This week we celebrate Trump losing 83 million dollars and brace for Civil War 2.0. Also Haley covers all the drama going on in Arizona and boy is there a lot of it. Get bonus content on PatreonSupport this show http://supporter.acast.com/hellwqrld. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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| 🎵 Outro Music 🎵 Content Warning. | |
| The Adventures in Hellworld podcast talks in depth about QAnon, which means we have to talk about all kinds of child abuse and violence against people. | |
| Listener discretion advised. | |
| Hello, everybody. | |
| I am Mike Rains, a.k.a. | |
| Poker and Politics, and welcome to another episode of Adventures in Hellworld. | |
| This week, I am joined as always by Haley, a.k.a. | |
| Arizona Right Watch. | |
| Hello, everybody. | |
| Hello, listeners. | |
| We were just talking about Goatsy. | |
| You guys remember Goatsy? | |
| That was funny. | |
| Yes, it was. | |
| Not the Goatsy. | |
| It's just Mike's story was funny. | |
| Yes. | |
| And I'm joined by the Mysterious L. Nice cocks, bros. | |
| It's me, the Mysterious L. Yeah, that's right. | |
| You were expecting me to say something about the beautiful babies, but instead I jumped in there with the nice cock, bro. | |
| Well, someone's feeling really good about that right now. | |
| Someone was feeling a little bit down about their cock, and then you just said, nice cock, bro. | |
| And they're like, you know what? | |
| Things are looking up. | |
| Yeah, normalize complimenting your bro's sweet package, you know? | |
| If it's worth noting, it's worth complimenting. | |
| I agree. | |
| I agree. | |
| But yes, hello, my beautiful babies. | |
| It's me, the mystery El. | |
| I'm feeling kind of spicy and punchy today, probably on account of that I've had a lot of coffee. | |
| I'm all caffeinated, baby! | |
| I'm currently drinking coffee. | |
| I made it right before we went on, because I was running a bit late. | |
| That is a hilarious soundbite, because you couldn't have sounded more like Dario. | |
| You're just like, I'm currently drinking coffee. | |
| It's like, wow, it's a real pick-me-up. | |
| And I'm smoking. | |
| I couldn't be more alike. | |
| I mean, the classic combo, dude, right? | |
| Like, you know, it turns out that there is just something about drinking coffee and smoking. | |
| I just like it when my mouth feels like an ashtray, you know? | |
| Honestly, I thought you were just going to kind of stop at feels. | |
| Like, I just kind of like it when my mouth feels. | |
| And I was going to be like, yeah, dude, I kind of, dude, I get that. | |
| You know, you're kind of right, actually. | |
| I do like it. | |
| Yeah, I mean, like, look, I wouldn't be nearly as fat as I am if I didn't like all of the process of eating. | |
| It's not just about, like, a taste and then, oh, my tum-tum feels full. | |
| If that was it, I mean, that'd be easy to manage. | |
| But, like, dude, the process of, like, the texture of it and the swallowing of it and stuff, it's just so fun. | |
| And I guess that can apply to a lot of things, too, including sexy time! | |
| If you get what I'm saying. | |
| You know, you are not incorrect for that as a fact. | |
| Yeah, dude. | |
| I mean, although, yeah. | |
| You know what? | |
| We don't need to go down that road. | |
| This is not the podcast for that. | |
| We need to save that for, like, our sex-positive, like, sex therapy podcast, where we were also just a comedy show that was totally not... We're totally not therapists. | |
| Yeah, we'll save that for Hellworld After Dark. | |
| That'll be our... Oh my god, Hellworld After Dark! | |
| You should! | |
| Dude, now you're talking about bonus content I can get behind. | |
| Let's talk about real shit. | |
| Let's talk about all the cool sex stuff conservatives are afraid of. | |
| And also things that they are kind of into, because sometimes, you know, you'll see sexual health being promoted by like, some of the Turning Point USA women, because they do like kind of wellness podcasts sometimes. | |
| And some of the shit they get into, I'm like, is that safe? | |
| You know, they do, they tackle like sex and health education, but from a really, really skewed standpoint. | |
| And I think that could be an interesting conversation to be had. | |
| And it could get into some spicy territory. | |
| Yeah, so if our beautiful babies out there are just so horny for it, let us know. | |
| Maybe a Hellworld After Dark. | |
| Hellworld After Dark. | |
| We'll have like a, we'll have a special, we'll have like how the JFK one has a special intro, we'll do a Hellworld After Dark one. | |
| Dude, long-time listeners of the show know that we're absolutely shameless here. | |
| We don't give a fuck. | |
| The only reason, if it seems like we have shame, it's just because we prefer to sort of at least try to stay relatively on topic, despite the fact we've carved out some time during every episode to talk about whatever the fuck we'd like. | |
| And then eventually- We are punk, so we have no shame. | |
| Yeah, I mean, I don't know if I, I feel like I'm too receptive to the idea | |
| of selling out to truly be punk. | |
| I'm like a punk ally. | |
| I'm like, yeah, rock on, be punk. | |
| But if somebody comes up to me with enough of a bag, I'm just like, all right, punks, see you later. | |
| I'm out. | |
| Like, I'm ready to be comfortable, baby. | |
| In so much as I believe that to be punk you really have to not be that receptive to the idea of selling out, I prefer to out-label myself as a punk ally. | |
| I'm like, I'm right there with ya! | |
| But I don't have it in me to actually be 100% committed to the cause, I'm sorry. | |
| I'm sorry, I'm weak! | |
| I'm committed to the cause up until the moment I get the bag, at which point I am no longer with the cause. | |
| Yeah, but just think about how much good I could do with the bag. | |
| I am the one person in history that will not let money corrupt them. | |
| I will do mad good with it. | |
| Nobody's ever had that line of thinking before. | |
| The thing is that some people out there doing good work with their money, they're just doing it mad quietly. | |
| Didn't Jeff Bezos' ex immediately just start fire sale giving away her money as soon as she got it? | |
| I'm sure there are people out there who are doing a ton of great charitable work with their money, but at the end of the day, it's just like... | |
| I don't know. | |
| A billionaire? | |
| Really? | |
| You can't find a way to get yourself under that billion? | |
| Like, just be the top level of hundred millionaire and make sure that anything over the billy gets... I don't know. | |
| Billionaires that are currently listening to this podcast, please fund the pod and also please fund your local art scene. | |
| Thank you. | |
| Yeah, absolutely. | |
| Channel some of your billions of dollars to make us millionaires, which will make us rich, and then, again, I'll prove it. | |
| We'll prove it! | |
| We'll be the first good ones ever! | |
| Here we go! | |
| Time to be good and rich! | |
| Yeah, if you get rich enough, too, you just have influence upon your local politician, because they're weak, and they're spineless. | |
| So, just flash that dollar-dollar bills in front of some of them, and then tell them what to do. | |
| Well, our elected officials are supposed to be, like, the best of us, right? | |
| Yeah. | |
| What I love about every political corruption scandal, the dollar amount is so insignificant. | |
| It's like, really? | |
| That's all it takes to buy one of these people? | |
| That's terrible. | |
| It's like when you hear these true crime podcasts or whatever, when some dumb idiot gets caught on a hot mic talking about their plans to get their wife assassinated. | |
| It's just like, All right. | |
| $2,500 now. | |
| $2,500 when it's done. | |
| It's like $5,000?! | |
| Are you out of your fucking mind to kill someone?! | |
| Like, get the fuck out of here! | |
| What?! ! | |
| I remember some true crime pod where I don't like a show where like this guy had his friend. | |
| They were all old. | |
| It was like old dude wants to kill his old wife. | |
| So he gets his old friend to go over to kill her. | |
| And it was like for peanuts. | |
| He offered the guy like, I don't know, like 500 or $1,000 to go kill his wife. | |
| And the guy was so inept at it that she ended up killing him in self-defense. | |
| And then afterwards, then the husband got arrested. | |
| And then she sued her husband for $500. | |
| Yes! | |
| Exactly. | |
| Yeah, after her husband went to jail for trying to kill her, she was like, I want all your | |
| assets, all $2,000. | |
| All $2,000 of them. | |
| Thank you. | |
| They are now mine. | |
| Yeah, I mean, again, my price is pretty high relative to the willingness I put out there to sell out or whatever. | |
| The idea that you would take some sort of small amount of money to take someone else's life is insane to me. | |
| I guess we do have military and they just like pull a regular ass salary to do it like in numbers you know there's a there's a guy there's a guy fucking rocking a minigun like on the side of one of those Blackhawk night helicopters they'll just destroy a whole fucking village and then he goes up and like he's just like ah time to cash my paycheck and he's like oh sweet 80 grand Well, the other thing is that at least that guy is doing that without the threat of prosecution. | |
| I mean, the whole thing about someone offering me $5,000 to kill somebody, it's like, A, I don't want to kill anyone and B, I can go to jail for life because I'm not very good at murdering. | |
| I don't know that I can do this and get away with it. | |
| I'm probably going to screw it up and I'm going to get caught. | |
| So, I mean... I don't know, Mike. | |
| You're a pretty bright dude. | |
| I'm willing to bet that at some point over your life, you've had the... You've had the thud. | |
| I've had the thud. | |
| We've all had the thud. | |
| You could do it better than the rest of these chumps. | |
| Like, you've seen... At some point, you've seen, like, a true crime thing, and you're just like, that guy was a moron. | |
| He was like, I can't... This is... Like, out of the... That was where he fucked up, you know? | |
| I could probably do this a little bit better. | |
| I've never known anyone who wasn't just like, like generally bright and just like, you know, the same sort of people who are always trying to like, who after you're done playing a board game want to talk about the mechanics of the board game. | |
| Those sort of people I feel like see these true crime things and sometimes they're just like, bro, here's how I would have done that and it would have been clean. | |
| And does that make us bad people? | |
| Absolutely. | |
| We all suck. | |
| Everybody is the worst. | |
| But we manage. | |
| We soldier on. | |
| Because you have to really, really elevate yourself to the top of badness to get on the radar of a bad human. | |
| All of our internal impulses are just so negative. | |
| Pretty much. | |
| The fact that society works at all is kind of a miracle, because it means that, you know, like, I wouldn't say that everyone's inherently good or anything, but I also would say that generally, as a society, we've managed to put a pretty good mask over it. | |
| I think it's mostly just that people just want to get through the day without any shit happening to them. | |
| And we've just created a social contract where it's like, please don't touch me, especially don't touch me violently or aggressively, and everything's going to work smoothly. | |
| And since we've all kind of agreed to that level, Then we're pretty much good. | |
| And that's basically the moment where we actually created society. | |
| Where we just stopped punching and groping each other whenever we got into each other's line of sight. | |
| Everybody should have to put on a VR helmet at the very least to simulate waiting for a public bus in a major metropolitan city. | |
| Like, because that's really throwing yourself into the uncomfy fire. | |
| There's like people, there's constantly people around you and a lot of them are willing to like get into your personal space or talk to you when you don't want to. | |
| And I feel like people could really use that training. | |
| Cause like, it's just, it's just a good way. | |
| It's, it's like, you know, having to work food service or retail or whatever. | |
| It just like, it does help you be a little bit more cognizant of just like the, the, the social, the social underpinnings of our society. | |
| Yeah. | |
| Oh. | |
| You don't know how the world works until you've seen a guy literally threatened to go to the Gaming Commission because he got screwed out of a $10 bet in Blackjack. | |
| The things that set people off in this world are truly incredible. | |
| It is a rich tapestry of humanity that I've engaged in in my life. | |
| You haven't lived until you've experienced the thrill of being a captive audience to a lady desperately begging you for a Nintendo Wii that you don't have and telling you all about her child's cancer. | |
| Oh my god. | |
| That was an incredible day. | |
| That sounds so goddamn dark. | |
| Yeah, that was a good one. | |
| She's just like, you know, the cancer is so bad, he just wants a Wii. | |
| And I'm just like, dude, like, I get it. | |
| Cancer is the worst. | |
| I don't have a Wii for you. | |
| I mean, and I'm not Sandy Claus. | |
| I don't know what to tell you. | |
| Like, the Wii is not here. | |
| I do not have one. | |
| Uh, sucks about the cancer. | |
| Also got nothing for that. | |
| But I am 22. | |
| Or whatever. | |
| Like, please. | |
| Please stop talking to me. | |
| Please just leave me alone. | |
| This is so awkward. | |
| There is nothing worse than that. | |
| I have to go ruin somebody else's Christmas. | |
| That Christmas was the worst, dude. | |
| Everybody wanted the same thing and there was none of it. | |
| Oh, yeah. | |
| Being a captive audience is the absolute worst. | |
| My job has made me a captive audience for decades now. | |
| So it's just like, yup, time to hear about your bad beat story. | |
| Yup, time to hear about how Obama and the Democrats are going to destroy America. | |
| Whatever it is. | |
| I have to just sit here and nod and smile politely at you, old white man, as you piss and moan about some plight that has befallen you, be it in the casino itself or in your life in general. | |
| And it's like, yeah, sorry to hear that, sir. | |
| So. | |
| Yeah, at least our audience could just stop fucking, they're not captive. | |
| They could just check out whenever we get boring or we start talking about something incredibly weird, or they could scroll forward, or they can rewind if they need a run back, if they're just like, wow. | |
| Really need to hear that opinion again. | |
| What a hot take. | |
| So brave. | |
| Okay, let's move on to our first actual segment for the show, the Amuse-Bouche. | |
| It's time for a light sampling of insanity. | |
| Get ready for the Amuse-Bouche. | |
| Donald Trump got punitively pounded. | |
| And his, uh, ongoing, uh, case, or, like, you know, the, the, the ripples of the, uh, of the case, uh, against, what's it, E.E. | |
| Carroll King, J. Carroll, E.J. | |
| Carroll King, J. Elvis. | |
| Yeah. | |
| What's her name? | |
| I could, I could, I could never get it right. | |
| It's like Earl Stein. | |
| It's a E. Jane Carroll, I believe, is her name. | |
| There we go. | |
| Close enough. | |
| At the very least, I passed the ball over to Mike. | |
| So if he fumbles it, that's on him. | |
| Way to go, Mike! | |
| Or congratulations, Mike. | |
| One of the two. | |
| Yeah. | |
| When Hayley jumps in with her real name, I'm going to feel so bad. | |
| I'm sorry, it's like Eugene Carroll, isn't it? | |
| Yeah, Haley doesn't know either. | |
| I saw her scroll the internet in the reflection of her incredible glasses. | |
| I'm not looking at this story, this is my story. | |
| I'm looking at my story to make sure I have the facts before I go up, you know? | |
| I don't want to flub. | |
| We're a very professional podcast. | |
| Everybody loves this part of the show. | |
| Yeah, the part where we talk about how the sausage is made, but the sausage isn't even real journalism because we're a comedy show. | |
| Anyway, Donald Trump owes that person, whose name we probably got in all of our guesses, a huge sum of money, with possible more money to come. | |
| And for more of that, I will of course turn it over to Mike. | |
| Eugene Carroll. | |
| There we go. | |
| Nailed it. | |
| Yeah. | |
| So, um, first try. | |
| Yes. | |
| So Trump was, Trump had, he had already been found guilty of sexually assaulting the woman. | |
| And now he was being sued for defamation where he was insulting her while he was president. | |
| And this was again, a, uh, this was a damages hearing. | |
| Trump had already lost by default judgment. | |
| And the jury came back and said between the punitive damages and the damages to her reputation, the total sum came out to about $83 million. | |
| And the best part about this is, is that at the start of this whole thing, she asked for a $5 million settlement from Trump and his lawyers, and Trump and his elite team of lawyers We're like, screw your $5 million dollar settlement, we will re-raise you an $83 million dollar settlement. | |
| Okay, Mike, but it is important to note that one of them is pretty hot, and that was all anybody seemed to care about. | |
| So, bully for her, she was hot. | |
| Yes. | |
| Those tweets were truly something. | |
| Yes. | |
| Miss Habba, the lawyer for Trump that didn't actually do courtroom law, She managed to screw this thing up really badly. | |
| And the funniest part about all of this is watching QAnon and right-wing grifters everywhere saying, oh, this verdict is ridiculous. | |
| It'll be overturned on appeal. | |
| There's no way this travesty will stand. | |
| And actual real lawyers have said that Haba's work in the trial was so terrible that there's really no grounds to appeal because Basically, when you're in a trial, you know you're going to lose, but you want to make an appeal. | |
| You work hard to say that the judge is fucking something up somewhere in some way. | |
| So when the prosecuting attorney or the plaintiff's attorney is like, I want to introduce this piece of evidence into the record. | |
| You announce an objection, and then the judge overrules you, and then they put the evidence in the record. | |
| And then on appeal, you can say, the judge got that wrong. | |
| The judge should not have allowed that evidence into the case because yin and yang. | |
| But pretty much every piece of evidence that the plaintiff's lawyers wanted to put into the trial, HABA was like, no objections. | |
| That's totally cool. | |
| Put it in there. | |
| You got it. | |
| Whatever evidence you want to present against my client, I'm cool with it. | |
| And that means that the whole basis for an appeal is taken away because at no point during the trial did you say, yo, judge, you're screwing this up. | |
| You are making a terrible mistake that is unacceptable and the judge is like, it's my courtroom, I can do whatever I want. | |
| And then you go to the appeals court and you list off the litany of things you objected to and goes, these were mistakes, this was a horrible screw-up by this dumb judge. | |
| And then the appeals court goes, you're right, smart lawyer, verdict overturned or whatever. | |
| And then you go, yes, I won because I'm a good lawyer. | |
| And Haba did exactly none of that. | |
| So there is no appeal like really possible because there's no grounds for it. | |
| And on top of that, Trump would have to like pony up a ton of money to show that he's capable of paying off his settlement in order to be able to secure the appeal. | |
| And as a lot of people have pointed out, our alleged billionaire of a former president probably doesn't have a lot of money handy to do such a thing. | |
| So In every way, shape, and form, Trump is screwed on this $83 million verdict. | |
| And the fun part about this is, is this is not the worst news he's going to get this week, because literally any minute now, he's about to get hit with the judgment against him for the Trump business fraud scandal that, again, they defaulted and lost already. | |
| And the judge is supposed to walk into the courtroom any moment now and tell Trump How much Trump Corp owes the state of New York and if Trump Corp will be dissolved in the eyes of New York. | |
| So just winning all around for our beloved former president. | |
| Just a great, great couple of days for him. | |
| I'm sure that the spin on all this stuff is going to have to be legendarily savvy. | |
| Just kidding. | |
| I bet they're just going to be like, rigged, it's rigged, everyone's rigged. | |
| They're all in on it. | |
| Deep State rigged. | |
| And that is just how that goes. | |
| And you know how I know that? | |
| Because that's the exact same narrative going around regarding our precious National Football League as we head into the big game. | |
| Please don't sue. | |
| Exactly right. | |
| The NFL is totally scripted and also a little bit racist, depending on who you talk to. | |
| So, for the skinny on this, let's turn it back over to Mike. | |
| Just kidding! | |
| Haley, talk about the NFL! | |
| Wouldn't that be something? | |
| I don't know the team, but I hear that this is going to be big. | |
| I hear that this is movie magic. | |
| I hear that the Jock got the girl, and I hear that the girl is beautiful, and I hear that when the big game happens, there's going to be a beautiful superstar there, and he's going to get down on one knee and propose, and it's going to create the baby boom that America's been looking for. | |
| I've been hearing all kinds of this kind of shit, but I can't tell you anything except It's Taylor Swift. | |
| Travis Kelsey? | |
| Yep. | |
| This is his name? | |
| Those are the two teams at the Super Bowl. | |
| I don't know the sports team he's with. | |
| Is it the Lions? | |
| Nope, they're dead. | |
| Okay, who is it? | |
| They're more racist than Lions. | |
| Is it the Chiefs? | |
| It is the Chiefs, yes. | |
| Okay, okay. | |
| Interesting, interesting backdrop to our romance. | |
| That's all I know. | |
| I keep hearing it from that sense. | |
| I hear that the numbers of the NFL are booming because of Taylor Swift. | |
| I hear that we have Taylor Swift mania in America right now. | |
| This is the American story. | |
| This is for the Americans. | |
| They love this shit. | |
| It's the pop star that people love for some reason, and it's the sport that people love for some reason, and it's just two things. | |
| That's all I know about it, but that's all I know about sports, so that's all you're gonna get out of me. | |
| I don't know anything except this is America's story, and everybody's captivated by it. | |
| But also, it's a psyop. | |
| You know what, Hailey? | |
| Have you ever seen American Idol or any of those other trashy reality TV shows? | |
| I've seen 90 Day Fiancé. | |
| I've seen American Idol as a kid but only when it was like the round where it's like everybody's bad and they're kind of doing tryouts. | |
| So you might not understand what I say with that. | |
| That was like a perfect middle chair response. | |
| There was like a formula to the panel on those where it was just like the first person would usually be like sort of relentlessly positive and then the middle person would just sort of say nothing. | |
| And then the last person would just be sort of mean, and that was where Simon Cowell was. | |
| And that was like the fourth one for a long time. | |
| Who was the nothing character? | |
| Was that Paula? | |
| It was Paula at points. | |
| I can't remember the other fellow's name who was on it back in the day. | |
| Randy Jackson? | |
| Yeah, that was him. | |
| Randy Jackson and you were a little pitchy. | |
| That was his big... | |
| Yeah, like, you know, usually soft on criticism, but just saying, like, you know, being like, you really put an energy to it. | |
| It was great. | |
| Like, doing a thing is tough. | |
| And being a person is wise. | |
| And believe in stars. | |
| And everybody is achieving the belief. | |
| All right. | |
| But you did get some parts of it right. | |
| It is the American story. | |
| And that is why it is obviously rigged. | |
| And for more actual information, I'll turn it over to Mike. | |
| Mike. | |
| Mike Simon Cowell reigns here. | |
| Yeah, time to be bitter and hateful. | |
| Let's go! | |
| So, the Kansas City Chiefs defeated the Baltimore Ravens this week, which was pretty surprising to me. | |
| Baltimore was supposed to be the better team, but they choked. | |
| Are you calling it rigged? | |
| No. | |
| No, I'm not. | |
| But what I am saying is that Baltimore- Also, supposed to be the better team is incredibly relative when you're talking about the team that's about to be crowned the new dynasty of football. | |
| Oh, I know. | |
| But this year, that's the thing is the Chiefs had the history and the tradition and they've won a couple of Super Bowls recently. | |
| They won last year's Super Bowl. | |
| But this year, Baltimore was head and shoulders the best team in the NFL. | |
| And then, this was supposed to be Baltimore's coming out party, where they were supposed to dethrone the old, weakened, fallen king, and then claim the throne for themselves. | |
| And finally reveal to the world that they're gay. | |
| We're all gay! | |
| Oh, that would have been so great. | |
| That would have been the best. | |
| But sadly, Baltimore did none of these things. | |
| Baltimore decided to just not really show up, not really play any offense, let the Chiefs get out to a quick early lead, and then just lose. | |
| And the funny thing is, is if you actually watched the game, it was incredibly frustrating watching Baltimore screw up opportunity after opportunity, and the Chiefs just clinging to their... American football, for those of you who don't know, is generally, the winning team scores anywhere from like 24 to like 35 points. | |
| It's, again, between the mid-20s and the mid-30s is generally a winning score. | |
| Kansas City got to a whopping 17 points. | |
| Early in the game and then decided that's it. | |
| We're cool. | |
| We're cool with 17 and Baltimore in response was 17 is a bridge way too far for us. | |
| We can't even make it to the meteoric heights of 17 points. | |
| So the second half of that game was just watching Baltimore try and fail over and over again to do anything. | |
| And eventually the clock ran out and they lost and That was what really happened, but the right wing in America right now has decided that that is not what happened. | |
| What really happened was the game was rigged. | |
| It was set up by the Illuminati, whoever they are, George Soros, so on and so on, and that Taylor Swift and Travis Kelsey are a manufactured relationship that was put together by the New World Order to encourage young women to vote for Joe Biden. | |
| Because in 2020, Taylor Swift had the audacity to post a photo to social media where she made cookies that had Biden-Harris frosting on them. | |
| And that was very unacceptable to right-wingers everywhere. | |
| And this year, recently, she posted- Why does music get so political? | |
| Oh my God. | |
| Get your politics out of my music, says the right-winger as they head back- First Green Day, now this? | |
| What'd you say, Hayley? | |
| I said first Green Day and now this. | |
| Yes, oh yeah. | |
| Right wingers whining about the politics and their music as they head back to Rage Against the Machine. | |
| So earlier this year, Taylor Swift also posted a link to a voter registration site and it was | |
| immediately flooded with people running in to register to vote. | |
| And this made the right-wingers very angry, because the last thing they want is Swifties actually caring about politics and voting, because they're young women, and they would probably figure out that one political party fucking hates them, and the other political party likes them. | |
| And they're probably going to vote for the party that likes them. | |
| And as a result, like, this is bad. | |
| So, um, on the lowest side of this, on the, on like the quote unquote serious right winger side, it's just sort of like this Taylor Swift is inorganic and she's being propped up by like shadowy figures that want people to like her and make her popular, which is wrong and bad. | |
| Whereas on the nut ball side, uh, Taylor Swift is like a clone of Anton LaVey's daughter or something. | |
| There's a lot... Hello! | |
| Now we're talking. | |
| Yes. | |
| Yes. | |
| Yeah. | |
| I had a guy DM me and he was just sort of like, you're bad and I don't like you. | |
| And I was like, okay, I appreciate your hatred of me. | |
| That's fine. | |
| And I went through his timeline and he had a photo of Taylor Swift along with a this LeVay lady, Zina LeVay, I believe it's Anton LeVay's | |
| daughter and the caption he has for this is clone. So he is just Taylor Swift and Zina LeVay are clones. So the literal | |
| Church of Satan is just creating doppelgangers to then marry off | |
| to famous tight ends on football teams so that they can I don't | |
| know spread Satanism. | |
| Because that's a thing that people actually do in this world. | |
| And so... | |
| This has also created a backlash where now the whole NFL is rigged. | |
| This whole thing's a scam. | |
| It's all bullshit. | |
| The Chiefs are just going to win the Super Bowl because the liberals want them to. | |
| And then after the game, basically as Haley said, Kelsey's going to propose to Taylor. | |
| She's going to say yes. | |
| They're going to cry on each other's shoulders. | |
| Then she's going to start waving a Biden-Harris flag and she's going to tell everybody to vote for Joe Biden. | |
| He's going to say, don't forget to take Pfizer, everybody. | |
| Yeah. | |
| Oh, yeah. | |
| And, uh, yeah. | |
| Kelsey's going to demand everybody get their booster shots and all that good stuff. | |
| And it's just this ridiculous narrative about how, like, literally they're going to poison the minds of Americans and they're going to make Joe Biden win the election. | |
| via this endorsement between between Swift and Kelsey. | |
| DC Drano, who is a right wing moron who posts a ton of shit on Twitter. | |
| You can say grifter. | |
| Yeah, he's just a grifter. | |
| Just your standard grifter. | |
| And he declared that literally, like, Conservatives and right-wingers now have to back the San Francisco 49ers in this game, which is hilarious. | |
| That the team from San Francisco, ocean blue California, and San Francisco, like literally that cesspool of liberalism they hate. | |
| Wasn't that Kaepernick's team? | |
| Yes, that was Kaepernick's team. | |
| Sports! | |
| I did it. | |
| Way to sportsball, Hayley. | |
| You're the best. | |
| I just sportsed all over the place. | |
| It was nice. | |
| I was looking forward to seeing your sports face. | |
| Thank you. | |
| DC Drado posted, Dear San Francisco 49ers, I know we've been roasting your city for years, but I am offering a two-week truce. | |
| No more jokes about poop on the streets. | |
| As a representative of whom, exactly? | |
| I know that we, the people of Earth, have been attacking your city, but as their representative, elected by myself, I want to give you a truce. | |
| Fuck your truce, and fuck San Francisco 9. | |
| It's literally just, though, like, we will stop making fun of that one black player. | |
| We will stop making racial commentary about that one black player a decade ago for two weeks to shit all over this woman. | |
| Well, Hayley, I'm glad you finally brought up black people, because it turns out that this whole narrative, Mike is missing the biggest point of all, which is that they just got Lily White Blood-haired, blue-eyed, Taylor Swift there to make the fact that the NFL would never allow the teams from Detroit and Baltimore, the two blackest teams, to make it into the Super Bowl. | |
| That is never going to happen. | |
| They do not want that. | |
| They can't handle an all-black Super Bowl. | |
| Okay. | |
| That was the narrative I was seeing on TikTok. | |
| I saw some people with that actual spicy take. | |
| They were people of color, for the record, so they are allowed to think shit is racist because their whole lives, historically, everything has been racist. | |
| The narrative is racist. | |
| If the normie belief is that football and all this is rigged in the way that people think wrestling is, then yeah, people will have commentary on it in the sense that it feels racist that this is a very Most American tale. | |
| You know, the funny part is one of the TikToks I saw that the guy, the guy proposing the conspiracy theory, he sounded like a good old boy. | |
| I think he may have even been wearing a straw hat. | |
| But he was just like, he was like, yo, you're really thick. | |
| They were like, it's like he was walking on a, like on a farm or whatever. | |
| Like he was just like, I was like, you were like, I was like, dude, you sound like you're, you're about to fucking start crooning the Richmond North of Richmond on me. | |
| That's fucking crazy. | |
| I think this whole thing is interesting, too, just because... | |
| If Taylor Swift was a right-winger, this would not be the conversation. | |
| They would love it. | |
| They would love if she was a right-winger. | |
| They would love that they had achieved such a cultural icon. | |
| That's crazy. | |
| That would be a hypocrisy. | |
| I don't know. | |
| Yeah, I know. | |
| Because that's why they latch on to, like, Gary Busey. | |
| And, like, I don't know. | |
| Rob Schneider. | |
| Yeah, Dean Cain or something. | |
| I don't know. | |
| I'm sorry if Dean Cain's not one of them. | |
| No, he is. | |
| Dean Cain's absolutely one of them. | |
| Yeah, Rob Schneider. | |
| Yeah, they love it when they get their hands on even, like, when they get a D-Lister, they're pumping the fist. | |
| Like, yeah, the D-List! | |
| Boom! | |
| Oh, they were so happy when they had Gina Carano, and then she torched her career by being, like, a total nut. | |
| By just outing herself. | |
| Right. | |
| She was like, I'm one of them! | |
| And everyone was like, ugh, no. | |
| No more fame for you. | |
| That's why they don't get to go above D-List. | |
| Like, if they think that... | |
| That's just regular politics, baby, but they want to spin it as some sort of grand cabal conspiracy theory. | |
| It's like, no, dude, it just turns out that it pays to be liberal. | |
| That's where the money's at, dude. | |
| If I could flip your politics and get that bag, my brothers and sisters on the red, flip over to blue, that is where the bag is, come over to here, go woke, get that bag, stack that paper. | |
| Come on! | |
| It's pretty nice over here. | |
| We're tolerant and a lot of people are getting rich at the expense of poors. | |
| Same as on your side. | |
| Yeah. | |
| So finishing Mr. Drano's thought, he said, for the next two weeks, 99% of America will be on the Niners side. | |
| In return, you must defeat the Chiefs. | |
| If you don't, Mr. Pfizer and his girlfriend are going to tour the country as world champions, helping elect Joe Biden. | |
| World War III will likely follow in a second Biden term and millions will die. | |
| The fate of the world rests upon your shoulders. | |
| No pressure. | |
| So literally, if the 49ers lose this game, the world ends, according to Mr. Drano. | |
| I hope he's right! | |
| That'd be really exciting. | |
| I'm here for it. | |
| Prescient thoughts. | |
| Hopefully. | |
| Maybe. | |
| Maybe not. | |
| Anyway, enough of that horseshit. | |
| Real quick, Mike, I got two hypotheticals for you. | |
| One, I'm sure that there's a line on it somewhere, but if you had to put a bet on the proposal, do you think it's going to happen? | |
| Yeah or nay? | |
| I would say nay. | |
| I would put the line on the proposal at like plus 400, like 4 to 1 against it, because I just feel like it's the kind of spot that would be so kitschy. | |
| And I don't know if either one of them would really want to do that in that situation. | |
| And there's the possibility that they actually, like, lose the game. | |
| I mean, is that really a possibility? | |
| So yeah, I'm with you on that one. | |
| Sounds like a crazy thing. | |
| But, a crazy thing that I think is actually slightly more likely to happen... If the Chiefs win, what do you think the odds are somebody tries to hand Taylor Swift the trophy? | |
| Uh, 100%. | |
| 100% at some point. | |
| And follow up question, do you think that she is savvy enough to not take it? | |
| To be like, I have some fucking loot that I got! | |
| Hell no! | |
| If I can photograph all of that thing, like, that is gonna be horrible for a lot, like, it's gonna be a lot. | |
| Um, I think if anyone but Travis gives her the trophy, she will not take it. | |
| I think if Travis was holding the Lombardi and then at some point he offers it to her, she might take it from her boyfriend. | |
| I think she would hold it in that situation. | |
| But if like, This is such a funny conversation. | |
| I feel like we're talking about high schools, though. | |
| This shouldn't matter at all, but, dude, like, sports fans... I know, I know it does. | |
| It does for so many reasons. | |
| Sports fans are banana pants. | |
| If she's holding that trophy, like, people are gonna lose their fucking minds, and I'm gonna have to hear about it for, like, days. | |
| Everyone will. | |
| There'll be symbolism in it. | |
| Everybody will be baking it. | |
| Everybody's gonna bake every single microsecond of this entire interaction. | |
| Okay, well, the good news is... No, shut your wet mouth, Mike! | |
| We have to move on. | |
| We could talk about the NFL all day. | |
| Lord knows I want to talk about the NFL some more. | |
| I'd really love to, but apparently Haley has a Whopper for us this week. | |
| So we need to get into Haley's Whopper, her Arizona Whopper. | |
| Yeah, I've heard that you've got some hot shit going on in Arizona. | |
| There's a lot of drama. | |
| So, as always, for our Arizona, the flaming crater of a state in our United States of America, until that becomes a fractured state in Civil War, etc., I'll turn it over to Haley, a.k.a. | |
| Arizona Right Watch, for the skinny on the state of Arizona. | |
| What's going on in your home state, Haley? | |
| Hello, everybody. | |
| It is the Arizona segment. | |
| Welcome. | |
| Thank you for being here. | |
| I don't know if you all have heard these past two weeks, me talking about Dream City Church and Trump coming to town. | |
| I think I even mentioned that there was kind of a hit coming out on the former now, Arizona GOP Party Chairman Jeff DeWitt. | |
| This is some inside sauce, but it will get funny. | |
| Um, so yeah, Trump was supposed to come to town for his first Arizona rally. | |
| That didn't happen. | |
| It all kind of blew up a little bit. | |
| Um, so... | |
| Right before the Trump rally was going to coincide, it was going to be a two-day, this big two-day event at Dream City Church, this fascist megachurch here in the Valley that just had a teacher arrested for sexually assaulting a student. | |
| And this is a Turning Point USA connected church slash they have a little school. | |
| Slash, they help fund, like, fake clinics here. | |
| Like, fake abortion clinics. | |
| Anyways, that's Dream City Church. | |
| It's got a lot of campuses. | |
| It's awful. | |
| The Arizona GOP holds a lot of their events there. | |
| They're tight on security so they keep people out who they don't want to. | |
| Myself included, which we went over two episodes ago. | |
| If you want the skinny on that. | |
| But anyway. | |
| It was going to be this big two day event. | |
| So there's going to be booths. | |
| Everybody's going to be, all the people running for stuff are going to have, you know, they're going to be promoting their, their shit. | |
| There's going to be a lot of people there. | |
| Last year, but when Ron and Jim were in town when he was running, like they were both at | |
| this event, like everybody, everybody in local politics goes to this that if you're a part | |
| of the Republican branch or just generally want to infiltrate it because there was a | |
| neo-Nazi in there like trolling around because of course there was this weekend. | |
| But so it was supposed to be Friday, Trump rally, kicking it off with a big party. | |
| Everybody's going to go have their big parties and orgies or whatever it is they do after | |
| Trump comes to town. | |
| And then the next day was going to be the party chair vote. | |
| So they would vote on a party chairman. | |
| That used to be Kelly Ward. | |
| She was infamously the chairwoman when the fake elector scandal happened because she was one of the fake electors along with her husband. | |
| The longer time goes on, the more the fake electors. | |
| Sounds like a Metal Gear Solid thing, you know? | |
| It'll continue to be a story, and eventually more people will get in trouble for this, so it just has to stay in the conversation. | |
| And it was genuinely a huge thing, because they tried to just be like, oh, you guys, Arizona went for Biden? | |
| How about no? | |
| So yeah, just throw away our vote. | |
| They are fascists. | |
| Yes. | |
| But anyway, and Kelly Ward was the party chair during this time so it's kind of like a lot of it falls on her. | |
| The AZGOP account still has the video of them. | |
| They tweeted about it. | |
| They tweeted a video of them signing the fake elector signatures, and they're like, okay, we're doing it, and then they all clap at the end after they do it. | |
| That video's still up. | |
| I will never get over that. | |
| It's like, wow, just posting crimes. | |
| But anyway, so Kelly Ward was infamously the chairwoman when like, yeah, January 6th happened. | |
| All that shit happened, just like things fell kind of into chaos. | |
| And then she was out and we got Jeff DeWitt. | |
| Jeff DeWitt was seen as kind of like the the moderate, the more like he will bridge the two sides. | |
| He's a bit more normie, I guess, if you want to call it that. | |
| And he wasn't leaning too hard into the like, you know, all the elections are fake in both 2020 and the 2022 midterm. | |
| So, of course, the the Trump faction of the Republican Party, the MAGA diehards, the Whatever you want to call them. | |
| You know, they were like, get this fucking guy out of here. | |
| And they were teasing big news coming, you know, like a couple days leading up to the vote for the chair, for the party chair. | |
| Just like the QAnon site with its countdown to big news? | |
| It was big news. | |
| Carrie Lake and a bunch of right-wingers were like, big news coming next week. | |
| I'm going to reveal who tried to bribe me to stay out of office. | |
| She's been teasing this for almost a year. | |
| This isn't her book that I unfortunately read. | |
| This is a common thing that she mentions at rallies. | |
| for months she has had this story that somebody tried to bribe me to stay out of office but I | |
| won't say who. And you know I don't want to like go with Carrie's narrative too much that this is | |
| like yes absolutely Jeff DeWitt trying to bribe her out of office but he did definitely | |
| kind of ultimatum her like listen there's people that definitely want you out and they will pay | |
| money to get you out of there so maybe consider that is what this audio eventually says. So it wasn't like... | |
| like it. | |
| It's shit that's politic shit, but it became a huge scandal because Carrie knows how to, you know, kind of... She kind of knows how to... She knows how to work the media. | |
| She knows how to get people to work. | |
| She's so good at working the media, and the media sometimes doesn't even realize that they're getting worked. | |
| And also, she's revealing that she's secretly recording private conversations. | |
| Oh, that was such a big deal! | |
| I think a lot of Republicans were like, wait a second, Carrie Lake, she records all of the conversations that we have with her? | |
| So anyway, there was this big tease, like, okay, Carrie's finally gonna release who bribed her out of office, and there's this right-wing radio host here that heavily works with them. | |
| His name's Garrett Lewis. | |
| He sucks. | |
| He's a piece of shit. | |
| Put that on the record. | |
| Garrett Lewis, piece of shit. | |
| Garrett Lewis Show, piece of shit show. | |
| But yeah, so they were like, we're going to reveal the truth on the Garrett Lewis Show. | |
| Tune in live. | |
| Carrie Lake calls in. | |
| Abe Hamaday calls in. | |
| And yeah, they talk about how Jeff DeWitt bribed her. | |
| So that's her words, bribed her. | |
| And they leaked the audio to the Daily Mail, I believe it was. | |
| Reliable outlet. | |
| And yeah, he basically, the audio is him saying, like, let me find the exact... | |
| Yeah, he says, like, there are very powerful people that want to keep you out and they're willing to put their money where their mouth is in a big way. | |
| He doesn't say who wants to keep her out of office, but he says people back east, which has been getting baked to all hell. | |
| They're like, who are the people back east? | |
| And Carrie's also like, the people back east want to keep me out. | |
| It's kind of becoming like a campaign ad. | |
| And yeah. | |
| And then Carrie talks like, oh, you acting like I can be bought? | |
| Cause she's recording, so she's putting on a show. | |
| And yeah, Dewitt's like, I don't know what the, I'm truly unsure of its contents, but considering our numerous past conversations as friends, I've decided to take the risk. | |
| So yeah, he asked her to basically to kind of sit out of, she's currently already done with her, Her race, she's in the middle of her crackin' lawsuits right now, but she's gonna run for Senate. | |
| So he's kind of like, if this is correct, if he's supposedly bribing her, he's kind of saying, can you just stop running for shit right now? | |
| So, Carey leaks this and, you know, sets the narrative, like, he is trying to bribe me out of office. | |
| This is him absolutely bribing me out of office, which everybody in the media fully went with. | |
| They fully were like, Jeff DeWitt tries to bribe Carey Lake out of office. | |
| He resigns, like, the next day. | |
| He resigned, honestly, I think, like, a few minutes after we stopped recording last week because I was like, fuck! | |
| Because Carrie said, like, if you don't resign, I'm gonna keep leaking audio that I have of us. | |
| So she blackmailed him. | |
| And yeah, he resigned. | |
| He, you know, it was revealed also that, like, she had been working for his company at the time. | |
| He actually is, like, part of this tech company that, like, helps with the GOP apps. | |
| It helps with the Turning Point USA, like, a Turning Point USA app that they use for, like, get-out-the-vote efforts. | |
| And Carrie worked for him at the time and it was kind of it was like, so yeah, kind of also like shitting on the on the guy that helps you also in that way. | |
| So it was like a big scandal. | |
| I think this kind of backfired on Carrie a little bit. | |
| Jeff DeWitt is out and they had the vote which is they got some lady named Gina | |
| Swoboda. I'm really unfamiliar with this person but Trump endorsed her and like | |
| Wendy Rogers and Mike Lindell and everybody but she did work for Katie | |
| Hobbs in the past so eventually she will do something wrong and get baked to hell | |
| and also get kicked out at some point by the the the more extremist faction. | |
| But for now, Carrie got her way. | |
| Jeff DeWitt is out. | |
| This new person is in. | |
| But when Carrie was on stage at the GOP event, they booed her. | |
| She got pretty heavy booed. | |
| So I think she kind of damaged some of her reputation because a lot of people are like, this bitch is recording me? | |
| Like this bitch is always recording her? | |
| I'm not going to know what's a real interaction and what's not. | |
| Because remember when she recorded, once she, there was that interaction with Ruben Gallego at the airport, and it was like, dude, this is scripted as all hell. | |
| What is her, what is, why is she acting like this? | |
| Yeah, she went up to Ruben Gallego and did this whole, like, bit where she's like, you're doing bad things and you know you're doing the bad things. | |
| And Gallego was like, what are you talking about, crazy lady? | |
| And then she was like, why don't you admit to some crimes into my cleavage, please? | |
| What's going on? | |
| Yeah. | |
| So, Carrie Lake is always mic'd up. | |
| She's got the sauce. | |
| And, you know... | |
| Do you have any more information about why the booing happened? | |
| I mean, I get, again, the fact that Carrie is a really unreliable person who is doing this very duplicitous stuff about recording and leaking audio and all that, but was there more to the boos or was it just this, we can't trust her and we don't know what's going on anymore? | |
| And basically, it feels like she's almost trying to stage a coup here where she's like, I'm the one who's running the show now. | |
| I'm the boss. | |
| Yeah, she is running the party behind the scenes. | |
| The woman that I often mention, Shelby Bush, who's part of We the People AZ Alliance, who helps with her court cases, and she was part of the Cyber Ninjas audit. | |
| She's heavily connected to Patrick Burton and Michael Flynn. | |
| But she's very close with Lake, and she's currently one of the county chairs. | |
| So they're kind of trying to They were saying Boo Hearns! | |
| Yeah, Boo Hearns! | |
| is kind of like the shadow leader of the AZGOP and, you know, working shit behind the scenes. | |
| And yeah, when she got booed, there was a debate about, there was like, the Carrie faction | |
| was like, she didn't get booed, you know, because like everybody... | |
| They were saying Boo Hurns! | |
| Yeah, Boo Hurns! | |
| Boo Lake! | |
| They were saying Boo Lake! | |
| Yeah. | |
| And yeah, because a lot of the, you know, Garrett Archer, he's Data Guru on the timeline, | |
| and a lot of big influential people in AZ election Twitter were there. | |
| Politicians were there, journalists were there. | |
| So there's people who are live tweeting, and there was a lot of back and forth going on. | |
| just live tweeting and during the live tweeting like there was no booze there was no booze and | |
| then like some journalists were like here's proof of the booze you know like so there was definitely | |
| like this you can you can see the the the the two factions the more mccain uh you know do see uh | |
| karen taylor robeson faction and then the kerry maga trump faction like kind of dueling it out at | |
| this azgop um vote this party vote um So yeah, that was it, and Trump canceled his visit because, like, drama! | |
| You know what I'm saying? | |
| Uh, which was fun because I feel like, you know, I would have loved to get Trump's visit canceled. | |
| That's what I love to do. | |
| I love, I love it when, when fascist pieces of shit are like, you know what? | |
| This situation is a little bit too hot. | |
| I'm not going to go ahead and come to this. | |
| I'm not going to go ahead and come to this town. | |
| If the situation is too hot, it's hot. | |
| It's hard to trap them. | |
| You know, you need to honeypot them. | |
| It has to be sweet enough to get them in, but sticky enough so they can't get out. | |
| Anyway. | |
| Uh so that's uh that's that's our crazy Arizona shit for the week uh gonna move us straight along uh after a you know a little bit a little bit of a long boost segment this week but that's because the the actual headlines are a little thin but they are weird so let's get into our headline news for the week shall we? | |
| From the digital headlines to the digital front lines it's Q's in the News! | |
| Leading headline for this week, uh, because of just how bizarre it is, is the, I guess, debate over whether or not, uh, this, uh, this crime is QAnon related. | |
| That crime being, uh, a man has allegedly, uh, beheaded his father and then recorded a film, uh, that he posted on YouTube of him, uh, with the No. | |
| ahead in question. | |
| And then it kind of gets worse from there. | |
| So I'll turn it over to Mike for more details on this one, although this I do happen to know a little bit about, | |
| just because of how weird it was. | |
| Mike, what's going on with this decapitator? | |
| You don't get a lot of that. | |
| You don't get a lot of decapitation, you know? | |
| What a twist. | |
| Yeah, not a lot of decapitation usually in America. | |
| But a guy, Justin Mohn, Justin Mon, was accused of killing his father, which again, we | |
| have a lot of evidence to suggest that he did such a thing. | |
| And he was charged with murder. | |
| His social media was found to contain a lot of right-wing content, like a YouTube video entitled... No, he wasn't talking about how much he liked AOC's politics. | |
| Oh, yeah, it's so weird. | |
| And also, in my downtime, I like beheading my father. | |
| I think we should have Medicare for all, and women should have the right to reproductive freedom, and also I'm going to cut my dad's head off. | |
| Yes. | |
| And please, ask me about my opinions regarding decapitating my father. | |
| Excuse me? | |
| What did you say? | |
| Yeah. | |
| Oh, New Deal? | |
| For it. | |
| Yes. | |
| All about the Green New Deal, and also beheadings. | |
| So yeah. | |
| He and Kathy Griffin would get along great together, because that was a huge ordeal back in the day when she was that prop head of Trump, and everyone was so upset about it. | |
| Wow. | |
| That was actually a pretty good poll, Mike. | |
| Congratulations. | |
| Golf map. | |
| Audience, you're not appreciating it hard enough. | |
| Appreciate it harder. | |
| So, I hit a YouTube video called, A Call to Arms for American Patriots. | |
| And he declared that... More like a call to heads, am I right? | |
| Yes! | |
| He declared his father to be a traitor, he called for the death of all federal officials, attacked Black Lives Matter, the LGBTQ community, anti-fag activists, and all that good stuff. | |
| There's a they oh man the screenshot they have of him in the video is just the perfect like incel white dude they got him like angrily staring at the camera with his mouth wide open just bare white wall behind him just perfect just absolute chef's kiss the perfect way to frame this guy as a decapitating psychopath and um Yeah that might be a good time to mention that like if you happen to ever listen to this podcast and be like I would like more information than these schmucks provide and you like look into a thing be careful about this one because allegedly there's a video that has like like we mentioned this shit in it and that's floating around and it could be on especially if you're still on tic-tac or not tic-tac Twitter if you're on Twitter maybe also tic-tac but especially Twitter if you're on Twitter fucking just be wary if you're looking into this you might see some shit you don't want to see | |
| It might get put on your For You page because the For You page has become a cesspool of old LiveLeak videos and racist crap. | |
| So, be careful. | |
| Be wary out there. | |
| It's the Wild West out there, partner. | |
| Yeah, be careful out there when it comes to dealing with... The easiest solution is to not use Twitter anymore. | |
| Yes. | |
| It's so elegant. | |
| You're so punk for that, actually. | |
| You know, we're talking about your levels of punk. | |
| This is a very punk thing of you that you do. | |
| It shouldn't. | |
| I disagree with that. | |
| It should be very simple to do the same way that like I just I don't I don't spend my money on shit I don't like. | |
| One time I accidentally ended up giving Blizzard Entertainment 15 of my dollars and like within the pit likes of the point of cutting them for the last six, seven years. | |
| I was furious with myself. | |
| I was like, no, I got tricked. | |
| Anyway, you know what? | |
| I am great. | |
| I just don't think I'm punk. | |
| Anyway, so yeah, there's my warning to our audience. | |
| Be careful if you're looking into this. | |
| That being said, I haven't seen shit in terms of the video or photos of this guy or any of that stuff, so believe me when I say how shocked I am to find out that he looks like a white incel. | |
| I mean, this certainly, that's, I'm shocked. | |
| I mean, who could have thought? | |
| And a conservative? | |
| Wow. | |
| Yeah, so this is the big thing that's going on right now in basically the right wing media and the QAnon sphere is that the New York Post and right wing sources are like this QAnon nut who bought into all this crazy stuff, did a crazy bad thing. | |
| And the QAnon people, beyond just calling it a false flag, which is their default setting for any violence committed by anybody in the right wing, their other reaction is, this guy is not actually QAnon. | |
| He doesn't talk about any of the stuff that we talk about. | |
| He ain't making no drops. | |
| He ain't doing any stuff like that. | |
| So you have this hot potato with this murderer where like quote-unquote respectable right-wingers are trying to distance themselves by fobbing him off on QAnon and QAnon's like, no he just believed in the Great Replacement Theory and all the other horrible racist shit that comes out of Donald Trump's mouth. | |
| Organically, we didn't have to pill him on the super secret spy and the half a million sealed indictments and all the rest of that stuff. | |
| So that's where we're at at this point. | |
| And so far, the QAnon researchers that I've been seeing have stated that they have not | |
| seen any direct correlation between this guy and QAnon, that he has actually broached their | |
| mythos. | |
| He's just been doing, he's just been following the stuff that they follow because that's | |
| the problem with QAnon is that it believes in everything. | |
| So if you say you're an anti-vaxxer, someone can go, oh, you're into that QAnon shit. | |
| Or if you think the moon landing was faked, they'll be like, oh yeah, QAnon. | |
| Normal people now just see QAnon as a catch-all for conspiracy theories. | |
| And it's just an easy way to say that. | |
| It's basically like when you go into a casino and you ask if they've got poker, what you actually mean is Texas Hold'em. | |
| Because it's the only game anyone plays. | |
| Absolutely not. | |
| I want to be doing a triple draw or whatever that shit's called. | |
| Right! | |
| I want to play some two's and seven triple draw. | |
| I want to play some badoogie. | |
| Exactly. | |
| But that's the thing. | |
| I just want the free drinks. | |
| What'd you say, Hayley? | |
| I just want the free drinks. | |
| Yes. | |
| Oh, that's what casinos are about. | |
| That's what they're for. | |
| If you stand around enough, you'll get one. | |
| That's a life hack! | |
| If you stand around enough, you'll get a free drink! | |
| The more you know! | |
| Make sure you're near the slot machines, because they'll think you're playing them. | |
| That's the important thing. | |
| Hold a shiny penny in your hand. | |
| Mutter to yourself like you're losing, and you're about to leave. | |
| I got my shiniest penny. | |
| You know, wave it around a little bit like you're showing off. | |
| Like a Scrooge McDuck. | |
| It's my number one dime! | |
| I was right there. | |
| I was right there on the lucky number one dime. | |
| Don't put it in. | |
| Listener, do not put it in. | |
| Don't waste that penny. | |
| That's your shiny penny. | |
| Not even just the tip of it into the slot? | |
| You know what? | |
| You can put it in! | |
| Just be careful. | |
| Make sure you have a little string attached so if it falls in you can take it right back out. | |
| Oh, so it's more Donald Duck than Scrooge McDuck. | |
| I see. | |
| What the fuck are we even talking about? | |
| We got derailed. | |
| That's us. | |
| It's just this thing where QAnon is shorthand for conspiracy theories and as a result now there's this Question of are we mislabeling this guy as a QAnon believer when he is quote-unquote just a conspiracy theorist So that's kind of the $64 question And also and this also gets to the broader point, which is just that Donald Trump and the Republican Party Mainstream are normalizing violence and this kind of bullshit to get your way with things. | |
| I mean Donald Trump I mean, QAnon people were involved in January 6th, but the guy that led it was Donald Trump. | |
| So the issue really is, is that all of the right-wing politics in America right now can lead to a violent outcome. | |
| You don't have to believe in QAnon to go do a violent thing. | |
| And not a lot of people want to approach that reality because Going there leads to having to ask some really tough questions. | |
| And it leads to having to say things like, maybe we shouldn't be normalizing Donald Trump. | |
| Maybe he's kind of a really bad guy. | |
| Fuck that! | |
| How about a different question? | |
| Maybe we shouldn't be so United-estates after all, you know what I mean? | |
| Maybe some of us should try to form our own cool club that is not a part of the United States. | |
| Uh, and that is unfortunately the idea that is gaining more traction. | |
| Uh, literal traction in the form of big truck tires. | |
| Get it? | |
| Because I guess there's a big convoy of trucks headed down to help our good friends in Texas who are once again just deciding that maybe they don't want to be a state after all. | |
| Uh, right? | |
| I believe that's where this is all going down still? | |
| I could be wrong. | |
| I don't know a lot about a lot, but Mike does. | |
| Mike, how wrong am I? | |
| There's three locations. | |
| There's three locations? | |
| The Civil War is on, baby! | |
| Yeah, uh, I've been following this because one of the locations is in Arizona, and it's the- Wow, shocker! | |
| Wait a minute, you gotta give the audience time to breathe after that one. | |
| Who'd have thought? | |
| I know. | |
| Is Florida the third one? | |
| Can we get a Florida? | |
| It's like the feud all of a sudden. | |
| Is it Alabama? | |
| Those fuckers are always going to be relevant. | |
| It is California, Texas, and Arizona. | |
| This is the take our border back. | |
| Go! | |
| Go! | |
| It's yours! | |
| Run! | |
| Run to the end zone! | |
| Score a touchdown! | |
| by like at first it was really quiet. I'm sorry, Mike, I'm taking over. | |
| Go, go, it's yours. | |
| Run to the end zone, score a touchdown, it's sports ball again. | |
| So there was this, this has coincided with all the Abbott stuff. | |
| It feels a little suspicious to me, but I don't like to conspiracize, but technically this all started to get organized before, like, the Supreme Court decision that kind of triggered the Abbott, you know, drama, um, and all the National Guard stuff. | |
| But there was calls for a Take Back Our Border convoy. | |
| Uh, for February 3rd is the actual rally point date. | |
| So it's going to be this weekend. | |
| Um, at Eagle Pass, Texas, which is kind of seen as the main spot because Texas has been getting so much attention. | |
| Uh, Yuma, Arizona, which is, uh, the border here. | |
| Hey balloons, my look. | |
| Um, Yuma, Arizona, which is the border here. | |
| And I think it's San Ysidro, California, was the California location. | |
| And everybody's supposed to meet on February 3rd for the big rally point. | |
| Currently people are already meeting up. | |
| There's like right wing streamers there. | |
| You know, there's militias always down there. | |
| And, but it's kind of, it's so far kind of a flop because there's been a lot of like, you know, | |
| worried about Fed infiltration, worried it's an op. | |
| This always happens is they get each other riled up about first the people that they hate, and then when they plan something, they get riled up about each other. | |
| And yeah, there's currently like some people's tires have been slashed that are currently down there. | |
| There's just a lot of stuff already happening, and it's definitely not going to be so far, absolutely anywhere near close as the numbers that they've estimated. | |
| But there is always the concern of violence because You know, people want to shoot, they want an excuse, this is an excuse to go down there and patrol immigrants and some people are down there with guns looking for an excuse, any excuse to pull that trigger. | |
| So it is kind of a little bit of a volatile situation, but that's kind of the background on it. | |
| I was actually on the original convoy that this kind of branched off from. | |
| There was the trucker convoy in Canada that was like about, you know, the trucks and mandates, trucker mandates, and there was the big protest, and then the United States, like, right-wingers kind of tried to piggyback off that, but we had nothing to complain about. | |
| We didn't have any mandates at the time. | |
| It was literally not The same thing whatsoever. | |
| But I was on it. | |
| It went from California all the way to, like, a little bit out of D.C. | |
| And I was on it through Arizona. | |
| I got on right as they hit into Arizona and followed through. | |
| Yeah, we get it. | |
| You really believed in the cause. | |
| You loved them. | |
| I did. | |
| I really believed in the cause. | |
| And, you know, it was a dud pretty immediately because, again, these people just get paranoid about each other. | |
| Um, and the, uh, Russia invasion of Ukraine happened that the day that it kind of started. | |
| So the event, the media attention was fully taken off of them, which is, you know, that kind of builds on their hype. | |
| Um, but when I was down, when I was doing that, because they were like, we're going to go to DC and we're going to do a protest about mask mandates. | |
| Like it wasn't, it wasn't what a lot of people even wanted to do. | |
| A lot of people wanted to go down and block the border. | |
| Uh, so. | |
| There is some, like, remnants of that that are part of this. | |
| Some of the same people that were part of that are part of this. | |
| That's my side of things. | |
| Mike, take it away. | |
| I'm sorry that I kind of took over. | |
| Oh, you covered most of it. | |
| The only thing that I saw was that this group is called the God's Army that is handling this convoy. | |
| The convoy is a lot smaller. | |
| Then people thought it would going to be. | |
| There's a lot of social media about how this was supposed to be a truck convoy. | |
| And there's not a lot of trucks involved. | |
| So this is getting to be pretty underwhelming. | |
| But, uh, I definitely see that people are grifting because that's how this works. | |
| Again, we're making money and we want to go to the border and quote-unquote peacefully protest what's happening and maybe help the good people of Texas, you know, keep putting up razor wire because the big part of this is that The Supreme Court ruled that the federal government has a right to take down the razor wire that Texas has put up on the border and Texas has basically said they're going to defy the Supreme Court, which | |
| The whole point of this shit is that they stacked the Supreme Court so they could get their way on everything and now they're not getting their way and you're like, you know what? | |
| Fuck it! | |
| We just don't care anymore. | |
| We're just gonna do whatever we want no matter what and go to hell. | |
| So, great. | |
| I guess, does that mean that we can now build abortion clinics in your red states and you just have to accept it? | |
| Is that how this works? | |
| Is the Supreme Court null and void? | |
| Because if so, I'm all for it. | |
| And, and on top of that, we've had a bunch of red state governors and people saying that they're standing with Texas and they support them. | |
| And a bunch of QAnon promoters are like, are we, are we beginning a civil war? | |
| And they keep rehashing the fucking civil war movie that's coming out and talking about how, Oh, to be fair, this time they have a little bit more of a leg to stand on. | |
| Cause I mean, it's just like. | |
| A huge amount of these stupid conservative states had people just being like, we support Texas and their fight against the federal government. | |
| And it's just like, what? | |
| No, like, what do you do? | |
| Why? | |
| Especially it's just like, if you're fucking Montana or whatever, like what, what border crisis are you facing? | |
| Yeah, I love like they show like the chart of like all the states that are supporting Texas and most of them are in the middle of America or in Montana basically on the Canadian border and it's just what are you guys doing? | |
| What's the point here? | |
| Matt Walsh posted. | |
| He's been so excited. | |
| He's been so hype because he's a fascist. | |
| And he's been posting like, you know, getting the band back together kind of post. | |
| And it was, you know, the Confederate States and Arizona was highlighted as an Arizona territory. | |
| And it was it was the Arizona territory. | |
| It was the old Arizona territory. | |
| And I think that journalists should be doing a better job to kind of You know, when he calls for Arizona to become a territory, that's a call, yeah, a return to slavery in the state and for people to be imprisoned if they have abortions and it's banned across the board. | |
| And a bunch of other awful things that I think we should be highlighting a bit more that these people are kind of not so vaguely calling for. | |
| If you know what I mean. | |
| Yeah. | |
| I was, I thought that was a wild post. | |
| I'm like, this is just, this is literally saying like you want slavery back. | |
| I, anyways, whatever. | |
| Tim Poole had a little post about how he was like this, this Trump verdict against him by the crazy lady that said he sexually abused her. | |
| is a pretty good argument for repealing the 19th Amendment. | |
| I'm not totally sure if I agree with that or not. | |
| And that is... | |
| That is so... | |
| a hide-your-power-level moment where Tim Pool is just... | |
| Maybe we should get rid of the 19th Amendment! | |
| Ha ha ha! Just kidding! | |
| How are those people gonna do it? | |
| Exactly! | |
| These people are insane. | |
| They literally just want to live in feudalism. | |
| They want a nice king to come in and they want their lives to turn into shit where the people up top really improperly have their boot on their neck. | |
| Like, unsubtly. | |
| Like, literally coming in and just putting the boot on the neck. | |
| That's what they want. | |
| They love it. | |
| But they think they're somehow going to become more free when they decide to just fucking return to the old ways. | |
| So stupid. | |
| Yeah. | |
| But again, there are enough of them inexplicably still kicking around like a virus. | |
| But what are we going to do? | |
| Let's try to lighten the mood up a bit with our wonderful listener, Milbag. | |
| Take it away, Mike, for the bump. | |
| Our listeners got questions. | |
| We got answers. | |
| It's time for Q and A. | |
| Yes. | |
| Opening with Cleodora Silvestri, the Hellworld Grand Inquisitor, says, The next protest convoy is about to hit Texas. | |
| What will be this year's gay cowboy viral hit song to disrupt their radio communications? | |
| Oh man, how do you top Ram Ranch? | |
| It's just literally... I was gonna say, let's just bring it back. | |
| Let's remix it. | |
| Dude, it's so good. | |
| What a perfect lightning in a bottle moment for the people out there who have never experienced the Ram Ranch. | |
| Someone do a remix of that with Old Town Road, Lil Nas X. Let's just make the gayest, let's just make the gayest song, please. | |
| Gayest cowboy song. | |
| Yeah, there's also that like, that play that's straight down the middle of the plate, gay cowboy, with the fucking, the sexy tassels that dangle from his cowboy hat. | |
| I can't remember his name right now. | |
| Orville Peck? | |
| Yeah, that guy. | |
| Yeah. | |
| Yeah, dude. | |
| I hate his fucking music, but good for him. | |
| The gay rodeo is coming up. | |
| You know, let's get them in on it somehow. | |
| Let's just make it... Let's just bring the gay rodeo to Eagle Pass. | |
| You know? | |
| Yeah, but I think Haley and I probably disagree on this one. | |
| Like, let's just, I mean, let's just keep Rammin' it. | |
| Ram Ranch all the way. | |
| Ram Ranch. | |
| Yeah, just a remix for a new generation, you know? | |
| Get Tiesto on it or whatever. | |
| It should be a time of class. | |
| It should be one of those, like, you know, every time the convoys start acting up, that song becomes popular again. | |
| It's just like a- I would love for that to become the soundtrack of the idea of secession. | |
| Which is like, whenever these guys start kicking up dust about, like, pulling away from the United States, like, all of a sudden, it's just like, yeah! | |
| They just have to start hearing Ram Ranch constantly. | |
| Just getting blasted at them. | |
| That is our Civil War anthem. | |
| Hell yeah, dude. | |
| That's our fight song. | |
| Yeah. | |
| Yes, it so is, it so is. | |
| Our men are going to be as hard as those cowboy cocks at Ram Ranch. | |
| All-nude gay cowboys in the shower sucking each other's throbbing hot cocks. | |
| With their Chinese soldier 10-packs. | |
| Oh my goodness, what a great question. | |
| I do love any opportunity to talk about Ram Ranch. | |
| Spencer Watson asks, is there any chance that the Cupid will get to a level of ridiculousness that they become ridiculous to even each other? | |
| Has this happened already and I'm just not close enough to it? | |
| Could Taylor Swift maximize this effect? | |
| What were cracks in the QAnon blob? | |
| We've talked about it a couple of times on the show actually, right? | |
| Because there's... | |
| There are segments of the QAnon fanbase that fuckin' hate, like, the JFK Jr., like, is-still-alive shit. | |
| Or, like, the people that are just like, like, Q himself, yo, the Earth is round. | |
| Like, dude, like, do not bring that flattery shit here. | |
| The medbeds? | |
| Isn't there a lot of discourse about medbeds? | |
| Oh, yeah, and, like, there are... L just crushed that question, so, like, that was... Because I was literally going to bring up the whole JFK Jr. | |
| schism, but, uh... | |
| Part of the movement is guys in the movement telling you that other people in the movement are untrustworthy scum. | |
| That's basically Jordan Sather's brand at this point, is to gatekeep QAnon. | |
| He hates the Iraqi Dinar scams. | |
| He hates Jaseera, Naseera, and that kind of stuff, where he'll be like, these idiots tell you you're going to get free money. | |
| Nuts to them. | |
| Setting you up for failure. | |
| They're trying to hurt you. | |
| Don't listen to them. | |
| Only buy Safer Brand Snake Oil and all that kind of stuff. | |
| The movement is that way. | |
| And what's really funny is that recently there's been efforts to kind of smooth things over between the JFK Jr. | |
| folks and the people that hate them. | |
| And there's AwakendOutlaw, who's one of my favorite people to follow on the movement, he tried to do some olive branching to the Flat Earth community. | |
| He was like, yo, Flat Earthers, can we just defeat the New World Order first and then we can discuss the shape of the world? | |
| And the Flat Earthers were like, Pound Sand, idiot! | |
| To believe in the globe is to believe in the devil! | |
| Who could possibly handle the idea that the fuckin' Earth is round when you know the truth? | |
| You're right, exactly! | |
| Exactly. | |
| I mean, that's the problem. | |
| It's so flat and level, it's crazy, you wouldn't even believe. | |
| Yeah. | |
| I mean, certainly when the Deep State falls, then the truth will have to come out about our Earth, and vis-a-vis its flatness. | |
| Yeah. | |
| Yeah, and that's one of the things about this is that people who have their weird niche issue are not going to give up on it just because it's quote unquote taking one for the team. | |
| Because like the anti-vaxxers and the rest of these cranks in QAnon don't have to take one for the team. | |
| So why should I, the flat earther, have to like play nice with you stupid globe believing lunatics who are straying from God by believing in a non-flat Earth. | |
| So, like, yeah, that kind of stuff is in there. | |
| I don't know that Taylor Swift's gonna break anything. | |
| I think she might kind of, like, again, smooth it more, because she's an enemy to hate, and QAnon just loves enemies. | |
| Yeah, the Taylor Swift thing, I mean, it's just, it's so mundane on the spectrum of nonsensical shit that they believe in that it seems like it's gonna be tougher to poke a hole in it. | |
| Like, because it's simultaneously just, like, Nonsensical and, like, sort of believable? | |
| Because again, like, they're not far- they kind of have a point. | |
| It's just that they think the sinister government has their paws in Taylor Swift and it's like, no, she's just liberal. | |
| But being liberal does, and having a huge platform, does mean that she is like bringing more opposition to you, you know? | |
| So, it's like, again, they're dangerously close to seeing the truth, but they just suddenly, they zig when they should zag. | |
| They're just like, ah, we're so close to the truth, and also, ah! | |
| Dark Brandon! | |
| The Pentagon! | |
| Ah! | |
| The Deep State! | |
| Soros! | |
| Yeah. So yeah, there's, there are, there are fractures in the QAnon community. | |
| There will always be fractures. | |
| But in order to keep the grift running smoothly, they try to work hard to keep each other all happy-go-lucky. | |
| I mean, you've got people that acknowledge that Biden's actually the president, and then you have people who refuse to accept that reality. | |
| And they get along just fine, because it doesn't help anybody to yuck anyone's yum in this movement. | |
| The whole point is it's improvisation. | |
| It's all yes-ending. | |
| It's all, yes, Biden stole the election with the 2,000 mules and all that stuff, but also Trump signed some secret documents that means he gets to be president for life behind the scenes. | |
| Everyone's theory is correct, even when they're contradictory. | |
| Just roll with it. | |
| It's better for everyone involved. | |
| Just what they've always wanted, President for Life, Donald Trump, because that guy, every day, seems more and more with it. | |
| Yeah, oh, President for Life, Donald Trump, for the remaining, I don't know, seven months of that existence. | |
| Man, it's going to be, that podcast, the greatest podcast, truly, the most wonderful of all weeks. | |
| MeBad asks, I guess the reverse question from our first question, which is, best guesses for the songs played in the convoy heading to the border. | |
| So, beyond Ram Ranch, what are they actually playing for themselves, I guess? | |
| Obviously, that fucking horrible Ben Shapiro rap song. | |
| Dude, number one on the charts, baby. | |
| Try That in a Small Town. | |
| Oh yeah, Try That in a Small Town, 100%. | |
| Oh god, yeah. | |
| I heard that in the wild, like literally yesterday, maybe two days ago, and I was like, Ugh. | |
| Why? | |
| Why? | |
| Like, what the fuck? | |
| It was on the radio. | |
| It was in my Uber. | |
| It was on a regular station. | |
| I was like... Was your driver weirdly fired up about it? | |
| No, they had no reaction to any of the music whatsoever that was playing, but I was just like... | |
| That's interesting. | |
| That's just on the airwaves. | |
| I remember me and Elle, we did a road trip to like Washington DC for a convention a million years ago. | |
| And we were so hyped when we heard Gundam Style in the wild. | |
| Just having this foreign song pop up on American radio, it was like, holy shit, this thing has hit so hard that Americans are willing to listen to this song on the radio. | |
| Not even the video, to go along with it. | |
| Yeah, what a weird time that was. | |
| Yes. | |
| It did make that horrific drive through New Jersey better. | |
| Thanks, Cy. | |
| Yes, because I made New Jersey remotely tolerable. | |
| Not tolerable, the $1,000,000 in tolls I had to pay. | |
| New Jersey should be a goddamn utopia, given the amount of money they charge you to drive on their roads. | |
| It's like, holy shit. | |
| And to our listeners in New Jersey, I'm sorry. | |
| That really sucks. | |
| It's so horrible. | |
| And they know that, so they charge you so much to drive through it. | |
| They're like, we know you ain't stopping, so give us your money on the road. | |
| They're like fucking bandits. | |
| Yeah, they're literally highway men. | |
| Actual, literal highway men. | |
| Well, highway people, let's say. | |
| Yes. | |
| Yes. | |
| Oh, if you were to go any further, that's going to be another $8. | |
| Heh heh heh. | |
| It's like, you know you've got me by the balls. | |
| The alternative is stopping in New Jersey. | |
| That's untenable. | |
| I'd rather die. | |
| I'd rather drive this fucking car into a tree on the side of the road. | |
| We did it. | |
| We finally attacked another state. | |
| Our quest to hit all 50 continues. | |
| Got him. | |
| There is absolutely a 100% likelihood that I've talked shit about New Jersey on the podcast before. | |
| Well, if we didn't, they deserved it more anyways. | |
| For the record, there was a lot of good pop punk that came out of New Jersey in the time when I was into pop punk. | |
| New Jersey's not all bad, but driving through it is a nightmare. | |
| Yes, absolutely. | |
| Pancake Peasant asks, requesting a credibility check from Master Reigns on this take. | |
| Master Reigns, thank you so much for that bizarre title I've been granted. | |
| LBJ helped assassinate JFK, or at the very least was aware of a plot and did nothing. | |
| Great work on the other pod, by the way. | |
| Not 100% caught up, but appreciate more content. | |
| Any conspiracy theory about Kennedy kind of has to involve LBJ because so much of the story is that Kennedy was just roadblocking all the stuff the bad guys wanted to do. | |
| So they had to know that LBJ would want to play ball with them after they killed Kennedy and got him in, which I don't know that they would have known that. | |
| It's kind of weird because like once Kennedy was murdered, basically all the bad guys got was the war in Vietnam, which there's no real evidence Kennedy was actually going to stop because LBJ gets in and is just like, everything Kennedy wanted, I will do 10 times harder. | |
| And that was his whole way to run his presidency was just, I'm going to use Kennedy's murder to get the agenda real railroaded through and As a result, that's really why Oliver Stone and all these other cranks have to be like, yeah, Vietnam, that's why they killed him. | |
| Because they can't say that, oh yeah, after Kennedy died, LBJ let Jim Crow remain and let America stay a racist cesspool. | |
| Because he didn't. | |
| He passed a ton of laws to actually make the South not a backward hellscape. | |
| You wouldn't know it, am I right guys? | |
| High fives all around. | |
| Boom. | |
| Brofist. | |
| Yes. | |
| Yeah. | |
| So, uh, it's, it's silly, but it's par for the course with conspiracy theories. | |
| Someone posted a link, uh, sometime, I think in the next week or so, Roger Stone is doing a, uh, speaking gig at a church in Oklahoma where he's going to talk about who really killed Kennedy. | |
| And, uh, Roger already has a book out about how LBJ did it. | |
| So, uh, a spoiler. | |
| I don't think it's going to be very surprising who Roger pins it on. | |
| LBJ did it himself, though. | |
| He was the man in the sewer grate with the gun. | |
| Which is incredible, because he was two cars behind Kennedy at the time. | |
| No, that was a doppelganger, a lookalike. | |
| Right. | |
| That was a CIA operative in some Mission Impossible-style makeup. | |
| Right, exactly. | |
| Yeah, that was James Woods playing Lyndon Johnson, playing Joe Biden. | |
| That was the time traveler's role. | |
| You know how there's a time traveler in JFK's assassination, obviously? | |
| Yeah. | |
| Mike, do you want to pill some people that Austin Steinbart is actually responsible for the JFK assassination? | |
| Oh, I have not heard that. | |
| What's the Steinbart conspiracy about that? | |
| There isn't one. | |
| I'm saying do you, me, and you want to create that conspiracy? | |
| Oh, we can. | |
| Well, fuck me, I guess. | |
| I don't get to help you. | |
| You can get in on it! | |
| You can get in! | |
| It can be a big grift. | |
| Dude, Hayley's been so passive-aggressive. | |
| That's not true. | |
| I'm sorry. | |
| I knew immediately that you would say you were sorry. | |
| I needed to edit off the past. | |
| That was just a goof. | |
| Listeners, if you also want to get on this grift, the JFK grift business is a poppin'. | |
| That's why Reiner's in on it. | |
| You know, it was just the anniversary. | |
| So if anybody would like to get on this grift, You will have to unfortunately abandon your soul, but there's money to be made. | |
| And respectable journalists like Soledad O'Brien will humor you. | |
| It's incredible. | |
| They will! | |
| In about 15 years, this will be the mainstream. | |
| Yes. | |
| Austin, you're probably listening. | |
| Yeah. | |
| You did the time traveling shit with Q already. | |
| Now just time travel back a little bit further. | |
| You're so washed, bro. | |
| Like he's just doing DJ sets in the desert with his little cult and it's like, come on, man. | |
| Let's get in on this. | |
| Let's do it. | |
| It'll be a big thing. | |
| Yeah. | |
| Oh, and finally, the angry guy who yelled at me on Twitter, he actually messaged the mailbag and he says, why does your worldview go mostly debunked? | |
| It doesn't, because my worldview is based in facts and reality and has not been debunked. | |
| If you would like to debunk it, try. | |
| Come at me, bro. | |
| Let's do this. | |
| I try to just live in reality. | |
| I don't know, you know, sometimes, you know, I just try to analyze the situation as best as I can, personally. | |
| I'm not always right. | |
| I just kind of give my own opinion on things, mostly. | |
| You know, sometimes things, you know, you do have to debunk, because sometimes people are lying to you in this world. | |
| And yeah, so it's just like, if that's how you view it, maybe don't view it as hostility, maybe view it as a conversation to be had. | |
| Me not debunking your belief system, but maybe both of us just kind of talking about our beliefs on this situation and kind of working through it. | |
| Uh, yeah. | |
| And to that listener, I would ask, hey man, why is your worldview just always debunked? | |
| You know? | |
| Well, you're debunking our worldview. | |
| How about that? | |
| Why are you debunking us? | |
| It's just a conversation on two sides. | |
| Uno reverse card. | |
| Absolutely not. | |
| How about you, dude? | |
| Like, bring me some evidence. | |
| Bring me the Hillary face card video. | |
| Bring me, you know, fucking, like, here's Hunter Biden doing crack, like, on the Constitution. | |
| Yeah! | |
| Lock him up. | |
| That's illegal. | |
| You brought me evidence. | |
| You didn't. | |
| My opinion is he should be allowed to do that. | |
| Everybody should be allowed to do that because drugs are fun and it should not be criminalized. | |
| See, we can have conversations that lead into different conversations. | |
| Well, on the Constitution it's a bit of a stretch. | |
| Don't think of it so much as I'm debunking you, you're debunking me. | |
| Just, you know, I'm gonna be wrong about some things, you're gonna be wrong about some things, maybe you're gonna be wrong about a lot of things, maybe I'm gonna be wrong about a lot of things. | |
| That's how the world works. | |
| And, you know, maybe don't be so fucking hostile all the time. | |
| Yeah, I don't know why Hayley's being so kids-closed with this op. | |
| I'm just kidding. | |
| Who stuck a question to our mailbag? | |
| Hey, buddy. | |
| Fuck you, listener. | |
| How about fuck you? | |
| Yeah, fuck you, listener. | |
| I sincerely doubt this guy's listening. | |
| He just, like, DM'd me to yell at me, and I didn't. | |
| You know what? | |
| No, he's listening. | |
| Well, maybe someone else take the advice. | |
| He's listening, and fuck! | |
| Fuck you, buddy. | |
| Fuuuuck you. | |
| Be careful, he might have a fetish for getting... Humiliation. | |
| He has a humiliation fetish. | |
| Maybe that's the op. | |
| That's why he messaged you. | |
| Then he'll probably donate to our Patreon, surely. | |
| Yeah, oh god, yeah. | |
| Yeah, I'm really into Fyndom, ya fuck. | |
| We were just talking about those gams earlier. | |
| Uh-huh. | |
| Well, full circle. | |
| So that brings us to our final question, which is always, what are you guys looking forward to? | |
| A calzone. | |
| Probably. | |
| That's a good answer. | |
| I'm pretty hungry. | |
| It's a pizza, but it's folded. | |
| Yeah. | |
| Well, in my area, a calzone is like two pizzas put on top of each other. | |
| There's no folding about it. | |
| It's just like, hey, we decided that the bread part of the pizza was so good that we're going to run it back on the top. | |
| I had an answer for this and I literally was like, yes, I have an answer and I cannot for the fucking life of me think what it is now. | |
| So give me a minute. | |
| Mike, go. | |
| You go. | |
| You're going to have a better answer. | |
| Oh, I don't know that I really am going to have a better answer because the Super Bowl is two weeks away. | |
| What I'm mostly looking forward to is that I finally finished working, so now I have my weekend and I get to relax. | |
| I'm looking forward to a nice 6 p.m. | |
| nap today. | |
| I am going to just, I don't know, I might wake up like 12 hours later because I've just been Having that tunnel vision where you're kind of tired all the time, but you're not like really, really tired. | |
| It's just kind of annoying. | |
| And I've been like, well, just power through it. | |
| And I can do it. | |
| And I did it. | |
| And then I've made it to my weekend. | |
| And it's just one of those things where it's like, do you try to stay on your normal sleep cycle? | |
| Or do you just give up and be like, oh, Sandman, I owe you like, I don't know, like four or five hours. | |
| Let's do this. | |
| Let me cash my sleep debt to you. | |
| And so, um, just finally, like, resting up is, like, the big thing that I'm looking forward to most of all right now, so that'll be refreshing. | |
| And also, uh, doing my note review of Episode 9 of Reiner's Terrible Podcast, because it's the most lie-filled episode, so it's gonna be awesome. | |
| It's gonna be very exciting to, like, research all the shit that he said that I know is wrong. | |
| Now, Hayley, remember your thing! | |
| I honestly don't remember, which is wild, because I did have something and it was like, you know, now I just have to do some vague answer. | |
| Like, I'm looking forward to all the good things that this year will bring, which is probably not too much, but some things are good. | |
| I'm looking forward to making French toast. | |
| That's such a baller answer. | |
| I think I've never respected you more. | |
| Yeah? | |
| Yeah, I really like that. | |
| I'm looking forward to next week when you remember what you were looking forward to this week. | |
| I don't remember what it was! | |
| In two hours you're going to remember what you're going to tell me. | |
| And then we're going to have the cliffhanger, what was Hayley looking forward to last week? | |
| It'll be great. | |
| Yeah, maybe it'll pass. | |
| Whatever it is I was looking forward to will pass and I'll be like, oh, that was the thing I was totally looking forward to. | |
| I've just gotten accustomed to the fact that Hayley just sort of lives in the moment. | |
| So when Hayley gives us the honest- I so do! | |
| Like a fucking honest answer, just like, bro, I'm looking forward to French toast. | |
| I'm just like, that's exactly what I'm looking for in the answer. | |
| It's perfect. | |
| Absolutely perfect. | |
| Thank you. | |
| You're welcome. | |
| All right, so on that very wholesome note, it is time for us to, I don't know, how do you get to a breakfast? | |
| It's time for us to sassily walk like ladies towards a brunch, our asses out of hell for the week. | |
| So thank you listeners so much for listening and supporting the show. | |
| If you want to support the show, More. | |
| Harder. | |
| Better. | |
| But still for free. | |
| You can give us a 5-star review wherever you get your podcasts from. | |
| Bingo, bingo. | |
| Let them know that you like us. | |
| If you've got money and you want to give it to us, we will take it. | |
| Visit us at patreon.com slash PokerPolitics, where your donation of $5 or more per month gets you access to our slate of bonus content, including all of our series on Q-related pop media, and also the ongoing series where Hayley and Mike discuss the wacky JFK assassination podcast, like Rob Reiner nonsense. | |
| Insane stuff. | |
| Check all that out and join the Beautifuler Babies for $5 a month. | |
| Gets you all that stuff. | |
| Or you can just give us $2 a month if you just like what we're doing and you want to toss us a little tip. | |
| That's perfectly fine as well. | |
| Thank you so much to all of our Beautifuler Babies who are already hanging out up in the crib. | |
| If you've got money and you don't want to give it to us, we totally understand. | |
| You can do some good with it in a variety of ways. | |
| One of the ways that we suggest, a donation to love146.org, an organization whose vision is the end of child trafficking and exploitation. | |
| Shoutout as always to DJ Minimal Effort for our original intro song, accidentally remixed by Mike Rains into what you heard at the top of the show. | |
| Shoutout to our boy Frosty for all the voiceover work when we need it. | |
| You can find Frosty on BlueSky now at FrostyVO. | |
| Speaking of BlueSky, I'm technically there at the Mysterious L, but don't expect anything but sass frass from me. | |
| I'm a spicy boy. | |
| I fucking hate that social media platform. | |
| It's the worst. | |
| You can find the show you're listening to on Twitter at hellworld with a Q instead of an O. You can find Haley, our expert in all things Arizona crazy, at a variety of social media platforms at Arizona Right Watch or AZRW. | |
| And of course, for Mike Raines, our boy Poker and Politics is of course at Poker and Politics. | |
| So, for another successful episode of the Universal Hellboy Podcast, I've been one of your hosts, TheMysteriousL, joined as always by our aforementioned expert in all things Arizona Crazy Haley, aka Arizona Right Watch, and of course our expert in all things QAnon Crazy, Mr. Mike Rains. | |
| Good speed, Patriots! | |
| Yay! | |
| Yay! | |
| Yo, yo, yo, yo! |