Adventures in HellwQrld Episode #155: Jacksonville shooting, Trump mug shot
This week Mike, Haley, and L talk about the recent mass shooting in Jacksonville and how QAnon is spinning it as a plot to hurt Trump's popularity after his mugshot made him America's Greatest Hero. Plus we talk about Vivek being horrible and the newest grift from a QAnon grifter. Get bonus content on PatreonSupport this show http://supporter.acast.com/hellwqrld. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
The Adventures in Hellworld podcast talks in depth about QAnon, which means we have to talk about all kinds of child abuse and violence against people.
Listener discretion advised.
Hello, everybody.
I am Mike Rains, a.k.a.
Poker and Politics, and welcome to another episode of Adventures in Hellworld.
This week, I am joined, as always, by Haley, a.k.a.
Arizona Right Wing Watch.
Hello, everybody.
What an aptly named podcast for this week, isn't it?
Hellworld.
It always is.
Get it?
It always is.
Yeah.
Zing.
Zing, got him.
We're having a good week.
Yes.
And his enemies call him the Beast of the Bedroom, but we call him the Mysterious L.
Hello, my beautiful babies!
Wow.
I was expecting Mike Rains to start talking about my bedroom proficiencies all of a sudden.
No, because you just gave me the razzle-dazzle about my nickname for that asshole last week.
So I figured your enemies also give you a nickname that makes you incredible in their eyes.
It's true.
I mean, Beast of the Bedroom is a great one because it, like, I feel like up top, it has the implication that you want, but if you dig into it, it's just like, wait a minute, what does that actually mean?
It's like Sex Rod God or whatever.
Sex God Rod.
Yes.
Because let's be real, sloth is a beast.
You know?
Yes.
Like if D&D had to tag the animal sloth, it would be beast.
Yep.
And in that regard, oh yeah baby, I'm the beast of the bedroom.
You better believe it.
That just reminded me of the German cards of Magic the Gathering that would be Kreator Beastie, and that was just a running bit for us for a long time.
Oh yeah, dude, what was it?
Was it Plastiderm, the original Kreator Beastie?
Yes, yeah.
Gotta love it.
Yeah.
Oh, man.
I was dealing with cable companies for the past hour.
And the thing that was really funny with that was that both DirecTV and Comcast, when you go to their package plans for stuff you can order from them, they both prominently feature Playboy television on their lists.
And I'm just like, nice.
Who is this for?
60-year-olds.
Apparently!
You do know the internet exists, right?
This is free now.
You get it, right?
The people that are willing to pay to see Booba will pay to see Booba a lot, apparently.
They'll go into debt for Booba.
Look at the old cottage industry of OnlyFans.
I feel like OnlyFans is being supported by a small number of whales that support a lot of different OnlyFans models.
That's probably true.
We support sex workers.
You pay.
You pay for sex work.
I mean, you do whatever.
I'm just saying it's a good habit.
Tip your server, you know?
I was actually just talking with some co-workers yesterday about it.
It's just like, isn't it so fucking crazy that prostitution is illegal and therefore mad dangerous?
Like, what are we doing?
Especially because you see states like Massachusetts raking in like 20% or more off the top of marijuana sales and tax revenue.
It's like, dude, make it legal.
Make it safe.
And then tax it, baby!
Tax it!
People will go pay!
Tax the shit out of it!
I have actually seen people posting on the internet about how sex works needs to be decriminalized and not legalized because if you do like legalize sex work, then like big sex will come in and like credit card removed and shit.
I don't know, I kind of want that.
Well, I mean, I don't want prostitution in general, it's just not my bag.
You're just gonna have big business being involved in prostitution and like nobody wants that and it's just
I was like, yeah, I kind of want that. Well, I mean, I don't want prostitution in general
It's just not my bag. But if it were to be my bag, like I don't know
If you give me the legit option at this point in my life, I'm a sheep.
I'll probably go the legit path.
Like, I don't have a weed guy anymore, you know?
I have a weed store that I legally go to.
Oh, bummer.
That's a bummer.
I have a weed guy if I... Like, I still know my weed guy.
I mean, let's be fucking crazy.
Weed guys should come back.
I'm tired of this corporate weed.
I'm saying it now.
I think the best weed is homegrown.
It's legal here, so I'm allowed to say that.
Yeah, it's great.
We love our local weed dealers.
The shit at the dispensary, it's always getting, at least here in Arizona, Like, oh, recall, because it's got some fucking salmonella ass fucking shit that shouldn't be in it.
Like, why the fuck?
What the fuck are we doing?
Bye from your homie.
And also your supporting homies.
It's like supporting the arts.
But for.
Yeah, I don't know how to I don't know how to break this to you, Haley, but I don't think the Arizona experience is like indicative of the regular person experience.
I'm sorry.
Like you, Texas or Florida are probably simpatico on a lot of stuff.
But as far as the rest of the world.
Like, yeah.
Alright, I should go hit up your weed.
No, I'm not talking about the quality of your weed.
I'm talking about the quality of your weed.
You know what I mean?
The fact that it will have Salmonella accidentally mixed in.
Oh, I don't know if it was Salmonella, but it does have, like, we do always get, like, recall.
Some bullshit in it.
Some weird additive, some recall or whatever.
I ain't never heard of it.
Yeah, this'll kill ya.
It'll kill ya and I get ya high.
Maybe that's just because the wrong people are in charge of your government and standards are lax.
Oh, you know?
That's the problem.
That's what I meant.
I don't know.
I'm like, you know, I've been smoking California weed for a long time.
Don't get me wrong.
I know how good West Coast weed is.
You don't get a selfie on it.
Also the people that like run the dispensaries are like the worst people of all time, usually.
It's just like the most, it's just like some Scottsdale asshole who's like, I was able to afford this at the right time.
And yeah, it kind of sucks.
Unionize, there's a lot of unionization efforts, uh, here, uh, at the dispensaries.
So, you know, that's a good thing.
Do people like women in their early sixties selling weed and turquoise out of the same shop?
Is that a thing?
Uh, not, it's usually like, like pretty hot tattoo guys and like pretty hot tattooed ladies at the dispensaries here.
So, uh, the local one I go to has some attractive employees, uh, of various genders, but more distressingly for me personally, it's also staffed by several people that I knew.
A decade ago when they were like 13 and they were shopping at the electronics store I worked at.
So I'll go there to pick up my accoutrement and they'll be like, or the first time they were just like, oh shit, it's Leo.
Do you remember me?
And I'm just like, yeah, actually I do.
You shopped at my store, right?
You're just like, yeah, dude.
That's crazy.
That store was like my childhood, man.
It went downhill after you left.
And I was just like, oh God, I don't want to be remembered for working retail, please.
Please at least remember me as the guy that buys weed off of you.
I'd rather be a degenerate than a retail slave, please.
Yeah, well, I mean, also, like, in what world is smoking weed degeneracy?
I mean, I don't know.
That looks like to Charlie Kirk.
Yeah, I don't know.
All the people I know who smoke weed are, like, pretty relaxed and non-threatening.
Kind of a trend, you know?
Time to do pot, then go shoot people.
Time to do pot!
I'm gonna do pot.
I'm gonna inject speed.
Probably no one.
Yeah.
I like that.
Getting molested at cigarettes?
I just like the idea of, like, pot is so laid back.
I love the idea of scheduled pot.
You're like, oh shit, it's six o'clock, gotta do my pot now.
That's 420.
Oh man, yeah, I was about to say, I'm gonna tell Mike Rades about 420, you know.
Mike is straight edge.
But I mean, like, 420's a bit.
I mean, I understand what you're doing.
No, you do smoke, you smoke.
I mean, 420 is mostly a bit.
It's a bit, but I do smoke.
Sometimes.
When I notice it's 420, I'm like, hey, 420.
Specifically on April 20th, sometimes it elevates from beyond a bit.
To excuse.
I got in trouble in middle school.
I got in trouble in middle school because, like, I had, like, a doctor's appointment on a 420, and the school thought I ditched because I was, like, I was smoking the devil's lettuce.
And so they called me into the office because they thought that's why I ditched.
I was like, I had a doctor's appointment.
Yeah, well, going through high school, I'm sure the audience is scintillated by this talk of weed smoking or whatever, but it's our 10 minutes of fun, structured conversation time.
We'll use it however the fuck we want!
This is where we get to know each other.
We've never known each other before.
I'm sure that a lot of my teachers just knew that I was coming into class high occasionally, but thankfully I lucked out in a couple of years.
I had a math class in the morning with the teacher who didn't have a license and rode his bike to school because he had got DUIs and stuff and we would catch high and drunk outside of school.
And then by the time I got to my senior year, we had isolated the cool teachers.
I just kind of started smoking weed with them.
Yeah.
My high school experience is apparently different than a lot of folks.
We had a stoner wall.
See, once we got to high school, there was a designated stoner wall.
It was literally right across from the school, so you could still hear the bell.
And we had teachers that were like, OK, kids, time to come to class.
Like, stop smoking your weed.
You know, it was great.
You know, and then you come to fucking class and your eyes are fucking red as hell.
Yeah, I've got a lot of... I don't want to dox myself too hard, but if you ever want to hear any of my crazy high school little brief anecdotes, we'll do that during our unstructured, unstructured time previous to the recording, or post-recording.
That'll be the deep cut bonus content that the listeners don't get.
Yeah, well, I hope you liked it when it was light and fluffy, because it's going to get progressively worse from here on out.
To you, the hypothetical listener who is complaining that I keep addressing.
Yeah.
Okay, unstructured time over.
Let's get to the boosh.
It's time for a light sampling of insanity.
Get ready for the amuse-bouche.
So Mike Rains usually tosses me the booshes and the headlines, and I usually, like, give them a little punch up and then post them back in our group for our amusement.
And that leads to situations where I'm just sort of wrong about what we're about to talk to, which is always fun, and then I usually yell at Mike Rains for it.
Or in cases like this, I won't even take a stab at it, because all I can do is my best guess.
Mike said that Vivek was being a piece of shit or sucking and I don't super know what or who that is.
Is that the rapping guy?
Is that Vivek?
Is he the guy that was like, please stop rapping my raps?
Okay, gotcha.
Nice.
I did it!
I remembered a thing!
He kind of blew up after the debates because he was like trying to be a little little griper type shit poster while up there and kind of doing like weird things.
Did you see him do the fingers?
I didn't see the finger thing.
Yeah, there was like a part where you'd see him like going like this to the candidate next to him, like for the listeners just doing like magic fingers at him.
I think it sucks that Chris Christie took our DeSantis playbook of like actually being the one to say that Trump sucks and that he's a failure and a loser because it's like, you know, Chris Christie, but you have to understand the playbook only works if you like have a shot.
Like, I mean, like it's cool that you're on team Trump sucks, but like, It's like, that play's only gonna work if you have juice.
You, sir, have no juice.
He's been on MSNBC all week and it's like, you know you're doing great in the Republican...
Sorry, I'm hearing you on MSNBC all week.
Yeah, MSNBC is like the fucking rainbow bridge between the Real News Network and OAN and shit.
That's the level of respect MSNBC has.
MSNBC's tagline is, yeah, we're still on.
You're like, oh shit, I'm really crazy.
Yeah.
I've seen, I've seen a lot of ads because we have that bleed over from New Hampshire to like basically North Massachusetts.
So that media market bleeds over a lot.
So I'm seeing a lot of ads for Christie for president.
Like my favorite thing is they have this like, this quote that appears on the screen that says, Christie could easily beat Joe Biden.
And it's like, boy, man.
I need one of those stickers.
I need some of that merch.
Yeah, I mean, it's just like, yeah, who's the target demographic for those ads?
Christian should lean into his Italian-ness and be like kind of a Tony Soprano about it, you know?
I think it would be better.
I think it would work.
Those ads are for his demographic and other dimensions where he has even a sliver of a fucking hope of ever getting to smell the presidency of the United States of America.
He'll never even be in the Oval Office.
It's never gonna happen.
Not even on a tour.
You may not know.
So, anyhow, our boy Vivek has so much juice that we're not even talking about him.
So, Vivek Rao Swamy, who is basically a younger, shittier version of Trump in the sense that he's a rich asshole.
He's like Blake Masters.
You remember Blake?
Oh, you know, God, Blake, the sociopath from your beloved state of Arizona.
I feel like I had, there's probably one pretty big difference between Blake, the Aryan master.
Yeah, but they're kind of like in the same nationalist thing, you know, like tech bro nationalist, shit posting, online piece of shit.
It's a really similar aesthetic they're going for, minus the skin color.
But Vivek's like hella leaning into the white supremacy shit because he has to continue.
I'm sorry.
Yeah.
So Vivek is now is the new hotness.
He had a bump in the polls from like two to like five or whatever after the debate.
So people are actually digging into this guy to see what an absolute scumbag he is.
And if you don't know what an absolute scumbag he is, boy howdy, is he incredible.
So the way this guy made his massive big bucks was basically he bought a failed Alzheimer's drug from GlaxoSmithKline.
Then after he bought this drug, he had his mom, who was a doctor, rework one of the studies
that was done on it that showed that it was dog shit, and then repurpose the study to
make it look like this might work.
This might actually slow the progression of Alzheimer's in people.
And then with this new fake study that his mom, who was on his board and other rich backers
created, he ran on television and talked mad shit about how great this drug was and how
everyone needs to jump in on this drug and buy into his company.
Didn't Elizabeth Holmes go to jail for something similar?
Pretty much, yes.
Yeah, so he did all this shit, made a mountain of money in investors buying into it, and then the next level of clinical trial came out.
Drug was a total failure, did absolutely nothing, and the stock of the company lost 99% of its value in a single day.
Also just taking advantage of like the most vulnerable fucking people, how evil.
Yeah, this was literally a pump-and-dump scheme based around false hope that he had a cure for Alzheimer's, or at least a treatment that was effective against it.
So, literally everything about this guy is absolute scumbaggery.
And on top of that, the man also has no idea how the American government works.
When pressed on the issue of what Mike Pence did on January 6th and if it was right or not, Vivek apparently declared that Mike Pence should have initiated same-day voting with a photo ID and outlawing mail-in ballots, which I didn't know the Vice President had fiat control over.
Mike Pence voting law initiate.
Yes.
You are now under voting law.
You are now voting under Pence law.
Yes.
Yeah, and he has previously also stated that probably the voting age needs to be raised from 18 to somewhere around 25, because young people are stupid and vote wrongly and badly.
So, everything about this guy is absolute scum, and- Cut to that meme of, like, fuckin' Doogie Howser touching that alien's forehead, looking back over his shoulder and being like, they feel fear!
It's like, yeah, you better believe you want to raise them fucking voted age as their chief, because your whole political party is aging out.
You're eroding, like, every coastline because of the climate change that you deny, you fucks.
Someone said that you're supposed to conform your issues and your stances to the electorate, and what Republicans are actually doing is trying to conform the electorate to fit their standards.
their issues. So it's just like, oh, the wrong people are voting. Well, they just don't get to
eliminate that. Right? Yeah. Yeah. I can't I can't wait until I see the day when my views are
considered to be the views of like a right wing crank because the
Because the goalposts have just moved so much.
Hopefully we get there one day.
I feel like we're putting the wrong one for right now.
I have faith in us.
Because I feel like if we ever trigger too far in the other direction, the nukes will just start flying and that'll be a wash on that.
I feel like, you know, no matter who wins, we win.
I feel like the conservative hellscape conservatives want for us is just unsustainable, you know?
I mean, it's like smash gut to like Judge Dredd-style future.
It's like, who's doing that?
Who's signing up for that?
I don't think so.
I don't know about all that, Chief.
I've always loved things like that, where the dystopian future world, how the bad guys get in power and hold it, is never really explained.
Like in Headmaid's Tale, it's like, and then the bad guys took America over and started Gilead, and it's like, how'd they do that?
It's like, shut up, shut up, we just need a premise!
And it's like, okay, it's like the same thing with the Hunger Games.
It's like, a war happened, and now the bad people kill kids for fun.
How?
Why?
It's like, shut up, just work with the premise.
How did the Hunger Games end?
Oh, there was a revolution that overthrew the bad people.
Why did the revolution wait 200 years?
The revolution would have been instantaneous if those people were that shit.
So it's just like... Maybe it just took 200 years to finish.
I do have faith.
Humanity has proven time and time again that it is capable of generating the sort of people to just remind the masses of whores that they can at any moment just like actually just be like hey you know that we could just like kill all the people that we don't like because there's like a jillion of us right?
Also just like I think there is some mass movement happening.
Yeah, the labor movement is having some pretty good gains right now.
I would like to believe that more people will wake up to what's happening to the LGBTQ stuff right now and start showing up to a few more things and bashing Nazi skulls figuratively because it's getting a little wild at some places.
Are we allowed to say those things?
We're a comedy podcast!
We're comedy!
It's funny!
You can say, hey, if dickheads like Ricky Gervais can make edgy humor, Fuckin' punching down at the trans community.
You bitches ever hear of free speech?
You know, I hear that all the time.
We're talking about how Nazis suck and should be bashed metaphorically.
You don't have to like be violent, but just like show up and tell them, get the fuck out of here!
Get the fuck out of here!
I may have ranted a lot, but I would like to remind my co-hosts, even more than the listeners, that I was talking about humanity producing somebody to unite the poors to kill the riches.
The hypothetical scenario where they make it Judge Dredd future.
Yeah, exactly.
Currently, I would certainly never recommend such a thing.
That would be terrible.
Please listen to the sincerity of my voice as I make a direct appeal to you.
Call to action.
Do not overthrow your masters.
Your masters are pretty sweet, actually.
I just, every time Hayley talks about like stepping up for the LGBTQ plus community, I just feel, I just feel like she's judging me.
I just feel like I'm not.
I'm not.
I'm not judging anybody here.
No, but I'm just saying, I'm just like, I'm sorry.
I missed the meeting.
I had a cold.
I apologize.
No, I don't mean you at all.
I just mean in general, the, the community's in risk right now.
That, that is a good feeling to have.
Cause you know, you're, Your white cishet powers have to come with at least some incredibly minor white cishet drawback, which is just like essentially a minor pang of white guilt if you're willing to be a reasonable person.
You can ignore it by just being a not reasonable person, but if you're just like, you know, I'd like to actually be like a cool regular person, it's just like, okay, well then you just need to feel guilty about pretty much every facet of your life.
Okay, fair.
I wouldn't say I earned it, but I did earn it by birth, so let's rock.
You know, I don't even think people have to feel guilty about things.
Just try to do your best.
Just try to do your best, everybody.
I think guilt is healthy.
If you're into that, if you've got a little bit of a...
I think a little bit of pettiness is good for the blood.
I think a little pettiness helps keep you sharp.
I think that's what you miss from a lot of the let's live on a commune off the grid people.
They lose the little pieces of them that make you sharp.
You know what I mean?
And that's fine.
That's what they want.
They want to sand off their edges and be one with everybody.
But I want to keep those pointy edges.
I want to have a little bit of pettiness and a little bit of guilt.
Yeah.
Oh, dude, I'm true punks.
Anyway, it's so hard to want to talk about this Vivek guy.
Okay.
It really is.
It's just like, he sucks.
He didn't say a lot of racist shit during the Jacksonville shooting, but we haven't gotten to that.
Yeah.
We'll be talking about that later.
So aside from being shitty, why are we talking about this clown?
Is he Q affiliated?
Like, who's this Joker?
Why are we talking about him?
Well, the fun thing is, is that beyond the fact that he's like the new hotness in the Republican Party, he's actually now being kind of attacked by the QAnon community because they saw his poll numbers again.
He's perilously getting close to double digits in some things, so that means that he might be an enemy to the God Emperor.
And so people have now brought up the fact that he took a Soros scholarship to get into college.
He's been affiliated with the World Economic Forum.
So now his right-wing bona fides are being questioned by the nutball community.
And he's being seen as kind of like a Trojan horse who's trying to slip in the controlled opposition to the Republican Party to try to pry off support away from the God Emperor, the true savior of America, Donald J. Trump.
So it's just really funny that that's like where they've gone, where for a little while Vivek was cool and hip and, oh, he's doing Eminem.
This is great.
Now they're just sort of like, wait a minute.
You might be getting a little too cool if you know what I'm saying.
Okay.
But everybody in this base is a racist nutjob.
So doesn't Donald Trump just have to do like a single Apu accent and just like kill this guy?
Just like reach out and like break his political neck?
I think Trump will hire him.
I think he's kind of going for a cabinet seat.
Yeah, this is an audition for Vivek.
He's auditioning for the God Emperor.
He wants, like... Do we know Trump sees it that way?
Because a lot of the times Trump just acts like a stupid animal.
And I feel like a stupid animal would see all these bitches as pretenders to the throne, you know?
That would be their mindset.
It would just be like, how dare these weak cucks come after me?
I'm Donald fucking Trump!
My hands are massive!
My sexual prowess is beyond reproach.
I'm 6'3 and 215 pounds.
All of these things are true.
You know, Trump, he called Ted Cruz's wife like a fucking dog ugly bitch.
Ted Cruz is like, yes, my king.
So he can shit on Vivek all he wants and Vivek will still take a seat, I would imagine.
Oh yeah, that I totally believe.
That's actually a good way of looking at it.
Shit on me, my king.
Thank you.
My favorite Donald Trump coming after somebody was coming after John McCain for being a prisoner of war.
I was just like...
How is it possible for any Republican to be on board with that?
You know who fucking sucks?
War heroes.
What a bunch of fucking losers.
What a bunch of people who sacrificed large portions of their life for a fucking government and a hole in a different country, you know?
Wild, we lost Arizona.
Yeah, y'all motherfuckers are wild in Arizona.
That's what I'm saying.
You, Florida, and Texas are like, you guys are forming your own different United States, even if it's not happening on paper, you know?
You guys might as well be a different country.
Well, I mean, Arizona is like trying to drag themselves to reality, mostly because of the fact that Arizona is trapped in a pincer between California, Colorado, and New Mexico.
And we're mainly a big city.
It's Phoenix, and then you got all these little rural places, and then like Tucson, which is another city.
I will say that the future is positive for Arizona and any state that borders California, if only because as California continues to get just absolutely destroyed by Mother Nature, those liberals are going to have to flee somewhere, and you know.
We had hurricane weather last week.
Hurricane weather.
Well, I'm sure we've got listeners in Florida who are going to be like, hey, talk to me about hurricane weather.
I know.
I feel bad bringing it up, but it was just like, what?
What is this?
It like cooled down for a bit, which it was kind of nice for like a couple of days not to discourage the hurricane, or you know, to make light of the hurricane.
Dust off a joke from like eight years ago.
It's too tsunami for that joke.
Remember that joke?
Remember that from when Fukushima happened?
People were like, hey.
Excuse me.
Anyway, okay.
The boosh gets longer every week because, wow, we can't stay on topic even a little.
Boosh number two.
Mike says it to me.
Oh, this rocks.
Again, don't know what it means.
Magic colon, the griftoning.
I'll play on magic colon, the gathering.
A frequent thing we confuse Marjorie Taylor Greene for.
Anti-Semitism, the gathering.
Yeah, so, uh, Illumina- That's just the regular version, isn't it?
Oh, is it really?
I've never played- No, they banned all the offensive cards.
Tried to distance themselves from them and issued an apology.
Yeah.
So there's a guy who runs an account called Illuminati Bot, and Illuminati Bot is like one of the biggest accounts on Twitter.
It has like a trillion followers.
It is deeply shameful that it exists.
It got Wendy Rogers.
It got Wendy Rogers in trouble here.
Sorry, real quick.
Because he posted that- Mike sent me an out of context photo earlier, and it's just like, now I know what we're talking about.
Okay, now you go.
Sorry.
But Wendy Rogers got like kind of in trouble here in Arizona, a state senator, because she shared a video from that account that was like just a video of Hunter Biden's cock.
And it was just, like, zooming in on it.
And we have, like, revenge porn law here, and it was like, uh, that might violate it.
So she got in trouble, like, actually a little bit and had to remove it.
Find somebody who looks at you the way that everybody at the Republican Party looks at Hunter Biden's penis, you know?
They're all very—even when it's not around, they're asking about it.
It is the poochie of American politics.
I've seen it so much.
I've seen this text so much.
I've seen it zero times.
It's the best part about not engaging with any of this nonsense, really.
Good for you.
Okay, sorry.
Mike.
Okay, so IlluminatiBot, who has 1.2 million followers on Twitter and is just a grifter that peddles all the shit in the world, every dumb conspiracy theory, every bullshit fucking lie, that's literally just this person's timeline.
They had a post of, these are great movies to watch, and every movie on that list was absolute dog shit.
2,000 Mules was on it, Rich Man's Trick from JFK to 9-11 was on it.
It's just absolutely smashing.
It's incredible.
So, this guy posted screenshots of cards that are going into his quote-unquote Illuminati card game that he is going to try to use to pill people.
And this card game is literally... The cards look like Yu-Gi-Oh cards.
They have the exact border and frame of Yu-Gi-Oh cards.
There are different colors like Magic the Gathering.
There's a blue card that has a Democrat logo on it.
There's a red card of a Republican logo on it, which I think those logos are copyrighted.
I don't think you can put them into a game like this.
It is going to be...
And the thing is, I'm a card game nerd.
I know from card games.
So, the lack of detail and information on these cards very much indicates to me that this game has no meat on the bone.
This game is probably very dumb and childish.
Yeah, the first indication should have been that they're modeled after Yu-Gi-Oh cards.
Yu-Gi-Oh is barely a fucking game.
Sorry listener, if you play Yu-Gi-Oh!, I'm not here to tell you to stop doing what you're doing, I'm just saying that my personal opinion and take on the matter as one of the co-hosts of this comedy podcast is that Yu-Gi-Oh!
is a piece of shit game for piece of shit people.
No, I never got into Yu-Gi-Oh.
I remember famously, I think at one point when I was a wee lad, somebody was explaining the rules of Yu-Gi-Oh to me, and it was back when Ixodea was still a thing.
And I was like, so let me get this straight.
You play a thing, and if I play a thing that's higher, I win.
And they're like, yes.
And I was like, and if I get these five specific cards in my hand, I just have to show you that I have them and that I win the game on the spot.
And they were like, yes.
And this was 2002 or whatever.
So I was like, you just described poker, mate.
Why would I not just play poker?
It's like the hottest game on the planet right now.
You just described playing poker, but with anime art that looks like it was drawn by a 12-year-old and for no money.
Sick.
Gas.
I'd love to get in.
Yeah, I never, like, literally all I know about Yu-Gi-Oh is, quote, you activated my trap card and the fact that the game looked like it had less depth to it than Pokemon did.
And Pokemon was, like, a fine game for, like, kids.
I mean...
Oh yeah, I mean, don't get me wrong, I'm not just shitting on Yu-Gi-Oh because I hate TCGs.
I've been playing Magic for 25 years.
I was like a national competitive level Pokemon card game player right when it released.
Like, I used to play Tess for Magi Nation when I was like 14.
Like, I also know from card games.
I'm not pooh-poohing anybody's card game habits.
I've played Goodwoods and Shittywoods, top to bottom, soup to nuts, you know?
I'm excited I'm playing Lorcana right now.
Disney represent, but not Disney adults.
Please do not affiliate me with Disney Adults.
Man, you're just coming out with hotcakes today.
I love that for them!
So yeah, the game looks like Yu-Gi-Oh trash, and the thing that makes me laugh about the game more than anything is that Illuminati Bot explained that the cards we were looking at were the holographic rares of the game.
And he literally made, like, a George Soros card that is a holographic rare.
I just love the idea of this guy who, like, aggressively hates George Soros and David Rockefeller made them chase cards in his set.
Yeah, and I'm not gonna lie, Mike sent me a picture of this.
I didn't know this is, like, I should have assumed this is why he sent me a picture of this.
But I didn't know that's what we were talking about here because they don't look like Magic the Gathering cards.
I'm not gonna lie, that was what threw me off, so it got me.
One of those cards, actually, the artwork looked sick.
Who was it?
Was it Roger?
Like, I can't remember which one.
I sent you a joke about which deck I wanted to play, and it was based on the one I thought actually looked cool.
Rockefeller, yeah.
Like, D Rockefeller.
Yeah, the David Rockefeller card.
It actually just kind of looks... It looks gas.
Like, I want to put that card in my deck because it just looks great.
You know, the art does.
You probably aren't supposed to pull out the David Rockefeller card.
Yeah, unfortunately the rest of it looks like a Yu-Gi-Oh card, you know, so that's a no-go for me.
Yeah, but I just love the idea that this guy is going to accidentally make people, like, the game becomes a colossal hit and people are just like, yeah, man, I just paid $2,000 for a first edition Soros and then Illuminati bought everyone else.
It's like, no, but Soros is a bad guy, but yeah, but he's a powerful card.
He tips the board, man.
And then when they're trying to find singles prices online, they accidentally like fall down the rabbit hole.
Whoa, Alice in Wonderland!
I actually want one.
I want the Soros card because I'm going to put it in my press badge when I go to events.
Show it.
No, I got the Soros rare.
I'm allowed anywhere.
You need to put it behind whatever fake press badge you have.
And if anybody ever calls you out on your credentials, then you turn it around and say you activated my trap card.
Oh my god!
Exactly.
And then by law they have to let you stay.
Listeners, I need the Soros card.
If only life was like the Yu-Gi-Oh!
anime where you could solve all of your problems including like saving the world and the whole universe or whatever with card game battling based on incredibly loose rules.
Largely focused on what the cards look like and their artwork.
This thing works as a fast pass.
This thing gets you anywhere.
The Soros card.
It's like, what do you think the Yu-Gi-Oh's rulebook looks like to support, like, oh, the jet engine on your giant mech card sucked in the little fur balls of my Karubo's card, and that means that your thing is fucked up and can't attack or whatever.
It's just like, what are you, what?
What's happening?
Again, impossible to want to keep talking about this dumb shit.
But let's get to something spicy because Lord knows I love the state slash country of Arizona.
I'm saluting, nobody can see it because this is a podcast, but I'm saluting the state of Arizona and it's time to get caught up on the state of Arizona with our on-the-ground Arizona correspondent Haley.
Haley, what's going on in Arizona this week?
I wanted to quickly bring up our boy Biggs, the guy who got retweeted ten times in a row by Trump.
So yes.
Yeah, Mike told me I had to talk about Andy Biggs.
I'm sorry, everybody.
Not knowing, not having faith that you would, jumped in to make sure that he also, like, he jumped in, like, he just crashed your event.
He knows I don't do homework.
I mansplained the segment to her, because I'm a terrible misogynist.
No, no, it's cool.
He knows I don't do homework.
He knows I skipped a lot in school.
So he's like, this bitch ain't gonna do it.
But I did.
I gathered information in my brain.
I actually know a bit about Andy Biggs because he's unfortunately a representative here, a U.S.
representative, so he gets to go to D.C.
You know what's fucking bullshit about Andy Biggs?
Everything?
Yeah, besides everything, is that this is how you know there is no God, but he won the Publisher's Clearinghouse Big Check.
Ten million.
God fucking damn it.
Oh, man.
I just love that what you just said is such a validation of atheism, where it's just like, this guy gets a $10 million check from Publishers Clearinghouse, it's like, I want to make America objectively worse.
I'm running for Congress with this money.
Also, he's going to have to use some of that money to physically pay me for respect, because don't you have to fill out a postcard or something?
You have to enter that sweepstakes, it's not just for anybody.
Yeah.
Like, you have to do a thing.
And first of all, who remembers that that's still a thing?
Well, he's Mormon, so... What the fuck?
I mean, okay, fine, then, you know... I imagine they have a lot of, um... I mean, I don't want to stereotype, but... Look, out of respect for not wanting to profile anyone based on their religion, I won't increase or decrease the dollar amount he will have to pay for respect, knowing that he injured the publisher's clearinghouse sweepstakes.
I just feel like a lot of old Mormon guys- Yeah, he wouldn't, because six people are alive that remember it, and he's one of them.
Yeah, it's an old Mormon guy thing, I'd imagine, right?
He's an old white guy.
It's an old white guy thing, definitely.
Oh, absolutely.
Well, I think just old white person in general.
Yeah, yeah.
The only time I ever saw it was when I was with my elderly grandmother and aunt, and growing up, when they were in their 50s and early 60s or whatever, I remember You know, just every other commercial.
You know, you could get a big check at the balloons.
Isn't that great?
Fill out a postcard or whatever.
No.
I'm not doing that.
No.
That's entirely too much work.
You could win me ten million dollars.
Yeah, if they want the postcard so much, they can give me the check and money first, and then I'll be happy to sign and give them a postcard.
I'll write whatever the fuck they want.
You could have won it over Biggs.
You see what you did?
I could have.
Yeah, it's my fault.
I could have been the seventh person to really throw off his math.
Yep, yep, yep.
He's also a Freedom Caucus guy, so he's with the MTG, the Bober, the Gates.
He was the guy that challenged Kevin McCarthy this last year over the speaker seat.
Remember?
He was the holdout.
He was like the... And it was like, who the fuck is this guy?
Who the fuck is this guy?
He was one of the guys that they absolutely just could not buy off to give McCarthy the speakership.
He's like a sleeper extremist, if that makes sense.
He doesn't get as much attention because he's next to Gosar all the time, so it's like, oh, this fucking Nazi.
But he was, like, heavily involved in the January 6th insurrection, like, pretty intricately.
I would call him, like, a key architect.
Olly Alexander literally, like, infamously has this video where he's like, Andy Biggs and Paul Gosar help me, like, organize this thing.
And yeah, because it's like on billboards here, like that quote.
Oh god, yeah.
The following people helped me in the planning of this insurrection.
It's like, no, shut up!
Shut up!
Yeah, the Jonah Hill gif of the- It's like the folks at the Georgia Trials asking for the speedy trial, and everybody else is just like, yeah, shut the fuck up!
No, absolutely not, shut up!
Yes!
That's kind of where I got started, was the Stop the Steal stuff.
He was a key organizer at the local ones.
He appeared on all the flyers and he was a big, like, rah, rah, rah, let's do the insurrection!
Hanging out with all the Proud Boys.
I saw a Proud Boy do the The fucking pledge allegiance during one of those events like this is the kind of things we were stirring up before the actual insurrection.
So anyway, but then he was like in the because he's a US representative.
He was like obviously in the building.
When it happened and he was that smug prick that like wouldn't wear a mask when they were all in the chamber like trying to be safe uh and he was like sitting there like with his arms crossed and like smugly smiling because he wouldn't put his mask on even though everybody was like can you please put your mask on um so he's a prick that's that's your little that's your little highlight of Andy Biggs he's a prick and um He just introduced, like, a bill that would defund the Fulton County District Attorney's Office because, obviously, what happened?
You know the thing that just happened?
With the Trump thing?
Yeah, the Trump thing.
The mugshot thing.
The thing we talked about last week.
Yeah, he's pissed about that.
Or showboating.
I don't know what it is, but...
Yeah, so it basically cut all the funds to the Fulton County District Attorney Office.
It's just a bullshit bill.
He's just a Freedom Caucus.
He's like Marjorie Taylor Greene, but a dude.
This is just a bombastic bill to get attention.
Trying to build the Biggs brand because he saw how big Boebert and MGG got by being shitheels that worship Trump.
And he just wants a slice of that pie for himself.
He actually got like a really slick profile in like Politico like a few months ago because it was like, oh, the cool Freedom Caucus guy you should know about.
And it was like him in sunglasses.
Yeah, that made me, like, see red.
Because it's like, don't try to make the publisher, Clearing House, Mormon, fuck.
Piece of shit, fascist fuck.
Like, oh, look at this cool guy.
Here's the cruel guy that wants to end your democracy!
Yeah!
Yeah, dude.
Okay, literally.
Okay, so, obviously, I don't think people, like, understand Andy Biggs, which is interesting to me, because it's, like, pretty fucking obvious he's, like, a fascist piece of shit.
There's this, like, political commentator here in Arizona that has, like, a radio show who, he's pretty, like, centrist, but he is, like, a lawyer and pretty smart, generally.
And when he was talking about Andy Biggs this week, because of all the Fulton County shit, he was like, oh, he's just Antifa MAGA.
Like, what the fuck does that even fucking fucking mean, you clown?
Literally learn some poli- He's been in politics since before I was fucking alive, doing fucking a radio show political commentary, and it's like, you just called Andy Biggs anti-fascist MAGA because you don't understand him.
You don't understand him.
He's a fascist piece of shit who wants to end democracy, and that's who Andy Biggs is.
The end.
Sorry, I got a little heated.
I don't like Andy Biggs.
If you didn't get heated, was that the thesis there?
Yeah.
I was, I was, I was pretty, I was pretty throwed off, you know?
Yeah.
Anyway, okay.
Well, the, uh, what, oh, and then Trump's obviously sharing him a lot because he likes that Andy Biggs is like, here's my ass kiss bill, Mr. Trump.
Everybody loves Trump.
Everybody, everybody loves Trump and Trump loves those that love him.
He's very much like Jesus in that way.
In fact, he was the original Jesus, you know?
Yes.
In fact, I was the original Christ, says Donald Trump, and all of his Christian Republican followers are like, yeah, we're cool with you saying stuff like this.
You can do nothing wrong, claiming you are our God.
That would be great.
Please do that, Donald Trump.
Please allow, give the podcast a little punch up.
I want them to just be like, Christ is God, and then I want Donald Trump to be like, I agree, Q is great.
It's just like, boom!
Yeah, let's sell some t-shirts or whatever, anyway.
Okay, fun over.
Time to get to our news segment.
Me fun.
From the digital headlines to the digital front lines, it's Q's in the News.
Unironically, kind of exciting that it's been a while since we've had to talk about a mass shooting.
But, you know, in the podcast Trigger Warning, we're going to have to talk about the mass shooting that happened in Jacksonville, because of course we are.
Especially this time around, because man, the Deep State sure did really set that guy up with some elaborate props.
Just another day in America.
Yeah, you know, well, but this time with extra extra fun props, Mike Rades.
Get into the nitty gritty.
Now the content.
Double content warning is over.
Don't call it racially motivated.
It was a racist murder by a fucking neo-Nazi.
I can't stand seeing racially motivated even from people who I think are kind of cool.
It was a fucking anti-black, white supremacist, fucking neo-Nazi.
I'm technically correct.
The best kind of correct.
I just can't stand it.
I can't stand these like pissy little, little like walk around words when it's like, dog he had swastikas on his gun.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I know I get a little heated when we talk about far right shit.
I'm trying to calm down on the podcast.
Artax!
Artax, no!
You know, the Nazis stole that symbol from Asia.
Hey, where are you going?
I'm not done explaining things to you.
So this is your absolute, most bog-standard, white supremacist, racist sack of shit, explicitly targeting black people to murder them because his racism is overwhelming and burning a hole in his...
Swastikas?
I mean, it might be.
person was an absolute monster who, as Haley mentioned, literally had swaft stickers carved
into their gun.
You want to take another run at that word?
Swaft stickers.
I mean, it might be.
They might be stickers.
Swaft stickers.
I'm just saying that, like, I don't want to, I didn't want to, I mean, I guess I did want
to derail it because it really tickled me.
We gotta keep things a little light, it's a little depressing.
But also he had the Rhodesian patch on him, which I thought was an interesting tidbit.
I just hate how incredible of a merchandising concept that is.
It's a product you can never sell, of course.
Of course you should never sell swastikas.
If you were to sell such a product, A swastika sticker for whatever use you might have, right?
Like, I do have a product name for you.
Yeah, I wouldn't recommend it.
But I'm gonna need my payments in Bitcoin or whatever.
That's just going to need to be untraceable.
So this guy is absolutely a neo-Nazi and is an unmitigated piece of shit.
And as Haley mentioned, There's no need for weasel words here.
There's no need to talk about this in any other terms than the most stark possible terms.
Yeah, he was so unambiguous about his intentions that in the materials he left behind for his parents, they took one look at them and were just like, OH FUCK GOD NO!
And immediately called the police.
He was originally going to shoot up a, seemingly shoot up a historically black college.
Like he went to a campus and got like turned around, you know?
Yeah.
Yeah.
This was, this was the goal.
This was the intent of, of this person to commit a, to commit a racist hate crime because that was what was burning in their heart.
And one thing that a lot of people have been pointing out is that Calling this guy a lone wolf, saying this is just a tragic thing.
The right wing in America wants this to happen.
The extreme right have been promoting this shit for a long time now.
Lone wolf is their word for it.
It takes away from the actual, like, patternistic nature of these shootings and how they're all actually connected to a specific ideology.
Sorry.
No, 100%.
You said that way better than I was going to.
God, please take the wheel from me when I'm sputtering and bumbling.
Also, remember, it's still only true if they are white.
Typically, the other people still get lumped into their larger categories.
I remember reading a lot of stuff when it was like, oh, suicide bombers in Iraq.
And it's like, there was like, American media was very, uh, they, they went out of their way to like, uh, explain the ideology behind this and like the intent and like the religious motive and the ideological motive and all this shit.
And it's like, hello, we live in America.
Start focusing on what the fuck the ideological motive is in this and like where it all stems from and why maybe the fucker, like, I don't know, kind of.
had patterns from other anti-Black Nazi killers in this country.
Right.
I just, I'm fucking annoyed.
I love hearing those little sputters, because I get them too, and I'm no fucking Sherlock
Holmes or anything, but to me, that sounds like the sputtering of somebody remembering
they're being recorded, and being just suddenly audible, and the thing that they were about
to say or wanted to actually say, into something that was a little more friendly for being
recorded.
I just am annoyed.
I do it all the time.
It makes me sad.
I feel these deeply, you know, and I have to look at, I mean, you do too, Mike.
You have to look at like the dark corners of the internet and like, you see how like people then immediately just lie about these awful murders or make fun of them sometimes, or even idolize them.
And it's just kind of dark.
I was going to actually be in the pivot to the comedy podcast section of the podcast of comedy.
No, because what you said is one of the major things about these mass shootings when it happens.
The right wing's reaction to them is immediately to disown it, to disavow it, to make up cockamamie conspiracy theories about it.
So last week, when we talked about something like this, and Elle was like, so Mike, what were the conspiracy theories about it?
And I really didn't have anything that strong for the overarching narrative.
Did I shave you in the heat this week?
It's just all false flags.
It's all fake.
We live in a fake reality.
Yeah, but no, but this week, though, this week there was heat.
This week didn't get any hot, hot heat.
I'm basking like a root wallah.
I'm ready for the heat.
The narrative that has been concocted by QAnon and other QAnon-adjacent right-wing extremists is that this mass shooting was of course done by an MKUltra sleeper agent, but it was done because Trump was receiving so much support from the black community due to his mugshot, creating solidarity between him and black people that The deep state was like, oh shit, the Republicans are getting way too, like black people are rallying to the Republicans way too hard because they see the system was corrupt and it's treating Trump as badly as it treats them.
So quick.
That's the most, I love it.
I'm going to lose it.
Dude, I love how racist that conspiracy theory is.
They saw his mugshot.
Sorry listeners, I just breathed heavily in them.
And it fostered inside of them a powerful sense of camaraderie.
They're like, ah yes, as criminals ourselves, we know all too well the mugshot.
Well done, Mr. Trump.
I'm glad we surfed different parts of the internet because that's an interesting take.
That is insane.
That's an interesting take.
I do love that.
I mean, like, it sucks.
It is racist, obviously.
I completely forgot what my part of the internet was saying because that threw me for a loop.
Like, that is wild.
I'm sorry.
Yeah.
No, that's basically it is that, um, this is this moment QAnon after the mugshot was just losing their shit.
And if you were, uh, if you were a black person who wanted to get your Tik Tok or your Instagram to go viral or to do something, all you had to do was post a video talking about how Trump's getting screwed over.
And, oh my God, was QAnon going to signal boost the shit out of you and try to make you into a famous person because they were just like, like, Trump mugshot backfires!
Now, like, solidarity of the black community overwhelming!
And it's just like... Dude, you guys want to go viral?
Here's my pitch.
Trump mugshot over...
Banjo guy song.
TikTok.
Upload.
Boom.
Anything can go viral.
5 million guaranteed hits off of that one.
You can just post the Trump mugshot with like yourself ripping ass for 5 minutes straight and then when you're done... Maybe throw like an eagle sound somewhere in there and then you're gonna go hella viral and you're gonna get a lot of people just being like, right on, brother.
Right on!
Right on, dude.
We get it.
We're with you.
Banjo-Song guy in the Appalachians, plus Trump, plus Eagle.
We feel it, America!
Actually, I do remember what I meant to bring up as far as the Jacksonville shooting, because it was from Vivek.
It was from our boy Vivek, Mr. Forgettable.
Yeah, he was talking about it on a Chuck Todd interview or some shit, and he was saying that it was the consequence of anti-racist movements.
So he's victim blaming.
Yeah, the shooting happened because America is too woke.
That was why.
Yeah, exactly.
It's just this ridiculous nonsense where... It's your fault you're getting shot.
Yes!
It was that.
I didn't think that got enough attention.
I thought that was a really wild thing to say.
Excuse me, Mr. Government.
Can I please have Goat Patrol laws?
No.
You're getting shot is a skill issue on your part.
Yeah, kind of.
There will be no balance fixes coming for guns.
Guns are fine.
Skill issue on your part, you're good.
Sorry, I'm such a bummer.
My part of the internet's a bummer.
Yours is more interesting.
They're my internet rules.
Yeah, you don't deal with any of this, so your internet must be awesome.
I watch a TikTok series.
There's a guy called The Joy of Kanji.
He dresses like Bob Ross, and he teaches you kanji by painting on a little board on a tree, like Bob Ross.
It's great.
That's like my, that's my normal like social media, you know, I just have like one, I have one cleansing social media account that it's just like time to go cleanse.
That's like the Twitter feed, like kittens being weird little guys.
Did you say that was that the only heater you had in the form of crazy conspiracy theories regarding this nonsense?
That's a big one though, that was wild.
No, it was surprising, I just didn't know.
I had to move my mic because I was like breathing.
Did you remember yours?
The heavy breathing Hayley?
You said that yours got derailed by the power of the mic.
No, I just think it was the Vivec thing, I just wanted to mention the Vivec thing because I thought that was a weird point of victim blaming.
Like, after the Q shooting, you remember the Q Club shooting?
There was like, people like Tim Pool and shit were like, well don't be groomers and that won't happen.
And yeah, Vivek was just, again, he's a presidential candidate, allegedly, and he's like, oh, it's your fault.
And it didn't really get much attention, which I thought was a little wild.
I don't deal in conspiracies as much.
I mean, I do because it kind of just like infects the whole right ring sphere, but I unfortunately deal in far-right bullshit.
So yeah, mine's a bit more of a bummer.
My body armor, you whores.
But QAnon is far right.
That's why I got so into QAnon, not into it like I'm into it.
There it is!
Every week!
Revelation of the week!
Nice.
I can't wait.
I can't wait until you've done 52 of these and I hope to God at that point... Just supercut!
I love the South.
I love the Confederacy.
I hope I can call to action one of our listeners to cut together a supercut of all of your confessions over the course of the year.
That's gonna be... I'm not sure if I'll have that power anymore.
Only time I'll ever go viral.
Yeah.
The problem is, I feel like for us to get popular like that, QAnon is gonna have to do another thing, you know?
That's just real unlikely.
Yeah.
Donald Trump will continue to do stuff, QAnon will continue to talk about it, and like swarm around him like a remora, but at some point, that fish is gonna sink to the bottom of the ocean, and the remora gonna be shit out of luck.
I gotta watch what I say.
Thank God!
Mike does not have any further conspiracy theories because that means that blissfully we can stop talking about this horrible thing and get to something lighter and fluffier.
Likely, uh, Donald Trump's ridiculous swooping hair and his ridiculous swooping mugshot and the reactions thereof.
You know, I have an unblemished record of heterosexuality, but I have to say this about the mugshot, it looks good.
My question about that comment from Jesse Watters is, when you talk about the term unblemished
record, that usually means that you are competing and that you could potentially at some point
lose.
So is Jesse Watters saying that he's been in situations where he's like, oh man, my
heterosexuality is in jeopardy here, and then he managed to pull it out and his heterosexuality
managed to remain intact?
He was like, ooh, that was a close one.
Oh man, almost became gay for a moment there.
Oh man, so lucky.
Also, you do have to admire the man's confidence, because if he might have some secret blemishes on his record of heterosexuality, he's really trying to poke the bear by bringing up the record at all.
Yeah.
He just, but he, in the moment, he just couldn't think of a different
way to describe Donald Trump.
You know, he was just, he just decided to describe it in the most
naturally heterosexual way possible.
He looks good and he looks hard.
Which again, you could say as a heterosexual man, heterosexually about
another heterosexual man, just fine.
But all of that being true doesn't necessarily take away the undercurrent of homosexuality of that statement.
And the fact that that's a possible reading.
It's like any form of art, you know?
Once you create it, it gets away from you, and other people will make their interpretation of it.
Yes!
And I am kind of forced to assume that what that guy does is like a form of performative art because he's on the fucking television doing it, you know?
So I had to see a stupid clip of him talking about Trump being hard and looking good and give him sort of credit for not being super gay modes about it.
But it is an incredibly weird way to describe a thing.
If you want to come out looking super straight at the end, I wouldn't go that way about it, mate.
Yeah, I mean, when I think of Donald Trump's non-photoshopped body, hard is very far away from the list of adjectives I would use to describe him.
I mean, other people would call it iconic.
I mean, those people are also out of their fucking mind, but at least, you know, they don't have to be like, I have an unblemished record of heterosexuality, but Donald Trump looks iconic.
In fact, if they said that, in my mind, it would, like, it would queer code essentially whatever the next thing they said was.
Like, even me just saying that, like, I was just, like, in that context, I'm thinking drag queen, I'm thinking Beyoncé, I'm thinking icon, you know?
Like, so funny.
It's just, wow.
What a way to completely undermine yourself.
Just excel at the self-owed ramp-up of the century.
The thing I really enjoyed about the mugshot was that, as a bunch of people mentioned, it's so obvious he spent so long in the mirror practicing his angry gaze.
Kind of tough.
But also sexy.
But also, like, I want to start a revolution.
But also good.
But also hot.
I want to get those Karens rumbling, but I want to get those... Apparently he settled on Entire face sloping, One Direction hair included, which I think is a crazy choice.
Because there's that dumb theory of the posture theory, you know, where it's like the alpha male Chad standing straight up and down line and the wimpy cuck beta or submissive female diagonal line.
Yeah, his whole face in that picture is diagonal fucking line, bro!
And, like, just looking at him, it's clearly he's trying to do the fucking Blue Steel or whatever it was called from Zoolander, and he practiced it mad hard.
And what he came up with was bi-diagonal line theory or whatever.
Like, the most cockiness pose you could do with your face.
How about whole face tilted sideways?
Ooh-woo!
You know?
Yeah.
And then we had, uh, we've, we've already had two QAnon promoters, uh, Photoshop the
George, the backdrop of the mug shot behind their avatars.
So we're going to have a bunch of QAnon people being like solidarity mug shots, bro.
And all that nonsense.
It's just...
These children trying to pretend that daddy is cool and they love daddy.
The AZGOP put out a like a donation letter like look at this mugshot donate to us within 22 minutes of that mugshot being released.
I thought that was wild lightning fast they must have had that like typed up they were like all right we're just waiting for that mugshot.
Oh dude I mean I'm assuming that that fucking mugshot The fires of industry were just waiting to get soaked by that mugshot.
I'm sure people on both sides were just flinging it on merch, just left it right.
That's why I don't want a Trump shirt with the mugshot, because it's played out.
It's like, everybody has one, everybody's gonna have one on both sides.
You're gonna have to show me the funniest fucking rendition of the mugshot to really get me to buy it.
I want a crucified mugshot.
Just really offensive to God.
Here's your Trump mugshot photoshop that'll get you to buy a t-shirt, right?
Get this.
It's the Trump mugshot Donald Trump head photoshopped on the picture of Donald Trump with Ghislaine Maxwell.
Boom.
There it is.
That's a good one.
Most iconic pairing of all time.
Donald Trump with Ghislaine Maxwell.
Yikes.
You know, that's a good one.
I think I'm going to make one of those and that'll be our whole shirt.
Icon.
Let's sell merch!
Yeah, that'll be a funny one.
Come on QAnon, do a thing.
Make it crazy.
I'll make it weird.
I'll make a weird one.
Do something crazy with the threat of violence but is actually non-violent for the most part, you know?
I want you guys to send me all your favorite Trump pictures and I'm gonna do something weird with it.
be our merch. Okay, but I don't have Trump pictures. Okay, but you can, you know, okay,
whatever then. Mike, this is a Mike. This is a Mike. Yeah, Mike might have Trump pictures.
My favorite picture of him is when there's like, he's at like a table,
like there's chaos. It looks like chaos is going around him and he's just sitting at a table like.
Yeah, it's the storm photo.
It's the Time Magazine photo of him at the Resolute desk and his hair flowing.
Just like, chilling.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Oh, QAnon loves that photo so much.
I love that photo.
It's so fun.
I recreate that photo as much as I possibly can.
Yeah.
Remember like 20 years ago when whenever like Donald Trump was coming up, it was people just cracking wise about the fact that it was just like, his crazy hair.
Is it a rug?
I mean, who knows?
Like, and that's all anybody gave a shit about him for.
What a time to be alive it was.
Yeah, it's almost like that was a distracting factor into the real problem.
Yeah.
Hayley, comedy... Sorry!
Don't get me wrong, we are notorious for that.
You are in the no-but seat, or as we call it here, the classic Adventures in a Hero World no-and.
It's a very difficult comedy technique to perfect.
It was the Sarge classic.
But yeah, you know?
It's gonna be rough if the no and is always just like, no to your trying to keep it funny and light, and yes and to it being fucking horrendous.
Sorry!
No, you're good.
I'm sure the audience loves it.
We've been getting a lot of positive feedback for you.
So in other words, Sarge is dead to us, and it's time to move on to our last headline, which we'll try to get through quickly, because the longer our other horseshit goes, the shorter our mailbag becomes every week.
So let's talk about the GOP being in some hot legal waters, both potentially in the future and now, breaking as we speak.
Mike, give us the quick rundown.
What's going on with the GOP's legal battle?
Okay, so right before we started recording today, the judge in Rudy Giuliani's defamation case against Ruby Friedman, he has ruled default judgment against Rudy.
Just, there will be no trial.
Rudy loses outright.
This is the same shit that happened to Alex Jones in the Sandy Hook case where the judge was just like, we do not even have to bring this to the jury.
Rudy is guilty.
He has fucked around so much that we go directly to the find out phase.
So at some ill-defined point in the next like two or three months, There will be a quote unquote trial, but that trial will literally just be how fat a check does Rudy have to cut the people he's defamed?
So good job, Rudy.
Yep.
Seeing as how Rudy literally spent this entire defamation suit screaming about how poor he is, this is probably not gonna help.
Shut your mouth!
I have actual breaking news.
Apparently Mitch McConnell had another quote-unquote freezing up incident.
Uh-oh.
He's getting close.
Yeah.
You can hear the gong.
That was actual breaking news.
I made you shut your mouth.
You know, if Rudy's broke, ladies, I know for a fact that Patrick Byrne and the entire AZGOP has also defamed you.
Get to suing.
Get to suing.
You know, don't just hit the Rudy pockets.
Hit all the pockets that defame you and ruin your lives.
It's not just one man.
It's many.
And you got to bring them all down.
I believe in you.
Yeah, those ladies That's how I found out so much about out about them.
Even because it's not Arizona.
It's not Arizona stuff but like Yeah, the Arizona people were pretty obsessed with them as well.
And it's like Yeah, get some repercussions here Yeah.
So yeah, so I just watched the video and he did it again.
Mitch just broke down in front of reporters and they said that after the clip ends, an aide just sort of grabbed him by the arm and just walked him away again.
Is this normal, everybody?
Move along?
And again, as a reasonable person, my inclination would be to be like, man, that sucks.
2.0 working as intended.
So, congratulations to him on that front.
And again, as a reasonable person, my inclination would to be like, man, that
sucks that elderly fellow is having medical problems, but he is literally
one of the figureheads of the group of people that suck the most and are
constantly demonizing everybody for everything, including, but not limited
to calling sleepy Joe Biden, sleepy Joe Biden, and being too old to be president.
So, uh, the pragmatic in me wants to just be like, Hey, guess what?
Fuck you, turtle boy.
So inside of us, there are two wolves, you know, one of them is an empathic, sensitive lad and the other one is fuck you, turtle boy.
Yeah, you know, sometimes we all have to meet our fate.
Yeah.
Yeah.
In front of the camera, but like, not actually dying a couple of times.
Apparently that's how it's going to go down.
Eventually, fate.
Yeah, that is rough.
Yikes, please, somebody step in there.
Like, where's the ref?
Yeah, wave it off.
Wave that one off.
What the fuck?
Keep having to do on-camera shit.
I'm not saying pull the plug on him or anything.
I'm just saying get him out of a position where he has to be in front of the fucking camera.
Holy smokes.
So, beyond Rudy being in bankruptcy and McConnell's health issues, also Peter Navarro, who was the other guy that got targeted by the January 6th Committee for a contempt of Congress hearing charge, he tried to claim executive privilege to avoid being charged for this, and right before the podcast started recording, The judge said, no, you don't get to try to use executive privilege to get out of this.
The trial will begin September 5th, which is like literally next week.
And he has no defense, much like Steve Bannon didn't.
So Navarro is very likely to be convicted.
Steve Bannon's looking at four months in prison.
Yes, so enjoy prison in the near future, Peter Navarro.
I feel like if your first avenue of defense was executive privilege, it means that whatever you said that you would like to be privileged, shielded from, was pretty incriminating.
You're just like, uh, privilege?
And they're like, no.
And you're just like, ooh, well, those transcripts are pretty damning.
Yeah, so I'm just not going to provide them so that I'll be convicted of contempt of Congress.
And that's that.
So, yeah.
Mr. President, I've never thought liberals were real people.
None of this is on the record, right?
Oh, shit.
Yeah, and finally, our boy Donald Trump and his lawyers decided that they were very much going to, they wanted his trial for the January 6 charges to be, you know, in 2026.
Give us a nice little two year plus.
He's into the case.
Me asking for a deadline extension.
Unfortunately for Donald Trump, the judge in his case has ruled that on March 4th, 2024, not 2026, he will actually stand trial for the four counts he's been charged with in regards to January 6th.
And as a bunch of, as a bunch of right-wing piss babies have pointed out, this is literally the Monday before Super Tuesday.
So this is election interference!
And it's like, well, maybe if your guy didn't do fucking crimes, he wouldn't be going to trial for those fucking crimes.
So yeah.
And even some liberals who've been pissing and moaning about all this are like, Oh my God, he might actually get convicted before the RNC, before he's Trump's, he's the actual official Republican party nominee.
Because, like, that's only, like, June.
So it's very possible that the Republicans will be nominating a convicted felon when they get to their convention next year.
Which, good on you, Republicans.
That'd be just absolutely incredible.
Please do that.
Good stuff.
Okay.
So I guess that means that we're through the worst of it and we can get to the best of it, question mark?
It depends.
Because it's listener mailbag time.
Our listeners got questions, we got answers.
It's time for Q and A. Listener Mailbag!
Lay it on us!
Cleodora Silvestri, the Hellworld Grand Inquisitor says, Hellworld gets isekied!
After you get trucked and wake up in Baldur's Gate 3, which class are you, what party members do you set your sights on romancing, and how do you seduce their underwear off?
Um, I don't play, I don't, I don't, I don't, I'm not playing.
Yeah, how many of those words did either of you guys understand?
I'm not playing the game, but I'll say yes.
I got the whole thing.
This is a cocktail question.
Hit it.
This one does seem pretty specifically targeted to me.
In fact, I also, I like, it's so targeted to me, I know that Mike's saying, mispronouncing it, it's supposed to be east guy.
East guy, sorry, yeah.
I mean, I guess if I have to play one of those ding-dongs, I, I mean, it's hard not to want to beat Gale, right?
I mean, I don't know.
I don't want to spoil too much of it.
Gale's got some cool shit going on.
That's pretty neat.
A burrito.
He's a wizard.
He can cast spells.
He's classically handsome and charming.
So, Gale is my pick.
Well, you were supposed to pick a class for yourself, and then you were supposed to... Oh, a class for myself!
Sorry, I misunderstood the question.
Also because I am in the process of ordering my lunch while I record, like a professional.
But I respect our audience too much to lie to them.
But we're done with that now.
So, a class for myself.
Like, I'd be barred, right?
I don't really think I have the reasonable skill set for anything else.
If I get to choose my sheet, then I'm just really tempted to really min-max it.
And I feel like at the end of the day I might Yeah, it depends.
Am I living life like it's in that world?
Like, do I have a broader life beyond the storyline?
Because if so, I'm just going to choose Bard.
They get all sorts of crazy powers that seem like it would be wildly useful in regular life.
They get high charisma to charm and deceive people.
They've got illusion magic and healing spells.
You can go to the lore college and just pick up spells from any class.
So, you know, if anybody harangues you, you could just shoot like a fucking lightning bolt at them or whatever.
Bard's pretty sweet.
I do love being a Bard.
Yeah, I was going to say Bard myself, but if Bard is taken, I would just go Rogue, because I enjoy that kind of like, just being the scoundrel, just kind of pickpocketing, just that kind of adventure.
Spellcasting, it seems like so easy, and it just...
It kind of feels like overpowered where you're just like, oh, if someone's fucking with me, giant fireball, they're dead.
I enjoy kind of the idea of having to be like more sneaking and conniving and doing that kind of stuff.
So like the feel of Rogue is like is better for me, I think.
Again, it also seems like it would give you quality outs for like general like quality of life stuff, right?
Like in an isekai story, which for the uninitiated is typically an anime, manga, or manhwa, Uh, what have you, where a person from our world gets killed, uh, typically by a truck, typically while heroically saving somebody's life.
And then they get a reroll in a different life with a bunch of powers and bonuses.
So, in such a situation, you know, like, if you're just gonna live your regular life, you could be, like, the quiet badass in a regular town who can secretly, like, stealth like a ninja, like, move completely unseen and kill an army by themselves and do crazy shit, you know?
Yeah.
That sounds fun.
Yes.
But that's why being something like a barbarian, which is mechanically strong, would be great at fighting.
That seems like it would just be kind of boring behind the scenes.
I'm sure you'd fuck a lot, but like, you know, you could do that as a rogue anyway.
Yeah.
And that's the entire point of Bard.
Bards get all the chicks, or dudes, or both.
Yeah, the first character I rolled in in Baldur's Gate 3 was a gnome that looked like Jeff Gerstmann, and, you know, He had the charisma score where it was like it didn't matter what he looked like.
I was going to pull in that game.
But I moved out of it.
Haley, what sort of classic traditional fantasy role-playing class do you want to be?
I don't know.
You don't know this archetype at all?
No.
Hit me in with them and I'll kind of know the generals.
I have played video games before.
Just hit me with them.
I forget.
Oh God.
I'm not like a dedicated... Fighter, wizard, cleric, paladin, sorcerer.
Rogue, bard.
I like being a wizard.
You get magic.
Classic answer.
You can do whatever.
The problem with being a wizard is that you have to... It's anarchy.
You just do whatever.
Well, no.
If you want the power of anarchy and the power of magic together, sorcerer is what you want.
Oh, okay.
Can you be a nice sorcerer?
Yeah, it just means that sorcerers in the Dungeons & Dragons parlance, and therefore the Baldur's Gate 3 parlance, the difference thematically between a sorcerer and a wizard is that sorcerers draw their magic power from within due to magic lineage of some form or fashion, whereas wizards are learned and they have spent time honing their craft and have now learned how to do magic the learned way.
All right, well, sorcerer, good to know.
Good to know.
Good to know.
Thank you.
We got there.
We won it in a pack, so yes.
Pancake Peasant asks, Elon has rebranded Twitter to X. What are the odds he gets desperate enough to pander and rename it to Q?
P.S.
Elon Musk, please give us each $1 million so we can forget how sad and pathetic you are.
Smiley face.
I hope I got the answers 100%.
That is the benign, non-violent Q-related bump for our podcast that I'm craving.
Elon Musk, please take your deformed penis, one million United States dollars, etc., and rename formerly Twitter, currently X, to formerly Twitter, formerly X, now Q. Parentheses, you know the one.
This is good.
Okay.
What's going to happen?
I'm going to tell you exactly how this is going to play out.
He's going to accidentally, or not even accidentally, he's just going to like tweet a couple of Q, or like reshare a couple of Q things, QAnon things.
And somebody's going to write about it and it's going to catch his attention.
And he's going to fuck with them by trolling, like, like Elon trolling by just like renaming it Q for a day.
Like he put the Doge logo, you know, that's how it's going to be.
That would be, um, I, from your lips to God's ears.
Oh my God.
Everything else saying about the bump.
Oh man.
If Elon actually went full pilled, even for a moment.
And then even afterwards it was like, Oh, it was a troll bro.
It wouldn't matter.
I just really love Quake.
Yeah.
Oh, that freakout would be so delicious for everyone involved.
Oh, yeah.
That's a meltdown waiting to happen.
Yes.
Oh, my God.
Oh, man.
The moment you log on to Twitter slash X and instead of like the X logo, you see a Q, short Tesla stock immediately.
Oh, my God.
Just print that money.
Holy shit.
Oh, man.
As he just drives everything he's ever built off a cliff.
Well, I mean, Elon's already lost his mind on a totally legitimate TikTok I saw the other day.
They said he was giving away Bitcoin.
And all I had to do was sign up for this thing.
So naturally, I fat fingered it and totally scrolled by it and then I lost it forever.
And now I never got that free Bitcoin every meal I must, you know?
Son of a biscuit.
Boo!
And finally, Homeless Cat with a Gun asks, if you could have a drink with any conspiracy theorist, past or present, who would you choose?
Alex Jones.
It would be.
He's an alcoholic.
Well, you know, I don't know.
He's, like, tried to get sober, but then, like, if you watch his shows, he's so clearly fucking not.
I don't know how I would feed into that.
I don't know what's the ethical thing here.
Like, do I, like, have another drink, Alex?
Or... I don't know.
But I'd like to see how crazy he could get, you know?
My answer depends on what your definition of a conspiracy theorist is.
Because I have a spicy one, but I'm not sure if it counts.
Yeah, just go for it.
Jesus of Nazareth.
Wow, that's a good one.
Yeah.
That would be dope.
I would have a lot of stuff to talk with Homie about.
Yeah.
That would be great.
And you know what the coolest part would be?
Is there is the outside chance that it's just like, I have a drinks with the guy?
I fucking get it, man!
This dude is sick!
He's so cool!
Oh man, this guy is fucking charisma 19, you have no idea.
Especially if I roll up on him from the future, and I'm just like, oh hey man, it's nice to meet you, dude.
He's just like, oh hey, it's El.
And I'm like, yo, what?
That would fucking flip my bean.
I'd be like, oh shit, he's the real deal.
Anyway, yeah, Jesus on Nazareth, that's my answer.
My answer is a cheating answer, but Hayley took the first choice.
Hey, it's Family Feud.
I have to guess after you.
I have to say something terrible, and then my family has to pretend that they're not ashamed of me as they clap weakly before they wait for the massive X noise to hit.
Yeah, so the number one answer is already on the board, as is the number five answer, the clever one that three or four people said that you're like, yeah.
That now falls upon Mike Rains to hit one of the filler middle answers.
Right, exactly.
So basically, my answer would be LBJ, because literally, he was like, the Warren Commission, boom, nailed it.
Oswald acts it alone, you got it.
He basically spent the rest of his life convinced that Castro killed Kennedy.
Just like 100%.
He was just like, Like, behind the scenes, he's like, fucking Castro murdered Jack.
I know that fucking prick did it.
And it's very funny because the alternative was also Castro thought that Lyndon Johnson killed Kennedy.
So they basically just had this mutual belief that the other one was the one behind Kennedy's murder.
Spider-man pointing meme.
Yes, exactly.
That's my favorite Mike Rains answer.
Mike Rains loves Kennedy.
I know!
I love it!
I love it!
Inside of Mike Rains is like a small little battery of just pure enthusiasm for JFK and JFK-related conspiracy theories.
It doesn't get to come out very much anymore because QAnon is the new kid on the block and it sucks all the air away from all the other good shit from back in the day.
We all know him.
We know Mike Rains.
He loves that show.
He loves it.
Sam, you must have loved the negative 48 people.
You were like, yes!
Oh, oh god.
Oh, we had a meeting at work and they put a... We had to calm Mike down.
You know... Oh, just hoax me off!
Hoax me off!
No, Mike's getting overstimulated.
Oh man, Hayley just like placed some garbage into the microphone.
I just actually stroked out.
Oh god, they're hitting all my sensory.
They're hitting everything all at once.
I can't handle it.
Mike, the Patriots are winning the Super Bowl again.
Oh man, at least now I can wake up from my dreams.
I know that ain't fucking happening in 10 years.
But at my work, they had a graphic of a speech.
It was just like a block of text.
And the guy giving the speech was just like, here's a block of text from a speech.
And He looked at the audience.
He was trying to gauge if anyone in the audience knew who said it.
And just the way the speech pattern worked, I 100% knew it was Kennedy.
I'm like, this is absolutely a speech from JFK.
And it was.
It was actually his speech about going to the moon.
If you don't know that speech, it's like the most famous throwaway line in it is he's at Rice University and he's trying to explain that we're doing an incredibly difficult thing and it is awesome that we are doing that.
And he was like, 30 years ago, why fly the Atlantic?
Why climb the tallest mountain?
And then he just throws away, why does Rice play Texas?
Cause Rice every year gets murdered by Texas in football.
It is dumb that they do this, but he just like chooses that as a sign of like, we choose to go to the moon, not because it is easy, but because it is hard!
In that Kennedy murderous Boston accent.
And I just, so it was just like, man, I love that speech.
It's awesome.
Kennedy's awesome.
So yeah, that was like funny.
I love your mind.
That's just filled with so much.
Hey man, we're all filled with useless information, but yours is at least a little interesting.
Uh, well, so I'll just jump into the, uh, our universal question, which is what are you looking forward to?
Which is that tonight I'm going to be doing a Twitter space talking about the Kennedy assassination.
And I hope that people come at me with all their conspiracy stuff.
Cause this is a conversation that I love having.
It's going to be a seven hour Twitter space.
Oh, I'm going to go to bed at four in the morning.
Some of our listeners, especially new ones who think that we know what we're doing, might assume that I knew you were doing that.
And that's why we started.
We like teed up that JFK segment.
But no, I did not.
You're just a DJ talking about JFK.
Oh, yeah.
So, yeah.
Figured my shots were about probably like 20 percent, maybe 22 percent.
Yeah, so that's gonna be fun.
I'm gonna be doing that at 8 o'clock tonight, so I will be probably sitting in my truck so I can listen through the radio for my speaker system and just talking to people about the Kennedy assassination, which is a hoot and a holler for me because Man, did I go down that rabbit hole way too hard in my teenage years.
Now you're stuck with it.
Yeah, basically.
I don't think people understand how much this shit fucks with people's brains, because I know I'm warped because of this stuff.
Just every every now and every now and then it'll just be like hanging out and they'll just be like ah taking this turn on this on this highway and now I'm on Elm Street now I'm about to get murdered it's just like it's just always there it's just always there in your brain and it's just like you just can't shut off and it's just like that's what being killed is like where you see the world through this ridiculous filter where everything has to be a message or a
clue directed to you.
And that is just such a bad way to live life.
Cause you're just hypersensitive to everything and freaking out all the time.
And then you got to message your friends on the internet.
They're like, Hey man, did you see the new Justin Bieber video?
It's so full of comms.
And it's just like, no, that's you shouldn't know.
It's not full of comms.
There's no comms.
There's nothing there.
Remember all that time we spent playing that JFK assassination simulator?
Back in the early 2000s.
Trying to win the bounty for getting the magic shot to happen.
Yes.
Haley, if you didn't know about this, there was this actually unbelievably tasteless game that came out called JFK Reloaded.
Oh, that's awesome.
Where you could literally beat Oswald and try to kill Kennedy.
And the thing was designed so unseriously.
You could shoot the driver and make the car crash and kill everybody.
You could just kill Jackie.
It was the most tasteless, ridiculous thing, and they pretended it was serious because they said if you could recreate the actual assassination, they'd pay you like a quarter million dollars.
And I don't know if they actually funded anybody yet or not, but that was their basis for this.
Nobody hit the impossible shot, you know?
Oh yeah.
They wouldn't let you load into the sewer.
Exactly.
Yeah.
Remember that time we wrote parody lyrics to a Nickelback song about JFK cessation?
Yep.
Oh God.
Yeah.
Your whole life is just... Yeah.
It's not great.
It's not great.
Oh yeah.
It's cool.
It's cool.
It's a cool hobby.
I like hobbies.
Yeah.
So Haley, what are you looking forward to?
You know, I thought long and hard about this while you spoke, and I'm not looking forward to anything, which is kind of actually nice, because I would like to exist in nothingness for a couple days, if that makes sense.
Not to be depressing.
I fucking need to stop, but... I mean, I wasn't going to say shit.
I'm not trying to, like, talk for five minutes.
I will be reading and chilling and that's nice.
I'll have a coffee, which I'm having now.
So what you're looking forward to is just relaxing.
It's fine to say that you're looking forward to relaxing.
I didn't think of that word.
I couldn't think of that word.
I couldn't think of the word relaxing.
Wow, how high are you right now?
I'm just, you know, it's been a long week.
Relaxing, that's the word.
Relaxing, that's right.
We also would have accepted chilling, vibing, lounging.
I said chilling, I said chilling, I think.
Eventually, but only after you, like, ramped up by preparing the audience for why you were just like, there's nothing I'm looking forward to.
It's just like, yeah, you're looking forward to doing nothing.
That's right.
That's a thing.
Doing nothing is a thing.
It's like the most stupid thing ever.
Hayley's just glitching out like Mitch McConnell.
I am.
I'm tired.
I'm just actually tired.
I think that's why I'm buzzing out a little bit.
I didn't sleep good.
Fair enough.
Well, we're almost done.
As for me, I'm looking forward to the same sundae from Friendly's that I've ordered once, maybe twice every week for the last three weeks.
What is it?
It's a sundae from a place called Friendly's.
It's a chain of ice cream sundae shop slash sit-down restaurants.
They're sort of like a fast casual eatery.
Um, they're like, they're like an East Coast sort of thing and like a Northeast Coast sort of thing.
Uh, anyway, but they've got a Sunday on the menu that I like.
And whenever I have a day off from work and I'm just like, man, I have sort of sweet tooth.
Why can't I?
Just kidding.
I'll order this Sunday.
I'm like, well, I don't want to put the driver out.
I don't want to put two drivers out.
So if we're going to order dinner, I might as well just order that now too.
So it's coming with a side of a bunch of other food.
So I'm also looking forward to doing nothing, but my doing nothing is going to include being a big fat fatty.
And on that note, we're gonna fucking roll out of Hellworld like that kid in the movie Hook.
You know the one.
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Welcome to The Crib, our latest beautifuller baby, River City Redbird.
Looks like a fan of the poker part of poker and politics.
Ho ho!
What a clever little bon-bon from me, El Bast.
You know, the lardy-bardy.
Thank you so much for listening.
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We're a few dicks.
Don't mind us.
You can do some good with it by donating it to love146.org, their organization whose vision is the end of child trafficking and exploitation.
Thank you, as always, for the use of our intro music for DJ Minimal Effort, ahead of the curve on getting off of that social media ting.
Our buddy Frosty, who delivers all of our bumps, including our voice of Q when we need it, can be found on Twitter.
You know, it's called X now, and I'm just still gonna call it Twitter.
You know the place.
At FrostyVO, you can find the show you're listening to now, The Adventures in Hellworld, on Twitter, at Hellworld, with a Q instead of an O. Look at us, being so clever.
I left that shit behind me, it's in the rear view.
We're driving by it, I've thrown my shades on, popped my collar, cruising along a sunset coast.
And in my rear view is that hellscape.
Thank God.
But you know, if you want to find some information about Arizona, the greatest state in these United States, you can find Haley, our newest and latest co-host at AZ underscore RWW, I believe.
Yeah, and, like, I'm mainly using Blue Sky and, like, Instagram right now, because I agreed, fuck Twitter, so... Gotcha.
I don't have cool invites to other places.
I do still occasionally post on Twitter.
It's just, like, can I leave?
Mark Zuckerberg hasn't invited me to Instagram yet.
I'm like, what the fuck?
Okay, so, yeah, or you can find Arizona Right Wing Watch on Blue Sky and, you know, Instagram, Facebook threads, smoke signals, etc.
However you want to transmit information, I'm sure that Haley is there.
And of course, you can find Mike Rains on Twitter, at PokerPolitics.
So, for another successful episode of the Adventure of the Hellward podcast, I have been one of your hosts, the Mysterious L, joined as always by Haley, a.k.a.
Arizona Right Wing Watch, and of course, our expert in all things QAnon crazy, Mr. Mike Rains.
