This week Mitch Quits, Trump is very upset people think he didn't remember his wife's name and Boebert's kid goes on a crime spree. It's another jolly romp through HellwQrld. Get bonus content on PatreonSupport this show http://supporter.acast.com/hellwqrld. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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| Thanks for watching. | |
| I am Mike Rands, a.k.a. | |
| PokerandPolitics, and welcome to another episode of Adventures in Hellworld. | |
| This week, I'm joined, as always, by Haley, a.k.a. | |
| to talk about all kinds of child abuse and violence against people. | |
| Listener discretion advised. | |
| Hello, everybody, I am Mike Rands, a.k.a. | |
| Poker and Politics, and welcome to another episode of Adventures in Hellworld. | |
| This week, I'm joined as always by Haley, a.k.a. | |
| Arizona Right Watch. | |
| Hello, listeners. | |
| Um, happy, uh, February 28th. | |
| That's the date. | |
| That's it. | |
| That's the date. | |
| I couldn't think of anything. | |
| I looked at my computer. | |
| I was like, there's the date. | |
| Boom. | |
| This is one day before Leap Year. | |
| One day before Leap Day. | |
| Oh, that's true! | |
| That's magical. | |
| Yes. | |
| I'm also joined by the mysterious Elle. | |
| Yes, happy nearly day of Leap, my beautiful babies. | |
| Yes. | |
| 30 Rock fans of the world rejoice. | |
| Once every four years, we get to celebrate the day of Leap. | |
| Put on your blue Nilo, and if you cry at me, I will give you candy. | |
| That's right. | |
| That's right, beautiful babies. | |
| I guarantee that on leap day, if you can find me out in the wilderness and you cry at me, you will get your candy, as you have proven yourself to be a cool person with good taste. | |
| I had a coworker ask me if I put up my Leap Day decorations, and I was just like, man, this has to be a bit you're doing. | |
| And they just sort of chuckled about the fact that they're just really into Leap Day. | |
| And I was like, okay, I accept it. | |
| Yeah, dude, have you even gotten your rhubarb? | |
| I have not. | |
| I did not know I should do such a thing. | |
| Yeah, man. | |
| You have to wear blue and yellow. | |
| Otherwise, somebody can punch you or pinch you. | |
| I think it's pinch. | |
| Like the classic tradition. | |
| And you're supposed to traditionally eat a fresh rhubarb. | |
| And it's a bonus day. | |
| It's a day of celebration, baby. | |
| It's a bonus day. | |
| You're supposed to, like, take chances and live bold. | |
| Because it's like a freebie day. | |
| It's the Mulligan Day. | |
| If you catch it on Gable, you get to watch Leap Dave Williams starring Jim Carrey. | |
| This is Leap Dave Williams. | |
| Or Leap Dave Williams, sorry. | |
| According to Wikipedia, it is the feast for St. | |
| John Cassian. | |
| So we're still in feast mode. | |
| Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes Right. | |
| Which is fair. | |
| That show is considered problematic today, and if anybody ever wants to pull my liberal card for 30 Rock, I'm here to tell them that will be the day that I become libertarian. | |
| Don't challenge me. | |
| I'll fucking make that call. | |
| I'll die on this hill. | |
| Oh man, I just love libertarianism just for the whole idea of it's like, I'm all about freedom and people having the right to do whatever they want. | |
| And it's like, so you're basically kind of a Democrat because they're the freedom party for everything except guns. | |
| And then you're just like, nope. | |
| I'm actually just a stealth Republican. | |
| See, they're either stealth Republicans or people who, like, self-identify as liberal but want to hedge their bets by giving themselves it out to have some, like, opinions that liberals would fucking tear them apart for, which I totally get. | |
| So, you know, if 30 Rock ever becomes so toxic that I have to go libertarian in order to be with the right tribe, then I will. | |
| And I'll buy a gun, and then I'll have a cabin with a gun, and I'll watch 30 Rock there. | |
| Fucking don't come on my property or I'll shoot you to death. | |
| Which is also something I associate with libertarians. | |
| Which is weird, right? | |
| It's just people who want to live off-grid. | |
| When they buy a gun, it's either for apocalypse bunker-building, end-of-the-world-style shit, or genuinely to protect their shabby cabin in the woods from the CIA and the off-chance, you know? | |
| That's one of my favorite things about all kinds of conspiracy theorists when they're like posting their spicy memes online. | |
| They're just like, my FBI handler's getting pills reading all the stuff I'm writing. | |
| It's like, there's no one following you. | |
| Nobody cares about you. | |
| There's no FBI agent going, oh man, I've been monitoring these people, but they speak so much truth. | |
| What do I do? | |
| What do I do? | |
| As like, Slowly, the FBI is getting pilled by monitoring them. | |
| And it's like, no, you're just posting. | |
| You're just literally howling into the void. | |
| That's all you're doing. | |
| And if you manage to make it a little further up the food chain, you're howling into the void now with a small audience of like-minded lunatics. | |
| We're like, yeah, bro, you got this! | |
| Get him! | |
| Get him with your spicy memes! | |
| You're the greatest! | |
| And it's like, oh my God. | |
| Speaking of the food chain, let's talk about a fast food chain, because we're not technically in The Boosh and this has nothing to do with QAnon or conservatives or fucking anybody, but I do want to talk about it. | |
| How about that terrible Wendy's decision they're already backpedaling on? | |
| Like, that- who the fu- like, which bean counter at Wendy's told them to announce that before they focus tested at all? | |
| By which I mean- I've seen memes about this. | |
| Like, just go into a room with 20 people and be like, hey, imagine if a fast food chain charged a surcharge price for their food. | |
| And everyone in the room would universally just be like, that sounds fucking horrible. | |
| It's just a gadget. | |
| 20 out of 20 people, 200 out of 200 people, 2 million out of 2 million people agree. | |
| That sounds fucking terrible. | |
| Nobody likes that. | |
| Why would anybody want that? | |
| Yeah, so surge pricing, for those of you who might not know about this, is basically a scam that rideshare companies use where if you're getting out of a concert or a football game or it's like a really busy time in a city, you pay way more for your Uber or your Lyft than you would if it was a quieter off-peak time. | |
| And Wendy's psychotically made the statement that they're going to experiment with surge pricing where it's like, When we have 12 cars in the drive-thru, suddenly the price for food is just going to go up, because you all want Wendy's now, so you all got to pay. | |
| And it's just, no, this is ridiculous. | |
| There's nobody who's going to abide by this. | |
| I would just leave. | |
| Right, exactly. | |
| There's one out next door, and next to that is a Chick-fil-A, and next to that is another Whataburger that isn't currently doing surge pricing because they're not busy. | |
| So I'm going to go ahead and go. | |
| Yeah, there's two Wendy's that I know of that I can frequent. | |
| One is near my house and the other one's near where I work. | |
| The Wendy's near my home is literally directly next to a Burger King, a Taco Bell, Flip the Bird, which is like a local version of Chick-fil-A, and a McDonald's. | |
| So there are four fast food joints within walking distance of those, of the Wendy's. | |
| And the Wendy's near my work, Across the street from that Wendy's is a Burger King. | |
| And slightly down the road, like maybe a quarter mile, there's a McDonald's. | |
| And there's also a Five Guys in that area also. | |
| So it's just like, I have options. | |
| I would never pay your search pricing in a million years Wendy's. | |
| Never not once. | |
| I would, you could not make me do that. | |
| Is anyone here a fan of Wendy's even? | |
| Is anyone a big fan here of Wendy's? | |
| I think Wendy's, I mean, of the quote-unquote Big Three, like the original Big Three, I do think Wendy's is the best food. | |
| But I don't, like, I'm not champing it a bit to go to Wendy's. | |
| And also the Big Three are not the only players in the market anymore, like it's expanded a lot. | |
| Right. | |
| Like, Five Guys would be the windmill slam dunk grand champion of them all if their fucking food wasn't, like, 40% more expensive than it should be for the amount you get. | |
| Unless you're talking about their french fries, in which case they will kill you with those fries. | |
| Thank you for the extra fries. | |
| I love that they give you extra fries. | |
| I love the extra fries, but then, like, I've never had a burger from Five Guys and been like, man, I'm satisfied after that. | |
| Like, that was enough burger for me. | |
| Exactly. | |
| I mean, like, and then the thing is, is that me and Elle are big boys. | |
| So we're getting like the double, we're probably getting the double patty burgers when we go there. | |
| And I still, after I'm done eating it, I'm just like that, like, it's so weird because McDonald's can do like a double quarter pounder. | |
| And that's like an actual giant burger. | |
| Like if you want like the big burger, you can actually get that from like, Whatever additive nonsense they have at one of those chicken sandwich meals from Wendy's or whatever, whatever they're putting in it that is not the good, good stuff that you get at Five Guys, it does fill me up more. | |
| Economically, I'd much rather go to a place like Wendy's if I just want a quick lunch that I don't want to spend $20 for, you know? | |
| Right, but the quality of the food at Five Guys is better because it's cooked to order, and again they give you a mountain of fries. | |
| So it's just one of these things where it's trade-offs, but none of those other places are telling me, we're just gonna mug you when you come here. | |
| If there are too many people in the building when you show up, We're just gonna take extra money from you, because fuck you, that's why. | |
| And that's not including any of the, like, the second, the quote-unquote secondary players in the market. | |
| You know, like, the fucking, like, fucking, you're Jack-in-the-Box, In-N-Out, uh, fucking Freddy's, uh, you know, Carl's Jr., Hardee's, like, all that shit. | |
| Like, there's just so many places to go get food. | |
| Wendy's. | |
| Like, what are you? | |
| You definitely shouldn't have been the first one to announce this. | |
| What are you, crazy? | |
| That's the sort of innovation you have to let, like, McDonald's take a chance on and see if it's something the market will handle, because McDonald's could absorb an unlimited amount of PR hits. | |
| They're just so big. | |
| But like, you're Wendy's, dude. | |
| Like, if you ever did that... I mean, let's look at what Mike Rage just said. | |
| Mike Rage just said he would rather go to a Burger King. | |
| Are you kidding me? | |
| Are you actually literally kidding me? | |
| He said if you did that, Wendy's, he would go to the Burger King. | |
| Do you understand? | |
| This is not 1978. | |
| Nobody should be like, yo, I'm thinking BK. | |
| Like, those days are long gone. | |
| Yes. | |
| The only memory I have of a Burger King is me eating the Burger King and then me puking and not making it to the bathroom in time and I just puked all over the fucking right front of the counter area. | |
| So bad! | |
| And right now Burger King is like, man, this is the best press we've gotten on a podcast in months. | |
| At least we're talking about us, not press is bad press. | |
| The local Burger King, I don't know if it's a nationwide thing or whatever, but it was back in like around the turn of the 2000, you know, the turn of the 2000, around the turn of the 2000, you know, the 00. | |
| But the local Burger King had, like, a fuckin', like, two for two dollars, like, Whopper deal. | |
| Like, I don't know if they just, like, way overordered on their meat, or if it was like, like, hey, please come into Burger King, we're begging you, we're giving it away. | |
| But yeah, I mean, two Whoppers for two dollars, like, I ate a lot of Whoppers that week. | |
| It is, it's a lot of sandwich for a dollar. | |
| Like, and if you're poor, I was like, side me up! | |
| Like, you know, that, that's worth the trip. | |
| But, uh, under normal circumstances, the Whopper's like $8.50, and I'm just like, guys, I mean, it's a lot of burger, but I get a lot of burger from a lot of places. | |
| You're Burger King. | |
| The thought of Burger King, it gives brown and orange the same way the 70s does to me. | |
| Like, when I think of, like, not the good kind of brown and orange, like fall or Halloween or Thanksgiving, the bad kind, like the 70s, where everybody fucking forgot what taste was and everything was hideous. | |
| Yeah. | |
| The weirdest thing, it was like, I actually saw a thing where someone was like, McDonald's prices are ridiculous. | |
| And then someone said, if you use the McDonald's app, you get way better prices. | |
| And then it got into this whole argument about how like, all these franchisees try to set their prices at a certain rate so they can make money and then like McDonald's corporate Sets a different lower price through the app to like fuck with the franchisees. | |
| So it's basically just like, if you use the app, you're basically like undercutting the people that are trying to make more money. | |
| But McDonald's corporate doesn't care because they want to make people think that like they're good with like lower prices and all this kind of stuff. | |
| So I thought that was a very interesting like tug of war that I was reading about. | |
| And then like three days later, Wendy's just drives a car through your front door screaming, surge pricing! | |
| We're lunatics! | |
| What the shit? | |
| This is crazy. | |
| Yeah, and I mean, don't get me wrong, I get the impulse. | |
| Like, all those chains must really be feeling the squeeze. | |
| Because, you know, that fight for 15 started to work and it didn't. | |
| It didn't come from nowhere, you know? | |
| Like, all of a sudden, they're just like, damn it, we used to be able to pay these tickets $8.75, but now we have to pay the, like, $13 or whatever? | |
| Like, yeah, prices are gonna fucking go up. | |
| Like, that's just the way it's gonna go. | |
| But surge pricing is not it. | |
| You just have to decide what you think that your customers are gonna accept as just, like, a uniform hit to pricing across the board. | |
| And it's up to your PR team to spin the former dollar menu to now be the Cravings Under $3 menu! | |
| Like, that transition already happened. | |
| Like, get ready for it to just be like, Economic Menu Under $10! | |
| Yeah, that's the way it's gonna go. | |
| I just remember, like, when the fight for $15 started, people were like, oh, $15, meet your replacement. | |
| They just had all, like, the terminals, like, the touchscreen keyboards, and it's like, people still got to cook the food, buddy. | |
| You haven't made the automated cook yet, so someone needs to get paid for something. | |
| Like, calm down. | |
| And why are you on the side of team automation? | |
| Who the fuck? | |
| Like, bro, we're all, why are you on the side, not on team human, why are you on the side of team robot? | |
| What the shit? | |
| Maybe because that person's a fucking genius. | |
| And maybe everybody should be on Team Robot. | |
| Team Robot's not going anywhere. | |
| Robots take over all the jobs. | |
| No more money. | |
| Everything free. | |
| And then that's it. | |
| That's how it works, you know? | |
| We don't have to worry about jobs. | |
| The robots are taking care of that. | |
| You know? | |
| Yes. | |
| Yeah, as long as capitalism is happening, technology is going to continue to take jobs away from people. | |
| It's been happening... | |
| Forever. | |
| And it's going to continue to happen. | |
| Forever. | |
| And all these people that think that it's going to stop now, suddenly, because they're being loud about it on social media, are fucking delusional! | |
| Like, it's never going to happen! | |
| I get it. | |
| It sucks. | |
| And complaining about it is something that a lot of people want to do. | |
| But if you want change, you're going to have to do a little more than, like, Armchair Warrior this one. | |
| You're going to have to do a thing. | |
| Because no one's pulling the plug on AI. | |
| I can go type some word, I can go type a prompt into fucking chat, JPT, and get like a thesis or whatever, you know what I mean? | |
| Like, no one's gonna, like, that's happening. | |
| That genie's not going back in the bottle. | |
| Until after we get through our Dune, like, you know, our Dune fucking galactic war, and then we abolish all machines. | |
| Get really into genetic engineering. | |
| Anyway, we've already ramped about fucking just nonsense for too much, so let's get into our abuse-boosh. | |
| It's time for a light sampling of insanity. | |
| Get ready for the amuse-bouche! | |
| AI always leaves a bad taste in everyone's mouth, so let's talk about something happy and awesome. | |
| Namely, a dark cloud hanging over the Boebert family, because fuck the Boeberts. | |
| We don't like the Boeberts. | |
| And apparently, young Boebert is a rebel without a cause. | |
| I guess Lord Boebert's wonderful Lord Boebert's sons has been getting into some fucking crimes. | |
| He's been doing a laundry list of crimes. | |
| So Mike, what's going on with the Boebert's son? | |
| What's he up to? | |
| Tyler Bobert, who is 18 years old and thusly can be prosecuted as an adult, has been indicted for 22 criminal charges. | |
| I've read conflicting accounts, because this is all coming out today as we're recording, that he's either been hit with at least one felony or a series of felonies in these 22 counts, and that He was making false IDs. | |
| He was breaking into cars. | |
| He was doing all kinds of fun stuff, uh, on this rampage of his. | |
| Uh, most people are having a very good time about this because, uh, Lauren Boebert made a tweet about how the Biden crime family is destroying America. | |
| And she posted this pretty much, she had to be, this had to be right after she found out about her son doing all of his crimes. | |
| So. | |
| It's really funny that she had the temerity to whine about Hunter Biden and the rest of the Biden criminality when she knew that her own son was at the local police department getting talked to about all the bad things he was doing. | |
| That just hit, and we'll see how this all plays out with him. | |
| Lauren Boebert has moved from the district she was in because she was going to lose re-election. | |
| Because in a midterm, you're supposed to do good. | |
| And the underfunded Democrat she was up against lost to her by like 150 votes or so. | |
| And that guy was like, Hey, I almost beat her last time. | |
| Let's do this bros. | |
| And in a presidential year in Colorado, which is a blue state, which means more people are going to come out for Biden. | |
| And then we'll vote for the Democrat down ticket. | |
| It was very likely that guy was going to win. | |
| And so Boebert retreated to a new district to try to avoid that fight. | |
| And, uh, she has to win the Republican primary in that district. | |
| And she's not been doing very well so far. | |
| So today is probably another little, um, check Mark we can put down for the Lauren Boebert slowly and painfully being removed from Congress trajectory that she's on. | |
| I saw as part of this headline, because this did float across my eyes and I glanced at it, I guess in reporting this, some people were bringing up Bobert's strained relationship with her husband, who she's going through a divorce with, and I guess recently she filed a restraining order against him, and he is contending that that is a political move to help justify her fleeing her district. | |
| Witch House is like, oh no, like, it sucks because either way you slice that, it's bad at that point. | |
| There's like no good outcome, you know what I mean? | |
| It's just like, oh, either it's true, she needed to file a restraining order against this guy because he was being a creep and a weirdo, or she was lying and is willing to fucking, like, put a bunch of stank on his name in order to flee her district for slightly better political prospects. | |
| Absolutely insane stuff. | |
| Yeah, after the first debate, there was like a straw poll conducted of, I guess, either people in the audience or a focus group of the five-person Republican primary field in Colorado's 4th District, and Bobert came in last. | |
| Uh, the leader was Jerry Sonnenberg who got 22 votes and down and down and down and down. | |
| And then finally at the bottom was Lauren Boebert who got 12 votes. | |
| So, uh, I don't know that there's any actual polling on the ground, but it doesn't feel like Lauren's winning over a lot of new friends in her new district she's trying to take over. | |
| So, uh, may she join George Santos as a crazy people that flamed out spectacularly in Congress. | |
| Yeah, I think you can find a website and make a little money on the side, you know? | |
| Yes. | |
| Yes. | |
| Okay, moving on in our Booshy Boosh topics for the week, it looks like we've got some movement in the QAnon griftosphere. | |
| This I don't know anything about because this is deep in the trenches where only Mike Rains and Hayley are brave enough to go. | |
| So Mike, what's going on with our griftanon update for the week? | |
| Oh, okay. | |
| So, um, the battle between, uh, like Awakened Outlaw and his buddies on the internet has reached a full, um, it reached its full conclusion where he, he got his full name doxxed at this point. | |
| Uh, our buddy's name is Jewelbar. | |
| B-A-R-R. | |
| So, uh, congratulations Outlaw. | |
| He has again tried to, uh, play the bigger man in all this while Matrix Authority and Spooky Groove continue to talk shit about him and call him a gatekeeper. | |
| and all kinds of other fun stuff. | |
| Uh, this is again, for those of you who are not sure about this, they had a, um, | |
| this falling out is over Mike Flynn and how he is a good guy, according to most | |
| QAnon people. | |
| And the other side is just like, no, Michael Flynn is actually a bad guy and we hate him. | |
| And this is like, no, actually he is Q and he always has been. | |
| Oh God, that, the best part about all of that is, oh my God, is Jay Stu big friends with the Authority and Spooky Groove and, and all that, and Matrix now. | |
| Cause they, they all hate Flynn together. | |
| And it's just the funniest thing. | |
| Like they all, they're all bros now. | |
| It's like the, and, and, and, and it's how, how are you a, how are you tolerant of These assholes who have been promoting this deadly... Jim Stewart says, like, QAnon is a brain poison that's ruining everybody, and it's the most evil thing in the world, and now you're just like, I'm hanging out with my bros, Matrix and Spooky Groove, because we all hate Michael Flynn. | |
| You do know they're QAnon promoters, right? | |
| You do understand that. | |
| This is... | |
| Mike, have you never heard that the enemy of my enemy is my friend and bro and we should drink beers together? | |
| Like, it's no big thing. | |
| Actually, what we should drink together is coffee, because a bunch of QAnon promoters have decided to create their own brand of coffee called Covfefe Coffee, which comes from the bizarre, miswritten tweet by Donald Trump back when he was president talking about Covfefe. | |
| I thought that was a decode. | |
| Aren't they making fun of their own shit now? | |
| They're actually making a reference to a decode and all this kind of shit from then. | |
| So now, literally, they have specialty coffees. | |
| Beer at the Parade has a dark roast. | |
| Enoch's Newsblend, the guy who has Q-Bert as his avatar, which he couldn't use on this coffee packaging because he'd obviously be fucking sued because he doesn't own the rights to Q-Bert. | |
| Pepe Deluxe has a six bean blend. | |
| Brainstorm has a cowboy blend. | |
| Defender Dolly's Grind is a medium roast. | |
| Sarge has a roast. | |
| Not our Sarge. | |
| I think it's the Parasite guy. | |
| Yeah, I think that's the Parasite guy. | |
| Awakened Outlaw, aka our buddy Joel, has a coffee called Awakened. | |
| Brenda has a Donut Shop Coffee, and my favorite one of all these is Brian Cates, the fucking crank who used to write for the Epoch Times and is now just a QAnon lunatic, has Brian Cates' Cates' Keto Premium Roast. | |
| So, if you love QAnon, you can go buy the coffee of your favorite QAnon grifter. | |
| And a bunch of people have made fun of this because obviously you should, because this is obviously a fucking scam and just a way to make a buck. | |
| Are you going to get some? | |
| No, no, I'm not. | |
| I've never drank coffee in my life. | |
| And if I ever did, the last thing I would do is be like, man, I need to put some money in this QAnon promoter's pocket. | |
| I'd be like, oh man, Julian's rum needs a few bucks. | |
| Here you go, Julian. | |
| I'll buy your brand of coffee. | |
| It would be interesting if there were- That better taste like shit. | |
| Oh, well, the thing is... I bet it all tastes the fucking same. | |
| Aside from being light, medium, or dark roast, I bet it's all the same shit. | |
| Yeah. | |
| That's what made me laugh, is that they did spin the gamut of the roast for all the different people, because they obviously wanted to hit those different varieties. | |
| That's the easiest way to trick stupid people into thinking that your coffee actually does have a flavor that it doesn't. | |
| Not that I'm saying that no coffees have flavor. | |
| I've had very good coffee that does have, like, unique notes. | |
| But, like, a lot of the shit, piss, swill that you get in America is just like... | |
| It's literally just like, does it taste light, medium, or dark? | |
| That's it. | |
| That's all you're really getting out of it, is how fucking black are the beans when they cook them? | |
| Like, Starbucks. | |
| All dark roasted horse shit. | |
| All terrible. | |
| But, you know, am I not going to Starbucks? | |
| Yes, but that's because they're anti-union dickheads and not because their coffee tastes bad. | |
| I would be in line just like the rest of you fools. | |
| If not, but, but, uh, but yeah, their coffee, it just sucks. | |
| Dunkin' Donuts, medium roast, also terrible. | |
| Terrible across the board. | |
| Lord knows I love an iced coffee from Dunk's, but it's not good. | |
| I'm just conditioned to like it because I grew up in a certain place of the world. | |
| Oh yeah. | |
| Like if you live in Massachusetts and you drink coffee, you go to Dunk's. | |
| That's just how this works. | |
| I mean, they're just omnipresent. | |
| You guys have Dutch brothers? | |
| No, I'm an only child, actually. | |
| Dutch Brothers Coffee. | |
| It must be a West Coast thing, but it has this following that's a little bit obsessive | |
| to the point where you'll see people where their entire car is just covered in all the | |
| Dutch Brothers stickers that they have. | |
| And when you go to Dutch Brothers, I can't go there. | |
| I'll put any slop coffee in my mouth, throw a cigarette in my mouth, mmm, delicious ashtray | |
| mouth with coffee. | |
| Dutch Brothers first of all is pure sugar, so I don't want it. | |
| And second of all, the people are over-aggressively friendly to the point where it feels fake | |
| and a little bit like, whoa, back off, back up, back up, back up, get back up. | |
| I don't like going there. | |
| Listeners, do you ever go to Dutch Brothers Coffee? | |
| Listeners, do you have any weird stories there? | |
| Because I certainly do. | |
| Yeah, listeners, are you Dunkies fans or are you more Dutch bags, you know? | |
| Get with me now. | |
| Yeah. | |
| Listeners, support local. | |
| Tres Leches Cafe is very good if you're Arizona. | |
| And also, the Nile has a coffee shop that's good. | |
| It's a coffee that will not taste like squill. | |
| Always with Arizona with this one. | |
| Jesus fucking Christ. | |
| There's some of the listeners! | |
| Get over yourself. | |
| We have to move on anyway, and it's time for you to... | |
| Damn it, according to my notes, talk about Arizona! | |
| Fuck, no! | |
| Yeah, it's time for the Boosh segment that we have carved out for Hayley every week to give us an update of her little slice of hell down there in the state of Arizona. | |
| And apparently this week they're getting friendly with the Q Shaman. | |
| So, Hayley, talk to us about Arizona, the Q Shaman, and everything. | |
| I know you guys are excited. | |
| Well, Chansley, Jacob Chansley, a.k.a. | |
| the QAnon Shaman, he's currently running for Congress. | |
| I think we talked about this a while back about how just wild that District is in general because a long time Republican has left her position and now every single like person that ran against Carrie Lake is kind of vying for that seat like Blake Masters and | |
| Anthony Kern is running for it, who is this lawmaker that stormed the Capitol, and Abe Hamaday, he was the failed Attorney General that also, like Carrie Lake, will not stop with the lawsuits that will never materialize into anything, but he still grips off of that. | |
| Anyways! | |
| Shaman for Congress. | |
| That's his actual signs and merchandise and website. | |
| He's doing the whole shaman thing for that. | |
| Every Saturday, he meets at the Capitol for a prayer and meditation, which he streams. | |
| And he meets at this specific point kind of across the street from the Capitol that's in like this park and it has like um like a stamp in the middle like a circular crest kind of thing um and then a bunch of a bunch of uh lines like reaching towards that circle Um, and that's where he prays and meditates because he believes that this is, this is a ley line. | |
| Um, so Mike, would you like to explain please? | |
| I'm sure the audience knows what Ley Lines are. | |
| aren't there with it. | |
| Okay. | |
| I don't know. | |
| So ley lines are a idea that there is basically energy in the earth and that if you can like | |
| find where that energy is and then go to where it the power is in it. | |
| You can siphon it off for yourself. | |
| It's a form of like kind of chakras and spirituality, but in the actual ground itself. | |
| And people that believe in ley lines believe that we are sort of instinctively drawn to them, which is why capital cities are put where they are, because we went to where the power was, and that's where we established are like roots of our of our societies. | |
| And so... Yeah, you can really feel it if you've ever been to Albany, you're like, wow. | |
| Oh, God! | |
| The power. | |
| I'm pretty sure our capital was moved also after we became a territory. | |
| So that's kind of funny. | |
| Well, they figured out... Or after we stopped being a territory. | |
| They figured out where the Wi-Fi signal was stronger on this other ley line. | |
| They were just like, yes, we get a better connection on this ley line. | |
| Right, exactly. | |
| Yeah, it's moved a couple times. | |
| It was in Prescott, and then it was in Tucson, and then finally Phoenix. | |
| So which one is it? | |
| Is it all ley lines? | |
| Is there multiple? | |
| Yes, ley lines are everywhere. | |
| That's the whole point of ley lines, is that you can just like constantly tapping into them. | |
| It's weird. | |
| It's almost like you make up ley lines as you go along, and then just say the ley line is there. | |
| It's strange. | |
| Yeah, so obviously, Chancely the Q Shaman is a leyline truther, and this is part of his mythos, is that he... And this is, shamanism, and being part of nature, and that kind of spirituality, aggressively lends itself to leyline belief. | |
| Like, that is something that is so unsurprising, you could knock me over with a feather when it comes to this kind of stuff. | |
| Yeah, so he believes that the Arizona capital, this is a direct quote, like all state capitals, are built on electromagnetic ley lines and this is where ancient pyramids, obelisks, and ancient temples, medicine wheels, and stuff are built. | |
| This is to channel the energy to and through the earth and channel the intention of those assembled on those sacred sites to affect the frequency of the planet itself. | |
| That's his direct quote. | |
| Yeah, I wonder if hanging out and praying and these things makes his sex life any better. | |
| I mean, you know, there actually are women that do show up to these prayer meditations and just in general, when I see him at events, the ladies do really seem to flock to him. | |
| Ladies love Kulshum! | |
| Yeah, but you know, he's got a little following. | |
| He's got a little following of people who like him for like the spirituals, the so-called spiritual stuff. | |
| You know, he's got a following of people who are kind of horny for him. | |
| He's got a following of people who just kind of Dude, you should go to the Capitol building and soak up some of his fucking ley line rays. | |
| the deep state. Yeah. But anyway, you should go to the Capitol building and soak up some | |
| Oh yeah. | |
| of his fucking ley line race. Oh, yeah. See if it gives you mad power. Yeah, he's always | |
| He used to hang out even before he got picked up. | |
| When that gun rally was there last week, he had to go a little bit off-site because he couldn't be around guns due to the conditions of his parole. | |
| Yeah, so he likes to hang out at the Capitol and do this stuff, but also he was hanging out at the Capitol this week because he was formally invited as a guest by a lawmaker this week to To the actual state capitol like inside he got to he got to go in there as a guest. | |
| So the lawmaker that invited him is Anthony Kern, which is funny because that's a person running for against him in the congressional race for the they're both running against each other. | |
| But Anthony Kern As I said, he was involved in the January 6th riot at the Capitol in D.C. | |
| He was photographed beyond... He wasn't photographed inside the Capitol storming it, but he was photographed beyond points where he should have been. | |
| He then went on to help with the Cyber Ninja audit. | |
| Um, he was also one of the fake electors in Arizona and then he got re-elected. | |
| Um... | |
| And he is now running for higher office. | |
| Um, and that's going to be the same seat that Chansley is running for. | |
| I honestly do not know who will win this race. | |
| I would imagine like the Normie Republican will win this one, but we'll see. | |
| But anyway, so he was invited to the Capitol as a guest where he was like, yeah, brought in where it's like, you're not allowed to go if you're a member of the public. | |
| It made news because I think he was in normal gear. | |
| And some of the Democrats were like, who is that guy? | |
| That guy looks super familiar. | |
| And then they didn't realize until after they got questioned by media about Chansley being there that it was Chansley. | |
| So yeah, the Arizona GOP is continuing to make themselves look good and bring about the nickname, the Q capital of the world, upon themselves for a reason. | |
| Uh, so that's the update on Chansley. | |
| So that's, yeah. | |
| I will see you again during the CPAC segment. | |
| Yeah, oh yeah. | |
| Haley says as she proceeds into the Arizona shadows. | |
| Well, there we go. | |
| Uh, yeah, yeah, dude, ley lines are such a crazy thing. | |
| I mean, that's the sort of shit that I'm glad that QAnon people are still into because that's sort of weird. | |
| Mysticism and super science nonsense is always my favorite parts of this conspiracy theory. | |
| I only know what Ley Lines is through non-QAnon related mysticism shit like fucking urban fantasy books and Magic the Gathering and stuff like that. | |
| When Ley Lines came up in our QAnon discussion I was just like, oh boy, I'm about this life, oh yeah! | |
| Yeah, like, Chansley was in a Twitter space back when, like, when we first got out of prison, he did a Twitter space where he was, like, that was when, like, the Krasen scenes interviewed him, and they were just dog shit, because they didn't push back on nearly enough of his stuff. | |
| And I literally, I was in the room the whole time and put the request to speak button in, and they just never, never, never turned me on. | |
| I don't rate, A, I don't rate, and B, if they knew who I was, they would never let me actually confront Chansley, because I would have way too many facts to go at him with. | |
| At one point in the conversation, they were like, yo, you're all about this nature and the environment. | |
| So how can you support Trump? | |
| And Chancey just went into just like all the nonsense about free energy and Tesla and Tesla technology that was like stolen by the government and like that was how he was going to clean up the environment was literally just super magic technology. | |
| He didn't want to talk about how the Democrats actually work to help the environment and Donald Trump is just coal mines all day. | |
| Boo! | |
| Yeah! | |
| It's like, oh God, it's like, man. | |
| It's funny because he has four policies on his website. | |
| He makes it all caps. | |
| The four policies I am running on are chosen for good reason. | |
| And they're surprisingly, you know, nothing about ley lines, nothing about environmental energies. Here's the four policies he'll be | |
| focusing on. Single bill voting, term limits, insider trading, and banning lobbying. | |
| Wow. I just love what a milquetoast libertarian anti-government, I mean, Jesus, that's, look | |
| Literally anyone could run on that. | |
| I could run on that. | |
| The coolest thing in Massachusetts is our Green Party is called the Green Rainbow Party. | |
| So I'm gonna run Green Rainbow. | |
| I'm gonna just literally copypasta his platform to mine. | |
| I'm just gonna be like, boom. | |
| People are going to be like, how can you run on that? | |
| I'm like, how can no one run on that? | |
| It's the most boring thing in the world. | |
| It means nothing. | |
| It's like, Jacob Chansley is running on, kittens are adorable, and I love puppies. | |
| Boy. | |
| Well, yeah, but those are just the headlines. | |
| If you read a little bit deeper into it, you don't want to step on our rake here, right? | |
| Because it'll just be like, wait a minute. | |
| Underneath it, it'll just be like, everybody knows the reptiloids have to stay on Earth for at least 10 years to return to the bed. | |
| I would read you the full page of his ban lobbying, but it's so incredibly boring that it's not even worth it. | |
| they gotta be out otherwise they'll be fully recharged and ready to go again. | |
| They're like wow you're just a crazy person. | |
| I would read you the full page of his ban lobbying but it's so incredibly boring | |
| that it's not even worth it. I'll just give you a little taste. | |
| Promoting equality in politics representation. | |
| By making lobbying illegal, the playing field could be leveled for all constituents, regardless of their financial resources. | |
| This could lead to a more equitable representation of diverse public interests. | |
| Like, it's literally just, it's just words. | |
| It's just normal words. | |
| It's all just normal words. | |
| It's Snoozeville! | |
| I was fighting to keep myself awake as you went through that. | |
| Oh my god. | |
| The entire audience is asleep right now. | |
| Yeah, if you ever read anything from the Q Shaman's political website again, you must do it in your ASMR voice. | |
| Here, I'll keep going. | |
| Lobbying can create conflicts of interest where lawmakers might prioritize the desire of lobbyists over the needs of their constituents. | |
| Knock it off, you're gonna get me bricked up. | |
| It's a lot of this. | |
| It's shockingly tame. | |
| That guy's got nothing. | |
| It is boring. | |
| Who would have guessed? | |
| I thought he was probably a pretty wild and crazy guy based by the fact his whole identity is putting on a fucking furry costume just without the face mask and dancing around for a bunch of conservative idiots. | |
| Anyway, vote for him, I guess, if that's your thing. | |
| Better than Anthony Kern. | |
| Better than Blake Masters, who is also running for that seat. | |
| Blake Masters, who's literally just an alien in human form. | |
| Like, I don't think enough can be said about that man and the psychotic nature of his commercials. | |
| Like, I just got a taste of it, but Hayley had to be immersed in that guy's shit when he was running for Senate in Arizona, but it's just... | |
| Like that ad he did with the gun, we talked about it before in the podcast, like months and months ago, but like, it's just like, wow, this is literally an audition tape for like the remake of American Psycho. | |
| This is just absolute, total, no emotion, no connection to the audience. | |
| Just being like, German made Walther PPK. | |
| Pow, pow, pow, pow, pow. | |
| And he made a few like that. | |
| He just kept showing off guns. | |
| He's like, here's a gun I didn't kill anyone with. | |
| You want to see it shoot? | |
| You know? | |
| See, everybody loves guns. | |
| Lord knows we love guns on the Invention of the Hell World podcast and we think everybody should have at least three guns. | |
| You didn't even make it fun! | |
| The one with the silencer, it was just like, you can't hear anything. | |
| There's nothing there. | |
| It was just like showing him, like, shoot at a dirt lot. | |
| That was just like, I didn't hear anything and it wasn't cool. | |
| It was just weird. | |
| Go to high school at Haley, that's where you're from. | |
| Okay, I'm sorry. | |
| Everybody loves a gun. | |
| A big metal penis. | |
| I'm sorry. | |
| I believe we can all agree that's another 30-second rec. | |
| Do you all drink teapot? | |
| Maybe for real this time. | |
| No, you're definitely going to get in there to take some shots at Mitch McConnell too. | |
| In our headline news segment, which is coming up now! | |
| From the digital headlines to the digital front lines, it's Q's in the News. | |
| Yeah, this is like breaking news. | |
| We're going to be talking about the latest in the news. | |
| Mitch McConnell has decided that he is too old to be doing a government. | |
| So he has decided that after November, he is going to be doing the retirement thing at the ripe old age of 82, I think. | |
| Yeah, our boy Mitch McConnell has decided he will no longer be the Republican leader in the Senate, be it either as minority or majority leader, depending on the results of the election. | |
| So in November, he's just going to call it a day. | |
| He's going to go back to being a regular old senator and try to live out his term, which still has three more years left on it. | |
| I've seen nothing but celebrations from literally everybody. | |
| QAnon hates McConnell because He sucks up to Trump a lot, but not 100%, which makes him insufficiently loyal. | |
| And, of course, the Left hates McConnell because he's a monstrous piece of shit who basically quarterbacked Trump's entire presidency and wrote all the legislation that he then told dumb-dumb Trump to sign his name to when it came time for that. | |
| And the Shredder hates him because he looks like a turtle. | |
| Yes! | |
| Yes. | |
| I often view my politics through the lens of, what does the Shredder think about these things? | |
| Dude, it's not that we can't elect the Shredder to president just because he wasn't born in this country. | |
| I'm just going to comment on that. | |
| Nobody else is going to say it, but I will. | |
| Yeah, it's really unfortunate mostly because I'm drawing a blank on the Shredder's actual name and I'm just calling him the Shredder. | |
| Was it Oroku Saki? | |
| Was that him? | |
| I can't remember if Oroku Saki was him or if that was Splinter's original name. | |
| No, it's Oroku Saki. | |
| I remember that because I remember there was this one episode of the cartoon that just ended with Krang yelling that at him. | |
| He's like, we'll see about that, Oroku Saki, because they were having one of their tiffs that the Shredder and Krang had all the time. | |
| One of their fucking marital fights? | |
| Yes, absolutely. 100%. I mean, they were literally, uh, they were a nuclear family. | |
| Like, Shredder and Krang were the parents of Bebock and Rocksteady were their delinquent kids. | |
| I mean, it was, that was just, they were coded that way aggressively. I mean, it just... | |
| And then Tokai Rezar were the kids that the father went and started with a different family. | |
| Anyway, this is, as much as I would love to continue talking about Ninja Turtles over at Mitch McConnell. | |
| Yes. | |
| That's not the podcast we set up for ourselves. | |
| So let's get back to talking about Turtle Boy IRL. | |
| Yeah. | |
| So the main question about this now is, is who on earth are the Republicans going to replace with for the leader of the Senate? | |
| Because... Dude, Matt Gaetz, obviously! | |
| Marjorie Taylor Cree, get in there! | |
| Thankfully both of those nutbags are in the house. | |
| Donald Trump hasn't waved his orange hand over somebody yet to determine if they're the next person the Republicans will elect, because I guess that's how that party goes now. | |
| Yeah, oh, that is, I mean, that is the issue. | |
| I mean, I wonder, I wonder if, like, the brain trust around Trump are currently having a meeting where, like, eventually one of them will then go to Trump and be like, yo, Donnie, here are, like, three options for who we want to run the Senate. | |
| And then, like, they basically just have to have a giant argument with Trump because he's just this, like, bellicose moron that has, like, interpersonal relationships with various senators that he likes and doesn't like. | |
| And they have to like lean on him to eventually pick the one monster they want him to pick that is most likely to tow the party line for whatever Trump wants them to do. | |
| That, yeah, that's the magic of the Republican Party. | |
| It is literally just a cult of Donald Trump. | |
| It's one of my favorite things reading QAnon people where they're like, you don't get it. | |
| Like you normie libs think we just hate Democrats. | |
| We actually hate the Bushes and 90% of all Republicans and blah, blah, blah. | |
| And it's like, yeah, that's just the way the Republican party has always worked. | |
| I lived under W. Bush and I remember the eight year cult of W. I I lived in Nevada and when I went to go pay my rent, the office where I went to cash that check or drop off that money order, the lady there had a literal calendar and every month was just a different photo of W. It was the W calendar. | |
| And so, and then guess what happened the moment that guy became so toxic that a black man became president after him? | |
| They unpersoned him. | |
| The unpersoning of Trump is going to be so egregious. | |
| Do you suppose that person just really loved the presidency that had a similar calendar for Obama? | |
| That would have been awesome! | |
| They just loved the office of president so much. | |
| I wish. | |
| Oh, that would have been so great. | |
| Sadly, I wasn't around for that. | |
| I wasn't in that apartment complex when Obama was in office, unfortunately. | |
| There's just something about being able to facilitate a genocide against Palestinians that gets me so wet. | |
| Oh, God. | |
| Because that's what the President of the United States is supposed to be doing, right? | |
| That's their job? | |
| Anyway. | |
| That's not about Mitch McConnell! | |
| Look at him, he looks like a dumb turtle! | |
| And he's retiring from part of his position. | |
| What a loser. | |
| Anyway, yeah, it's so weird that they don't already have somebody, like... Was this like a surprise move? | |
| Because you would think that they would already have somebody lined up if he had kept them in the know about this, right? | |
| Yeah, it's really strange, because it was a big to-do when Pelosi said, I'm no longer going to be the House leader of the Democrats, and by the way, Hakeem Jeffries is my chosen successor. | |
| And the Democrats were like, cool, sounds good by us, and that was just a thing that was known. | |
| Like, McConnell's retiring, and McConnell did not retire and say, by the way, throws a dart at a dartboard, boom! | |
| Like, Senator Cotton is now Tom Cotton, you, you're the new leader, or whatever. | |
| I mean, that didn't happen. | |
| So it is strange. | |
| It is strange that there's no secession plan here and that now we're just in a spot where we've got the Republicans just sort of being like, oh shit, like somebody else is going to have to be the literal monster that runs the Congress for us now. | |
| Great. | |
| I mean, not that this is something that's unheard of, given the fact that they randomly kneecapped McCarthy in the House, then spent like three weeks fighting over who the new Speaker was, and our Speaker now is a guy who is certifiably insane and no one knew about him until he took the Speakership. | |
| I mean, so, man, there's only 49 Senators in the Republican Party in the Senate right now. | |
| Boy howdy, if you're number 49, it might be you! | |
| You could win! | |
| You could win the lottery! | |
| Well, more on this as it develops. | |
| We have to wait for Donald Trump to get his say in. | |
| He's probably a little bit busy this week trying to come up with half a billion dollars. | |
| So, maybe next week, but don't worry. | |
| We'll be getting back to Donald Trump here at the end of the news segment. | |
| But, in the middle, sandwiched delicately in between Turtle Boy in our discussion of Ninja Turtles and Orange Boy in our talk about his failing mental health, We're going to be talking about CPAC. | |
| That's right. | |
| It's time to get the hook out and pull Haley back from the Arizona shadows and get her back in here to discuss a little CPAC. | |
| Yes. | |
| So what's going on? | |
| Yeah. | |
| What's going on? | |
| Well, you take it away, Mike, and I'll just, I'll just add on to the Arizona part of it. | |
| But well, that's that was my main question is which of the which of the Nazis that we're about to cover are Arizona Nazis? | |
| Because there's like, the main two the main there there's there's there's a couple that kind of were causing a lot of A lot of Nazi problems at CPAC this weekend, which CPAC officials are denying any Nazis were in attendance at CPAC, which is a big fat fucking lie and you could put that on record. | |
| Whoa, Hayley, so bold, man. | |
| You could put that on Hell World Record, okay? | |
| That this is a lie. | |
| This is a filthy lie. | |
| These are Arizona Nazis, at least two of them, that were there. | |
| There was a bunch of dorky, there was like a little group of dorky, groiper fuck Nazis, because Jared Taylor. | |
| Well, they would be there anyway, because the groipers love to go to all the conservative Um, like events, the traditional conservative events and, you know, do what they do. | |
| Um, which in this case, there was one who Amanda, friend of the show, um, Amanda Moore, um, she wrote about in The Nation, her, um, experience getting banned from CPAC and not the Nazis getting banned from CPAC. | |
| Um, She got Sieg Heil'd on by a couple Nazis, like one Nazi, and there was a group of Nazis around her. | |
| One of those Nazis included a guy named Kyle Ferreira, who is a local. | |
| He was harassing not just people like Amanda and other journalists, but he was also going | |
| around and calling people like Sebastian Gorka a fucking F-slur, which is the anti-gay slur. | |
| He was just asking Matt Schlapp why Fuentes wasn't allowed at CPAC, like Nick Fuentes. | |
| Matt Schlapp, why Fuentes wasn't allowed at CPAC, like Nick Fuentes. | |
| He, he, he was just kind of generally being a little Nazi fuck, | |
| He was just kind of generally being a little Nazi fuck throughout the conference. | |
| uh, throughout the conference. | |
| And then the person that Sieg heiled on Amanda at the, in the CPAC lobby. | |
| So that seems like a Nazi at your event, uh, Mr. | |
| CPAC. | |
| Um, that's a, uh, a, he's not from Arizona. | |
| He's originally from California. | |
| His name is Ryan Sanchez. | |
| He is a Neo-Nazi from California, but recently moved here. | |
| And he was kicked out of the military for his affiliation with a Neo-Nazi fighting gang called the Rise Above Movement. | |
| And he is very closely affiliated with Patriot Front, which is funny that so many of the conservatives keep this fucking guy around when they're like, fed, fed, fed about Patriot Front. | |
| Yeah, Patriot Front is allegedly the fakest right-wing group in the history of the world. | |
| Awakened Outlaw's pinned tweet is literally just, they're bullshit, Patriot Front is a lie. | |
| And it's like, They kind of feel so bad, Patriot Front. | |
| They're like, hey, bro, leave us alone. | |
| We're really Nazis. | |
| Honest. | |
| We swears it. | |
| Yeah, they're like, we actually love Nazis. | |
| Yeah, so this Nazi, Mr. Sanchez, he regularly affiliates with different Patriot Front groups throughout the country. | |
| So, you know, that's a thing. | |
| And then also like active clubs, like neo-Nazi active clubs, which are kind of like the chill, just the off group of the Rise Above movement. | |
| It's just, it's neo-Nazi fighting gangs all down the board. | |
| So this is a Nazi. | |
| He's a proud Nazi. | |
| He's pretty open about being a Nazi. | |
| And yeah, so any claim that... | |
| There was no Nazis at CPAC is a filthy lie. | |
| And yeah, they kicked out Amanda. | |
| The CPAC officials kicked out Amanda as she's getting harassed. | |
| CPAC officials are continuing to double down and say there were no Nazis at CPAC, literally arguing with Amanda at this point on the timeline, as if, like, we don't all see it. | |
| You could go on Twitter, X, whatever you want to call it, and see All the little Nazis being fucking Nazi fucks, because they're Nazis. | |
| So that's my addition to CPAC. | |
| Take it away, Mike. | |
| Yeah, so that's the Amanda Moore Nazi section of CPAC, which is a big part of CPAC, because CPAC this year was incredibly boring. | |
| It was very under attended. | |
| Journalists who were not kicked out, unlike Amanda, who were in there, I would point out that back in the day, like these conventions, when there would be a big room with a major speaker in it, the room would be overflowing. | |
| These rooms are now half-empty. | |
| No one was there. | |
| You're supposed to have more or less attendance than that Che of Willy Wonka thing that's been making up those headlines. | |
| The AI-generated Willy Wonka Nightmare Warehouse. | |
| Oh, that was basically it. | |
| Oh, my God. | |
| Man, Oompa Loompa Girl should have absolutely been at CPAC. | |
| Oh, she would have killed. | |
| That would have been great. | |
| Yeah, it was very poorly attended. | |
| It generated very little news, with the exceptions of Steve Bannon giving a very incoherent, rambling speech that in the middle of it, he got a Trump 1 chant trying to go... | |
| And he pissed and moaned about how Trump won the 2020 election and everybody knows it. | |
| And then Jack Posabeck said, we're going to end democracy. | |
| And then when called out on that, he posted a link to MyPillow and made a joke. | |
| Because that's all, his brain has only two options, which is outrage people and then grift off of people after outraging other people. | |
| Because he's a dumb child with no concept of anything that's going on. | |
| Some people talked about Michelle Obama becoming the nominee for the presidency | |
| when they replaced Biden, which then led them talking about Big Mike and all the | |
| transphobic bullshit that surrounds Michelle Obama and the Republican | |
| griftosphere. | |
| And it's really like sickening and kind of horrifying how mainstream that has | |
| become within these circles where everyone's just sort of like, you know, | |
| calling Michelle Obama a guy is just like, it's par for the course. | |
| Like if you have a Republican in front of a microphone and they talk about Michelle Obama and they don't make an innuendo about her being a dude, it's kind of like, Whoa, do I have to give that guy a cookie now? | |
| Like, has he cleared a bar that it's so fucking low that like he gets a reward for it? | |
| It's like, Oh my God, this is, it's, it's just, it's just horrifyingly bad. | |
| So. | |
| And then finally, and this is a smooth segue into our last segment, is Donald Trump gave his rambling CPAC keynote address. | |
| And this speech, at the end of it, featured him rambling on about Melania and being like, our great first lady, oh, she was the greatest, the best of all first ladies, everyone says so. | |
| And then After he literally stated all these things about her, without saying her name and without addressing who she was, it was just sort of like this whole, ba-ba-ba, First Lady, ba-ba-ba, she's great, ba-ba-ba. | |
| He then stated, and then the crowd started cheering, and then Trump said, Mercedes, isn't this great? | |
| And Joe Public saw the clip of this and was like, oh shit, like Trump's so far gone that he literally just shouted out to his wife, yo Mercedes, look, they're cheering you. | |
| Isn't this great? | |
| And this started circulating around Twitter and social media. | |
| That was not a great sign for the Republican nominee. | |
| And this then led to a bunch of people sort of tut-tutting and freaking out about this, where what was happening was people were claiming that While Trump was giving this ramble about how great his wife was, and then people started cheering, he saw Mercedes Schlapp, the wife of a known sexual predator, first name Schlapp here, I don't even remember his first name, and fuck that guy, he doesn't deserve it. | |
| But basically their claim was he saw Mercedes Schlapp in the crowd and called out to her, and then said, Mercedes, isn't this great? | |
| So there was this big argument slash conversation about, hey guys, we have to, we have to play nicey nice with Donald Trump. | |
| And we can't say that he has dementia because he got his wife's name wrong. | |
| Because he didn't. | |
| He was talking about something else. | |
| It's blah, blah, blah. | |
| And Keith Olbermann got in on this. | |
| And Keith Olbermann's like the biggest Trump hater in the world. | |
| And I was just like, bro. | |
| What are we doing? | |
| Like, why are we trying to give Donald Trump an out for a fuck up? | |
| Like, have you ever seen a Republican in the history of the world? | |
| Finally a sign of conservative hypocrisy. | |
| Yes, exactly! | |
| It only took us a little while, but we got there. | |
| I understand what you were going for and I accept that. | |
| And now I'm just going to let this one slide. | |
| Because... | |
| Finally a sign of conservative hypocrisy. | |
| Yes, exactly. | |
| It only took us a little while, but we got there. | |
| We finally found it. | |
| Yeah. | |
| But it's just the funniest thing to me that people... | |
| Please. | |
| Felt that like attacking Trump for this misspeaking here was a bridge too far. | |
| And it's like, you know, this is, this is a old school wrestling in the ECW where there are no rules and everyone just goes for a chair and you just hit each other. | |
| And it's like, if Joe Biden wins, America kind of stays normal. | |
| Like things are as they are. | |
| If Trump wins, we're fucked. | |
| We're, we're really fucked. | |
| I mean, like this is super deluxe bad. | |
| So to me, it's like, you know, I'm not going to give Trump any free pass on anything. | |
| Like if he says something stupid. | |
| And I can call him out on that? | |
| I'm gonna do it. | |
| And then if people are like, oh no, you don't understand, he said this stupid thing because of this reason that makes it justifiable. | |
| I'm like, no. | |
| He said a stupid thing. | |
| And I'm gonna call him out on that stupid thing and I'm gonna point it out to people. | |
| Because I want them to know about it. | |
| And justifications- Must be nice to be so ageist. | |
| What an ageist guy you are, you monster. | |
| So much of the tolerant left, am I right? | |
| Yes! | |
| Well, my bro, Dark Brandon, got in on the fun on the Seth Meyers show when he did his interview. | |
| Meyers said to him, yo, Joe, you're fucking old. | |
| What's going on, bro? | |
| What's going on with your age? | |
| And Biden said, Trump's almost as old as me and he can't remember his wife's name! | |
| And I was like, good! | |
| Yes, Dark Brandon! | |
| Hit him on it! | |
| Attack! | |
| Attack, Dark Brandon! | |
| Like, this isn't even a question in my mind. | |
| You should've followed up with a fucking zinger, like, oh, but I sure can't remember her name. | |
| You smile, Doug. | |
| Hey, earlier this week, we got that Joe Biden fucks thing going for a while, so yeah. | |
| If he'd just turned it up that extra mile, that would've been really spicy. | |
| Yeah, if Joe Biden fucks, imagine how much Doug Brandon fucks. | |
| Yes. | |
| Oh, man. | |
| So, yeah. | |
| In the news for what were the acceptable slurring and incoherence of the week for Donald Trump, the big one was that Donald Trump declared that it was he who made Israel the capital of Israel. | |
| So he was the one who pushed that forward and saw to it that that was completed. | |
| I can't remember. | |
| Was it between shows where he also declared that black people are going to love him because he's getting prosecuted for crimes? | |
| Yes! | |
| Oh yeah, oh god, oh god. | |
| Speaking of his failing mental thing, I mean, why would you ever say that? | |
| It's just like, dude, black people love it when their heroes get persecuted for crimes or whatever. | |
| It's like, wow, you're out of your fucking trees, dude. | |
| It's so crazy. | |
| Oh, like, Trump's entire speech before the Black Congressional Caucus or whatever it's called, like, this weird front group of black conservatives, It was just literally the most racist speech ever given where he was just like, Hey, black people, you love me because of racist stereotypes. | |
| Am I right? | |
| It was just like, Whoa, who the fuck thought any of this was a good idea? | |
| Like this is, yeah, that was, uh, that was the spiciest of meatballs. | |
| Just, The idea that they, that anyone thought that that was going to play well with an audience. | |
| It was just, uh, that was rough. | |
| That was, that wasn't even a thing where it was like, you just watch a clip of it. | |
| That was just like the whole thing, like literally soup to nuts. | |
| The whole part of it was just wildly uncomfortable and racist because it was just, and, and this is the thing that like I've seen from so many. | |
| Republicans where they're like, Hey, Trump's making massive inroads to the | |
| black community by being indicted and selling sneakers. | |
| And it's just like, what are you on about me? | |
| Like literally all you're talking about is like stereotypes. | |
| Like this is such a, like just tactless, shitty, awful thing to be where you're | |
| just like, Hey man, I understand the blacks because of crime and shoes and | |
| what other things do black people enjoy? | |
| I will talk about them as well. | |
| And it's just like, man, like boy, howdy, what are we doing here? | |
| What is going on? | |
| And I mean, it's just really strange. | |
| It was, uh, that that speech was nuts. | |
| Uh, CPAC was, I don't know, less nuts, but equally as horrible. | |
| And it's, to me, it's just one of these things where it's like the more Trump gets in front of cameras nowadays, It's just wild how much he's deteriorated from 2016. | |
| It's just like the guy that was the candidate back then versus the guy they have now. | |
| Like Trump now just literally gets on stage, just looks at the teleprompter, goes through the motions, loses his train of thought repeatedly. | |
| Rambles. | |
| He's not even the character they imagined. | |
| It's just this vessel. | |
| It's just a thing that you're projecting your hopes and wishes upon. | |
| I read so much stuff from QAnon people who are like, oh man, the boss killed it tonight! | |
| And they show a clip. | |
| And it's just Trump and this dull monotone being like, we will crush the deep state. | |
| We will defeat the woke leftist agenda. | |
| We will make America great again and the most prosperous nation in the world. | |
| Thank you very much. | |
| Boom. | |
| I love you all. | |
| And then he does his little sort of dance where he moves his hands back and forth as though he's giving invisible handjobs. | |
| And then the crowd's just like, Oh my God, it's so magical. | |
| I wish we were getting those handjobs. | |
| Yes. | |
| Oh, if only the God Emperor's tiny hands were on my penis. | |
| Oh man. | |
| It'd be so bad. | |
| I'd make it look so big. | |
| Yeah. | |
| Exactly. | |
| The juiciest fruit hangs the lowest. | |
| It does. | |
| And the final breaking news that came out for Trump in the last hour or so was that he's supposed to put up most of the money for his appeal bond or whatever, and right now he's trying to negotiate with the court to only have to put up $100 million for the appeal instead of the full half a billion. | |
| Again, the Republicans tell me, oh, Donald Trump, the ultra billionaire, one of the richest men on God's green earth. | |
| It's like, why is a half billion not in his sofa cushions? | |
| Why is he currently pleading with the courts? | |
| Can I just give you a hundred million, please, so I can take care of this work for me and get this appeal process handled? | |
| It's like, why is he so desperate for money? | |
| The whole narrative behind his candidacy and presidency was that Donald Trump is so super rich he can't be bought, unlike Hillary Clinton, who would literally do anything for a dollar. | |
| You could bribe that broad six ways to Sunday because she just needs the cash because she's practically in the poor household, Hillary Clinton. | |
| But Donald Trump He's just got billions and billions in the bank. | |
| You can't touch that man. | |
| He can do whatever he wants. | |
| He's outside the constraints of capitalism and economic pressure. | |
| Because he's so wealthy he doesn't even know what to do with his cash. | |
| And yet now... | |
| Here we are with him hat in hand before the, uh, New York state, uh, courts being like, Hey, uh, can you shave off like $300 million from my bond appeal, please? | |
| Por favor. | |
| Can you take care of me on that one? | |
| I'd really appreciate that if you could do that for me. | |
| And it's like, man, maybe he isn't really a billionaire. | |
| Maybe he really doesn't have all this money. | |
| We've been told he has. | |
| Well, more on this Donald Trump bankruptcy and slide into senility as it develops. | |
| But for now, let's get to our listener, Mailberg! | |
| Our listeners got questions. | |
| We got answers. | |
| It's time for Q and A. Snorlax CPAP snuck this into a different thread, but they asked for this to be put into the mailbag. | |
| Biden's dog, Deep State or White Hat Commando led by God? | |
| Because if you hadn't heard the stories, like apparently a thing came out where there's been like 24 biting incidents involving Biden's dog. | |
| Biden's dog is just going hog wild on people around him. | |
| Here's my answer, and it's going to be incredibly unpopular because some people think these things don't exist. | |
| I'm just going to call it Bad Dog. | |
| You know? | |
| Bad Dog. | |
| Like, you're biting 20, 30 people, or 40, or however many it was. | |
| Was it 42, or was it 24? | |
| Some really high number. | |
| Like, double digits and more than 10. | |
| Dude, Bad Dog. | |
| I'm gonna say good dog because he's biting mostly like, like, like, uh, what is it? | |
| The, the, the, the, the, uh, Secret Service people. | |
| He's, he's biting. | |
| I don't care about that. | |
| He's, he's biting the Trump Secret Service people, so he's okay. | |
| I don't care. | |
| I'm gonna go to the Secret Service and just bite him. | |
| I don't care. | |
| That's funny. | |
| I, this thing is, is that I'm actually trying to frame this inside of the, um, the narrative of QAnon. | |
| So I have to go deep state. | |
| I have to imagine that inside the deep state narrative, you have these like beleaguered secret service agents. | |
| They wake up every morning and they, they hate that they have to protect the illegitimately elected president. | |
| That they know Joe Biden is a usurper who stole the presidency from The God Emperor, Donald Trump, God's chosen person. | |
| And then they show up to work and Biden's just like, Hey there, Smitty. | |
| Another day of watching my old ass. | |
| And Smitty's like, yes, Mr. President, sir. | |
| And then Biden just has an evil gleam in his eye. | |
| And he's like, Hey, commander says hello. | |
| And the guy's like, Oh no. | |
| And then the dog just mauls him. | |
| He's like. | |
| And then Biden and the dog just walk away and the guy's like led off to the hospital again. | |
| And he's just like, dark, dark Brandon and his feral demon hound just like hauling off and brutalizing people. | |
| So. | |
| I have to go deep state because, uh, I can't, I can't see the white hat action behind it. | |
| I mean, if, if commander was biting like other Democrats and stuff like that, then I could see them being a white hat, but no, it's just rank and file secret service dick bags who obviously QAnon would think are good people. | |
| So. | |
| I think that this dog is possibly protecting Joe Biden from yes, deep state actors who want to do him harm. | |
| Mm-hmm. | |
| Oh, you can go the other way with it. | |
| But yeah, well, that's the double reverse if those deep state actors don't know that it's Biden wearing a mask that they don't know it's James Woods. | |
| And like those people, those people are like, Oh, I'm gonna I'm gonna I've gotten into the Secret Service. | |
| I'm going to assassinate Biden to save the world and commanders like commanders like trying to give them the note like bro, bro. | |
| The Biden's on our team now. | |
| It's okay. | |
| It's like, it's like the reverse of the scene in Endgame when Captain America leans over and says hail Hydra to the Hydra agents and then takes the scepter. | |
| I mean, it's just like kind of that, but Commander unfortunately can't talk because he's a dog. | |
| Very good. | |
| Good dog. | |
| Thank you for the question. | |
| Mebat asks, favorite Bumblefuck from the influencers or pundit circles? | |
| Baby Q, Dinesh, the Krasinscenes, Jacob Wall, etc. | |
| I don't know that I have a favorite of these people because they're all, like, really terrible. | |
| I think that Baby Q is probably the most fucked up of them because that guy was really working it when he first got on the scene. | |
| That guy, like, DM'd me a bunch of photos of him working in front of, like, computer servers and shit. | |
| His whole grift is so transparently like obvious that he's just trying to scam people that don't | |
| have a very high level of intelligence or Media literacy where he's just like hey, I'm in the future. | |
| I'm Q and I'm sending codes back to myself in the past It's just like buddy. How do you say that with a straight | |
| face? | |
| Like you're just fucking lying to people and you know it so it just like I just find that guy to be | |
| like really distasteful so a Screw baby Q Dinesh is actually obviously the more | |
| dangerous of all these people because he's actually like a mainstream Republican | |
| Who is taken seriously by way too many people even though he's a total scumbag | |
| And his propaganda movies just reach the eyes of way too many people. | |
| Oh, absolutely. | |
| I mean, the number of people have been like, oh man, 2,000 mules proved the election was stolen. | |
| And it's like, how? | |
| And they're just like, it did. | |
| And it's like, oh god. | |
| It's like, no. | |
| Like, fuck you. | |
| Yeah, so I would say that of them, like, Baby Q is the most dishonest. | |
| Dinesh is obviously the most dangerous. | |
| The rest of the Krasensteins, they're just looking for money. | |
| They're just doing a thing. | |
| They're doing a bit. | |
| They're not big. | |
| And same with Jacob Wall. | |
| Although the difference between the crafts and scenes of Jacob | |
| Wall is that Jacob Wall will eventually end up in jail one day. | |
| Cause he's going to do a big boy crime. | |
| Whereas the crafts and scenes are just like grifters. | |
| They're just looking for a buck. | |
| Like you're not a serious person. | |
| If someone comes up to you and it's like, Hey, do you want to debate | |
| January 6th with Alex Jones? | |
| And you're like, I'm in! | |
| I mean, you'd better cut me a check and that check better have at least five figures on it before I would even remotely think of doing such a thing. | |
| I mean, like, I'm like... | |
| Like $40,000 and I'll fight Alex Jones in a live debate, but not even a penny less than that, because that's your dignity. | |
| People will probably be like, oh, Mike, that's weird. | |
| I'm like, dude, I need that money. | |
| But like, you offer me $39,000? | |
| I'm like, no, it's still not worth it. | |
| You have to hit my price point for me to be willing to start engaging in shit like that. | |
| It's just ridiculous. | |
| So yeah, that would be my take on those people. | |
| They all suck and are terrible and bad. | |
| I don't know any of these ding-dongs. | |
| My favorite idiot is 4G Auto Blow, because he's just such a uniquely stupid dum-dum. I love him so much. | |
| Oh, God! I don't think it was him that did this, but someone I saw on the QAnon griftosphere when I was | |
| scrolling through my timeline, they had a remix of Rihanna's S&M, or it was a parody remix | |
| where it was called, instead of that, It was just called Trump One, and I saw a list of right-wing rappers that were doing the song, and I was like, hard pass, I'm not gonna listen to you butcher a Rihanna song to salute your beloved orange daddy. | |
| It's like, boy howdy, you gotta be kidding me. | |
| Yeah. | |
| So finally, Patrick asks, when is Hayley going to a rally event and do a report about it? | |
| Or maybe a Hayley special about a chosen topic she's interested in other than Arizona? | |
| Would be fun, in my humble opinion. | |
| So your audience demands more content from you, Hayley. | |
| Give them more! | |
| I was doing some stuff this weekend, but it's not QAnon related, it's not right-wing related. | |
| I'll be doing some stuff this week, but it's again not QAnon related, not right-wing related. | |
| Maybe in a couple weeks I'll have some sauce for you. | |
| Haley contains multitudes, and those multitudes are not merely constrained to Hellworld. | |
| It's a chilly cook-off season, so Haley's doing a lot of judging. | |
| Yes, yes, yes. | |
| Oh man, you can feel it when they put that one drop of the source in it and turn it into firehouse chili. | |
| That's what it's all about. | |
| It's also rodeo season in Arizona, so you know, I got a lot of rodeo in to get in. | |
| You've got a lot of denim to wear. | |
| A lot of controversial discussions about whether or not Beyonce is country. | |
| Oh man, Rodeo Week in Vegas was always the greatest week, because man alive. | |
| Cowboys tipped good. | |
| I very much appreciated them for that week. | |
| At the Excalibur, where I worked, we had to wear the most hideous outfits. | |
| They were the worst uniforms on God's green earth that any human being has ever been forced to endure. | |
| But Cowboy Week, you were allowed to wear cowboy regalia for a week. | |
| You were allowed to wear blue jeans, a denim top with a bolo tie. | |
| You were allowed to dress cowboy for that week because the clientele was going to be so aggressively for the rodeo and for that event that you could suck up to them by wearing their gear. | |
| Some casinos will let you wear a football jersey on Sundays. | |
| That was another thing that they would do as a way to show your solidarity with sports bettors. | |
| But yeah, Cowboy Week was great. | |
| I always enjoyed Cowboy Week. | |
| Sadly, my funniest memory of Cowboy Week was there was this one customer that we had. | |
| He was the angriest dude in the world. | |
| We called him New York Brian because he was from New York and his name was Brian. | |
| We were incredibly creative. | |
| And that dude was just the angriest person that ever lived, and he sat down at a table of just eight happy cowboys, and fucking God did he kill the mood within two minutes. | |
| I mean, it was just like, flop came out, this cowboy put in a $25 bet, and Brian just looked at him and was like, see what you're doing. | |
| I get where this is going. | |
| I got you. | |
| I get it. | |
| And then he folded really angrily and just kept glaring at the cowboy. | |
| And you could just, like, feel everyone in the room just feel the tension of this angry dude just radiating off of them. | |
| And everyone at the table just went from being, like, happy and having a good time and partying to now just being, like, playing poker face down, quiet, no one saying anything. | |
| Because you just had this one guy that was just, like, super intense and very upset over losing $30 pots. | |
| It was just like, oh, shit. | |
| It's like, Brian, buddy, can you come back tomorrow when the cowboys are not here and not tipping great, and now you're fucking ruining it for me? | |
| I'd like to fucking cover my rent in the shift. | |
| It's like, oh my God. | |
| Yeah, so. | |
| Fuck off! | |
| You're pissing off the cowboys! | |
| Yes! | |
| They're America's tippers. | |
| Yes! | |
| Oh my god. | |
| Yeah, so, rodeo fans and cowboys in general, I salute you, because you took care of us when I lived out in Vegas. | |
| You were the best, so I appreciate you. | |
| And that brings us to our question, as always, at the end, which is, what are you guys looking forward to? | |
| You know, that's a fucking great question. | |
| Dune II, I guess, is the immediate answer that jumps to mind. | |
| There's a bunch of media coming out soon that I'm going to be consuming, but Dune II is the one that's coming out the soonest. | |
| Not counting Poor Things, which I'm finally going to watch after having been released for like three months now, but I wanted to wait until it was out on streaming because I couldn't wrangle anyone to go see it in theaters with me. | |
| So I guess I'm excited for movies. | |
| I'm going to be doing some... I'm seeing Poor Things, I think, Thursday night or Friday night with some friends and then | |
| next week after the initial rush we are gonna go see Denny Villeneuve's Dune 2 we're gonna have sex with our | |
| popcorn buckets as is the fashion of the meme and It's gonna be pretty nice | |
| And Haley, what are you looking forward to? | |
| There's an art show that opens up in like a week that I'm gonna go to | |
| That's something to look forward to. | |
| Yeah. | |
| Yes, absolutely. | |
| Are there any artists or exhibits that you're particularly excited for? | |
| It's a friend who's doing their exhibit, so I'm not going to dox, but it'll be fun. | |
| Cool. | |
| Cool. | |
| I am looking forward to the finale of The Floor, which apparently aired last night and thankfully it's not popular enough on social media to ruin it for me, but it is a very fun trivia show. | |
| It's very well paced if you've ever watched it and you enjoy trivia game show battles. | |
| It's a very well-made one. | |
| It's very well-made, and I enjoyed it. | |
| And they basically did a thing where they just aired episodes 9 and 10 back-to-back last night, so we got to find out who won it. | |
| That was the one drawback of the show, is that it's a season-long trivia battle. | |
| And every night, someone wins a small amount of money, but you have to watch the whole season to find out who wins the quarter million dollars at the end. | |
| So I get to find out who is the champion of The Floor. | |
| And it also makes me laugh, because that's literally my job. | |
| That's my title at work. | |
| People are like, Floor! | |
| But I have to run over and see whatever the problem is and handle it. | |
| Are you the champion of The Floor? | |
| The Floor, I have been good on a lot of the trivia challenges, but there are some subjects where they're just like, here's the topic and begin. | |
| I'm just like, nope, I have no idea. | |
| If this was my topic, and this was the battle I was involved in, I would be eliminated immediately. | |
| Like, I have no hope. | |
| Like, I would love to audition for the floor, because I could absolutely pick a few, like, subjects and categories I'd be very good on trivia in. | |
| But the problem with the show is that, as you fight, the topic you're fighting over changes, and you can literally just be handed a topic you just don't know, and you're just dead. | |
| Like, um... | |
| And sometimes they'll even tell the person, like, hey, you've inherited this topic. | |
| How do you feel about it? | |
| And the person will be like, not great, Bob. | |
| This ain't good. | |
| If I have to do an actual trivia fight on this subject, I'm eliminated. | |
| They're just letting people know, I'm low-hanging fruit. | |
| Come pick me. | |
| You can knock me out of this show so easy right now. | |
| No fuss. | |
| So that's where the survivor-style element of lying comes in. | |
| Are they secretly great at it? | |
| Oh, well, that was the thing, is that a lot of times they'd be like, hey, you've inherited this topic, and that person would be like, that topic's incredible. | |
| I'm so happy to have inherited it. | |
| Come at me, bro! | |
| And then again, the survivor would be like, are they bluffing? | |
| Do they really not like the topic? | |
| It's great. | |
| So yeah, it's there. | |
| There's like a, there's a fucking South Korean show. | |
| It's some sort of reality show that's sort of like, there's like a panel of like idols and stuff, like celebrities that are there judging. | |
| And then they'll just like trot somebody out on the stage. | |
| And the panel of successful musicians has to guess whether or not this person has talent. | |
| Like, is this just some random person who's about to do the world's worst karaoke rendition of a thing? | |
| Or are they secretly great at singing? | |
| And then it's like, wow, what a, what a beating. | |
| Hey, I got it. | |
| I'm there. | |
| I'm an old man. | |
| the show up there. They're just like, okay, okay, deliver us a classic style American Idol she bangs | |
| and then let's move on. There's a 30 year old reference for everybody. Well, 30s is a 20 year | |
| old reference for everybody. Hey, I got it. I'm there. I'm an old man. I'm an old I understand | |
| you. Speaking of old, uh, it is fucking getting long in the teeth of this show. So it's time for | |
| us to leave hell world. And And in salute of being old, let's get into, like, fucking old people rascal mobility scooters and put our way out of Hellworld for the week. | |
| Let's velcro our shoes and slowly shamble towards our velcro scooters. | |
| Hey man, I already velcroed my shoes, because that is a fat person trait, because my feet are enormous. | |
| Which is weird because, you know, they're not especially wide. | |
| They're wider than they need to be, but they're not especially wide. | |
| They're just done fucking long. | |
| Anyway, thank you listeners so much for listening to the show. | |
| If you're still here, again, can't imagine why you wouldn't be. | |
| If you'd like to continue supporting the show for free, but even harder, you can do so by giving us a 5-star review wherever your podcasts are from. | |
| By visiting that place, and then giving us a 5-star review. | |
| If you want to give us money, you can visit us at patreon.com slash poker politics where | |
| a $5 or more donation per month will get you access to our bevy of bonus content, including | |
| all the previous Q related pop media stuff we recorded when Sarge was still part of the | |
| crew and the currently running slash recently wrapped question mark series with Mike and | |
| Haley talking about the JFK assassination and who's it Rob Reiner's crazy podcast they're | |
| in or whatever. | |
| Yeah, good stuff. | |
| So there's a bunch of bonus content that you can join the beautifuller babies in the crib | |
| at patreon.com slash poker politics. | |
| Thank you so much, beautifuller babies! | |
| We love you. | |
| If you have money and you want to do some good with it, there are plenty of ways to do that, but what we always suggest is visiting love146.org. | |
| They are an organization whose vision is the end of child trafficking and exploitation, and that has always sounded pretty neat to us. | |
| Thanks as always for the use of our original intro song remix accidentally by Mike Rains goes to DJ Minimal Effort who is a cool guy who still knows social media but did congratulate me on completing an honor mode playthrough of Baldur's Gate 3 the other day by saying that he saw that I had a massive penis. | |
| So thanks DJ Minimal Effort if you ever hear this you're right I do have a massive penis. | |
| Thanks as always to Frosty, the voice of our bumps, the voice of Q, and any other stuff we need when we need voiceover work. | |
| You can find them on BlueSky at FrostyVO. | |
| You can find the show on Twitter at HellWorld with a Q instead of an O. You can find Hayley on various social media platforms at Arizona Right Watch, and Mike Rains on various social media platforms, of course, at PokerPolitics, and me, technically, on BlueSky at MysteriousAl, although all I do there is piss and moan about stuff I don't like, and it has nothing to do with QAnon. | |
| So, be warned, my babies! | |
| Anyway, for another successful episode of the Adventures in Hell World Podcast, I've been one of your hosts, The Mysterious El, joined as always by Haley, aka Arizona Right Watch, and our expert at all things QAnon crazy, Mike Rains, aka Poker and Politics. |