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Nov. 30, 2023 - Adventures in HellwQrld

01:42:15

Adventures in HellwQrld Episode #166: Elon's Meltdown, Q's Return?!?

Elon's going nuts and Q's coming back, or is he?! It's all really thrilling and not a total letdown, we swear. Also Kissenger dies at the end so that's something to look forward to. Get bonus content on PatreonSupport this show http://supporter.acast.com/hellwqrld. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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	and we'll see you next time. Bye.
	Content Warning.
	The Adventures in Hellworld podcast talks in depth about QAnon, which means we have to talk about all kinds of child abuse and violence against people.
	Listener discretion advised.
	Hello, everybody.
	I am Mike Rains, a.k.a.
	Poker and Politics, and welcome to another episode of Adventures in Hellworld.
	This week, I am joined, as always, by Haley, a.k.a.
	Arizona Right Watch.
	Hello, everybody.
	Hello.
	I'm tired.
	Hello.
	Sleepy Haley, much like Sleepy Joe Biden.
	And I'm also joined by the mysterious Elle.
	It's me!
	I'm back, babies!
	Yeah, you can't get rid of me that easy, I suppose.
	We all missed a week, didn't we?
	Well, yeah, you guys cut some JFK material last week.
	That's right.
	That's right.
	Because tea giving and an assortment of other horse shit got in the way of our normal recording schedule.
	So I got let off the hook.
	Ha ha.
	Yes.
	Yes.
	Thank fucking God.
	What a slug this is.
	Yeah.
	So sometime in between our last episode and now, I saw a commercial on TV and it was featuring an Asian lady and she was a bank teller and she was stealing all this money.
	And I was like, what is going on here?
	What is the point of this commercial?
	And then it smashed cut to her being the banker in Monopoly and stealing money from her family and stealing money from the bank in Monopoly.
	And then the payoff line is, it's all fair in Monopoly.
	And I just thought to myself, man, Monopoly is so self-aware that it's a terrible game that sucks to play, that the only way they can market it is, cheat at Monopoly!
	It's fun to cheat at our bad game!
	And I was just like...
	Dude, I love getting an opportunity to virtue signal so early in the show.
	I'm a little triggered by the fact that you felt it was necessary to mention that that lady was Asian.
	I was waiting for a payoff to that.
	A racist payoff to the commercial?
	Obviously Mike wouldn't just mention this for no reason.
	At some point it's going to be like, get lucky at the Pai Gow Casino or whatever, you know, some crazy thing.
	I do agree that it's only fun when you cheat.
	Just like relationships.
	Yeah, that's what I meant.
	Yep.
	Actually endorsed by the Hell World Podcast.
	We love cheaters here.
	They're super great.
	But you should cheat at board games because it makes it more mysterious.
	That is absolutely not true.
	You should just get good at board games.
	Everybody should cheat and you should just, whoever cheats the best is who wins.
	No, get slightly good at board games because that level of strategic thinking means that if you ever get teleported through time back to Napoleon times or whatever, you just get to be like, sit down little man, I am the world's greatest general.
	Use cannons and place them here, and they're like, oh my god, cannons there?
	You're a fucking genius.
	Unbelievably great military strategy, this guy.
	You're truly- Battleship, you know?
	It was like Ender's Game.
	If you've never read Ender's Game, dude, at one point that guy's just like, how about I fly my spaceship up from below them?
	And everyone's like, whoa, galaxy brain, head explosion, holy shit, what a genius.
	Yeah.
	What an unparalleled mind.
	The third dimension in space?
	What?
	Huh?
	What are you talking about?
	We always just flew our ships parallel to each other, and whoever shot better won.
	Up and down?
	Impossible!
	You can't do that!
	Which is crazy because, you know, like, it is easy to talk shit, but it also does seem true because at some point somebody had to invent, like, sort of, like, guerrilla warfare tactics.
	And that was, like, semi-recently.
	That was, like, for the past, like, few hundred years.
	I don't know, the people were, like, lining up and charging at each other, like, very, like, laboriously, like, setting up and just, like, okay, all of our formations are exactly the same, so just...
	Into the meat grinder you go, you know?
	Hopefully there's a river or something we can set up across and give ourselves an advantage.
	And Noah's just like, hey boss, how about we hide and stuff?
	It's like, no, shut up.
	You shut that man right the fuck up.
	How dare you?
	Have him killed.
	Hiding in warfare?
	How ungentlemanly.
	How dare you suggest such a thing?
	We're here to kill each other, not be savages.
	Yes, exactly.
	The Lord is involved.
	That's what makes it different.
	Yes.
	Okay, like, you know, after a couple weeks away, we're easing back into the beginning segment of the show where we just talk about nothing.
	Well, what'd you do?
	What'd you do with your week off?
	Nothing, mostly.
	Well, I did get to spend time with Sarge, so mostly nothing.
	And also helping Sarge execute a weekend pass away from Gitmo.
	So Sarge and Plus One showed up, and we did some scintillating nothing in my hometown.
	And it was actually quite nice.
	And then aside from that, I'm a latchkey adult, so I got invited over to one of my friend's family's Thanksgivings, which is very thoughtful of them.
	So I enjoyed that and played video games and fucking got caught up on my Netflix catalog.
	Laid around in bed all day.
	It was great.
	Mike, what did you do?
	My Thanksgiving was mostly just a pile of stovetop stuffing and watching a lot of football.
	And we recorded the podcast on Thanksgiving.
	Yeah, and we took our first shot across the bow at Rob Reiner and Soledad O'Brien on Thanksgiving.
	Because, yeah, screw them.
	They're monsters and I hate them.
	Jesus, I've never heard of Rob Reiner so much in my fucking life.
	I know, this is coming in hot at Soledad.
	This dude is like coming off the top rope out of nowhere to get Mike's hockles all up because he's talking about JFK.
	And Mike's just like, no, dude, like JFK, that shit is done and dusted.
	But if it was done in Dusty Doe or whatever, talk about it.
	You couldn't yell at them, Mike.
	I know!
	I wouldn't have cared about this, but Soledad O'Brien just kept posting these screenshots of their podcast being more and more popular, and eventually it hit number one last week, and now it's number two in America as the most popular podcast, and I just...
	Like just pilled Rob Reiner ranting about the CIA killing Kennedy.
	America just can't get enough.
	It's catnip.
	I don't know who's actually listening.
	I'm trying to look at people talk about it and there's just like not much traction.
	I'm just like who's who the fuck who the fuck is listening to this?
	Dude, I was talking to Wubike about this.
	Us, over and over, I guess.
	I was talking to Wubike about this.
	It's the same thing.
	Allegedly, Bad Bunny has been the number one most streamed artist on Spotify for the last three years, and this year he's number two, and it's big, it's a big deal.
	I don't know a single person who listens to Bad Bunny.
	And like, I have a lot of friends that we listen to a shitload of music.
	Like, none of them are like, I mean, we know who Bad Bunny is, but none of us are just like, yo, it's time to listen to some Bad Bunny right now.
	Fuck no.
	It's never happened.
	It's never gonna happen.
	That's not true.
	I listen to anything if it's a bop.
	But like, I couldn't tell you a single one of the guy's fucking songs.
	And apparently he's like the biggest streaming music artist of all time or whatever.
	I don't know.
	It's fucking wild.
	Is it universal?
	Is it just America?
	What's the, you know?
	I know a lot of people who are in a Bad Bunny, but in the like, you know, they're Latino because it's Bad Bunny.
	So it's like, is this a universe?
	Is this the stats?
	Is it a global stat?
	Or is it just the US?
	Because it was like the graphic I saw was on a US news channel, and I don't think they care about the rest of the world.
	I mean, straight up.
	So, I'm assuming it's in the U.S., and also that would make a lot more sense.
	I mean, I don't know.
	I guess, like, congratulations, fucking Latinx community, for crushing it on the streaming.
	Doing it.
	I was going to call the area I live in White Sylvania, but we have a huge Puerto Rican and Dominican.
	Yeah, I mean, maybe those guys are all flipping out over Bad Bunny.
	Ask them.
	My caucasian ass friends don't listen to it and we and we tend to get we get pretty far out of pocket.
	I mean, we're pretty we're pretty hip and with it, you know, like we knew Conor Price's we're on the tic-tac.
	We did the stuff, you know, Ashnikko, etc.
	You get it, you know, listen to some Bad Bunny.
	I mean, I'll give it a try.
	I don't know what to expect, but if it's... I don't know.
	I just tend to like up-tempo music.
	I just saw Pussy Riot.
	Nice.
	Pussy Riot.
	They were not being detained in Russia again?
	No.
	No.
	I love that they walk the walk.
	That's the coolest thing about them.
	They are actually punk as fuck.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	It was interesting.
	It was a, it was cause it's like, you know, Pussy Riot's less of a band and it's more like, you know, the, like a feminist guerrilla art movement.
	And like, there was this like super, like there was like a guy that was a lot older than like the Pussy Riot crew who came out and he like, he does the visuals for like their current show.
	And he was just talking about like art in Russia.
	And like the, you know, growing censorship and then like what a big deal it was when Pussy Riot was arrested.
	And that's why he like started doing their visuals.
	So this was like kind of a performance art piece, like telling the story of their arrest and kind of like authoritarianism in Russia, but like accompanied to like kind of their music and then like a story.
	It was really interesting.
	There was an actual band that played before them that was fun.
	So it's just a cool show, you know?
	I like that you used the word actual band there because it means that you will probably be able to take this in the spirit that's intended, which is to say that I love that and it sounds great and it sounds interesting, but I would never want to go to a show like that.
	Oh my god, I know.
	I know that people wouldn't want to see that.
	I would love to go to a museum.
	Happy to go to a museum.
	Love to go watch somebody.
	Well, love is a strong word, but happy to watch somebody do some poetry.
	That's a cool thing.
	Happy to go to a punk rock show.
	But like, I don't really want those three things to start mixing together in a weird vestige.
	Like, I want those energies.
	They're very separate energies to me.
	Museum energy, poetry energy, and punk energy.
	That seems like a weird collab.
	I dumped water on my head and it was fun.
	I remember one show I went to, the act that opened for Garbage was a close up magician.
	And I was just like, man, I guess everyone else called out sick for the opening gig because it was really weird.
	It was just like, it was like a club.
	That's kind of awesome.
	It was like a club, maybe, I don't know, five, six hundred people were in the building and this guy just comes out on stage with his assistant and he's just like, Hi, this is Malice in Wonderland, voicing to his assistant.
	And he's like, I'm here to do some tricks before you all see garbage.
	And there's no screens around him.
	There's like no way to make his closeup magic good for anyone more than like three rows away from him.
	And he was just, he just Powered through like a 45 minute set of close-up magic, and we're all just sitting there going, pretty good, pretty good, get Shirley out here, what the fuck, come on!
	Whoa, look at that.
	Mike and a bunch of deranged like fucking 30-somethings just like demanding.
	I would have gotten nuts.
	I would have hyped him up so hard.
	I had a, like, there's some artists that I like that I don't want to go see live, like Death Grips.
	I had an opportunity to go see Death Grips live within the past year, and I was just like, you know, I don't think I need to see Death Grips live.
	And also, the venue was a little too big for it.
	Like, if I found out that Death Grips was playing in some, like, 150-person occupancy shitty dive bar in, like, a crappy part of town, then maybe I'd go see Death Grips.
	But, uh, it was like a pretty big show, and I was just like, I don't know, man, that doesn't really seem like the right... Yeah, I was just like, I'm happy to just listen to I've-seen-footage-at-home or whatever.
	Alright, I believe that we have wasted enough of the people's time by talking about things that I actually enjoy talking about.
	Now it's time to talk about the shitty state of the world and the weird QAnon conspiracy theorists that reside therein.
	Starting with our amuse-bouche.
	It's time for a light sampling of insanity.
	Get ready for the amuse-bouche.
	I actually forgot to mention this.
	This is only the second time I've heard our new intro song, and this time it just made me think that we should pitch
	Frosty down and make him sound like Buffalo Bill.
	Anyway, aboosh boosh!
	Item number one, uh, the Q website mysteriously taking away, showing you all sorts of nonsense, maybe leading you to the truth.
	And for more information on the Q website, of course, our expert in all things QAnon crazy, Mr. Mike Ray.
	It's Mike!
	What is up with the Q website?
	So the website is qofficial.net and for some reason- Excellent.
	Definitely need to drive traffic.
	Let's go!
	Yes.
	Yes.
	Straight there.
	Oh yeah.
	Get there, folks, because it's great.
	It's official?
	It's qofficial?
	It's qofficial.
	qofficial.
	Official.
	It's not a lie.
	Totally, you can trust it.
	And the website, originally it was supposed to trigger, it got posted like two weeks ago or so with a countdown.
	And the countdown was the big payoff of whatever the hell they were going to be doing.
	Was it Y2Q?
	If only, if only it was.
	Or Q2J?
	And the payoff was supposed to happen yesterday, but then they bumped the timer back another 30 hours after it struck zero yesterday.
	And so today they said that six o'clock can be dangerous.
	And then they re-updated the countdown clock to strike at eight o'clock Eastern Time, which means in about 27 minutes, we are all about to be hauled off to Gitmo.
	Yep.
	We're going to see it on the pod.
	This is just like when the national emergency broadcast happened.
	Right, exactly.
	Only this time what we're going to see is we're going to see the timer reset to another three hours or another 30 hours.
	Because this thing's... Actually, the apocalypse is tomorrow, I think.
	You know, let's get some shut eye.
	Earlier today it posted, they play little slogans on the website.
	Earlier today it was like, nothing can stop what is coming.
	Nothing stops this.
	Six o'clock is dangerous.
	Green sky en route.
	We can feel you breathing.
	Nobody escapes this.
	Nobody.
	Plant the hits.
	Yep.
	And then, uh, they changed that a little while ago to Sky Event.
	It's coming.
	And then they put up a, uh, a URL.
	And if you go to the URL, you get a spooky picture of Hillary Clinton.
	It's like a drawing of a blood, of a Hillary Clinton with her face just soaked in blood.
	Cause she's obviously been feeding off of some small child.
	It's just boomer edit.
	Like you're playing with all the edits in your phone that it does.
	And it like turns you into a cartoon and it kind of like just edits you a little bit.
	This is the one that turns you black and white.
	So it makes you look a little spooky.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	It's sort of like Skitchardy.
	Yes.
	Like some sort of like underground horror comic from like the mid to late 1990s.
	There's a lot of shit going around.
	Yeah, so probably when we're actually doing our headlines, this thing is going to click, and if the podcast ends at that moment in 24 minutes, it's because we all got sent to Gitmo, and this is all really happening.
	But again... Yeah, and then friendly QAnon people decided to upload our podcast.
	They were like, the message must get out there.
	The people must hear how powerful we are by destroying this podcast in media res.
	Yes!
	Yep.
	Yeah, SEAL Team 6 is gonna grab me and Elle first, and they're gonna have to fly across America to get Hayley.
	She can go on the limb as best she can.
	I'll just go into the desert.
	I'll just go into the desert.
	They'll never find me.
	It's a big desert.
	Yes!
	They're gonna roll up on me with their fucking flashlights.
	It's gonna be like that scene from Blade 1 where they find Pearl.
	I'm just gonna be sitting in front of my computer like this.
	Really, this guy?
	Are you sure this isn't Q?
	Did we get the wrong guy?
	Yeah.
	He looks like one of us.
	One of us!
	One of us!
	Luckily, I am white and male and straight enough that I could just be like, life matters!
	They'd be like, oh, okay, cool.
	He's good.
	He's good.
	So this, so this website is obviously nothing right?
	I mean, does it, has it ever like claimed to be anything or is it just like, Hey, we're a Q website and here's a timer.
	It's, it's happening.
	You know it, it's coming.
	Is it possible that it's a troll who's just going to keep resetting the timer until it drives them mad?
	That is possible, but someone has dug into the website and apparently they've tried to data mine the website.
	Apparently it's going to be selling a cute crop top, so it might be a merch store.
	Oh, I'm going to so get the cute crop top.
	Come on.
	You can't.
	I love crop tops.
	You can't do that.
	Mike, is this your website?
	Mike, is this an elaborate excuse to get me and Hayley in crop tops?
	Uh, and myself.
	We're all, we're all wearing them.
	We're all gonna get the crop tops.
	Yeah, that'll be our grand face reveal.
	Is this our surprise merch store that you didn't tell us about?
	Yeah, yeah, yeah!
	This is gonna be the thing where it's just like, look, let's shoot the mood.
	If we ever get up over a hundred thousand, like, fucking listeners or whatever, we'll do like a friend-style professional photo shoot wearing a bunch of cute crop tops.
	That'd be great.
	That would be great because then we'd have a hundred or thousand or more people listening to the show.
	Listeners, subscribe and you will get the crop top photo.
	Oh yeah.
	You'll see it.
	Dude.
	Have you, have you ever wanted to see what it would look like if the Michelin man was also a landslide?
	Well then guess what?
	Smash that like, subscribe.
	Hit that bell.
	Okay.
	So the QAnon website is probably going to be a merch store and I, we can't as, A publication, I guess, or whatever.
	We can't, in good consciousness, as a comedy show, recommend that anybody spend any money on QAnon merchandise.
	No, you have to steal it.
	Just go to your local Goodwill, and you'll see so much Q shit that people have gotten rid of, and then you steal it anyway.
	Yeah, Haley's not going to do that.
	She's going to break them off $39.99 plus $14.99 shipping and handling for this crop top.
	It's going to be great.
	She's going to love it.
	It's going to be great.
	You're going to be the most ironic person.
	I do have a lot of bad shirts, you know, from the events I've been to.
	Some you get them for free.
	I got an anti-pornhub shirt for free at a Turning Point event, which I think is hilarious because it's in the logo of Pornhub, so it looks really funny.
	But what does it say?
	It says, Stop Porn, or something like that.
	You're kind of clever!
	I know!
	It's not!
	It's not, it's not, it's not clever but it's in the Pornhub font so I like it.
	I have a Joe Biden with like a rocket launcher.
	Are these just regular shirts, or are these crop tops?
	These are regular shirts.
	I do have the Biden shirt with the blow that's a crop top.
	I was like, damn, you've got quite the assortment of ironic crop tops.
	I can make anything into a crop top, though.
	Well, yeah, in the same way that I can turn anything into shorts.
	True.
	But there's a big difference between making a short and buying a short.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	But yeah, my Biden shirt with the rocket launcher, and it says, make the Taliban great again.
	I don't endorse the shirt.
	I just thought it was really funny.
	She doesn't endorse the shirt, but she does endorse the Taliban.
	Moving on.
	Uh...
	Uh, no.
	I'm just not sure how interesting our closing talk is to the listener, so we'll continue
	Sorry, uh, big swingin' cocks.
	I don't know what that means.
	Why is that the headline?
	I didn't want to confuse anybody by putting the word Haley in our amuse-bouche, but this is us talking about the naval war iconic duo, the Cock Brothers, and their wretched pick for potential President of the United States.
	So for more, as always, over to Mike.
	Mike, tell the people the actual information so I don't fuck it up.
	Okay, so, uh, the Koch brothers, or the living Koch brother who remains of Team Koch Brothers... I believe it's pretty close to Cox.
	As in, the huge, throbbing Cox.
	That's how it's written in the... That's how it's written in the thing.
	I don't want listeners to think I'm... I'm bad.
	No, that's me being a goober.
	It's spelled coach, it's pronounced coke, but I prefer to pronounce it cock.
	Just listen to the story.
	Mike, what are you waiting for?
	So, the story is that Mr. Living Coke Brother decided that, you know what, he's going to take another swing at Donald Trump.
	Because the Coke Brothers have really kind of never liked Donald Trump.
	They think that he's kind of a moron and bad at this whole, like, politics thing.
	And so they have... Would this have anything to do with them actually being good at business?
	Sorry to interrupt you again, this time it's not for a bit.
	But, like, do you think that they were, like, good at business?
	That they were like, Donald Trump sucks at business, so we fucking ate him, actually?
	Uh, well, it's hard to say if they were good at business or not, because they literally inherited their billions of dollars from Daddy Coke.
	So, they're- Oh yeah, I should say for the record that I don't know anything about these guys other than the fact that- Nepo babies.
	I know they're multi-billionaires, so I didn't know if they were like some of those old fucks that were just like, yeah, I sold a bunch of people steel back in the 40s or whatever.
	It's like, oh, okay.
	Yeah, yeah, no, they yeah, they just they just got their piles of cash via just being born to the right daddy who was the one who actually did the work.
	And so They've been trying to preserve their immense wealth from Daddy every way they can, and they see Trump as a bad investment.
	So now that DeSantis has crashed and burned as hard as anyone possibly could, they're going to throw their money behind Nikki Haley and see if she has any ability to close the gap with Donnie Two-Scoops as we head our way into actual election season.
	I mean, right now the polling is obviously dreadful, but Given the fact that Trump is an omni-indicted lunatic who can't remember who the actual president is and has literally put out a post on Truth Social saying, anyone who thinks that I'm accidentally calling Biden Obama is wrong.
	I do that on purpose because Obama is the one who's totally running America and he's bad.
	I have passed all my cognitive tests.
	I do not have dementia.
	Yeah, I crushed my baby's first cognitive test, and also when I'm president again, I'm just going to point at whoever I want and send them right to jail.
	You, prison, that's what the president can do.
	You, under arrest.
	I love how some people are entertaining that idea.
	They're just like, well, technically, if he thinks they're an enemy of the state, you know, he could do it.
	It's just like, get the fuck out of here.
	You fucking, you lunatics.
	I hate your guts.
	Sorry.
	Yeah, yeah, it's really, it's not great.
	I really am kind of, you say, not enjoying this whole thing that we have going on in America right now where one of the two guys that's going to probably be the nominees for president is saying, hey, once I get back in office, I'm just going to throw all my enemies in jail and fuck them.
	And other people are going, you know, that might be bad, but Joe Biden is two and a half years older.
	So what am I to do?
	Oh no!
	I love that their whole argument is just, yeah, but Joe Biden is old.
	You know, he's old.
	And it's just like, okay, but I mean, like, but why do you hate him though?
	They're just like, because he's old.
	It's like, okay, cool.
	Good stuff.
	At least if we all get thrown in Gitmo, we'll finally be able to meet.
	That's true.
	Well, you know, that would be wonderful.
	I was about to do some gentle razzling of you, but in the Thanksgiving spirit, no razzling necessary.
	It would be a delight.
	I'm kidding.
	I'm sorry, everybody.
	Well, I mean, the thing is that, unfortunately, as Q and QAnon have stated to us repeatedly, they've been expanding and building out Gitmo for the last, I don't know, eight years.
	So we would have to get in the same wing of Gitmo, which we're all about to be sent to in about 15 minutes' time or so.
	15 minutes, exactly.
	So it's exciting.
	That's going to be rough, though.
	I don't know.
	Prison seems not fun.
	Have you guys ever thought about that, how unfun prison seems?
	So lame.
	It doesn't seem great, no.
	Yeah.
	They're probably not going to have any of my favorite foods.
	No.
	Probably not.
	I'm such a soft boy.
	The idea of prison really terrifies me because, you know, I just wouldn't do well in prison.
	I'd be like, please no.
	I don't want to be here.
	I'll say whatever you want.
	I'll roll over on whoever.
	Yes.
	Oh God.
	Whatever deal you want me to cut.
	Donald Trump's always been president.
	I love him.
	Oh, I'm right there with you.
	Oh my god.
	Okay, levity at my expense, over.
	It's time to talk about the horrible flaming crater of a state that is Arizona with our Arizona correspondent.
	Hailey, aka Arizona Right Watch.
	Yeah, I got distracted by Mike gasping, assuming that I forgot his dumb Jim Watkins thing.
	We'll get back to it.
	You post it late, it gets brought up late.
	It's time for the Arizona Roundup.
	Sure.
	We have breaking news, everybody.
	Every week we have breaking news out of Arizona.
	Shocker.
	This means nothing to both of you, probably, but the Cochise County Republicans who refused to certify the 2020 midterm here in Arizona have been indicted.
	This is a long story.
	Not really.
	It's pretty easy.
	It's just during the midterm, you know, there was a lot of like Hubbub like, hey, this election was also fake.
	Don't certify the election.
	And some, you know, Republican lawmakers have become like radicalized enough that they were like, maybe we won't certify the election.
	And it's like, well, the Arizona Constitution says you kind of got to do that.
	You know, it's kind of, that's kind of how elections work.
	Like, like almost 50,000 people in your county voted and they kind of got to need their vote to count.
	That's kind of how like the American democracy kind of works for the job that you signed up for.
	And they were like, you know what?
	No.
	Um, So when the deadline hit to when they were supposed to certify the election, they voted against doing it.
	One of the two Republicans literally said, like, I'll probably go to jail for this, but whatever.
	So anyway, Peggy Judd and Tom Crosby, they're the two Republicans that were like, we're not.
	We're we're we're pilled as fuck.
	And this is a fake election.
	Can I get that first person's name one more time?
	Peggy Judd.
	All right.
	She looks like everybody's grandma.
	She's.
	She looks like her name might be Peggy Judd.
	Yeah.
	Would you say that there's like a... Well, if your grandma's like white, but... Mine is, very much so.
	She doesn't look like everybody's grandma, but she does... She doesn't look like your abuela, you know?
	No, she doesn't look like my grandma, really.
	She doesn't really look like my grandma, but she probably looks like your grandma, Mike.
	I don't know.
	I don't know.
	No offense to you, Grandma.
	I'm just saying.
	It's just kind of funny.
	I don't know.
	It's kind of funny to think of this, like, ancient woman, like, committing high crimes.
	So, yeah.
	But, okay.
	So, obviously, it's kind of similar to the Tina Peters thing.
	It's like, you took the bullet.
	Now you're the hero, you know?
	Because I was kind of seeing the Republican reaction to this.
	And because the charges were brought by the Democrat AG, who they all say didn't win her election anyway, they're like, this is a political attack against her enemies.
	And, you know, kind of characterizing Peggy Judd, Miss Peggy Judd, and Tom Crosby as big time heroes here.
	You know, kind of like how they do with Tina Peters.
	Um, so anyway, that's kind of the little story about that.
	America Fest is... Oh, what?
	Wasn't that, wasn't Cochise County, didn't Republicans win that county?
	And people were talking about how if they didn't certify their votes, Democrats might win certain house seats in that area.
	So this was an absolutely incredibly spiteful thing these morons were doing.
	And then like, And then people were like, no, even if the Democrats would win, this would be an incredibly bad precedent because you're just letting people block votes if they feel like it.
	So no, these idiots have to certify this, even though it's like actually good for them to do so.
	But there were such children, they just wanted to not certify.
	They also sued the election director who was a Democrat and like that turned into a bunch of drama and that that person ended up just Resigning.
	There's been like a lot of turnover in the elections in the like, you know, the like election official, um, sphere, because there's a lot of misinformation and just annoying people, uh, harassing that sphere a lot right now.
	Um, and yeah, this is one of the people that resigned is the election director in Cochise County.
	So anyway, just kind of some in the weeds stuff.
	Breaking news.
	People are getting in trouble.
	Will it stop them in 2024?
	I bet it doesn't.
	I bet it doesn't.
	Will anyone ever learn a lesson?
	I bet they don't.
	Any other Arizona business to cover this week or just that breaking news?
	AmericaFest is coming to town.
	You know, the like big Turning Point USA festival that I know of it.
	I wouldn't say that I'm intimately familiar with it.
	It was like right when Rittenhouse got out they had a big ol' party for him with his own rap song and he came out to like pyrotechnics and it was just like... It was before he turned into like a cherub, right?
	Yeah.
	I mean, he looks like he got the curse from the movie The Santa Claus.
	Like, as a fat person, I'm not just judging, like, the weight gain, but, like, also, like, his face became really rosy.
	He sort of looked kind of adorable.
	Like, he was transforming into, like, the Gerber adult.
	It was really weird.
	Sorry, I digress.
	Normally you don't, like, punch it down at somebody, like, because of the way they look.
	You can punch down at Rittenhouse.
	At that rally, it had, like... He's defended a bunch of people to death, uh, crossing state lines with an illegal firearm.
	I feel like I can punch down at him.
	Yeah, that's right.
	You get a little weight, you got all rosy.
	You got the Santa Claus.
	Ah, you're gonna be Santa.
	Got him.
	But yeah, like, at that rally, it had the corpses of his victims, so it's like, I think you could punch down at the guy a little bit, you know?
	I think you could do that.
	He's not on the bill this year.
	He'll probably be there.
	He was there last year with his girlfriend.
	They were promoting some right-wing dating app.
	You remember the right stuff?
	No, I don't know why, but the moment you said girlfriend and then followed it by saying they were promoting, I was like, dating app.
	For some reason in my head, I was thinking more along the lines of the unvaccinated dating apps and all that shit.
	But then it was just like, no.
	I just... I just love how desperate these people are to find like-minded people to date that they have to create these bizarre... Can you imagine what, like, what sort of experience it must be like walking the fucking lions did if you happened to be a woman that wanted to try one of those apps?
	Like, let's just say that the anti-vax one, right?
	Like, there's an anti-vax data gap or whatever.
	Could you imagine, like, all of those guys are literally just trying to fire their incredible unvaccinated sperm into you.
	Like, that's their whole deal.
	They're really proud of it.
	They thought it was gonna make them the king of the apocalypse.
	Then the apocalypse didn't come.
	Now they're all just bricked up with all this fucking pure sperm, you know?
	I'm going to name who's at this event, and you guys are going to tell me if you want to see them or not.
	OK?
	I can't wait.
	I can't wait.
	Just like in general, or are we doing smash or pass?
	No, there's not enough women in this to smash or pass.
	Mike Lindell, you want to see Mike Lindell?
	Smash.
	Smash?
	Marjorie Taylor Greene.
	Oh, smash.
	OK, that's going to get gross if we keep that bit going.
	Steve Bannon.
	Oh my god.
	Is my answer going to be yes to any of them?
	I mean, no.
	You don't want to see any of them?
	Do you want to see Vivek?
	I don't know who that is, so no.
	Ram Swami.
	Yeah, okay.
	What about Roseanne Barr?
	God, no.
	No.
	Robert Schneider.
	No, fuck no.
	God.
	Also, I've already seen him.
	You've seen Rob Schneider?
	Kind of.
	Yeah, kind of.
	What does it have to do with that?
	Jack Posobiec.
	You want to see Jack Posobiec?
	I love Jack Posobiec because he...
	Because all the Pizzagate people, which we're going to get into in our headlines, they love doing this whole bullshit about, Pizzagate wasn't about comic ping pong.
	It was about like Epstein and White and NXIVM and blah, blah, blah.
	And Jack Nisobic got big because he went to comic ping pong and basically faked a panic attack.
	That was how he went viral and got his foot in the door in the right-wing griftosphere.
	Was he getting too close to the truth that they fucking hit him with the fucking Havana Ray or whatever?
	Like, why was he having a panic attack and coming ping pong?
	Actually, strike that for the record, I don't care.
	If you think it's interesting to the listener, go nuts, but I don't actually give a fuck.
	No, it was just him faking shit.
	It was literally what happened.
	He was like, I'm gonna come and ping pong and it all seems normal.
	Hey, wait a minute.
	Where did that kid go?
	He just basically did this bit for like 10 minutes where he started like freaking out about children in the building until eventually someone in the staff was like, sir, you're like red in the face and freaking out now.
	You need to leave.
	Why are you making me leave?
	What are you doing?
	And it was just blowing up.
	Where are the children?
	Yeah, exactly.
	It was all that shit.
	The full-on Randy Mars.
	I thought this was America!
	Yeah, basically.
	Exactly.
	Exactly that.
	And so whenever these people are just like, this isn't about Aliphantus and Comet Ping Pong.
	It's like, well then, what was Episopic doing in Comet?
	Shut up!
	Leave us alone!
	Jeez, Mike.
	If you go off like this on every one of these people that you love, we're going to be here all day.
	I know, it's true.
	I'll try to keep up with my pants.
	I'll do my best.
	James O'Keefe is going to be there.
	You want to see James O'Keefe?
	I literally don't know who that is.
	Excellent.
	He's the Project Veritas guy.
	Yeah, he was the guy.
	He basically ran a grift and it got very popular and then the people that were part of his grift operation fired him because he was literally spending all their money on incredibly self-indulgent bullshit.
	He paid like $30,000 to record a music video.
	He was doing like, just literally what any grifter would do with a pile of cash and no oversight.
	Just run it right up his nose as hard as possible.
	Just like, it's okay.
	No asterisks for the right price.
	I'll like anybody.
	He does not do, I mean, it is still right wing stuff when he goes to America Fest, but he does dance performance.
	I'm not even kidding.
	I was like wondering what's going on when I first saw him walking around because he had like a entourage of people dressed up in FBI jackets and I'm like what is happening and then when he finally went on stage it was like People came out dancing as FBI performers, but they were dancing, they were performers.
	And then, like, he comes out and dances.
	And, like, it's a big old thing.
	And it's like, whoa, this is really theater kid.
	He is.
	He's a theater kid.
	Who doesn't love a song and dance man.
	About the FBI persecuting him in his head.
	Oh, God.
	He's like the modern day Christ.
	I thought there was going to be a January 6th pit where the FBI people were in the crowd, like, egging people on and provoking them to attack the Capitol.
	No, it's about how they personally persecuted him.
	It's fucking supposed to be on the stage for a reason there, boys and girls.
	And others, like, you know, keep it in your fucking relative space.
	We got four minutes.
	The fourth wall is there for a fucking reason.
	Uh, okay.
	Two minutes to get through speed rounds.
	Where are these losers?
	Okay.
	I'll just, I'll, for two minutes, I'll just tell you who else is.
	So you don't want to see, you do or don't want to see Mike Lindell.
	Tell me the truth.
	Do you want to see Matt Gaetz?
	Mike wants to see all these people so he can yell at them to their face.
	You can't help but want to see him because you want to see if you can see yourself through the reflection in his forehead.
	Bazinga, he's a loser and I hate him and he's a pederast and he's got a big dumb forehead.
	Pass.
	Yeah.
	Dennis Prager is also going to be there.
	Candace Owens.
	Glenn Beck.
	You want to see Glenn Beck?
	Tucker Carlson.
	Charlie Kirk.
	You want to see Benny Johnson?
	I just love the fact that this is truly GrifterCon.
	I can't believe... Riley Gaines.
	Who's Riley Gaines?
	The swimmer.
	The anti-trans swimmer.
	The woman who lost and she just became toxic for every political ad that she appeared in.
	The woman who finished fifth and then complained about the trans swimmer who beat a lot of other people.
	If that trans swimmer wasn't involved, I wouldn't have finished fourth!
	God damn it!
	It's like, wow, congratulations!
	You still wouldn't have made the podium!
	How great!
	We got one more minute.
	Trump Jr.
	is going to be there, obviously, and, uh, Gillifrey, his girlfriend.
	Oh, yeah.
	We're 35 seconds from Gitmo.
	So good.
	I can't wait.
	Okay.
	Okay.
	Yao Ming Park is going to be there.
	You know Yao Ming Park?
	Nope.
	Dude, y'all are setting yourself up for some fuckin' Geraldo Rivera type shit right now.
	I bet it resets.
	Yeah, it's going to be... What's the website?
	This is going to be the most maximum of nothing, dude.
	This is like what... It's going to 30... It's going to go another 30 hours.
	What's the website?
	QOfficial.net.
	Yeah, get ready, people who happen to be listening to this podcast long after this has already transpired.
	This must be fucking incredibly scintillating.
	Resettings.
	You're going to get our real-time reaction to the resetting of the website.
	I hope it's rich.
	It's nothing.
	Nothing's happening.
	Oh, God.
	Oh, no!
	They're at my door!
	It's Seal Team 6!
	It's all over!
	There's nothing happening.
	It just is nothing.
	Oh, this is so terrifying.
	Oh, no!
	Oh, God!
	It says, coming soon.
	They reset it to two days and six minutes.
	They reset it to two days and seven minutes.
	This is a meme, right?
	Oh, what an absolute hilarious jame.
	Breaking news, folks, it reset.
	Yes.
	Nice.
	Congratulations.
	I thought it was going to be 30 hours.
	It was actually 48 hours.
	See, the thing is, is that like this sort of stuff, This sort of stuff is like ARG sort of bullshit, and I'm not sure, I don't think the Q people have it in them to actually do ARG stuff.
	It would be great if at some point all of this ended up being like, at some point the prestige of this was like, some random person no one's ever heard of is like, actually I was Q the whole time, and this is all in ARG, get fucked losers, it'd be great!
	Be like, yeah!
	I mean, that's the question is, could QAnon actually play like Cicada 3301?
	Could they have actually done all the work that that incredibly bizarre ARG made the people Who got invested in it do.
	Because like, some of the shit that happened in that thing was just nuts, where they had to like, coordinate, like, geolocate all these different things on the planet.
	It was an incredibly involved process, which, I mean, maybe they could do it.
	Yeah, and the one piece, so to speak.
	Congratulations, your treasure, you get inducted into a group of other ding-dongs.
	Why do you think it keeps resetting, Mike?
	I'm assuming it's because they don't have the store to sell the crop tops ready yet.
	It's like, oh shit, fuck.
	We haven't secured the fucking server to PayPal yet.
	So we can't sell the crop tops.
	Reset it for another two days.
	Building hype?
	You think they're building hype?
	Well, I think they are.
	I mean, they're resetting the title screen of the site.
	Obviously, they're trying to do stuff to get people all amped up, but...
	Like, just... you... Eventually, when you cry wolf too many times, people stop buying into the countdown.
	At this point, I don't think anyone's gonna be actually looking for the countdown in two days.
	They're just gonna... When the site opens, it opens.
	Or whatever.
	I can't believe that they're giving me enough credit to be able to edge for 48 hours.
	That's insane.
	That's like some sting shit.
	I'm not on that level, are you kidding me?
	Dude, at some point that's gonna happen.
	I'm gonna be like, oh no, I'm too early!
	And then I will get raptured because Q, I will have made Q cry.
	My palms will be very hairy.
	Yes.
	Okay, we talked about Save America, Caucasian Con, or whatever it's called, America is Great Fest, and now we have to talk about, oh yeah, the last Boosh topic, quickly.
	Jim Watkins says he knows some member of Q-Team, because their name happens to be James Watkins, but I think there might be a little more to it than that.
	Mike, what's up with Jim Watkins' claim that he knows of Q-Team?
	So Jim felt bigfooted by this website and also by our boy Elon getting on that QAnon tip.
	And so Jim decided to let everybody know, hey, I'm important.
	I matter in the QAnon community.
	And he posted a tweet that said, you are the only one in that position.
	We have a right to privacy.
	There is a number of the Fourth and Fourteenth Amendments that gives Americans that.
	I don't know all of the Q team.
	I have told you that the Q star has nothing to do with it.
	The ones I know are not AI.
	I'd rather be worm dirt than tell.
	In time, you will find out in the meantime.
	So, Jim's like, yeah, I've hung out with some cute team.
	They were pretty cool guys, me and them.
	We were bros.
	We caught a few beers.
	We talked about saving the world from the pederasts, as you do.
	I'm glad that he took time out of his day to express his thoughts in the way only he can, which is sounding like he is, in fact, AI.
	Like, the fact that he brought that up, like, that sentence structure was very weak and not good.
	Let's just say, in the middle of it, he's just like, and also I am not AI.
	Like, it's just like, okay, cool.
	Good work, Chad Jeepy Watkins.
	Yeah, he's a very dumb, very dumb man who I'm allowed to call senile because that's
	literally why he tried to get Frederick Brennan thrown in jail in the Philippines.
	Because you don't have freedom of speech in the Philippines, and they can arrest you for insulting people.
	So, you can't do that here, Jim, so I can say whatever I want.
	First Amendment!
	Woo!
	I win!
	Yeah, come at me, the Philippines!
	I fucking dare ya!
	Maybe I'd be afraid if you were India, because they keep trying to assassinate people in other countries.
	Yes.
	But that's not QAnon related, so we'll just leave that for other people to discuss.
	And we'll move on to our headlines for the week, because Lord knows we have one of them.
	From the digital headlines to the digital front lines, it's Q's in the News.
	Alright, would you believe it?
	Elon Musk said and or did a stupid thing this week.
	I am beside myself with shock.
	But this week's one was especially stupid, and returning to play one of our old favorites, like so much Piano Man.
	Mike, what has Elon tuned up for us this week?
	So, last week we were going to talk about how Elon was Pretty much going full anti-Semite and all that good fun stuff.
	And, um, it was not great.
	And it was, it was kind of in my, in my mind.
	He probably can't top this.
	There's probably no depths that he could not go to that would be worse than this.
	And then Elon was like, screw you, Mike, hold my beer.
	And this week he decided to go full pizza gate.
	So that was, uh, really not expected.
	Because Pizzagate, for those of you who don't know, is basically proto-QAnon.
	It was the big conspiracy theory that existed about the Democrats and the Deep State and all the bad people.
	And that came out about a year before Q started posting his bullshit on 4chan.
	So this was your standard Illuminati horror story, but it had a physical location, Comet Ping Pong, it had named enemies, John Podesta and Hillary Clinton, and all that good fun stuff.
	And This all led to some poor guy who had brain worms actually storming into Comet Ping Pong with a gun and firing off shots and getting himself arrested, at which point all the people that promoted Pizzagate were like, oh shit, we didn't mean that.
	No, that guy was totally out of pocket.
	I don't know how anyone could have done that.
	And the guy who did it was literally like, I went there to save the children.
	I was trying to save the children from the murderous sex dungeon that people on the internet told me existed inside Comet Ping Pong.
	That is why I committed the crime I committed.
	And then that guy got arrested for a jillion years because that's a crazy thing to do and say.
	Yes, yeah.
	I think he got like three years in change or something for his crimes.
	Yeah, that's an insanely low amount for charging into a place with a fucking automatic rifle and being like, I'm gonna waste anybody here!
	I'm gonna fucking kill anybody here who's ever close to a basement!
	You know, like, it's insane.
	Uh, yeah.
	I didn't know that you could just, you know, less than a nickel for that, you just run into a crowded place with a fucking fully automatic weapon and claim you're gonna start killing people to save kids, and they're just like, okay, three years for you.
	Alright, with good behavior, like, like, like, you know, 18 months or whatever, get the fuck out of here, buddy.
	Yeah, so the tweet in question here was an office meme of Michael Scott and a lady who I don't recognize, because I don't watch The Office, because screw it, it's not a good show.
	Boom.
	I'm willing to throw down my gauntlet on that.
	But basically, Michael Scott says, Pizzagate is real.
	The woman says, no, it isn't.
	We have experts.
	And then the guy says, they traffic children.
	And then she says, but we have experts.
	And he says, your expert just went to jail for child porn.
	And then the woman looks at him shocked.
	And this meme is mostly stemming from the fact that two different people... It's Pam for Office Watchers.
	I looked up the meme.
	It's Pam.
	Oh, I thought it was Leslie Knope.
	So anyways...
	This whole thing comes from the fact that there was a guy that worked for ABC News, and there was another guy who ran a news aggregator site, and these two men in recent times have been indicted for possession of child pornography materials.
	And Basically, when these guys got arrested, QAnon created this narrative that these were the men that debunked Pizzagate.
	They were literally the bleeding tip of the spear leading the charge to discredit and disprove Pizzagate.
	And now they've been caught with kiddie porn.
	So what does that tell you about these people?
	What does it tell you about the veracity of Pizzagate?
	Huh?
	Huh?
	The ABC News guy never actually wrote a story about Pizzagate, and I have seen no sourcing materials that the guy that ran the news aggregator site ever did that either.
	And the grand total of things that were noted about that were that John Podesta retweeted one of the things the guy said.
	That was the quote-unquote tight circle of friendship between these two men was a retweet.
	So it's not so much on the whole connection between the actual inner circle of evil pederasts and these schmucks who... Let's not get too hasty.
	That's about the amount I interact with Hayley outside of the show.
	And I'd like to think that we're pretty tight.
	Maybe, maybe not criminal conspiracy type, but you know, fairly tight.
	I'd take charge for you.
	Oh, that's very foolish.
	I don't know if I want that.
	I'm just kidding.
	But no, you said it.
	It's legally binding now.
	So I get, I get, I get one free one.
	It's gotta be like a misdemeanor though.
	Nothing crazy.
	I'll try to do something cool in your honor.
	Okay.
	We'll fly L out to Dallas and he'll repaint the Kennedy X in a much cooler color.
	You guys keep trying to drag me to hot places.
	Why does all the cool conspiracy stuff happen in fucking hot places?
	We'll go to Alaska and steal a penguin.
	Nice.
	Do they have penguins in Alaska?
	I don't think so.
	They're in Antarctica or something.
	Yeah, they're like a South American thing.
	You know what?
	Fuck it.
	First we'll go to South America, we'll grab the penguin, then it's up to Alaska for a relaxing penguin experience.
	Okay, we're wildly in the weeds now.
	What the hell were we talking about?
	Oh yeah, Elon Musk.
	The only thing we can't talk about this week.
	Oh yes.
	Yeah.
	Yeah, so Elon's posting of this tweet led to a massive celebration in the QAnon and Pizzagate communities because they're- Picture Tusken Raider.
	They're like, raising their stances above their heads and making that noise.
	You know the one.
	The Tusken Raider noise.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	Yeah, so basically, they're all thrilled because their dumb-pilled, emerald-minded, apartheid daddy is now on Team Pizzagate, which is not a good sign for the man's mental health.
	And so basically after that all happened, now people are trying to get the hashtag PizzagateIsReal trending.
	Liz Kroken and her bag of shitheels are trying to get Elon to unban the movie Out of Shadows so it can be distributed and streamed on Twitter directly.
	Basically, all these people are looking at this and just being like, okay, obviously the inmates are in the asylum now, obviously we're the ones who are, uh, we've got Elon's ear, so let's do this.
	Let's just, let's just go straight to crazy town.
	And... That dumb fuck will retweet anything.
	Yes, basically.
	Oh yeah, it's Ron Burgundy.
	He'll read anything on the teleprompter, whatever you want.
	Just slide it in there and boom, he'll just say it.
	Mike, we need to take a field trip, and Hayley, if you want to come.
	We can all take a field trip to Comet Ping Pong.
	Figure out if they have a basement.
	Just confirm it with our own eyes, just to make sure.
	Mike, we should.
	We could do a DC trip next, you know?
	We can throw down the gauntlet, motherfucker.
	Boom.
	Here's the gauntlet.
	$100,000 ahead.
	Meet us at Common Ping Pong, and if you can find a basement, we'll give you $100,000.
	And if you can't, give us $100,000.
	And then that'll be that, right?
	No basement, no pizza gate.
	That's that.
	And then there's your challenge.
	Yes.
	Cut off a sizable slice of that for a Common Ping Pong guy.
	Everybody happy.
	Yeah, my actual challenge is to have Elon Musk buy Comet Ping Pong from James Elephantus and then use some of his machines from The Boring Company to drill under Comet Ping Pong to try to find the basement.
	I think that could settle this thing once and for all.
	I'm just waiting for Elon Musk to stop using, to like, let the mask slip and finally reveal his grand plan where he is just like, I used The Boring Company to create the fucking, the circle I needed for the Philosopher's Stone.
	Because everything he does, like, it's either super genius, crazy, mad genius level nonsense, like he actually is like, doing 4D chess stuff, or he's just like, the biggest buffoon to ever have billions of dollars.
	He's like he's just so much worse than SBF because SBF just like fucked up and just like got caught just blew all his like alleged wealth immediately but Elon's just like slowly bleeding it off with all of his goodwill and it's leaving this incredible messy trail behind it.
	I love it.
	Oh yeah, he's working real hard to destroy the whole idea that people have in their heads that capitalism is some sort of meritocracy.
	And it's like, Elon's the richest man in the world, so obviously he's a genius who earned his wealth.
	And it's like, actually, no, it's really obvious he didn't.
	It's really obvious the man's just dumber than a brick.
	And has just managed to aggressively fail up through a series of crazy missteps that has now led him to this magical moment where He is literally driving Twitter into the ground as hard and as fast as he possibly can.
	I saw reports before today's breaking news, which we haven't even gotten into at this moment, that Twitter was on pace to lose $75 million this year between all the advertisers fleeing and everything else going on.
	So there's nothing like paying $44 billion for a site that is just gapingly bleeding money out.
	It's just like left and right.
	Honestly, if it's only losing $70 million, I don't think that's fast enough for him.
	Whatever intentional tanking he wants to do, I can just picture him just being like, fuck, what do I have to do to get this thing to fucking sink faster?
	My god, I've already been anti-Semitic and racist, and now I'm talking about Pizzagate?
	What the fuck do these people want from me?
	Well, we were about to find out right this second because Elon was doing a public interview in front of a crowd and everything with cameras all around him.
	And the interviewer asked him about, hey, all these advertisers leaving your platform.
	How does that feel?
	And Elon said to all the people that are trying to blackmail me by not advertising on Twitter, go fuck yourselves.
	And he even said, hi, Bob, directing a shot at Bob Iger, the guy that runs Disney.
	Because that's a really good idea.
	Fuck with the mouse.
	Don't try to repair that bridge.
	Don't try to get that Disney money.
	That would be a stupid business move.
	Yeah, again, I mean, I just can't wait for, like, his New Year's Eve special press conference where he just gets on stage and then says the N-word twice.
	Like, after the shot for the first time wears down, he just says it again for good measure.
	And then you just see him pull out his phone and, like, monitor Twitter stock price, like, sweating nervously, just hoping it sinks fast enough.
	Like, he's in some sort of, like, weird Faustian bargain where he has to, like, reverse Brewster's Millions, his Twitter pie.
	So it's just, fuck, I have to get it to go from 44 billion to zero before 2025 or I'm dead.
	And then it'd be Elzebubble Steel my soul.
	Yeah, it is.
	And what's really odd is that what you just said about him saying the N-word twice, he literally repeated the go fuck yourself.
	He was just so, he just thought he nailed it.
	He thought the first time he said it, he was like, oh man, I just showed them what a big strong boy I am.
	So then he was like, go fuck yourself.
	Then he just paused and he was like, go fuck yourself.
	When I was a younger lad, I was at a theater production, and at one point, one of my co-stars was delivering a monologue, and it ended with the line, like, you'll be sorry, and then it followed, like, that was the lead-in to the final line, but my co-star in this particular performance Uh, could not recall the follow-up line.
	So, he just turned to me and went, you'll be sorry.
	And then narrowed his eyes and just went, you'll be sorry.
	And I was just like, okay, Ben, I understand what you're communicating here.
	Like, you need to say less.
	And then just fucking went on with it.
	It was just so funny.
	And that moment he was just like, like, I could just picture the wheels turning where he's just like, oh shit, I don't remember what the next line is.
	Oh shit, what am I going to do?
	And he's just like, repeat the last line and squint.
	You'll be sorry.
	You'll be sorry.
	Oh god, I love shit like that.
	I just love when the wheels fall off in acting and you have to improv it.
	You just gotta wing it, try to make it work.
	Oh man, that is... That was insane.
	In another performance on that same show, like, I was viciously hungover, so I just sat down on the stage at one point, like, to deliver one of my monologues.
	I was like, dude, I'm tired.
	I was like, I'm so tired and out of here.
	I waited for the most dramatically appropriate time to have my character just be like, dude, I would be like, this is where my character would be exasperated enough for me to sneak in a quick sit.
	Good shit.
	Anyway, but yeah, so I get it, Elon.
	Sometimes you want to repeat stuff for a cool effect or because you don't know your next line
	At least his hairline is real, you know Nobody can take that away from him.
	He's got a majestic and totally all-natural hairline.
	Yeah, so he is just absolutely doing everything he can to pander to the worst people on the planet.
	It's so funny that back when he was doing this shit to try to make Cat Turd happy, it was like, man, Elon, really?
	Like Cat Turd is your like BFF and this is your dream is to try to get this guy to like you.
	And now he's just like speed run past Cat Turd to like Liz Kroken and all the crazy anti-Semites and QAnon.
	Random Kruiper like counts.
	It's just like awful.
	Oh yeah, like just anyone, any right-wing nut, they'll listen to him.
	He's just there for them.
	And Media Matters has pointed this out and this basically told like, this is like, but yo advertisers, this is bad.
	So Elon is now suing Media Matters.
	And the best part about this is the lawsuit that they've filed basically states that Media Matters is not lying, that it is possible for your ad to be shown next to neo-Nazi content.
	But they're like, Media Matters, like, followed a very specific series of people and then hit refresh a few times to get those screenshots to come up.
	So that makes this, like, dirty pool.
	It's like totally cheating.
	They're like, we allege that the thing they say is true, but we also allege that we think that it's kind of a dick move that they told anyone about it.
	So we would like to sue them, please.
	Shout out to the reporter that got named in the lawsuit, Eric Hananoki.
	He's that, he must have been the coolest guy in the fucking office that day.
	Would you not get the guy who gets sued by Elon just for telling the truth a beer?
	You know?
	Yeah.
	I want to hang out with him long enough so that hopefully I can get close enough to Elon to make my pitch.
	Which is, hey Elon, if you are not a weird genius and intentionally tanking all of your shit, which I do give you a little bit more credit for every week because it makes more sense than reality.
	Uh, you need someone on payroll to just tell you to stop doing stupid shit.
	To just be like, hey, think twice about that one, buddy.
	That's going to make you come off like a big fucking weenus.
	And I'm that guy!
	Because I kind of hate your guts, but I will take your money.
	And I think that's going to work out for us.
	And be like, hey, I'll just sit next to you, and when you go to tweet a thing, I'll just be like, hey, you want to tweet that, buddy?
	You sure about that one?
	That sounds pretty racist, buddy.
	Like, people are gonna get mad at you about that.
	And then when you say something angry about cucklover, I'll be like, no, dude.
	Like, regular people will get angry about this.
	Like, calm down.
	I could be that guy!
	For only, like, a high six figures, you know?
	No big deal.
	You'd barely even feel a tickle, oh my god.
	I hate that he has money and I don't.
	It makes my bile rise up.
	Because I'm not the best guy, but God, I'm so much better than him.
	I don't want all of his money, I have to take more of it.
	Just a fraction.
	Just a little fraction of the money, you know?
	It's not fair.
	I hereby solemnly swear that if I'm ever about to take over to billionaire, I'll donate enough money to make sure that never happens.
	$999,999,999,999.
	That's my limit.
	No billionaire for me.
	Billionaires are dirtbags.
	I'm multi-millionaires.
	Dude, those guys are sick.
	99999. That's my limit. No billionaire for me. Billionaires are dirtbags. I mean, multi-millionaires?
	Dude, those guys are sick. Those guys are the sickest. You know?
	Yeah.
	Five car garage.
	Who needs seven?
	It's outdated.
	Yeah, seven is gauche.
	Five, work advantage.
	Come on, Jay Leno, get out of here.
	I do like the, I mean, I don't like it because it's annoying, but, uh, getting these random ads on Twitter now from guys that like want to suck Elon's ass and keep Twitter afloat.
	So they're just like buying ads that it's just a line and it says, I'm buying this ad to support free speech.
	Have you been getting those?
	I got one from like based guy, you know, just some random ass generic ass name.
	And it's like, this is the state of this website now.
	Yeah, I haven't gotten those.
	What I do get is when I'm following any account that has an actual follower account, I'll just get tons of porn bots and crypto scams and people being like, this trade changed my life!
	follow this account for more trade advice. Today, because the one thing that was funny is like
	usually, usually the porn bots, the only fans accounts, they like flag their own posts as
	being nudity. And if you click them, there's like no nudity.
	It's like you're lying to me.
	Like, what, why are you doing this to me, bro? What's going on here? You're, you're full of
	Did you get tricked by a click to uncensor? Oh, yeah. Yeah.
	Yeah, it's a- it's a- it's a- it's a- Got him.
	Like, yeah, like so many of those, so many of those porn bots are just like, you bored- Damn tricksters.
	Yeah, they're like, you bored- Play with your heart.
	Yes, absolutely!
	They're, they're, they're, they're scaring me off!
	See your fucking siren slug promising me it all behind the click to un-obscure button?
	Yes!
	Oh, it's...
	It's you bored of a cherry emoji, and it's like, of course!
	Show me what you've got, Rosie!
	And then I click on it, and it's just a woman wearing a crop top with a cute logo on it.
	Boom!
	I'm like, oh no!
	Cute crop top?
	Yeah, is it a cute crop top, exactly?
	No, it was a regular crop top.
	I was lying.
	I was embellishing to make the point.
	I'd be like, a lot of crop tops can be cute.
	They don't have to be cute crop tops.
	Yeah, I was doing punch-up on my own pit.
	It was great.
	But yeah, but today I was like scrolling by people's replies and there was just this, this lady's ass just hanging out in the post.
	And I was like, Oh, now we're not even blurring it anymore.
	We're just, we're just showing the bum here.
	I was like, okay.
	Way to go, Elon.
	I enjoy your website.
	Now just giving me like no context, nudity in the replies of someone talking about the gross domestic product of America being 5.2 this quarter.
	Yeah, dude.
	They got fucking, they got spicy content.
	Twitter was already serving that up, literally top comment on everything I was seeing when I left Twitter.
	Yeah.
	It was just like, well, like it would be a combination of like blue checks and then like blue checks that were there to just be like, Elon Musk is great and I hate people that aren't white.
	And then, uh, like the next one would be a blue check that would just be like, want to see more?
	Check out my OF.
	Like I'm hotter than her.
	And it's just like, yeah, it's Hillary Clinton.
	I mean, I'm hotter than her, you know, like big deal.
	But like, I'm not trying to sell it early fans off of it.
	Like there's a time and a place, you know?
	Oh, that was the weirdest thing ever!
	There was a post, and this person quote-tweeted this to a person, and they said, you're not going to believe what this is in response to.
	And it was a picture of a Hollywood starlet, and the caption was, big deal, this woman is way more attractive.
	I forget who the woman in question was.
	And when you click the quote tweet and you go back to the original post, it's a picture of a baby.
	The JLo post?
	That was so funny.
	It was like Prince of Charlotte.
	Yeah, that's what it was.
	Jennifer Lawrence is way hotter. It was like Prince of Charlotte. Yeah, that's what it was.
	To be fair, Jennifer Lawrence is hotter than a baby.
	She is hotter than the baby, yeah.
	She's hot.
	You know what?
	I will say that I would take Jennifer Lawrence over nearly every baby.
	Lopez.
	Sorry, not Lawrence.
	You know, either.
	Honestly.
	Yes.
	Although, if I had two brothers, it would be Jennifer Lopez, for sure.
	Wow.
	Like, yeah.
	The thing about... So... Fucking Elon Musk.
	The thing about the guy is that, like, what's his endgame with all of this horseshit?
	Like, what does he think is going to happen?
	Assuming that he's not intentionally trying to tank Twitter, like, with all of this stuff that he keeps doing and the doubling down and just being like, hey, fuck you if you don't want to advertise on Twitter, like, do we think that, like, is he just going by the seat of his pants, probably?
	Is there any way for him, does he think there's any way for him to ever make money off of this?
	Like, what's the end goal?
	Is it just, besides Twitter, a crater?
	Who knows?
	Allegedly, like a month or two ago, there was an all-hands-on-deck meeting where Elon was like, find ways to make us more money!
	And all of his staff were like, yeah, we'll get right on that, boss.
	No problem.
	While we're doing that, can you please tell all our former advertisers to go fuck themselves?
	And Elon was like, nope!
	Can't do that!
	I'm a big, edgy boy.
	I've got to...
	I feel like what's going to happen in the end is at some point he is either going to like sell or
	shutter Twitter and he's just going to play himself as the victim and be like, look, I tried to make
	a free speech platform. I fought the good fight, but it just turns out that the corporate deep
	state was too strong and they brought their waves of censorship down upon me. And like they were the
	ones who destroyed Twitter.
	It wasn't me.
	I did everything that I could as a noble free speech advocate.
	And I was just beaten by the more powerful machine.
	Yeah, he bought it for $44 billion, he'll sell it to some VC for $2 billion or whatever, and then they will find out that they also can't make money off of it, and then it will go away, or it will get sold to somebody else, and name will leave for like $200 million.
	That seems like it is where we're going.
	Eventually, Twitter will be so inexpensive that Tom from MySpace will be able to buy it, and then the circle will be completed.
	Dude, that'd be awesome.
	That would be sick, dude.
	If fucking Emperor Tom, like, came over and, like, just fucking sat upon the Twitter throne, like, amidst the ruins of the kingdom, it was just like, this is it.
	This is where I'm going to fucking rebuild.
	I'd be like, hell yeah, Tom.
	I'm here with you.
	I'm here for that.
	I'm here with you.
	I don't want top eight, but I do want to be able to put a song on my profile.
	I do want a top eight.
	I don't.
	I liked being like, these eight people in my life are more important than you.
	You should be trying harder to achieve this top 8.
	And if you're cool with being not top 8, then I'm cool with my top 8 being what it is.
	Top 8 is for the people that earn it.
	I was nearly that cool when I had Myspace.
	I was a fucking loser.
	I was this chick's rebound and we had an unbelievably horrible first date and that was the end of it.
	But before our date, she put me in her top eight and she sent me all these messages from her ex
	about how furious her ex was that I was the new guy. And it was just so funny.
	I was just there to make him mad.
	She actually didn't like me, but it was just the funniest thing in the world that this guy got just red in the face over the top eight demotion, and then me getting the bump, me getting the upgrade to top eight.
	I think I even made top column.
	I was like top four.
	I was killing it.
	Oh my god, dude.
	Did you ever hit the coveted number one?
	The goaded spot?
	Nope.
	I was quickly out of the top 8 after that date.
	It was an incredibly bad experience.
	You were just a move.
	You were just a chess move in the game of love.
	Yep.
	100%.
	Oh God.
	I wasn't even a knight or a bishop.
	I was a pawn.
	I was a very quickly sacrificed pawn.
	I was a much shittier person back then, and this is not a brag, it is simply a funny anecdote and a true story that happened to me.
	But back during my stupid Myspace days, I roasted one of my co-workers at the time so badly that the vice president of the whole ass corporation that I worked for got in touch with the location I worked at and was just like, hey, you need to like...
	Take that down.
	This is a pretty big corporation.
	Let's just say that if you needed a place to stop to acquire some games, this place might be able to assist you with this.
	Uh, and, uh, so this is back during the Myspace days.
	We're talking like 2007, 2008 or whatever.
	And, uh, one of my coworkers got under my skin and I just went off on this fucking screen on them on my personal Myspace page.
	And, uh, suddenly I had some like big wig suits just being like, Hey, you need to like, you need to remove that.
	I was like, Oh snap.
	This escalated real quick.
	I don't know.
	I don't know who they complained to, but it went straight to the top.
	Oh, that's true.
	So I don't endorse doing shit like that.
	That was obviously a bad, stupid thing for me to do, and it almost cost me my job.
	So, again, that was not a brag, but it is funny to have somebody who's making literal millions of dollars, having to talk to me, absolute bottom rung employee in their company, to just be like, stop bullying your co-worker on Myspace.
	If I was that guy and that was my job for the day, I'd be like, you fucking serious?
	I can't delegate this!
	I can't have my assistant's assistant yell at this guy for me!
	Yeah, so unreal.
	Oh, jeez.
	Okay, so I think that's just about all the Elon I could stomach for the week.
	Although I don't mind the show going a little bit long because we did, you know, miss it last week.
	So, let's wrap up.
	Did we have something else to talk about in the Q in the News segment?
	No, it was just Elon all the time.
	It just got listed twice!
	Well, just kidding!
	We can stop talking about Elon and move straight to our glorious mailbag.
	Wonderful.
	Our listeners got questions, we got answers.
	It's time for Q and A.
	Oh, two weeks worth of questions.
	Yeah, we have four questions.
	I think five.
	My God.
	It's so powerful.
	Duke, the curse.
	Eric, the super secret deep state, what the rest of the state operative says,
	okay, this will be the third time I've tried to get this question in before you started recording.
	Imagine you're setting up an ice cream company like Ben & Jerry's, only instead of smoking pot all the time, you're all Red Pill.
	What Q-themed flavors would you guys come up with?
	I think this is great.
	I like that you've you've desperately tried to get this in three times.
	This is your important.
	Yeah, this is the question.
	He wants to know he wants this answered.
	So we got it.
	We got Taylor green.
	So green tea and matcha flavored.
	A sick answer L. Why are you so good at shit like this instead of stuff that makes cash?
	Anyway, sorry.
	So it's like it was just queuing on ice cream.
	Yes.
	It's okay.
	I got where we go one.
	We go almond brown butter magnum ice cream.
	Anyone else?
	That was in the ballpark.
	Oh, here we go.
	Now Mike is on the hook to come up with a QAnon pun for ice cream.
	Can he do it?
	Oh, no, I can't because what I literally had when I heard Haley's like it's mine just jumped out of my head because I had, oh, a cake flavored ice cream.
	That's the cake awakening.
	I mean, so.
	That one's good.
	I like that one.
	Yeah.
	We nailed it.
	Boom.
	I hope that satisfied you, listener, that I hope it was worth the wait.
	We edged Eric for three weeks on this.
	We finally paid it off.
	Also, if we were going to use the Where We Go All thing, I would propose that we name our shop Where We Cone One We Cone All.
	Oh, that's good.
	That's good.
	Yes.
	Yes.
	And so if we actually didn't, well, that's the thing is that when we unveil our original selection of Q-Pilled Ben & Jerry's ice creams, we of course offer 17 flavors.
	So it's going to be like our first offering is 17 delicious flavors.
	So, yeah.
	Yeah, because it would be ridiculous to offer 1,488 flavors.
	That'd be way too much work.
	That'd be unreal.
	A little too on the nose for our audience.
	Hey, that's cool.
	Well, fuck, that's CPY my ass, you know.
	I'm coming for you.
	Well, that's the deal.
	We sell the six packs of the pints for $14.
	That's the discount.
	That's our premium discount price.
	Whoa, no, thank you.
	Who do you think our audience is?
	We're going to go with $17.76.
	We make a little more money.
	Yes, and we're not Nazis.
	Fine.
	Welcome to our ice cream shop.
	It's called Where We Code, Where We Code All.
	We got vanilla, French vanilla, vanilla bean.
	Pancake Peasant asks, what are the most over and underrated Thanksgiving dishes?
	Overrated turkey by a landslide.
	Sorry, I mean it was just the first one that came to mind.
	I know some people really hate turkey.
	I don't hate turkey.
	I just think that it's probably the worst possible protein you could be shooting for in that circumstance.
	It's a perfectly fine cranberry sauce delivery system, so for that, turkey is still fine by me.
	But I do think it's the most overrated part of the dish.
	Why is it the centerpiece?
	Get the hell out of here.
	And then, underrated, I'm still a sucker for just, like, fucking canned-ass cranberry sauce, personally.
	I know a lot of people are on that tip, but, like, I don't mind.
	I will have my slice of horrible from-the-can cranberry sauce, like, literally on top of my turkey, and then whatever bougie homemade cranberry sauce is available will get its, like, careful little, like, hillock of its own, like, Consideration so I can enjoy it separately.
	But man, sometimes you just want a thing that tastes the way it tasted when you were a kid and poor.
	And cranberry sauce is a great way to get at it.
	I grew up in the South, so I'm obligated to like it, which I do.
	Pretty much anything.
	Like, is the ingredient, take the thing you want to be casseroled, put cream of mushroom soup on it?
	Uh, then yes, I ate it a billion times growing up, and I kind of like all of them.
	I like gravy.
	I think the gravy is an underrated part of the dish because it's like, you got dry turkey?
	Throw some fucking gravy on that shit.
	You got a biscuit that's a little dry?
	Throw some fucking gravy and dip that shit.
	You eat the mashed potatoes?
	If they're bad?
	They're probably not.
	They're probably good without the gravy, but you know what makes mashed potatoes better?
	Gravy.
	You got some wet-ass stuffing?
	It's not wet enough.
	Fuck gravy on it.
	Fucking gravy.
	Gravy is only value add.
	Gravy does not detract value.
	Yeah.
	I don't know what's like overrated because I don't know what people like.
	Like, do a lot of people like stuffing?
	I think that's a bit overrated depending how you make it.
	Can I ask you why you don't know what people like on Thanksgiving?
	Well, I don't really... I don't ever do Thanksgiving, really, because I'm... You have a tell of it.
	I mean, you know what historically... Well, I don't know what people's favorite is.
	It's like, what do they like?
	Probably one of the six things that would be on any Hallmark card featuring a Thanksgiving spread.
	Okay, then the stuffing.
	I don't know what the big deal is.
	It's just bread.
	Okay, so there's a different... I think you have to make it right, and I don't think people do.
	Also, I'm gonna be the guy who pushes up his glasses, even though I don't wear glasses, here, and say that there is technically a difference between stuffing and dressing.
	So dressing is what that, like, stovetop stuffing is, if you just cook that shit on the stovetop.
	That's not stuffing.
	It is stuffed nothing.
	It's dressing.
	You take dressing, you stuff it inside of a turkey, and then cook it, and let turkey juice permeate it, then it becomes stuffing, which is delicious.
	Also, for the record, I like dressing as well.
	Gravy.
	That's my answer.
	Mike, go ahead.
	Oh, my Thanksgivings are the most boring thing in the world.
	It is literally stovetop, has dressing, as El just stated, and some turkey, and if I'm feeling particularly spicy, maybe some mashed potatoes, but that's a bridge too far.
	You know, I don't know how big of a fan of bread you are, but, and I know that this is sort of like Taskmaster lateral thinking, but if you were to make yourself a Thanksgiving sub, you take the dressing, you are technically stuffing a sandwich with it, it becomes stuffing, And it's next to some turkey in a sandwich form, which means it's even gonna get some of that juice up in there.
	There we go.
	Look at that.
	I'm gonna have to try that next year.
	Also, Thanksgiving subs are just incredible.
	I love them.
	Excellent.
	So, it appears that our mailbag second slice is a double dip, and Pancake Peasant asks, what is something that you think more people should know, and why?
	Uh, okay, this is a dumb one, but it's my go-to for a lot of dumb questions like this, but I just love the fact that USA PATRIOT in the USA PATRIOT Act is an acronym, because I'm a huge sucker for acronyms, and just the fact that they went through the work to make USA Patriot into one. It's just so unnecessary.
	Yes. I remember that too. I remember that US Patriot Act is just like United States,
	Baba Bides. Yeah. They just worked so hard because they love acronyms like that in our
	laws. It's just the thing legislators just, it's catnip for legislators. They can't help
	themselves.
	It's a very unimportant thing to know, but it just tickles me pink because I love acronyms.
	I was going to say, I...
	I wish people knew how to play blackjack correctly because it causes so much anger at the tables when people don't play blackjack correctly.
	And it is something that can be rectified by buying a $5 gift card.
	It's a thing you get at a gift shop at any casino for like $5 or less.
	And it's literally just a chart.
	And you can take it to the floor and literally sit it in front of you at the table and just read it and know how to play blackjack perfectly.
	And people just don't.
	The amount of people that I see just fucking up blackjack every day of my life is just, it's like, this is why casinos exist.
	So if that's the experience everybody wants, the people playing blackjack are expecting everybody to bring to the table when they sit down to play blackjack.
	Why haven't they just gotten rid of the element where people make a decision at all and you just like queue up to go to your blackjack pod and the dealer deals it out optimally, you don't fuck up shit, your aces and eights get split with your consent, but aside from that it just plays itself.
	I believe that the people who know how the game works and are dead inside and don't even enjoy it anymore and are either card counting or addicted degenerates would want that, but the casual player, the amount of people you see sweating over a 15 against a 10, acting like they're staring down Phil Ivey at the final table of the World Series of Poker, they're just like, oh God, what do I do?
	And it's like, you hit, you hit dummy, it's a hit, just take the card.
	And it's just like, I'm going to stay.
	And it's like, okay, great.
	Dealer has 20, you lose.
	Thank you.
	How could you have predicted that they had a 10 down?
	You just couldn't.
	It's impossible.
	And if they think you aren't card counting out immediately, how could you possibly know?
	You got to play with your gut, Mike, your gut!
	Yes.
	You got to know, you got to know in your mind's eyes, heart.
	Oh man.
	It's all of that.
	It's just so funny.
	Just, uh, there's, there was this one person, this guy had like $400 in front of him and he lost a $10 hand to blackjack.
	And you would have thought that the dealer just shot his dog right in front of him.
	The guy was so upset over that 10 bucks.
	He was like, can you believe this?
	And it's like, sure, you had an 18, the dealer pulled a 20.
	It happens a million times a day.
	Whatever.
	He was so lucky.
	Yes.
	All right, Hayley, drop some knowledge on us.
	What should the people know?
	I don't understand the question.
	I'm supposed to tell a fact that I know, or I'm supposed to just request that people know something more in this world.
	I wish more people knew how to get out of the way when you get off an escalator.
	I don't know. I don't want to lecture people.
	Well, just lecture them.
	Why can't we get them?
	Um, I wish more people knew how to get out of the way when you get off an escalator, you know, when you get off
	an escalator.
	And it's like some people just stand there for a minute and they're like,
	where do I go next?
	And it's like, sir or madam or a person.
	I'm coming up the escalator next and I'm going to bump into you if you don't move.
	And it's like you need to learn.
	You need to learn. You got to step a little bit out of the way.
	I think this happens like almost every time I'm on an escalator, which is rare,
	but it is definitely something and I'm like.
	It's a pet peeve of mine, is that is that a correct form of this answer?
	Is this what people were asking?
	I I was ordering a salad.
	Thank you.
	Wow.
	You didn't need to add that part.
	I feel like being slightly confused about the mailbag is sort of like part of Hayley's charm.
	But no, I feel you want that fucking answer, and as somebody who takes trains frequently, it's like the same thing.
	The train will pull up, the doors will open, there are clearly people coming off of the train, and the people that are waiting to get on the train, they could not be fucking bothered by that information.
	In the slightest, they're like, the train is here, the doors are open, I'm getting on the train.
	And it's just like...
	If you don't want to behave like you've used a fucking train before, then act like you've used a fucking door before.
	Like, what do you think is going to happen to the person standing in front of you?
	So funny to me.
	This is true also.
	They're going to become incorporeal and let you just walk into the train.
	Fuck you, buddy!
	I'm coming right in!
	You're coming with me!
	It's like, what do you think is going to happen?
	So dumb.
	And these are people, because I commute pretty frequently by train, I see these people frequently.
	It is not their first train ride.
	They just do not give a fuck about other human beings in a way that is inconceivable to me.
	They just do not care.
	So funny.
	Cal is just revolting for every other person's experience.
	Just walk a little bit farther past the door.
	Insane.
	Yeah.
	Eric asks, is this the mailbag or are you using one from last week?
	Both, Eric, it's both.
	Boom, nailed it.
	Great job, me.
	And finally, Cleodora Selvestri, the Hellworld Grand Inquisitor, asks, what was the most hyped movie, game, show, whatever that disappointed you the most once you had your hands on it?
	Recently would be Starfield.
	Incredibly easy answer.
	I got about 90 minutes into that game before realizing that it looked and played boring and stopped after wanting to play it for like three years.
	God.
	All time is tough.
	Oh, no, it's not tough.
	It would be, uh... I can't remember which of the Star Wars movies... I believe we saw it together all those years ago, Mike.
	Yeah.
	I went to go see one of the Star Wars movies with one of my friends, and we were, like, stumbling out of it, like, flabbergasted.
	And then we just sort of looked at each other and had a moment where it was just like, was that horrible?
	Like, did that suck?
	And then I think it may have been episode two.
	I think that, and I'm not sure if it was you, but it was definitely somebody that I knew back then.
	Like, we were coming out of the movie theater, we both looked at each other, we were just like, wait a minute, did that suck?
	That seems like it may have sucked.
	And in order to solve that question, we turned around and went and saw the movie.
	I think that was episode one, because I remember episode two.
	We had rose-colored glasses about it.
	We were kind of like, oh, the Yoda fight scene was pretty good.
	But I think episode one kind of paralyzed us.
	It may have been episode one.
	I remember it was one of the ones that you had to wait in line to get the ticket the first time around.
	And then as we were walking out of it, it was just like, oh shit, we can just go right back in if we want.
	Yeah, I think that was episode one.
	Because I remember episode two, we were like, oh, they turned it around, that Yoda fight scene was great.
	And then like a week later, we were like, no, actually, now that the adrenaline wore off of the Yoda fight scene, that was actually still pretty bad.
	Yeah, I was like, actually, that sucked too.
	So what a time.
	And then by the third movie, it was just like, oh, we know where we're getting this time, baby.
	This is a good sign.
	Yeah.
	Yeah, oh man.
	I similarly had a bad experience with episode one, but I was only in first grade and I remember thinking, like, this is a bad movie.
	Do I know what bad movies are yet?
	You know?
	That's excellent.
	I love the idea that episode one may have been your first cognizant realization that you're just like, oh, stuff can be bad!
	It literally was.
	Me and my friend went with her parents and we were both like, I don't think I like the movie.
	That's so weird.
	I think for me, that was Dick Tracy, the movie.
	Because I remember just being totally like... Because Batman had come out recently, I think.
	So that kind of genre was just something that I thought was like, I can't miss proposition.
	And then after Dick Tracy ended, I was just sort of like, meh, that was a thing, I guess.
	But I think for the scope of my life, I would say that probably Matrix Reloaded was the most painful thing because it was so obvious that they had lost the plot from the original Matrix.
	And the worst part about it is I had a friend who was just absolutely convinced that Reloaded had set up a perfect stick-the-landing moment for the third movie.
	I believe our co-host Haley has something to add.
	Yes.
	Henry Kissinger is just dead.
	Oh, well that's great.
	Thank God.
	Everybody, pop a bottle.
	Is that our three for the week?
	Is it?
	There was that actress who just passed.
	She was like 93.
	That was a couple of days ago.
	And then Henry Kissinger.
	And then Jimmy Carter's wife.
	Yeah, and world famous person, Jimmy Carter's wife.
	Rosalynn?
	I forgot her name, I'm sorry.
	I apologize.
	I also don't know it off the top of my head, but I was never putting out a bet for you to fucking call or force me to fault on.
	Ladies and gentlemen, we did it.
	He's dead.
	My Twitter feed has an account called, is Henry Kissinger dead yet?
	And they just posted, yes.
	He did it.
	Yes!
	This is internet history.
	There's going to be so many memes.
	Yeah, dude.
	There's going to be so many people posting Dr. Henry Killinger memes.
	I can't wait.
	I love Dr. Henry Killinger.
	Does it still hit though?
	Like it should?
	Venture Brothers will always hit the way it should.
	I love Venture Brothers.
	Anyway, we got distracted by, I guess, some glorious death.
	Did we answer, do we satisfactorily answer the question?
	Which one were we on?
	Well, I had said The Matrix Reloaded disappointed me.
	You went with A New Hope, so, or whatever Episode One was.
	Episode One.
	Phantom Menace.
	Phantom Menace, which I kind of agreed with, I feel like, as a Hobbit, but I also didn't like... I really like Lord of the Rings, the original trilogy.
	Yeah.
	Didn't like... I didn't like the Hobbit stretched out 15 hour trilogy.
	Yeah and also ugly and heartless.
	Yeah it sucked.
	It looked weird visually.
	I didn't like it.
	That's what happens when all of your directors like have to back out so you have to fucking shrug arm a guy who doesn't want to do it into doing it.
	And friggin Gandalf is like literally crying because all he's doing, all of his scene's been blues and green screen.
	And he's just like, this isn't why I became an actor.
	I wanted to interact with people on set.
	I just didn't want to put on a costume and say lines to a camera and you're going to CGI everything around me.
	Shut up, Magneto.
	Say the line.
	Exactly.
	Fool of a toque or whatever.
	Yes.
	We'll fix it in post with AI.
	Yeah, exactly.
	It was that energy.
	That's the whole energy of the... Do you remember when all those fucking dumbass dwarves are in those barrels in the river and the scene is forever and it looks terrible?
	Anyway, that's a great answer.
	All right, Mike, what do we got next for the mailbag?
	We have our question as always, which is what are you guys looking forward to?
	Besides Harry Kissinger's death.
	More listener questions, I guess.
	Man, two full weeks?
	Yep, that was it.
	Consider this your actual call to action.
	Provide us with more scintillating questions about ice cream and stuff.
	Yes.
	Aside from playfully berating our listeners, because I love them, what am I looking forward to?
	Friendsmas, I guess.
	I've got a Friendsmas celebration coming up in a couple of weeks.
	I've got an assortment of gifts for that.
	They may or may not get wrapped, because I'm terrible at that, so it depends on how much I can offload on another person.
	Or get somebody to teach me how to do it better.
	One of the two.
	Uh, but yeah, I'm also just sort of, like, generally interested in holiday cheer and such.
	I'm, like, kind of, like, me and, me and the holiday season are pretty cool.
	Especially for somebody who doesn't, like, have family or anything to spend it with.
	It's just, like, me chilling with my friends and just having a good go of it.
	Love it.
	I'm not about the holiday cheer, but I'm gonna have also a friends-mas or some shit.
	I don't know what they're calling it.
	Friendsmas.
	I mean, I don't know what my friends are calling it, but we'll call it that.
	I'll propose Friendsmas.
	I'll tell them that.
	It's become sort of the standard, you know?
	I don't know what we're doing.
	I know that we're making food.
	That's fun, right?
	I'll probably bring cheese.
	Oh, dude, you guys could do a flavor tripping party.
	Whoa!
	I've done like four of those.
	It's fun every time.
	A what?
	Flavor tripping party.
	Is this where you do shrooms and then you eat?
	Haha!
	No, circling back to a thing more people need to know about.
	There's a berry.
	It's called Miracle Fruit.
	And in this berry, there's an enzyme called Miraculin.
	And Miraculin can be found on tablets on Amazon.com.
	Miraculin is an enzyme, and when it coats your tongue, it changes the way that your taste buds perceive taste for like 30-ish minutes, until the enzyme wears off.
	So it's not a drug, it's not dangerous, it sort of like coats your tongue, and then it harmlessly does its thing for like 30 minutes, and then it goes away.
	Perfect.
	During that time, it takes, uh, bitter flavors and makes them sweet.
	So, you can, like, just eat lemons and grapefruits and such, just, like, with abandon.
	They're still acidic, so you want to watch your tongue.
	But you can just, like, bite into them whole, and they taste exquisite.
	Like, grapefruit on Miraculin, or with Miraculin on your tongue, is great.
	Highly recommend.
	If you're looking for a fun themed party for you and your friends to do stuff with, look up flavor tripping.
	It's like, there's no drug involved.
	It's very, it's very, it's actually very incredibly legal and wholesome.
	You should do it while tripping, though.
	That'd be fun.
	I like to keep those two worlds separate.
	You know, whatever.
	Don't lecture me!
	I love tripping, dammit!
	What are you looking forward to, Mike?
	Uh, just, uh, continuing, uh, my run of good luck in the National Football Lottery.
	I have had, um, just dumb things happen where I have made small wagers and won large amounts of money.
	So not actual real large amounts of money, like, like a couple hundred bucks, but hey, when you're only putting up $20 and then you receive 200 United States dollars, it's like, yay.
	So, um.
	Here's to hoping I can throw more darts at a dartboard and have that happen, which is incredibly unlikely because hitting 10 to 1 shots like that is really fluky and random.
	But hey, when you're surfing it and it's happening, that's what makes gambling fun.
	And then when you crash and burn and have to go to Gambler's Anonymous, it's not fun.
	When I was in Vegas, when you're in a casino, we have these pamphlets for gambling addiction and gambling hotlines and stuff.
	And the ones in Vegas, always the title on them was When the Fun Stops.
	So whenever me or my friends were getting their asses kicked at whatever game they were gambling in, we would always say to each other, hey man, you gotta know when the fun stops.
	You gotta know.
	And sometimes we would go the extra mile and actually grab the pamphlet from somewhere else in the casino and bring it over to them and edit it.
	Right now, the fun has not stopped.
	But next week, maybe it will.
	But until then, I'm just going to keep swinging and hoping to hit.
	Alright, you got anything for us, Haley?
	Or do you just want me to see the ship out?
	Didn't I say also I was doing soup or something?
	Didn't I kind of answer?
	I said I was doing a Friendsgiving.
	You said you were also doing a Friendsmas, but I don't think you mentioned the soup thing, and soup definitely counts.
	Love us soup.
	If the Friendsmas, there'll probably be soup.
	I will be cooking, there'll be soup, there'll be cheese, probably.
	I don't know.
	Who knows?
	Henry Kissinger is dead.
	And Henry Kissinger is dead, which Hayley seems, like, not, ironically, pretty excited about, guys.
	So, anyway.
	So, on that note, it's time to jump in our sweet, souped-up hearse and, you know, sort of like, Munster-style putter our way out of Hellworld for the week.
	Thank you so much for listening.
	And supporting the show.
	You can continue to support the show for free, but even harder by giving us a 5-star review wherever you get your podcasts from.
	If you have money and you want to give it to us, Lord knows we'll take it.
	And you can visit us at patreon.com slash pokerpolitics to donate money to the cause.
	Anybody who donates $5 or more per month gets access to our slate of bonus content, of which there is a wide variety.
	But you can donate as little as $2 a month just to tip your dealers.
	And we love everybody equally, except for the people who support us financially, who we love slightly more.
	Welcome back to the crib, returning beautifuller baby, Sunshine.
	And I also, I believe also returning beautifuller baby, Molly, who decided to... That was me, I added.
	I added because they said hi to me, and they're listening, and I want to say hi back.
	That's your friend.
	Excellent.
	Yeah, absolutely.
	Molly lavishing some praise on Hayley and what Hayley rules.
	Molly also rules.
	Shout out to Molly and also another shout out to Sunshine.
	Welcome back to the crib, our beautifuller babies.
	If you have money and you don't want to give it to three dicks talking about shit on the internet, we totally get that.
	You can do some good with it in a variety of ways, but the one way we suggest every week is love146.org, an organization whose vision is the end of child trafficking and exploitation.
	End quotes.
	Thanks as always for the use of our now spookier, ooh, pitch-down version of the intro song.
	I'm diggin' it.
	DJ Minimal Effort remixed by, of all people, Mike Rains.
	DJ Accidental Effort.
	Still no social media for them.
	Evolved, monk-like, etc.
	Thanks as always also to our buddy Frosty for all of our voiceover work whenever we need it.
	I made that funny joke earlier about pitching them down to sound like fuckin' Buffalo Bill.
	And you know what, maybe I would fuck Frosty.
	I believe you can still find Frosty on Twitter, at FrostyVO.
	But, you know, I'll just keep saying that until they tell me to stop.
	Because they're just like, you know what, I'm off of Twitter because it sucks.
	And I'll be like, Frosty, zen, monk-like, etc.
	You can find the show that you're listening to on Twitter, a platform that we all love, at Hellworld with a Q instead of an O. You can find Mike Rains on Twitter, of course, at PokerPolitics, on a variety of other platforms, but that's where the base is the largest.
	Myself and Haley have both jumped ship to Blue Sky, where nothing happens, at Mysterious L for me, and at Arizona Right Watch for Haley.
	Anybody have anything to add social-wise?
	Anything you want to shout out during this portion?
	Did I forget anyone?
	Um, just add me on Instagram.
	Add me on Blue Sky.
	Say hey.
	Don't bother saying hey.
	You're on Insta?
	Do I have to look up my gram?
	Yeah, I like Instagram because, you know, you can post pictures and music.
	It's tough.
	I mean, that is true.
	Yeah, that is true.
	I've been hesitant to jump into Instagram because it's owned by Facebook, etc., but maybe I should just stop being such a fucking boomer and go follow Kylie Jenner like everybody else anyway.
	I'm off topic.
	We're in the outro.

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