All Episodes
Previous Next
Jan. 6, 2025 - Adventures in HellwQrld
01:24:29
Adventures in HellwQrld Presents: Pizzagate Part 4: The Emails.

This week we actually read to you the boring e-mails that were baked, decoded, and complained about by the Chan boards and right wing grifters. It's really dull, don't fall asleep on us. Get bonus content on PatreonSupport this show http://supporter.acast.com/hellwqrld. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

| Copy link to current segment

Time Text
Før vi runder av dere så har styret besluttet å kutte lettbrus på kontoret.
I fjor brukte vi 32 000 på lettbrus på 12 ansatte.
Uforsvarlig mye, men styret.
Hva skal vi drikke da?
Det er vann i springen, si styret.
Er det du som er styret?
Ha en superuke, dere.
Hilsen styret.
Redd lettbrusen.
Bytt til Ais Bedrift.
Bedriftsabonnementet som gir dere mer for pengene.
Ais!
Rune!
Bleian!
Ja, de brukte jeg på Bailey for hun har løpet i.
Ja, men da er det jo fint at du nå får 50% medlemsrabatt på bleier hos Kopriks.
Fort gjort og stikk inn han.
Ok, hør her.
Se for deg at du er innelåst i en boks.
Her står jeg i en boks.
Jeg forstår ingenting.
Du ser ingenting, og du hører ingenting.
Bare ditt eget hjerte som slår.
Plutselig går døren opp.
Hva er det som skjer?
Eller på en scene foran publikum.
Eller langt ute på gratisen.
Hadde du turt å møte det ukjente?
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
Boxen, premiere 9. januar på TV2 Play.
Boxen, premiere 9.
The Adventures in Hellworld podcast talks in-depth about QAnon.
While it's meant to be comedic informative, sometimes we have to get into things like child abuse and violence against people.
Listener discretion advised.
Hello, everybody.
I am Mike Raines, a.k.a.
Poker and Politics, and welcome to the unbelievably exciting episode of the Pizzagate Deep Dive, where we read the boring emails.
Oh, it's going to be so good.
Please don't fall asleep.
I'm begging you not to.
Helping me read these boring emails is Haley, a.k.a.
Chaley, a.k.a.
Arizona Rightwatch.
Hello, listeners.
Happy New Year.
Go fuck yourself in the face.
Again, and then like 20 minutes later or whatever he posted, we need more positive content on X. Oh, man, that's awesome.
Just the saddest boy.
I was just thrilled that he changed his screen name to Kecchicus Maximus or whatever, and it's just, yep.
Thank God all you idiots let this shit fester under the surface for so very long and none of you dug into it.
Unlike Eric the Deep State Operative, who totally understands all the Kecchicus Maximus nonsense and is deeply invested in this stuff.
And deeply sad that I know what Kecchicus Maximus means.
Yes, exactly.
And I must have missed that.
Uh, fuck yourself in the face or whatever he said thing, because when he said that, I was like, wow, this took a dark turn real quick.
Yeah, that was, he went all Tropic Thunder on his enemies.
It was just absolutely, just the saddest, like, quoting a movie from 2008 and 2024, because that's how hip and happening you are.
Also a hip and happening person, Steph the Good Egg, who's here to join us to talk about Pizzagate.
And Steph never goes full Musk.
Never go full Musk.
No, don't.
Don't.
That's bad.
You don't win an Oscar if you go full Musk.
The full tweet, I'm going to read it.
I'm going to read it since Eric didn't know.
And that means there's some listeners that don't know.
He said...
The reason I'm in America along with so many critical people who built SpaceX, Tesla, and hundreds of other companies that made America strong is because of H-1B. Take a big step back and fuck yourself in the face.
I will go to war on this issue, the likes of which you cannot possibly comprehend.
Fuck yourself in the face, Eric.
Yeah.
I guess he figured that he's saying go fuck yourself in that interview went over so well that he'd double down on it.
Yeah.
And it's also the fact that, like, Musk is pissing off a lot of the hardcore racists.
They're like, oh, you mean you're only racist when the buck stops?
Oh, oh, okay.
That's great.
I think the consensus is that's why he did the Kekomus Maximus thing, because he's trying to say, no, no, Groypers, come back.
I don't hate, you know, I did the immigration thing, but I still hate brown people just like you.
Elon's trying to say, look, we just need slave labor for our white ethnostate.
We can have it both ways.
It's okay.
And team white ethnostate is all, fuck Elon and fuck Trump.
This is bullshit.
This is bullshit.
I didn't sign up for this.
I signed up for the moment Trump's hand touches the Bible, they start deporting the brown people.
That's what I voted for.
There was a lady, I mean, everyone dunked on her and she deserved it, but she had this post about, if Republicans go after legal immigration, I can't believe it.
I voted for Trump and this is not what I asked for.
I replied to her and screen-grabbed her and quoted it, and I just said, you voted for the guy that based Aryan 1488 was voting for.
What the fuck did you think the payoff to this election was going to be?
You didn't think they were going to fuck with legal immigration?
You didn't think they were going to go after everyone who wasn't a white?
They do.
They do.
This is just their excuse.
I'm sorry for being a cynic, but I don't think that they were like, oh, I had no idea what I was getting into!
I think this is just them trying to save face because I'm a cynic.
I don't even understand what this face-saving move is.
You're basically just saying you're a fucking moron.
Like, that's the move.
Oh, I'm so stupid.
I thought Trump didn't hate legal immigration.
How many wallet inspectors have tricked you in your life?
How many Nigerian princes have you given money to?
And also with Loomer being pissed at Musk, I'm hoping that she handcuffs herself to an exploding cyber truck.
I think the face-saving thing is it's like those same people call themselves Fiscally conservative.
It's like, no, no, I only agree with conservatives when it comes to my wallet.
Right.
I don't hate brown people.
I just want lower taxes.
Well, you want lower taxes so badly you're willing to crush brown people, so I really don't know.
You do hate brown people.
That's how that works.
It's very funny that you're willing to step over them to get a tax break.
So, yeah.
Go fuck yourself.
In the face.
Boom.
I'm so witty.
I'm as witty as Elon Musk.
Truly the wittiest, the most clever boy in all the world.
Truly.
Maybe Gropers will be okay with the H-1B visa thing if they just rebrand it as the Middle Passage.
Whatever we need.
Whatever we need to get them on board with the God Emperor's brilliant decision.
The one thing that just blows my mind I felt this in the way the entire 2024 election, and I'm going to feel it all the way through the end of Trump's time in office, is that every time he's on TV, His eyes look so vacant and dead,
and he just looks like such a sickly old man that it's truly incredible to me that all these people that spent a year screaming and howling about how Joe Biden was too feeble and he just looks like such a sickly old man that it's truly incredible to me that all these people that spent a year screaming and howling about how Joe Biden was
Literally, every interaction he has with the media is just him going, what?
What, Sonny?
Oh no, I was totally okay with that.
And no one's going to talk about it.
Whereas if Joe Biden stumbled over one word, people were running over to Kamala Harris and being like, yo, Mrs. Vice President, why are you not 25th Amendment-ing this dude?
He can't hack it.
And she looks at them and says, he got one word wrong.
He's totally there.
And they're like, no, he's not.
You need to get him out of there.
Do it up.
Do it up, lady.
Get rid of him.
And meanwhile, we're going to literally have Trump eating paste in the Oval Office.
And we're going to get glowing.
Donald Trump, with a stark reminder of our beloved childhood, strikes a chord with a common American.
Oh my God.
It is...
It's going to be really impressive, like, up until the moment when Elon and Peter Thiel and the rest of them tell the wackadoodles in the cabinet, no, it's okay to vote the 25th Amendment.
We want President Vance now.
We're okay.
You can do that now.
RFK, let the brain take control.
Let the worm take control.
Let the worm vote nay on Trump.
I will say one thing that the Trump...
What the transition team is doing right is keeping J.D. Vance under wraps so that he's not out there.
So that when they finally do 25th Amendment Trump, they can bring out Vance and hopefully people have forgotten about J.D. Vance.
That's the thing.
The breath of fresh air and not the couch fucker.
That's what's so funny to me is that if everything was on the up and up.
If Trump was just smooth sailing and life's great, the entire purpose of the Trump administration, if you're a Republican, if you're a Trump sycophant, you're just Trump, Trump, Trump.
But if you are the Republican strategist guy, you have to know that Vance is the de facto nominee in 2028 right now.
And you've got to start burnishing them.
You've got to start getting that guy all shiny and glossy and ready to go in 2028. And instead of that, they've shoved them in the closet, which is so weird.
It's such a weird thing to do.
Like, people pissed and moaned and said that one of the problems that Kamala had was that Biden didn't give her enough shine before this.
But that was a last-minute decision, that they pulled the plug on Biden and they threw her into the race.
You've got four years lead time with Trump Vance, because he's term-limited.
I know Steve Bannon was lying to the audience.
We're going to run Trump again!
Spoiler alert, both the law and Trump's health make it so you cannot do that.
But you've got a four-year lead time on running Vance, and instead of beginning with the star of the Trump administration, J.D. Vance, it's just he's in the attic, they're throwing fish heads up there for him to eat, and it's like, wow, this is...
What are you guys going to do in three years when every Democrat under the sun is running for the presidency and you're pretending Vance isn't your boy?
Is Rafael Cruz going to burst through a wall in the Kool-Aid van and be like, it's my time, baby!
I'm doing it!
Everyone's like, no, Ted, no!
Nobody wants you!
We all hate you!
Ugh.
Yeah, 2028 is going to be a free-for-all, just no matter what, because the answer's the obvious, but then there's also going to be the people who want Ivanka to run, there's going to be the people who want Cruz, there's going to be people demanding, I don't know, Lauren Boebert, because why the hell not?
Why do we get Boebert?
Anyhow, enough of all this nonsense.
You people came here for hard-hitting...
How about Alex Jones, 20, 28?
I'm okay with like, I, Honestly, honestly, honestly, and I love Steph just yanking us right back from the emails.
I'm like midway through the pitch to the emails and Steph's like, no.
No, we will not do the emails.
Go fuck yourself, Mike.
Go fuck yourself in the face.
I'm so sorry.
We're going to continue to riff.
I'm just terrible.
But no, go to the emails.
No, too late now.
We're riffing.
No, the thing that's so funny to me is that you look at the Trump template for the presidency and it's just be a famous idiot and get on TV and then talk the talk that right-wingers want you to talk and they'll support you because you're a celebrity.
I totally thought that Tucker Carlson had a great shot at 2028 and then he's just doing interviews where he's talking about being mauled by a demon.
And I'm just looking at it, and I just wish I was in Tucker's inner circle, because A, I'd bum a lot of money off of Tucker, but also B, I'd be like, yo, Tuk Tuk, what are we doing here?
We could have real power.
You could be the president.
Why are you doing interviews where you're talking about demon maulings?
How the fuck did you stray from the light so far that this is where you're at now?
Like, talking about how, yeah, I woke up one day and I was mauled by a demon.
It really hurt, but I rubbed some dirt on it, and I'm okay.
So, like, demons are, like, a level one D&D monster.
They just do a little, like, scratchy scratch, and then they run away.
Like, Satan really isn't that powerful.
Like, it's not great.
I would like the Dark Lord to be a little more powerful than that.
Well, you know, it's like...
It's like in a movie where they send the weakest mooks out first.
They start off, they drop a dark mantle on them in his sleep, and then they start working their way up to the chain devils and stuff.
Yes.
God.
Sorry, you said D&B and I just went there.
Oh, hey!
I'm currently doing this podcast under protest because I want to get back to Baldur's Gate.
So, wrapping it up, thanks everyone for listening.
Boom.
Give me money so I can play Baldur's Gate without having to talk to you people.
10 out of 10 episodes, no notes.
Yeah, no, crushed it.
Absolutely crushed it.
Anyhow, so, what happened?
With the Podesta emails is really boring emails got disseminated.
And these emails were boring.
And everyone looked at them and were like, man, this sucks.
There's nothing here.
And then QAnon was like, you know what?
I mean, the proto-QAnon, the 4chan and 8chan bakers, they started pouring over the emails and they started coming up with codes.
They started coming up with Ways to translate the emails as to being hidden crimes that were being committed by the bad people.
That if you broke them, if you broke the food code, which is what they claimed was being used here, which, man, talk about really running a huge risk where you have this ridiculous, you have this massive crime syndicate.
And your code is this very easy-to-break food code that a five-year-old could have discerned.
And that's how all of you go to jail for forever.
So perhaps in the future, do not use the easiest, dumbest code imaginable for these emails that are the crimey crimes.
The first email is the one that comes from Out of Shadows.
This is an email that, again, there's just nothing to it.
So they have to spend about 70 minutes of a 90-minute movie getting you conditioned to get upset about a turn of phrase that means nothing.
Real quick.
Out of Shadows.
Is that the Liz Kroken documentary?
Yes.
It's the Liz Kroken documentary where she only shows up in the last third because they got to get you ready for the nuttiness of Liz Kroken.
They have two stuntmen in the movie.
What's really funny is stuntman number one, Mike Smith, is the super-pilled lunatic that Liz stole all the money from.
And stuntman number two was just Mike Smith's bro who got kind of pilled, but I don't think he's been involved in any of this stuff after Out of Shadows.
Way to go, stuntman number two.
Just, like, keeping your pilledness on the low key.
He's just like, yeah, you know, being a right-wing grifter, this is not my vibe, bro.
I'm gonna just, you know, like, just post on the Chan boards and just let everyone know that I'm pilled.
But I ain't actually in it for the love of the game.
He's just in it because he believes.
And I respect that about you, stuntman number two, whose name I don't even know and will not care to learn.
But, yeah, those two guys and another grifter, they carry the movie for, like, the first hour, and then Liz pops in at the end to start screaming about Pizzagate.
And I think my favorite part of it is at the very end, Mike Smith's like, Liz doesn't sound so crazy now, does she?
And it's like, no, she does.
She sounds like she's an absolute nut.
I have no idea what you're talking about, Mike.
Nothing that she said, like, faced me in any way, shape, or form.
She had no information.
So, I don't know what you're talking about.
But anyhow, this email is the big one that they bring in on Out of Shadows.
And the entire body of this email is on January 6th, 2014 at 10, 12 p.m.
Tony Podesta wrote, Would love to get a pizza for an hour or come over.
And on Out of Shadows, they highlight the line, would like to get pizza for an hour, and then they re-highlight pizza for an hour in bold orange over the yellow.
Did you just say pizza for an hour?
Pizza for an hour.
You know what that means, don't you?
You're a fucking pedophile.
Oh my god.
You're a fucking pedophile.
That's what it means.
That's what it means.
Or maybe you're gluten or lactose intolerant and after you eat the pizza you're going to be occupied for the better part of an hour.
Or, and this is a crazy idea, maybe he meant let's sit down for an hour and have pizza.
No.
Or we're just busy people and we need to map out an hour to hang out and we're going to have a pizza during that busy hour.
You guys want to have pizza for an hour?
Boom.
Boom.
Pedarist.
Pedarist.
And that's the thing, is that Outer Shadows is basically Liz Crokin looking at a camera and screaming, no one gets pizza for an hour!
That's not how people talk!
This can only mean pedophilia!
This can only mean he wants a kid to abuse for an hour!
I had pizza for like a full hour last night.
I'm not kidding.
Like, I spent a good hour eating some pizza.
And that's about how much you need to eat pizza if you want to stuff your face.
So I agree with it.
Two hours.
I think you might even need two.
Yeah.
And the other thing about this is that after...
You would think in this email chain, if this was about child trafficking, and if this was about John Podesta requesting a child to abuse for an hour, because apparently the Illuminati have strict time limits on how much you can abuse a child for, and one hour is what you get, even when you're a high-ranking member of the Illuminati like John Podesta.
And so the next line, the next email in this chain isn't, why, yes, we will get that pizza to you right away, good sir.
Malevolent cackling emoji here, devil emoji, like, I don't know, blood emoji, whatever.
Instead, the next, the reply is, that might work, Somalia, geez.
Oh, because the reply from there was, back on 12th, but may have to go to Somalia.
Give me some dates.
MLK day.
And then another one says, no 12th for me.
And the 13th is John's hand surgery.
When are you back and for how long?
So this is literally people trying to coordinate a lunch date and finding out they can't.
Because they're too busy.
They've got a trip to Somalia.
They've got hand surgery.
There's all kinds of stuff going on.
So, no.
They will not get pizza for an hour.
That won't happen.
And the other three people in the room are riveted.
Riveted by what I've just stated.
And are just staring in slack-jawed horror.
The email was so exciting, I fell asleep.
I just, I don't, I, you know, I just don't, I don't really get how, okay, let me just say before we continue on, I don't care that this is out of order.
I was going to save it to the end, but I was watching a guy who is currently, like, kind of baking still the Podesta emails, like, he's proving that they're correct by using chat GPT to find Bizarre things that were said in these emails.
And he has to prompt the ChatGPT to basically be a true crime detective 20 years on the beat.
And they're also an investigative journalist.
And he's feeding him the emails anonymously.
Like, he doesn't have any of the info in it.
And then he's asking the ChatGPT, like, what are bizarre things in this email?
And then baking that stuff.
He's like baking the handkerchief.
A mention of a handkerchief.
Do you want to explain that, Mike?
Okay, so the handkerchief email is what most people would consider to be kind of like the weirdest email because of the fact that it is an email where someone emails one of the Podestas.
And says to them, you left a handkerchief, and I think it is pizza-themed.
What do you want me to do with the handkerchief?
And the chain basically says something to the effect of, like, yeah, I don't really care about that thing, whatever.
And...
John Potesta says, it's fine, but not worth worrying about.
Right, exactly.
Yeah, it's mine, but it's not worth worrying about.
And this is, yeah, the header is, re, did you leave a handkerchief?
And it says, hi, John, the realtor found a handkerchief.
I think it has a map that seems pizza related.
Is it yours?
It's yours with the U and the R and yours inverted.
They can send it if you want.
I know you're busy, so feel free not to respond if it's not yours or you don't want it.
And because this is a thing where it's like there's a handkerchief with a pizza theme on it, people are like, that can't be just a normal thing.
That has to be code.
Which is what makes this really funny and makes this so bizarre is that...
Originally, the story that these people were telling us is that this was quote-unquote food code.
And this all comes from the Chan boards where cheese pizza stands for child porn because it has the same initials.
So that's where the initial story comes from.
One thing to expand on that is in the Chans...
They have been using cheese pizza to stand for child porn for a long time.
So these guys notice pizza and cheese pizza being mentioned in the emails, and they go, wait a second.
That has a creepy meaning when we use it.
It can only be that he's using it for the exact same reason.
Right.
And the other thing is that cheese pizza is actually never in the emails.
Only pizza.
You can look up cheese pizza on Wikileaks and you'll get like eight hits, but if you dig through it...
The actual words, cheese pizza, never link up.
It's mostly about, like, talk about Wisconsin and their cheese, and then it's talk about some pizza-based event, like a fundraiser or a gathering where there'll be pizza.
But there's never any specificity about cheese pizza will happen in this area.
In fact, it's for Club Penguin.
That's what they were actually talking about.
Yeah.
I mean, all CP meant child porn.
Captain Picard was one Chan board code for it and all that kind of stuff.
But this is the food code, which, again, was completely made up by 4chan.
The FBI never came up with a food code thing.
That's bullshit.
The code is hotdog equal boy, pizza equal girl, cheese equal little girl, pasta equal little boy, ice cream equal male prostitute, walnut equal person of color, map equal semen, sauce equal orgy.
And I've never understood any of this because why would you as the child trafficker request semen?
What is that about?
It makes even less sense than that because the handkerchief mentions pizza map, which would mean it's semen from a girl.
Hey, we're not gay.
Suddenly it turns out that QAnon and the pizza game people are the most inclusive, diverse...
Pansexual people imaginable.
They're just like, hey, little girls can have semen.
What are you talking about?
Another part of the email that gets baked is that if you go...
The email down in the chain is from the realtor, and she describes it as being a black and white handkerchief.
So I've been searching, trying to find it, but maybe someone else has it.
There was a color code that these...
That these pizza gay people also came up with.
Yeah, I got it.
I think that one might be actually...
Okay, I'm remembering now.
It was based on handkerchiefs that gay men would wear at places to show what they were into, what kind of sex they were looking for, basically.
And so they were spreading around this chart, and somebody obviously added...
White in at the bottom to be children in order to make this black and white handkerchief thing sound like something sinister.
Yeah, what you're talking about is handkerchief code, which was a thing back in the day.
And basically, you wore the handkerchief on one side of your body to indicate that you wanted to be the...
You were going to provide it, and you'd wear it on the other side if you wanted to receive it.
So, like, a dark blue handkerchief made anal sex, and you'd, like, wear a handkerchief on one side if you wanted to fuck someone in the butt, and you'd wear it on the other side if you wanted to give up your butt for some fucking...
and so on and so forth.
Hey, hey, live your best life.
Yeah.
And MAP might actually have a legitimate use because MAP does stand for Minor Attracted Person.
That is legit, but I don't think that they're actually discussing it.
It seems like nobody in the chans did.
It had nothing to do with chan culture.
My take on this from someone who has spent their entire life shitty job, shitty work, shitty pay, and still doesn't even Those emails are suspicious to someone who is like me,
who has never been in a position of power and feels powerless and no control.
Because you look at these emails as a person in that mindset and you think, how could somebody have this busy of a life?
How could somebody be They don't have an hour for pizza.
How could someone's life be so busy and impactful that they...
People without power have a hard time comprehending that these things...
I mean, this is a group of people trying to just discuss stuff.
And you know what?
Maybe there is code.
Maybe there is code.
Recently, a bunch of QAnon nuts stumbled onto it on Etsy.
They're like, oh, why is this antique doll so expensive?
I looked it up and it's not worth that much.
It's drugs.
Maybe the handkerchiefs that they're talking about are drugs.
You know?
Come on.
That would be my first thought.
I don't want to bake.
I'm not going to think that they got it wrong and it wasn't child trafficking and the Podestos were actually running a drug ring.
No, no, no.
I'm not saying they're running a drug ring.
I'm saying when, when you're this busy of a person and you're go, go, go, go, go, go, go.
You're going to tell me Hillary never did a line?
I mean, for fuck's sake, when President Trump's fucking...
I can't believe I called him president.
When his fucking...
A list of medications came out.
I'm like, oh, I have a prescription for modafinil, too.
It's a mild stimulant.
That's what I mean.
Maybe somebody left a little baggie of Coke or some Adderall behind.
How did we get here?
I just don't understand.
There's other explanations for this and the fact that they went right to this.
My brain would have been like, This is a drug thing.
Like, there are less nefarious explanations.
And the fact that they jumped right into child trafficking, that's what blows my mind.
Just like with the Etsy thing and the Wayfair thing.
Like, if you want to think conspiracies like drugs would be the first conspiracy you would go to.
So it doesn't make sense to me as someone who had a conspiracy brain that they would go to child trafficking.
That's what I mean.
When all you have is a hammer, every problem looks like a nail.
Right.
These people are looking at everything in the context of child porn.
One other thing I noticed while you were talking was that in the email where she mentions the black and white handkerchief, the realtor also says, happy to send it via the mail if you let me know where I should send it.
Unless she's talking about putting a kid in a box.
And shipping at UPS, I don't think.
Obviously, mail is another code.
Oh, right.
It never ends, no matter how much the context debunks what they were saying.
Right, anyone who debunks a conspiracy is in on it, that whole thing.
Right, but what I was going to say before was the handkerchief code that you talked about, it had all these things, and then at the end, What you said, someone just puts in the fakest, just wedges in the fakest thing possible where it says white slash virginity slash pedo.
Now, A, the white thing isn't even in the right font.
It's not even set up in the Wikipedia.
Yeah, it's not even aligned correctly to the rest of the picture.
It's not aligned correctly.
But the other thing about this whole thing is that, again, handkerchief code is based upon giving, receiving where you're wearing the handkerchief.
There's no question what side of the bridge you're on when you're the child in a pedophilic relationship.
It's either a pedophile or a victim.
You can't wear a handkerchief to say, hey, it's like, Bob, you're 35. You can't be the child of the pedophile relationship.
You have to put your handkerchief on the other side now because you can't do that.
Even the concept of handkerchief code doesn't work when it comes to pedophilic relationships.
It's nonsense.
That's one thing that kills me about so many of these conspiracies is that they completely fall apart with two seconds worth of thinking about it.
Right, exactly.
The whole thing unravels itself immediately.
And this is, again, an email where you just have to scare yourself.
You have to invent this nonsense to freak yourself out about it.
And the other thing I've always loved about this code is, as Eric and as Steph has brought up, the big thing in these communities, the words that are the ultimate code, are cheese pizza.
And then you have this Chan-created decoder wheel for what the words actually mean.
And cheese means little girl and pizza means girl.
So if you order a cheese pizza, you're getting a little girl girl.
Which, again, it's totally incoherent.
Yeah, I think the Matt Gate texts that were exposed show that they don't really use code.
They're just kind of like, hey, hey, is that a teenager going to be there?
I'm going to pay them.
Thank you for being my friend.
$200 Venmo.
Yeah, exactly.
I'll be subtle about it.
I say, look at Jared from Subway.
He was literally propositioning girls, saying, hey, refer some of your friends to me and I'll make it worth your while.
I mean, they're not being subtle in the slightest.
And Jimmy Savile.
Jimmy, like, when I was watching that documentary, he had been basically admitting to his crimes.
In public.
On the BBC. For fucking years.
But everyone.
And I think we can all agree with this.
Everyone was like.
Who would say something like that?
So it.
And Epstein.
You know.
A lot of.
Epstein Island didn't need fucking tunnels.
That shit gets done in the sunlight.
The worst evil.
The greatest evil.
Is always done.
Right out in the open.
Yeah.
They're not subtle about it.
Like, not that, you know, a lot of the...
I mean, a lot of the Diddy stuff, too, it's like the abuse that he was involved in.
Like, he beat that one girl in the hallway of a public hotel.
It was caught on the public camera.
Like, you know, it's...
There's not code.
It's just power that insulates a lot of people for a long time.
Yeah, that's all it is.
You're not going to touch me.
I'm rich.
Yeah.
And that, this, what we're talking about here, where the allegations about there being a code, that there being hidden messages, that everything here is designed to obfuscate the child trafficking ring, that The Podestas and Hillary Clinton are running.
It kind of all gets thrown out the window when you then get to the email from Tamira Lozato.
I mean, I probably butchered her name really badly, but she sends an email to the Podestas and says, With enormous gratitude to Advance Man Extraordinaire Harbor, I am popping up again to share our excitement about the reprise of our gang's visit to the farm in Lovitzville.
And I thought I'd share a couple more notes.
We plan to heat the pool, so a swim is a possibility.
Bonnie will be Uber service to transport Ruby, Emerson, and Mauve Lozado, 11, 9, and almost 7. So you'll have some further entertainment, and they will be in that pool for sure.
And with the forecast showing prospects of some sun and a cooler temp of lower 60s, I suggest you bring sweaters or whatever.
Attire will enable us to use our outdoor table with a pregora overhead so we can dine to al fresco.
And ideally, not El Chilo!
Ribshot.
Oh, Tamara, you scamp.
You cad.
Oh, man, she's working on her type 5, even as we speak.
My favorite part of this email is that there wasn't a million emails in response to her saying, yo, yo, Tammy, Tammy, we got code here.
You can't just say you're going to bring three kids over to the pool.
You're ruining everything.
Our whole operation is going to go up in flames.
It's got to be one way or the other.
Either there's a secret code that everybody's using to hide their human trafficking.
Or everyone's just Matt Gaetz, who's like, yo, $250 and eggplant emoji, splash emoji, heart emoji, like, slash Venmo.
I mean, Tamira...
He knocked off some of his victims.
That was one thing that was getting me, was that he was like, hey, I'm a little low this week.
Can you guys just do us a favor?
Wait, did he Grand Theft Auto them?
Hei, hei dere.
Jeg tok sønnen min på jobben, for han hadde en viktig beskjed til dere.
Hva vil du si, Lukas?
Jeg er dyrt med kaffe til så mange på jobben.
Unødvendig dyrt.
Så nå betaler ikke jobben mer for kaffe.
Oi.
Hvordan skal vi få kaffe da?
Hvor skal vi få kaffe da?
Dere må ta meg selv.
Hæ?
Det!
Ja, ja, det er tøft.
Sånn er det bare, da blir det sånn dere.
Vi tar ikke med kaffen selv.
Ja, det var jo det han sa da.
Redd kaffen.
Bytt til Ais-bedrift.
Bedriftsabonnementet som gir dere mer for pengene.
Ais!
Hei hei, Kim Vigård her.
Er du også lei av briller og linser?
Da anbefaler jeg at du gjør som meg og tar øyelaser hos Memira.
Nå er jeg endelig kvitt hodepinnen og blir ikke sliten eller tørr i øynene lenger.
Det er magisk det.
Do as me and buy a free trial on Memira.no.
I do enjoy that Matt Gaetz is the sexual form of wimpy. I will gladly pay you Wednesday for a blowjob today. Just, oh man, what a... Like, bro, if you're gonna be... I don't know. I, I...
It's just like, if you're going to be doing this shit, maybe you should be using code because that's just embarrassing.
You know?
Yeah.
I just...
This, again, this email is just so bizarre because it just has nothing...
It doesn't even follow the story.
I'm not a parent, but okay, like, you know...
When I lived in Bisbee, I was babysitting for my one favorite actor's son.
So I got to understand kids.
And we're bringing kids with us.
And Eric is probably reading the same thing because he's a parent.
Bringing the kids with us.
So there will be some entertainment in quotes.
Like, get me away from these fucking kids.
I need a break.
They'll definitely be in the pool, which means we get a reprieve.
That's what that email means.
I'm not even a parent and I see that.
Yeah, you're right.
I am a parent and it sounds like some people coordinating a little get-together and there's going to be some kids there.
So, hey, look, they'll be in the pool so we can do whatever while they're in the pool.
Yeah.
And this is the whole story, is that you just have what sounds like a grandmother talking about the grandkids, and they're going to come over, and they're going to be in the pool, and they're going to frolic, and they're going to be entertainment for all the old people who are like, oh, look at those little whippersnappers.
Oh, it's adorable.
Those little kids are all running around having a good old time.
Good on them.
And the other thing about this is, again, because of the email, we know who sent it.
We know the names of the children.
Has anyone dug into this?
Has anyone asked any of these people?
Hey, Tammy, did you send your kids to be trafficked by John Modesta?
Hey, all these little kids.
Again, this was in 2014. These children are all old.
They're all over the age of 20 at this point.
Someone could be like, hey, children, were you grabbed by the Podestas?
Did that happen to you?
And if any of these citizen journalists wanted to actually do research and to look into this, they could do that.
But they won't because they know that what is actually going to happen is these people are going to say, get away from me, you freak, or I'll call the cops.
Well, they did look into Podesta and they accused him of being the person of interest in the Madeline McCann case.
Oh, yeah.
The Madeline McCann thing is a tangential thing.
We could totally go over that.
I feel like next week maybe we'll do a mailbag episode where we'll ask any people anything we missed on Pizzagate, anything like that.
Let us know.
We'll get in on it.
We'll try to cover it.
And that'll be the goal there.
And yeah, and the baking on the McCain kidnapping, that was one of the offshoots of this, is that the Podestas, their crimes were not limited merely to Comet Ping Pong.
They were also kidnapping kids in Europe, because that's what the Podestas do.
They're just globe-trotting vampires seeking to drain the blood of children everywhere.
Is that the one where it turned out the kids weren't even kidnapped?
No, McKeen was kidnapped.
Okay, this is a different one I'm thinking of, because there was one where it was a picture of some woman with her daughter or something, and then these people were saying, oh, this kid had been kidnapped and sexually trafficked, and it turned out the girl in the picture hadn't even been kidnapped, let alone trafficked.
There was some of that during the Wayfair era.
Infamous kind of video of one of the girls that did get wrapped into the baking of Wayfair.
You know how some of the furniture had names that looked like girls' names?
And they were like, oh, this girl was kidnapped.
And it's like, she was one of the victims.
And that girl came out with a video and actually was like, I'm not kidnapped.
Leave me alone.
And it kind of spiraled because more people...
Like, started to blame her and be like, oh, she was put up to saying she's not kidnapped.
She's definitely a victim of Wayfair.
I'm not kidnapped is exactly what a kidnapping victim would say.
So, yeah, I do remember that in the Wayfair era, which is, like, semi-related.
It's all kind of tied together.
It's a string.
Yeah, Wayfair was like Pizzagate 2.0.
Absolutely, yeah.
It was just going back to that well.
Dropping that bucket down the hole again and trying to pull up some more water because that's what...
Child trafficking, child kidnapping, all that kind of stuff.
It's catnip for these people because they love the idea of quote-unquote saving the children and all that stuff.
Being able to just say, oh yeah, this kid got kidnapped.
And there's a police sketch of like the two alleged kidnappers and people try to make them.
And it's just two generic looking white guys.
And it's like, oh, look, it's the Modesta brothers, which I love the idea of that because it's the idea that the Modesta brothers are these like hot shot, high level Democrat Illuminati operatives.
But also they are doing the kidnappings themselves by their own hand.
They're grabbing the kid off the streets themselves.
Yeah, it's like the guys who said that Hillary Clinton personally murdered Seth Rich.
Right!
All I'm imagining is...
I'm just imagining a cutscene in a video game or the dramatic moment in a movie where Seth Rich is just walking down the street and then suddenly the camera just shifts and you see Hillary behind him and you just hear her saying, I know it was you, Seth.
I know you're the one who hacked the DNC emails.
And then he, like, pivots and turns.
He's like, Hillary, I don't know what you're talking about.
She's just like, cut the crap, Seth.
And then after they have, like, their heated conversation, she just, like, pulls out her $75,000 handgun because she's, like, rich and super evil.
And then she just pops him twice in the chest and calls it a day.
And there needs to be a catchphrase.
There needs to be a catchphrase.
Like, leak this.
And then, boom.
Boom.
And then slow motion, like, point of view from the bullet.
And we kind of do a little Matrix bullet time slows down and credits.
Well, she's got to bring up Arkenside.
He's the latest victim of Arkenside.
That's what it's all about, baby.
But...
We'll figure it out.
We'll workshop it for next week.
I just...
It's just that...
Nonsense.
Where, I mean, Hillary's in the cell breaking Jeffrey Epstein's neck.
She's the one shooting Seth Rich.
She's murdering Vince Foster.
They just love the idea of their enemies being both spineless cowards who hide in the shadows and also are hyper-murderous, bloodthirsty psychopaths who attack everyone in their field of vision.
Right, just like how Antifa are a bunch of scared cowards who are also highly skilled super soldiers who are burning down entire cities with their bare fists.
Yes.
Oh, yeah.
That's how this works.
This is the insanity of these people.
So, we've done pizza for an hour, and we've talked about the handkerchief, and I don't know how you haven't drifted into the arms of Morpheus yet, because again, listening to an old lady talk about her small children getting into a pool, oh my god, riveting, truly terrifying.
This one is another one that these people love to bring up because it involves Moloch, their favorite evil god.
So I'm going to read this email, and then we will get to the big payoff of it all, which is the email.
Beal called me a little after 1.30 to say the meeting with the de facto envoys had abruptly been canceled, but perhaps for a positive reason.
Micheletti had asked about half the team to report to Tecacolipa.
I have no idea.
Whatever.
Just roll with me.
Words are bad.
In the phone call he got from the de facto envoys as they headed for the airport, Beal detected a positive attitude.
The envoys seemed confident they would get M to sign the SJ Accord.
The envoys promised to call Beal late this afternoon with the news from Honduras.
If, if, if, if the news is positive, Beal and OAS political director Victor Rico will leave for Tapagalia tomorrow morning to meet Micheletti and make sure this is not another time-wasting.
Just before speaking to me, Beal had spoken with Arias, who expressed cautious optimism that we might have a breakthrough.
Arias told Beal to tell us that if this happens, the United States will get credit.
Areas said the U.S. has played the game exactly right with the appropriate mix of carrots, sticks, toughness, unified message, even-handedness, and above all else, good timing.
Areas said the Europeans have been calling him over the past two days and have fallen into line with the U.S. The Swedes, as head of the EU, have told him they will take their cue from the U.S. and support U.S. actions.
Areas, Peel said, was extremely complimentary of the great political instincts shown by Secretary Clinton.
Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba, unclassified document.
With fingers crossed, the old rabbit foot out of the box in the attic, I will be sacrificing a chicken in the backyard to Moloch.
So this is talk about some foreign policy issue that appears to be going well, and that on top of all of that, Hillary Clinton's getting some shine for it working out well.
And that this guy is going to break out all the good luck charms he can find.
And one of his efforts to obtain good luck is going to be to sacrifice a chicken to Moloch.
And that is that.
Now the problem for all these people who are screaming about Satanism!
This guy is obviously a blood-drinking Luciferian.
Evil, Democrat, liberal, monster, blah, blah, blah person is that the guy who sent this is Louis Absalom.
I'm probably getting his last name wrong.
And his Twitter handle is at the diplomat.
It's like diplomat, but he's mad instead.
And when you look at it, his bio on Twitter is XFSO, proud, deplorable, conservative libertarian, love my Kimber, Nighthawk, Wilson, and my IKEA, skeptic after 34 years at State Department, blogger, American flag emoji.
This guy loves Trump.
His top tweet right now is from Defiant L's Trump Can't Win 2024 compilation.
He says, I will not be singing at Trump's inauguration.
I thought you should know that.
And yeah, this guy's a maggot show.
He was on Hillary's opposition team.
He was there to offer the Republican view of things in the State Department.
He was there to say he was here to pour cold water on the crazy liberals ideas.
He was not a Hillary Clinton pom pom waving fanboy who was on the campaign.
This guy is a Republican and a Trumper and a MAGA guy.
So he's.
How dare you suggest that a Trumper and a MAGA guy can't be a Goat-sacrificing worshiper of Moloch.
Yeah, they're a big tent group.
They take all types.
Yeah.
He has a tweet from the 29th.
Jimmy Carter, I entered the foreign service with him as president and left it with Obama as president.
Two horrendous bookends to my service.
That's hilarious.
That's a hilarious tweet.
I like that.
So, again, this is your ultra-liberal chicken sacrificer.
This is that guy.
This is the guy that sacrificed the chicken.
He loves Donald Trump.
He fucking hates Barack Obama.
And he took a piss on Jimmy Carter's corpse as quickly as he could after Carter died.
So, I mean, just...
These people hate context.
They hate actually knowing what...
Who actually said the thing that they're so upset about?
I actually had one Lunatic Pizzagate guy argue with me about this, and I said, hey, and I may have posted his Twitter handle, go talk to him.
He's the guy.
And he's like, yeah, I know, he blocked me because I yelled at him.
And I was like, yeah, if I was a Republican, I'd be fucking annoyed at all the idiot Pizzagaters calling me a...
Like, child trafficking pederast, too.
I would be like, yay, fuck off.
I actually hated Hillary Clinton.
I actually hate all these people.
I was just happy that I work at State Department and there was a lot of...
We were working on something and we got a break.
It all worked out.
So, I mean, just that was what actually happened in that email.
It was someone that these people will never actually bring up who said it.
Because to do that would ruin the fun.
It's not John Podesta.
It's not Hillary Clinton.
It's not a bad guy.
It's someone they would consider to be a good guy.
And we can't be having that because that would ruin everything.
And, you know, nobody ever jokes about sacrificing a chicken or anything like that.
Right.
Leave them alone.
Especially people who are intolerant of other religions.
Who would ever mock someone else's religion?
Right.
I mean, pretty soon the all-health weirdos are going to start telling me that sacrificing chickens is the only pure way to eat a chicken, so I don't know what we're making a big deal out of anymore.
Well, we're getting there.
We're getting there.
Oh, yeah.
We did an episode about raw milk, the raw milk phenomenon.
And that's causing an outbreak because the turning point people are obsessed with raw milk to the point where they're like, it will cure autism.
It will cure all your chronic illness.
You have cancer because you're not drinking raw milk.
And I think it would be a hilarious episode.
And they're causing a health outbreak now.
Yay!
We'll have to get that girl from Harvard.
We'll have to get Giggly on the pod.
If I can jump on my soapbox for a second, because I mentioned this on Twitter recently, I hate it when people talk about curing autism like it's a disease or something that's wrong with somebody.
Okay, I'll just say we're tangenting real quick because AmericaFest was...
We didn't record last week, so we haven't talked about AmericaFest.
All health stuff, pseudo-health bullshit.
It was one of the main things at AmericaFest.
And there was an outbreak.
Jonathan and I weren't the only ones that got sick in that area.
I threw up the day after we got home.
And we were just having gastro issues the whole time.
I know a lot of people that got sick from AmericaFest from going in.
And I also got incredibly sick.
And yeah, if you saw the stuff on the floor where they sell you stuff, it was a lot of pseudo-health bullshit and there was a lot of claims of quote-unquote curing autism, curing immune diseases, which is just like all fake health bullshit.
Interesting times.
But yeah, unrelated to this, but you know, still kind of related.
And how surprising that a whole bunch of people who don't believe in medical technology get everyone else sick when they get together.
Oh yeah, no kidding.
Just shocker.
Total shocker.
They're just taking us back to the Stone Ages.
It's incredible.
It's really awesome.
I mean, we just have...
All of these people fighting vaccines, fighting pasteurization.
We're going to have an attack on germ theory in the mainstream soon enough.
We're going to get back to diseases being caused by curses and witchcraft.
And you need to sacrifice a chicken to cure it.
We're going to pivot.
The chicken sacrificing is actually good.
Lewis is going to be redeemed.
God, it's all going to come out.
It's all going to work.
Well, for being biblical, it's going to have to be like a goat or a bull.
You know, a chicken won't do it.
Yeah.
So, now, get ready for another email that is positively scandalous and absolutely terrifying.
And this is an email.
And now...
The first thing about this email is that this is not a Podesta email.
This is a company called Stratford that also got attacked by a phishing hack and got a bunch of emails stolen.
And WikiLeaks just threw it up on their website because they were just throwing shit at a wall and they just wanted people to look at anything they could get their hands on.
And this email is, if you look at the chain, it's literally the most boring inner office bullshit where people are like, hey everybody, we're going to have a hot dog party upcoming.
It's going to be a great time and I hope everybody attends because we're just, you know, just chilling and having a good one.
Just nothing but good vibes at the Stratford offices and Stratford HQ and just, you know, everyone just wants to have a good little day at work.
And Fred Burton, who I'm ruining the joke.
I'm killing the bit, but I'm going to let you know a little secret, everybody.
Fred Burton, the guy who wrote this email, much like our boy from the last email.
A conservative.
This guy was in Governor Perry's cabinet in Texas back when Rick Perry was the governor there.
This is a conservative.
This is a guy that lives in those circles and has rubbed shoulders with the powerful elites of the Republican Party.
And our boy Fred, in response to the happy everybody hot dog party email, I think Obama spent about $65,000 of the taxpayers' money flying in pizza slash dogs from Chicago for a private party at the White House not long ago.
Assume we are using the same channels, which if you're looking at that from the Liz Kroken mindset, the guy is literally saying, I remember when Obama was trafficking children, are we using the same child traffickers as Obama?
Because I don't want my children trafficked by low-quality child traffickers.
I want to make sure that we have excellent child trafficking services here.
If they're not in contact with Epstein, I don't want to deal with them.
Thank you, good sirs.
One thing, because you reminded me when you were talking about this, this email was not...
In the Podesta emails.
Yeah.
It was a completely different email chain.
Alex Jones claimed it was a Podesta email in order to promote it.
Right.
Yes, the Stratford emails.
Yeah.
It has nothing to do with the Podesta emails.
Absolutely nothing.
It was called the...
Yeah, Stratford email.
It was part of the global intelligence files.
That was the...
That was the cache of emails that it was leaked out of.
Yeah, that sounds right.
That sounds like something really pretentious that you can use to try to get a dumb joke about liberals being wasteful with taxpayer money and turn it into...
A bit that Liz Kroken has now been running for like eight years now.
She cannot stop talking about, hey, remember when Obama flew those $65,000 worth of hot dogs into the White House?
And it's like, Liz, it wasn't Obama and all this.
And what Fred is actually misremembering is that it wasn't like dogs and pizza.
What actually happened early in Obama's presidency was that he flew in a chef to cook pizza the way he wanted it cooked.
And the scandal was that he flew in a chef from St. Louis, not from Chicago, because Obama's from Chicago.
So people were all, oh, this motherfucker, he...
Isn't getting a Chicago deep dish chef into the White House to do Chicago pizza the right way, he's getting some out-of-towner to cook him his pizzas.
A sin.
Yes, it's a sin.
As a Chicagoan, I will say I'm outraged to hear that he picked a chef from St. Louis.
And let me just say, show me the birth certificate for that chef.
You want to see if he's actually from St. Louis?
Yes.
Yeah, there's like a 2009 article from the Huffington Post, Obama bringing St. Louis, not Chicago, pizza chef to the White House.
And it's pretty obvious the guy said hot dogs and pizza because that's two things that Chicago's known for food-wise.
Right.
Chicago-style hot dogs and Chicago-style pizza.
I mean, if anything was actually from here, you might have thrown Italian beef in there, but I don't think anybody outside of Chicago actually knows what Italian beef is.
I don't know what Italian beef is.
There you go.
I think it's code for child trafficking, so, I mean...
I was just going to say Italian beef.
Yeah, Italian beef, infant boys.
There you go.
Boom!
Decode.
Stick decode.
So this is literally the dumbest joke.
It is the most hack bit that any conservative does when whining about liberals.
And because it fits the Pizzagate narrative, they...
Freak out about it, and they pretend like this guy actually has any inside source to the Obama White House, which he doesn't, because, again, he's a Republican.
And he's just talking shit about the chef being flown in.
To see Obama and cook the pizza the way he wanted him to.
Right.
It's a bog-standard joke about liberals and wasteful spending.
Right.
It's literally that.
It's these fucking liberals are letting my money...
My hard-earned money is going up Obama's nose so he can get a pizza and hot dogs from his hometown.
This fucking horse shit.
They don't know what it's like to live paycheck to paycheck.
And it's like, shut up.
You're a goddamn fucking lawyer who works for Governor Perry.
You're not hurting.
You're not in any trouble.
Calm down.
So yeah, this is literally a joke so lame and so tired that even at a Republican rally, it would bomb.
The guy would tell the joke and maybe a couple people would laugh.
Someone in the crowd would be like, shut up, you suck!
and then the guy would be like, man, tough crowd, tough crowd.
So this is the second of – again, we've gone over a few emails because, again, there's so little in any of these emails that they've had to go digging to find something.
And this is two of these emails that are so controversial and so scandalous.
That were written by Republicans.
That were written by people who hate Obama.
Who hate Hillary.
One of which wasn't even in the Podesta email leak.
Right, and this one's not even a Podesta email.
It's literally just an email that was on the WikiLeaks website and had Obama's name in it and a food reference.
And they were like, oh shit, we fucking got him!
We fucking got him!
And they looped it in.
They looped it into the Podesta emails.
So in Pizzagate universe, in the Pizzagate mythology, all people in all walks of life use food code when they're human trafficking children.
That's just how it works.
Like, if you're anywhere in the world and you're like, I need to traffic a kid, food ideas just pop into your head magically.
It just becomes an unconscious thought.
But I could totally see Alex Jones, like, pounding some ADHD meds and then going on WikiLeaks, typing in Obama and reading every single link that comes up.
Oh, yeah.
I mean, that's what you got to do in this situation.
You're striving for content.
You're desperate.
So this is how it operates.
I mean, this is all these people do.
And since we've gone over an hour, we'll wrap it up here with the final email of just absolute...
This one's the big one.
This one's the absolute winner because it is the great evil.
The Satan of these people's movements, Marina Abramovich, emailing Tony Podesta and saying, I am so looking forward to the spirit cooking dinner at my place.
Do you think you'll be able to let me know if your brother is joining?
All my love, Marina.
And then at the bottom it says, Abramovich LLC. I love that she's turned her last name into a corporation.
And, oh, spirit cooking!
Which, again, it's a dumb book.
It's a dumb book of dumb poems and nonsense.
It's not a way to summon demons.
It's not a plot to traffic children.
It's a book.
I remember seeing a post from 4chan from the guy who first found that spirit cooking email where it's painfully obvious he has no idea what's going on because he's like, spirit cooking?
What could that possibly be?
Yeah, Torstein, kanske du kan break the news.
Nei, altså, Simon, du og jeg hadde jo et ledemøte, og der sa jo du noe smart.
Ja, det var jo kommet til et spareforslag fra deg, Torstein.
Ja, at du sa det var noen bekymring om at frukten har blitt så dyrt.
Jeg hørte at det har gått opp med 15 prosent.
Det var jo du som sa, Torstein.
Ja, men du sa jo at...
Hallo, vent litt.
Får vi ikke mer frukt?
Oi, det...
Ja, kanskje ikke noe dum i det, altså.
Nei, men da har Lise bestemt da at frukten forsvinner.
Dessverre.
Dessverre.
Redd frukten.
Bytt til oisbedrift.
Bedriftsabonnementet som gir dere mer for pengene.
Heis!
Rune!
Bleian!
Ja, de brukte jeg på Bailey, for hun har løpet i.
Ja, men da er det jo fint at du nå får 50% medlemsrabatt på bleier hos Koprix.
Yeah.
Oh my god.
Just the dumbest children.
Yeah, like three seconds of research turns out, oh, it was, you know, she was trying to promote spirit cooking, John Podesta agreed to host a dinner for her to promote it.
End of story.
Yep, that's all it was.
That's all it was.
Just the silliest nonsense.
Oh, and that's one thing, I think we're the...
I think one place where the food thing comes in from is because John Podesta talks about food a lot in the emails.
He's always talking about pasta and stuff, and, you know, these guys are trying to find sincere implications for it, but the thing is, he's a foodie.
He's an Italian boy who loves making himself some pasta, and he loves sharing recipes and talking about exotic places he's been to and the cool foods that he's had while he's there.
He's just, he's a food nerd.
And these people are trying to, like, no, no, no, it can't be that.
It's got to be something sinister.
Yeah, it can't.
There's another email.
I literally popped him in my head right now, and I don't know that I can find it on WikiLeaks very quickly, but it's just talking.
It's like Podesta talking about how he's like, man, I really miss your hot dog standout in Hawaii, and blah, blah, blah.
And people were like, oh, yeah.
And it's like, he probably knows a hot dog standout in Hawaii.
Yeah, I know what you're talking about too, but yeah, I'm drawing a blank on the specifics too.
Right, but it's just getting angry about a guy talking.
I remember now.
It was this whole thing, John Podesta's brother, whatever his name is, he had this gag that he would do when he was talking to interviewers, when they would ask him, what's your brother going to do after the election is over?
And he would say, oh, John's dream is to set up a hot dog stand in Hawaii.
It was just this silly joke he came up with that he would tell interviewers all the time.
And so other people would say to John, oh, I can't wait to see your hot dog stand in Hawaii.
Yeah.
Yeah, exactly.
It's a bit.
He was doing a bit, and as a result of that bit, now people are like, oh, God, pederast.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, they're just the...
This is a warning to you listeners.
Never do bits.
Right.
Don't make jokes about Obama spending money on hot dogs.
Don't make jokes about hot dog stands in Hawaii.
That's one of the things really about conspiracy theorists is that they have no sense of humor whatsoever.
They can't believe that anything happens by random chance and they also can't accept that human beings make jokes about things.
Yeah.
That's the thing.
Everything has to be literal.
Everything has to be an honest statement about what the intent of these people is.
When a guy talks about breaking out a rabbit's foot and sacrificing a chicken to Moloch in the backyard, they mean it.
He means he's doing that.
When this guy is talking about...
Obama paying $65,000 to fly and not dogs and pizza to the White House.
He means it.
It wasn't a joke.
It really happened.
Just everything has to be taken absolutely literally.
It's the most ridiculous thing in the world.
And then...
After you have created this fake reality where no one's ever telling a joke, no one's not being, no one is doing anything not literally, then you get yourself upset about it.
Then you performatively get outraged about it.
Because that's the Out of Shadows video of Liz Broken screaming at the camera, who gets pizza for an hour?
And it's like busy people, Liz.
It's busy people.
That's who gets people for an hour.
That's actually something I've seen that was brought up.
It was in reference to the TV shows like Ancient Aliens where they said the problem with debunking these things is that the guys selling conspiracy theories, they're so hyped about it and they're so passionate and excited.
And then the debunker comes in and he's like, well, you see, the actual story is this.
And it's like people are tuning him out because...
He's boring.
The suculose with the crazy hair is so much more interesting to listen to.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah, they 100%.
That's the setup.
You want to make sure that the guy pitching the bullshit is the captivating...
And then you want to make sure that the guy who's there to quote-unquote provide balance is just a dishrag.
Just this absolutely dull-as-fuck bellend who just comes in and is like, well, actually, they would have needed a nuclear reactor to generate that much power, and it's no.
And then everyone's like, snooze, you suck.
I want the guy that does the hand thing and says aliens.
That's what it's all about right here.
That's what I'm doing.
Those people are still on tour.
Like last year, I think I said it to you, Mike, that the ancient alien guys were on tour here.
I think I saw a billboard around here for them.
I have no doubt that the ancient alien guys spend a lot of time in Arizona.
That's got to be like Mecca to them.
All the Sedona stuff and everything.
Sedona, and there's just a lot of alien-like light conspiracies here.
And it's a short car drive over to Roswell.
That's true.
Yeah.
So, any final thoughts, commentary, questions from the crew?
I'm still blown away that this whole thing happened because of a goddamn typo.
Yep.
In an email that Podesta got from saying, yeah, this phishing attempt looks legitimate.
Oops, I meant to say illegitimate.
I'm personally pilled.
I got pilled.
I believe the emails.
I think it's proof of a bigger conspiracy about child trafficking.
I'm sold.
I'm glad you say that because I've actually been secretly working with Groypers this whole time.
I was planted here for the last month in order to pill you, Hayley.
Oh, okay.
It worked.
I'm convinced.
It honestly wasn't the emails.
It was the chat GPT guy that's been baking stuff.
The emails are just to soften you up and get you ready to accept the truth.
Yep.
The chat GPT was in the money shirt.
That's what it's all about.
That's what it's all about.
Oh, man.
So that wraps up what I do believe.
I mean, I think that we showed you the emails.
We read you the emails.
We conveyed what actually was said in the emails to you, the listener.
And if you rolled your eyes in crippling boredom, I'm with you.
Because...
This is, honestly, to me, like meeting Xenu in Scientology, which, man, what a bow I'm putting on this, reaching back to the Scientology reference at the start of this whole thing.
I don't even know if we did that on air.
If we did, then, wow, this is awesome.
And if not, then, boy, everyone's listening to this going, wow, Mike just lost his mind.
But I promise you we talked about Scientology at some point.
Yeah, we did mention Scientology.
And Xenu, honestly, is way more interesting a story than this was.
Yeah, I mean, that's the thing, is that Xenu is obviously the dumbest shit in the universe, and then you have Pizza Game.
Literally the dumbest shit in the universe.
Yes.
Oh, man.
So, this is the source material.
This is what I always talk about when people tell me, oh, you need to read the Q-drops.
I'm like, I wish everyone would.
Because if you read the Q-drops, you wouldn't believe in QAnon because Q gets everything wrong.
There's no information distributed.
It's a joke.
That's another thing conspiracy theorists like to do.
They avoid specifics whenever possible.
They'll tell you, read the Q-drops.
They won't tell you which one.
They won't tell you 1, 2, 4, 5 is the one that'll change your life forever.
No, it's just read and keep reading until you believe me.
Right.
Just go down the rabbit hole, read everything, and then hopefully one thing in there will resonate with you and make you think that I'm right.
And that's the goal.
That's the only thing they're going for there.
And if you read these emails without being prompted, without being primed to see them in a way different, than what they actually are.
If you just read them straight, you would never take them for being nefarious.
You would never think that there was anything criminal or evil about them.
But if you watch Out of Shadows and you get primed for 70 minutes, then Liz Crokin starts screaming at you and you think, well, maybe she's got a point because why would the lady be screaming at me if she didn't have a point?
But she doesn't.
None of these people have a point.
The emails are absolutely boring as shit and have nothing related to a child trafficking network.
So, boom, we did it.
We nailed it.
We're the best episode ever.
Take that.
Thank you all for listening.
If you want to support the show, give a five-star review wherever you listen to.
If you want to give us money, go to patreon.com slash book for politics and send me money.
I will take it from you.
I will cherish it.
If you don't want to give money to a bunch of morons on the internet, give money to love146.org.
They sent me a Christmas envelope thanking me for doing the money back in the day and asking for more money even now.
Love146.org is fighting child trafficking around the globe.
They're doing the hard work that QAnon won't do.
If you're looking for Haley, Steph, or Eric, they're all on Twitter and other various social media platforms.
They're hanging out.
If you're looking for me, I am also there.
And also, if you want to listen to me talking about football with a bunch of ladies who have varying levels of knowledge of the sport from none to a lot, you can listen to the Chicks with Picks podcast.
It's hilarious, I promise.
It's even more entertaining than this because we don't have a depressing thing to talk about other than Aaron Rodgers because that guy kind of sucks.
Thank you to DJ Minimal Effort for giving us our original theme, and then I remixed it by accident.
Thank you to Frosty for all of our bumps.
Thanks to anybody else I haven't thanked.
Thanks to my co-host for being a part of this show.
Thank you for listening to this show.
Good speed, Patriots.
Good speed, Patriots.
For short and stick in on.
Hi, hi. hi.
Kim Vigård here.
Er du også lei av briller og linser?
Da anbefaler jeg at du gjør som meg og tar øyelaser hos Memira.
Nå er jeg endelig kvitt hodepinnen og blir ikke sliten eller tørr i øynene lenger.
Det er magisk det.
▲
Export Selection