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July 7, 2022 - Adventures in HellwQrld
01:36:27
Adventures in HellwQrld Episode #94: Georgia Going Wild

This week in HellwQrld Mike explains the Georgia Guidestones to L and Sarge. Trump edges towards an indictment , QAnon blames MKULTRA for a mass shooting and so much more. Get bonus content on PatreonSupport this show http://supporter.acast.com/hellwqrld. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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♪ Content Warning...
The Adventures in Hellworld podcast talks in depth about QAnon, which means we have to talk about all kinds of child abuse and violence against people.
Listener discretion advised.
Hello, everybody.
I am Mike Rains, a.k.a.
Poker and Politics, and welcome to another episode of Adventures in Hellworld.
I am joined, as always, by Sarge.
That's-a-me, Sarge.
Sargeo.
I didn't think that one through.
And missing his cues, and the mysterious L. Hello, my beautiful babies!
No, no, no, I didn't miss it, I just messed it up.
I flubbed it, I didn't miss it.
There was a good two seconds of dead air between, joined by always by Sarge, and then just- I believe what Sarge is saying is there's a difference between a miss and a swing and a miss.
Fair, I'll accept that.
One of these days, when we have merch, that could be one of our slogans for merch.
There's a difference between a miss and a swing and a miss.
I'll cotton to messing up, but I want to be specific in how I fucked up.
Which, you know, the whole world can learn a lesson from me.
And of course, our legendary bestseller, Put A Raisin On It.
That's going to be our first t-shirt.
Oh, I mean, everybody's been clamoring for The Raisin Marriage for a long time.
I mean, it's been referenced so many times.
Absolutely.
I mean, remember when they said it, like, Dick Clark's rockin' New Year's Eve that one time?
And we were like, what?
That's so crazy.
We really made it.
In the past, when Dick Clark was still alive.
Yes.
Yeah, and you know, I'm sure that there are people out there who'd just be like, wow, why is that where he went with that joke?
And that's a good question.
I had no idea.
Yeah.
Is it Dick Clark dead?
I don't even know if Dick Clark is still alive.
Is he alive to do a New Year's Rockin' Eve?
No, he's dead.
Oh, he's dead for sure.
Yeah.
I don't know.
I haven't really been keeping tabs on the guy, so.
Yeah.
I mean, if anything, a friend of the podcast, Kathy Griffin, should be our New Year's Eve raisin-quoting person.
So, Kathy, join the pod.
Where's that sash?
New Year's raisin.
Congratulations, Kathy Griffin, our honorary New Year's raisin.
Damn right.
We're just like, no, it's an honor.
We promise.
It's not even like, this means we like you or whatever.
It seems so disrespectful.
We'll have her on, then Bette Midler.
There'll be a...
Yeah, it'll be a rockin' time.
Actually, Bette Midler... Isn't Bette Midler in the middle of being, like, cancelled or whatever?
Didn't she say some shit?
Oh, yeah.
I was like, why is Bette Midler on the mind?
She's, yeah, she decided... She's a toxic casket.
If we want to keep our woke cards, we have to shun her.
Yeah, well, she decided to go turfy.
I literally have no idea what I pretty much just remembered from like the soup of headlines I scroll past that Bette Midler said or did something that was bad.
And I was just like, oh, oh no, they got to Bette.
Oh, I remember seeing, like, some QAnon promoter posted, like, her tweet about, like, women being erased by, like, birthing people and all that stuff.
And he was like, yes, yes, even Midler is coming to us soon.
Soon they will all be- Yeah, they finally did it.
They finally got Bette Midler.
Yes.
What a big fish.
I mean, is Bette Midler a bigger fish than Rob Schneider?
He was, like, one of their biggest and still is there now.
We've made fun of their Mount Rushmore of shitty celebrities many times on the podcast.
It's so funny.
It is nobody.
We don't need to go over it here, but boy, what a bunch of C-list losers.
Anyway, speaking of C-list losers, the people are here to listen to us.
A group of C-List losers chat about bullshit, so let's get into our greatest and best, newest, freshest segment of the show.
The Amuse-Bouche!
It's time for a light sampling of insanity.
Get ready for the Amuse-Bouche.
We're gonna make it to C-List.
I mean, the C-list for podcasters is effectively nothing.
Okay, fair.
If you're an S-list podcaster, congratulations, you were already famous from doing something else.
Even the king of podcasting, Joe Rogan.
Joe Rogan's got his start acting slash being a comedian slash doing UFC commentary.
The podcast thing was like his side, his side sidekick.
Yeah, that took off way more than anything else ever.
Do you own a Yeti microphone?
Congratulations on reaching the C-list of podcasting.
Oh, man.
Man, that massive barrier of entry of $75.
I mean, just absolutely punishing.
I mean, podcasting is a harsh mistress.
She needs the blood of currency to grow.
Yes.
Anyway, let's get booshin' it.
Good news.
The deep pockets of QAnon slash other conspiracy idiots continues to provide for some of our greatest historical figures.
Such as Queen of Canada slash The Earth, who was recently given a new RV.
Sarge, did you bring this one to the table?
Yeah, I saw it go around.
Who brought this one to the table?
I did, I saw it go around on Twitter.
One of this crazy woman's supporters just fully gave her a brand new fully stocked RV so she could tour Canada, and I don't imagine America will allow her to go in because I doubt she has a valid passport.
So she can spread the good word of how you don't have to pay your utilities or taxes anymore.
Because that's one of her big talking points.
The Canadian government is invalid.
If you have any bills like you owe to them, you don't actually owe them.
That's one of her big talking points.
But she's taking it on the road with her brand new RV.
She has good dudes.
First of all, this person's name is Romana DiDulo.
I don't know if I pronounced either or both of those correct, but that's how it's spelled.
Romana DiDulo.
And if you've been keeping track on the podcast, we mentioned her every now and again, especially just a few weeks ago when she upgraded herself from being demonstrably provable to be the Queen of Canada to now she went over the documents again and somehow came to the conclusion that now she's Queen of the World.
So she needs the RV to spread her message because wouldn't you be pissed off if you were the ruler of Earth and nobody knew it?
I'm pissed off our fans, however many there are of you, haven't given us an RV.
Come on, step it up.
We need to take this on the road.
I demand an RV!
Yeah, we need to do the road trip to the Sizzler in Florida.
That's where our first live pod's gonna be.
We can't fly there.
We need an RV.
And from what I'm reading on the article, it was a $65,000 RV that she got, and she's also crowdfunding for another RV, and she only wants cash.
No crypto for the next RV she's gonna get.
Bro, where are our whales?
They're out there.
They seem to be out there for Eddie, Tom, Dick, and Harry.
Conservative nut bar that has any sort of, like, wacky-do hook.
Where's our liberal whale to just feed us cash?
I want an RV!
Give me an RV!
I think you guys would be amazed how many podcasts you'd get if you gave us RV money.
This is shameless.
Yeah, actually, I don't really want the RV so much as I would love $60,000 in United States dollars.
I'm still waiting for Elon to get back to me with my one million United States dollars because he loves free speech so much.
We're still on that campaign.
But in the meantime, I'll happily take 65 grand.
65 large ones.
65 dimes.
Yeah, it's just so...
It's so wild!
I mean, like, Alex Jones is facing, like, inconceivable amounts of financial damages from the Sandy Hook trials, and he just had some right-wing sugar daddy give him eight million dollars in Bitcoin to try to... Yeah, what the effing S?
I would love some coin!
Give me coins!
Bit or otherwise, but preferably bit, because that's the one that's still worth the most.
Yeah, well you just have to give away all your morals and or be genuinely actually crazy and espouse just batshit lunatic nonsense that I guess some people want to hear and maybe you get enough of them and someone's gonna be end up being rich enough to give you an RV and RV money.
For legal reasons, this is all a joke.
We don't actually want you to give us an RV, although that would be dope.
Please give it to charity before you give us $60,000.
No way!
You can donate $60,000 to our Patreon, however you want to do it.
Just make a bunch of sock puppet accounts.
Just really, really go ham.
I felt so weird in that joke, where I was like, yeah, give us an RV, you bums.
And I was like, oh god, I'd feel so gross if someone gave us an RV.
Like it or not, I have dragged you kicking and screaming into part of the If It Isn't Hell World brand being our willingness to sell out.
Oh, yeah, I mean, absolutely.
It's one of the things that makes us us.
We just want cash.
I want to be comfortable more than almost anything.
Like, if I could choose world peace over being comfortable, then sure, world peace, because it sounds pretty comfortable anyway.
But, like, below world peace, there's not a lot before you hit comfortable.
Also, getting back on topic, who...
Who's going to be the one to break it to our poor queen that she is both female and non-white, and therefore, even if she somehow had a National Treasure-style document that proved her bloodline made her queen of the world, white dudes would just say no to that immediately, and it would never get beyond that.
I mean, she's fooled enough people that it's working.
She's got RV money, which is cool, but like she still has no power as Queen of Earth.
And she also does not look like especially young.
So she has a limited amount of time.
It's not like she could just like battle for 40 years and then like get like 10 or 20 years of just actually exercising her powers as Queen of the World.
She's on a clock.
Yeah.
She's got a clock until the New World Order sends the sniper to take her out because she's got the truth spreading it from her RV.
No, I was just talking about Age Mate.
I was talking about actual father time coming for her.
Like that movie It Follows, but it's just some anthropomorphized dude with a beard holding a clock or whatever.
Exactly.
I'm coming for everyone!
Anyway, so yeah.
I'll appeal for Queen of the World.
Good thing she has an RV, I guess.
We'll check back in with her if she does anything else relevant or funny.
Probably the second one.
She's never done anything relevant.
Like the last time when she was actually relevant, when she was demanding people execute doctors trying to vaccinate people, because that was a great thing that she did.
So there we go.
See?
She's already got crazy, like, queen vibes.
She just doesn't have any of the queen authority.
Nope.
Nor does she have dragons.
Those really help when you're a crazy queen.
The queen doesn't have a lot of authority either.
Okay, so we're just going to segue straight on into the next thing, which is incredibly tough for me to segue into because I don't actually know what the hell this is about.
So I have it written down here as Georgia Guidestone something something, as is my way when I don't know what we're discussing.
Mike, you brought this one to the table.
What the hell is a Georgia Guidestone?
Okay, so basically what happened was in 1979, some guy was like, hey, I would like to commission a statue, a thing.
And the guy that was sculpting it, or the guy that he was asking to do this, was like, This guy's an idiot.
This guy's a lunatic.
I don't want to do this for him.
So he quoted an absolutely ridiculous price for the construction of the Georgia Guidestones.
And then the person who claimed that they were the front man for this organization was like, your price is acceptable.
Right.
I will write the check for, uh, post haste.
And the guy was like, what the fuck?
Oh my God.
And then literally just the guy was like, okay, you gave me this mountain of money.
I got to build this shit for you that you requested.
And the Georgia Guidestones are basically like this weird American Stonehenge, where they're a bunch of just like, like, like rocks just straight up in the air that are just like thin smooth up in the air.
And they have And they basically have the Ten Commandments of the Georgia Guidestones that are written in all these different languages so that basically anyone on earth can read them and they read
Maintain humanity under 500 million people in perpetual balance with nature.
Guide reproduction wisely.
Improving fitness and diversity.
Unite humanity with a living new language.
Rule passion, faith, tradition, and all things with tempered reason.
It's a bunch of, like, hippy-dippy... Basically, you read it and you get the idea that these people thought a nuclear war was inevitable and that everyone was gonna be fucked up, but hopefully these Guidestones would survive and people would find them and be like, oh shit, this is what we should do in the post-apocalyptic, like, new age.
How to, like, better improve humanity.
And... Yeah, I mean, because that actually...
It sounds less terrible if you're going from the bottom up with it.
Like, if nuclear war has decimated the population of Earth down to, like, 3 million people, then you're just like, My brothers and sisters!
We will populate no more than 500 million!
We will not repeat the follies of our elders!
And then it's like, okay, but if you're trying to do that now, it's just like, all right, let's get it under 500 million.
First step, let's go kill like 8 billion people.
Everybody just grab a real sharp stick or whatever and do it for your country.
Right, exactly.
And because of that first edict of getting humanity into a rich, trim, tight half a billion, A lot of people have freaked out about the Georgia Guidestones as being a creation of the New World Order and the Illuminati and this edict to cull humanity and all this kind of stuff.
And the stones have been defaced with graffiti previously.
They've been a target of people.
And today, There was something that happened and a bunch of the Georgia Guidestones collapsed.
And whether this was an attack on the Georgia Guidestones or if something just happened to them and they fell over is not, like, at this moment, totally known.
But what is known is that, oh man alive, are all the conspiracy people so happy to have seen this.
And apparently around 4 a.m.
there was an explosion and so Probably someone did something to them.
But everyone's just like, yeah, take that New World Order we showed you!
Fuck the Illuminati!
Hashtag God wins!
And it's like, God let the Georgia Guidestones hang out there and chill for like 50 years.
I mean, until this person attacked them with some kind of...
Device.
And if you go into the Twitter timeline for Georgia Guidestones, it's all just, like, people, like, freaking out.
Like, the Georgia Guidestones have been destroyed.
Looks like people won't lay down and let themselves be mass murdered by the globalists.
Yeah, look at the Georgia Guidestones Wikipedia page here and the anonymity of the Guidestones author and their apparent advocacy for population control, eugenics and internationalism have made them the object of controversy and conspiracy theories.
And yeah, people are reporting... So if you're one of the people who's like able to be freaked out by this, how much rope Or I guess, like, how much road do you give a call to action?
Right?
These things have been up for 50 years!
If it was, like, the Cabal or whatever just being like, here are the commandments, reduce the population to 500 million.
Bro, we have been going the other way so hard.
We've put, like, we've put, like, three or four billion people up at the board in the past, like, 25 years or something crazy like that.
Like, we've just been populating Earth mad quick.
So...
You know, like, sorry, but, uh, you fucked it, mate.
And, like, so it's been up there for 50 years, and now, now is the time.
We finally need to put it in its place.
It might start working any minute now.
Yeah.
Oh, one thing I'm also seeing in the Georgia Guidestones timelines is people talking about CERN, because the Hadron Collider was activated, and oh, that's another thing that gets these people, that just gets them all freaked out, is just, oh no, you're gonna rip a hole in the fabric of space-time and destroy humanity with this shit!
Don't turn the Hadron Collider on, you weirdos, you're playing God!
And it's like, no, they're just, like, smashing an atom into an atom and seeing how... Well, see, but, like, okay, those people are still crazy.
Do not get me wrong.
I'm not advocating for those people with that sort of thinking.
But!
I do enjoy that sort of conspiracy theory.
I prefer sci-fi conspiracy theory to fantasy conspiracy theory, which also includes all religious stuff.
For obvious reasons.
Which is kind of the opposite of my taste in books and such, where I'm usually more of a fantasy guy than a sci-fi guy.
But I just love the idea that people are so afraid of not knowing what would happen if you were to make a thing go really fast and then knock it into another thing, that their first thought is just like, yo, that is definitely going to destroy all of reality.
It is going to rip a hole in space-time and destroy everything in the whole universe.
Because, in order for you to believe that, you would have to imagine that we're the only people to have ever existed in the universe because we're the only ones who ever got to technology this advanced.
Otherwise, wouldn't reality have already been destroyed?
Yeah.
I mean, they've just been watching a lot of Stranger Things, and they're like, oh, if you fire that up, we're getting monsters for sure.
Yeah, like the Hadron Collider thing definitely gets them going.
I hadn't heard of the Georgia Guidestones.
I'm doing quick reading here.
Yeah, lots of people are reporting a massive explosion and it looks like one of the stones was just fully destroyed and the inscriptions on them are, you know, I can see why they might upset some people.
Maybe each one of them houses some sort of incredible demigod superhuman, and the first one has just erupted out of its cocoon, and each one of them embodies one of these crazy ideals.
You're talking some JoJo shit here.
Hopefully the one that blew up was not the reduce the population to 500 million, otherwise we're gonna have some sort of unstoppable Homelander-style Superman flying around murdering everyone.
Of all the ways to go out, that would be, like, you're just looking over the horizon, and you just see, like, fire erupting from the sky as some single person flies around murdering everyone.
And you're just like, boy, I did not really- like, I mean, of all the ways to go, I wasn't expecting deranged superhuman to be the one that got there.
Yeah.
If the superhumans that destroyed us all are sealed in these big rocks in Georgia, yeah, that's just lame.
At least come from, like, Brazil or whatever.
Or maybe the entity that burst from it was the newly awakened superior form of Rod Walkins.
Does anyone have eyes on Rod Walkins?
Mike!
Where's Ron Watkins?
Where in the world is Ron Watkins?
Okay, that was not You've got to lean into it the full way.
You had to hit the notes on Rod Watkins there.
You couldn't just like... I knew what he was doing.
I was right there with him.
Me too!
I was there with him too, and then he just... He went from Rockapella to like the lead singer of Cake at the end there.
Oh, I can't sing at all.
That was tremendously good for what I was going for.
I know, but I'm just saying you've got to land the plane, that's all.
Where is he?
Yeah, so, um, we, at the moment, what Ron is claiming he is doing right now is hovering about Las Vegas, Nevada, just like gazing fire upon it from above.
My God, it's Ron Watkins!
Oh man, that would really suck, because I know a bunch of people playing in the main event of the World Series of Poker right now, and them all being annihilated by Ron Watkins' terrible wrath would be very unfortunate.
It'd be a terrible way for them to go out.
Huge ratings for ESPN, too, though.
I mean, it's just astronomical.
Yeah, them having the live feed of our first actual evil superhero attack.
That'd be awesome.
Okay, as fun as this alternate reality is, let's talk about regular reality.
So, Ron Watkins is sort of in the wind, right?
Yeah, so what is happening right now is we have the fact that the January 6th Committee has said they want to subpoena Ron Watkins.
They want to get to the bottom of this.
And I have been talking to people on the interwebs who have been following Mr. Ronnie Watts around, and there is chitter chatter out there that law enforcement does want to talk to this man about some stuff, and there's some things going on.
We'd like to have a discussion very much, please.
Yes.
And so with all these factors in play, but you have Ron Watkins running for Congress, so you'd think that he'd be doing stuff.
And he has not had any public-facing events in the past couple of weeks.
And at one point, someone from his campaign, when asked about when Ron was going to be doing anything, they were not actually fully sure that Ron was actually in America at the time when this conversation was being had.
Since that happened, we have now gotten a very weird series of videos on Ron's Telegram, where Ron is apparently in the desert, visiting Native American reservations, like, going door to door, trying to sway the hearts and minds of the Native Americans.
Still in Arizona?
Yeah, still in Arizona, but instead of, like, campaigning in, like, cities and places where you would have, like, An actual, like, massive population of people to, like, tap into.
He's going to these reservations.
And again, they're Native Americans' legal right to vote.
Ron is courting voters.
He's working here.
But this is a very strange timing for his, like, campaign that's on a shoestring budget to be going out trying to shake hands with a couple hundred people every so often.
He's going grassroots.
Yeah, but also I really don't think that his worldview and that of the worldview of Native Americans is things that are going to fit together like peanut butter and chocolate.
I just don't think that Ron's going to be like, hey, have you heard about the globalists?
Have you heard about the cabal and the Native Americans?
We're Native Americans.
They ran us off.
Yes, we've heard about them from the U.S.
government.
Right, you mean the fucking white people?
Them?
Yeah, we know of the evil people.
You don't need to fucking spin us a fairy tale about the blood drinking and everything.
We already got the gist of it.
And one of the videos involved a man who Ron claimed was his campaign manager named Orlando.
And Orlando is a retired gunnery sergeant and beekeeper.
And Orlando also supplies the honey that Jim Watkins sells on his website.
So, this is absolutely the most, like, well-run, like, just well-oiled political machine you could imagine, where, like, Ron's just basically filming vignettes in the desert, and his campaign doesn't really know where he is, they can't verify anything, and, um, What I wouldn't give for this to be like a Tiger King situation where Ron, in his own hubris, has hired like a film crew to follow him around to document all of this because he really believes that he's gonna win and so he's just like he wants to have documentation of it so there's just like this grim journal of all of this horrible failure.
Well, I mean, Doc Ansel from Tiger King is, like, super in jail now.
And, obviously, they started with the Tiger King being in jail.
Yeah, but I mean, once you have Guy in a jail, it's hard to... Doc Ansel would have had to have, like, you know...
Fucking like done some horrendous shit and done like more than try to hire a hitman crimes in order for the to clear
the bar That are our tiger II King set anyway. Yeah, we're in the
weeds We'll get back to Rod Watkins when we find out where the
fuck he is but for the time being we have
headlines for the week to discuss so Mike Get up on that headline bump
From the digital headlines to the digital front lines. It's cues in the news
Okay, so Thankfully we let's start with something lighter and fluffier
Relative what we will have to talk about later. Yeah Let's talk about an abundance of hot subpoena action that has apparently been happening.
Mike, just so the listeners know, I labeled this headline, Subpoena, I hardly know it.
Yeah, I know. It's such a great joke. I mean, I'm sure the listeners at home are really
I really busted up by it. So Mike, once you've once you've once you've unbusted your gut,
once your guts are back in your body, tell us who's getting the subpoena this week.
So this week, our headliners on the subpoena list are Jon Eastman, the guy who was basically
like the legal mastermind behind the plot to try to steal the election. So Lindsey Graham,
Who apparently was okay with Trump's attempts to influence these elections.
And of course, how could the list not include our boy Roots?
So Rudy Giuliani has found his way into this mess as well.
These people have all been subpoenaed.
By by Fannie Willis, the DA of Georgia.
And this goes into basically from what us lay people would know about is this stems from the phone call that Trump had with the Secretary of State of Georgia, Rathlisberger, Where Trump was like, hey, buddy!
He was like, hey, how about you just find me some votes, bud?
Surely there's some sweet Trump votes that you missed to just be rustled up.
It's not insanely illegal, right?
Just to tell you to find me some votes?
Like I'm a 1920s Chicago politician.
Yeah, and the best part about that phone call is the fact that at some point, at the start of it, Trump's like, look, man, when the truth comes out, you're going to find out I won by 400,000 votes.
When the truth comes out, I'm going to win big.
So, because we know the truth of my massive win is going to be released, like, soon, why don't you just find me 12,000 votes?
Which is such a small, Sam, small...
It's so insignificant compared to my actual crushing landslide victory, so this should not be a heavy lift for you, Mr. Republican Secretary of State, who can absolutely do this for me.
This is not a crime I'm asking you to commit on my behalf.
So, like, that phone call has sparked... Imagine if that was about money.
Like, so many people are just like... If you just think about it like money, it really brings into relief how crazy that is.
He's just like, just give me like $12,000.
Just give me like $12,000.
Look, I have $400,000 coming next week or whatever.
So I just need $12,000 right now.
But then in the future, I'll be rolling in it, baby.
Yeah, it is very much just the scammiest of scams.
Yeah, the fact that they feel like they've got enough to subpoena a senator means they've got a lot and they have a lot of questions.
Yeah, Lindsey's already said he's going to challenge the subpoena.
He's going to try to fight it.
He doesn't want to have to do this.
But while being a senator gives you certain privileges and certain ways to try to avoid having to testify before a grand jury, Eastman and Rudy, not so much.
They have no way of avoiding this.
Enjoy your contempt of court charges should you try to pull that shit, guys.
And one other really awesome little tidbit I learned from looking at this was that Georgia is one of the only states in the Union where the governor does not have the pardon power against a state crime.
The only people that can issue pardons is like the Georgia Parole Board, and they can only issue them after you've been convicted of the crime.
So this isn't like one of those things where Governor Kemp can be looking at the polls, see Stacey Abrams is getting a little too close to his heels, and suddenly he's just like, by the way, Trump didn't commit a crime.
I said so, boom, stamped it, nailed it.
Now come vote for me, MAGA folks.
Let's get in there and give me another term.
So there is no, like, there's no literal get out of jail free card for any of these people in that sense.
They would have to actually go through the whole rigmarole of the trial.
And then they would have to go like, find the families of the Georgia Parole Board and give them cushy jobs and get their part.
Do we think that, like, Rudy knows anything?
I feel like Rudy is constantly being targeted by stuff like this and so far nothing has come of it.
Or at least nothing has come of it in a while, right?
Am I missing something?
It feels like if Rudy had goods, we would have shook him down for him by now.
Yeah, with Trump not paying him.
Rudy and Trump's relationship is so bizarre.
I mean, it is just something I can't even wrap my head around.
Because I remember, like, Rudy one time, like, they were talking about, hey, what happens if Trump burns you?
And Rudy's like, oh, I got insurance.
I'm good.
Trump can't do that to me.
I'm Rudy.
I got pull in this joint.
You can't be messing with Rudy.
I'll bring you down with me, buddy.
And it's like, I don't think Trump feels that way about you.
I feel like Trump very much feels like he could leave you fucking hanging in the wind.
Just have to accept it.
Yeah, it sure does feel... I don't know.
It feels like Rudy has something, or he... I think he's, like, the ultimate stepping stone.
He's who you get and break down to get to the guy who actually has something.
I think he's just... I'm gonna get a little... I'm gonna get a little Bloon on here.
Pee tape.
Boom!
Rudy's got the pee tape.
Oh, that'd be the greatest thing in the world.
God, that would be.
What a twist.
Oh my god.
The day the P-Tape comes out, like, I'll cancel work and like, that's what we're doing.
Like... Yeah, I literally just like, I just literally run from my work and I just say something about like, my mom fell down a flight of stairs or something and I just like... I have to go watch the former president piss on a bed.
Command sex workers to do it.
I'm very unclear of the contents of this tape, but someone's peeing on something.
And it involves Trump, and he was very upset about it.
That was a weird thing that was a big subtext of the Mueller investigation was Trump repeatedly saying that the pee tape wasn't real and that it didn't exist, and he was very upset that people were talking about it.
Yeah, okay, fine.
Yeah, and I mean, it's like, it's like, I get the whole he doth protest too much thing, but at this point, I mean, with, I don't know, does Vladdy Daddy still think that Trump has any juice?
Is that why he isn't doing this?
Because I feel like if Putin just wanted to absolutely scorch Earth America, he should just release that thing now and just get the ball rolling, because that would be the height of comedy.
If he wanted, if he just wanted the chaos edge of this shit, Come on Vlad, do one good thing for us while you're having your secret service like fish your poop out of the toilets in Europe so no one can see how much cancer you have.
What an incredible Vlad move that would be.
I mean, it would justify his, like, genocide or war crimes or anything, but it would be a glorious day for me to wake up to, like, a billion missed messages on my social media because, you know, guess what we've all been watching on repeat?
It's the P-Tape.
Yeah, so this is like one of those things where this could this bring Trump down like this looks like an honest effort to do something because a grand journey has been impaneled and people that obviously don't want to talk to this grand jury are now being like ordered to talk to it and Again, like, the official Adventures in Hellworld stance on a Trump indictment slash Trump conviction is we'll believe it when we see it, but... Oh yeah, that is the long-standing belief.
It's just... Alright.
But hey, I mean, anything, I forget who it was, but I made a bet.
I had someone give me like 10 to 1 odds on a bet.
So I was like, I will bet 10 bucks and you will owe me 100 if Trump ever sees the inside of a jail.
And they were like, you got it.
And I was like, boom.
So I'm getting ever closer on my wager here.
If I had made this wager through DraftKings, they would be offering me $10.50 right now to cash out.
They would be like, We're willing to buy you out for a crisp extra 50 cents if you're willing to do it.
So I'd be like, okay, maybe.
Tempting, tempting.
I could use a pack of gum.
It's possible.
I got the deal or no deal shit going.
The banker offers you $11.
Oh God, and then I triumphantly scream, no deal, and then immediately knock out all the big cases.
That show is just schadenfreude in television form for me.
There's nothing.
I'm just, I'm a terrible human being, but I'm just, I'm just the person that like looks at that big deal and I'm like, take it, you idiot, take it.
And then they're just like, the million's in my case, Howie!
Wham, they lose it all.
And I'm just like, should've taken it.
Told you.
Didn't know what you were thinking.
I think he's lying.
It's just math.
That was why I stopped really caring about Taylor Nottel.
It's because at the end of the day, they're just dressing up a bunch of math.
Yes!
That's all it is.
How dare you trick me into thinking critically.
You're just like, okay, here's a little bit of math, and yep, it's time to cash out here.
The odds are slipping away from us.
This is enough.
We've done it.
Math.
And then you high-five Howie Mandel, and then he, like, drops his hands in acid because he's a germaphobe or whatever.
Yes.
Is that him, or is that the guy from Double Dare?
No, it's Howie.
Howie's a germaphobe.
They play it up a lot on America's Got Talent, too.
Like, people touch him, and he's like, Oh no!
A human being I don't like has touched me!
I'm probably gonna die of diseases now!
So yeah.
Which is great, because if he actually is a germaphobe, it's just like, let's...
Let's take this guy's mental health problem and really just smash it.
Yuck it up.
Yeah, it's really great.
Ah, look at this debilitating thing.
Got him.
Speaking of making fun of mental health problems, we've got MKUltra on the docket here.
What's going on with that?
Oh yeah, okay.
But before I throw it over to Mike to fill us in on this, so inevitably we were going to have to talk about this headline at some point.
We're going to try to avoid discussing the shooter's name.
But yeah, there was the event at Highland Park, is the name of that place?
Highland Park, it's a suburb of Chicago.
And, you know, small silver lining for our show.
Normally, this is the part where we're just like, and of course, the person who did this horrible thing left by this horrible manifesto, so let's see how Aryan they thought they were, or whatever.
This time around, no.
Of course, QAnon has a take, but luckily we don't have to get into the actual, like, crime that much.
So that being said, Mike, what's going on with MKUltra this week?
Our old friend, MKUltra.
It's been a while.
Yes.
Oh, it's been, it's been a while, but finally, uh, dad, finally daddy has come home and daddy in this case being in the form of MKUltra.
So there was this, uh, there was a smash shooting as we talked about and the shooter, basically the first thing that happens on social media when anything like this happens is everyone tries to blame everybody else.
This guy was left wing.
This guy was right wing, yada, yada.
And.
Eventually, it came out that the shooter had attended some Trump rallies.
There's a photo of him with a Trump flag.
And this was just part of the whole deal with this person.
Also, can I stop you right there for a moment?
Is that really an argument?
When was the last time one of these crimes was perpetrated by somebody who was, like, a vowed liberal?
What if somebody's just like, yeah, this is to stick it to the man, or whatever.
Well, I mean, the goal for the racists is that they're hoping that it's a Muslim extremist, basically, is that's their main goal, is that it's an anti-white, anti-Christian, like, because, again, as you just said, there hasn't been any, like, actual, like, leftists who've, like, lost their minds and their manifesto is like, I had to, like, show the world the evil of all this so that maybe one day we could get Medicare for all and actually try to, like, Fix climate change and all that kind of stuff.
That doesn't happen.
When these people are talking about leftist mass shooters, they're just talking about people that are not their group, basically.
Anyone who isn't a right-winger, Christian, nationalist, psychopath.
They just wanted to not be them.
And since this guy did have enough on him where he could be pegged as a Trump supporter, immediately when that happens, QAnon busts out their Yu-Gi-Oh!
trap card in the form of MK Ultra.
And anyone that is- To play around MK Ultra.
If your opponent looks defenseless, except for that one face down card, like 100% of the time,
it's going to be MK Ultra.
You got to play around it.
Yes, exactly.
Exactly.
I mean, sometimes you just got to eat the MK Ultra.
You know they got it.
You gotta get it out of their hand.
Yeah, you gotta do something.
You gotta get.
You gotta get that out of the way so then you can get your rest of your board set up so you can finally win the game.
Exactly.
So what happened here was immediately after more information came out about this guy, MKUltra has been trending for the past two days on Twitter because that's the fallback.
That's the default position of all these people.
Is that, oh, you can blame us for this shooting?
Well, no, you actually can't because the shooter wasn't who they appear to be.
They were actually an MKUltra sleeper agent that did this because they were given the activation code to turn them into a mass shooter.
For the record, correct me if I'm wrong, is it like all the stuff that's going on with Eleven in that Stranger Things show?
MK-Ultra related?
It's based on, it's inspired by.
It's like an MK-Ultra project or whatever?
Oh my god, cross-synergy?
No wonder they decided to play MK-Ultra this turn.
Synergy bonus and everything, so lucky.
Yeah, it combos so well with pop culture references.
Yeah, so this is and for those of you who don't exactly know what MKUltra is it was this pretty much it was this dumb idea by the CIA that maybe they could unlock a truth serum they could find a drug that would like make you tell the truth or could do Mind-expanding sort of things.
And there was this thought, and it could have been disinformation by the Russians or whatever that the Russians were looking into it.
They were like, oh shit, if the Russians can get psychics, we better get our own psychics.
And it eventually led to basically just people drugging people with LSD without their consent.
And it was really shitty and terrible.
And then it got exposed.
By our liberal democracy being the way we run our government, and there were congressional hearings, and then eventually a little-known figure in history, President Ford, signed an executive order saying, yo, intelligence agencies, you can't drug people without their consent.
So, no, stop that.
Trump no, no, no deep state evil president since Ford has revoked that executive order. So it's still on the books,
the law of the land of America in America as you get do that
shit. But of course, reality has no place in this conspiracy
theory. So even though MK ultra ended in the 1970s, much like
the Georgia Guidestones, it's been around for 50 years.
Yeah, we're never going wrong. And what and like the deep state
has an endless supply of these sleeper agents. And the spinoff from this terrible concept of MK ultra is what how they're
doing it is after these mass shootings happen, on
Oftentimes the shooter was troubled.
They were someone that people knew had mental health issues and this this put them in contact with the mental health services in their community and people trying to help them figure it out.
And now QAnon has created this narrative that the therapists are the part of the Deep State.
The therapist doesn't try to help you, they radicalize you.
The therapist is the one who pushes you over the edge and turns you from someone with just mental illness into a weapon ready to be used by the Deep State.
The therapist is the one who has the little book that's got your like 27 word passphrase that unlocks your Winter Soldier powers.
Everyone's all drugged up and like they're ready to be activated.
Yeah.
MKUltra did a ton of damage, but it did way more damage on just like, now it's this shitty talking point that all these, uh, uh, Dumb Dumbs on the right get to use and say, oh, he wasn't actually racist.
He didn't actually believe what we believe.
He was MKUltra.
Again, but this is like science fiction conspiracy theory stuff, so it could just be like, yeah, the horrible scientists, they thought all their gene therapy experiments were botched, but it turns out that Like, whatever they mucked around with just came out two generations later, so now you've got, like, Gen Z kids with psychic powers!
That's why TikTok's on the rise.
It's all MKUltra.
And they all really have, like, they all really, they just really love the 80s, guys.
Just like you.
Just like you, Target Demographic.
You love the 80s, so do these kids!
The 80s is so cool, am I right?
I guess.
I mean, what little I remember of them was fine.
It was fine.
I love how strong that nostalgia is still just bumping.
It feels like 80s nostalgia has been going for a while, and every year I feel like, this is gonna have to start to wind down at some point, right?
And then fuck no, Stranger Things comes out and all of a sudden Kate Bush is like on the top of the charts again.
For the first time in like 30 years, same song.
It's like, what is going on?
Yeah, and then we've got all, like, uh, Master of Puppets is trending because of freaking, uh, what's it?
And again, Kate Bush, it's all because of Stranger Things, Stranger Things, Eleven, MKUltra, boop, it's all related.
Look at all that synergy, man.
What a time to be alive, conspiracy theorists, who's into scientific weird stuff.
Cern is mucking about.
80s nostalgia is really back in vogue.
You get to believe in MKUltra bullshit again.
The Russians could be the bad guys if you want them to be.
Or the good guys.
Oh yeah, absolutely.
They're on Schrodinger's team.
Schrodinger's Putin, both villain and hero at the same time.
Anyway, see, we need to talk about mostly all the crazy stuff without having to talk about the rest of the horrible reality shit.
You know what?
I'm tired of doing that.
We've been doing that a lot these days.
A lot.
Seems like every other week.
Okay, so let's talk about... Let's get back to... We're doing a light, fluffy sandwich, because the next one is light and fluffy relative to the rest of the stuff, too.
Let's talk about the new Q. Q's back, baby!
See?
He was and ever was.
He's still back.
Yeah, and Q is back in the way that Q always was back in the day, in the sense that saving the world is a part-time job.
So after those intense, powerful 5 Q drops that Q made in his glorious return, our boy Dungot Plum tuckered out.
It's time for sleepy times.
So Q made those quick three posts on the 24th of June.
Then they made one post on the 25th.
Took a few days off and made one post on June 29th and that was it.
been offline for a week now.
Oh, man.
So yeah, once again, on Independence Day, huh, Q?
Independence Day and Q's asleep at the wheel.
It's unreal.
What odds do you give me that Q doesn't post again for at least two months?
I would say that's very likely.
I mean, I feel like if Hugh's gonna, if, because again, Jim Watkins has no fucking idea what he's doing.
If Hugh posts again and actually gets like the itch to start doing this stuff, it's going to be closer to the midterms, because again, They think that it's likely the Republicans are going to win the midterms, and therefore, they want to be in on the win.
So, just going dark for a couple months, then showing up when everyone's getting all hyped up and ready, because we're going to take back Congress, we're going to hit them with the red wave, and yargle-bargle, and all that kind of stuff.
I think that's way more likely what the person behind Q, a.k.a.
Jim Watkins, right now would be thinking.
Now, what happened last night was someone started posting what appeared to be Q-drops.
What do you mean appeared to be?
Tripcode, etc.
They're Q-drops, they're Q-drops.
We all know it.
Right, exactly.
So it did have the tripcode.
Or what appeared to be the trip code, and it said, we can shut you down whenever we CHOOSE, chooses in all capital letters, and then Q. And then they did it again, replying to some other messages, and they said, confirmed, do not fuck with us, Q. And I don't think Q's ever worked blue before.
Yeah, Q doesn't curse.
I, you know, I really respected that about his work.
Will Smith didn't need to curse and neither did Q. Right.
I knew Will Smith got around to cursing.
Yeah, he sure did.
And assault.
Yeah.
Yes, yes.
So, um, what people noticed about these fake, uh, Q-drops was that they weren't real Q-drops.
Yes, yeah.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Fake.
Spoiler warning.
Yeah, was that they were putting the trip code in with the username, they were just
copying and pasting the trip code to make it look like it was the trip code, but it
wasn't.
It was just like, it was just a way to fake making it look like you had the trip code
up.
And the thing about this that was so funny was if you had any idea what was going on, you'd be like, oh, this guy is just using this dumb copy paste to make it look like he's Q, but these are not real drops.
Jim Watkins has no idea what's going on.
All he knows is that he sees what appear to be Q-drops from the account.
Someone's posting as Q, but that's me!
Right, yeah, exactly, exactly.
So, when I'm Q...
...
So, Jim sees this and he doesn't put two and two together
to figure out that it's a fake troll job and...
And in response to these posts, he locks down 8kun and puts it into read-only mode.
He literally locked the entire site down where nobody could post to the boards.
So he just shut the whole site down once he saw the fake Q drops and he thought Q had been hacked.
And then he's like, oh shit, that's my cash cow.
I can't be having that being run by somebody else.
So he freaks out, locks the whole thing down, does all this dumb stuff, and then, eventually, one thing leads to another, and then everyone figures out, oh, it was just a troll job, it was just a cheeky jape, and then everything goes business back to normal.
But it's that!
It's the fact that it's just like, haha, routine maintenance, am I right, guys?
Yeah!
Exactly, exactly.
Oh yeah.
Had this on the books for a long time.
was planning to do this maintenance.
We're good, we're good.
Maintenance is fine.
How many times does Toto have to pull the curtain away and show that it's fucking old man Watkins
before people get it?
Like, how many times do we have to do this where it's just like, oh hey, knock it off, little dog.
Like, it's not me.
Yeah, Jim was posting on Telegram in response to the fake drives and he said, we are working on it.
We are having some attacking going on.
We're having some attacking?
Yes.
I prefer it when we weren't having any attacking.
Yeah, I'm a big fan of not the attacking.
What?
It turns out he wasn't having any attacking at all!
It was just somebody trolling!
He was having a trolling!
On 18?
Never.
And as someone pointed out, the hashtag that they used was all in bold, and hashtags are not bolded on 8kun.
So it's really obvious this is just a copy-paste job, and that if Jim even had a modicum of tech savvy when it comes to how 8kun works, he could have rolled his eyes and just ignored it.
Because he doesn't know anything about anything.
He immediately goes into a full-blown panic and just, again, gives away the game.
Like, he's just admitting... Also, how fast did he have to panic?
Because, like, some Q devout would have to just be, like, scrutinizing that trip code and just give up the game, like, immediately, right?
It would be, like, the second comment to it would just be somebody like, LOL, your trip code is just copy-pasted.
This isn't Q. Shut up, nerd, or whatever.
I like where we go when we go all, but you're a fraud, Mike, you know?
But, you know, I guess he just panicked real fast.
He got big boy scared.
Yes!
What could have happened to anybody?
I'm going to have to work big boy scared into my life now.
That's a great term.
Yeah, man, it's just... How many times do we have to teach you this lesson, old man?
I'm sure we'll have time to get back to this.
We're running short on headline time and we didn't get a chance to get into it last week, so I'm going to pull the plug on the new Q stuff for now and say, speaking of having and attacking, let's talk about Donald Trump and his tiny thrashing hands.
Grasping, desperately trying to get to the wheel of his vehicle.
So we didn't get a lot of time to discuss the actual testimony during our surprise bonus episode of the January 6 hearings.
The gripping surprise bonus episode that nobody knew was going to go down.
And the funniest headline among them being Donald Trump's alleged Grand Theft Auto.
So, Mike, give us the breakdown of Trump's tiny thrashing.
Yes.
The thing is that Hutchinson's testimony touched on so many things about the coordination of it, about Meadows and talking to Trump about what was going on and how things were going to be bad.
But the right wing tried to jump on this one bit of testimony, which was that she said, That she had heard from sources that when he was in the limo on 1-6 that he wanted to go to the Capitol.
He wanted the Secret Service to drive him to the Capitol and then he would, like, basically, like, lead the charge.
And the Secret Service was like, go.
Yeah.
After he was told no, was it the actual quote from him?
Like, I'm the fucking president of the United States.
Yeah.
Like a goddamn action movie.
I'm the fucking president.
Yeah, he's like, I'm the fucking president!
Take me to the Capitol!
We're like, you're the president for two more weeks, buddy.
You're a short timer.
We don't have to be listening to you.
I love how that's how little authority that man has in reality.
He's just like, I'm the fucking president of the United States.
You do what I say.
And they're just like, no.
Are you?
But I said the line.
I did the thing.
They're just like, you don't have anything to back that up, sir.
You're old and your hands are quick as well.
You would have to try to dangerously grab this wheel from my very hands to get me to bring you to the Capitol.
Anyway, so Mike, what happened then?
So the thing was is that this guy, Ontario, who was basically a Secret Service agent who was in Trump's inner circle and then managed to become part of his staff.
What almost assuredly happened was that guy got to reporters and started talking anonymously and was just kind of like, Hey, like no one ever grabbed the steering wheel and he didn't like assault the secret service agents.
That's all a bunch of like nonsense.
And reporters being a bunch of dumb stenographers ran with these claims.
And then we had this whole like Hutchinson testimony debunked, like, like all her lies exposed and Again, the important shit that she was talking about was Trump was mad that there wasn't a big enough crowd in front of him and that they were using metal detectors to keep the crowd screened.
And Trump was like, I don't give a fuck if they got guns on them or not.
They're not here to harm me.
Get the metal detectors out of the way.
I want more people in the line of the camera for my shot.
And like the literally the fact that Trump was like, I don't care if they're armed.
I, that might even be better for me.
So like that level of the testimony, super bad.
Can't contradict that.
But we have this guy who was part of the secret service, who is now trying to say that, Oh, Trump merely lunged for the wheel.
He didn't get his tiny hands on the wheel.
Trump merely attempted to fight his secret service agent.
He didn't actually succeed to do that.
And.
It was a very gentlemanly lunge.
What's a little lunging between friends?
I mean, what's it like to make an attempt to get something that a friend of yours has?
It's just a common jape.
It's important to note, like, she testified she was told this.
She's very clear she did not witness this herself.
Right, oh yeah, because that was their other thing they were saying.
It was like, it's all hearsay!
Hearsay testimony!
It's like, hearsay is a totally different thing.
This isn't a court of law.
They can take any testimony they want.
Fuck off.
So that little fun attempt at deflecting everything she said was also in the mix.
Didn't some footage come to light of the day in question?
Yes!
At the very least, there was a small amount of thrashing.
It seems pretty far away.
My read of the footage was equal chances that he's just thrashing in his own seat because he's angry.
I mean, you can't even write that.
won't get rid of the metal detectors or bring them to the Capitol.
So he's just throwing a fucking hissy fit.
He's just scratching around in his own chair just being like,
Yeah, I'm the president!
I'm the president, goddammit!
I mean, you can't even write that.
If you saw that in a movie, you'd be like, that's overblown.
Yeah, and the thing about it is, again, that scene, like it just it makes Trump such a weak loser that they had
to change it in the QAnon world.
So many people were like, oh, they love what's being said about Trump.
And they had all these memes of Trump driving the limo with a gun in his hand.
But like, they know that that didn't happen, right?
What actually happened was nothing.
Trump's head superimposed over the protagonist, like whipping everybody's ass, and it's like...
But like, they know that that didn't happen, right?
What actually happened was nothing.
Nothing happened.
Right.
Trump ineffectually whined and the Secret Service told him to fuck off.
That's exactly what happened.
I remember- It's equally likely that Donald Trump just went, do these things at the president, and the Secret Service agent said no, and then Donald Trump started thrashing around in his seat so that the Secret Service agent just like- Oh yeah!
Just hit this little button that raises the screen between the two, like a limo.
Right.
And then they said when he got back to the White House, he threw his food at the wall and got ketchup everywhere because he had a little pout because he didn't want his dino nugs.
Yeah.
Everything about it makes him look so weak and pathetic.
I remember Obama talking about how the Secret Service is just the shit you deal with when you're president.
There was this one time where they landed Air Force One somewhere and the The place Obama was gonna speak was like a quarter mile away, and Obama was like, hey, can we just walk to the place?
And they were like, no, get in the giant tank limo, we drive you there.
And Obama was like, fine, fuck it, whatever.
So it's like, the Secret Service is in the habit of telling presidents what kind of things they're going to be doing, because after that whole JFK thing, they don't want that to happen again.
So, yeah.
Yeah, after that and the Reagan thing, Yeah, exactly.
How dare you not make sure Reagan dies?
Your job was to make sure Reagan died.
Well, that was a very near thing, because they almost took him to the White House.
If they'd actually taken him to the White House and not the hospital, he would have died.
But it was at the last minute, because they were like, go to the White House!
And at the last minute, a Secret Service agent saw blood coming out of Reagan's mouth.
And then he was like, oh shit, no!
Get him to the hospital instead!
He's been hit!
And it was like... God damn it, that agent.
You almost saved us from Reagan.
He's only one of the most damaging presidents before Trump.
That would have been real weird if, like, Reagan had only... Because Reagan... That was, like, two months into his term.
Like, Reagan would have been a weird footnote in history had he been assassinated, because that was March 30th, and he got sworn in January 20th.
Yeah, he was... He barely got his ass on the chair before he got shot.
I mean, that would have been wild.
This final headline of ours has gone off the rails, I'm calling it.
The rails.
We've gone off of them.
Take us back on!
We have to get back to our mailbag at the very least because the headline segment's already run long.
So let's stop talking about Trump's tiny feeble hands and start answering our questions burning... our questions... our listeners burning questions.
Our listeners got questions, we got answers.
It's time for Q and A.
Our question's burning, listeners.
Let's go.
Yes.
Our first listener who is currently immolated is the NerdyHorrorFan, and they ask, with all the various info flying around and people arguing about it, what is the Hellworld team's view on whether the July 4th shooter in Chicago was a Trump supporter or Antifa or neither?
Seems like many fake social media profiles of him made by various political affiliations.
We're probably going to wait until more info comes out.
But yeah, right now it looks again, it looks like the actual thing that he was politically was someone who had a Trump flag and went to Trump rallies.
But the subculture he was in was actually like this very weird Nihilistic, accelerationist sort of community.
If you go on any social media platform and type in, like, schizo post or schizo, you get all these hits because it's this very weird genre of just trying to basically freak yourself out.
Don't do that, though.
Why would you do that?
Don't look at those things.
No.
But I'm just saying, like, this is, like... Do as you say, not as we do.
Right.
Yeah, yeah.
But, like, this is... The thing is, is, like, the actual problem is more, like, that community, that subculture.
Like, if you want to say, oh, the Trump flag, Trump supporter, that's, like, fine to score cheap political points and to, like, throw some stones at your enemies.
And, again, that's why QAnon's, like, screaming MKUltra.
But actually, like, like the people actually like combating extremism and dealing with this kind of stuff, like they're
getting into the weeds on this stuff.
And they're like, the, the Trump layer is just the top layer of the onion.
There's so much more horrible shit beneath that.
I think it's safe to say he was radicalized and right, very right leaning.
How much he actually believed in Trump is, we have no way of
knowing, but he is taking the- Yeah, the only thing I'm willing to commit to is that boy ain't no progressive liberal.
I'm just going to tell you that right now.
Yeah, yeah.
That was not how that person thought about stuff.
It's just not, it's a fact.
Fact!
Vroomi Rog, I dare you!
Okay, so thank you for the question.
Next up is Cleodora Silvestri with, again, an incredibly long name, but the only word I can see here is messing.
So Q believes that they are in a virtual world hunting for Easter eggs that will unlock the truth and let them take control of the world as soon as everyone sees their triumph.
How did they manage to rip off Ready Player One and make it so much worse than the original?
Oh, Ready Player One ripped off a million other things, so that's how.
Look, this is maybe my favorite listener question ever, if only because I love an opportunity to dunk on Ready Player One.
Oh boy.
I didn't know this question was coming up when I was already doing my 80s nostalgia earlier, so guess what?
It's time for the RUN FACTS!
Heh heh heh!
Pew pew pew! Pew pew pew!
Uh, yeah.
I mean, first of all, is QAnon worse than Ready Player One?
Ready Player One sucks plenty hard already.
It's incredibly bad in a number of different ways.
Ready Player One hasn't killed anyone yet.
I mean, hasn't it though?
That we know of.
That we know of.
I'm not sure that you can definitively say that.
I feel like some people... QAnon's worse in that we know it's killed several people.
I feel like maybe Ready Player One has caused a number of accidental deaths in the form of people rolling their eyes so hard that it literally kills them.
The strain it puts on the brain is just intense.
I mean, I'm with you.
I'm willing to say that the author of Ready Player One is one of history's greatest monsters.
But the QAnon thing, again, like, when QAnon is sort of playing around at this sort of, you know, like, digital warfare, like, spy novel stuff, that's when QAnon is at its best and its coolest and its most interesting and therefore most fun to dunk on.
But, like, the problem is, like, a lot slash all conspiracy theories, at some point it all, like, ends up tying into weird religious stuff.
That stuff is so boring.
I'm so tired of making fun of religion.
Like, it's just so easy.
It sucks so hard, and it's been that way for literally thousands of years.
There's nothing any of us can do to stop it.
We just have to sit there and let it happen.
Yeah.
I do think it's very interesting though, the comparison that like, that's the whole point
of Ready Player One is if you unlock the Easter eggs, you win everything.
And that's like QAnon's whole life is just being addicted to decoding, just being addicted
to trying to figure out what is the secret meaning of it all.
And it's like, you know, yo, you should try to drive it backwards.
There's a literal trillion dollars on the line.
Maybe you're the one maverick who should just be like, maybe the trick is to go backwards.
It's like, oh shit, I figured it out.
Yeah, we've been dunking on that for years.
Oh, man.
Yeah, well, hey, guess what?
I told you, I was gleefully happy I got to dunk on Ready Player One because they took a shitty book and somehow made it into an even worse movie.
Oh, no, I assure you that the movie's better than the book.
I mean, I haven't read the book, nor will I ever read the book, but I do know that at the very least, like, the games that they have to play are much less believable In the movie.
In the movie, they made them more visually appealing because that's what Steven Spielberg does, but they don't make a lot of sense.
Yeah, yeah.
They do old, they do old lame nonsense.
And in this one, it's like, how about a cool car race instead?
It's like, I'm with you.
But then they're just like, we have to think of like the gimmick that makes our, the protagonist smarter than everyone.
And somebody was just like, what if he's the first person to ever try going backwards?
It's just like, have you guys ever seen a real life speed running video?
Like the barrier for weird thing you could do to break a game, to solve a puzzle for a trillion dollars is like insanely high.
Yeah, that's some day one stuff.
Literally the first race, someone would have been like, well, I'm just going to drive backwards.
I'm just going to drive backwards while pausing and unpausing as fast as I can to see if I can barrier skip backwards through the geometry and land into the negative sphere or whatever.
You know what I mean?
It's just so nonsensical.
Anyway, Doug, you already player one over, but thank you for the opportunity.
Love to do it.
Paste, who, again, I may be saying your name wrong, I think you've yelled at me before about that, and I apologize, says, Since L outed himself as a monster with the cake question last week, we go with something easier.
He is a monster.
What are y'all's favorite movie and favorite series of all time?
Don't disappoint me this time, my beautiful friend.
Hashtag Ask L Anything.
That's such a hard question to answer.
It changes.
First of all, my take on cake is perfectly reasonable.
It's wrong.
Pie is just so much better than cake.
It is unreal how much better pie is than cake.
It's okay for you to be wrong.
That doesn't make you a bad person.
Deliver unto me a savory cake.
Show me a savory cake.
Why would you want that?
Exactly.
That's why I said pie works sweet or savory.
It's just like the ideal form for food.
That's why every culture is a different form of a pie.
It's all right for you to be wrong.
You just need to be okay with that.
What was the question again?
Our favorite series and book?
Favorite series and movie.
Favorite series and movie.
I don't know if I have a number one favorite movie because it depends on the genre or whatever.
The one that I've probably seen the most is Scott Pilgrim vs. The World because my favorite director is Edgar Wright.
So, my favorite guilty pleasure movie, which I haven't watched in a while because it is kind of long, is the live-action Speed Racer.
I recognize that this is a bad movie, but it is my go-to guilty pleasure movie.
My non-nerdy, very basic answer is Shawshank Redemption.
I do really like that movie and I own it on Blu-ray.
I know it's a very white guy answer to give.
Yeah, wow.
Sarge likes cake and Shawshank Redemption.
All right.
All right.
It's I know it's okay.
Naps in a recliner, mowing the lawn in your shorts.
Someone has to be wrong on this podcast and it's you.
Then, like, for science fiction, like, it's so it like changes and moves.
It's like, right now, I would have like, everything everywhere all at once is Right now my favorite science fiction movie.
Of all time?
Really?
That sounds like some recency bias to me, man.
It's definitely recency bias and I recognize that.
Because I was trying to think of what my favorite science fiction movie is, once you brought it up, and I was just like, is it still Terminator 2?
I'm just like... Oh, no, it is.
When we rewatched that for Binge Wordy, I was just like, holy shit, this movie's so good.
So it's definitely in there.
It might be The Matrix, honestly.
For me, my favorite sci-fi movie.
It holds up so well, and it was so influential.
It's hard not to give it a bunch of good marks for that.
It's recent enough where I can watch it like not be sort of ironically picking apart like, you know, unfortunately for me, it's hard to get really too engaged with anything pre 1982 or whatever.
Yeah, Iron Man is in there as like, like, I mean, I know that's like multiple genres.
But if we're just like, I'm kind of breaking it down by genre, because that's how I think of it in my mind.
I don't really have a favorite movie.
I have like, A batch of movies that I just think are very good.
People that say they have a favorite actor is baffling to me.
Favorite series is again... Oh wait, we never got Mike to chime in on favorite movie.
Oh, what you guys were saying, my ears perked up when Elle said Terminator 2.
I love the first two Terminator movies.
I think Terminator 2 is actually the rare movie where the sequel's better than the first one, and I really liked the first one.
So it's just like, that was awesome.
When I was younger, I loved Full Metal Jacket a lot.
Really?
Yeah.
I mean, it's such a, it's such a like, Hard watch.
It's not like an easy viewing experience.
I literally remember exactly nothing after the boot camp stuff.
And I know I'm not the only person.
That stuff is just so iconic that the rest of the movie just gets swept by the wayside.
Yeah, it's really weird.
So many people have said it's like two movies, and it really does feel that way.
The actual in-Vietnam stuff is just weak, because the drill sergeant is just such a massive part of the movie.
Spoiler alert!
If they didn't kill him at the end of the bootcamp, he still would have been gone, and you still would have lost that emotional anchor.
Moving from the Drill Sergeant to Private Joker, the movie loses a lot in that transition.
So I think that that's the weak part of it.
But again, you just watch the first half of it and all that stuff in the bootcamp, and it's great.
And I'm happy.
Um, so I would definitely say that, um, I love just watching political history stuff.
I am probably the only person in the world who's watched like all the way or slash, uh, all the way and slash LBJ.
Those two movies I've watched both of them like a ton of times.
I love like getting into the weeds of like passing the civil rights bill and the shit Lyndon Johnson had to do for all that stuff.
And then him stepping on the rake that was Vietnam and ruining his presidency.
That stuff is just catnip for me.
And I know that, like, it's super niche, so I'm not asking anyone to take it.
I like period pieces.
Okay, real quick, starting with Mike this time, we're gonna do Snake Draft Style.
Favorite series?
I would say, like, the... God, if Game of Thrones had stuck the landing, you fucking clowns.
So, because you failed, the two series that I've really enjoyed the most, like, I would guess, quote-unquote, recently...
For actual scripted television would be Justified.
I really love that a lot.
And I will always rep Babylon 5 when given the chance to do so.
And for quote-unquote unscripted stuff, Taskmaster is the greatest thing ever created in the history of the universe.
So watch Taskmaster.
Anime deep cut.
There is an anime called Crest slash Banner of the Stars.
It is a weird niche science fiction thing.
It's it's hard sci-fi and I just fucking love it.
There's so little like hard sci-fi out there.
I know the Expanse exists now and I do like that but man I found Crest and Banner of the Stars at a point in my life and just absolutely love it.
I will also, like, honorary mention, I really like Gundam Wing.
It is not the best, but it was very important to American anime, and god, it really cemented a dumb love of giant robots in the back of my brain, and I will always get back to it.
If I want to feel amazing and sad, Gurren Lagann is just a show that I have watched, I think, all the way through like three times, but it is, it is gutty.
It gets real gutty.
So, yeah.
They're all anime at the moment.
Wow, what a weeb.
And for me, I'm also going to pick a few because you can't pick just one.
I'm going to try to do it quickly.
The first one is 30 Rock.
I think it's the best sitcom ever.
Now, granted, it was coming out at a time in the late 2000s where a lot of very good comedians were pushing a lot of boundaries and a lot of that stuff through the benefit of cultural hindsight.
sort of push the boundaries too far and were problematic.
So the show does have some problematic jokes in it, which I will acknowledge up front makes it not
for everybody. But if you're willing to overlook that, I think that it's the it's the goat for
sitcoms, in my opinion, I really love 30 Rock. The second recommendo is going to be the Venture
Brothers. I think that it has the best writing. I'll jump in on that too. The I think it has
probably the best interconnected writing in any television show I've ever seen.
So the fact that it's like an animated show on top of that, it's like lampooning a bunch of stuff.
The biggest problem with it is that like its biggest gimmick is how Good the writing is season to season, with all the interconnected bits, so it really is an investment.
And the first season is the weakest season by far.
So it can be difficult to get into for the whole ride, but once you jump on, it's quite good, and among the best.
And the third one is The Wire.
Now, that's a great show, but she kicks like a mule in the transition going from season one to season two, and then again going from season four to season five.
Those are some pretty powerful kicks.
And so, The Wire tends to, like, lose a lot of people when it goes from the end of Season 1 and, like, does not exactly transition you into a Season 2 where all the characters are fucking different.
But once you get over that hump, and then the hump of how buckwild some of the narrative stuff in the fifth season is, it's a very good television show with a lot of very great performances.
I recently heard The Wire described as a show that is unfortunately as good as people tell you it is.
Because you just have people that are just like, oh, The Wire is the greatest show on television, super satisfying, just like, seals the deal, sticks the landing, tells an amazing connected story, and you're like, yeah, yeah, whatever, and then you finally watch it and you're like, goddammit!
God!
Well, and the real curse of The Wire is that you start to see how many of the Wire actors were in so much other stuff you've seen.
Yeah.
It's just like the Arrow and the FedEx logo.
Once you see it once, you can't ever unsee it.
You're just burdened with this.
It's like, oh, this movie, even now, 20 years later, it's like, oh, this movie has like four or five actors from The Wire in it.
For 0.2 seconds, I thought you were going to talk about Arrow the CW show.
And I was like, what?
What?
None of those people thought I would do anything.
Yeah, dude, so good.
What a star-making turn for that guy and that other guy.
You can fill in those names there because I don't know them.
But you know who I do know?
Idris Elba.
Michael K. Williams.
Thank you so much.
Rest in peace.
Anyway, thank you for the question.
Let's move along.
We've talked about movies and TV shows for too long, I feel.
Yes.
Reverend Xenofact asks, back to the Q&D RPG, what are the early enemies' questers, with a special emphasis on the Q, face?
The equivalent of kobolds and goblins.
What are the ultimate bosses and their weaknesses?
I mean, the ultimate bosses are the Watkins, and their weaknesses are turning on basic IT.
Except for Ron.
You're talking about the bosses that you have to fight as a QAnon protagonist.
You have to fight George Soros and Hillary Clinton and those folks.
Lowest on the totem pole, shit posters.
They're just endless.
Shit posters are like your goblins.
And then you have green posters and trolls.
I think trolls are also a class.
So maybe it's like ranger.
You encounter a lot of bandits that are just rangers.
And it's also a class.
Yeah.
And then at some point you get to people that are actually about like the cult cause, right?
So you'd have like, you know, you're red hat red hat would have to be some sort of like mid-level boss for sure.
Or a middle monster or whatever.
Yeah, like I think that like, like defeating there should be like a quest chain where you have to defeat a series
of podcast assholes in order to advance up the mega QAnon ranks like.
We're somewhere down at the bottom tier and then you eventually work your way up to Attacking Knowledge Fight, the QAnon Anonymous podcast, Behind the Bastards.
And after you vanquish all of those people, then you actually find out who the evil, the sinister shadow who's been funding all these lefty podcasts.
And when you bring him down, then you start, after you vanquish that guy, with his dying breath, he just gasps, SORA!
And then you're like, oh shit, it's happening!
We're onto the big kahuna!
I forgot we were supposed to be doing this.
You have to go through the reverse castle.
I forgot we were doing this from the QAnon side and not from our side.
Oh my god!
I flipped it.
This has been a mailbag question for like three weeks now.
I know!
Oh my god.
I flipped it though.
I was like, oh wait, are we the baddies?
Yes, that's the point.
Yeah, but we could be.
We're one of the bad guys that you can bribe.
You just pass off.
Oh, yeah, you could red pill us.
Oh, God.
I would be the monster.
That's one of the secret endings, is that you just give the Avengers of Hellworld crew, like, you come back to them with ten million dollars, and you give them ten million dollars, and they lead you into the back door of Desortus's fortress.
Yes!
We will betray George Soros for $10 million, no questions.
I'm pretty sure in the Monster Manual, I'd be called Mike Staines or something, because they'd find an edgy way to mock me.
And they need to make sure that it's parody, so they could just be totally owning us, and we'd just be fully owned.
Oh god, so crushingly owned.
It'd be great.
Yeah, because the secret ending is you give us the 10 million dollars, then we lead you to the Sorcerer's Fortress, and then they're just like... They're just like, why did you do this 10 million dollars?
And we're all just like, because we all need to afford penis enlargement surgery!
Our penises are so small!
What a bunch of small penis people we are!
And then a crying emoji.
Yeah, we're low-T beta cucks.
Oh god, we're all just mad.
That'd be great.
See?
Look at this.
This game gets more deep and rich by the moment.
Absolutely.
It's already got a secret ending, where you bribe us, the Avengers of the Homeworld podcast.
We're totally unbiased.
Yeah, Soros the Citadel.
Yes.
Perfect.
Perfect name.
The alliteration, it flows so smoothly.
And finally, Amanda Scatland says, fruitcake.
Discuss.
I can't honestly say I've ever actually had fruitcake.
So.
So it's not.
It's not my favorite thing, but it's also not as bad as media has portrayed it over the years.
That being said, I did grow up in New England where big molasses-y loaf is just, like, a thing you grow up with and develop a taste for.
So, like, the idea of that with some, like, fruit in it doesn't put me off.
Also, I like raisins and stuff like that.
So, you know, I'm one of those weird people who thought, like, I like a nice raisin.
You put an oatmeal cookie together, you throw some raisins in that, I think it's delightful.
I love the raisin.
That has got to be the hottest take I've given on the podcast.
Yeah!
You don't like cake, but you do like, or you think pie is better than cake, but you do like raisins.
Yeah, I don't know why I like raisins so much.
It's very, it's bizarre even to me.
If you give me like a yogurt covered raisin, delightful.
Love it.
You were coming at me for sitting in the recliner and taking my naps, and you're like, oh, yogurt covered raisins, that's delightful.
Is that an old person snack?
I don't know.
Yeah, it's an old person snack.
I think that, like, the organic food section of, like, grocery stores, so I associate it with, like, you know, crunchy granola hippies and, like, hipsters and stuff.
Not necessarily old people.
It's not like a Werther's Original.
Although, for the record, I love a Werther's Original.
Yeah, I was gonna say!
You know what I really love?
You know what I really love is Tastations, but we don't have time to talk about Tastations right now.
Are you gonna go buy a Bit O' Honey next?
Like, what's up?
No, Bit O' Honey's kinda gross.
I will say that I also am down with the oatmeal raisin cookie.
Those are delicious.
But it is the hottest take we've given on the podcast so far.
Most people hate the raisins, and I get it.
And I have no opinion on fruitcake either, so I am completely abstaining from fruitcake-ery.
The problem is, I feel like you can bake that shit straight in and get to the carrot cake territory, or maybe like a banana bread territory.
You can just have that flavor up in there without needing the big chunks.
Because I feel like for a lot of people it's like a mouthfeel thing.
You have the soft, bready part, but then you're just squishing through.
It's not the greatest mouthfeel, I'm not gonna lie.
So that brings us to the final question always.
What are you clowns looking forward to?
Ironically, fruitcake.
I'm about to go smash a bunch of it.
He's got a bag of Werther's Originals all lined up.
He's going to put on a nice movie.
I'm actually planning on going out to the cafe for a spot of tea and perhaps maybe some fancy cheeses.
Ooh.
How decadent.
That's what I'm looking forward to.
My cafe trip.
I guess there's a place in town I haven't been to yet where you can go for like, you know, chocolate tasting or whatever.
It's like a, you know, they've just got like a bunch of like chocolate ass, like high cacao, like...
Choco tinctures that you knock back. I don't know. I'm gonna I might investigate that at some point
It sounds like a weird thing. I want to do She made me think of the Brooklyn 99 where he goes to the
chocolate milk bar I mean it honestly sounded sort of like that but without
milk. I I don't actually know how it works Maybe that's exactly what it is. I'll get back. That's the
worst part of both things The the new expansion for monster hunters out is
It's my partner's birthday this weekend, so we have friends coming into town for that as well, and it's her birthday, so we're going to celebrate that, and we're also going to play some Monhon, so looking forward to that.
That's cool.
As I posted on Twitter, I defeated the Heart with the defect on Slay the Spire, so now I'm down to the Watcher as my only non-Heartkill character.
And the Watcher's super broken.
She has Time Walk.
She's ridiculous.
So I figure I will figure that out sooner rather than later on that front.
And on top of that, basically, Disney Mirrorverse that was blowing up the group chat that
I'm now involved in.
I've been sucked into that, so I'm gonna be murdering things with the Little Mermaid.
That sounds like it's gonna be a ton of fun.
Yeah.
And, um...
I have given it one United States dollar because it entertained me for more than 12 hours.
That's sort of like the barrier.
Like, I will give a thing a dollar as sort of like a tip to the dealer.
Like, I know that this is free, but thank you very much.
Here's your dollar.
And then only one time have I been sucked into giving them more money than that.
And that game got like $300 out of me.
So, we'll see.
We'll see if Mirrorverse can go the distance.
I am a sucker for Disney stuff.
I'm a shill.
If anything ever proved that we were sellouts, it's our love of Disney stuff.
Disney would, again, be one of the massive villains.
That would be like a module where you have to bring down the mouse in part of the Q&D universe because there are groomers and all that bullshit.
So yeah, that'd be absolutely a thing that you'd have to fight.
Yeah, a whole groomer ex-pack.
Yeah, and what I'm not looking forward to is the fact that the concert I was going to go to tonight got cancelled, so that sucked.
Some section of the tour group of Garbage is battling an illness.
They had cancelled two shows previous to this.
So I was like, oh, this isn't looking good.
This isn't looking good.
I was crossing my fingers and toes all week, and then today, boom, cancelled.
And I was like, yes!
I mean, they might be giant tickets got pushed back an entire year.
But the difference is that Mike's out there stumping for Shirley.
Shirley, why are you doing up way dirty like this?
Because it's obviously your fault that that person is ill.
Yes, absolutely.
Absolutely.
Well, that sucks, man.
I'm sorry to hear it.
But unfortunately, you're going to have to find some other place to whine because we're going to have to shut down this podcast.
In fact, I think it's time for us to put the podcast into read-only mode for the week.
So let me just...
Thank you everybody so much for listening and supporting the show.
You can continue to support the show for free by giving us a five-star review or engaging with us on any of our socials that will be coming up later in the outro.
And if you have money, sweet, sweet money, God knows we love talking about it, you can give it to us by donating it to us on our Patreon at patreon.com flashpokerpolitics.
We're donating $5 or more every month.
We'll get you access to all of our bonus content, including a bunch of series such as Kabalin and What We Do Out of Shadows and Mule's Errand, all of which are the boys getting together to discuss Q Media, which has been a hoot and a holler, even if sometimes it is difficult to make hoots and hollers out of the stupid nonsense that they are delivering to the devout.
It's really something.
So you can get that by becoming one of our beautifuller babies, like our beautifuller babies this week.
Shout out to Maggie Rance and Mar-a-Lago Boat Patrol, and they made a note here that they are on True Social.
So, wow.
Somebody either out there doing the good work on a bad platform, or Very, very, very small case.
Really enthusiastic hate listener.
Can you imagine being so enthusiastic about something that you paid money to hate listen to it?
Seems really doubtful, but maybe we're a double, even triple agent here, who could say?
Thank you so much for your support.
If you have money and you don't want to give it to us, we totally understand.
You can donate it to love146.org, their organization whose vision is the end of child trafficking and exploitation.
Breath!
Or you can go ahead and donate it to whatever pro-Ukraine, anti-Russian aggression charity you'd like.
Or you could support the blue in the upcoming midterm elections.
You know, you could do a lot of good with that money.
So if you don't want to give it to us, we totally understand.
Big shout-out to DJ Minimal Effort for the use of our theme song.
Still too cold for social media, so here's your shout-out, DJ Minimal Effort.
Thanks so much.
You can find our buddy Frosty, who does all of our voice-over artistry, on Twitter, at FrostyVO.
You can find the show on Twitter, at Hellworld, H-E-L-L-W-Q-R-L-D.
You can find me on Twitter, at HellworldL.
Hellworld's spelled the same, just add a big ol' L at the end of that.
You can find Sarge, at SargeInHell.
And our buddy Mike, of course, is at PokerPolitics.
And that is going to do it for another successful episode of the Adventures in Hellworld podcast.
As always, I have been one of your hosts, the Mysterious L, joined by the not-so-mysterious Sarge, and the least mysterious of us all, and our expert in all things QDOT Crazy, Mr. Mike Rains.
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