's a stupid idiot who posts shit because he never gets blowback for anything he does.
[00:14:51]  Again, he posted a fucking meme of the Obamas being apes, and it was a 24 hour news story.
[00:14:57]  If that, it might have been a 12 hour news story.
[00:15:00]  It was literally.
[00:15:01]  Any other politician on earth that would have been the funeral march for the president.
[00:15:06]  Right.

=== Buddy Rogers Discretion (02:30) ===

[00:15:07]  They would have resigned their office and slunk away in shame.
[00:15:10]  But quicker than Eric Swalwell, right?
[00:15:13]  Eric Swalwell and uh, Rodriguez got them both today.
[00:15:15]  Rodriguez, the Republican piece of shit who did all kinds of bad stuff.
[00:15:21]  I'm honestly surprised that the Republican actually had to face consequences.
[00:15:25]  I get the feeling that they didn't want to, like, they were probably like, buddy, we're in for a bloodbath in the midterms as it is.
[00:15:33]  We really don't need bonus bloodbath of Eric Swabble had accusations against him and resigned as a Democrat.
[00:15:41]  Gonzalez, like, or Rodriguez, whatever his name was, the Republican sex pest who did real big boy bad shit.
[00:15:50]  Like, they just didn't want to be like, hey, yeah, we're not going to, we don't want to deal with those attack ads.
[00:15:57]  We don't want any of that smoke.
[00:15:58]  So, can you please dip out?
[00:16:00]  And I'm pretty sure both Swalwell and the other guy were told, yeah, we got enough votes to expel you.
[00:16:07]  You will be kicked out of the House of Representatives if you don't leave voluntarily.
[00:16:13]  This is a you're fired or I quit.
[00:16:15]  You make the call.
[00:16:16]  You make the call.
[00:16:17]  So, yeah, however you want to do it.
[00:16:18]  You leave on your terms or our terms.
[00:16:20]  You decide.
[00:16:21]  It's the like, there's a story.
[00:16:26]  It could be apocryphal, but it's way more fun to believe it's real.
[00:16:30]  But, The wrestling champion of the day, the Nature Boy buddy Rogers, had been ducking Bruno San Martino for the longest time.
[00:16:39]  And allegedly, when they finally had their big match, Rogers had been told, Oh, yeah, you're winning.
[00:16:46]  And then the bell rang, and San Martino looked at him and said, We can do this the easy way, or we can do this the hard way.
[00:16:51]  And their match lasted 48 seconds, and Bruno San Martino was the new champion of the world afterwards.
[00:16:56]  So it was like, So Playboy buddy and Nature Boy buddy Rogers decided, Easy way, we're doing this the easy way.
[00:17:02]  I'm glad you specified because when you said Nature Boy, I immediately thought Ric Flair.
[00:17:06]  That's where he stole the name from.
[00:17:09]  The ancient times, the original Nature Boy was Buddy Rogers.
[00:17:12]  And then, yeah, and Bruno just picked him up and he said, I quit.
[00:17:16]  You win.
[00:17:17]  You're the champ.
[00:17:18]  I'm sure the fans wanted more than a 48 second match, but when it might have not been a worked wrestling match and Bruno might have been threatening to legitimately murder him to get the belt, Buddy Rogers decided, ah, discretion is the better part of valor.
[00:17:33]  Let me get out of here in one piece.
[00:17:35]  So, yeah.

=== Orban Rigged System (15:50) ===

[00:17:37]  But yeah, I mean, that's where we're at.
[00:17:40]  That was basically what happened there.
[00:17:42]  They're like, easy way or hard way, boys.
[00:17:43]  And they're like, easy way, we'll resign.
[00:17:45]  We're out of here.
[00:17:45]  Thank you.
[00:17:46]  Thank you very much.
[00:17:47]  Calling it a day.
[00:17:49]  Yeah, because sucks to suck for them.
[00:17:54]  And again, like, fuck's well, well.
[00:17:56]  The thing that always blows my mind about these people is how do you run for a major office, like governor of California or whatever, with something like that hanging over your head, like the sword of Damocles?
[00:18:08]  Like, you.
[00:18:09]  You do know that people will try to you over to make sure that you don't win because they want to win, like that.
[00:18:18]  That is one of the things that always makes me laugh about QAnon when they talk about like this massive conspiracy of baby eating Satanists.
[00:18:24]  It's like you do realize that if I were running in a primary against a baby eating Satanist, if I could prove they were eating babies, I would win that primary very easily because baby eating is a very bad crime that makes you go to jail for forever and ruins your family name for eternity.
[00:18:41]  Yeah, I mean, I mean, that's got to be like.
[00:18:44]  100% negativity rating right there.
[00:18:45]  Right, exactly.
[00:18:46]  It's just, I don't think you're going to find that one holdout.
[00:18:49]  It's like, you know, let's let bygones be bygones.
[00:18:51]  Who hasn't eaten a baby?
[00:18:53]  I mean, seriously.
[00:18:54]  Right.
[00:18:55]  I'm not going to find the Alex Jones primary voter who's like, I know the baby eating is bad, but he's done a lot of good things.
[00:19:01]  Just, it's like, no, sorry, Alex, you have to vote against the baby eater.
[00:19:07]  That's the other thing.
[00:19:07]  QAnon always talks about Hitler was Angela Merkel's father.
[00:19:11]  It's like, well, I'm really surprised that none of her German opposition parties have ever managed to.
[00:19:16]  Pin that on her that there's evidence of that, and it's like, by the way, uh, Angela Merkel's dad is the guy who destroyed our nation in a genocidal war of conquest, and suddenly the German people are like, Oh, and then but weirdly, no one ever busts that out to get her.
[00:19:33]  So strange.
[00:19:34]  I know it's uh, I always said the same thing about uh, like the moon landing deniers.
[00:19:38]  I'm like, Mike, you realize that we were in this kind of race against the Soviet Union, our mortal enemies, and if the if the Soviets had even one percent.
[00:19:50]  You know, 1% worth of questioning that this actually happened, they would have leapt on it, but they were like, nope, they got to the moon first.
[00:19:58]  Hats off to you, pal.
[00:19:59]  Right, exactly.
[00:20:01]  They were like, day one, those fuckers got to the moon, which would mean that you would have to believe the entire Cold War, all of it was kayfabe.
[00:20:10]  And they just like the president.
[00:20:14]  I would guess it was like Nixon and Brezhnev, like, met somewhere.
[00:20:17]  And Nixon was like, You're going to have to admit, you're going to have to tell them we got to the moon first.
[00:20:21]  And Brezhnev was like, Fine.
[00:20:23]  And then, like, Nixon, like, slid a suitcase with a billion dollars in it across the table.
[00:20:28]  And Brezhnev took it and nodded.
[00:20:30]  And then they just went on with their day.
[00:20:34]  Yeah, it's just so silly to think of all the moving parts that would have to be covered up in all of these conspiracies.
[00:20:43]  None of this shit works in countries where you have democratic elections because running against the satanic baby eater would probably be a really easy way to win a race.
[00:20:56]  Yeah, that would be the slam dunk of slam dunks.
[00:20:58]  I mean, it's like how Roy Moore barely lost a Senate seat in Alabama because he was a credibly accused pedophile.
[00:21:07]  And you just had this blood red state pick a Democrat because that was a bridge too far for them.
[00:21:13]  It was very close.
[00:21:13]  I mean, don't, don't, Don't give Alabama any fucking credit because they almost got Raymond Moore into the Senate, even though he was a credibly accused pedophile.
[00:21:22]  But they didn't.
[00:21:22]  They did manage to.
[00:21:25]  They looked at Democrat versus pedophile and it was razor thin, but they did take Democrat in the end.
[00:21:31]  So, I mean, good on you, Alabama.
[00:21:33]  Way to barely get that one right.
[00:21:35]  But that's the thing.
[00:21:36]  And speaking of Democratic elections that were totally awesome and incredible, Orban got his ass kicked in Hungary this weekend.
[00:21:43]  Yay!
[00:21:45]  And unlike someone else I could name, he was like, well, I lost fair and square.
[00:21:49]  Yeah.
[00:21:50]  Oh, I mean, that was like the real fucking second shoe dropping that was really wild about all of this.
[00:21:57]  Yeah, that surprised me.
[00:21:58]  Because, like, literally everyone I was reading about was like, yeah, Orban's going to get his ass kicked and then he's not going to leave power.
[00:22:04]  And Hungary is going to be a fucking mess.
[00:22:08]  Like, literally everyone was like, there was so much Debbie Downer shit about it.
[00:22:13]  They were like, yeah, Orban's going to lose the election, but that's not going to mean a fucking thing because this thing's going to go so bad after he loses.
[00:22:20]  And then he loses, and he's just like, Yeah, and Meyer, the guy who won, was like, Yeah, Orban called me and congratulated me.
[00:22:27]  He's packing up his bags.
[00:22:29]  He's getting the fuck out of here.
[00:22:30]  I'm going to be the prime minister.
[00:22:31]  It's all worked out.
[00:22:32]  And it was like, Holy shit.
[00:22:34]  Wow.
[00:22:35]  Wow.
[00:22:36]  Yeah, I'm not going to pretend I know a whole lot about Hungary, but yeah, I was totally, I totally thought that he was going to do everything he could to hang on to power.
[00:22:45]  Yeah, 100%.
[00:22:46]  Yeah.
[00:22:47]  Again, the two of us noted Hungarian political experts.
[00:22:51]  Yeah.
[00:22:52]  Basically, what I learned was that Orban had rigged, he basically rigged the system into this massive gerrymander.
[00:23:03]  And basically, they thought the gerrymander was going to make it impossible for anyone to beat them.
[00:23:11]  And so, like, I've seen like all these asshole right wing pieces of shit.
[00:23:16]  I've seen so many of them posting about, oh, you called Orban an authoritarian and you just lost an election, left power.
[00:23:22]  What kind of authoritarian is that?
[00:23:24]  And it's like, well, it's an authoritarian that wants money from the EU and has to like fucking toe the line where he barely allows elections to happen in order to keep getting money from the European Union and shit.
[00:23:35]  Yeah, I retweeted a thread about a guy who was explaining about how he was a different type of authoritarian who doesn't have an iron grip on the electorate, but he uses things like gerrymandering and things like that to rig the vote in his favor.
[00:23:55]  He had gerrymandering, he had control of the media, he does all this stuff.
[00:24:00]  So basically, Orban has gone through a bunch of elections before this.
[00:24:05]  Yeah, 16 years, I think he's been in the country.
[00:24:08]  Yeah, it's been 16 years, so it's He's basically four year terms.
[00:24:11]  It's like America.
[00:24:12]  But the thing is, is that they gerrymandered the shit out of the nation.
[00:24:16]  They then controlled the media.
[00:24:18]  So, like, the opposition parties really didn't have any access to the media.
[00:24:22]  And then, on top of that, Hungary was one of these nations that was like a multi party system.
[00:24:28]  And having a bunch of different divided parties made it so that Orban's party won their first past the post voting system in a lot of these areas.
[00:24:37]  So, like, everything in the system was set up for Orban to maintain power.
[00:24:44]  And then what happened this time around was literally his opponent was, uh, he's his opponent.
[00:24:51]  A lot of people are trying or beating us over the head of this.
[00:24:53]  His opponent was a right wing conservative, same as Orban, just pro Europe and not pro Russia.
[00:24:59]  The big difference was that this guy likes Europe and the European Union, does not like Putin.
[00:25:05]  And basically, all the liberal parties and centrist parties looked at the situation and said, the only way Orban can be defeated.
[00:25:15]  It's if he goes up against somebody else one on one with no spoiler groups, nothing.
[00:25:20]  So, literally, every other political party basically stood down to just let Mayar's party run one on one against Orban's party.
[00:25:30]  And didn't something similar happen in Germany when that?
[00:25:34]  When that AFD, the alternative party was trying to, yeah.
[00:25:40]  They were trying to like worm their way in, and everyone else was like, okay, let's just pick one guy and stand behind him.
[00:25:46]  I think that was France.
[00:25:47]  I don't think that was in France because, like, Le Pen's party did really well, and they were like, oh shit, they're going to have a big chunk of the French Congress in the next round.
[00:25:57]  They're like, after round one, Le Pen's party has a great chance of taking large quantities of the Congress.
[00:26:02]  And then, like, the center and the left all were like, okay, this district is you, this district is us, this district is you.
[00:26:08]  The stick church is us, no.
[00:26:10]  And they just formed a wall against Le Pen's party and they pushed her back.
[00:26:14]  I think the AFD German party, I've been hearing a lot of shit about people getting worried about the next German election that AFD might be able to actually do something.
[00:26:25]  But the counter argument I've been hearing from people is that because AFD fucking sucks and are basically neo Nazis, because Germany is a massively multi party system, There's no other party that was willing to form a coalition with AFD.
[00:26:44]  So, like, so they have to win a majority outright of their own.
[00:26:47]  Because if they don't, they will never get a majority because no other party was willing to work with them.
[00:26:52]  So, at the end of the day, like, the other parties will form a coalition government to keep them from power.
[00:26:57]  And I mean, we'll get over that bridge when we get to it.
[00:27:00]  The only thing I know about German politics that makes me laugh is the party that Merkel, I forget the name of the current German prime minister.
[00:27:08]  So, the way to show how fucking up on the ball I am about this stuff, but.
[00:27:13]  The three parties that are in their coalition, their colors are red, yellow, and green.
[00:27:19]  So people call it the Traffic Light Alliance, which makes me laugh because I just enjoy that.
[00:27:24]  Friedrich Merz is the current Chancellor of Germany.
[00:27:28]  Okay, yeah.
[00:27:28]  So, way to go, Friedrich.
[00:27:30]  Hopefully, you keep AFD out of power.
[00:27:32]  But the funny thing about all of this is that, so, Mayer's party in Hungary wins this massive landslide.
[00:27:43]  Of seats in the Hungarian Congress or parliament or whatever you want to call it.
[00:27:47]  I have no idea what to say it is.
[00:27:49]  But the point is, is that you needed 100 seats to get a majority.
[00:27:53]  You needed 133 seats to be able to alter the constitution to make it say whatever you fucking wanted to say.
[00:28:00]  And they got like 136.
[00:28:03]  So they're going to have that power to be able to actually fuck around and try to undo most of Orban's shit.
[00:28:09]  Yeah, I know he said that, like, he's already said that he's going to fund the hell out of, uh, Ukraine, yeah, yeah, because Orban's been the one who's been vetoing any the EU sending any money to Ukraine, yeah.
[00:28:22]  He's not going to block you, like, I saw someone said, like, posting a lie about him blocking the aid, but he was like, no, he's like, he's like, he basically said, I'm not going to fund Ukraine, but I'm not going to block funding to Ukraine.
[00:28:34]  It was basically his mindset, and um, he also said he wants the UK to rejoin the European Union.
[00:28:41]  I mean, so that he's like, way he's got a way different foreign policy than Orban, so good on him.
[00:28:47]  But the thing that's so funny about all this is again, so they win this 136 seat like landslide.
[00:28:56]  They only got 53% of the popular vote.
[00:28:59]  Basically, Orban's gerrymander that he created backfired on him in the most unbelievably brutal way.
[00:29:05]  And all these districts that Orban thought were locked up for him actually narrowly went to Meyer's party instead.
[00:29:13]  So, with a 53 winning 53 47, a six point win equals overwhelming landslide and the power to amend the Constitution.
[00:29:24]  So, it all shook out very well for.
[00:29:28]  Team good guys.
[00:29:29]  And I think my favorite thing was Rob Schneider was very upset that Orban lost.
[00:29:35]  I have no idea if Rob Schneider's on Vladimir Putin's payroll or not, but it feels like he might be, given how upset he was about what happened.
[00:29:42]  So that was cool.
[00:29:44]  And also that, like, that Joey Mazzoni guy or whatever on Twitter, the guy who accidentally posted under his real name when he was like, as a black lady, I'm very offended about what these people are doing.
[00:29:55]  And it was like, oh, oh, Manorino.
[00:29:57]  Manorino, yeah.
[00:29:58]  Like Jory Manorino, oh God, he posted a big pout.
[00:30:02]  He had a big cry on Twitter about all of this.
[00:30:05]  Apparently, that guy was getting a lot of money from Orban and Putin through Orban.
[00:30:11]  Yeah, Meyer had a press conference and he said that the CPAC festival in Hungary had been funded by Orban.
[00:30:19]  And he was like, we will not be doing this in the future.
[00:30:22]  If CPAC wants to come here, they can foot the bill themselves.
[00:30:25]  Yeah, they can go fuck themselves.
[00:30:28]  So it's like, holy shit.
[00:30:30]  Orban was just dipping into the public till so aggressively.
[00:30:34]  He's like, ah, the Americans are coming.
[00:30:36]  It's on me, whatever they want.
[00:30:38]  It's like, oh, man.
[00:30:39]  What we were talking about with the coalition votes and that, because that's one complaint I've heard about what happened to Swalwell in California, is that these people are all like, because California has a jungle primary system for governors.
[00:30:52]  So they're like, okay, now we got to make sure that the guys who are going to vote for Swalwell don't scatter to the four winds and there's not enough votes for any Democrat to make it to the final round.
[00:31:03]  And we're stuck choosing between two Republicans.
[00:31:07]  Yeah, there's too many Democrats in the primary field.
[00:31:14]  So I feel like there's going to be deals made.
[00:31:18]  Like people are going to stand down.
[00:31:19]  But the other thing that's really funny is Trump came out and endorsed one of the two Republicans, which is a fucking terrible move because that's not what you want, Donnie.
[00:31:30]  You got to play the jungle primary game.
[00:31:33]  You want both these guys to come in at like around 20%.
[00:31:36]  And then you hope all the Democrats just.
[00:31:39]  Crab bucket themselves and pull themselves under 20.
[00:31:42]  So those two guys make it to the final two, and you lock the Democrats out of the race.
[00:31:49]  If all the Republicans only vote for one of those two guys, now you're fucked because a Democrat, it wouldn't even matter if like one of the Republicans got 60% of the first round vote and some other Democrat limps in with like 40%.
[00:32:02]  And then when you get to the final two, the Democrats are going to win 65 35, because California is an ocean blue state.
[00:32:10]  People are just going to pick the guy with the D next to his name.
[00:32:13]  That's how this works.
[00:32:14]  I mean, it would be, it's reverse Alabama.
[00:32:18]  The Democrat would have to be a credibly accused pedophile for them to lose.
[00:32:21]  So, I mean, but yeah, thanks, Trump.
[00:32:26]  I hope you screw up this California primary process, but it'll get to it.
[00:32:32]  Eventually, it'll get to it because I saw some people talking about Kamala as a Hail Mary coming in, getting the governorship of California, which is hilarious.
[00:32:41]  Yeah, especially since.
[00:32:43]  I've been kind of skeptical about it for a while, but it actually does now look like she's thinking about throwing her hat in for president again.
[00:32:51]  Hey, I mean, my reaction is the more the merrier, and if you beat her, if you don't like her, beat her.
[00:32:58]  I've seen so many people like, oh my God, she's running these fucking Democrats.
[00:33:02]  And it's like, you don't think there's going to be a primary, or you're one of these brain rotted morons who think the quote unquote DNC is going to rig it.
[00:33:10]  It's like, can you name the DNC chair?
[00:33:15]  Listener, no, you can't.
[00:33:16]  You have no idea who it is.
[00:33:17]  No one knows who the DNC chair was.
[00:33:19]  And do you realize how no power this person wields?
[00:33:23]  I mean, I just laugh at the idea that the DNC is going to rig things.

=== Quincy Adams Slavery (09:11) ===

[00:33:28]  These people literally just fundraise for a big party they throw every four years.
[00:33:32]  That's all they do.
[00:33:34]  I just looked it up because I was curious.
[00:33:36]  And Arnold Schwarzenegger was indeed the last Republican governor of California.
[00:33:39]  Yeah, oh, yeah, exactly right.
[00:33:41]  The governor.
[00:33:43]  Back when the Republicans loved immigrants and they wanted us to amend the Constitution, amend for Arnold.
[00:33:48]  That was the battle cry.
[00:33:49]  They wanted President Schwarzenegger.
[00:33:52]  Hey, it was foretold the demolition, man.
[00:33:54]  Yes, exactly.
[00:33:56]  But yeah, it's really funny that you just had all these whiny children wanting, Arnie's our new great hope.
[00:34:09]  And now they couldn't hate immigrants more if they tried.
[00:34:11]  Now immigrants are the most evil, terrible thing in the history of the universe.
[00:34:15]  And he's so moderate a Republican that they'd all call him a Democrat.
[00:34:20]  Right, anyway.
[00:34:20]  Oh, yeah.
[00:34:21]  Fucking liberal.
[00:34:22]  Oh, yeah.
[00:34:23]  Because Schwarzenegger doesn't like Trump either.
[00:34:25]  The two of them had like a pissing contest.
[00:34:26]  I remember when they relaunched The Apprentice with Schwarzenegger as the boss, and Trump was like, fucking, he's like, Your apprentice ratings suck.
[00:34:34]  Oh, when I was the guy I ruled, it was like, oh, God.
[00:34:39]  Yeah, so, but yeah, they got nothing going on.
[00:34:48]  Ken Martin is the chair of the DNC.
[00:34:50]  And if you know who Ken Martin is, you're lying.
[00:34:53]  So, yeah.
[00:34:54]  I think the last time anybody cared who the DNC chair was is when it was Debbie Wasserman Schultz.
[00:34:59]  And that was what, like 10, 15 years ago?
[00:35:01]  Oh, yeah.
[00:35:01]  And it was the big conspiracy because, like, they were, oh, they were ringing against Bernie.
[00:35:04]  And it's like, yeah.
[00:35:05]  Yeah.
[00:35:06]  Debbie Wasserman Schultz, the fucking titan of American politics, that powerhouse.
[00:35:11]  It's like, It's a shit job.
[00:35:13]  I'm just like.
[00:35:16]  JB Pritzker is a billionaire in a family of billionaires.
[00:35:21]  You think if any fucking moron from the DNC went up to him and go, Mr. Pritzker, we need you to drop out of this race now because Kamala's our candidate.
[00:35:30]  You think that guy's going to give a fuck about what they said to him?
[00:35:33]  That dude could fund 10 campaigns for president if he wanted to.
[00:35:37]  It's like, you think if Gavin Newsom was like fucking up 15 in the primary polls, some fucking apparatchik getting paid like $22 an hour from the DNC is going to come up to him and be like, Mr. Newsome, we really need you to step aside now because it's Kamala's turn.
[00:35:53]  Yeah, he's going to listen to them.
[00:35:55]  It's like, fuck you.
[00:35:56]  God damn it.
[00:35:57]  We're going to have a primary and we're going to have a winner of that primary and it's not going to be fucking rigged.
[00:36:03]  And I mean, and I really don't have a horse in the race at this point.
[00:36:07]  I would, I mean, I would kind of like it to not be at this point.
[00:36:12]  I'm kind of like just done with how fucking whiny and piss baby y the internet is.
[00:36:17]  So I would prefer it to not be Kamala or Newsome just because of all the temper tantrums I'm seeing online.
[00:36:23]  But at this point, I don't think the temper tantrums will ever go away.
[00:36:27]  So it's kind of a threat that's lost its muster with me.
[00:36:32]  So, like, if some dark horse came flying out of nowhere, like, I like Asaf.
[00:36:37]  Every time I see that guy talking, I'm like, he's doing a good job.
[00:36:40]  I think Buttigieg is really cool.
[00:36:42]  And I just think that if he wasn't gay and his last name wasn't Butt, I think that dude would probably be president because he's a really good dude.
[00:36:49]  I just want to point out, I never made that connection until just now.
[00:36:54]  That never occurred to me.
[00:36:57]  And.
[00:36:58]  And I'm a white guy who grew up in the 80s.
[00:37:01]  Right, exactly.
[00:37:01]  Exactly.
[00:37:03]  Yeah.
[00:37:04]  We're offensive jokes against gay people.
[00:37:06]  We're totally cool.
[00:37:08]  Right, but we're adorable.
[00:37:09]  Yeah, exactly.
[00:37:10]  Oh, man.
[00:37:10]  But I just, yeah, if he was Pete Smith, I think as a gay guy, he would still have a chance.
[00:37:18]  But I just don't see it.
[00:37:19]  I just don't see it with the American electorate.
[00:37:21]  But I would love Pritzker because I also think he's a guy that's throwing punches and no one's fucking like, Cried too much about him.
[00:37:30]  He's a scrapper and he's from Illinois and Illinois knows how to fight dirty.
[00:37:36]  Yeah.
[00:37:38]  But I also like him as governor, so I'm kind of torn there.
[00:37:40]  Oh, yeah, I hear that.
[00:37:41]  I totally hear that.
[00:37:43]  Yeah.
[00:37:44]  I got a friend from Minnesota and she was kind of worried about Walls having to be vice president and not being her governor anymore.
[00:37:51]  So I totally understand that.
[00:37:53]  Unlike my state, which is literally the fucking state where presidential losers are birthed from.
[00:38:01]  Dukakis, Romney, Kerry, like our last guy that actually made it got shot in the fucking head.
[00:38:08]  So, I mean, we're batting a clean like over forever.
[00:38:13]  So, it's not gone good here in the Commonwealth, the Bay State, as it were.
[00:38:20]  We suck at having people win elections.
[00:38:22]  And if they win elections, they don't live very long afterwards.
[00:38:25]  Well, actually, if this makes you feel any better, George H.W. Bush was born in.
[00:38:32]  Massachusetts.
[00:38:32]  That doesn't make me feel any better.
[00:38:34]  Fuck that guy.
[00:38:34]  Oh, man.
[00:38:36]  Yeah.
[00:38:38]  Yeah, we don't claim him.
[00:38:39]  He's not one of ours.
[00:38:41]  And he wouldn't claim us either.
[00:38:43]  John Adams and John Quincy Adams were both born in Massachusetts.
[00:38:46]  And in fact, the town they were born in is now known as Quincy.
[00:38:50]  I'm sure by coincidence.
[00:38:51]  Oh, absolutely.
[00:38:53]  Yeah.
[00:38:53]  I mean, the Adams were pretty cool.
[00:38:57]  I mean, Quincy got in from some bullshit.
[00:38:59]  But John Adams, that guy.
[00:39:02]  Yeah, I remember watching the movie Amistad, and they were saying that the only thing that John Quincy Adams is famous for is his middle name.
[00:39:11]  Because he basically just rode on his dad's coattails, as far as I can tell.
[00:39:16]  So, here's your John Quincy Adams history lesson you never wanted, but you're going to get right now.
[00:39:21]  So, basically, that was when he wins the presidency, that was one of those elections that got thrown to the House of Representatives.
[00:39:30]  And Andrew Jackson got way more electoral votes and way more popular votes than him.
[00:39:37]  So, everyone was like, well, they're going to fucking give it to Jackson because he was obviously the choice.
[00:39:42]  And then Henry Clay, the Speaker of the House, like fucking cut a deal with Quincy Adams and got the House to pick him and he won.
[00:39:50]  And everyone was like, well, that was horseshit.
[00:39:52]  So it basically, the entire term of Adams as president was basically a four year campaign of Andrew Jackson, basically being Donald Trump running around screaming rigged and stolen.
[00:40:03]  Although, unlike Trump, he had a point.
[00:40:06]  And then he wins the second tussle against Adams and then goes on to be president for two terms.
[00:40:13]  And that's where old Hickory came from.
[00:40:15]  But the real fun is that John Quincy Adams, after losing the presidency, didn't go quietly into the night.
[00:40:22]  No good to see him.
[00:40:23]  He became a congressman, didn't he?
[00:40:24]  He then went to become a congressman and he was like a fanatical abolitionist.
[00:40:28]  That dude, like, literally spent, goes back into Congress and then just spends all of his days going, you know what fucking sucks?
[00:40:35]  Slavery.
[00:40:36]  Slavery fucking blows.
[00:40:37]  It's funny because I remember reading somewhere that he only spoke one time while he was a congressman, and that was to ask if somebody could shut a window because the draft was bothering him.
[00:40:46]  Oh, I believe it.
[00:40:47]  But like he was, like people knew that like he was just like, yeah, I really hate slavery.
[00:40:51]  And I want to make it really clear that that's the thing that that fucking that's a that's a craw in my ointment that I'm not a fan of.
[00:40:59]  So yeah, he was a pretty hardcore abolitionist.
[00:41:04]  And that was then and then and then he died.
[00:41:07]  And that was the end of it.
[00:41:08]  I don't mean you just had to look that up.
[00:41:09]  And yeah, him and his dad were the only two of the first 12 presidents to not own slaves.
[00:41:14]  Yes, exactly.
[00:41:15]  Yeah.
[00:41:16]  Boom.
[00:41:16]  Take that every other state in the union back then.
[00:41:20]  We had the only two non slaver presidents.
[00:41:23]  And he, uh, yeah, and Amistad, of course, was famously about him defending somebody who had been sold into slavery and, uh, did, and for some reason did not like being sold into slavery and wanted to get out of it.
[00:41:38]  Weird.
[00:41:38]  So weird.
[00:41:39]  Yeah.
[00:41:40]  What a strange thing to do.
[00:41:42]  You know, him and Dred Scott, I think they were the only two who ever complained about it.
[00:41:47]  If, yeah, if you listen to the way America wants to sanitize slavery nowadays under the Trump administration, you would believe that.
[00:41:53]  They learned useful skills.
[00:41:55]  Yo, here I am.
[00:41:57]  Oh my God.
[00:41:59]  What's really funny about that is I remember like one of the first videos from like Prager U back before they went totally off the rails and took the mask off.
[00:42:08]  They actually had like a video.
[00:42:09]  It was like, what was the Civil War about?
[00:42:11]  And they were like, it was about slavery.
[00:42:13]  And I'm sure they've like burned that video because now they're like just fucking all in.
[00:42:17]  Yeah.
[00:42:17]  Yeah.
[00:42:18]  Just went in the backyard and melted the negatives.
[00:42:22]  Yeah.
[00:42:23]  100%.
[00:42:23]  So, yeah.
[00:42:23]  So, all of that happened.
[00:42:27]  And this has been John Quincy Adams History Week.
[00:42:32]  Brought to you by Hellworld.
[00:42:34]  Now we just need a catchy song like Schoolhouse Rocks.
[00:42:37]  Right, yeah, we need something.
[00:42:38]  But yeah.

=== Trump Jesus Photo (17:20) ===

[00:42:40]  Don't worry, folks.
[00:42:41]  Next week we're bringing it back.
[00:42:42]  It's the Babylon 5 5.
[00:42:46]  Nightwatch and an analogy for fascism.
[00:42:50]  Yes.
[00:42:51]  Subtle as shit.
[00:42:54]  And it still got past the American electorate.
[00:42:57]  They still went right over their heads because we're in the middle of what he was trying to warn us about right now.
[00:43:02]  Yep, exactly.
[00:43:03]  Exactly.
[00:43:03]  But again, J. Michael Straczynski, also fucking Kennedy Kook.
[00:43:08]  Okay, you gotta let that go.
[00:43:09]  No, I can't.
[00:43:10]  Fuck you, J. Michael Straczynski.
[00:43:11]  Oswald acted alone, you prick.
[00:43:13]  All of you, all you old white men need to get over that shit.
[00:43:17]  I gotta look up and see what he's got to say about the new He Man movie.
[00:43:21]  Fuck Mort Saul for fucking breaking all those people's brains.
[00:43:24]  I blame him for everything.
[00:43:28]  That is such a deep cut for anyone who understood what I just said there.
[00:43:32]  It took me about three seconds because I had to mentally rewind to your JFK.
[00:43:37]  Yeah, you know, what's that?
[00:43:38]  What was Meathead?
[00:43:38]  I can't remember his name, Ron.
[00:43:42]  Rob Reiner, may he rest in peace.
[00:43:44]  I almost said Ron Howard, and I was like, no, no, different actor turned director.
[00:43:50]  Yeah, with a similar first name and similar hairline, yes, yeah.
[00:43:56]  Ooh, take that, you guys.
[00:43:59]  Uh, yeah, that's the only thing I got going for me.
[00:44:04]  The hairline hasn't moved an inch, like, yeah.
[00:44:07]  I have like, but I mean, I'm showing you like anybody else can see it, but my hairline naturally goes pretty far back.
[00:44:13]  And every now and then, people are like, oh, it looks like you're starting to lose your hair.
[00:44:15]  And I'm like, nope, it's been like that since the day I was born, yeah, that's just my hairline.
[00:44:20]  It's just that's my hairline hasn't moved an inch.
[00:44:23]  Yeah, right.
[00:44:24]  If I could trade my hairline for 30 pounds right now, I would be bald immediately.
[00:44:28]  Like, if like some angel just fell out of the sky and was like, Hey, Mike, you're gonna be bald.
[00:44:32]  What's funny about that is you were bald a week ago.
[00:44:35]  Yeah, exactly.
[00:44:36]  That's how little I care about my hair.
[00:44:38]  It's like, Your hair's gone forever, but you're down 30 pounds.
[00:44:41]  I'm like, Sign me up.
[00:44:42]  And then, and then like the guy makes a phone call and he's like, The big guy says we can only do 25.
[00:44:46]  I'm like, Deal.
[00:44:47]  I would take a five pound weight loss.
[00:44:48]  That's how little I care about my hair.
[00:44:51]  You are bargaining against nobody.
[00:44:53]  Like, literally, you're bargaining against nobody.
[00:44:56]  But, yeah.
[00:44:58]  So, anyhow, somehow we managed to make it 45 minutes before we got the Trump Jesus talk.
[00:45:03]  So, we did it.
[00:45:04]  So, here we are now, folks.
[00:45:05]  Strap in.
[00:45:06]  It's Trump Jesus time.
[00:45:09]  So, just a quick history lesson for the five people who didn't hear about this.
[00:45:13]  For the five people living under a rock who listen to this ultra, ultra political podcast, it's in the deep weeds.
[00:45:21]  But, by two deeply online people.
[00:45:23]  Right, exactly.
[00:45:24]  Just absolute internet brain rot people that listen to our podcast.
[00:45:28]  We love you.
[00:45:28]  We love you, as Elle would call you, beautiful babies.
[00:45:31]  You beautiful internet brain rotted babies that are listening to us.
[00:45:34]  The two of you who didn't know about the Trump Jesus story before you hit play on this thing.
[00:45:39]  We're going to clue you in on this.
[00:45:42]  So, it was a true social post, and I believe he was reposting someone, I think.
[00:45:49]  Yeah, he was reposting something from another idiot.
[00:45:54]  Which is funny because all the most controversial stuff he has is reposts.
[00:46:01]  Yeah.
[00:46:01]  And the thing that's really funny about it is the original photo.
[00:46:08]  So, if you don't know, we're going to do a little theater of the mind here.
[00:46:12]  So, basically, we have Trump.
[00:46:14]  As I'm looking it up right now, we have Trump as Christian white Jesus, where he's wearing the white flowing robe with the red, the red cape over it, and he has light coming from one of his hands, and his other hand is anointing uh, what appears to be a young Jeffrey Epstein, as people have described it.
[00:46:37]  And um, and there's a nurse and there's a soldier looking up at him like with fawning devotion.
[00:46:43]  There's a woman praying, that's yeah, there's a woman praying.
[00:46:45]  I'm gonna get back to that, but right.
[00:46:47]  There and then there's a trucker dude behind the.
[00:46:49]  Yeah, there's going to be a, I'll say, um, George Lucas with a trucker hat on.
[00:46:54]  Yeah, that sounds right.
[00:46:55]  Yes.
[00:46:56]  So then we have George Lucas with a trucker hat on.
[00:46:58]  And there's some angels above him and an eagle and a fighter jet, maybe.
[00:47:02]  I'm not even sure what that is.
[00:47:03]  The Statue of Liberty and fireworks.
[00:47:07]  And you're, you're, but you're, you're, you're missing the, uh, they're missing the real excitement here.
[00:47:11]  The middle angel looks like a Gundam or a demon or something.
[00:47:16]  Like the, the middle angel behind Trump.
[00:47:19]  Is like they're supposed to be the soldiers, like the other four guys are very obviously just like spirit soldiers.
[00:47:25]  I know, I thought maybe they were firefighters, like you know, the 911 thing or something.
[00:47:29]  They look like I mean, they all look like soldiers to me, and the uh, the mid, but the middle is a Gundam.
[00:47:38]  And maybe that's supposed to be the Holy Spirit.
[00:47:41]  I don't know who knows who the knows what they're going there.
[00:47:44]  But this is the thing that's so strange about it people found the original art that Trump reposted.
[00:47:56]  And in the original art, that guy is just another soldier, he's just like a regular soldier, like the other four guys in the picture.
[00:48:08]  Like someone on Trump's team took that picture, the Trump Jesus photo.
[00:48:17]  Yeah, I just looked it up and I see what you're talking about.
[00:48:19]  Yeah, they all five of them look similar in the original, right?
[00:48:23]  And then, and then, and then, somehow, weirdly, in the Trump thing, the fifth guy, someone called him Sauron from Lord of the Rings.
[00:48:32]  Like, yeah, so they like ran it through some sort of AI slop like filter.
[00:48:42]  And the AI slop filter like just transformed the middle soldier dude into robot demon Sauron.
[00:48:51]  And, uh, I was about to say that uh Sauron doesn't have wings, but then suddenly I remember the 75 years of do Balrogs have wings argument, right?
[00:49:00]  I'm bowing out, right?
[00:49:02]  Sauron may have wings for all we know, yes.
[00:49:05]  So, so this happens.
[00:49:08]  So Trump posts this thing, uh, people get very upset because it's Fucking blasphemy.
[00:49:16]  That's basically straight up, yeah.
[00:49:20]  It's idolatry.
[00:49:22]  There's a commandment about this.
[00:49:24]  Right.
[00:49:25]  Exactly.
[00:49:25]  Literally.
[00:49:26]  This is, again, according to Christians, according to your holy book, this is an affront against God.
[00:49:34]  This is literally something that would make God cry.
[00:49:38]  And Trump is doing it.
[00:49:40]  Trump is doing a bad thing to make God not happy.
[00:49:44]  And QAnon, because they do nothing but carry water for Trump, decided to go down this psychotic rabbit hole of explaining that this wasn't actually blasphemy.
[00:49:58]  And people started doing all this bullshit where they were saying, oh, it's not Jesus, which again, you're lying.
[00:50:08]  You're lying in the most unbelievable ways possible.
[00:50:10]  It is the classic Western depiction of Jesus, the white robes with the red vestment or whatever it is over it.
[00:50:18]  Right.
[00:50:18]  Right.
[00:50:19]  It's, buddy, it's Jesus.
[00:50:21]  It's fucking Jesus.
[00:50:23]  I mean, I looked at it having gone to Catholic school for most of my childhood and immediately said, oh, that's Trump is Jesus.
[00:50:29]  Like, not even, I didn't even stop to interpret it.
[00:50:33]  It was boom right in my face.
[00:50:35]  Yeah.
[00:50:37]  And so basically, all these people are like, if you look at the Bible, Jesus is never dressed that way.
[00:50:42]  And they started doing this whole thing where they were claiming this was actually an attack on the Pope, which obviously is really good.
[00:50:49]  Attacking the head of a fucking religious denomination is so much better than attacking Jesus Christ.
[00:50:55]  I mean, it's.
[00:50:55]  I will say, since QAnon, I'm assuming, is mostly evangelical andor Protestant, attacking the Pope is actually a pretty safe move for them because they do not like Catholics at all.
[00:51:06]  Oh, of course.
[00:51:07]  Fucking, of course.
[00:51:09]  Yeah.
[00:51:09]  So, yeah.
[00:51:11]  And then I saw people talking about how, like, David Axelrod met up with Pope Leo and then, like, Pope Leo came out with this stuff about how he wasn't really cool with the Iran war.
[00:51:23]  And they started talking about how this was an Illuminati plot to try to make, uh, try to sow division between Catholics and Trump.
[00:51:31]  And if that was the case, then Trump steps on the rake by making a big tweet about how he fucking hates the Pope and the Pope's a big piece of shit and go fuck that guy.
[00:51:40]  Which by total coincidence, um, I was reading a textbook and uh, it mentioned that it that that uh, Trump got like 53% of the Catholic vote, so it's not like he had them locked in or anything.
[00:51:54]  Right.
[00:51:56]  Yeah.
[00:51:56]  Yeah.
[00:51:57]  So he, so you have this shit where Trump, they start making this whole thing.
[00:52:04]  No, he was attacking the Pope, not the blah, blah, blah.
[00:52:06]  And then the Pope like came at him, so he's allowed to fire back and all this dumb, lying, horse shit.
[00:52:14]  And then today, after this firestorm, we get, while I think it was, I think it was while the DoorDash granny was with him.
[00:52:26]  Someone was like, yo, Trump, why the fuck did you post a photo of your picture of yourself as Jesus?
[00:52:32]  And Trump says, oh, I thought in that picture I was a doctor.
[00:52:38]  And you could hear, like, across the country, you could hear the collective sigh of relief from Maga.
[00:52:42]  It's like, yes, finally, we have something we can hide behind.
[00:52:46]  We can claim, oh, no, I thought he was supposed to be a doctor.
[00:52:50]  Which the fact that our media is so cowed that their immediate response was, what, are you a fucking moron?
[00:52:57]  How would you?
[00:52:57]  And he's like, and he's talking about, he's like, well, because, you know, there's the Red Cross, and I'm looking at the image.
[00:53:02]  There's no Red Cross in it.
[00:53:04]  Yeah, there's no Red Cross.
[00:53:05]  Yeah.
[00:53:05]  There's nothing in that picture that says doctor.
[00:53:07]  I have never, ever seen a doctor who dresses like that.
[00:53:10]  Yeah, I've seen people posting stuff of the pit, but they're all dressed like Jesus instead of his doctors in the ER and all that kind of stuff.
[00:53:27]  Yeah, like people are really having a good time laughing.
[00:53:31]  But I said I wanted to come back to the praying woman, and this is where I was because that's the thing.
[00:53:36]  There's a woman in the picture who has her hands folded and she's looking at Trump.
[00:53:40]  So she is unambiguously praying to him in the picture.
[00:53:47]  Right.
[00:53:50]  I mean, how could nobody praise the doctors?
[00:53:53]  I can't believe I have to say this, but nobody prays the doctors.
[00:53:57]  Right.
[00:53:58]  Nobody's looking at a doctor directly and praying at them.
[00:54:02]  Yes.
[00:54:03]  And what doctors have glowing hands that are radiating light?
[00:54:10]  I mean, just.
[00:54:12]  I say going back to Lord of the Rings, maybe you could say Aragorn with his healing hands.
[00:54:17]  Yeah.
[00:54:17]  And they didn't even have that in the movie.
[00:54:19]  So you would have to have read the book to know about that part.
[00:54:24]  And then someone asked Trump if he took the post, if he took the doctor wink wink post down because of comments from like Riley Gaines and others.
[00:54:35]  And Trump was like, No, I didn't.
[00:54:37]  And I don't care for Riley Gaines at all, anyways.
[00:54:40]  This just absolutely crushes her for no reason.
[00:54:44]  She's been carrying water for him for years.
[00:54:46]  And he's like, Yeah, fuck that woman.
[00:54:48]  Yeah, fuck that bitch.
[00:54:49]  I got no use for her.
[00:54:51]  She's stunning on karate in my house.
[00:54:53]  And it's like, What the fuck?
[00:54:56]  What the fuck?
[00:54:57]  I prefer swimmers who don't lose to trans men.
[00:54:59]  I'm sorry, trans women.
[00:55:01]  I apologize to any trans people listening to this.
[00:55:03]  You're done.
[00:55:04]  The spot's over.
[00:55:05]  Yeah.
[00:55:07]  No, but I mean, yeah.
[00:55:11]  I prefer swimmers that don't finish in fifth and then make a career off grifting off of their fifth place finish.
[00:55:16]  But yeah, I mean, it's just so funny that the dude, you literally can't say anything to the guy without him immediately attacking you, just immediately crushing you.
[00:55:31]  Which is, I mean, we already had that where he freaked out this week and was like Candace Owens and Alex Jones and all those other people.
[00:55:40]  And I saw what she said about Trump, and that was like the most milquetoast denouncement of all time.
[00:55:47]  She was like, I love him so much, I want to have his babies, but this one I kind of feel a little bit iffy about maybe inside.
[00:55:56]  I was like, whoa, fierce condemnation here.
[00:55:59]  Right.
[00:56:00]  And Trump's like, my way or the highway, bitch.
[00:56:03]  Yeah.
[00:56:06]  Because with Trump, loyalty is 100% or at 0%.
[00:56:09]  There's nothing in the middle.
[00:56:10]  Right.
[00:56:11]  Exactly.
[00:56:12]  Exactly.
[00:56:12]  Just so, so ridiculous.
[00:56:16]  Such a petulant child.
[00:56:18]  Again, we have a child as our president, a dumb, angry child that will seek vengeance against you for even the most mildest of slights.
[00:56:26]  Yeah.
[00:56:27]  Like all of these, I mean, again, like I listened to Alex Jones through Knowledge Fight, and the guy is just literally like, Donald.
[00:56:36]  Please love me.
[00:56:37]  Please stop bombing Iran so I can sell my dick pills while like talking about how wonderful and glorious you are and how God sent you to save us all from the bad guys.
[00:56:49]  So, like, every time Donald, every time Alex Jones gets mad at him, it's this half hearted man, this is bad, but he's done such good for America.
[00:56:57]  It hurts so much to say that I don't like you, Donnie.
[00:57:01]  And then Trump's like, fuck you, Alex Jones.
[00:57:03]  I wish you owed $3 million, billion dollars to the Sandy Hook families.
[00:57:07]  You piece of shit.
[00:57:08]  It's like, man, holy shit.
[00:57:10]  What the fuck?
[00:57:11]  You.
[00:57:11]  Can't look at the guy cross eyed over him, absolutely destroying you.
[00:57:14]  Yeah.
[00:57:16]  Yeah.
[00:57:17]  Thinnest skin on earth.
[00:57:20]  Yeah.
[00:57:24]  100% total subservience for your entire existence, or it's not good enough.
[00:57:28]  Right.
[00:57:30]  Anything approaching a mild rebuke is met with immediate excommunication from the inner circle.
[00:57:36]  You're out of here.
[00:57:38]  And it's only going to get worse because his brain is melting and he's just going to get angrier and crankier the more old and unfit he is.
[00:57:52]  Riley, she has a post.
[00:57:54]  I love the president and I'm so grateful he's in the Oval Office.
[00:57:57]  Of course, I'll continue to support him in the America First agenda.
[00:58:01]  At the end of the day, I do nothing for the approval of man.
[00:58:04]  Our purpose on this earth is to glorify him in capital letters.
[00:58:07]  So that's obviously God.
[00:58:09]  The truth social perk missed the mark.
[00:58:11]  It's now deleted.
[00:58:12]  Amazing.
[00:58:13]  We're imperfect people.
[00:58:14]  I know I am.
[00:58:15]  I don't get my feelings hurt easy.
[00:58:16]  And I know with the president, it's really not personal.
[00:58:19]  I want to.
[00:58:21]  Sorry, I don't.
[00:58:22]  Sorry, I just could not hold it back with the.
[00:58:24]  I don't, my feelings don't get hurt easily, but you're hurt.
[00:58:28]  Yeah, her whole life has been ruined.
[00:58:29]  The fact that she didn't come in fourth instead of fifth in a swimming meet, that her entire existence professionally was that slight, that great slight upon her that she lost to three cisgender women and one trans woman.
[00:58:44]  And that I should have lost only three people, I shouldn't have lost to four.
[00:58:50]  That burning rage I have inside me for forever will never be, never be satiated.
[00:58:55]  I will never know justice for the crimes that happened to me.
[00:58:59]  I want to spend eternity in a real place called heaven.
[00:59:02]  I'd love for Trump to be there too.
[00:59:05]  Sweetie, he ain't making it.
[00:59:06]  FYI, he's not making it.
[00:59:08]  And then she finishes by saying, Jesus.
[00:59:10]  Even he knows he's not making it.
[00:59:12]  He's literally done fucking things.
[00:59:13]  Oh, I'm going to hell.
[00:59:15]  I know I am.
[00:59:17]  Jesus is the way, the truth, and the life.
[00:59:18]  I'll keep doing my part by speaking truth and doing my best to lead others to Christ.
[00:59:23]  And then she finishes by saying, and no, I won't be selling merch with his insults on them.
[00:59:27]  Ha ha ha.
[00:59:29]  Yeah, yeah, just a stunning rebuke.
[00:59:32]  Yeah, just she was on the top rope and just you know, getting just elbow out, you know.
[00:59:37]  Yeah, oh, yeah, oh, yeah.
[00:59:39]  Randy Savage just jumped into the spotlight and then came down.
[00:59:46]  It's really funny.
[00:59:47]  I uh, the Randy Savage history lesson you're about to get here, folks.
[00:59:51]  I'm sorry, I know you wanted this, I know that's why you listen to the pod, but uh, it was really we have a huge WWE periphery uh demographic.
[00:59:58]  Oh, we absolutely do.
[00:59:59]  They they know I love.

=== Diamond Dallas Page (03:03) ===

[01:00:00]  They love, I love my half naked men beating each other up.
[01:00:05]  But with Diamond Dallas Page, who was fighting Savage at the end of his career, he was like, Yeah, apparently earlier in his career, Randy would like take that off the top rope elbow more on himself.
[01:00:16]  He'd like land his legs first and soak more of the impact with his own body.
[01:00:22]  At the end of his career, he just laid it in.
[01:00:23]  He's like, Every night I took that elbow, it fucking sucked.
[01:00:27]  Because he was just, He's like, I got osteoporosis.
[01:00:29]  I can't, I can't soften the blow anymore.
[01:00:31]  No, he's like, You're taking this all in your chest, motherfucker.
[01:00:35]  He's like, just, just, I paid my dues.
[01:00:38]  Right.
[01:00:38]  I paid your, yeah, you're paying your dues now, buddy.
[01:00:41]  Like, it was, it's really funny.
[01:00:43]  Like, when you hear the wrestlers mic'd up, there was the, these two ladies were beating the shit out of each other in this wrestling match last night.
[01:00:51]  And one of them jumps off the top rope to outside the ring.
[01:00:55]  So it is a fall, it is a long fall down.
[01:00:59]  And the other girl catches her.
[01:01:01]  They hit the floor, not the padded ring.
[01:01:04]  They hit the floor on the outside.
[01:01:05]  And it is a splat.
[01:01:07]  They splat when they hit.
[01:01:10]  And the girl that landed on top rolls away.
[01:01:13]  And the girl that took the move says to her, Give me a minute.
[01:01:19]  And then the other girl who landed on her said, Yeah, me too.
[01:01:23]  And it was just like, Yeah, this shit hurts.
[01:01:30]  We try to make it not hurt.
[01:01:32]  But when you're 10 feet above somebody else and you jump on them and they land on the ground, That sucks.
[01:01:39]  And you've got to take a moment to collect yourself afterwards.
[01:01:44]  Yeah, what was that?
[01:01:45]  That one, Hell in a Cell, I think it was, with, oh my God, I'm blanking on his name, Mankind.
[01:01:52]  Mankind McFoley.
[01:01:53]  Yeah.
[01:01:54]  Yeah.
[01:01:54]  MickFoley.
[01:01:55]  Yeah.
[01:01:55]  And like Jim Ross was getting ready to call the paramedics and a priest.
[01:02:00]  Right.
[01:02:00]  Oh, yeah.
[01:02:01]  Yeah.
[01:02:02]  I mean, yeah.
[01:02:03]  He, yeah, that was nuts.
[01:02:05]  I mean, he just got like, they, and like they've, I mean, in a way, he kind of ruined it for everybody else because he was the nut that took a bump that like no one should fucking take.
[01:02:16]  And, like, he, there's, yeah, he's doing the circuit.
[01:02:25]  It's really amazing that that dude still has his brain anywhere remotely near intact from all the shit he did to himself.
[01:02:33]  But he recently, so, and we'll finish the wrestling segment here, but basically, there's this guy, Diamond Dallas Page, who the guy who took those Randy Savage elbows, he's basically reinvented himself as the guy who helps out all the Crippled old wrestlers and all the drug addict wrestlers get clean, get sober, get rehab.
[01:02:55]  Like, basically, Diamond Dallas Page is like literally a saint in the wrestling community.
[01:02:59]  Everyone's like, that man is doing so much great work.
[01:03:02]  It's incredible.

=== Thumbtack Power Play (04:34) ===

[01:03:04]  So, between Diamond Dallas Page's DDP yoga and physical therapy and getting on the Ozempic, Mick Foley's lost like 60 pounds.
[01:03:14]  So, he's like almost like he's not quite at his wrestling weight, but he's down quite a bit.
[01:03:21]  When you're as totally banged up and mutilated as that guy is, having an extra 60 pounds off your frame is probably a massive relief to your knees and your back, which are all barking at you every moment of your life because you basically killed yourself for like 10 years.
[01:03:37]  Trying to make it as a professional wrestler.
[01:03:39]  So, yeah, I wonder if he's got like a dulled sense of pain or something.
[01:03:45]  Oh, yeah.
[01:03:46]  Yeah.
[01:03:46]  That's a, that's a, I mean, that's always been a great question for that guy because he, yeah, he basically just like was like the guy who was like, I will, I will take any bump.
[01:03:55]  I will suffer any abuse.
[01:03:57]  Like it doesn't matter what it is.
[01:03:58]  Like there was, there was like some match where right before the match happened, he and his opponent were in the office with Vince McMahon and Vince was like, no thumbtacks.
[01:04:10]  And then Vince leaves, and his opponent was like, You got the thumbtacks right.
[01:04:14]  And Nick was like, You know it.
[01:04:15]  And they were just like, We're going to go out there.
[01:04:17]  We're going to do them anyways.
[01:04:19]  So, yeah.
[01:04:24]  Just to make sure I understand that's so they can cut themselves to make the mash look bloodier, right?
[01:04:28]  No, no, no.
[01:04:29]  That's laying a pile of thumbtacks on the mat and then driving your body into them and just impaling yourself on the thumbtacks.
[01:04:37]  Like what you're thinking of is just using a razor blade to what's called gigging yourself, gigging or like cutting yourself to get blood.
[01:04:43]  And, uh, My favorite thing about gigging is that, like, wrestlers, that's what you do.
[01:04:49]  You just get hit by something, you take a razor, you tap, you give yourself a little nick, you get some good blood going, it looks good.
[01:04:56]  And that was something that was also, I don't know how prevalent it is currently in hockey, but back in the day in hockey, if you got hit with a high stick, the indicator, if it was a major penalty where your team got a five minute power play where you could score infinite goals and the guy did not get out of the penalty box, Or a two minute power play where if you got one goal, the guy got immediately released.
[01:05:21]  The difference was blood.
[01:05:23]  So if you got hit in the head with a high stick, you were trained to go down face down and lay there.
[01:05:30]  And the trainer would run out to you with a towel.
[01:05:33]  And inside that towel, they would have a razor blade and they would nick you.
[01:05:37]  And then when you got up, you'd show the ref, Hey, he got me.
[01:05:40]  He drew blood and you'd get a five minute power play out of it.
[01:05:44]  And I would tell people this.
[01:05:45]  They're like, I don't believe you.
[01:05:46]  And I'm like, You don't think a professional athlete would fake a little cut on their forehead to get a massive competitive advantage in a game?
[01:05:54]  Are you crazy?
[01:05:55]  And people are like, they would never do that.
[01:05:57]  I'm like, dude, wrestlers do that to make it look cool.
[01:06:02]  They don't win the wrestling match by bleeding.
[01:06:04]  Whereas a hockey player with a little cut on his forehead, that could win the match for them.
[01:06:09]  They could score three goals on that power play.
[01:06:12]  It's insane to think they wouldn't do that.
[01:06:14]  But people are like, oh, God, so barbaric.
[01:06:17]  I'm like, no, it's not.
[01:06:18]  Get over yourself.
[01:06:23]  Yeah, it's.
[01:06:25]  I mean, it's.
[01:06:26]  That was always the thing where, you know, back when people still thought this was all real, where they'd be like, no, look, they're actually getting hurt.
[01:06:33]  And it's like, well, yeah, but they're actually getting hurt, but that doesn't mean it's not scripted.
[01:06:37]  Right.
[01:06:37]  That's the thing is predetermined is the best way to describe it.
[01:06:40]  It's not fake, it's predetermined because they are hurting themselves.
[01:06:44]  Well, and I heard some, like, I think I heard like Randy Savage with, like, with, wanted to, like, work out every single, you know, movement of the match beforehand.
[01:06:53]  Oh, yeah.
[01:06:54]  That was the thing.
[01:06:55]  Like, he did that.
[01:06:57]  And a lot of guys didn't like doing it that way.
[01:06:59]  Like a lot of other guys would, like what they call it in the ring.
[01:07:03]  Like you start the match, you lock up, you get in the headlock, and then you start telling the other guy what you want to do.
[01:07:11]  And CM Punk, who he has this great story where, like, usually the bad guy talks the match and goes through what they're going to do.
[01:07:24]  And he's the bad guy now, and he's fighting John Cena, and he gets John Cena in a headlock, and John Cena starts calling all these moves.
[01:07:32]  And CM Punk looks at the ref and goes, Yo, ref, who's fucking calling this match?

=== CM Punk Bad Guy (11:14) ===

[01:07:38]  I'm the bad guy.
[01:07:39]  I'm supposed to be calling the moves.
[01:07:42]  Or does John Cena just pull rank on me and he gets to call the moves?
[01:07:45]  Like, you tell me.
[01:07:46]  And then Cena was like, Oh, you want to call it?
[01:07:49]  Go for it.
[01:07:50]  And he was like, Okay, good.
[01:07:51]  Thank you.
[01:07:52]  Thanks, John.
[01:07:54]  And that's the thing is like, that's like two entirely different schools of thought in these wrestling matches where like one guy wants like literally everything mapped out bell to bell.
[01:08:03]  We're going to hit all our marks.
[01:08:06]  And then other guys, yeah, we'll just get in there and we'll just tell each other what to do while we're doing it.
[01:08:09]  Like, because when that happens, usually, like, what happens is the promoter comes up to you and says, Okay, Steve, Bill's going to beat you and he's going to beat you clean and it's going to go 12 minutes.
[01:08:22]  And that's all you know.
[01:08:23]  You know, you know the finish, you know who's winning and you know how much time you have.
[01:08:27]  And like, the referee will often like come over to you during the match and be like, Okay, guys, you got three minutes left and like let you know how close you are to.
[01:08:36]  Hitting your time mark and when you got to get done with the match.
[01:08:39]  So, yeah, it's a crazy form of theater.
[01:08:44]  So, and I don't, I mean, and if you don't want to be horribly mutilated by it, I suggest you retire young because boy howdy.
[01:08:52]  So, to recap today wrestling, wrestling, wrestling, I ran blockade, blockade, Trump is Jesus.
[01:08:58]  Yep, pretty much.
[01:08:59]  I mean, and yeah.
[01:09:02]  Oh, and Old Lady DoorDasher is apparently a good thing.
[01:09:05]  Yeah, Old Lady DoorDasher.
[01:09:06]  Yeah, like, A 70 year old granny doing DoorDash instead of because my husband has cancer, right?
[01:09:12]  Instead of being able to live comfortably in your retirement, having worked a life in the middle class in America, instead of just being able to retire and enjoy your social security and a comfortable existence, granny's got to go out there and be a burrito taxi for people, and that's the way it should be.
[01:09:30]  And she should also have strong opinions about transgender people in sports, yes, yeah.
[01:09:38]  Strong and predetermined, yes, strong and predetermined, yeah, yeah, that's uh, that's the uh, that one other very important part of wrestling is promos, and Trump and Herschel Walker can't do them anymore.
[01:09:53]  So, we that's like that's in so in wrestling, if you can wrestle but you can't talk, they get you a manager to do the talking for you, and that's literally what we have now.
[01:10:07]  The DoorDasher was the Bobby the Brain Heenan.
[01:10:10]  To uh, Donald Trump's King Kong Bundy today to like help him with the promo and let him know, let everybody know that MAGA Mania is going to run wild on America, like in the midterms.
[01:10:22]  I mean, it's just It's, I mean, we literally spent the entire 2024 election talking about how Joe Biden's inability to talk was devastating and we needed to get that bum out of here ASAP.
[01:10:35]  Meanwhile, our current president is handed his Chipotle from a 70 year old woman.
[01:10:41]  And he's like, Thank you, 70 year old woman, for the food.
[01:10:44]  And I know I'm supposed to talk about no tax on tips, but I really got to know if you hate trans people.
[01:10:50]  Do you hate trans people with the fire of a passion and the passion of a thousand burning suns in your heart?
[01:10:55]  Because you really should.
[01:10:57]  And Granny's like, I'm, I'm here to talk about your economic policy, sir.
[01:11:01]  We're trying to get the midterms onto a better ground about that.
[01:11:05]  And he's like, Oh, I don't care.
[01:11:07]  I just know my voters hate trans people.
[01:11:09]  So I just wanted to get that out there for them.
[01:11:12]  And now the lady from Fox is calling me.
[01:11:15]  Yes, lady from Fox.
[01:11:16]  Yes, I do think gas prices will go up.
[01:11:19]  Click hangs up on her.
[01:11:20]  I mean, just stepping on every rake he can get his feet on.
[01:11:26]  It's the side soap bob skit from The Simpsons, just hammering rake after rake after rake.
[01:11:32]  And, and I mean, it's just, it's gotta be.
[01:11:36]  And the media is gonna do everything they can to help him limp through these next three years.
[01:11:40]  Oh, everything in their power.
[01:11:42]  Like, I, there's a part of me that, like, I really want him to not have health issues.
[01:11:51]  I really want him to just, like, be this incoherent moron, to just see him as a campaign surrogate on the 2028 campaign trail because he would be so toxic and so miserable.
[01:12:05]  The dude, he spent half the speech, is saying, I think I should run again, right?
[01:12:08]  Exactly.
[01:12:09]  Oh my god, oh my, like literally, I've been like, I'm when I'm uh, when you work at a casino at 10 in the morning, there's like a couple degenerates playing blackjack, but there's really no one there, so I'm just like usually bored to tears just hanging out, just uh, doing my level best to appear that I'm busy, but it's there's really not a lot of work to do at that point.
[01:12:32]  And I've been thinking about this, like the Trump stump speech when he's campaigning on behalf of Vance in 2028.
[01:12:39]  He's just going to be like, yeah, JD will be a great president.
[01:12:42]  Not as great as me.
[01:12:43]  I was the greatest president America ever had.
[01:12:46]  I'm sure he'll do an okay job, but not as good as the job I did.
[01:12:49]  I did such a great job.
[01:12:51]  I should really be allowed to have a third term.
[01:12:53]  It's so unfair.
[01:12:54]  They're treating me so unfairly by not letting me have a third term, especially when they rigged and stole the 2020 election from me.
[01:13:00]  He's just going to veer off into petty grievances.
[01:13:04]  And how miserable his life is, and he's not going to be president soon.
[01:13:08]  And he's just going to be upset that JD or Rubio is going to be the fucking nominee and not him.
[01:13:16]  And just all of it, just all of it.
[01:13:18]  He is going to be such a fucking baby about it.
[01:13:21]  It's, I mean, QAnon, MAGA, all of you, you all really need to hope that the man just resigns gracefully due to health issues.
[01:13:34]  Because if he stays hanging out, he is going to be such an albatross around your necks.
[01:13:39]  It's not even funny.
[01:13:41]  And it's so much better for the QAnon story if Trump leaves office due to health reasons instead of just meekly limping out the door.
[01:13:51]  And then JD Vance gets dogwalked by Pritzker or Ossoff or whoever in the election.
[01:13:56]  Yeah.
[01:13:58]  Because then QAnon has to explain why in 12 years he didn't do everything he was predicted to do.
[01:14:04]  Right.
[01:14:04]  If he dies or if he leaves office because his brain turns into tapioca.
[01:14:10]  Then he gets to become Kennedy, where, oh, Kennedy would have got us out of Vietnam.
[01:14:15]  Oh, Kennedy would have ended the Cold War.
[01:14:17]  Like all the magic that people project onto Kennedy, they could do it with Trump.
[01:14:23]  Whereas if he just actually serves out a full four year term and then just like sneaks back to Mar-a-Lago, goes quiet into that good night.
[01:14:33]  Right.
[01:14:33]  He just goes quietly into the good night, just drifts off to Mar-a-Lago.
[01:14:36]  And every now and then you hear somebody talking about reopening one of the cases against Trump.
[01:14:40]  Or whatever, but it never goes anywhere.
[01:14:43]  And then, like three or four years after his presidency's over, he dies.
[01:14:46]  And it's just like, yep, that's it.
[01:14:49]  That was your boy.
[01:14:49]  He had two not good terms of office.
[01:14:53]  He did not send Hillary and Obama to Gitmo to be executed for their crimes.
[01:14:59]  You got none of your dreams fulfilled.
[01:15:02]  And now, some evil liberal is your president.
[01:15:06]  So it was all for nothing.
[01:15:08]  So, yeah, get fucked, idiots.
[01:15:10]  I mean, that's just a dream for me.
[01:15:13]  I mean, Again, if any of these people had any sense at all, they would be talking a huge game about how much they love Trump.
[01:15:19]  Meanwhile, they'd be like, yo, God, God, please get him out of office tomorrow.
[01:15:24]  Just get him out.
[01:15:25]  However, you got to do it, God, please.
[01:15:27]  The last thing we need is for him to limp over the finish line here.
[01:15:30]  Yeah, run him out the door under a raincoat or something.
[01:15:33]  Yeah, something, anything, anything.
[01:15:35]  Just, yeah.
[01:15:37]  Like Ivanka gets hit by a bus and his grief is just too great and he has to resign the presidency because his beloved daughter is no longer with us.
[01:15:45]  Just something, anything.
[01:15:47]  Podcaster wants Ivanka Trump to die.
[01:15:49]  Yep, my cancel me.
[01:15:51]  I was, I was, I might get us some views actually.
[01:15:54]  It was a dumb hypothetical to talk about Trump leaving office.
[01:15:57]  There's no such thing as bad publicity.
[01:15:59]  Yeah, nowadays, exactly.
[01:16:02]  Just have no shame.
[01:16:03]  Just have absolutely no shame.
[01:16:04]  Double down on it.
[01:16:05]  That's right.
[01:16:06]  Turn your shame in at the door.
[01:16:09]  Right.
[01:16:10]  Yeah.
[01:16:11]  Yeah.
[01:16:11]  Next week, I'll be like, I hope, I hope the bus hits Ivanka and Eric.
[01:16:15]  And it's like, not this one.
[01:16:17]  Yeah.
[01:16:18]  Yeah.
[01:16:18]  Exactly.
[01:16:19]  Exactly.
[01:16:21]  Look out, John Jr., I'm coming for you next week.
[01:16:28]  I do this long drawn out skit where I'm pretending to see if Baron Trump's 18 years or older so I can attack him on the pod.
[01:16:35]  I'm like, oh, oh.
[01:16:37]  And everyone's like, don't do it, Mike.
[01:16:38]  Don't go after Baron.
[01:16:40]  He's their God Emperor.
[01:16:41]  They all love him.
[01:16:43]  And I'm like, Baron Trump, I'm not going to say anything about you yet, buddy.
[01:16:47]  Sleep with one eye open, though, Baron.
[01:16:49]  Sleep with one eye open.
[01:16:50]  Yeah, he's going to be their Prince Joffrey.
[01:16:54]  Oh, yeah.
[01:16:56]  Oh, God.
[01:16:56]  There's a fantasy reference everyone will get.
[01:16:59]  Yeah.
[01:16:59]  Oh, yeah.
[01:16:59]  100%.
[01:17:00]  Finally, finally.
[01:17:01]  Topical.
[01:17:03]  But I, if you're, I mean, obviously, I think Eric and Don Jr. are like horribly internet poisoned.
[01:17:11]  It's got to like just eat so much shit that you just look at all these gripers and internet freaks and neo Nazis and they're like putting all this stock in Baron Trump.
[01:17:23]  And it's like, what happened to me?
[01:17:25]  Am I fucking chopped liver?
[01:17:27]  I'm Don Jr., motherfucker.
[01:17:28]  I'm Jr.
[01:17:29]  He gave the president his name.
[01:17:33]  I'm next in line, asshole, not him.
[01:17:36]  And everyone's like, shut up, Don, do more cocaine.
[01:17:38]  We don't care about you.
[01:17:41]  Baron Trump is the empty tablet that we are painting our masterpieces on.
[01:17:47]  He is our guy.
[01:17:47]  And Darth Vader is like, I stopped listening as soon as he said, do more cocaine.
[01:17:51]  Yeah, exactly.
[01:17:53]  You don't have to ask twice.
[01:17:58]  Stop drilling.
[01:17:59]  You've already hit oil.
[01:18:00]  Yeah.
[01:18:02]  Yeah.
[01:18:04]  So, yeah.
[01:18:07]  Our president is either so non Christian that he committed blasphemy openly and just right in the face of everyone, just dunked in all your faces and told you he doesn't give a fuck about your religion.
[01:18:21]  Or he's such a huge moron, he didn't know that Jesus Christ isn't a doctor.
[01:18:27]  Those are your two.
[01:18:29]  It's the great stupid or evil question.
[01:18:31]  You only have those two options.
[01:18:33]  There's no C. There's A, evil, B, stupid.
[01:18:37]  There's no C. There's no third option on the test.
[01:18:41]  You have to fill in one of those two ovals.
[01:18:44]  So pick your poison, MAGA.
[01:18:46]  Pick your poison for what you want Trump to be.
[01:18:49]  I did see one guy who tried to take a third option.

=== Fish Family Freedom (01:40) ===

[01:18:53]  He's like, well, really, it's up to interpretation what he's supposed to be in that image.
[01:18:59]  Yeah.
[01:19:00]  Right.
[01:19:01]  Like, come on.
[01:19:02]  Come on.
[01:19:03]  Yeah.
[01:19:03]  Yeah, fuck you.
[01:19:05]  Everybody.
[01:19:06]  Like, you know, Richard Dawkins rose from the grave and said, I'm an atheist.
[01:19:10]  And I see that's Jesus.
[01:19:12]  Yeah, exactly.
[01:19:17]  Oh, God.
[01:19:19]  Yeah.
[01:19:19]  So, yeah, that's it.
[01:19:21]  We're done here this week, everybody.
[01:19:22]  Thank you all for listening.
[01:19:23]  Find a review wherever you listen to us.
[01:19:25]  Patreon.com slash poker politics.
[01:19:27]  Put some money in the tip jar.
[01:19:29]  Don't want to do that.
[01:19:30]  Love146.org.
[01:19:32]  Kick some money there.
[01:19:32]  If you don't want to do that, you know what I want you to do?
[01:19:34]  I want you to donate to Mary Peralta, the fish lady running for Senate.
[01:19:38]  In Alaska, because that would be incredible if we won that fucking Senate seat in Alaska.
[01:19:42]  And I love her.
[01:19:44]  I love that she has the gimmick of being the fish lady.
[01:19:47]  That is just such a fucking easy label to just slap on somebody.
[01:19:52]  And it obviously means a lot to the Alaskan people because fishing is a big part of their economy.
[01:19:57]  So you just come out.
[01:19:58]  And that's the thing it's like so fucking nonpartisan.
[01:20:01]  You're just like, I'm the lady that's in favor of Alaskan fishing.
[01:20:05]  And it's what are you as a Republican going to do about that?
[01:20:08]  You're going to be like, ah, fuck you, fish lady.
[01:20:10]  You.
[01:20:11]  Don't actually support our business and commerce in our state.
[01:20:14]  It's like, no, she does.
[01:20:16]  That's what it's all about.
[01:20:17]  Like, fish, family, and freedom, baby.
[01:20:21]  Fish, family, and freedom.
[01:20:22]  Thanks to Frosty and DJ Minimal Effort for the music that I accidentally remixed.
[01:20:27]  Thank you all for listening.
[01:20:28]  And never forget that Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone in the assassination of President Kennedy.