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Sept. 8, 2022 - Adventures in HellwQrld
01:24:52
Adventures in HellwQrld Episode #103: Trump loves QAnon, Oz is still a moron

This week we see Donald Trump get even more friendly with QAnon as his staff does everything they can to let the pilled Pepe lovers know that their Orange Daddy loves them very much. Also Dr. Oz can't stop screwing up, he is berry bad at being a politician. Get bonus content on PatreonSupport this show http://supporter.acast.com/hellwqrld. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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♪♪♪ Content Warning...
The Adventures in Hellworld Podcast talks in-depth about QAnon, which means we have to talk about all kinds of child abuse and violence against people.
Listener discretion advised.
Hello, everybody.
I am Mike Rains, a.k.a.
Poker and Politics, and welcome to another episode of Adventures in Hellworld.
I am joined, as always, by Sarge.
I found the button this week.
I did it.
I found the button.
Sarge is capable of finding buttons now.
Yes.
The boy is capable of learning and growth.
And I'm also joined by the mysterious El.
Beautiful babies.
A little Star Fox speak for you, for my Super Nintendo heads out there.
Do a barrel roll.
But that was before, that was when you had to read about the barrel roll.
Oh, right.
Peppy or whoever could not yell at you to do a barrel roll.
Slippy.
Slippy, Peppy, whoever it was.
I couldn't remember, is the rabbit's name Pepper or Peppy?
Yeah, I think the rabbit's name is Pepper.
Yeah, mostly I confused which of those two animal people told you to do the barrel roll.
I think it's probably both of them over the course of the game.
Everybody wants you to barrel roll.
Yeah, there's so many barrel rolls.
That's what it's all about.
Gotta hit the barrel roll.
But yeah, before they could scream at you to yell a barrel roll in full voice acting, you needed to read about the barrel roll because all they could say was dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip.
That is true.
Yes, that was the hell we lived in before we obtained actual audio capabilities in our video games.
Dude, the early 90s were buck wild.
Do you remember those VR machines that you had to actually stick your human head into?
Yeah.
It was like, I'm really inside of the world's worst rendered tank.
It was like simultaneously incredibly crappy and incredibly impressive at the same time.
And in a post-COVID world, the idea of my head and eyeballs being that close to where somebody else's head and eyeballs were is just astonishing.
I'm just like, wow.
Could you imagine?
Hell no.
Yeah, let me smash my eye slime into somebody else's eye slime.
There's no way that could end up bad.
Yeah, you suppose when you go to like PAX East or whatever these days, there's still people with VR headsets trying to get you to try their demo in the post-ROTA world.
Hey, put this headset on that 30 other people have used!
Uh, no.
Hard pass.
It's like making out with every stranger's eyes.
That's unpleasant for so many reasons.
I like how we always start every episode talking about complete nonsense in a segment that we should not officially call the Amoosamoosboosh.
It's like, yeah, before we get to talking about stuff that's even supposed to be kind of related to QAnon, instead we're just going to babble about Star Fox in the early 90s.
Yeah.
Guys, remember how cool Vanilla Ice was and everybody loved it?
I believe you mean V.I.C.E.
Remember how, I mean, V.I.C.E.
sounds like a different thing altogether.
It either sounds like a Shadowrun or a Netrunner reference or some sort of sex thing.
And neither of which I'm necessarily interested in at this point in my life.
No.
All I remember about Vanilla Ice was the story of the legend of him was that Ice Ice Baby was not the song they were trying to get promoted.
That was the actual B-side to an A-side nobody ever heard.
And then one college disc jockey was just like, this song blows, and just flipped it to the B-side, which was Ice Ice Baby, and made the guy's career.
So thanks that guy for unleashing Vanilla Ice on us.
No good so-and-so.
I remember in grade school, someone shaved Vanilla Ice into the back of their head.
They were actually rocking the Vanilla Ice haircut.
That's how hip he was to us eight or nine year olds.
He sure did derail that Ninja Turtles 2 movie.
That was top of the marketing decision for people that weren't him.
But at the end of the day, he is the one.
It's just like, hey, none of you Ninja Turtles get to use your weapons, and also Vanilla Ice is here for a music video.
I was gonna say, he got paid a cool million dollars to do that, so... M.C.
Hammer was supposed to be in the Biker Mice from Mars movie.
There was supposed to be a Biker Mice from Mars movie?
No, that was all made up, but imagine the world we live in where it was so plausible that you had to ask instead of just being like, that's bullshit, nobody ever wanted that!
I mean, I wanted that, me!
Yeah, I mean, I would watch it.
If they made it today, even with an MC Hammer cameo, like, let's go.
I am in for it.
Let's get ridiculous.
I mean, everything old is new again.
Russia's the bad guy again.
It's like people are talking about nuclear war pretty frequently.
It's sweet.
Yeah, call Mr. T. Chuck Norris and Mr. T are due for a renaissance, right?
Yeah, I feel like there are a lot of fools right now that are unpitied.
Anyway, let's forward ahead, which is a term... Always forward, never backwards.
Always forward ahead to see Amuse-Bouche for the week.
It's time for a light sampling of insanity.
Get ready for the Amuse-Bouche.
Dr. Oz fucked up.
We're just gonna leave it there.
What an insane thing to get to talk about this week.
Mike, why is Dr. Oz fucked up?
Because, for some odd reason, a quote came up from him where he was explaining where incest is or is not a problem with families.
And he was just like, yeah, like past first cousins, really no big deal.
And like, I can understand like, if you were like a doctor and you were like trying to talk about this on like the doctor level, that's like, okay.
But for some reason, our boy Oz decided that just like after making that statement, which was correct, he needed to like, I don't know, explain himself more.
And then he got into this whole thing about how like the closer you are biologically connected to somebody else, Like, you smell bad to that other person.
And he was just like, my daughters hate the way I smell.
And he was just trying to explain, like, the reason why, like, my daughters don't find me attractive because to them, I stink because we're too closely related.
And it was just like, yo, Doc Oz, I didn't need to know about your men musk repulsing your children.
This is the weirdest thing for you to be talking about.
Yeah, like some shit is some shit you probably just don't want to talk about while being recorded, no matter how factually true it may or may not be.
And look, I have not looked into this because I've never needed to, so I don't know if that bears out.
It certainly sounds plausible enough.
Dr. Oz, one of your opponents' main platforms is he's trying to legalize weed.
Maybe you And I hesitate to say this, a doctor could comment on that.
Nope.
Gotta talk about like...
Incest!
Yeah, and also, I love his bold, like, again, right, the assertation that, like, beyond your first cousin, genetically, like, sure, like, let's, let's go, uh, if you really need to hit, if you really need to hit the sheets with somebody, and, like, make sure that you're not going to produce some sort of twisted offspring, sure.
Right.
But also, you should probably never catch yourself saying out loud, like, as your actual position, yo, after first cousins, it's fair game, or whatever, because That still just sounds kinda creepy.
I mean, it just sounds gross.
Like, oh, we're only second cousins, Walter, would you like to fuck me?
That sounds weird.
Just let it go.
Just, yeah.
Yeah, and again, the thing is, don't add.
There's no value adding to them being like, oh, my daughters hate the way I smell, but that's biology, basically.
Why are you talking about that?
No one asked about this, ever!
Yeah, and then the second part is just like, it's like a horrible, whipped topic of awful, on top of an already shitty said day.
Like, he just doubled down and started talking about like, I was just like, yeah, that's why daughters hate the way their fathers smell.
My daughters hate the way I smell.
And it's just like, dude, why are you talking about the biological mechanics by which your daughters don't want to fuck you?
They don't want to fuck you because you're their father.
What?
Have you learned nothing from Trump?
Everyone dunks on him for wanting to fuck his daughter.
And supposedly progressive liberals are the ones who are ruining the family dynamic?
What is happening?
What exactly was going on when America used to be great, allegedly?
Like, Mike?
Yes.
I was about to bring up that point that Sarge just made.
The only reason why you are the Republican nominee for Senator in a state you don't live in is because the guy everyone talks about wanting to bang his daughter gave you his endorsement.
He gave you the bro fist.
He's like, Hey, Republicans vote for this TV doctor who I'm sure doesn't have a million horrifying quotes that can be obtained from his years of being in media.
Make him our nominee.
And the Republican Party, through gritted teeth and not being very happy about it, did give Oz the nomination.
And boy, howdy, is it working out really well for them.
Looking real good in Pennsylvania.
Yeah, I mean, it's got to rule what one of your candidates is making headlines, like related search term, incest, oh boy.
Aw, geez.
That's not good.
Oprah owes the country so many apologies.
Like, she's responsible for fucking so many shitbags now.
Like, Dr. Oz, Dr. Phil.
Her magazine promoted John of God.
Like, go ahead.
Go ahead and go down that rabbit hole, if you think.
Yeah, but she's a successful woman of color, and all the ship birds are white men, so how much of it is on her?
They all have a free ride, etc.
It's like, I'm not gonna hold Oprah's feet to the fire over that shit.
Oprah was hugely important for a lot of reasons, and like, if her sin ends up being, like, accidentally gave a platform to a bunch of white grifter men, I'll take that over, let's say, America's dad, Bill Cosby's sin.
That was much worse!
A little bit, just a touch.
Uh, but yeah, like it is, it is truly amazing that like Pennsylvania, which like four long years ago, Donald Trump won on his way to the White House and did have a Republican, it still has a Republican Senator right now.
So even though Pennsylvania is a blue state, it does have like red to it.
That this state has, uh, now is running a full-on QAnon supporter who has outright said, if I'm elected governor, like, our electoral votes go to the Republican.
Fuck all y'all.
And that guy is losing by seven.
And Dr. Oz!
Dr. Oz manages to do that guy one better and is still losing by eight points to Fetterman.
So like...
It's amazing that in this super important battleground state, the two candidates you have for statewide office are QAnon nut Mastrioni and lunatic incest Dr. Oz.
And this is only one of the millions of things Oz has done wrong on.
Oz is literally Sideshow Bob, just stepping on rake after rake after rake.
It never ends.
Yeah, he's like a one-man cloud parade.
I mean, it kind of makes you wonder.
It's definitely giving them too much credit, but maybe some super savvy Republican political manager was just like, okay, we need a release valve for some of the horseshit that's coming down the pipeline regarding Trump.
Let's position a one-man cloud parade in one of our races to just try to take some heat off of the headlines.
Oz is just a giant distraction.
We could have spent this six or seven minutes talking even more about the Trump news, which, boy howdy, we're gonna get to.
But instead here we are talking about Dr. Oz, talking about incest.
What a time to be alive.
Politics in 2022 are completely fucked.
Oh yeah.
Man, I can't wait for the 2024 presidential election where literally it's going to be like, hey, should Donald Trump be in jail or should he jail everybody else?
What a tough call.
What an absolutely tricky decision this is going to be for America.
Time for my hottest new catchphrase, idiocracy, et cetera.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Okay, so let's move on to our second boosh topic.
Bill Burr, of all people, comedian and Star Wars actor of conservative bent, last I had checked.
Bill Burr, of all people, making headlines for turning on Donald Trump, he said, with the quizzical inflection of someone from New Zealand.
No, it's Bill Barr.
Bill Barr?
Bill Burr, sorry, damn it!
I can't keep these fucks straight.
Yeah, no, our boy Bill Barr, who could be Bill Burr for all I know, but... No, I read the thing I wrote down, which I wrote down incorrectly, and it sent me on that jag that I did intentionally.
I, a professional.
I don't make mistakes.
Yeah, we should have just, we should have just, yes.
He ended the shit out of that.
Just made it made a thing about a whole cloth about bill.
I mean, I genuinely wish that I had caught it, and then actually did just pivot to doing it on purpose.
But, you know, that's not the timeline we live in.
We're not big enough to get sued by Bill Burr, but from everything I've heard, he's actually a nice guy.
Except when he's whining about cancel culture, so... Yeah, he's got, like, conservative- he's sort of like a- he's one of those, like, stealth Republicans, like Adam Carolla or whatever.
Yeah.
Who's like, yeah, like, I have some political ideas that, you know, are sort of, like, liberal or whatever, but also, I don't get this very obvious thing.
I thought having a penis made you a man!
Yeah, so basically Fox News brought Bill Barr on and he was the guy that cleaned up the Mueller report.
He basically handled all of Trump's crimes for most of Trump's presidency.
And, but he was the guy that dipped out right before one six, like literally Trump loses the election stuff's happening.
And Bill Barr out of nowhere is like, I got to spend some time with my family.
And some people were like, what the fuck?
Like this dude was willing to go to the mat for Trump.
Like, what does he think is going down?
That is so bad.
He won't defend it.
And then there was an attack on the Capitol.
We were like, Oh, that was what was going on.
Ain't that a thing.
But Fox News brought him on and they were like, hey, Bill, these documents in Florida, really not a big deal, right?
And Barr was like, nope, totally a big fucking deal.
Don't know what you idiots are talking about.
This shit's bad.
It's real fucking bad.
Shouldn't have happened.
Not happy about it.
And you could literally see the light in the Fox News host's eyes die as they're watching Bill Barr talk.
Like so much Chris Pine topical.
Yes!
Yes!
As of recording, that Chris Pine shit is still just sort of cresting.
People have come out to say literally no, the biggest pop star on the planet did not spit on this actor in front of millions of people and cameras and stuff.
That's not how this went down.
He looks so dead-eyed inside every time he's in an interview.
I love it.
It certainly makes, I mean, you know, they say there's no such thing as bad publicity, but I guess we'll find out when that movie comes out.
Yeah.
Don't worry, darling, in theaters sometime.
Yes!
Sorry, Florence Pugh, you're getting wrapped up in this one.
I believe you mean Florence Poo.
That'd be great if that wasn't a joke.
That's actually how you're supposed to pronounce it.
It's Poo.
No, did you not know about the email?
Where Olivia Wilde called her Ms.
Poo to try and get Shia LaBeouf back in the movie?
I thought she called her Ms.
Flo.
I thought Flo was the insult.
It was Ms.
Poo.
You know what?
We made a pact that we weren't going to talk about this.
And then I broke it immediately.
I will unbreak it.
I'll do a Doctor Strange.
I'll fuck everything up and then magically put it back together at the end.
No harm, no foul.
Anyway, so Bill Barr, of all people, sticking the dagger into Trump's back?
Yeah, saying that Trump... So, a special master was appointed to, like, Go over the documents for the FBI and the DOJ by a judge appointed by Trump.
And Bill Barr said, that's wrong.
You shouldn't have done this.
This is very bad.
It looks very bad.
It is wrong.
It is truly baffling.
He's just like, oh.
It certainly doesn't make him look any more innocent.
Yeah.
Unless you were one of the people who already somehow thought that he looked kind of innocent.
Then you're just like, yeah, gotta preserve all the evidence of his innocence.
And the rest of us, it's just like, he's obviously guilty and the proper channels are being gone through to prove his guilt.
And somehow he keeps managing to pull strings to get people in there to try to fuck it up.
It's like, what is going on?
How does he still have so much juice?
Like, what the fuck does this guy have to do for them to cut and run?
Anyway, we'll rant more about this here in a moment.
Yeah, it's really, it's just really wild that there are these tiny few Republicans that are willing to be like, you know, like the juice ain't worth the squeeze when it comes to Trump.
I'm out.
I'm leaving this guy.
But so many are just, nope.
We are just clinging even tighter to Trump than we were before.
It's so wild.
I've mentioned this before on the podcast, but it's like, if anything like this ever happened with the Democratic Party, our media would destroy them.
It would be a dead party.
If Hillary Clinton was indicted after losing an election and she was still the presumptive frontrunner for the next Democratic election cycle, All you'd ever hear in the media is, oh my god, the Democratic Party is this cult of personality with an unpopular loser figurehead.
What the fuck is wrong with them?
Why can't they find fresh faces and new ideas?
But, like, this shit's happening with Trump and our media's like, oh, that rascally scamp Trump and those Republicans, what kind of trouble are they getting into this week?
Oh, it's a hoot and a holler!
Yeah, I mean, I'm not gonna lie, a lot of the media coverage, despite the fact that apparently liberals have the media sewed up, a lot of the coverage I've been saying about Biden's string of W's can't help but get into like a paragraph or two about how bad his polling numbers are.
Yeah, exactly!
He's just been crushing it these past two weeks, it's absolutely devastating, the dark brand think it's hilarious, Republicans are quaking in their boots.
However, like, you know, we do still hate him.
We are going to talk about how Americans were just like, hey, we thought gas prices were pretty high, and then there's usually not a follow-up subparagraph or two they're talking about.
However, over the past couple of months, I mean, gas prices have come down like $1.25 a kilowatt across the board or whatever.
It's pretty nice.
Yeah, they just stop at the part where they're talking about how the economy was shitty and it's his fault.
But OK, we begrudgingly accept that he's been crushing it the past three weeks or whatever.
Oh yeah, it's always there.
There's always this thing where after you credit Biden for what he's doing, there's a but.
There has to be a but in there.
I actually, I saw, I forget what paper posted it, but they were like, yeah, Biden's been crushing it, but he really needs to declare that he's not going to run for re-election in 2024 because he's too old.
And it's like, why?
Why the fuck would he?
Why would a president, why would an incumbent president for any reason other than like horrifying health issues or crippling unpopularity run for re-election?
Trump ran for re-election!
Especially with momentum clearly swinging that direction.
I mean it's like a pendulum, right?
But currently, the dark Brandon shit, like his string of political successes,
like all that stuff has contributed to like, a little bit, it feels like there's like a little bit of a blue tide on
the rise.
And we'll see if that carries through into like, you know, the end of 2022.
But it might not, because it could change on a dime.
Yeah.
Oh yeah.
But I mean, as Sarge just mentioned there, like incumbent presidents run for reelection.
That's what they do.
The last guy that didn't do it was LBJ in 68.
And that was because he was losing fucking Vietnam and America hated him for it.
So I mean, it's like, that's the level of shit you have to eat to be like, you know what?
I ain't going to try this.
I mean, you have to go that bad.
Unless The Rock wants his shot.
If The Rock wants his shot, then get Joe Biden out of there immediately.
Oh, that'd be hilarious.
Oh, if The Rock bigfooted Joe Biden, I'd be here for it.
That'd be the most funny political... That'd be incredible.
And then he's just like, hey, for my first order of president, I'm legalizing weed.
Forgiving any more student loan debt.
The Rock is progressive, motherfuckers.
It's like the start of Saints Row 3.
Yeah, it's just like, cool president elected for a first time.
Everyone agrees, pretty cool.
But no, the reality is that we have to talk about a decidedly uncool former president even more.
So let's get to our headlines for the week.
From the digital headlines to the digital front lines, it's Q's in the News.
Donald Trump fucked up a bunch again, moving on.
No, we can't do that.
Yes.
God, if only.
That would be the greatest thing in the world.
That'd be great.
Well, I'll let Mike decide where we want to start with Trump's fucking up of the week.
Okay, well, I guess we'll start with a special master thing that Sarge brought up previously, that had Elle, like, just fuming about with this shit, which, because literally all of legal Twitter is just, like, throwing shit at walls and screaming, because this judge, whose name is Cannon, and everyone's been calling her Loose Cannon, She doesn't have jurisdiction in this case.
Trump's lawyers aggressively judge shopped to just find a crank that would actually listen to them.
In her ruling, she's admitted, look, I don't have jurisdiction here because the crime happened
in Mar-a-Lago, which is not where I am.
And the other people who have standing in this case are in DC, also where I am not.
But because you have come to me and I'm absolutely a hack who got appointed to my judge job after
Trump lost the election.
So they were just looking for the crankiest cranks to pack on the court in the last, in
the dying days of the Trump administration.
So she basically said, look, we're going to have to delay this thing while I get a special
master to go through all these papers and see what's personal information for Trump.
And it's not the other thing.
And the funniest part about this is the DOJ was like, hey, in these just giant treasure troves of top secret classified information that Trump is not supposed to have, we have papers.
We literally have like 500 odd papers that are probably personal information for Trump.
We will be glad to give them to Trump.
And she would not let them do that because that was the only way she could make her bullshit ruling.
She had to be like, now, now, Department of Justice, I will not let you voluntarily give these documents back to Trump.
Instead, I'm going to make this process happen to try to throw sand in the gears of how you're prosecuting this.
Yeah, everything I've seen or read about this is it's a delaying tactic.
Everybody is just like, This amounts to nothing.
Good day, sir.
Like, this is a delaying attack.
Well, yeah, because there's no... Who are they going to find to, like, go in there and then just, like, blatantly lie and just be like, yeah, I mean, shit looks fucked up to me, so I guess we have to throw this one out, boys.
OK, I'm out.
And then just hope that doesn't get appealed in some way or that, like, they never have to fucking back up those claims or whatever.
Like, it's the Cyber Ninjas all over again.
They're going to get in there.
They're just going to be like, OK, Time to confirm that all of this stuff is, yep, it's, ooh, it's real bad, so okay.
It's like, I mean, in response, it sort of seems like in response to this ruling, the FBI was just like, oh yeah, by the way, like, one of us has leaked to the Washington Post or whatever that one of the things that was found here were documents related to a foreign power's nuclear capabilities.
Yeah, exactly.
Jesus fucking Christ.
You think you're at your golf resort?
What?
Yeah, basically, somebody on the intelligence side of this thing was just like, okay, this judge has made her dumb ruling.
We're going to let everybody know how fucking bad this really is.
This is like the actual worst shit imaginable.
So, good luck.
We're gonna win the Court of Public Opinion on this one while Judge Crazy Pants tries to fucking just rewrite the Constitution to try to give Trump secret special ex-president rights that no other person in America has.
Yeah, I saw that this is super likely to get overruled by a higher court.
Yeah.
Yeah, well, the big fear that everyone has is that the 11th Circuit, which is where this is going to go to, is like 11-5 or something like that, Republican to Democrat, and I think six of them are Trump appointees.
So it's a real question of just how many cranks have they put on the bench.
But the other thing is that, again, most of these Trump judges have laughed at Trump's lawsuits.
I mean, if you were just like, oh, Trump judge means he's going to get away with it, well, Steve Bannon, who we're going to talk about later, he got convicted in front of a Trump judge.
All of the dumb lawsuits that Trump was filing about the election, a lot of them went before Trump judges who threw them out.
The Supreme Court's the Trump court.
They laughed at him about his fucking 2020 election things.
Yeah.
A lot of his judges, fortunately, unfortunately, have shown that now that they're appointed, they don't
fucking care about him. But yeah, like you were saying, they really judge shop to find one
that would listen to it.
And it's still baffling how they got her, like, able to weigh in.
Yeah, and she literally held their hand through the entire process and help.
She was part judge part plaintiff in this case.
Like everything she did was just absolutely had like, again, everyone's like furious about it.
And it's like, yo, she's She's corrupt.
You can just call a spade a spade.
This isn't something incredibly weird.
You don't have to try to wrap your head around, I don't understand the legal reasoning of what she... No!
She's just on the take!
She's just on the payroll!
Maybe they sent some conservative goons to her place, like so much Georgia voter fraud.
We had somehow forgot to put in our notes to talk about, so I'll do really quickly here to talk about it.
So what happened with this?
I saw a headline.
I did not finish reading.
I didn't read the article.
I saw a fake... Here's my understanding from going over this real quick.
A fake Trump elector escorted some election officials somewhere?
What?
So what actually happened?
Yeah.
Yeah.
The headline is, uh, security footage shows Georgia County Republican chair election official present during breach of voting equipment.
So basically, um, these people who were false electors may have been in on an effort to, uh, hack into these voting machines because this was like the, this was their goal for the longest time was get voting machine data.
to prove that the election was stolen.
So, like, not only were these phony electors working on the, oh, we're just gonna submit phony lists of electors to Congress for the Electoral College, those people were also arm-in-arm with the Mike Lindell packet captures crazy people that were actually trying to attack voting machines to get quote-unquote evidence from those voting machines to prove that the shycoms stole the election.
Honestly, if you look at the stills for the security footage, or for the footage itself, they just look like a pack of goons.
Like, they're clearly goons.
You're like, wow, look at these goons.
They'll have positions or whatever, but the way they're carrying themselves, it just seems like they're up to no good.
Maybe that's just the benefit of hindsight, because it certainly seems like they were up to no good, considering they were, quote, present when data breach happened, unquote.
Wink wink.
They just happened to be in the area when that went down.
We can't say either way whether or not they...legally we can't say either way.
We're not saying they're due crimers, but a crime was due while they were present.
Yeah, so that's, I mean, all we can say is that they were around.
I mean, they were just like, around, man.
And we also weren't saying that until it became very obvious that they were caught on camera being there.
You know what, on second thought, maybe we were there at the time, during the time when that happened.
Oh, that reminds me of a small headline that I forgot to bring up was the new owner of Politico, some German guy who is obviously a Trump fan, someone who came up to him and was like, hey, is it true that on Election Day 2020, you sent out a corporate email asking everybody in your company that wasn't Politico back then to pray for an hour that Trump would win re-election?
And the guy was like, I have no idea what you're talking about.
That's patently false.
And then they were like, here's the email you sent out.
And he's like, oh yeah, that could have been me.
It might've been a witty jape I was making that day.
Who knows?
So it's just so funny that it's just like, hey, guy that's supposed to be like a fair and balanced handler of a political internet forum.
Isn't it true you're a raging MAGA chud?
Nope, not true at all.
Here's proof of you being a MAGA chud.
Oh, you call this proof?
I call this a joke.
Obviously everyone jokes about praying for Trump to win when they don't believe it.
This is so hilarious.
All my liberal friends were joking about the old Trump prayer.
It was like, ah, you guys praying for Trump today?
Whoa.
Yup.
Who?
Not me!
We reserve those jokes for when school shootings happen.
That is when we joke about prayer.
Because that's when thoughts and prayers happen.
Like suddenly we all become awash in the sea of thoughts and prayers and it makes us want to joke about them.
Anyway, look at us, we're three sub-layers deep, which is great because it allowed us to talk about something that wasn't just Trump solidly for like 40 minutes.
But now, back to talking about Trump.
On top of all the nuclear paper shit and all the other horrible nonsense he's been up to, or I guess in defiance of this and obvious God's will, Donald Trump held a rally And apparently it was popping off Q style, unsurprisingly.
And based on some photos I saw on Twitter, Nazi style, also unsurprisingly.
Well, yeah, the the photos were from 2016.
So the people that were posting that stuff were engaging in some fake news, some actual literal fake news.
Some blew it on.
I mean, like, I got face faked!
Yes!
Like earlier when I Ron Bergen did the Bill Burr thing!
I'm very easy to trick!
That's what we say about Elle all the time.
Oh god, that needs to be in your Twitter bio.
Quote, I'm very easy to trick.
Close quote, Elle.
But what happened was, at the end of Trump's rally, where he said all the things that QAnon wanted him to say, there was this weird moment where he goes into his prepared finish, and everyone's heard it a million times, where he's like, we're gonna do great, blah blah blah, I'm winding it down.
They started playing music over it and there were some political commentators who were like, Oh my God, Trump's going so long.
They're trying to play him off the stage.
They're trying to get rid of him.
But this was actually like part of the plan of the rally.
was they hit this music for him at the end, and while they're hitting him with this music, the music is actually a mix of two different songs made by Lunatics, one of which has the title Where We Go When We Go All, and the other song is titled I Am Q.
And so Dan Scavino and the Q team put this musical interlude in at the end of Trump's speech, and oh boy, does QAnon get the reference.
And they are so happy their god emperor gave them a tummy rub.
I mean, to be fair, this is the closest to W that it gets for these people, right?
Oh, absolutely.
Absolutely.
Having the God Emperor literally play their music at one of his rallies?
Oh, yeah.
So, oh, they were over the moon about this.
They were so happy that their hero, their MAGA king, busted out some poppin' tunes, and it's all these really cool, like, Like, I don't know.
They're instrumentals that are, like, just boring is the best way to describe these songs, but the people who played them, they knew why they were playing them.
They knew the audience they were trying to hit, and those people got the dog whistle real fucking clear.
The Trump Q interwovenness is getting more intense.
He's constantly retweeting them on Truth Social, constantly signal boosting them.
And the other fun thing that happened at the rally involving the Q people was our boy, Donald Trump, the guy that may actually be suffering from dementia, unlike our current president, In his rally, and this is a direct quote from Trump, he said that last week Mark Zuckerberg visited him at the White House and kissed his ass and tried to, like, make sure that Facebook and all these, and Meta and all that stuff wasn't gonna be, like, harmed.
And Trump was like, oh yeah!
Last week at the White House, huh?
Yes, last week at the White House.
This was a direct quote from Trump, that last week at the White House he was hanging out with Zuck.
Sounds right.
And of course, the Trump Dementia Truthers that do exist on Twitter and are everywhere were like, holy shit, look at this guy.
He's fucking falling apart right in front of our very eyes.
He hasn't been in the White House for two fucking years.
What's going on with this guy?
And QAnon on the other side was like, Devolution is real!
He's the shadow president!
He's admitting it!
He like, brought in Zuck to the real White House and laid down the law to him about what's really going on and he's gonna reveal his true presidential power any day now!
I hate everything and everyone.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So between like the rally, the last week thing, and the fact that this week Trump has been repeatedly calling for a new election over and over again, he's like, Hey, you either have to throw out that old result and declare me the president right now, or we run a do over right now.
We got to do something.
QAnon is just so hyped that something is going to happen.
Spoiler alert, nothing is ever going to happen.
You're wrong.
Has anybody checked to see when Zuckerberg started doing his big media push for meta initially?
Was it two years ago?
Is there a chance that Donald Trump actually thinks that it's 2020 or whatever?
Yeah, I don't exactly know when he tried to rebrand Facebook as meta.
That would certainly make it a lot more plausible that Donald Trump thinks a new election is a thing that they could do.
If he thought the real election just wrapped up, he could just be like, you know what, it was corrupt, let's run it back!
Doing that after two years just seems completely bonkers in a different way.
Like in a weird, unhinged kind of way.
Yeah.
I didn't hear about the part where he's like, he came to me at the White House.
Maybe he thinks Mar-a-Lago is the White House?
That would be just as bad.
If his legal defense for all the document stuff is just like, Your Honor, Donald J. Trump thought he was still at the White House because, you know, he has like a minor but curable brain thing that we'll ignore as soon as this is over.
Yeah, that would be wild.
It looks like the whole meta thing started in October of 2021, so that wouldn't work out on that timeline either.
Damn it.
My fucking pie-in-the-sky conspiracy theories.
My Blue Anon conspiracy theories.
Damn.
If only we could fix things and make things right and better and more good.
Yeah, so we go from all the fun of Trump falling apart to our good friends at Kiwi Farms falling apart, because thank fucking God for that shit.
So, I mean, we know that Kiwi Farms isn't exactly, you know, like, The most savory website?
God, no.
Yeah.
It's also not the most QAnon-based website, but it is definitely a website that lives in the Channosphere.
It lives in that aggressive, trolly, shitty, miserable person, being awful to the world kind of thing.
And they had been aggressively doxing and ruining people's lives, and then Cloudflare, the people who've been providing them with DDoS protections and other internet protections, they decided, you know, we're just gonna leave Cloudflare, we're gonna leave Kiwi Farms on.
Fuck them.
Like, as bad as they are, we tolerate what Kiwi Farms is doing.
We here at Cloudflare, totally okay with them.
They deserve a platform for their freest of speech.
Oh yeah, absolutely they do.
So I didn't realize that they were as bad as they were, but then I've seen all the reports rolling in of they're basically the worst and have doxxed and chased a woman out of the country and they're incredibly transphobic and have pushed more than one person to suicide through intimidation and doxxing.
Oh, yeah.
And some woman just posted about how their nine-year-old trans child was just living their life and Kiwi Farms got a hold of their information.
And in the middle of a driving snowstorm, there were still strangers' cars parked outside their house from weird Kiwi Farms stalkers.
Still harassing them, even then.
Like, even this driving snowstorm wouldn't keep them from, like, finding ways to, like, get to their house and, like, let them know, we're watching you, you creepy groomer lady with your child that's obviously not trans, but you're trying to make them be trans because that's how humans work.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Kiwi Farms, their whole gimmick is being terrible and transphobic.
I don't feel like we need to get any more specific examples of that.
But at the end of the day, I didn't know fuck all about this shit until Keffels, their most recent victim, went through their odyssey with this and was posting about it on social media.
I had never heard of these fine folks before.
So it was wonderful that over the course of this prolonged attack against them that
Kevils eventually did kind of take them down Yeah, so it's like it's got like kind of a happy ending
there. Yes Eventually all of these websites that were previously just
like we're cool with it had to just be like just kidding We are not cool. Yeah. Yeah, we're much less cool than
previously advertised. Yeah Cloudflare caught enough heat that they were like, okay, we're out, we're done.
And then Kiwi Farms immediately got attached to some Russian server.
But if you haven't heard, Russia's going through some shit as of late.
And apparently that Russian server that Kiwi Farms was on, like crashed and burned almost immediately.
It was about as effective as Russia's military.
Yeah, because Frederick Brennan mentioned, he's like, oh, Kiwi Farms is dead.
And then I was like, what about the Russian server?
Because I had heard about it like literally two days previously.
He's like, it's already down.
So like the Russian server like lasted less than 48 hours before crashing and burning.
Because Like the people that were these shitty monsters were like, oh, we have the Russian server and we're back in business, baby.
Nothing's going to slow Kiwi Farms down.
And then just like the real nothing bad ever happens to the Kennedy's moment.
And then the car just smashed us.
Well, yeah, because Cloudflare was there like anti DDOS protection, right?
It was.
Yeah, that was a host.
So once they lost access to that, it was just like anybody that kind of wanted to could just be like, Oh, those fucks found a new way to open up.
I guess.
Instead of the actual cyber soldiers in the form of a DDOS attack.
Yeah, it's pretty much, yeah.
That's why 8chan went down.
It's basically, like, the internet just exists where if you're shitty, there are enough people that know how to DDOS attack you that can make your shitty site go away.
It's kind of like you have to play within the rules to have companies stop that from happening to you.
It's a very weird form of vigilante justice on the internet that we have.
Yeah, it's weird.
There is a line, but the line seems weirdly pretty far out, to the point where it has to be just like, hey, there's the potential that since lives are lost, this might come back to you being responsible.
And then companies are like, oh, we don't want that.
Please don't do that.
Yeah.
Do not look at us as responsible for the deaths of people where that's not what we're about.
And then they usually like step in and they're just like, OK, bad, bad supremacist website.
Bad.
Yes.
Whack it with a newspaper on the nose.
Show it you mean business.
That's cool.
Fuck them.
They fucked around and found out.
It's too late for a lot of people who had to go through a lot of shit.
Now they're the fighting out portion.
The best part was reading the statement by the dickhead who was responsible for the thing.
Talking about the Cathedral over and over again, like it was a Final Fantasy game.
And, you know, obviously just being like, it's not my fault.
We're super cool and chill.
There were some bad people on the site, but they blamed all of us, super unfairly.
Most of us like totally are like fine and normal.
It's like, okay, buddy.
But then he would just keep talking about the Cathedral.
Or whatever.
It's just like, uh, that's like crazy talk, man.
Like it doesn't seem like you're cool or normal.
It seems like you've, you've got some pretty strong, weird opinions about stuff.
And cathedrals.
You really care about cathedrals.
Yeah.
Man, I wish I had remembered to save that or whatever, because it was a fucking hoot and a holler.
Anyway, fuck them.
Fuck them, but that's closer to... That is a W. Like, what I talked about earlier, how the Q people, they have to get close to Ws.
There was a campaign by good people to defeat this bad thing, and it got defeated.
Right.
It was a little late happening, but that is a win.
Right. Yeah. Yeah. Team Deep State pulled another W crushing free speech on the internet.
How you like them apples? Oh yeah. Uh, one of my favorite people on the internet, Glenn
Greenwald, that fucking piece of shit. Uh, he was throwing a big sad over Kiwi farms
getting deplatformed and it's like, you're just, Oh boy, was he? Yeah. It's like, yeah,
fuck you. It's like, seriously dude. Like who looks at this fucking site and things
like that? This is good.
I should totally defend them.
I just, like, people, I don't understand.
I don't understand how anybody defends any of this shit that these assholes do.
But what blows my mind even more is that when you're somebody like Glenn Greenwald, who is a gay man in an interracial relationship, and you defend these people, it's like, who do you think they're gonna come for next?
Like, do you think that, like, your support will buy you anything in the Kiwi Farms regime when they gain power?
Like, I've just never understood, like, why you sell out to a movement that wants to kill you.
I've just never understood that.
It's so, it's so fucked up to me.
The thing is that their free speech argument falls apart immediately because the internet does allow, there are places where you can get away with saying a ton of shit, but none of these clouds know how to hate without it being actionable.
Like you can hate a thing as much as you want and talk about hating it as much as you want even if it is a thing that you should not hate and makes you a piece of shit.
But, like, as long as you're not actually being part of anything that brings it into, like, real-world violence, or real-world harassment, or real-world stalking, or anything that has, like, actual repercussions, like, that is when companies start to step down on you.
So it's just, like, if these clowns could just keep it in their pants, like, then a place like Kiwi Farms... I'm sure there are places tucked away on the internet, like, Forbes, for just people who just, like, doesn't like Mexicans.com or whatever it is.
They just talk about their life in L.A.
as white people.
They're just like, man, we're racist.
But they never do any bad stuff, so these 30 guys never get arrested or deplatformed.
Yeah, I mean, like, the funniest thing is fucking watching people on Gab piss and moan about being censored.
When the guy that runs Gab is a fucking Nazi, and he literally says, he literally says, the only red line I have on this site is to not make actionable threats against people.
And yet, like, they still do it, and then when that guy turns you into the cops, because fuck you, I ain't fucking standing for that shit.
Then everyone's like, oh, Torba, you fuck!
You don't really stand for free speech, you piece of shit!
It's like, dude, you threatened to fucking murder somebody on his website.
Of course he's gonna turn you in.
He isn't gonna be fucking caught dead trying to defend that shit.
Yeah, he's not doing time for you, idiot.
He's not losing everything for you, you dummy.
And it's proven that disgraced anime, former anime voice actor, Vic Mignola,
knew the owner of Kiwi Farms and used that website to harass people
that were suing him.
and for being a sex pest and defamation.
When you started talking, this is not what I was expecting to come out.
Kiwi Farms is a weird, deep rabbit hole.
I don't know what I was expecting, but I wasn't expecting to be talking about fucking Vic Magnola or whatever that guy's name is.
Yeah, no, he's part of the whole Kiwi Farms-like story, weirdly, unfortunately.
I don't know.
It is the oddest, deepest rabbit hole.
Yikes.
Maybe it's the universe telling us that voice actors can only get so famous.
Yeah.
Like the same thing that happened to the fighting game community.
It was just like, oh shit.
Like Smash Brothers especially.
Oh shit.
A lot of people watch Smash Brothers.
Pretty cool.
A lot of people signing contracts to be friends with the gaming teams or whatever.
I wonder how this is going to shake out.
Uh... badly.
Not great.
Wow.
Look at us.
Classic Adventures in Hellworld talking about just complete nonsense.
But what we should be talking about is, unfortunately, Ginny Thomas.
Another person in a weird position considering their biracial marriage, right?
Yeah.
It seems like, like, what are you doing?
Anyway, I mean, what do I know?
I'm not in the position.
It's not my call to make.
But still, like, I will say, for the record on the outside, it seems kind of weird.
Yeah, it's really funny that Clarence Thomas is like, yeah, we need to re-look into gay marriage and birth control and all these other, like, hippy-dippy liberal things.
And it's like, yo Clarence, what about Loving vs. Virginia?
Gonna dig into that one?
Do you think that one was incorrectly, was that incorrectly ruled?
Is your marriage illegal?
I mean, or should it be illegal?
Yeah, but our girl Ginny, who is married to Clarence, and Clarence, who, after the Dobbs decision, came out and was like, hey, you just can't piss and moan about a ruling you don't like.
You gotta suck it up, buttercup.
That's the way the world works.
Turns out that Ginny was very much upset about a result she didn't like, and she was working real hard to try to get that result overturned.
She wasn't listening to her husband very much about this, because previously we had known That she had thrown a shit fit in Arizona, trying to get them to decertify the election or to give it to Trump in 2020.
But it appears that the Ginny Thomas U.S.
tour also had a stop in Wisconsin, where she did the same thing, where she decided to tell the various lawmakers and the Congress there, hey guys, you got the power, how about just giving your state's electoral votes to Trump?
Because that would be really cool.
So, it's really wild that we have the wife of a sitting Supreme Court Justice just aggressively trying to undermine an election decision.
And we're all just cool with it.
We're all just totally okay with Clarence Thomas still sitting on the Supreme Court and ruling on these things that are, like, not scary in the slightest.
He was the one guy in the 8-1 ruling that was like, oh yeah, Trump has to give over all the information about what was going on.
He was the one guy that was like, hey, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, calm down here.
Relax a little, everybody.
Like, fucking Gorsuch and Amy Coney Barrett and Kavanaugh, all those nuts were like, oh no, the president is not a king.
And Thomas was like, hey, wait a minute, what if the president was a king?
How about that?
Let's try that legal theory out.
So it's just like, oh my God, this is... What if?
Yeah, what if?
Yes.
Well, yeah, I mean, it just seems like of all the people that you expected to be coming out of all of the tumultuous political landscape as, like, a headline-grabbing, like, roustabout, Jenny Thomas, I mean, if you had them on your bingo card, wow, what a come-up.
Like, oh, my God.
Like, if you were somehow in that pool and you were like, Jesus, Jenny Thomas, oh, my God.
Two years ago?
Dude, you're making hella bank now.
Yes, that was quite the long shot that came in for you.
She can't stop committing treason, like... Oh, and what are the odds that she was the leaker of the Dobbs decision from Alito to put the squeeze on Kavanaugh to stick with it and just kill abortion instead of going with what, uh... Oh, God.
Roberts.
Yeah, going with Roberts' more milder decision that he wanted.
Uh-oh, Mike's going full Blueanon.
No, but I'm just saying, because everyone was like, they've got to find the leaker.
They're going to find that liberal leaker who tried to make the Supreme Court look bad and smash cut to the ruling that's released.
And everyone's like, leaker?
What leaker?
I don't know what you're talking about.
We never said we were going to investigate the leaker.
So it's like... Maybe it was just people being like, oh, they didn't change their minds because it's illegal, but who cares?
Oh, but oh, I mean Fox News and everyone was throwing themselves on the fainting couches about how this was the greatest breach of decorum in the Supreme Court's history.
And we have to find the leaker.
We have to have justice.
So you think that it's Jenny Thomas exercising her weird amount of juice?
Well, I just, I, what I think it is, is I, the, the original, the original idea was that it was a liberal who leaked it in an effort to make the court look bad.
And I think the reality is it was, it was a conservative who leaked it because they knew that Kavanaugh and Roberts had been hanging out a little too much.
And they were like, no, no, Kavanaugh, you go with the hardliner lunatic ruling.
You don't listen to that naughty squish Roberts and try to save a little sliver a row for the people.
You bring the hammer down on row, you prick.
And we're releasing the opinion saying that you did it and then cab and I was like, okay
I'll go get drunk with squee and kill abortion. Sounds like a plan. So that's that's my stranger stranger things have
happened. Yeah, I Mean I guess
That's some high-level paranoid thinking from Mike Rains.
I was a 9-11 truther.
I believe the JFK was murdered by literally everybody.
My brain is full of worms.
I've never denied this.
You know what's really crazy about JFK?
Eventually you're going to find out that the one who killed JFK was JFK.
Oh yeah!
It was a crazy thing.
Yeah, the Red Dwarfs thing!
I remember that show.
That was wild.
Time loop?
Was it a looper situation?
Well, it was basically the idea was that Kennedy, by Kennedy living,
he actually caused World War Three and ended the world.
So JFK went back in time and killed JFK to get us on a different timeline
where World War Three didn't happen.
So it was for the good of everybody that he died.
So he killed himself to achieve it.
It prevents the giant cockroach character from winning.
Oh, okay.
Yes!
Crononauts reference!
Yes!
His name is Steggy!
Yeah, love a Crononauts reference.
I understand that reference.
Love a Crononauts reference.
That's a game I feel like a lot of people forgot about once board games got popular.
Yeah.
Crononauts was really, it was like peak Crononauts back in like 2004 or whatever, then... I feel like... Catan and Ticket to Ride, those games kicked off the Euro game revolution, and it was all downhill from there.
I feel like It, Flux, and Munchkin all can just vary so wildly in quality.
Like, yeah.
But, uh, yeah.
Well, great, great point, Sarge.
Screw you!
I tried to talk about what we were talking about!
It was relevant, it was germane to what we were talking about, you asshole!
What do you want?!
Yeah, fucking get him.
Get him, Sarge, get him!
Fuck you!
Nice.
It was on topic!
Yeah, but then the dead air came in!
Yeah, because I have two co-hosts who let it hang!
Also, Mike, you can ignore dead air.
You can edit it out, man.
Oh yeah, whatever.
You can edit out dead air, man.
Seamless segue into our mailbag segment, anyone?
Yeah.
Sounds like a plan.
Our listeners got questions, we got answers.
It's time for Q&A.
Yeah, just wanted to mention real quick before we dig into the mailbag that our boy Steve Bannon is going to go to jail for big boy crimes now, which is probably why he did that whole stupid thing about not testifying to the 1-6 committee and getting small time crime jails for that shit.
But yeah.
Small time crime.
Yeah, that was like two years, but now, on Thursday, he's turning himself over to authorities in New York for the build-a-wall fraud that he and his friends did that Trump pardoned him for on his way out the door.
Fraud of that scale is probably more than two years.
It's probably more than a slap on the wrist.
So, yeah, get fucked, Steve Bannon.
It's great.
Amanda Scatlin asks, are all QAnon followers MAGA and inversely, are all MAGA Q?
If not, could Trump re-truthing Q accounts pill some MAGAs?
All Q is MAGA, all MAGA is not Q. There is basically like a Russian nesting... It's a Russian nesting doll of embarrassment in that community, where like some MAGA think the QAnons embarrass them, and then the QAnon people think that the JFK truthers embarrass them, and it just goes on and on and on for like who's the unsavory piece of shit in the movement.
But what is true also is that QAnon desperately wants to obtain more MAGA share.
They are a cancer upon MAGA.
That's their prime pilling targets.
It's very hard for them to pill their liberal friends and family who all got vaccinated and they told those people they were going to die from the vaccine and all this other shit.
But if you have a MAGA relative and they're like, I'm not sure about this QAnon stuff.
It seems kind of weird to me.
That's the person you can work over and pill.
And the more dumb Q shit Trump is, is posting on truth social, the easier it is to pill them.
So that is absolutely a thing that's happening.
And it just makes the Republican party shittier and shittier by the day that more and more of their like primary voters are becoming, uh, like just brain worm infected idiots instead of, uh, like normal human beings.
It's like, What Biden was saying in his big speech where he was just like, hey, there's mainstream Republicans and then there's MAGA Republicans and like the MAGA Republicans... And then every member of the Republican Party demanded an apology.
You're saying that we're all a bunch of fucking... all a bunch of lunatic weirdos.
It's just like... I kind of went out of my way to say that it wasn't all of you, although secretly it is kind of all of you.
I mean, let's be real.
You're all pretty fascist.
I mean, it just seems that way.
You think in light of what we're seeing now, this is evidence that deplatforming Trump, like, worked?
Oh yeah!
I do think it, like, when he wasn't on Truth and Shit, he had way less, like, reach.
I mean, now, because people are just so desperate for that Trump hit, they're willing to...
Grab everything he says on Truth and post it on real social media platforms.
Like, back when he was doing his weird thing where it was like, from the office of the 45th president!
Like, his mailing list or his blog, like, that didn't have nearly the reach of, like, his Truth posting, because, like, Truth is tiny, but enough people, basically the right-wing, like, ecosystem, they understand, like, Beyond Truth to grab Trump's bullshit and then put it on real mainstream social media.
Like all the clips of Alex Jones on TikTok.
Right, exactly.
He's banned from everything, so.
Right, yeah.
So you gotta do a guerrilla marketing campaign for your banned orange daddy.
That's like the goal.
So yeah, I think that's the main thing is that Q is just trying to, like, ruin MAGA by making it more QAnon.
And it's this endless push of various cancers infecting various hosts.
Because when QAnon started, I mean, there were, like, shitheads who were anti-vax, but, like, they were, like, the fringe, and no one really cared.
And then COVID hit, and QAnon just full-blown anti-vax at that point.
Like, probably there were, like, Some level of idiots.
They're like, I'm not really sure about vaccines, but it wasn't a mainstream QAnon thing.
Q themselves barely ever talked about vaccines.
And then smash cut to a million years later, every QAnon promoter is like, I'm unvaccinated!
I'm a pure blood!
Oh, it's so great to not have the...
Covid death jab in my veins!
And it's just like, you didn't think that like two years ago.
All you wanted was Hillary and Obama cuffed and stuffed.
That was your dream.
But because you have parasites inside of parasites, like the worldview just keeps shifting and That's basically how you go like from like tiny anti-vaxxer community poisoning the QAnon community, poisoning the Republican Party.
It just, it never stops.
And because the Republican Party is a shitty, weak party that is trapped in a cult of personality around Trump, they just do whatever that dumb fucking asshole says.
So that's just how this works.
I mean.
It's super bad.
No way.
It's super great and we all love it.
For forever.
Yeah, Donald Trump is the sickest.
So thank you for the question.
MeBad asks, my boss recently stated that he fully believed that COVID was man-made and was used to reduce the elderly population to save on social security.
I haven't heard that one before.
Do you know the origins of it?
This sounds basically like a spin on the Lab League, like the idea that this was a bioweapon.
Basically, I think the main thing is, is this is kind of a retcon of what COVID did.
Because COVID hits and everyone's freaking out and we're trying to figure out, like, how fucking bad is it actually going to be?
And then when the actuary tables come out and you find out that, oh, if you're over 70 and you get this, you have a much better chance of dying, a much worse chance of dying, I should say, than people who are younger.
Young people can shake this off, old people can't.
And then, like, during the lockdowns, during the pre-vaccination periods, like, people were sarcastically calling it Boomer Remover and just being like, oh yeah, this is going to kill all the old people and now the youth will rise and the fucking baby boomers are finally going to get what's coming to them.
So, I feel like, in hindsight, you can, like, retcon the conspiracy theory, where you're like, well, old people died in larger numbers than young people as a result of this virus, and we have the whole lab leak thing, and the bioweapon thing, so, yeah, we can just, like, chop and dice this conspiracy and make it into a thing where it's like, oh yeah, they made it to kill the old people to stop the Social Security payments.
I mean, hey, I mean, You've got to make the government a bad guy somehow.
So make them the worst bad guy imaginable, like doing the most ineffective.
I mean, because even at the end of the day, why did the government make the vaccines then to save all the fucking old people?
I mean, oh, well, wait, they're killing them with it.
I forgot the COVID death jab.
Yeah, that's that's phase two of it.
So, yeah, even even though, again, death rates are plummeting and the vaccine works and all that shit, just just ignore reality.
Just just live the LARP.
Live your best LARP.
Also, I mean, I don't think anybody has to say it, but I will say it.
There has to be an easier way for an all-powerful cabal to cull the elderly population without releasing a virus that kills some percentage of everyone.
Oh yeah, the Cabal always does the most ineffective, dumb shit imaginable.
Couldn't they just keep using their weather machine to make it insanely hot or cold where large elderly populations are?
Just do it that way?
Yeah, just raise the sea levels and sink Florida into the ocean and boom!
A lot of old people gone that way.
You know what, I've talked myself into thinking that this elderly population control theory is great because it covers a lot of Crazy conspiracy basis if you need to like it's just like yeah you call it climate change.
I really know that it's the cabal using weather machines to kill the elderly or just like you call it COVID-19.
I call it a bioweapon to kill the elderly.
What the fuck do you have against the elderly?
No, I don't have a problem with the elderly, the government does.
That's why that is X to kill the elderly.
Everything in this world is X to kill the elderly.
You call it a serial strangler, I call it a way to call the elderly.
Exactly.
Exactly.
That's what it's all about.
Yeah, it's just, like, you have a conspiracy theory.
The world is a square peg.
You have a round hole.
You just make it fit.
You just bang it in there.
That's how this works.
Yeah, if you smash it hard enough, at some point you break the hole or the peg and somehow it gets through.
Yes.
That's just how you do it.
Don't ever once for a moment think that you're wrong.
No.
You, good sir, are right.
Conspiracy theory is always right.
What this exercise proves is that the truth is whatever you're willing to make it by force.
No, it's the children that are wrong.
Right!
100%!
So Reverend Xenofact asks, last week was a lot of fast food talk, so you're hired to design a Q-themed fast food restaurant.
What's on the menu?
Who are the mascots?
Tell us your cholesterol-fueled thoughts.
It's either all adrenochrome or no adrenochrome.
Like, I don't know which way we take this.
What I would create in my mind gets pretty close to Carl's Jr's so I'm just gonna say it's Carl's Jr.
Well, you can't have... Well, I'm going for... I want to get QAnon in the door.
Like, I'm marketing this to QAnon people.
I want them to give me their money.
So I can't do pizza, because that's obviously verboten.
Right, right.
So we have to have, like, MAGA-themed burgers and stuff like that on the menu.
We have to have a family meal that's valued at $17, because, oh my god, that would be catnip for them.
So...
Yeah, so lots of 17s, lots of burgers, lots of Trump love.
I think, oh, yeah, the mascots, like, basically just, like, as close as I can get to Donald Trump without getting hit with, like, a copyright infringement.
Like, instead of Burger King, it's the MAGA King is my mascot.
I think, I think all of that is, it's, it writes itself.
It's like those, uh, when, in, when I go to like the wrestling subreddit and there's like some, there's some dive bar that like literally all the burgers are named after like Hulk Hogan and Shawn Michaels and stuff.
And everyone's like, Oh, check out this like cool bar I found.
And it's like, yeah, they pandered to you and now they're getting free social, social media publicity, but with their wacky menu.
And it's like, you could just do that for QAnon people and boom.
Get the same thing and like ride that wave for a year or two and then get the hell out of that business because your clientele not going to be around for forever.
Because QAnon is depressing, miserable, and I mean, it's going to be around, but I don't know how much how much legs it actually has in that stretch.
Hopefully not.
It doesn't like enter the zeitgeist like under everything, but I mean, it's always been around, like we've talked about, just in other forms.
As Q. Who knows how much longer it's around as Q. Right.
I'm going to change my answer.
Medieval times, but Nazis.
Buzzer.
Laughter.
Oh, I think that hits all the proper notes.
I think that's a completely acceptable way to do it.
Yeah.
Dude, I hope you like Wurst.
I hope you like Wurst and Kraut.
Which I do, actually.
Cleodora Silvestri asks, Who is the more incompetent political candidate,
Dr. Oz or Ronny Watts?
Oh, I mean, it's always going to be Ron, because he never even had a TV platform or charisma or
anything to begin with.
Dr. Oz at least, like, had some vague inkling that, like, oh, you know, people like me.
I can do this, people like me, but...
Well, I think the argument here, the question really here is like, who is worse?
Someone who went the indie route to try to get fame, like Rebecca Black in Friday, or some horrifying concoction that was created by one of the studios, one of the mainstream record labels.
Basically, whatever the worst boy band was, or whatever the worst K-pop girl band, or whatever.
Basically, what's worse is someone who has no talent but tried to make it on their own, or some soulless corporate homogeny barfing forth this shit product and telling you, buy them!
They're hot young men who use Auto-Tune!
They are good!
You will listen to 98 Degrees and you will love it!
So I think that's like kind of the question in my mind is like, which of those two things?
Because as you just said, Gift Talk to Nicholas Shea.
Yeah!
He went on to do one thing, remember?
He was married to Jessica Simpson.
Way to go!
Way to go, those two!
And they had their show where she acted dumb and everyone was like, oh my god!
She's so dumb!
And it was like, yeah, that was the gimmick she was playing.
You walked right into it.
Congratulations.
And then she was like, actually, I'm not that dumb.
And they're just like, shut up, you dummy.
And she's like, that's fine, just keep calling me dumb.
The checks are rolling in.
I'm okay with it.
Until they stop.
I haven't heard of Jessica Simpson in a hot minute.
I don't know why, but a couple weeks ago on Twitter, I saw the Ashley Simpson SNL performance that ended her career.
Oh yeah, when she Billy Vanillied herself.
It was great.
Yes.
Yep.
Dude, you never go full Vanilli.
No.
Wow, from Vanilla Ice to Milli Vanilli.
Full circle.
Look at us.
Oh, we're doing it all.
We're living the dream.
Can we get any Arsenio Hall rhythmic arm motion and woofing in the chat?
Smash cut to Bill Clinton playing the saxophone.
Oh, yeah.
Dude, or like the most recent episode of In Living Color starring James Carrey.
Yes!
Is that right, Carrey?
Yes!
Ah!
I'm glad everything worked out great for that, guys.
There was no tragedy in that character arc.
Thanks, James.
You always kept it light and fluffy for us.
I like the Fly Girls.
Nothing ever happened with them.
Don't worry about it.
None of them ever went on to do anything else.
Anyway, moving on, there's a 90s Nostalgia Second.
Man, look at us.
We're so nostalgic for the 90s, we're just like, man, remember the 90s.
Hey, remember the 90s?
Oh, it's our podcast within a podcast, 90 Seconds on the 90s, where for 90 seconds we reminisce about the 90s.
If I had my way, it'd be 90 on 90s, and it would be 90 minutes of us talking about the 90s, and the Q&A would be like an interesting footnote that we talked about periodically.
Oh, that podcast would get real tired.
The two of you would just have to shove me in a locker, like, after five minutes, because I would just try to turn the entire conversation to garbage at all times, and that would be fucking boring for everybody else.
There would be suitable times for garbage to come up, and it wouldn't be throughout literally all of the 90s.
There's no reason to make that much music.
No, but it was 96, so I have to wait five... I basically have to be really quiet for, like, five years, and then I get to jump in.
Episode six, I started popping off.
It's crazy.
It's fucking wild.
But anyways, that was our tiny mailbag for the week, so that brings us to our final question always.
What are you guys looking forward to?
Ooh, I am looking forward to... I am finally done with all of my car nonsense.
I have had a lot going on for the last month and a half, and my current car died, and I got a new one finally, and it is...
Oh, it's so nice to be done with all that.
I'm desperately looking forward to finally just being done with all that nonsense.
Bro, fall is here!
That is what I am excited about.
Inevitably, people try to tell me that technically fall isn't until like, you know, the 22nd or whatever it is in September, and to them I say, Go fuck yourself, because where I live, it's fall right now.
It's like 65 degrees outside.
At night time, it's perfect hoodie weather.
It's quite nice.
The other night, I was on my friend's second floor deck, and it was 54 degrees outside.
It felt so nice.
I was like, oh, man.
There you go.
Give me my pumpkin spice latte and my Ugg boots, because it's fall, and I'm ready to get hella basic, because I love it.
Also, I'm friends with a bunch of people who love Halloween, like you read about, so they give off, they radiate second-hand enthusiasm during this season.
And then, Halloween season, right into Thanksgiving, which is nice, because, you know, an opportunity to see family, for people who dig that, or at the very least, to feast.
And then Christmas, it's hard to be bummed out during Christmas time.
I love a Christmas time.
And then the actual shittiness of winter hits.
Yeah, then you have like two months of winter, which isn't ideal.
What are you going to do?
You just had like six months of great times.
Right, exactly.
February, God, February, you're the worst.
It just needs a holiday.
It needs a better fucking holiday than Valentine's Day.
It just needs a holiday.
Well, dude, it's also the shortest month.
How did it get so short, like literally short shrift?
It's like they lose days and there's no good holiday in it.
Imagine, February would be popping off if Christmas was in it.
Actually, when Julius Caesar was rewriting the calendar in that time in Rome, February was considered unlucky, so that's why they shortened it.
They wanted to get through it as quickly as possible, because it sucked.
They just didn't like it.
It was a bad month.
Yeah, I don't have receipts for that, so for the time being I'm just gonna call you a nerd and give you a wedgie.
Oh, my bum!
Yes, fair, fair.
I'm gonna have solidarity with Sarge when it comes to fucking car shit, because now, as people know, my previous car died, and then the other car that I was using, I hit a doe with it, or the doe kamikazed itself into me, which was awesome, and not traumatizing in the slightest.
And after all that shit happened, now finally that vehicle is in the shop being repaired, so now I'm riding around in a sweet rental for some period of time until the other car is returned.
So yeah, it's been a hoot and a holler, cars are the fucking worst.
How's your rental?
Is it sick?
Is it a Cadillac Coupe DeVille?
My rental was literally a car shrouded in mystery.
It was the cheapest option imaginable.
It was so cheap, they wouldn't even show me what it was.
I had to literally show up.
And then they're like, here's your car.
Get out of here.
I was like, thanks.
Wonderful.
Great.
No problem.
So here's your car.
It's a genuine Boyota.
You're like, yes.
But besides that, Noyans, tomorrow night is foosball!
I get to watch actual tackle football that involves records being wins and losses going on, people's official tallies.
No more of this pre-season flim flam.
Nice, nice, nice.
Yep, so I will be earnestly watching the Rams of Los Angeles battling the Buffalo Bills, which I've never understood why a team in Buffalo is named after a cowboy, but that's neither here nor there.
All I care about, really, is that the game stays under 52 points, because I'm wagering on it, so yes.
Wow, illegal gambling and bragging about it.
So illegal.
It's fucking legal as shit!
It's totally legal!
It's totally below board, under-the-table gambling.
Massachusetts just legalized it!
They're fucking... Legalize it!
Yeah.
What if Massachusetts is going to re-legalize online poker?
I know!
What's so ridiculous is the DraftKings sports betting app.
You can now fucking play casino games on that app.
So you can literally just give your money to DraftKings by hitting buttons to play Cyber Blackjack and Cyber Craps and all that shit.
So they're just robbing you.
It's just legalized robbery on the app.
What about Cyberpunk?
Yeah.
What about cyberpunk?
I don't know.
That's it.
If you're going to do fucking cyber casinos where it's literally just a house taking people's money, fucking do online poker and let me play other people.
Let me actually play poker.
It's a real game.
It's not hopelessly rigged against me.
God damn it.
Let us have our internet poker back, you scum.
Well, there we go.
I managed to assist Mike in squeezing some poker into the podcast befitting his name.
Yes.
But on that note, enough vamping to try to get to 90 minutes.
We're just going to cut it slightly short this week because we had a smaller mailbag than normal.
Thank you guys for supporting the show by listening to us.
If you'd like to continue to support the show, you can give us a five-star review or you can engage with us on any of our various socials, which will be coming up here in just a second.
If you've got money and you'd like to support us, you can do so by visiting our Patreon at patreon.com slash PokerPolitics, where you can get over 40 hours of bonus content if you're subscribing to $5 and above, including a series we just started where we are doing a read-through of The Plot Against the King by Cash Patel.
And to really dagger our friend Frosty, I decided to give it an unfortunate name that we are sticking with, and that name is Cash Writes Everything Around Me, or QWEME.
So if you want to listen to our newest series, Queem, you could do so by visiting our Patreon at patreon.com slash PokerPolitics.
Thank you so much to everyone who is already part of the Beautifuler Baby Club.
We love ya!
Speaking of love, if you have money you don't want to give it to us, you can give it to love146.org.
They're an organization whose vision is the end of child trafficking and exploitation.
That's in their own words.
Seems like a pretty cool mission statement to us.
Or, you know, it's your money.
You can do a lot of good with it if you'd like to, or you can hoard it and, like, sleep on it like a dragon if you so choose.
But, you know, if you want to do good with it, might I suggest backing blue candidates in elections, especially ones that matter?
Go blue!
Go blue or go home.
It doesn't rhyme because it's accurate.
That's the way of the dim party.
Bland but accurate.
Let's go.
Bland but accurate!
Uh, that's right.
My own people.
I'm allowed to say it.
I'm one of them.
Uh, thank you so much to TJ Middleblatt-Effort for the use of our intro song.
He's not on social media, so, uh, go fuck yourself, I guess.
You'll never hear this.
Whatever.
Uh, thanks to our buddy Frosty, who I mentioned earlier.
You can find him...
On Twitter, at FrostyVO.
He does all of our voice acting work.
So, a bully for him.
Love you too, Frosty.
You can find the show on Twitter, at Hellworld.
H-E-L-L-W-Q-R-L-D.
You can find me, personally, on Twitter, at HellworldL, with Hellworld spelled the same way.
You can find Sarge, at SargeInHell.
And, of course, you can find Mike Rains, at PokerPolitics.
So, for another quote-unquote successful episode of the Advances in the Hellworld podcast, I mean, I guess as successful as most weeks, right?
All the boys are back in the saddle.
What a time to be alive.
I've been one of your hosts, The Mysterious L, joined by Sarge and our expert in all things QAnon crazy, Mr. Mike Rains.
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