Sarge and L return as we cover the breaking news of Matt Gaetz's ex girlfriend testifying before a grand jury. Also Tucker Carlson takes Ted Cruz behind the woodshed and Trump decides to call Republicans cowards for not admitting they got the booster. Get bonus content on PatreonSupport this show http://supporter.acast.com/hellwqrld. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
♪♪♪ Hello everybody and welcome to another episode of
Adventures in Hellworld.
I am Mike Rains, a.k.a.
PokerandPolitics, and I am joined, as always, by Sarge.
I'm back!
Da-da-da-da, da-da-da-da.
There you go.
In the mysterious hell.
Hello, my beautiful babies!
We're back, baby, yeah!
Oh, air horn noise.
Oh, man.
Oh, we just got- Party hell this year, woo!
We got everyone back together and we're like, you know what?
We're just going to go full zoo crew.
We're just doing it.
Yeah.
Any excuse to do air horn noise with your mouth.
It's so fun.
If you haven't done it in a while at home, I suggest trying it.
It's so infectious, too.
Oh, God.
Yeah, we're all poisoned now.
It's more transmittable than Omicron.
It's the absolute most powerful force on all of Earth.
So, yes, the boys are back from their sojourn elsewhere.
We have returned- Wee-wee!
Wee!
Yes.
Were you doing a foghorn?
No, I was just doing a sad air horn.
I mean, what is a fog horn if not a sad air horn?
I mean, that's literally what it's there to help cut through.
Is fog just sad air?
Yeah, fog is sad air.
We're lighting off our return special with a bang.
What is fog if not sad air?
Fog is sad air, the podcast.
So yeah, so while we are currently giddy and frivolous now that we're finally all back in the studio riffing and yucking it up, we do talk about QAnon, so we have to put up the content warning.
Content warning.
The Adventures in Hellworld podcast talks in depth about QAnon, which means we have to talk about all kinds of child abuse and violence against people.
So yes, the news that is now hitting all the major outlets and is now ablaze on Twitter is that Matt Gaetz's ex-girlfriend, who is quote-unquote seen as a key witness in the ongoing investigation into alleged sex trafficking, entered Orlando federal courthouse with her lawyer on Wednesday.
So She is testifying.
She either has recently testified or is currently testifying before a grand jury about the shit Matt Gaetz was doing vis-a-vis women who are underage that he was giving money to on Venmo with notes that basically read, not sex, because that would be illegal.
I would never do that.
Love hotel emoji.
Cucumber emoji.
Splash emoji.
Money emoji.
Little girl emoji.
Rodney Dangerfield face.
Yeah, so I remember like a million years ago back when like Obama was president or some shit when this like Matt Gaetz investigation first kicked off and it was like so it was like oh shit that piece of shit Matt Gaetz is gonna finally get his and then The investigation just sort of, like, vanished, and he was just out on television acting as though he was not about to be indicted for underage sex trafficking, and the Republican Party was totally cool with him.
And now, I mean...
On the one hand, I'll believe it when I see it, but on the other hand, this seems like it's pretty important.
This seems like a big move towards this asshole finally getting his mugshot taken again, because he got busted for a lot of DUIs.
It's taking forever, but I guess when you come for a sitting congressman, That gets to stand in front of cameras all he wants.
You have to, you know, when you take a shot at the king, you best not miss.
And I don't think he's a king, but you really can't afford to miss on this one.
Oh yeah, I remember seeing a couple months ago that Gates had hired a bunch of out-of-state attorneys.
We talked about it.
And people were just saying, you hire out-of-state people to just go fucking hog wild and trash the police, trash everybody, because it's just win-at-all-costs.
So when you know that's what Matt Gates' view on this thing is, you've got to know what the government's view is, also win-at-all-costs.
So we're going to make sure all our ducks are in a row before we grab this guy.
So, uh, I mean, here's to hoping.
I mean, it's really crazy that, like, Devin Nunes, who is just a moron and a Trump bootlicker, managed to, like, ditch out of Congress faster than Matt Gaetz.
It was just like, yay!
I like being a congressman.
I'm Devin Nunes.
I sued an internet cow.
People know me as a moron.
I'm just going to leave because now Trump's going to give me money to run whatever the hell it is that is his latest scam.
Meanwhile, Matt Gaetz is like, nope!
Congressman for life.
Never leaving.
Don't care how much heat is on me.
Not going to resign so I can try to prepare my legal defense against this Case I'm gonna catch soon?
Nope.
Just, just living my life.
Just living Matt Gaetz's best life forever.
No fear of the fact that I'm about to be hit with, like, a huge indictment that could put me in jail, like, for forever, basically.
Hopefully Gaetz ends up rolling over on people that are more powerful enough than him that this becomes, like, a big deal, and at some point they make a movie out of it, because I'd really like to see Joel McHale get some more work.
Tell me that's not the perfect casting for Matt Gale.
That would be great.
Lifetime movie.
Oh, God.
Oh, man.
Yeah, that would be like the actor who played Hitler in Downfall, just absolutely nailing a monster for a role.
Music's so good.
I just want to see it happen.
I mean, I just want to see the... because the fact that QAnon and the Right have just spent so long railing at everybody for being pedophiles and monsters, and they've just pretended this whole time that Matt Gaetz isn't that.
That he isn't literally the monster they claim to hate.
It's just hilarious to me.
me and yeah, I want to think about it for their official stance on it to be I want QAnon's
official stance to be 17 is close enough.
While I am locked out of my Sarge Twitter account, I have seen several QAnon Dumb Dumbs comment upon the age of consent, now that I'm back on.
Yeah, I love that, I love that.
Like, it saved the children, but is 17 really a child?
I mean, it's just, it's just that kind of thing where they just get, like, super creepy about this stuff, and it's like, hey, you guys hate Alan Dershowitz, and that's all that guy ever does is talk about the different, like, delineations of pedophilia that I've erased from my brain, because I don't want to know those words, because they're bad.
Gross.
This is what you get for being an expert in this particular field.
You have to know the death rave to regular rave delineations of subgenres of pedophilia.
Yes.
Yeah, it was nice to take a break because I needed to step away from the darkness for a little while.
But oh boy, we are just right back into it, and yeah.
What's really funny about it to me is that Matt Gaetz is such a goddamn clown, that it's like, how can he, like, I always figured, like, if he, like, got in trouble, or any guys like him, it would be something stupid, like, like a drug charge or something like that.
Just, just the fact that he's into underage women and he pays them for sex, it's just like, man, really?
Like, you're, like, the Republican Epstein here?
That's, That's Matt Gaetz's crime.
It's like, you idiot.
What is wrong with you?
Why can't you just embezzle money like a normal person?
Like every other politician.
Like all these politicians not voting for banning themselves from trading stocks while in office.
Right!
Exactly!
Just do some white-collar grift, you idiot.
I mean, God.
Nope, he just has to take us right down the road of Pedophile Town.
It's so bizarre.
And our hero that we haven't even gotten to in What We Do Out of Shadows, Liz Kroken, when she did the Free Britney documentary, because she was trying to weave QAnon into that shit... Got on that way too late.
Oh yeah, way too late.
Oh my god.
Oh man, talk about missing your mark.
But uh, she cast Matt Gaetz as the hero in that movie!
Like, late in the movie she was just like, some congressmen, some politicians are standing up for Britney, like Matt Gaetz!
And it's just like, Yeah, I really want to think about, like, the guy who's, again, trafficking in underage women as being the defender of a woman's rights for ending her conservatorship.
Yeah, Matt Gaetz.
That was an interesting choice for your hero in that film there, Liz.
Good job!
Talking about this creep is bumming me out.
Do we want to move forward and get away from Matt Gaetz and his giant forehead and his legal woes?
Yeah, I was about to ask if you wanted to talk about a real hero.
Tucker Carlson.
Yeah, I think it's time to talk about Tucky Tuck in the news.
From the digital headlines to the digital front lines, it's Q's in the News.
So our boy Ted Cruz decided that he was going to call the 1-6 attack an act of terrorism, which it was.
And after he did this, he went on Tucker Carlson's show and Tucker decided to let him know, you're not allowed to call the 1-6 incident an act of terrorism.
Mostly because white people who support Donald Trump did it.
And, uh, Tucker basically, uh, like just wha- he- Ted Cruz was a dog and Tucker was just whacking him on the nose with a newspaper over and over again, telling him he was a bad dog and he did a bad thing and he'd never do it again.
And Ted Cruz just meekly caved to Tucker in the most pathetic, just rolling over and showing your belly, just giving up, just, I'm sorry, Tuck.
I didn't mean to call it terrorism.
It was a slip of the tongue, you know.
People get all heated when an army of people rush into a building to try to kill you, and you just say some things that maybe you shouldn't have said.
But, I mean, let's let bygones be bygones.
Let's all just kind of water under the bridge, this kind of thing.
1-6, I mean, it was bad, but it wasn't terrorism bad, right?
Am I right?
And repeatedly, Tucker Carlson was like, no, I'm gonna continue to flog you on television.
In front of my audience.
So that they can all achieve maximum release.
He just would not let Ted Cruz off the hook.
It was great.
It's not even the first time that Ted Cruz has called it terrorism.
The boys over at Knowledge Fight found clips where on at least 16 different occasions Ted Cruz had called it terrorism.
Yeah, they had gotten that from a bunch of... I saw it all over Gab.
Because Gab hates everybody, so of course they hate Ted Cruz.
But all the people on Gab were just like, Ted Cruz has called this an act of terrorism 17 times previously, this is not a slip of the tongue, this is what he really thinks, Ted Cruz is not one of us, he's a piece of shit, And whenever it is, he's going to be up for re-election because we don't really follow politics that well and we don't know how the senators work.
But whenever that day comes, we need to get rid of that guy because he sucks!
And they're just, I mean, they're just like so in it to win it, frothing at the mouth just full of anger at anyone who calls a spade a spade.
I mean, it's so, it's, it just blows my mind that like this is the one, that one six is this bizarre Schrodinger's event where Nothing happened, there was no violence, it was boring as hell, but it was also this Soros-funded, Antifa-caused, deep-state attack on our Capitol designed to cow the Republicans from doing their actual job and decertifying a fraudulent election and reinstalling Trump as president.
Oh, Mike, we all know it's false flag.
But, like, it was false flag that same day, right?
Oh, yeah, I mean, yeah.
They were, by like four o'clock, everyone was denouncing the Q-Shaman as an obvious Antifa deep cover plant that had infiltrated QAnon for years before this, only to reveal himself at the moment the Deep State needed him as a prop for their fake terrorism.
I mean, it's just so funny that you just see so many people that did bad things that day, and they're all hardcore Trumpers, they're all hardcore MAGA believers.
Marjorie Taylor Greene and Matt Gaetz and all these other people are like, the terrible conditions of these poor political prisoners.
And it's like, why are they prisoners?
Why are you mad if they're Antifa?
Why are you upset if they're not MAGA people?
How did 300 just innocent, doe-eyed MAGA believer, QAnon believers, get rounded up and put in jail while all the Antifa agitators
like slinked into the shadows and avoided detection. I-I cannot-
That's how deep the conspiracy goes.
Soros is not a net.
They desperately want their cake and to eat it too. Like...
Yeah. Paul Gosert is constantly on Gab saying, What has happened to the One Sixth Patriots is a crime,
and when we take power, we will not forget what they did to them.
And it's like, who is them?
Again, you told me that it was Black Lives Matter.
So are you telling me that Black Lives Matter has a point?
What are you trying to say?
Explain the conspiracy to me and try to do it in less than 3,000 words.
Because you can't!
It's just so baffling that this is what we're doing.
And now we've got Jim Jordan saying that if he gets subpoenaed by the 1-6 committee, he will not accept.
He'll just ignore it.
So we're now getting to the point where sitting representatives of Congress may be held in contempt of Congress.
I don't know.
I mean, Mark Meadows has been referred for a contempt of Congress charge.
So, on the one hand, Republicans have told us that 1-6 was done by the left.
On the other hand, Republicans refuse to investigate 1-6, ever, under any circumstances.
They don't want to know what happened because they know what happened.
And what happened was the bad guys did it, which is not us.
No, never, never us.
Yeah, everyone on Fox News tweeting Donald Trump's people, just begging them to tell Donald Trump to call off those idiots because it was making everybody look fucking terrible.
It was like, hey, it doesn't really look good for any of us Republicans and a bunch of Republicans are currently storming the Capitol, so... Could you maybe tell them to go home?
You wanna maybe run this one up the flagpole?
See if he's able to ease off the gas a bit?
No?
Okay, well, good for him.
You do you, Dougie!
You do you!
I mean, yeah, they know what happened.
And also, just yesterday, Rachel Maddow had a story about how Five different states sent letters to the National Archives saying, hey, here are the rightful winners, here are the electors for the presidential election of 2020, the rightful winners, and these are the electors who have certified their votes for Donald Trump, which is their right, because Trump won those states, and here are the electors that are going to vote for him when the Electoral College certification happens on January 6th.
So five states had the exact same paperwork, uh, sent to the National Archives from Republican groups saying, Hey, Trump won our state.
These are the electors you should be listening to.
So, I mean, this isn't a coffee boy shit.
This isn't the Q, the Q shaman running around the Capitol holding his flag and being all like, Oh, I'm a, I'm an insurrection.
I'm an insurrection.
the Simpsons memification of that guy made it out to be.
This is actual Republican, I mean, if you saw the article, if you saw the story by Rachel Maddow,
all those pieces of paper were like the same formatting, the same font, all of it. And the
actual states, their actual certificates for the Electoral College were completely different. They'll,
some of them have like the seal of the state on them and crazy graphics. And they
actually put some like time and effort into it because that's a document that's going to be like a
historical. Whereas the Republicans just went to Kinko's and were like, yeah, I just want you
to print this six times, but just change Nevada to Georgia. And then we'll...
and then Wisconsin and Michigan.
Oh yeah, and the seven stars between the header and the body.
Perfect, just leave that in all the copies.
Just those seven stars, it's great.
Fucking sweet.
So, nailed it.
Yeah, so.
Well, we've gone down a bit of a rabbit hole.
We're supposed to be talking about Tucker Carlson pulling down Ted Cruz's pants and hat like a baby.
Yeah.
Eyes on the prize.
We have to talk about Tuck, like tenderizing Ted Cruz's bottom for being a bad boy.
So naughty.
And this is a recurring theme in Ted Cruz's miserable life.
I mean, Donald Trump called his mother ugly, said his dad shot JFK, and Ted Cruz at the 2016 convention was like, hey everybody, I just want you all to vote your conscience, and the crowd booed him off the stage.
And then, like, a month later, Ted Cruz is phone banking for Donald Trump, like a sad boy.
And, I mean, I half expect Ted Cruz to be cutting promos for Tucker Carlson's show next week.
He'll be like, yeah, everybody, tune in to Tucker at 9 o'clock tonight.
He's going to talk about how multiculturalism is bad.
People who have a last name like mine probably shouldn't be allowed to be in America, but hey, we gotta roll with it, because Tucker basically runs our party at this point.
I mean, that's just the way it is.
He really is.
Speaking of which, how do you feel about any of these Tuck 2024 rumblings?
I think they're hilarious.
I mean, I totally see it as being a thing that could happen.
I don't, I mean, Trump was literally just like a professional famous person before he ran for president.
So that's really the only standard.
The only two things you need to be a Republican primary front runner are name recognition and racism.
And that's like, Haha, name recognition and racism.
That's it!
I mean, that's how Trump won the Republican primary was, everyone knows who I am, and I want to build a wall to keep the dusky-hued horde out of America.
And people were like, good enough for me, that man should be president.
I mean, why shouldn't he?
He wants to keep Mexicans out of our country, and I know who he is.
He was the famous guy on television.
Someday we'll get merch.
Name recognition and racism.
Yep, that's it.
I mean, oh god, it's just, the Republican primary voter is like the easiest person in the world to placate.
What always blew my mind about his 2016 run was Trump just like saying that shit about, I'm gonna build a wall, Mexico's gonna pay for it.
And he was obviously lying and everybody knew that, but none of these people could attack him.
No one could say, hey, Trump's lying about the wall thing.
He actually can't do that.
If he ever became president, it would never in a million years happen.
And if you did that you would have lost more votes to Trump, because Trump would be like, yeah I can, I can do it, I can totally do it, I'm Trump, I'm the greatest, I'll make them pay for that wall.
Alright Mike, while we're talking about Trump, I'm reading here that he got in a little razzle dazzle with the esteemed governor of Florida.
Oh yeah, so joining Tucker Carlson on the flogging Ted Cruz committee, Donald Trump was like, hey, beating the shit out of spineless Republicans sounds like fun to me.
So Trump did an interview where he again was aggressively, psychotically pro-vaccine.
But don't worry, QAnon, he's speaking in code.
It's okay.
He doesn't really need it.
It has got to be so infuriating to the people that hate Trump that he literally is like violating QAnon's core tenet and they're just giving him a password anyways.
But Trump was doing an interview and he said that Republican politicians need to just come out and state if they're boosted or not, that you're a coward.
If you don't state your booster status, there's no point not doing so.
And I'm boosted.
The booster is great.
The Trump vaccine is great.
I've saved tens of millions of lives.
Operation Warp Speed, like the very slow moving hamster that just drags that
hamster wheel that is Trump's brain.
Uh, he's latched onto his talking points about the vaccine and he doesn't give a shit about all of the like anti-vax nonsense of the rest of the Republican Party.
He is going to run hard on that thing and he knows it.
And while he didn't mention DeSantis, and DeSantis' cowardly office actually has released a statement saying, hey, Trump didn't name DeSantis in that comment, so we don't know exactly who he's talking about, so we're just gonna sort of, you know, roll with the punches on this one and just see how things work out.
We're fine with whatever.
I mean, we're not in a confrontation with a noble President Trump.
Meanwhile, they know.
They know exactly what happened because, like, two odd weeks ago, before DeSantis mysteriously vanished for, like, ten days, and then came back, And gave a press conference about manufacturing in Florida where he was breathing heavily, and just like gasping for air, looking like he had just literally recovered from a really rough bout of COVID.
DeSantis had been asked by a reporter, he's like, hey, Ron, have you gotten your booster shot yet?
And DeSantis reacted as though the guy had asked him the age-old question, have you stopped beating your wife yet?
Like, DeSantis was like, how dare you ask me about the booster?
I've done what I've done when it comes to COVID and that's all you need to know about it, buddy.
I ain't talking to you about no boosters.
And, um, I mean, given what happened where he vanished for almost like two weeks and no one could find him, and it became a really weird story on Twitter where...
His, uh, his, like, official Twitter page was, like, posting videos of, like, him attending Friday Night Football, even though the high school football season had ended, like, weeks ago.
And there were all these other things where they were like, hey, Ron DeSantis is a man about town, just handling the business of the state of Florida, like he always does.
And people were like, no dude, that photo's like two weeks old.
No, that photo's like three weeks old.
Where is he?
Why are you feeding into this shit?
This is like one of those low-level dumb conspiracy theories when a governor or someone just like takes a vacation for a week or two and doesn't want to be bothered.
And instead of just being like, hey, Ron's on vacation.
Like Ted Cruz when his state was covered in ice.
He's just like, oh, look at the time.
It's time for me to go to my annual family trip to Cancun.
Sorry, state of Texas.
God, so dumb.
I like to think that DeSantis, like, those photos and stuff weren't old.
It was just that in the photos, he's so racked with COVID that they're having to weekend at Bernie's, puppeteer him.
So he's like on the sidelines, like, cheering, which is, like, completely unconscious.
Just, like, on a respirator.
They're like, hooray!
This isn't a respirator.
It's the most efficient way to get nachos into your system when you're enjoying the game.
I was going to ask you about the DeSantos disappearance, because I was gone while all that was happening.
DeSantos?
Why are you making him Spanish?
Oh, DeSantos.
DeSantis.
Well, we had just gotten finished talking about Rafael Cruz.
So we just put Sargent, a Mexican state of mind, about that.
So he was like, obviously DeSantis is Hispanic.
I mean, two peas in a pod, right?
So yeah, that went poorly.
Nailed it!
That's what happens when we don't have a segue outlined up, boys.
We're just leaving poor Mike Reyes out to dry.
That was such authentic sadness.
Oh, I missed this.
I missed this.
I'm glad to be back.
Okay, sorry.
The thing is, if Trump is not in jail or just an invalid from the fact that he's a really old guy who's out of shape and had a real bad bout of COVID, the 2024 primary is going to be so lit.
Those people are going to be at each other's throats in the craziest way.
So lit.
Because in a way, Trump is such a weird character now because I really don't think the Republicans, they're going to want to run on just the fact that everything sucks.
That's going to be all of this.
They're just going to throw everything on Biden and be like, everyone who's dying of COVID is your fault, whatever's going on with the economy is your fault, everything sucks and we need to get you out of office because you're a bum.
Meanwhile, Trump is going to be running for president under a banner of 2020 was stolen from me.
QAnon is basically right.
The vaccine is great.
Take seven more shots, you stupid rubes.
He is going to be so out of touch with the Republican primary field about what they want to deal with that, I mean, it's going to be funny just watching Republican-based voters' heads just like pop like they're in scanners, trying to like reconcile.
They're like, well, I love Trump more than I love Jesus.
But on the other hand, Trump is getting kind of weird.
Don't mess it up.
Trump is Jesus.
Yeah, oh, that is possible.
I mean, they might just go that far apart.
Yeah, remember, he's like the king of kings or whatever.
Yeah.
The ruler of rulers.
The master of flusters.
Yeah, the king of sting.
Oh, Trump is all that and a bag of chips.
He's so great.
He's truly the greatest of all of us.
Oh, yeah, he's the king of pop, all right.
Yes.
The king of pop.
Yes.
When are they going to build a big statue of him and float it down the river?
Oh, well, I mean, they didn't build that golden statue of him and brought it to that conference or whatever.
Does that count?
I mean, what it lacked in size, it made up for being in gold, which is a much more mad king thing to be doing.
Yeah.
Worship his golden bust of me.
Put Mardi Gras beads on it.
Let's go.
Speaking of let's go, I hear that NASCAR has got itself a little let's go Brandon problem.
Yeah.
So, uh, the poor, the, the, the driver whose name is Brandon, uh, had been talking about how it was tough for him to get, uh, endorsement deals because of the fact that he was involved in that whole, let's go Brandon kerfluffle.
Uh, so lo and behold, while he was looking for some money, uh, Steve Bannon and the rest of the shithead grifters that exist in that world.
Came to him with an idea that he was gonna be like the pitchman and spokesperson for the Let's Go Brendan coin, which is your latest crypto scam that, I mean, is so obviously transparently fraudulent that if you ever bought yourself a Let's Go Brendan coin, congratulations, you're the world's biggest sucker.
I mean, they're not even close to being remotely coherent or sane.
Certainly not a pump and dump.
No, oh god no, in no way, shape, or form are we pumping and dumping this.
You rubes.
It's like when Trump announced his whole thing that he was going to do the Truth Social Media platform, and the stock for that company went up a trillion dollars, and now probably nothing's going to happen with the company, now it's like tanking like a stone.
But hey, the idiots who pumped and dumped that, they got conned, and the people that were doing that scam, they got their money.
The only difference for Bannon and the rest of these people in crypto is that crypto is totally unregulated.
So pump and dumps are basically just a tactic in that world.
It's just something that people do.
They're like, hey, there's this coin that's currently trading at like half a cent and our goal is to get it up to four cents and then just dump it on suckers.
And I've seen those scams.
I've seen like people talking about chat rooms where they've infiltrated people doing this kind of thing and setting that up.
So the car has, so this, this Brendan Brown is the name of the driver.
He was going to have a car emblazoned with Let's Go Brendan on it and red, white, and blue paint job and all this stuff.
But the problem was, the real problem for me was on the side of the car, it was going to have like the actual, like Let's Go Brendan coin, like logo on it and being like, Hey, go to this place and buy your Let's Go Brendan coins.
So, peddling like dumb merch and all sorts of Let's Go Brandon bullshit, like that's one thing.
I mean, it's one thing to have a shirt in the back of your dresser that you'll like never wear unless it's laundry day
after like three months from now.
But it's another thing to invest like $4,000 in the Let's Go Brandon coin and then be like, oh shit, now I don't make
rent because Steve Bannon hornswoggled me as he did when he conned people out of money for that
privatized build a wall, go fund me thing he did years ago that he was arrested for, convicted for, then Trump pardoned
him for because Bye.
So don't forget that.
Steve Bannon, convicted felon.
I mean, he's going to be a two-time convicted felon after he gets tried for his contempt of Congress charges that he's been indicted on.
But he already once got himself on the wrong side of the law to the point where he was found guilty because he just defrauded people of money.
So wait, before you keep going off on our ban rant, let me circle back here for a second.
So your problem with the Brandon coin is that it's going to be scamming innocent folks?
Yeah.
I'd say that's for a Muslim.
Maybe I didn't take enough sellout pills today.
If you're the sort of person who wants to invest heavily in a let's go Brandon coin, I think you deserve to get your money taken away from you by Steve Bannon.
Like if you're just like, oh, a cryptocurrency based off a meme slander of the democratically elected president of the United States.
Uh, yeah, I need to get me some of that.
Then guess what?
You don't deserve that money.
Somebody was going to steal it from you.
You might as well be sneakin' in.
I will have to say that in the past week or so I've seen two different Let's Go Brandon hats.
I saw a Let's Go Brandon shirt, and yesterday I pulled up to my bank to hit the ATM.
And right as I got out of my car, a truck pulled up next to me, and on the back of the truck, they had a Let's Go Brandon tire cover on it.
And I was just like, man, that is just being just perpetually angry and pouty at the world, where you're just like, I'm gonna drive around my town and let everybody know I hate Joe Biden, but only people who know the secret code that means I hate Joe Biden on it.
Have QAnon people that are really off the deep end, have they started to go back through videos and photos and such of high school football games and whatnot, in which there is probably likely a player named Brandon.
So somewhere in the stands there is a Let's Go Brandon banner from 1998.
And they can be like, see?
Like, oh my god, how did you get to go?
You're just giving them ideas.
It's great.
I mean, there's got to be a way for us to siphon some money out of it with a scam related to time travel in such a way.
Safety not guaranteed.
Let's Go Brandon, 1998.
I've only done this once before.
There were, and I mean, who knows exactly what the origin of this was, but there was a player on the San Francisco Giants who's named Brandon, and the Giants had branded Let's Go Brandon signs Uh, during this, this baseball postseason and like one, uh, during one game, the camera like lingered on the sign for, uh, like 10 seconds and QAnon was just over the moon.
They were like, that cameraman knows what's going on.
Fox Sports knows what's going on.
The truth is coming out, bros.
Any coincidence, no coincidence is too small.
No, no thing too convenient for them to just make a meal of it.
Oh, they're so desperate.
They're so desperate for anything to latch on to.
And they have to make the world about them.
That's like the whole point about QAnon is that you're the protagonist of this great Giant story where the fate of the world hangs in the balance, and it's your spicy meme that might tip the balance of power away from the deep state and into the hands of the patriots.
It's, I mean, it's just so... It's just like trying to make your life more exciting and engaging, because, I mean, most of these people are just miserable for the most part.
Yeah, I mean, that's conspiracy thought in general, and we've touched on it before.
Making yourself You have special knowledge.
You know that the reptilians live inside Hollow Earth and these other people are all idiots.
Man, and that's what I always tell QAnon people when they're yelling at me.
I'm like, hey, I want you to be right.
I really do.
I want to live in your crazy magical fantasy world where these things are a thing that can happen.
Because the actual world we live in is so banal and it's really obvious what's going on.
But that's the thing.
The world that they've even created for themselves is still pretty fucking boring, man.
Well, I don't know, baby blood giving you indeterminate powers in youth.
I'm still not sure.
But that's the thing, in the fiction of their thing, the baby blood, it doesn't give you any cool powers or whatever, right?
Like, the end result of taking adrenochrome, it's not just like, they take the adrenochrome and they turn into a vampire, with the full complement of vampire powers, they can turn into mist, they can troll wolves, they can turn into bats and all that shit, and Joe Biden is a vampire confirmed.
They're just like, oh yeah, and then they kidnap children.
It's like, oh shit, what do they do with them?
Oh, they suck out the adrenochrome from them.
Oh my god, that sounds crazy.
What's the adrenochrome do?
Eh, it makes you look like Hillary Clinton does.
It's like, oh, that doesn't sound like a very good drug at all.
Historically, not the best looking member of the Democrats or whatever, but certainly the one with the most access to adrenochrome.
So like there's just no, there's just like no, their, their mythos is just fucking boring.
They're just like, oh, it's a grand conspiracy to control everyone.
And it's just like, yeah, well, how are they doing that?
It's just like, by giving out a vaccine, it's like, oh, what does the vaccine do?
We don't know, man.
It changes your DNA.
And it's just like, oh, but what, but what does it do?
They're just like, Who knows?
It magnetizes you!
Magnets will stick to you.
What are the canon powers of Adrenochrome?
We haven't talked about Adrenochrome in forever.
Or do I have it... do we have it wrong?
Do we know what the canon powers of Adrenochrome are?
Uh, Adrenochrome is basically...
It has two powers.
It's the duality of QAnon, as it always is, where, on the one hand, it is the ultimate high.
Like, if you take Adrenochrome, it is just better than, like, heroin, plus crack cocaine, plus sex, plus every other debased pleasure.
It is, like, the ultimate and hedonistic bliss to take Adrenochrome.
You're just out of your mind.
You can't, you'll never find, you'll be chasing that dragon in perpetuity.
And then when they need more on top of that, then they go into the whole fact that adrenochrome extends your life, that the young blood revitalizes you and regenerates you.
And they love doing the before and after photos where they're like, here's Johnny Depp on adrenochrome, here's Johnny Depp not on adrenochrome.
And these photos are only four months apart.
And one photo is when he's on set and fully made up, and the other one's when he's on the street, obviously, after a night out of drinking and he's a haggard.
That's, like, their thing.
And they never explain how Adrenochrome is both, like, the ultimate high and also the restorative ambrosia of the gods.
I mean, it sounds pretty great.
Like, kids have too much blood anyway.
They could share a little.
They could share a little with me if it's the greatest high ever and it makes me younger.
Well, but I mean, it makes you younger and more, like, that part is, like, obviously untrue.
I mean, so much of QAnon criticizing Democrats, and specifically Democrats that happen to be women, is talking about how awful they look.
They love talking about how awful the women look and how they obviously have big wangs and stuff.
So it's just like...
If they're sucking down a green accordion like champions to maintain their vampire-like eternal youth, then why do they look the way they do?
Like, why is it like Hillary Clinton, like, peak condition, like, graduated from college Hillary Clinton or whatever, you know what I mean?
I think where Elle's going with this is where QAnon should have gone with it.
They should have come up with this cockamamie idea That, like, AOC is, like, in her mid-50s, but because AOC is just absolutely topped off on that adrenochrome, she's still the smoke show that she is now.
Because, like, that's their big thing with Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, is that they're just, they're like, I hate her so much and I wish she would date me!
Oh, she's so beautiful!
And, like, they just have that radiating incel energy around her.
So if they want to, like, kill two birds with one stone, that needs to be their adrenochrome story, like, origin story with her.
Is that, like, oh yeah, this story about her being, like, out of college a few years, and, like, a bartender, that's all bullshit.
There's, like, documentation that, like, she was born in, like, the late 60s, and then, like, one thing leads to another, and yet, like, here she is now, not looking a day past, like, 28!
Like, that's adrenochrome for you folks!
Like, Go hard on AOC being just an adrenochrome vampire, and that's why she looks good.
I mean, that's... I mean, they have... How can she look good and also secretly be a man?
See, that would make too many QAnon supporters question parts of their sexuality that dare not be questioned.
I'd have dinner with her either way.
That all sounds good.
She's generally fun and attractive.
So yeah, let's go.
We could talk about whatever nerd stuff you've prepared for in advance.
It'd be great.
She is, like, one of the only women in the left that I know of that QAnon hasn't gone hard on the whole transgender thing about.
I just, um, I don't know if that's, like, about, like, their, again, that incel energy is, like, just so aggressive that they just can't do it to her.
They just can't be like, Yeah, she's also a man, too, because they're just cranking it to her so much that they're just like, no, no, I'm going to give her a pass on the trans stuff, because if I put that in my head... My wiener knows what's up.
My wiener knows a lady when it sees one.
Exactly.
That's absolutely what's going on there.
I never hit hard when I see Nancy Pelosi, obviously a guy.
That's like the ultimate in gaydar technology, in the mind of an incel,
just a penis that literally won't get hard except for like a female presenting like a fab person.
Just like, no deal!
My weiner is so smart, it only gets hard for the most womanier women!
Let it be known, Al has the smartest wiener on this podcast.
The Adventures in Hell World podcast where fog is sad air and we have smart wieners.
We're just covering all the bases today.
You know what?
I was going to refute that, but I'll just take the compliment.
Thank you.
My wiener is very smart.
My wiener is smart enough to get hard over many different types of people.
You're welcome, bud.
It's like music.
Why are you only going to stick to one genre, man?
Why do you only want him to play the hits, bro?
Go for some deep cuts.
Not mean?
Yeah.
Get it.
Yes.
Oh, man.
All right.
I think at this point of the podcast, it's time for me to take a nice big handful of sellout pills because it's time for us to talk about our Reaper Roundup.
Gather around, folks.
It's time for the Rono Roundup.
I hadn't heard that bump.
I've been gone.
We only played the bump like once, like a million years ago.
And I so obstinately refused to call it the Road Around Death.
We all know what we're here to talk about.
We're here to talk about the grim specter of death looming over all, giving them out their prizes.
Yeah, the Herman Cain Awards section of the podcast.
So Doug Kuzma, who was part of the group of guys who had been a victim of the quote-unquote anthrax attack at that convention that Joel Altman who uh trapezoid trapezoid and now we had the conversation
about his uh damning evidence and the doodle gate thing uh so doug kuzma had uh posted some
stuff about how it wasn't going great for him and he was probably gonna have to go on a
ventilator and uh now he's dead so yeah so so i mean but uh if you're according to q anon uh that was
an anthrax death uh That was not, in fact, a COVID death.
The COVID merely weakened his immune system to the point where the anthrax killed him.
There are no COVID deaths, man!
Exactly, exactly.
So he passed away from the COVID.
And then Kelly Cannon, who is another aggressive anti-vaxxer who had been celebrating the fact that she was never going to bow down to medical tyranny and all that good stuff, also COVID and passed away.
And the thing is, is that now that we have this, Omicron is practically like the most transmittable virus we've seen in like ever in like recorded history.
So all of these QAnon people who are posting all these stats and they're just like,
Hey, look at all these cases of COVID.
I thought these vaccines were supposed to solve something.
Obviously, this proof the vaccine doesn't work.
If Omicron had hit us first, like the world would have been destroyed.
This is so transmittable.
We'd not be in a good way, that's for sure.
No!
Oh no, yeah, if we didn't have vaccines at this point for this, we would be fucked.
I mean, like the whole fake American lockdowns that we did, that would not have been tenable.
We would have had to do real big boy lockdowns, like in Australia and New Zealand.
And then you would have had crazy pants people trying to break those lockdowns, getting Omicron, and a lot of them would have died.
I mean, even if, and the other thing that was like really, that kicked off at the start of Omicron was that it was so contagious and it was so transmittable.
And early signs in like South Africa had been like, hey, not a lot of people are dying from this.
It's milder.
The QAnon was just like, yes, Omicron is the white hat cure to the Delta virus.
We definitely talked about that.
Here comes Chad Omicron to save us all.
The white hat version.
The white hat.
Here comes Chad Omicron to save us all.
Right. So we had this dumb narrative that QAnon had created around this.
And now it's just like, oh wait, it's actually not that mild.
It's actually killing people.
This is quite bad.
Yeah, it's actually killing people at roughly the same clip as like Delta and Alpha did.
And oops.
And because it's incredibly more virulent, um, if you're unvaccinated, you're very likely to get it, you're very likely to transmit it to all of your unvaccinated friends, and then, yeah, like, one to three percent of those people are gonna die, but... Wow, would you put it like that?
Maybe Omicron really is the Chad virus we needed to... Basically free!
Oh, wait a minute.
Sorry, I forgot.
I'm supposed to be on sell-out and all now.
Yeah.
Maybe they need to up my dose.
I'm so sorry that all these fuckin' unvaccinated idiots are catching Omicron and dying.
It really bums me out, I promise.
I'm so bummed out, guys!
I don't know what the French pronunciation of José is, but José Everard, a member of the French Constituent Assembly, he too was an anti-vaxxer, part of the French Congress, who contracted COVID and died.
So what blows my mind about these people is Don't they know that this is all, like, kayfabe?
Don't they know that, like, vaccine denial is just pro-rasslin'?
Where you go in the back room, you get the vaccine, like Tucker did, like Laura Ingraham did, like every employee of Fox did, like Trump did and he brags about it.
You go and get the vaccine, and then after you do that, then you rail against them.
But you don't actually, like, you don't actually have skin in the game.
You don't actually, like, don't take it.
And run the risk.
I mean, because, as for all the bullshit QAnon says about, oh, the pure bloods, it's like, no, dude.
Like, if you took a blood sample of someone with a vaccine and someone who was unvaccinated, never in a million years could you figure out which was which.
No, like, it doesn't impact your blood that way.
It doesn't alter your DNA.
It doesn't turn you into a human-alien hybrid.
You're not a reptiloid if you get the vaccine.
No, it makes it so God can't see you anymore and you can't get into heaven.
Oh, right, yeah, yeah.
Our all-powerful God gets tricked by our vaccines and he loses sight of his beloved creations.
I forgot.
I brought that up at Christmas and my one aunt who just, like, Kind of got it.
It was just like, oh, so that's what the booster is.
It lets God see you again.
And I was like, that's a good one.
That's a good one.
It's so great.
Yeah, I just, it really, it just, you're really high on your own supply if you are, like, a member of Congress.
I mean, that just, that just blows my mind that you would actually, like, you strive, you work so hard, you actually achieve success in your real life, and then you're just, like, so You're just so lost that you actually get to the point where you're like, no, I sincerely hold my anti-vaccine principles as a reality.
Like I really believe in this shit.
I've like so lost the plot that I don't understand.
I'm just supposed to do this shit to scam suckers for money and votes and credibility.
Like, I'm actually just gonna do it.
I'm not gonna get the vaccine either!
And then the next thing you know, you're dying.
And then you're just like, oops!
I guess the Tricom bioweapon that's also harmless... God, it's just so frustrating their mythology around this virus.
It's so nonsensical.
But, um...
Yeah, I mean, we had that bout at Delta before where all these different right-wing radio hosts were dropping dead from COVID and no one from Fox News was dropping dead of COVID.
And it kind of told you who's actually playing the game and who's an actual true believer.
And that's what makes me, that's what just, it just blows my mind that this is like what's happening where you, You can't see reality, and you actually buy into this shit.
And it just goes to show that anyone can be conned.
It really is striking to me that that's a thing.
I hope that... I mean, I don't hope, but hey, I hope.
I mean, it would be hilarious if in 2024, Michael Flynn was on the cusp of winning the Republican nomination, and then he just got laid out with COVID.
And it was like, nope, Michael Flynn was a nut.
He just actually didn't get vaccinated.
He truly believed in this shit.
He rolled the dice for many years, and then it caught up to him.
Like, that would just be, like, a perfect, like, storybook ending to all this shit for him.
And also, while we're here in the Rona Roundup, special shout out to that plane full of Canadian teens, or whatever, the Canadian college students.
The influencers?
Yeah, who went on their totally unsafe, not COVID-friendly plane ride down to Cancun or whatever, and they got fucking stranded there as their government refused to allow them back in the country.
They were just like, hey, you guys took a bunch of vines and TikToks, uh, vines, uh, you guys took a bunch of TikToks and Instagrams, uh, showing you partying on this plane and passing around vodka bottles and doing vaping and nobody with a mask on and yada yada.
So, uh, how about, how about no Canada for you?
And then you get to hear their, their, their, their snotty, tearful, uh, pleas just being like, oh my God, I didn't know it was going to happen!
Please let me back into Canada!
So funny.
Like, if you're a fan of Scheidenfreude, I highly recommend reading the appeals those people are making to their government until you can't let back into the country.
I didn't think those regulations were for me, because I'm totally white.
Yes, they're for you and for everybody, and enjoy being stranded in another country.
Please continue to write us letters complaining about how expensive hotels are when you have to live in them every day for your whole life because you were a dumb fuck who couldn't just not party during COVID.
Oh, man.
Yeah, it's that whole thing about you're the protagonist, like, the rules don't apply to me, I'm not gonna get COVID, none of this stuff is gonna happen, and then when you fuck around and find out, oh, woe is me, oh, how could this happen?
And it's like, everyone told you it was gonna happen.
Literally everyone.
The government, the news, the world was like, if you film yourself breaking all these quarantine protocols, For your government specifically.
I mean, Joe Rogan had a sold out show in Canada and Canada was just like, no, you're not vaccinated.
You're openly not vaccinated.
You are not allowed in our country.
You can't come in.
He's like, well, I guess I got to cancel.
I mean, it's not going to hurt his, his bottom line any, but he was just like, I guess I don't get to do my sold out show in Canada.
It's like, yeah, fuck Ed.
Oh, QAnon was so happy about that.
They were thrilled.
Yeah, Joe Rogan's standing up!
Like, he's walking the walk and talking the talk.
He's so brave.
I love Joe Rogan.
And it's like, Joe Rogan, he might have enjoyed doing that show, but he doesn't need it.
He doesn't care.
I mean, the world can't touch him.
He defeated capitalism by being a dumb bro who Now panders to the worst impulses of the right wing in our society.
Well, another hero gets to be that tennis pro, right?
Novak or whatever his name is.
Oh yeah, Novak Djokovic.
I saw a guy posted a thing on social media where like, Djokovic did not back down and now God will reward him with the Australian Open Championship.
Yeah, he's gonna win this.
God, who, you know, let World War II happen and all that shit.
God's gonna micromanage a tennis tournament so some rich millionaire can win another trophy for his trophy case.
Because God cares about that shit on a very detailed level.
I genuinely hope and wish, this is an honest wish, that if we ever get to the point where we can do a live show, our first live show is at the Satanic Temple.
The Satanic Temple, like, in Salem?
Have you seen that place?
It's incredibly small.
Yeah, listen, I don't have big hopes for our... I'm aware of its size.
Don't let logistical issues get in the way of Sarge's edge.
His edge-lording.
We're all gonna drive up to the show in a hearse.
We're gonna get those African pallbearers to carry our casket in and then they're gonna drop us on stage and we're gonna emerge.
It's a show of $1,500 a piece.
I'd love to be able to say we sold out our first show and that we only needed to sell 30 tickets.
That's why we sold out.
Dream big, Sarge.
Dream big.
I dream reasonably to start.
Someday stadiums.
Yeah, for now, that tiny black house in Salem, Massachusetts.
Yeah, I remember a couple years ago, I may have been pre-RONA, I don't remember, but I kind of did a sightseeing tour of Salem and took a bunch of photographs and stuff, and I stopped by the Satanic Temple, and I had a tweet up that was like, QAnon's worst nightmare!
And people were like, what is that?
And I'm like, it's the home of the Church of Satan in Massachusetts.
Well, it doesn't look like anything to me, and I'm like, yeah, I know.
I mean, that black house that got turned into a church was a lot more iconic and interesting in Salem than the current Satanic Temple is.
Man, do you bet the people who run the Satanic Temple are, like, kicking themselves that that property wasn't available by the time they got going in Salem?
They had to be.
They had to be.
I mean, oh my god.
This is some serious, deep-cut Salem talk for everybody.
But for those who know, for the Salem townies that are listening to the show, all two of you, man, we are nailing that demographic because that house was, like, fucking the shit.
That was such a ridiculously iconic house.
They even had the sign on the side of it saying, not a church, get over it.
I mean, it was just...
That thing was just 100% Salemite.
Yeah.
And definitely not the Church of Satan, which is a different black house in Salem, apparently.
I've never been to the Church of Satan.
Yeah, it's incredibly boring.
We'll have to go by there one day, and you can just look at it and go, wow.
Wow.
Sarge was really dreaming small.
Sarge was just, Sarge was really dreaming small.
So yeah.
Indeed.
Yeah.
Yeah.
All right, speaking of dreaming small, are we ready to get into our listener questions?
You still have to get put into me.
Our listeners got questions, we got answers.
It's time for Q and A. The audience loves it when you abuse them a little bit.
Yes, yes.
It's a super tad move.
That's how you know that I'm really wheel bearing my testicles around, is because I occasionally abuse our audience by accusing their questions about being dreaming small.
That's right, I'm questioning your ability to dream big.
Got him!
Take that, audience.
We showed you who was boss.
No, wait, please come back.
Oh God, no.
This is perhaps mis- Patriot.com slash PokerPolitik!
We miss you!
So our host from last week, R.N.
Shark, asks, how deep do you think he is willing to lean into this?
Or should I say, how deep are the anon's pockets?
How will Ronnie, my favorite opera star of the night, use this as a talking point and fundraiser?
Can't wait.
And it's a link to a story about how Our boy, Fincham, the guy running for, Mark Fincham, who's running for the Attorney General of, no, Secretary of State of Arizona, is now going to be an actual speaker at the Trump rally in Arizona that's upcoming this week.
And Fincham has made it clear that he's basically a QAnon believer, and in it to win it.
100% supports the big lie, 100% supports all the nonsense that QAnon promotes and parrots.
He's aiming for the QAnon vote exclusively, so...
The fact that you're getting a dyed-in-the-wool QAnon believer at a Trump rally is not a great look, even though Donny Vaccines is working really hard for everyone to admit they got the booster, you miserable cowards.
On the other side, he's also platforming.
Yeah, he's also platforming the people that are talking about how the bad guys drink blood of children, even though it doesn't give them very cool powers.
Although it may make AOC extra sexy, I don't know.
Yeah.
And so I, yeah, it's just the continuing merger of the Republican party and QAnon.
Like they're, they're basically inseparable at this point.
Like if you're a Republican voter, if you're a Republican candidate running for office, you kind of have to know how to pander to QAnon to get those votes.
Cause if you're in a primary, someone's going to go for those votes.
And if you aren't a big enough fish where you can actually just tell QAnon to fuck off.
You might have to dip your toe in those waters also, because that's how you win an election, by getting more votes than the other guy, and sadly... John Madden here.
Yeah, I know.
Oh, God.
Boom.
Tough Acton-Tin-Acton.
Not a sponsor of the podcast, sadly, but get out of Athlete's Foot spray.
Rest in power, King.
Yeah.
But, uh...
Like, uh, today I saw that there's two different lunatics running against Greg Abbott in Texas.
I didn't even- I know Allen West was running, but now there's a different guy that's also running that's just like, Greg Abbott isn't racist enough for me, so I'm gonna replace him.
And when I'm the governor of Texas, well, we're just gonna get rid of all the non-whites.
Don Huffings is apparently running in Alan West's lane of crazy people trying to unseat the current crazy Republican governor of Texas.
So, I mean, it's just a race to the bottom and there is no actual bottom for the Republican Party.
They will never stop getting crazier and more fascist and more divorced from reality.
I mean, it's just who they are at this point.
There's no separating them.
Yep, so thank you for the question.
Up next, apparently our friend Shark thought that being one of our most generous patrons and also hosting the show gave her the power for a second question, which I will grant her this one time.
Absolutely does.
But you're pushing your luck!
You're pushing your luck, Shark!
What are they saying about the death of Kristen W?
Has anyone said she was deep state and that Donald finally put one down for the Patriots, or did they miss the opportunity for another victim of the Soros, Abramovich, Oprah, Beyonce, pedophile, snowflake culture?
Kristen, I'd saved her from the Rona Roundup because she was another person who died of COVID recently.
And QAnon's response to this has been total silence.
They have ignored it totally because it ruins their narrative.
They don't like talking about actual QAnon promoters who are supposed to be able to cure themselves of ivermectin and hydroxychloroquine and all that other bullshit that they've been peddling.
If you're a QAnon promoter and you die of COVID, that's like an impossibility.
That's like a thing that can't happen because you know the secret truth about what the real cures are.
So when that happens, you just get unpersoned immediately.
Like, you died of COVID, guess what?
I don't know her.
Who is she?
Was she anybody?
Cut to all these photographs of you hanging out with her at various QAnon conventions, rallies, whatever.
Nope, don't know them.
It's like the photos of Stalin, where all of his various people that he has murdered are photoshopped out.
I mean, this is how they are.
Are any of those photos of Trump with Epstein?
Yes!
Oh, Trump was just keeping his enemies closer.
That's all that was.
Where it's just like you show up to a QAnon supporter and just like a Westworld character, they're like, it doesn't look like anything to me.
I always made a Westworld joke earlier.
Oh, yeah.
So yeah, their their response there is just deafening silence because they don't want
to talk about that because because they have the they have the real the real answers.
They're the ones talking about the stuff that we're going to get into from the question from Cleodora Silvestri, who has changed their name to be, is right-clicking on all your NFTs.
That's right!
Your NFTs are now in the possession of Cleodora.
You no longer have your Bored Ape.
It is now somebody else's Bored Ape.
And they ask, anti-vaxxers have so far taken hydroxychloroquine, ivermexin, peroxide, eaten dirt, and are now drinking urine.
What is the over-under that they will finally commit to eating actual shit?
Um...
I love this question because it's a funny thing to think about
and genuinely possible in the not-too-distant future.
Yeah. Yes.
I feel like if we could get into the ear of the right QAnon supporter, we could make a shit-eating trend amongst QAnon people happen tomorrow.
I don't doubt this.
Like, if we somehow got Praying Medic to say that they received a vision and God told them that eating shit is the only way, I bet we could get at least a handful of QAnon supporters to have shit in their mouths before nightfall.
More than zero.
Yes, more than zero.
I think you kind of have to start it off as being kind of, like, New Wave and, like, high-end stuff.
It's like that coffee that, like, elephants or lemurs, like, eat the beans and then shit them out and then they extract the, like, digested beans out of the crap and then they make coffee out of it.
And, like, people pay, like, huge money for that coffee.
So, I mean, if you can, like, start us down the road on that level I think you can get there.
I think you can actually get these idiots to do that, especially if they can sell it.
If they can monetize the COVID-curing shit, they will do it immediately.
I mean, that will 100% be a thing.
I mean, I'm assuming that the growth would have to be like, yo, I'm unvaccinated, my shit contains the antibodies you need, so I will be happy to sell you my shit so you can eat it to get a 100% organic, you know, government tamper-free cure for all your Rona ailments.
Please eat my feces.
Please eat my feces.
It's like the guy from Mids Warehouse.
You're going to love the way my shit tastes.
I guarantee it.
I was going to go with bat guano because like bats are like the whole,
like the bat viruses what started COVID.
So I was thinking, you do this thing where you talk about how you've found bats that are immune to COVID because they've had this virus running through their communities for centuries.
So you've harvested guano from like just, like just COVID infested bats.
And obviously the, the, uh, immunities, the immune properties that the bats have
transfers through the guano.
So eat, eat bat shit and you're going to be fine and you're gonna be great.
So you just go in the bat caves.
You just swab some crap off the walls.
You sell to suckers.
You make big bank.
It's easy peasy.
Do you suppose Donald Trump could sell his own Duke and have people eat it?
Oh, a hundred percent.
Oh, no doubt.
No doubt at all.
Do you suppose, would he even have to claim that it had any special properties?
Or could it just come in a paper bag that just says Donald Trump shit and they would just tuck in?
This is a tale as old as time.
The Catholic Church would preserve the poop of saints and say it was holy.
Like, there's nothing new under the sun and there's no new grifts.
Yeah, but I don't think the Catholic priest was trying to eat that saintly poop.
No, they were just holding it and blessing people with it.
Yeah, but that's what I'm saying.
The question that we're answering is, do we think QAnon anti-vaxxers will eat shit?
Yes.
I mean, yes.
And then our riffs are supposed to be, how do we get them... We don't want them to be softly cradling a Trumpy, like a Trumpy-Dumpy, like swaddled in a blanket like a baby.
We want them to be manja.
You can't see me, but I'm making the... Yeah, no, I know what you're doing.
I'm doing the entertaining thing.
Yes.
Guys, we did it.
We broke our record.
We've talked about eating shit for the longest we ever have on the podcast.
Yes.
I was like, man, coming back.
2022, baby!
Coming back from a month of not doing this.
It's gonna be rough.
Gotta kick the rust off.
Get these tires spitted again.
Alright.
Ten minutes talking about shit-eating.
Yes.
Hey!
I mean... I'm proud of us.
Hey, we got through the whole Let's Go Brandon Quinn thing without making a single Cars reference, I believe.
I was so tempted to try to work in Lightning McQueen there, but I didn't.
I saved it for our eating shit segment.
Yes.
I'm proud of you.
Take that, Cars.
You get relegated to the shit-eating section of the podcast.
Yeah.
Proud of you, buddy.
So, yeah.
So, thank you for the question, Cleodora.
And we now go to Zef Marshak, who asks, how unified are the conspiracists politically at
this point?
If Trump were not to run, would they fracture between Linz guy and Flynn's guy?
Would they get back together behind the eventual nominee or would they keep fighting Hillary
Bernie style?
I.
I I absolutely do think that there's no way if there was
actually two rival factions fighting each other that they would be able to heal the rift between
the two sides and present a unified front against the Democrats in 2024.
I mean, on the one hand, there would be people trying to peacekeeper that shit.
There would be people being like, look guys, it sucks that the Linwood-endorsed crazy person didn't win the Republican nomination.
Biden is a blood-drinking pedophile, so we have to go against him.
But then there would be people, and probably Linwood himself would be like, yeah, get fucked with that!
My guy got jobbed and you know it!
Like, these elections are rigged!
Biden's gonna win anyways because it's rigged!
I will never, I mean... So I just, I really don't think that there is gonna be that kumbaya moment where everyone lets bygones be bygones and they just, like, they just roll with it and they try to actually beat the Democrats.
I don't know how big that block of non-voting QAnon supporters would be, but it would exist.
I mean, imagine if Trump ran in 2024 and he didn't win the nomination.
I mean, QAnon would just walk away from the party immediately.
2024 and he didn't win the nomination.
I mean, QAnon would just walk away from the party immediately.
They would write in Trump.
You would get all these people with like photographs of their ballot in the ballot
and when they were in the booth with like Trump's name written in just being like,
fuck both parties.
Like, hashtag Trump's my president forever!
Oh, God.
Like...
If they had the possibility of having their binky where Trump was alive, unindicted, and ran for the nomination and didn't get it, if their binky was available to them and they couldn't vote for him, oh God, they would just shut down immediately.
No chance in hell they would back DeSantis or whatever milquetoast centrist piece of garbage the Republicans put up for them to support.
Here's your chance to vote for Mitt Romney again!
Boo!
Pelts Mitt Romney with rotten fruit and vegetables.
I mean, oh man.
Like that would be an absolute dumpster fire for the Republicans trying to curry the QAnon vote.
So, uh, yeah.
What else we got?
I guess I covered all that.
So our final question from the audience is from The Nerdy Horror Fan, and they ask, how many votes do you think Ron Watkins will actually get if he doesn't pull out of his bid for Congress?
Like single digits, double, or more than we think?
Or do you think any money he gets from grifting and disappear right before the voting actually starts?
If you haven't seen it, I don't know if I brought it up last week, but Ron started Posting his merch store for his run for Congress and literally everything, the hat, the t-shirt, the tote bag, whatever, everything on the store was $30.
And he made the statement that $10 of every purchase goes into my campaign, which means $20 goes right into my pocket where it's staying, you suckers.
So I really have to see what the Republican primary field for that district looks like.
And it's probably going to be really competitive because the Republicans have redrawn the districts, they've gerrymandered it.
And O'Halloran, the Democrat who is the only Democrat representative from Arizona, He was in District 1, and now he's in District 2, and he made a post where he's like, District 2's a lot more Republican than District 1 was, but I've never shied away from a fight, and I will always represent the good people of Arizona to the best of my abilities, so I say to the Republicans, bring it on!
And so...
Like because if you're a Republican who wants to win a seat, this looks like a seat that's winnable because of Democrats holding it.
And now it's probably like a, like a plus Republican district.
There's probably more Republican voters than Democrat voters.
You would think the serious candidates would actually be jumping into that district to try to win it instead of Ron Watkins, the QAnon moron being their representative.
So I really don't think Ron has that much of a chance, but.
I went to Ballotopedia, and the people running in that district at the moment, and Ron wasn't even listed, they got it wrong, they still have him in District 1, not District 2, but the people running in District 2 seemed mostly clown shoes.
There was like one lady who ran for, like, county college chancellor or something, it was like a non-party affiliated office, and she beat somebody, so like, At least one person in the group had an election under their belt, but I didn't see any blue chippers showing up to take this custom-made district for a Republican to win it.
Long story short, he's running a grift.
He is running yet another grift, and he just has a merch store because he knows QAnonDumDums will buy his merch regardless of what he puts out there.
And it seems really unlikely that he's just gonna take the money and run, because he can keep milking these people for money if he just, like, grifts until the vote then gets smashed.
He could just be like, well, we fought the good fight, and we did everything we could, and we didn't win, but maybe again in the future.
Please keep giving me your money.
Yeah, and even if it goes bad, even if he doesn't win, he won't.
Then he can just say, oh well, we lost.
And I'm already firing up to get the funds for my next campaign.
Like, it's so easy.
It's right there.
The writing is on the wall.
Oh, absolutely.
I mean, that's the thing.
The other thing is that he can obviously just claim voter fraud.
He can obviously just claim that Dominion screwed him.
I mean, who knows if he's going to be willing to shake and poke the stick at that bear.
He can obviously claim that he got jobbed by nefarious means.
He doesn't have to just say, oh, well, I lost.
Big ups to the people that beat me.
I hope you beat that evil Democrat in the general election.
I mean, he can just throw a fit and tell people to write in Ronnie Watts in the general election or whatever.
I mean, there's lots of different ways he could go with it.
But yeah, the grift ending and him slinking off quietly into the night, that's not one of the options he's going to take.
No.
But it's all right there.
It's super obvious.
Absolutely, absolutely.
And so, our final question, as always, is what are you looking forward to?
Uh, well, I got a PlayStation 5, finally, and I am looking forward to... Yeah, Mike's shaking his fist at me.
I managed to score one, and it was while I was out traveling, so, uh, friend of the pod, and my personal friend, picked it up for me and it was here waiting for me when I
got home and I was so I'm looking forward to Play some more of that when we're done
You lucky dog you scoundrel, yeah It looks like I'm quickly becoming one of the few people I
know that haven't yet managed to get their hands on a ps5 I'm going to go ahead and close this out.
Not that I especially want one, but I mean, I do have a little bit of FOBO, despite the fact that my intellectual brain tells me that there's nothing to fucking play on it yet.
That new game from the Dark Souls people does look pretty cool though.
Yeah, Elden Ring.
I have that.
Open world Dark Souls or whatever.
The open world is a gimmick that is like a force multiplier.
It does make me a lot more interested in.
Yeah I'm interested or I'm looking forward to hopefully finally being able to play some uh get back to doing some board gaming.
There's a lot of shit going on the past couple of weeks so it's been cutting into my fucking board game time and I'd really like to play uh A bunch of stuff that has come out slash I just got my hands on for the holiday season, including but not limited to Obsession, Brian Barrow.
I wouldn't mind playing some more Clank and Space, some Rez Arcana.
Nice.
And I feel like there was one more that I'm missing.
Oh, Tapestry.
There we go.
Boom.
So there's some quick board game recommendos for people who are listening, because that is a short list of stuff that I am excited to play more of.
Especially Brian Barrow.
That game is surprisingly good.
And I guess it's kind of hard to find at the moment.
What is that game about?
Is Obsession the court intrigue game?
Yeah, Obsession is the Pride and Prejudice style board game where you build a fancy estate and host fancy events for fancy people to try to catch the eye of a duke or a duchess.
That's awesome.
It's got a bunch of sweet custom meeples to represent your, like, footmen and handmaids and butlers and do-unter butler.
Do-unter butler, yeah.
And there's an expansion that adds cooks and some other type of job.
There's an expansion that adds two different type of meeple.
Yeah, that game's really fun.
I played it about a year, more than a year, maybe 18 months ago or so, with Sarge, and then I've been trying to get my hands on a copy, but it's been out of print for a little while.
They just got their most recent big boy order off of the boats that had been stalled due to Rona, so there were 20,000 copies available, and I pre-ordered one of them.
Yeah, Obsession is a good time.
Brian Beru was an area control game.
It's like a plate spinning.
There are tracks you have to manage, kind of.
But the end result is that you want to be conquering Ireland or Britain or whatever it is.
I don't know.
I'm bad with geography.
If it's not America, I don't know a lot about it.
Yeah.
Yeah, so I'm excited to get back into the board game saddle.
That's my goal once I'm done sort of taking a time out from social interaction to see if I develop any Rona-like symptoms following my vacay.
Yeah, I actually finally got to play my first game of Spirit Island, which was fun.
I think we screwed up.
I think because we kind of won too easily, and I think we made a lot of mistakes.
So we probably didn't give the board as much power because that's like a pandemic game where it's a cooperative battle against the board situation.
So I'm looking forward to trying that again, hopefully making sure that either we just dominated and we need to actually start doing the challenge modes or not.
Beyond that, I'm looking forward to just editing and working on my book that I finished like a couple weeks ago.
Hey, nice!
Yeah, and I've had a few people ask me about the book and about editing, and DJ Minimal Effort has been looking at the book for editing purposes, and I sent it to a couple other QAnon researchers that I trust, mostly because I had been talking to someone about publishing the book and I was getting really bad vibes in the sense that they were just sort of like, yeah, we'll just talk to management and it'll all be bingo, bingo, bongo.
It'll be all easy breezy.
And I'm like, Don't you have to review my book and read it and see if I'm not plagiarizing?
And then the whammy hit me where they were like, we love your book and in order to publish it you need to pay us like $4,000 over the course of the next year.
And I was like, no, no, I will not do that.
So like going on Amazon Spaces or whatever and learning how Kindle works.
So yeah, so that's gonna be a magical little adventure.
And I'm also trying to improve the audio quality of my room.
For Sarge and Elle who are looking at me, they can see a giant blanket resting on one of my walls that I put there for noise deadening.
Cause I, I definitely want to like, uh, also do an audio book version of it because I think that's a real easy way to, uh, have people like take in the knowledge of it.
Cause this book is just literally my cue is always wrong.
Thread just made Meteor more massive and expansive.
And then it also has to cover the last year where there were no Q drops to dunk on because Q quit and gave up on this crap.
So yeah.
That's awesome, man.
Just, just getting crackalackin on that.
So yeah.
Well, good stuff!
With all of our hopeful wishes and dreams being aired out, it is time for us to strap ourselves to the giant ACME rocket and blast our way, hopefully, out of Hellworld and not to explode all over the launch pad like so much Wile E. Coyote.
Thank you everybody for listening.
It's been a blast getting back into it after a week or longer away in Sarge's case.
We appreciate your continued support.
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As always, I need to thank DJ Minimal Effort, who remains too cool for social media, for the use of our wonderful theme song and its Castlevania-esque chippy bips and bops.
The voice of Q, the voice of our drops and our content warning and everything in between is our voiceover artist Frosty, who you can find on Twitter at FrostyVO.
If you can't get enough of myself and Sarge, we have a spinoff podcast where we talk about pop media.
It's been on a little bit of hiatus due to holiday craziness, but we will be getting back to it this week.
So you can find us over at the Binge Wordy Podcast.
That's B-I-N-G-E-W-O-R-D-Y.
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You can also find us on Twitter at Binge Wordy.
So, once again, it's good to be back, everybody.
Thank you, our beautiful babies, for listening.
We love you, and you know that we do.
And I am going to be signing out, as always, for myself, Hellworld Elle, the bald but still beautiful Hellworld Sarge, and our incredible expert at all things QAnon crazy, Mr. Mike Rains.