Dr. Seuss has been canceled and QAnon is picking sides in a fight where they hate everyone, also way more Smurf talk than you ever thought possible. Get bonus content on PatreonSupport this show http://supporter.acast.com/hellwqrld. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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| Hello, everybody, and welcome to another episode of Adventures in Hellworld. | |
| I am Mike Rains, a.k.a. | |
| Poker and Politics, and I am joined, as always, by Sarge. | |
| Hello from the internet, with my cat. | |
| With a cat on top of it. | |
| And the mysterious Elle. | |
| What up, my beautiful babies? | |
| L is Sans Cat, as it were, this week. | |
| So yeah, this week we have a bunch of news. | |
| We have Dr. Seuss getting cancelled. | |
| We have the Trump RNC ruckus and all kinds of other fun and frivolity going on on that front. | |
| But as always, we have to let people know that talking about QAnon can take you to some dark places. | |
| Content Warning The Adventures in Hellworld Podcast talks in-depth about QAnon, which means we have to talk about all kinds of child abuse and violence against people. | |
| Listener discretion advised. | |
| Wow, yeah, content warning remix there at the beginning as there's a slight audio hiccup that never happens on the show. | |
| It's never happened once. | |
| Never, not never. | |
| So, as a quick aside before we get into today's news, I have once again run into a beef with a major QAnon promoter in a Our beautiful, bleach-drinking, UFO-believing baby boy, Jordan Sather, got mad at a post I made. | |
| And he got mad within, like, five minutes. | |
| Like, he is stalking me that, like, he was able to reply to this so quickly, where I accused him of being a anti-Semite, because he fucking is. | |
| And he said, I wish I could sue him for libel. | |
| And all of his fans were like, yeah, do it! | |
| You'll win! | |
| To which I say, please do. | |
| Please, please drag me to court, Jordan. | |
| Please throw me into that briar patch, you dumb, dumb idiot. | |
| Because that would be hilarious, having you defending, talking about getting rid of all of them using the triple parentheses, which is the neo-Nazi way of indicating a person or a group is Jews. | |
| Maybe he just wants to eliminate parentheses. | |
| He's very anti-punctuation. | |
| You know what, he is against parentheticals. | |
| They're way too overused in literature, and he is taking a strong stand against them. | |
| Your sarcasm inside parentheses doesn't fly with Jordan Sather. | |
| Get fucked with that shit. | |
| If you want to be witty, be witty in the actual text. | |
| Don't, like, do the whole Deadpool-break-the-fourth-wall-with-the-parenthetical shit. | |
| Yeah, no asides in your fucking sentences. | |
| Your sentence is supposed to get to the point, and we don't need any damn asides. | |
| Nope. | |
| Damn right. | |
| If you need to tell me something else, make it a new sentence. | |
| God damn it. | |
| I'm on his side. | |
| We have to get rid of them parentheses. | |
| So, yes, Jordan Sather sowing division in our podcast with his aggressive grammar policing. | |
| But also, yes, please, again, file the lawsuit. | |
| Defend yourself and your bullshit, because QAnon's anti-Semitic. | |
| Your co-host on your podcast is aggressively anti-Semitic and proud of it. | |
| And also, after you made that post, it was really funny. | |
| One of my followers was just like, you guys don't get it. | |
| Jordan is incredibly stupid. | |
| He almost assuredly didn't know what the triple parentheses meant. | |
| He's just a clown who saw it somewhere and thought it was edgy. | |
| And then we all replied to that person and we said it was Pratt Computer, I think is the follower's name. | |
| We replied to him and we were like, but he knew what it was after we told him and he didn't delete it. | |
| And that's the thing. | |
| Jordan's one of those guys who would never back down ever. | |
| He would double and triple down on anything. | |
| So if you didn't know or you're an anti-Semite before you posted that shit, guess what? | |
| You found out really fast and you still stood up for it. | |
| So, tough break. | |
| Just have to be careful what we say so we don't step on any rakes. | |
| We have to couch everything in legalese when we talk about Jordan Sather now. | |
| Yes, we have to make sure that it's just like, I'm not making any, any claims about this, but it is possible that Jordan Sanford has a micro penis. | |
| It is possible. | |
| I don't have the facts. | |
| I'm not making that claim personally, but it is possible that his penis is like extra tiny and there's a little gnome that lives underneath it. | |
| Like, like, like the God Emperor Trump, but like a smaller version of that. | |
| See, I heard it has a tiny door in it and a village of small blue people live in it. | |
| That would be a jarring Smurfs origin story. | |
| You don't even know how furious he was when those non-whites moved into his mushroom penis, allegedly. | |
| Possibly. | |
| That's my segue to Three Apples High, my podcast about Smurfs. | |
| Three Apples High. | |
| That's right. | |
| I find it is three apples high. | |
| It is a deep cut reference to all those Smurf heads out there. | |
| They are Smurfs are canonically three apples high. | |
| They say it all the fucking time. | |
| Wow, Smurfs are fucking gigantic. | |
| Yeah, I was like, we're like, you know, like a few inches high, not like I mean, holy shit. | |
| I'd be much more terrified of the Smurf Village than, like, the Chucky doll. | |
| I mean, they're not saying what kind of apples, because some apples are really small and some apples are really big. | |
| Also, I hate to bring it up so early in the podcast, but while I am happy that you did bring The punchline to that joke. | |
| I'm like, last time, you are learning. | |
| The problem is there was a better one there. | |
| The gritty teen young romance show presented by the CW, Three Apples High. | |
| It's about like sexy teenage smurfs like Riverdale in high school and their high school is called Three Apples High. | |
| You see what I'm saying? | |
| And it's a deep cut reference, apparently. | |
| You're making a joke, but I would watch that. | |
| I would watch that show right now. | |
| It would make the whole Smurfette thing way more uncomfortable. | |
| Could you imagine? | |
| I was about to mention that they would have to have more female Smurfs, because the whole thing about there only being one chick in that old group, if that's high school, that gets really bad. | |
| What if the whole school is queer coded? | |
| Now we're working. | |
| Oh, or what if it's, what if it's, okay, so what is this queer coded all male boarding | |
| school and Smurfette is like a lady administrator that's there? | |
| Well see you guys are working. | |
| I'm here to bring you to three apples high. | |
| Oh man, and Gargamel could be the evil like principal. | |
| Man, I'm good at this shit. | |
| CW! | |
| College boy! | |
| There's more than just Smurfette now. | |
| The most recent movie introduced an entire village of just female Smurfs. | |
| And within original Smurfs canon, there were two other female Smurfs. | |
| Gabby and then Grandma Smurf, when the Smurfs started time traveling. | |
| Okay, I'm going to have to pull this cart back under the rails at this point, but I am going to put a pin in the fact that Sarge knows, apparently, so much about the Smurfs that we are going to have to get back to that, but let's try to... First of all, we never got around to the shilling part of our show. | |
| I feel like at this point we've come too far. | |
| We will just ask people for money at the end. | |
| But we really should get to talking about Q, because that's, I think, what people are technically here for? | |
| I don't know. | |
| Well, I mean, I was talking about a QAnon promoter and his failed threat to sue me. | |
| Then we bridged from that incredibly serious topic to the incredibly serious topic of the Smurfs and their gritty CW reboot. | |
| So I think the level of actual legitimacy is about the same. | |
| We're pretty much at the exact same spot, because I think Jordan Sather's lawsuit is about the same as evil principal Gargamel. | |
| I don't know anything about the guy aside from what he posts on the internet, and what he posts on the internet is pretty wretched, so I can't imagine that he could ever come at you for damaging his reputation via the internet when he is doing that himself. | |
| I mean, you can't really get in trouble for just repeating, like, pointing to what somebody said and just being like, look at that! | |
| Yeah, it would be like Alex Jones getting mad at somebody calling him a racist and trying to sue them over it. | |
| It'd be like, yeah, it's going to work for you, buddy. | |
| But anyways, that's neither here nor there. | |
| There are a lot of current events that don't involve me at the center of them. | |
| And let's start talking about them. | |
| From the digital headlines to the digital front lines, it's Cues in the News! | |
| I can't believe that we're less than ten minutes in and we've already done like three minutes of material on Smurfs. | |
| This fucking shit is ridiculous. | |
| I can tell you a mystery for you. | |
| My brain is a worthless pile of garbage and I remember all the cartoons from my childhood and not anything useful. | |
| Anyway, time for a seamless segue. | |
| Speaking of Smurfs, something something, the Royal Interview happened. | |
| Yeah, nice one. | |
| Boom! | |
| Nailed it. | |
| L's smooth segues, he's just as good at those as he is making up CW television shows. | |
| I only hope we get famous enough that someone makes a super cut of all our amazing segues. | |
| I hope that I get rich enough that I can retire early and then start my fucking Segway tour business, L Smooth Segways. | |
| It would be really awkward because I'm too heavy for a Segway, so I would need to have a custom-made Segway chariot, or I would just be lightly jogging alongside these clouds. | |
| Like, take a look at the Grand Canyon, isn't it great? | |
| Anyway. | |
| Yeah. | |
| I love the sell job on the Grand Canyon. | |
| Isn't it great? | |
| The Grand Canyon doesn't sell itself. | |
| You've got to punch it up a little. | |
| Well, no, it does sell itself. | |
| I don't have to try hard. | |
| Look at it. | |
| I mean, take a look at the thing. | |
| Well, what am I going to tell you that the Grand Canyon isn't- I'm not here tryharding for the Grand Canyon. | |
| This is, the Grand Canyon is where my first death threat was supposed to result in. | |
| I was supposed to be thrown into the Grand Canyon by a QAnon promoter who wanted to kill me that way. | |
| Damn it, Mike, I won't send these things in. | |
| They weren't about you. | |
| They aren't, but they became about me because we started talking about the fucking Grand Canyon. | |
| But anyhow, we... | |
| We have the Royal Interview, which is a real weird thing for QAnon because it features basically all of their enemies kind of getting into a giant slap fight because QAnon hates the Royal Family because the British Crown turned us into the Corporation of America in 1871. | |
| Like, Queen Elizabeth is a reptiloid if you listen to David Icke and the other people that go down that terrible dark path. | |
| It's even mentioned in QAnon The Plan to Save the World by Joe M. They even have an ominous moment where they show Queen Elizabeth and they say, the crown. | |
| So you have those people who are bad. | |
| Then you have Harry and Meghan who are Evil because they are an interracial couple, they're quote-unquote woke, which is always a bad thing, and they're confronting the institutional racism of the British monarchy and all of those things, which is stuff that QAnon can't tolerate or abide by because there is no such thing as racism, and if you're a woke person you're terrible and awful and bad and we hate you. | |
| And then you got a third little splash in there because Oprah, who is of course one of the high priestesses of the Deep State, she's one of the great monsters of our society, was the one doing the interview. | |
| So QAnon fell back on one of their favorite tropes when it came to old Oprah, and they started circulating that Looks like she's wearing an ankle monitor, guys! | |
| She's got a boot over that ankle monitor. | |
| Boom! | |
| Oprah arrested this whole thing you see with the scenic vista in the background and Harry and Meghan on the other side of her. | |
| That's all a green screen. | |
| They're doing this on the set of where Oprah is currently in captivity under Patriot control. | |
| And when it's all done, Oprah will be taken back to her pen in the Supermax that she's doing time for, for the crimes that we haven't publicly arrested her for yet. | |
| So why do they let Oprah out to do interviews? | |
| Yeah. | |
| In this fiction? | |
| Because they have to ease the normies into accepting that Oprah is a cannibalistic pedophile. | |
| And if it was revealed before the Great Awakening, Our little normie heads would explode and we would like run into traffic or just like totally freak out. | |
| It would be like that 90 seconds in Kingsman when Samuel L. Jackson hits the button and we all start killing each other. | |
| That's basically the way QAnon views what would happen if the truth got out before it was dripped out to us in small little doses. | |
| Why don't they just take off her ankle bracelet? | |
| Uh, because they have to let, they have to let QAnon know she's arrested. | |
| They have to let us know. | |
| They have to send the high sign to the, to the red pill community that, yeah, we got Oprah. | |
| So, uh, by the way, you can, you can send those photos to your friends and slowly red pill them. | |
| Don't tell them about the adrenochrome. | |
| Don't tell them about the terrible crimes, but just let them know that Oprah's a bad person and she's going to go away for a very long time in the near future. | |
| You hear that, folks? | |
| Don't worry, your stupidest uncle is still receiving his secret communications from the media. | |
| But the good media. | |
| The good secret media that has Oprah arrested. | |
| Hot takes here, QAnon really doesn't seem to like powerful black women. | |
| They very much still think Michelle Obama's a man, right? | |
| There's this guy who is currently eating all the regular grifters' lunch. | |
| And I think he's one of the guys they hate. | |
| I haven't confirmed this, but there's a QAnon promoter who goes by the handle Ezra Ghost. | |
| Ghost Ezra is how he goes by on Telegram. | |
| And he, I think, is actually iTheSpy, who is universally hated by, quote unquote, like, serious QAnon promoters, because he's just so LARPy and so silly. | |
| And he's basically, he's basically Q on Twitter, is what he was before he got kicked off of Twitter. | |
| Because he's like, I'm off doing a secret mission, like, I'm talking to Trump, and we're gonna go in this place and arrest some bad guys. | |
| And he's just like, so obviously, a tryhard moron who's just I'm doing what QAnon would do if Q left 8kun, and people love it. | |
| People love the dumb LARP bullshit this guy does, so they follow him. | |
| And what's so awesome is the main group where you can find all your heroes, IET, Sather, Julian, Qtah, all those jamooks. | |
| They have one big channel where you can all hang out and see all your heroes. | |
| That channel has slightly under 200,000 people in it, and Ghost Ezra, who may again be Eye of the Spy, has over 230,000 people by himself. | |
| So his dumb LARPy bullshit crushes the entire intelligentsia of quote-unquote serious QAnon. | |
| These people just want to be told a fun story, and that's why those other guys are losing. | |
| And then, of course, you have the ultimate champion, Lin Wood, who's now over 800,000 people on Telegram. | |
| So you can all get fucked to Lin Wood. | |
| I can't wait for, like, a decade from now, somebody to reveal that everything Q-related, the whole thing, the whole cult, soup to nuts, was just their elaborate SCP-ARG. | |
| They'll just be like... | |
| SCP-5862-Q. | |
| And then there's just gonna be like this whole big fucking to-do about crazy horse shit. | |
| Oh man, that would be great. | |
| No, just kidding. | |
| Those people are great. | |
| I shouldn't tangle them up in Q's mess, even if it would be incredible if that was the reveal. | |
| ASI Millard is one of those guys. | |
| He does a lot of writing on that site. | |
| Yeah, I believe we've talked about this before, which is part of the reason why I don't want to drag that group's good name through the mud. | |
| But, you know, if you're the person behind the Q, SCP, ARG, BYOB, holler at me, your boy Al. | |
| Al doesn't rhyme, but... | |
| But yeah, so they're having a very tough time coming down on a side on this thing, because if you side with the royals, you're siding with Prince Andrew, who's like the pederast and the monster. | |
| And if you side with Meghan and Harry, you're siding with liberals, who are also monsters. | |
| Why side with anybody? | |
| Isn't it just good for them if their enemies are just fighting each other? | |
| That's kind of why they've decided their main tact on this thing is bringing up Oprah's ankle monitor, or the one royal they can actually support and celebrate, Princess Di, because she's dead. | |
| And once you are a dead liberal, you can become a hero in QAnon. | |
| See, Kennedy, John, and Martin Luther, and King, Martin Luther Jr. | |
| I mean, it's just, that is the way they operate. | |
| And also, Princess Di is kind of an even wackier offshoot than JFK Jr. | |
| in this stuff. | |
| Where she was one of the heroes that was going to fight the Cabal, and that's why the Queen iced her, because she was getting a little too punchy and trying to break the adrenochrome harvesting plants that the Crown is so in favor of. | |
| And then they were all like, no, our lily white Caucasian princess, no! | |
| Yes! | |
| Yeah, so... I mean, that was a... hey, like, that was during... there was that fucking long-ass stretch of time where there just weren't any white Disney princesses, so where else were Caucasians gonna get royals they could look up to than Britain? | |
| This is true. | |
| Yes, I mean, going back to our beloved mother country, as it were, And their monarchy, of which America is supposed to be so fond of, we were founded in the belief that monarchy is awesome and great and good, and we should support it. | |
| I mean, based solely on the fact that Taskmaster is made in Britain, I think that we fucked up by going off on our own, and we should seek to undo that immediately. | |
| American Taskmaster was so grossly inferior to British Taskmaster that, yeah, it is... Only if you count all of the ways I mean, it's just like, it's that way with almost every British show that we bring over and try and repurpose. | |
| Like the IT crowd with Joel McHale? | |
| Our cuts are getting so deep that they're to things that never actually saw air. | |
| It's crazy. | |
| Like, at some point we'll just be talking about hypothetical shows, like they're references, but they won't be. | |
| Yeah, I have a hypothetical... Wait, we're already doing that with our podcast, within our podcast series. | |
| Yes. | |
| Yeah, I already have a hypothetical American Taskmaster that would actually be good, but I have to actually find... I have to find Little Horn Man and pitch it to him and get the rights to it. | |
| So once that works out... | |
| Yeah, we're gonna ride this Q rocket until we're big enough to get a meeting with little Alex Horne. | |
| Yes! | |
| Oh god! | |
| Yes. | |
| That's when we've made it and we will sell out so hard and so fast when Alex Horne returns our calls. | |
| That's the dream now. | |
| That's absolutely the dream. | |
| So no matter who wins in the British Royal Family fight, we win. | |
| Thank the QAnon folks, or at least they should. | |
| But I don't really... I mean, I give no fucks about the Royal Interview. | |
| I'd rather just move on for this shit to talk about something more cool, like Dr. Seuss. | |
| Dr. Seuss is cancelled, y'all. | |
| No more Seuss. | |
| If you've got Dr. Seuss books, Joe Biden has signed an executive order that you have to burn all of them immediately. | |
| That is exactly what happened. | |
| This is the funniest stuff because what happened here was Dr. Seuss' estate discontinued these books of their own volition and in response Angry, whiny conservatives trying to make a talking point then started like buying up and freaking out and injecting Dr. Seuss into the mainstream media as being a victim of cancer culture. | |
| So You had a group of people, understanding the sensibilities of America have changed over the course of time, address that concern. | |
| And then conservatives were like, oh, no, no, you're not allowed to do that. | |
| And oh, yeah, by the way, we're going to make you super popular and start generating all kinds of revenue for you, for what you're doing. | |
| So by canceling themselves, Dr. Seuss made themselves even more popular and even more mainstream, famous and noteworthy. | |
| This is the weirdest series of events I could possibly imagine. | |
| It's just so obvious. | |
| When Paula Deen got cancelled, guess what? | |
| If you went on Amazon, all her cookbooks sold out immediately. | |
| Yeah, but Paula Deen actually did dumb, racist stuff, whereas the Dr. Seuss people being like, wow, these books are a little spicy, and no one cares about them. | |
| You literally might be able to name one of these books. | |
| One of them. | |
| The other five are impossible to name. | |
| Because no one's heard of them. | |
| And what's really funny is, actually, there was a guy on Twitter that I was following. | |
| His handle is Lesser Frederick. | |
| And he showed the art of one of the books that got discontinued. | |
| And Oh boy, the original art is not even subtly racist. | |
| It was a Chinese person who had yellow skin, the traditional Chinese hat, the long flowing ponytail coming out of the back of it, and it called him a Chinaman. | |
| Not a Chinaman, a Chinaman. | |
| And what's even crazier is that in the 80s or 90s, Dr. Seuss actually edited that book himself and repainted that guy to have normal skin and called him a Chinese man, not a Chinaman. | |
| And so even Seuss himself looked at this and was like, whoa, wow, this is not great. | |
| Need to reel this one back in. | |
| Yeah, I need to dial this one back a pinch. | |
| So, like, Seuss himself was like, this was something I did back in the day and it's not great. | |
| So I gotta reign this in. | |
| And then the estate just reigned it in a skosh more and was like, we're not even going to make the book anymore. | |
| Because, like, even trying to edit the artwork to make it less racist. | |
| Why even have this book? | |
| Because again, You can't name the book. | |
| I defy QAnon to name these books, because they can't do it. | |
| Horton Hears a Jew. | |
| Yes! | |
| I mean, yeah. | |
| That was like the family guy joke about Horton Hears Domestic Violence and doesn't do anything about it. | |
| The only book you possibly could have heard of is If I Ran the Zoo. | |
| The other five are Meligot's Pool, Go Beyond Zebra, Scrambled Eggs Super, The Cat's Last Quizzer, and I think I saw it on Mulberry Street. | |
| I will be making no more funny joke names about racist Dr. Seuss books. | |
| But boy howdy, there's a lot of material in there. | |
| Yeah, I had all of one to punctuate how ridiculous oldie oldie time style Dr. Seuss drawing and thinking was. | |
| And, you know, it is a credit to their company that they have decided to get rid of that shit. | |
| But, you know, Dr. Seuss being like not exactly cool is not exactly new news, which is which is part of the reason why I'm so funny. | |
| I think it's so funny that Republicans are up arms about it. | |
| It was sort of like, it's sort of like the Cosby thing was, right? | |
| Like Cosby being a predator wasn't new information. | |
| It's just that Hannibal Buress got it to the right people. | |
| And then Cosby got what was coming to him. | |
| And like, now it's just like, this is like the, I think this is like the second or third time just in my life that people were just like, yo, some of Dr. Seuss's stuff is messed up. | |
| But this is like, you know, now that now it's because the company was taking some like, preemptive actionable measures to get rid of the More questionable parts of the Dr. Seuss catalog. | |
| Good on him for doing it. | |
| Conservatives are really just up in arms about it as a distraction tactic, right? | |
| Nobody really gave any sort of fucks about Dr. Seuss. | |
| They're just trying to make sure that Republicans are good and angry, even as they get $1,400 relief checks from Joe Biden. | |
| Yeah, this is the playbook. | |
| Yeah, they cannot talk about this bill that is going through right now. | |
| Like this bill, it's like 59% of all Republicans are in favor of the bill. | |
| Like 55% of people that voted for Trump are in favor of this bill. | |
| And that's just like solid majorities of their side. | |
| Like actual America's view on the bill is like 75% in favor or even higher. | |
| So they, I remember I saw someone on Fox News, like they tried to call this bill the Pelosi payoff or something. | |
| And then they saw that that didn't work and it wasn't getting any traction. | |
| And this is just something that Americans want. | |
| So they have to talk about fucking anything other than this. | |
| This is such a political poison for them. | |
| They basically, what their dream is, is we all get the $1400, we're all happy about that, and then in like six to nine months they can start retconning it and being like, oh that wasteful $1.9 trillion of Biden's spending, oh that bad thing he did back in the day. | |
| Like, they're gonna try to pretend that it sucked, like, afterwards, and after people kind of have, like, the high of getting that, like, $1,400 in their bank account, and then people are like, oh yeah, that $1,400 was good, but what has Biden done for me lately? | |
| Like, they're kind of hoping that, like, they can attack this thing later, because they know that, like, In the present, on this day, attacking this bill is such a fucking loser for them that they have to go anywhere else. | |
| They have to find some dumb thing to get upset about to give Fox News something to talk about because Fox News can't have Tucker Carlson or Laura Ingraham or anyone else being on TV being like, hey, today's the day Biden's going to send the bill to put 1400 smackaroos in your pocket, buddy! | |
| Because I can't wait until a year from now when they're going back and they're doing their sort of revisionist history. | |
| They're just like, yeah, sure. | |
| He gave me $1,400. | |
| He made COVID vaccine available. | |
| He got the schools reopened. | |
| And now I can go out to a bar without a face mask on anymore. | |
| But what has Joe Biden done for me recently? | |
| What has he done for me this week? | |
| Specifically this week? | |
| Right, exactly. | |
| They had that thing. | |
| They had Biden's dog bite a Secret Service agent. | |
| I didn't hear about that. | |
| Biden's dogs were bad boys. | |
| They're no longer in the White House. | |
| Yeah, they got sent back to Delaware for a time out. | |
| You could say that they went from the White House to the dog house. | |
| Oh, God. | |
| If only we still had the preloaded Zancastra sting on our town board. | |
| But they, yeah, one of Biden's dogs nipped a Secret Service agent. | |
| They said he didn't drop blood or anything. | |
| But the dogs are back in Delaware for the time being. | |
| And they actually had someone ask, by the White House press briefing, they asked his press secretary, is Biden going to kill the dog? | |
| Are they going to put the dog down? | |
| And it's just like, I swear there had to be someone trying to set that narrative that Biden's a dog-murdering, heartless son of a bitch or something. | |
| What an amazing political boondoggle that would have been. | |
| There's like, we'll set this trap, he's sure to walk into it. | |
| Hey, Mr. President, enough about the $1,400. | |
| Are you gonna kill your dog? | |
| Yeah, president kills dog. | |
| Yeah, the Patriots' first step in their long-term plan is to infect some, like, adrenaline into this dog to get it all jittery, have it bite someone. | |
| Then Joe Biden has to kill this dog. | |
| Old yellow style. | |
| Yeah, like, literally take it upon himself. | |
| And he's just like, build a shed in the back of the White House. | |
| And when that is done, come get me and I will grab my rifle and I will take this dog behind his shed and I will blow its brains out. | |
| We're gonna film it, put sad music over it. | |
| Why, like, are you gonna kill the dog? | |
| What? | |
| I don't think I can think of anything stupider than doing that. | |
| Except maybe not raising the minimum wage, but... Well, I mean, how about still thinking Donald Trump is president? | |
| That's pretty dumb. | |
| All I'm thinking of right now is just this gaggle of press following Joe Biden as he walks from the shed, just soaked in his dog's blood, shotgun smoking in his hands as he had to put the dog down. | |
| They're like, oh, he's so riddled with dementia, I bet he didn't even kill the dog right. | |
| If you watch the video, you can clearly hear multiple shots. | |
| It's just the one. | |
| Oh, there was a guy on the grassy knoll that really took care of the dog. | |
| He was like, if you look at the footage, he's at the back. | |
| He was there. | |
| The CIA really wanted the dog dead. | |
| The CIA put suicide drugs up the dog's butt to make it look like an accident. | |
| The dog was gonna pull our troops out of Vietnam. | |
| The CIA had no choice. | |
| They had to whack him. | |
| You didn't know this, but Joe Biden's dog was a byproduct of the MKUltra thing. | |
| They had to silence it. | |
| So they injected it with the adrenaline and had it bite the Secret Service agent, so that way Joe Biden had to kill it personally behind the newly formed shed behind the White House. | |
| In front of the press. | |
| Yes! | |
| The public execution of Joe Biden's dog. | |
| That's going to be the next book by Dr. Seuss. | |
| Yeah, like a posthumous release by the prognosticating Dr. Seuss. | |
| Biden kills a dog. | |
| Dog in the shed gets one in the head. | |
| It's the new book by Dr. Seuss. | |
| That's a, that's a, that's a, that's a pretty wordy title. | |
| I feel like we worshipped that better. | |
| Hey, audience, come up with a better Dr. Seuss book name for the Dr. Seuss book in which Joe Biden has to kill his dog Old Yeller style. | |
| Right up there with Go Dog Go. | |
| Yes. | |
| Yeah, Go Dog Go to heaven. | |
| Or hell, depending on how you feel about the dog. | |
| Oh, but the dog's full of adrenochrome just rises up Cujo style and that's how the apocalypse happens. | |
| If the dog's got some sort of Adrenochrome-fueled virus, then I'd be worried if I was that Secret Service agent. | |
| He's like, no, I didn't break skin, but he's like that guy that gets bit in every zombie movie and hides it for some fucking reason. | |
| Like, oh god, don't worry, I'm going to make it out of this. | |
| They're like, no dude, you know what happens when you get bit. | |
| You're going to die. | |
| And we're going to be locked in a garage or something, and you're going to come after us. | |
| Anyway, Dr. Seuss got cancelled. | |
| Oh my god. | |
| Guess who's back in the news? | |
| Q-Shaman. | |
| And this time he brought his mommy. | |
| Yeah, so the Q-Shaman and Q-Shaman mommy did the rounds with the media to plead his case that he is a good boy who didn't really do the bad thing. | |
| And his mom was like, all he did was walk through opened doors and he didn't know what he was doing was wrong or bad. | |
| And I think when you're like striding through the halls of Congress with like press taking photos of you in every which way and you are... And you watch 200 people break open the doors that you're about to walk through. | |
| Yeah, and you may have been in the general vicinity of where that woman got shot and killed, and you stand in the well of the Senate as people are stealing Pelosi's laptop and ripping files off of desks in the halls of Congress. | |
| Maybe you could put two and two together and be like, this might be against the law. | |
| I may have a comeuppance coming to me for what I'm doing right now. | |
| He ate a big bowl of organic chili that morning, and he just forgot. | |
| He was all full up on his organic chili. | |
| He just forgot. | |
| He didn't know. | |
| The president told him to do it. | |
| It's more likely that he was all full up on organic ayahuasca. | |
| He's the queue shaman. | |
| He just showed up dressed like a bull. | |
| What a wild trip that would be! | |
| Just blazed out of your mind on ayahuasca, dressed like... | |
| The most white appropriation idiot ever storming the Capitol building? | |
| I mean, when you put it that way, it actually sounds like a pretty rad time. | |
| Yeah. | |
| Still very illegal, though. | |
| Yes. | |
| Still highly illegal on all fronts. | |
| Yeah. | |
| I mean, like, on the one hand, I don't want this guy to do, like, 40 years or whatever, given the way America's legal system works, but on the other hand, He knew he was committing a crime. | |
| I mean, wait, why? | |
| Why don't you want him to get 40 years? | |
| Yeah, no, fuck around, find out. | |
| I just don't think that being in jail for more than 30 years for anything that's not violent is really a great thing. | |
| I'm a Scandinavian justice system kind of person on that front. | |
| I mean, I guess it depends on what your definition of violence is. | |
| He was part of a mob that resulted in the loss of five lives and also was treasonously desecrating our nation's capital. | |
| I don't think he's 30 years. | |
| I think 10 at a minimum because he's going for capital. | |
| I want him to do at least a dime. | |
| I mean, I'm just saying. | |
| I would just like to see him be... I would like to believe in the idea of for a full reform and for him to get out like his like 50s | |
| or whatever and be like that was a fucking stupid thing that I did I just don't | |
| want him to like die in prison. He certainly showed a heaping helping of remorse | |
| for his actions so I could see why he might be a little bit better. | |
| Yeah he's died in a wall. By which I mean that was heavily sarcastic he has not showed really any remorse in fact he's | |
| just been complaining about the fucking cooking available to him in | |
| prison. | |
| If 30 years is possible, I hope he gets 30 years. | |
| Fuck this dude. | |
| Yeah, and also I feel, and I mean also like he's like mad that Trump didn't pardon him | |
| and he's disappointed in Trump. | |
| I mean, I, it just, it just shows you what happens to these people when they go down | |
| this rabbit hole. | |
| You're going to have a bunch of these people in jail. | |
| You have Ashley Babbitt, who died. | |
| She literally believed in QAnon and caught a bullet for it. | |
| And then you have these pricks online who just don't care about the destruction they've caused in any way, shape, or form. | |
| You're just going to have Ghost Ezra and all these other chuckled fucks decoding Dan Scavino's latest message on social media. | |
| And continuing to try to pill people when they know these outcomes happen, that people are going to be in jail for decades, may die in prison, they may get killed as part of events that we absolutely promoted and endorsed, and then had to back off and say, oh no, that was totally anti-fun, oh no, we didn't have anything to do with that. | |
| Yeah, the American justice system is deeply flawed. | |
| But that aside, Q Shaman needs to do a dime minimum. | |
| Right. | |
| But I don't think in any way it's going to reform him. | |
| I believe he's actually mentally ill. | |
| He was kicked out of the Navy for not taking vaccines. | |
| And, you know, take from that what you want. | |
| But this man will not be helped by the The American justice system or prison, but he does deserve to go to prison. | |
| Oh, he does. | |
| Absolutely. | |
| Yeah. | |
| Yeah. | |
| I mean, you know, like I'm, I'm pretty liberal, but at the same time, like, I do think that for, you know, for our country to sort of function, like the, the government has to have teeth in certain matters. | |
| And I think, and I think that when you round up an armed posse and start storming government buildings in the nation's Capitol, like that's when the teeth come out, right? | |
| Like it's just like, Anybody that's getting arrested for this shit, like, needs to go away for a long fucking time so the next armed posse knows exactly what they're in for. | |
| Oh, I want zip tie guy never to see the light of day. | |
| I mean, like, the people that were in, like, tactical gear, like, doing shit, like, actively, like, looking to kidnap people, like, they need to go away for forever. | |
| Uh, there was a new, uh, they released a minute thirty seconds of the The person who put the pipe bombs at the RNC and the DNC yesterday, and I hope they find the pipe bomb planter and that person never sees the light of day again. | |
| Those people, they need to go away forever. | |
| There are people that need to be examples made of so that other people understand the whole fuck around and find out thing is for really reals. | |
| I just think that Q Shaman is a dumb dolt who Assuming he actually thought that he was the head of the Second American Revolution, I can't think of anything more seditious and traitorous. | |
| on the punishment scale he has to be, but yeah, he needs to do a long time in prison. | |
| I mean, assuming he actually thought that he was the head of the second American revolution, | |
| I can't think of anything more seditious and traitorous. | |
| By that logic, he should do an indefinite amount of time. | |
| In his head, he was doing the most treason. | |
| He was literally overthrowing the government when he was there. | |
| So if he has a diagnosable mental illness, then obviously he needs treatment and not prison. | |
| If he's just a guy that really thought that he was on the right team, and that he was gonna be the mascot slash figurehead for America 2, and it didn't work out. | |
| I mean, like, the last time it didn't work out, those motherfuckers didn't get any leniency. | |
| Like, why should this guy? | |
| The thing that's, like, so funny to me is it's just, like, I agree wholeheartedly about the... I'm the bleeding tip of the spear! | |
| I'm leading the Second American Revolution! | |
| But it is such a QAnon Second American Revolution for this guy, where he didn't break down the doors himself, he didn't do any of the actual work, but he gets to stride through the halls of Congress and be the winner. | |
| It's like he just plays life on ultimate easy mode. | |
| He's like, Look! | |
| I did a coup! | |
| Go me! | |
| And it's just like, well, no you didn't, because you weren't, like, actually the one, like, putting in the work to achieve any of this. | |
| But now you're the schmuck who's on camera and thinks he's the hero. | |
| So... Yeah, he was definitely in every picture. | |
| That I saw from January 6th. | |
| Yeah, and if they end up throwing the book at him, it's just because his trying to be the mascot for this Q insurrection just backfired on him. | |
| And it's just like, you are the face of this movement. | |
| And he's like, but I didn't do anything. | |
| And they're just like, well, you did show up dressed to be the face of the movement. | |
| Yeah. | |
| And you are. | |
| So it seems like you've succeeded. | |
| Now enjoy prison for several dozens of years. | |
| a decade at minimum. Yeah, it's just really funny that like, he's like ultimate treason, | |
| but like the ultimate non-violent treason. He's just like strolling around going, I've won! I'm | |
| the champ! And it's like, no, you've actually lost. You are anything but the champ. And this | |
| is going to bite you in the ass real hard. We're... | |
| Us three Jamoaks on a podcast are now just debating how much of your ass gets bit here. | |
| And also, man, could you imagine being that guy's mother and having to just be like, wow, the only defense, the only way I can try to save my son from some sort of ridiculous prison sentence is to just go on national television and just in several different ways say, My son is not a criminal. | |
| He is just an idiot. | |
| He is very stupid. | |
| He has no brains. | |
| And what brains he does have is smooth. | |
| He's bad, but only intellectually, not spiritually. | |
| He sucks, but only when it comes to his stupid brain. | |
| And they're just like, Oh, okay, cool. | |
| Well, but what about this? | |
| And she's just like, I believe I answered it when I said that my son was very stupid. | |
| My son is incredibly stupid, but he's not a criminal. | |
| He's just very dumb. | |
| It's just like, wow. | |
| Like, if it works, like, do you think like, do you think the guy is like, pleases punch | |
| at Thanksgiving? | |
| But do you think the whole time he's just, he's just like, wow, how long has my mother | |
| thought that I was a fucking dole? | |
| I just love that. | |
| Like, literally, Q Mom, Q Shaman's mom's defense of him is basically the same defense that | |
| guy had about Jordan Sather, that he was too dumb to know what triple parentheses meant. | |
| He's just really stupid. | |
| Guys, he's not a criminal, he's a moron. | |
| Guys, he's not anti-Semite, he's a moron. | |
| I just love that, like, that's the... | |
| The dichotomy of QAnon is stupid or evil, and often times it's both. | |
| It seems like on the one hand it would be the ultimate excuse for conservatives, because it tracks. | |
| You're just like, oh, Alex Jones, he's not evil, he's just really stupid. | |
| You're just like, oh man, he does seem really stupid. | |
| The stuff he says does seem really dumb. | |
| But then you just have to think about it for a second. | |
| Just be like, wait a minute, those aren't mutually exclusive. | |
| You can be stupid and evil. | |
| What are you talking about? | |
| Right. | |
| Oh, yeah, absolutely. | |
| And the thing is, is that you can be stupid about a lot of things, but you can still have the understanding and wherewithal to, like, figure out that you can do certain things to get ahead in life that are evil. | |
| And you know they're evil, even though your brain is smooth. | |
| But you're still willing to do that. | |
| You have, like, a level of cunning that allows you to get ahead in the grifter community, even though, like, if you were ever, like, thrown into a pond that wasn't your own pond, you'd be totally lost. | |
| You'd have no idea how to handle yourself. | |
| Yeah, I mean, being immoral at your core just sort of opens up a talent tree's worth of horrible, predatory bullshit that you can do to get ahead, right? | |
| It doesn't really matter how intelligent you are, necessarily what your business acumen is. | |
| If you're willing to step on other people's backs, you can climb high. | |
| Yeah, look at one Donald Trump. | |
| Yeah, or like Harvey Weinstein or whatever. | |
| At the end of the day, it just sort of seems like whatever talent people may or may not have had, it seems much more likely that they were just predatory as fuck, and that's how they climbed up the ladder. | |
| So, you know, whatever. | |
| I just do think it's hilarious that this dude's own mother had to just go on national TV and just essentially drop a huge Cleveland Steamer right on his chest. | |
| Just say, my son is too stupid to function. | |
| Please don't arrest him. | |
| Now the whole playbook is just like, please let him out while he awaits trial, and the judge was not having that. | |
| Yeah, he's definitely not a flight risk. | |
| Look at him, he's so stupid he can barely move. | |
| The camera just pans over to him, he's just got like a comical drool pouring out of his mouth. | |
| And then the second he gets home, he's on a fucking plane to Fiji or whatever. | |
| That's where conservatives flee when the shit is getting real. | |
| And after we let Kyle Rittenhouse walk, that worked out great. | |
| So there's none of these champions of conservative ideology who commit crimes. | |
| And again, Kyle Rittenhouse needs to never see the light of day again, because he's a fucking murderer. | |
| Fuck him. | |
| That guy is, and oh yeah, by the way, he's represented by Lin Wood, QAnon grifter extraordinaire. | |
| So I just love that circle, how that dovetails. | |
| But yeah, when you have these, I mean, some, one of the people that was in the DC riots, this woman, she got to go to like a team building exercise in Mexico while she's awaiting trial. | |
| Like, like the privilege these people have and the idea that they Yeah, I mean, there's no white criminals. | |
| Yes. | |
| They're not used to the system the way that, like, we've come to expect it to work, because we're used to seeing it work on people of color. | |
| It's just like, oh, oh, man, like, if they even survive being arrested, that they get thrown into jail forever. | |
| And then it's just like, you know, same shit happens to white people, and they easily do not get murdered while being arrested. | |
| And then they're allowed to go to their golf tournament while they're awaiting trial. | |
| It's like, OK, cool. | |
| Anyway, Q Shaman didn't do anything wrong. | |
| He was just listening to Papa Trump. | |
| Speaking about Papa Trump, he's getting into a spat with his old friends at the RNC over the use of his name and likeness in their marketing materials because Donald Trump wants you to give your money directly to the Trump PAC. | |
| Yeah, yeah. | |
| And the best part about the Trump PAC is it is the Save America PAC, so it's literally SAP. | |
| If you are giving money to Trump, you are a SAP. | |
| We, yeah, we have literally grifter wars going between the cash-strapped RNC and Trump. | |
| The RNC wants to use Trump to promote their candidates because that's basically what they're going to run on is QAnon and Dr. Seuss and Trump was robbed and the big lie, because that's all they have. | |
| And it's like ridiculous. | |
| Please don't start a second party and split our base irrevocably. | |
| Yeah, please don't start the Patriot Party and destroy us. | |
| And Trump's reaction is, well, I'm still in your party, but guess what? | |
| I'm also Frankenstein's monster. | |
| And I'm just going to like run amok inside of your party and do whatever the fuck I want. | |
| So, uh, I mean, I don't think that the people that run like the, the actual super packs, like American Crossroads with the Cokes and whatever the Mercer family does. | |
| I don't think any of those grifter packs that are like the big money people are going to listen to Trump, but he's going to vacuum up | |
| all the small donors, all the idiots who want to give 20 bucks to somebody. | |
| They're going to give that to all the grassroots style, like the Bernie supporter style people | |
| that are only donating. They're just like, I believe in the cause, but I'm just a regular | |
| person. So here's my five or 10 bucks. It's like, yeah, Donald Trump's going to start | |
| hoovering all that away from the Republican party, which is incredible. | |
| Yes. | |
| I love it. | |
| Donald Trump unwittingly being the hero that democracy needs. | |
| Yeah, because the Democrats can't get their shit together. | |
| Well, hey, the Democrats were giving us $1,400 at least. | |
| Yeah, they got enough of their shit together to get that bill passed. | |
| It wasn't clean or easy, and Joe Manchin is still a huge piece of shit, but at the end of the day, it worked. | |
| They did it. | |
| Yeah, I got that through, but I'm the Veruca Salt of political forward motion. | |
| I want more. | |
| I want more. I mean, I want those. I want I want more than fourteen hundred dollars, too. And I | |
| want the fourteen hundred dollars that I'm entitled to immediately so that I can buy a new laptop and | |
| name it Sleepy Joe. But, you know, I'm also willing to wait, especially because, you know, | |
| at the same at the same time as Biden is cutting us off our fat slice, he's also saying that | |
| fucking everyone is going to be vaccinated by the end of May or whatever. | |
| Like, that's a big swing to be calling. | |
| Like, that is a Babe Ruth style, like, pointing to the fucking fence past the outfield. | |
| Just be like, yeah, I'm going to donk this one. | |
| Yeah. | |
| It's really funny. | |
| I just literally got an alert on my phone saying that Congress just passed the bill. | |
| The timing of this is ridiculous. | |
| Yeah. | |
| And God, God, I mean, I am a frontline worker here in majestic Massachusetts where they don't fucking care about casino employees. | |
| I have friends in Vegas. | |
| Guess what happened to the casino employees out in Vegas where it's their entire fucking economy. | |
| They're frontline employees. | |
| One guy already got his first shot. | |
| He's got the next one coming in a couple of weeks. | |
| I got another buddy who's got his first shot scheduled. | |
| So, uh, He's been locked up, literally, because he has comorbidities, as you'd call them, and so he's been staying away from the world. | |
| He has been timing it out. | |
| He may be able to actually go play live poker at the end of April, because he'll have his second shot in mid-April, and then you're supposed to wait the two weeks for maximum potency, and then you can go back and play at Society. | |
| And he is just now chomping at the bit. | |
| He's counting down the days. | |
| Whereas I'm like, late April, maybe I might get an appointment by late April. | |
| Thanks, Massachusetts. | |
| I don't live, I don't work in a fucking terrible place where I have to wear a dog collar on my head in order to interact with customers. | |
| Yeah, now that the most recent vaccines are rolling out, and thanks to the fact that I live in a smaller state, I am hoping that I will get the signal that allows me to go get the needle in my arm sometime in April. | |
| That would be dope. | |
| Yeah, my state of Missouri, the distribution of the vaccine has been Shall we say interesting? | |
| It definitely went to, massive proportions went to rural areas that support our governor, who is a Democrat in name only, not the two major cities that did not vote for him. | |
| Anyway, the point of all this delicious, delicious vaccine talk is that a united party is a successful party, a party that can get shit done, like the giant Papa Biden relief bill that's coming down the pipeline that will get me my new Sleepy Joe laptop. | |
| However... | |
| Donald Trump has decided in his infinite wisdom to do everything he can to split the GOP by trying to stop them from using his likeness or name in their marketing materials, and instead trying to convince people to donate money directly to him and his PAC, which I think is awesome. | |
| I mean, like, let's hear it for the boy. | |
| He's out there doing the good work, even if he doesn't know it. | |
| I cannot wait. | |
| Lord knows the level of transparency that his PAC is going to have, because you are supposed to file paperwork with the FEC and shit for your PACs. | |
| It would just be so great if he hoovered up $50 million, and then under the expenditures, it was CEO of SAP PAC, Donald Trump, $45 million. | |
| Ad targeting. | |
| And the best part is, The main thing he wants to do in politics right now is go after the Republicans who are insufficiently loyal to him. | |
| He's talked about- He's just starting to- He wants to fucking burn it down because, like, what was it, like, seven Republicans, like, were just like, yeah, fuck you, you're- You were a real piece of shit when you caused that mob to riot on the Capitol. | |
| And he was like, I'm gonna get you from beyond the grave of my presidency! | |
| Yeah, he vowed to campaign against McCaskill in Alaska, and I saw someone on Twitter being like, wait till he finds out how long that plane ride from Florida to Alaska is. | |
| He's gonna be like, you know what? | |
| I'm not gonna campaign against her. | |
| Fuck that. | |
| I'm too old for this shit. | |
| He's also made it his sworn duty to go after Kemp in Georgia because he's convinced Kemp cost him the election because he wouldn't overturn the results in Georgia, which would be just absolutely great to replace hardcore MAGA. | |
| I mean, I don't know how much more of a MAGA chud you can be than Kemp, but I guess we're going to find out in that primary when literally a full-blown QAnon supporter is running against Kemp, and if they win, Well then hopefully either Stacey Abrams will be the governor of Georgia or the person that she backs with her voting rights campaign. | |
| It would just be great if Georgia just like opened the door to Democrats by having their Republican Party of Georgia be hijacked by the absolute furthest right, most extreme lunatics possible. | |
| When if you were, I mean, I know they're passing all the voter suppression laws they can in Georgia right now, because they found out when people vote, we fucking lose. | |
| And that's not cool. | |
| But new Jim Crow. | |
| Oh, God, it's even it's more crowier than Jim Crow. | |
| It's like so brutal, which is why right now, H.R.1 is going to be such a interesting thing to see going through the actual federal government and how it actually gets passed. | |
| Oh, the lawsuits are coming. | |
| Oh yeah, it's going to be a clown show on every possible front, but it's so funny that states like Oklahoma or Alabama are states that are just blood red. | |
| You can just basically do whatever you want and try to get away with it. | |
| You can run whoever you want. | |
| Tommy Tuberville is a senator. | |
| Who knew? | |
| For instance, you could just try to make all abortions illegal. | |
| Yeah, exactly. | |
| Like flying in the face of a federal law that says otherwise. | |
| You just say, hey, all abortions are illegal. | |
| Oh yeah, I saw, I think it was like Oklahoma like came out with a thing saying they were | |
| nullifying Biden's executive order on gun control. | |
| And it's like, you do realize nullification was like a thing that was brewing before the | |
| Civil War. | |
| And we said, no, you can't do that. | |
| The federal law is supreme. | |
| And we've had this song and dance before. | |
| South Carolina literally... And they're just going to be like, oh, yeah, well, then maybe we just shouldn't be part of your stupid country anymore. | |
| It's just like, yeah, fuck around and find out. | |
| Yeah, bye. | |
| Yeah, bye. | |
| Go. | |
| Go see how you like it. | |
| I'm pretty sure that our government has enough drones for all of you, so thank you! | |
| Au revoir, Les Feliciens! | |
| Go ahead and do the Civil War too, please, and enjoy your drone strikes! | |
| Oh, how monstrous. | |
| It's just so, like, that's the thing that always drives me nuts about these Second Amendment peoples. | |
| I need my gun in order to fight the tyrannical government! | |
| It's like, guess what? | |
| This isn't the American Revolution where the British had muskets and you had muskets. | |
| This isn't the Civil War where the Hun boys in the South had the rifles that the Federals had. | |
| This is modern America. | |
| Any amount of guns you buy is completely meaningless. | |
| You will never see the Predator drone coming for you. | |
| If you somehow saw the Predator drone and shot a bunch of Predator drones down, you would never see the stealth bomber 30,000 feet over your head dropping a laser-guided bomb into your house. | |
| Yeah, or the submarine that fires the missile that blows up your whole fucking town. | |
| Like, oh, we've secured this commune of Q people. | |
| We did it. | |
| Like, we took over this town and now it's ours. | |
| And then you would hear a faint whistling as the missile, like, impacts the earth. | |
| And it was the last thing you and anyone within, like, you know, two miles ever heard. | |
| Just, you're all dead. | |
| Do you hear that? | |
| Sounds like oncoming destiny. | |
| Quick! | |
| If an ICBM comes close to us, use your rifles on it! | |
| This is why we bought our bump stocks, boys! | |
| Right, yeah, our bump stocks are gonna take that ICBM out. | |
| We're gonna defeat the American war machine with our sidearms. | |
| It's such a fantasy. | |
| The larpiness of that movement is something that, like, is like why Q is a thing that exists, because they believe in this kind of shit. | |
| They're just like, yeah, I could hold out against the federal government. | |
| Yeah, you're gonna hold out your house. They're gonna cut your power better. Hope you have a backup generator better | |
| Hope you have enough food to like outlast the siege and then if they get bored of the siege | |
| They'll just call in drones. So whatever you're going to lose you're going to lose | |
| Hey, man, they have a constitutional They have a constitutional right to own those firearms much | |
| like their constitutional right to say whatever the fuck they want | |
| However, if you were saying whatever the fuck you wanted on Gab, I've got some bad news for you. | |
| Once again, Gab is in the news for getting hacksawed. | |
| Oh no! | |
| So yeah, so Gab got hacked by some white hats who were making fun of Gab for being terrible and shitty and easy to break into. | |
| Gab's CEO came out and was like, this is not a new attack. | |
| This is the remains of the old attack where they were still able to do the old things, but we fixed it. | |
| So they can't do it again. | |
| This time we swear, uh, because this guy has no idea how to run a functioning, uh, website. | |
| Uh, they just fixed the search feature like two days ago. | |
| They went 10 days without a working search feature. | |
| Uh, which is awesome because people pay for Gab. | |
| I mean, this isn't like a thing that's like a, you can use Gab for free, but there's a premium service and. | |
| If Twitter ever had a premium service, I promise you the fucking search feature better goddamn work all the time, or there'd be people like screaming to the high heavens. | |
| And the other thing I love about Gab's search feature is that it is, even when it functions, it's incredibly specific. | |
| Like when you're typing in stuff, it doesn't come up with a list of possibilities, like a possible hits. | |
| Like if you were looking for your buddy Dan1973whatever, If you start typing in stuff, you don't get extra hits and you don't find Dan directly. | |
| So if you don't have the exact, uh, proper name of the person you're searching for, you will not find it period. | |
| Even when Gab's working exactly right. | |
| So their search feature as a search feature is bad. | |
| And even they couldn't even make that work for 10 days. | |
| It took them forever to get that thing up and running. | |
| And so. | |
| Then they get absolutely hacked and taken down. | |
| And the funniest thing was the people that hacked them posted a video of a scroll of screenshots of all these people that they have accounts that they hacked. | |
| And you would know a lot of the names of the people that they hacked, because you would believe that that'd be the people they would hack to show the power of the hack. | |
| Gab's corporate account, Torba's personal account, Marjorie Taylor Greene, all of the... Andrew Dice, I guess the comedian guy who's a right-winger. | |
| Andrew Dice Clay is on there? | |
| I don't know if it's Andrew Dice Clay. | |
| I just see this guy. | |
| His name is Dice. | |
| It might be some other asshole named Andrew Dice. | |
| I mean, it certainly seems like it could be true that there's another Andrew Dice in the world, but even if it's not true, in my heart of hearts, I really hope that it's the Dice Man. | |
| Hickory dickory dock, I did some racism. | |
| That's Dr. Seuss's new book! | |
| It doesn't rhyme anymore. | |
| Little Miss Muppet sat on a tuffet, and we never should have let women vote! | |
| The Dice Man! | |
| So got it! | |
| That's going to be the new conservative children's book, Dr. Dice! | |
| It's going to be incredible. | |
| Oh, man. | |
| But what made me laugh so hard is after they went through all these quote-unquote important right-wingers and people that are a part of Gab, two of the accounts that were on the video to show that they had hacked all the power users on Gab were CJ Truth and Major Patriot. | |
| They made it onto the wall of fame for people that got their accounts crushed by the hack. | |
| Hey, good for them! | |
| Yeah, that made me chuckle so much. | |
| I'm like, oh, look! | |
| These QAnon dipshits made it on the wall! | |
| Good on them! | |
| It's okay. | |
| I mean, these guys clearly have you in their sights, so it's only fair that some good guys have them in their sights. | |
| And, you know, took some action against them. | |
| I mean, I'm not saying that hacking is good. | |
| I'm saying that this particular hacking is great. | |
| If stuff needs to be hacked, I am in favor of it being places like Gab. | |
| And, you know, if those hackers want to ransom them to get a little do-re-mi out of the deal, then good for them. | |
| I don't think Gab can pay whatever they'd be asking for, so I look forward to seeing what CJ Truth says when he doesn't think anybody's looking. | |
| I believe the ransom they asked from Gab was eight bitcoins. | |
| Wow! | |
| I mean, that's a lot of money, if I recall, right? | |
| Especially because Gab has to be in bad financial straits, considering all the other shit that's been going on with them. | |
| Let's do a quick little checkeroonie. | |
| What's Bitcoin at right now? | |
| $57,000. | |
| One Bitcoin is $57,000. | |
| Yeah. | |
| Because that was the scroll, that was the message. | |
| They were like, hey, Gab users, your privacy isn't worth eight Bitcoins to the people who run this place. | |
| So it's like what, like around half a million dollars? | |
| I mean, yeah. | |
| That seems like a hard pill for Gab to swallow, considering all the shit that they have been dealing with recently. | |
| And good, fuck them. | |
| Fuck them and fuck all their users, especially the paid users. | |
| I mean, could you imagine? | |
| A dog raised his website as being held ransom for made-em-up cryptocurrency worth half | |
| a million dollars. | |
| We're starting to see cyberpunk happen. | |
| We're not going to be alive when the robot body parts show up, but we do get to be alive for some of the weird internet-related shit that's going on, which is great. | |
| Yeah, I just want to, when I'm like 90 years old and ready to shuffle off my mortal coil, I just want to spend a couple eddies. | |
| That's all I want. | |
| I just want to actually have European dollars. | |
| I want the world to be such a dystopian hell that the American dollar collapses the way QAnon has promised it will. | |
| The way Alex Jones and QAnon and everyone have been promising for like 50 years the American dollar is going to fall apart. | |
| I'm a big fan of New Yen, the currency on Shadowrun. | |
| Shadowrun, yep, oh yeah. | |
| New Yen's good, too. | |
| I'll take New Yen. | |
| I want literally the concept of time, like that movie with Justin Timberlake. | |
| I can't remember the name of it right now. | |
| But yeah, that's how I want to pay with stuff, with a fucking holographic number display on my arm that represents how much time I have to live. | |
| I think that movie was actually like Time's Up or something. | |
| It's got some sort of dumb pun name. | |
| In Time. | |
| In Time, yeah. | |
| I always used to make the mistake that that was the movie called About Time. | |
| And About Time, I think, is a rom-com. | |
| So I was very wrong in those instances. | |
| Anyway, Gab got hacked and it rules. | |
| Moving on to our swollen mailbag! | |
| Yeah! | |
| Yes, our mailbag is more swollen than last week, which is good, because that's where we wanted to be in this kind of range. | |
| So we do thank our listeners for seasoning us with questions, as it were. | |
| We have a hidden message from one of our Grand Inquisitors, Chairman Walkman, and he says, he asks, do you feel that there's an increase in conspiratorial thought? | |
| If so, why do you think that is? | |
| Yes, and the internet. | |
| Uh, conspiracy thought always blooms and happens more in like uncertain trying times. | |
| And I know within my lifetime, nothing's been more uncertain than the past, oh, let's say five to six years. | |
| Uh, so, and the internet. | |
| Yeah. | |
| As Elle said. | |
| Oh, I think that having a place to congregate to grow your conspiracy theory is really important for this kind of like thought. | |
| Like if you're just the crank, like just spinning these yarns in your basement, and filling up notebooks with stuff, it really, it can't really get out there and prosper. | |
| Whereas nowadays, You have people like Julian's Rum who is like a guy that is practically going through a beautiful mind meltdown, seeing patterns and images and everything that don't even exist. | |
| Dan Scavino put up, everything Dan Scavino puts up on social media drives QAnon crazy because they're trying to figure out what Trump's hidden message is and what are the patriots trying to tell us? | |
| And there was this, a picture of snow dogs and Lord knows what actual breed | |
| they were. But Julian was like, these are Alaskan Marmalukes or blah, blah, blah. And he's | |
| like, if, yeah, and if you, if you take out the letter N in their names, it translates | |
| to, it translates to Alas Kamala Mutes, which means that Kamala is slowly muting Biden and | |
| taking away his power before they enact the 25th amendment and install her as president. | |
| Which, I always ask these people, I'm like, why the bait and switch? | |
| Why this razzle dazzle? | |
| What is the point? | |
| And I actually had this one QAnon supporter who just DMs me and yells at me all the time. | |
| It's just this weird guy that gets into fights with me. | |
| And then half the time he'll like send me a message and then block me so I can't even talk to him. | |
| It's just DM, block. | |
| And then he'll come back three days later with a DM and a block. | |
| But like this time he actually engaged me. | |
| And he was explaining to me that Kamala Harris was too unpopular, too unlikable, and they couldn't rig it for her to be president. | |
| So they had to do the whole Biden-Biden switch. | |
| And I replied to him and I said, if they've rigged it, they've rigged it. | |
| You can't sorta rig it. | |
| So if they wanted Kamala, they could have just gotten her! | |
| It's like Terminator Salvation. | |
| It's like Terminator Salvation where they have John Connor's dad or whatever in the Terminator camp and they're just like, we have to monitor him because we know that he is the one where John Connor comes from. | |
| It's been a while. | |
| I just remember watching that movie and just being like, you have the guy! | |
| You know that this is the source of your problems! | |
| Just fucking kill him! | |
| Like, what are you talking about? | |
| Who are you baiting with this? | |
| Just kill the guy! | |
| Like, one of the only funny bits from Austin Powers is like, we've got him right here. | |
| I've got a gun in my room. | |
| I'll go get it. | |
| We'll shoot him right now. | |
| Together. | |
| We just shoot him right now. | |
| Anyway, but speaking back to the point about cults, it's like back in the day, if you were the sort of person | |
| or not, the questions about conspiracy theories and not cults, but | |
| I'm using like like a cult as an example, and you'll see why here in a | |
| minute. | |
| Back in the day, if you were like the leader of a cult, you had to like go | |
| like, you know, you had to go proselytize in some form of fashion bars or whatever. | |
| You had to hook people. | |
| And then eventually and inevitably, you would have to lure people to the compound you were building or the place where you were living so that you could program them. | |
| And then eventually, ta-da, ipso facto, your cult starts to be born. | |
| Well, now you just need a Discord channel, right? | |
| You don't need to lure anyone anywhere. | |
| You can do it through the internet. | |
| And the same sort of thing is true of conspiracy theories, where all you have to do is use a broad reach platform, like Twitter or whatever, to get your message out there, and then if you really need to get into the weeds about it, you can just crawl into one of these innumerable holes on the internet where you and 25 of your craziest friends could talk about how you think lizard people control the government, or there are Nazis on the moon, or whatever, you know what I mean? | |
| The internet just allows you to find a safe space for you and people of a like mind to talk about whatever crazy bullshit you think might be true. | |
| Well, even more so than the internet, you can directly see, so smartphones became ubiquitous, like affordable and everyone could have them, let's say around about 2012, 2014. | |
| And that's when we start seeing just a dramatic uptick in flat-eartherism. | |
| All of a sudden, all these people who couldn't maybe necessarily afford a computer, or like, weren't internet-savvy, had a computer in their hand that let them get on Reddit, that let them get on these dumb message boards and watch YouTube videos whenever they wanted about how the Earth was flat. | |
| And also, a lot of those people were rubes. | |
| And not necessarily in the bad way, but in the same sort of way that somebody from some small town in Alabama or whatever, moving to New York City, their first couple of days, they're going to be a rube. | |
| They're an easy mark. | |
| They're a wide-eyed whatever. | |
| So imagine if it's your first time being Like, given some sort of, like, reliable internet access and then, like, one of your, like, aunts or, like, you know, your nephew or whatever sends you an article from, like, Breitbart or whatever telling you about, like, how libs are evil and, like, Joe Biden has, like, a face, like, melting pedophile tape and, boy, wait until you see it. | |
| Like, uh, it's pretty easy to see how some people might get jumped in pretty quick. | |
| Yeah, they're just like, oh, I have access to this thing. | |
| And the first thing they have access to is, bam, some sort of wild conspiracy theory. | |
| That's like the thing is that you have the QAnon mantra of do your own research is entirely designed around redpilling you. | |
| It's entirely designed about bombarding you with misinformation to see if any of it will stick with you and get you to start going down the rabbit hole a little bit deeper and buying into more misinformation. | |
| Fall the Cabal, which was this crazy redpilling radicalization video, It starts off with the woman who made the video asking some questions about weird shit that happened during the California forest fires. | |
| They'd be like, look at this thing here where this house isn't burned down but everything around it is. | |
| Isn't that weird? | |
| Look at this This car that's upside down as a result of a fire. | |
| Why did that happen? | |
| Look at this tree that's burning from the inside out. | |
| And it just asks you a bunch of weird questions to make you go, hey, that's not how things actually work. | |
| This had to be evil government fire, not like normal, regular fire. | |
| And they just lead you down that road by Yeah, exactly. | |
| you a bunch of nonsense and hitting you with a bunch of misinformation as quickly as possible. | |
| All a riddler cue. I mean, yeah, exactly. It's that it's like, yeah, leading question | |
| It's all about, it's all about just wildly gestulating and being like, well, this is weird, isn't it? | |
| What's going on here? | |
| Huh? | |
| Huh? | |
| And just letting you connect the dots to why the weird thing isn't on the level. | |
| And there's gotta be something sinister behind it. | |
| They're never going to tell you what that sinister thing is. | |
| It's much better for you to solve the puzzle than it is for them to tell you the answer. | |
| I'm going to send you a link to my Geocities website where I talk about how the California wildfires were all done by Ifriti, and then you can judge for yourself what the truth is. | |
| Right, exactly. | |
| Thanks for the question, Grand Inquisitor. | |
| And finally, on Terminator Salvation, I think what would happen is John Connor finds out he's number two on the kill list, and he's like, who's number one? | |
| And his subordinate is like, number one's some civilian we haven't even heard of. | |
| Kyle Reese! | |
| And then they smash-cut the Kyle Reese in prison, and it's like, if the machines know... Yeah, that was it, right? | |
| Kyle Reese is John Connor's dad. | |
| Right, exactly. | |
| They had John Connor's dad just already in a prison, and instead of killing him, eliminating his time-traveling sperm, and solving their problem, they use him as bait to get John Connor there, so that they can kill John Connor, even though they have John Connor. | |
| Yeah, the Terminators are dumb as fuck. | |
| Those movies are very stupid. | |
| Terminator 2 still slaps, but all the other ones are really bad. | |
| Like, decent from the first one all the way to dreadful from Terminator Salvation. | |
| And you're really going to enjoy it when me and Al are hanging out and eating burgers in our new podcast. | |
| We're doing a podcast called Netflix and Grill where we review all kinds of barbecue and other stuff while reviewing terrible movies. | |
| It's going to be awesome. | |
| My webcam is turned off so you can't see me shaking my head because that's a decent name and all, but it had nothing to do with Terminator, you fuck. | |
| I'm going to go with my Terminator podcast within a podcast. | |
| I'll be back. | |
| And what are we talking about? | |
| Nothing but Terminator, like the amazing Sarah Connor Chronicles show. | |
| The extra doesn't make any sense. | |
| Will you guys get better at this before the bit gets fucked into the dirt by us? | |
| We'll see. | |
| No, we won't. | |
| It's going to be an exciting ride for all of us. | |
| It's cool. | |
| You guys can fuck it into the dirt and then try after like a three month hiatus. | |
| I'll bring it back and everyone will cheer and throw tomatoes made of money at me. | |
| Anyway, no, we're running up on our time limit. | |
| We have to get to the next listener question. | |
| I need it! | |
| Kiz Epic asks, what do you think of the Biden presidency so far? | |
| I mean, we kind of talked about it during the pod, but in case it wasn't pretty clear, I feel like it's going pretty well. | |
| And the stuff that is going not so well, I don't think is necessarily Joe Biden's fault so much as it is the fault of moderate Democrats that suddenly have an overwhelming amount of power because of the way our government works. | |
| But, you know, they're passing a fucking almost $2 trillion bill to help bail out our country. | |
| Through the COVID epidemic and, you know, Joe Biden's out there saying that he believes that we're going to have vaccines for everybody by the end of May. | |
| And if that's true, then that's certainly going to be a big win. | |
| So, you know, he's he's only had his ass in the chair for a little while, but I feel like he's doing probably as best as he can. | |
| Right. | |
| He like put his back into like the nuclear deal or like the Paris climate accord or whatever. | |
| He's doing fine. | |
| Yeah, I feel like, yeah, it's early, and we gotta see what happens in a year or so, because you kind of have to steer out of the skid that Trump put us in. | |
| Plus, right now, everything is about COVID, right? | |
| So all we can really judge him on is the response to the most overwhelming thing to have happened to our country in forever. | |
| It's really, it's really funny, like, you look at all those, uh, all those charts of, like, the amount of, amount of COVID, uh, infections and deaths, and America just, like, way above everybody else in the world, and now you look at the vaccines, it's, like, exactly the same, where America's just going crazy, and it's just like, America, we will fuck up harder than anybody, and then we will aggressively fix our fuck up harder than anybody. | |
| I think, like, the only nation that's, like, kind of in the ballpark of us with this stuff is Israel. | |
| And that's just because Israel's like hardcore about the vaccine. They probably have a way bigger | |
| per capita than we do vaccinated, but they're much smaller than us. North Korea has no | |
| reported COVID deaths. | |
| Yeah, I guess if you report your COVID death, they kill you. | |
| That's the way they regulate COVID there. They're like, oh, it can't spread if you die. | |
| So yeah, North Korea's COVID policy is great for preventing transmissions and also maintaining | |
| their life as an actual dystopian hellscape on earth. | |
| Yeah, so the answer to that question may not have been long and it may not have been funny, but it is sort of agreed upon by all three of us that Joe Biden is doing pretty good for his first, like, you know, two months in office. | |
| Thanks for the question. | |
| Let's move it along. | |
| The other Grand Inquisitor, A.I.S. | |
| Millard, who we mentioned earlier, says, what will the state of the mainstream right and far-right extremists like QAnon's be in one year into Biden's presidency? | |
| What will the next reactionary wave look like? | |
| Oh, that's so hard to even begin to guess because they just joined Trump's Trump's new Rube pack. | |
| Yeah, he's like, yes, that's right. | |
| The new Rube super pack. | |
| Give us your give us your money, you dolts. | |
| It's really weird because in a lot of ways, the stuff that QAnon and the far-right quote-unquote care about is happening right now, and you would think if they were going to do anything, they would have done it. | |
| All these vaccine sites should be The target of mass protests, if not outright terrorism? | |
| Because if you actually believed in this shit, you would be terrified that people are being poisoned by the Bill Gates nanorobots and all this crap. | |
| So, I feel like in a year, I just don't know what they're going to complain about other than just going with tried and true racism, bigotry, generic bullshit on that level. | |
| So, I really don't know exactly what they will pivot to. | |
| It's going to be the standard stuff of government overreach, having too many non-white men in positions of power. | |
| Pointed or he nominated two women to be actual like four star generals in the military. | |
| And they'd be like the second and third women to ever rise to that rank once confirmed. | |
| And they had like a big photo of like Biden with with Harris and those two ladies who are up for nomination. | |
| And the caption was like, I want Children to know this is what generals and the vice president could look like. | |
| And it's just that kind of thing. | |
| It's just that white male identity being torn down and multiculturalism. | |
| And it's, I mean, I just think these people are going to be like, just more like Tucker Carlson, generic racists and neo-Nazis and just that kind of Timothy McVeigh shitheadery. | |
| Where we gotta save America from the evil, dusky-hued hordes. | |
| That kind of bullshit. | |
| I think they're just gonna fall back on that because Biden's so milquetoast and boring, it's hard for them to hate him directly. | |
| Like, QAnon didn't hate him until he won the election. | |
| I mean, they spent the entire 2020 campaign waiting for Hillary to swoop in with Michelle Obama as her vice president so they could get their dopamine hit off of hating a woman and a black woman being on the ticket. | |
| I believe you mean a black man. | |
| That's QAnon. | |
| That's QAnon speaking, not me. | |
| She's all lady. | |
| A black trans man, exactly. | |
| But I mean, this is like the whole thing behind the... They're going to 25th Amendment Biden any day now. | |
| They're going to get... Because they just want their misogyny and their racism. | |
| They don't want to hate the old white guy. | |
| They want to hate the middle-aged black lady who's the president now. | |
| Oh man, if Biden ever left the presidency due to some health-related issue, oh, the amount of open misogyny and racism that would just happen. | |
| Biden is the rock in front of that cave, the boulder in front of that cave, and if it ever rolls away, oh man, is there going to be a tidal wave. | |
| Of just absolutely the most aggressively open, racist, misogynist bullshit you've ever seen. | |
| Madam President will blow these people's brains. | |
| Thank you for the question. | |
| Let's get this wagon moving. | |
| And the off-topic question is, how do you guys like to eat tofu? | |
| Fried. | |
| And in mapu tofu. | |
| Easy question. | |
| General Gao slash General Tso style, if you find a place that does a good one, is my preferred way for tofu. | |
| I like tofu a bunch of different ways, but I'm a sucker for that sugar sauce. | |
| I never ate General Gao's chicken for the longest time because I was always warned about its like level of spiciness and then one day I tried it and it was incredible. | |
| I'm not much for tofu. | |
| I haven't had tofu in a dog's age. | |
| It was always for me and when it was prepared for me it was literally just here's your styrofoam slice of tastelessness. | |
| Yeah, tofu is more of a textural experience than a flavor experience. | |
| So like what you're cooking in it matters a lot. | |
| So for that reason, it's just like, I could never understand anyone just offering someone a block of tofu. | |
| Like, would you like to put this blend texture into your mouth? | |
| And you're like, yeah, I guess. | |
| Wow, what an experience. | |
| But yeah, if you ever see a A General Gao's or a General Tso's tofu at a place, try it. | |
| And if the texture is to your liking, hopefully you will enjoy it. | |
| I will have to give that a whirl. | |
| And our final question is from Tim Benal. | |
| I'm terrible of names. | |
| Is Bigfoot real? | |
| Hmm. | |
| I'm going to say no, but pretty much out of all of the cryptids, I would sort of like Bigfoot to be real the most. | |
| I can't really explain why, but I think there's just something magical about the idea that there's just some sort of large forest ape creeping around in the American Northwest. | |
| I think that would be pretty rad. | |
| It would be really cool if we did have something like that happen where there was this kind of species that didn't exist and then did exist. | |
| That would be really crazy. | |
| I saw something about some sort of animal in Australia that they think they may have actually found one. | |
| They thought it was extinct for like over hundreds of years. | |
| I can't remember the name of it. | |
| But like that kind of thing would be wild and also wildly entertaining if it ever came to pass. | |
| Yeah, I mean, that sort of thing happens with, like, real animals, like, periodically. | |
| I feel like, like, you know, you're good for, like, one of them a decade, right? | |
| Where it'll be like, oh, our wildlife camera caught this marmoset that we thought was extinct, or this bird that nobody thought was still around. | |
| But, you know, at this point, it just seems like, especially nowadays, with everybody having a fucking camera phone, like, boy, howdy, if you thought there was some eight-foot-tall ape man anywhere in America, and they were keeping it on the DL, then they must have some, like, active camo, like, Master Chief style, or Predator style, like... | |
| I think it was Mitch Hedberg who made that bit about Bigfoot exists, he's just blurry. | |
| Maybe that's true. | |
| Maybe they've just got some sort of genetic superpower, like octopus camouflage, that makes them blurry. | |
| Otherwise, it seems really unlikely that we would not have had a clear photograph of them. | |
| Or a corpse, right? | |
| What are they doing with all their dead? | |
| Are they burying them? | |
| Right, exactly. | |
| Yeah, so Bigfoot is real because the real Bigfoot was in us the whole time. | |
| Yeah, or the friends we made along the way. | |
| All of these things. | |
| Yeah, Bigfoot is the One Piece. | |
| Monkey D. Luffy and crew are going to get to the One Piece and they're going to figure out that it was just Bigfoot hanging out and chilling. | |
| Anyway, folks, that's our show for this week. | |
| Thanks for listening to us. | |
| But before we go out, you know that you know that Daddy's got a shill. | |
| We didn't do it at the top of the show, partially out of forgetfulness and partially to save you from having to listen to it twice, but you know we're doing it on the back end, baby. | |
| So, if you've been enjoying the show, we recommend that you please tell a friend! | |
| You know, go ahead and smash the equivalent of that like button, if it's a... be that, you know, the actual button on the internet someplace, or just by telling your friends that you know three jerks that talk about stuff that might be pretty funny. | |
| If you want to donate to us, you can break us off a piece of that hot, hot dough, and you can donate to our Patreon at Poker & Politics, or if you don't have the money, or if you don't want to give your hard-earned money to us, you can donate your money to Love146.org, which is an organization that helps abate human trafficking the way that Q would like you to read about, but doesn't do anything about. | |
| However, if you decide to give your money to us, you can join our list of fabulous, beautiful baby donors and get your name shouted out on the podcast, like I'm about to do for a couple of our brand new $5 donors who we have to thank. | |
| The first of which being AntiqueQ, spelled like the word antique with a hyphen in the middle of it to make it like fun and punny. | |
| Thanks for the dough and the support. | |
| And our second new $5 donor, username WWG1WGA is a slogan for all gender bathrooms. | |
| Yes, that is the name they gave us. | |
| It is a fun joke. | |
| For those of you who haven't put it together yet, that is where we go one, we go all, which is QAnon's rallying cry for their digital troops while they try to digivolve their Digimon. | |
| So yeah, so thanks for the support, folks. | |
| Again, if you don't want to give us any money, just go ahead and spread the word about us to help us grow, and we can continue to talk about all the weird pop culture stuff that has nothing to do with Q with a sprinkling of the Q's News You Come From. | |
| Come forward. | |
| Jesus, I'm having trouble talking right now. | |
| My God, am I having a stroke? | |
| Is this happening in media res? | |
| Anyway, if you want to get in touch with us, you can do so on Twitter, at Poker and Politics for Mike Rains, at Hellworld L for myself, and at Hellworld Sarge for Sarge. | |
| Of course, Hellworld being spelled with a Q in place of the O for cleverness reasons. | |
| Also, if you want to send any sexy Smurf Fan art to Sarge, at Hellworld Sarge on Twitter. | |
| Show your love for our CW spin on the Smurfs, Three Apples High, bringing it sexy to televisions near you in 2024. | |
| So, for the Adventures in Hellworld podcast, I am El, signing off for Mr. Mike Rains and Mr. Hellworld Sarge. |