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Oct. 21, 2020 - Adventures in HellwQrld
01:22:46
Adventures In HellwQrld Episode 5: Pizzagate 2020 and Q is lazy

It's the Trump 2020 campaign and we're replaying all the Pizzagate hits from 2016. That and this batch of QDrops is weak stuff but we gotta tell the story as Q told it because learning just how crummy Q is makes mocking him that much more enjoyable. Get bonus content on PatreonSupport this show http://supporter.acast.com/hellwqrld. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Hello everyone, Poker and Politics here with another three-man Adventures in Hellworld podcast.
I am, as always, joined by Sarge.
Hello.
And the Mysterious L. That's me, baby.
Shrouded in mystery, just like always.
Oh, a riddle and an enigma, shrouded in bacon, as it were.
You're the Racer X of podcasts.
Yes!
He's got a mask on, you can't see his face, even though you can see his face, so it's pretty obvious who he is, but we don't know who he is, and it never gets resolved.
Or maybe it did, I didn't actually... Or maybe it did, I didn't actually... Or maybe it did, I didn't actually... Or maybe it did, I didn't actually... Or maybe it did, I didn't actually... Or maybe it did, I didn't actually... Or maybe it did, I didn't actually... Or maybe it did, I didn't actually... Or maybe it did, I didn't actually... Or maybe it did, I didn't actually... Or maybe it did, I didn't actually... Or maybe it did, I didn't actually... Or maybe it did, Why wouldn't you be wrapped in bacon?
That was the quote by Winston Churchill about the Soviet Union, wasn't it?
Why wouldn't the Soviet Union be wrapped in bacon?
Right, exactly.
Is that a real thing?
No, it's not.
Oh, I was like, holy shit!
He said that it's a riddle shrouded in mystery wrapped in an enigma, and people just take enigma and replace it with bacon.
Makes it a lot more delicious.
Anyways, in case you didn't know, this is a podcast that deals with QAnon, which means it deals with some bad things.
So, quickly, a little content warning.
Content Warning The Adventures in Hellworld Podcast talks in depth about QAnon, which means we have to talk about all kinds of child abuse and violence against people.
Listener discretion advised.
Thank you, Voice of QAnon, for that message.
By the way, everybody, if you support the podcast and want to help us out, word of mouth is great.
Letting people know we're cool is great.
And if you really like us, you can donate on Patreon at patreon.com slash pokerpolitics and help us out.
If me and the crew are not worthy of your cold, hard cash, then please donate to Love 146.org.
They are an anti-human trafficking group who actually is fighting to stop human trafficking, unlike QAnon who just yell and scream and tie up the phone lines of actual people fighting human trafficking, preventing them from doing their jobs.
There are actual experts out there right now who are saying that QAnon is aggressively hurting their anti-child trafficking operations because they're monsters and they're morons.
So it's really good.
So, do your part if you're financially able to.
If not, word of mouth is the best we can hope for from a lot of you, but if you happen to have the extra money, you can either donate it directly to our podcast to help us try to get the good word out there, or you can donate it to an actual charity actually fighting the good fight against QAnon.
Either one is good.
Yes.
Both options.
Give us money, fools.
Oh, Sarge just aggressively on the grift.
The Martin Geddes of our podcast.
Who's just like, I'm a great man, give me money.
Yes.
I am grift compatible.
I'm a mediocre man, so I deserve the money more than great men.
Great men can get their own money.
Give me your money.
So now that we have finished our groveling before the masses, as is the result of late-stage capitalism for all podcasters' lives, it's time for the ultra-important part of our podcast known as Q's in the News.
What's everyone's favorite death cult been up to this past week?
It's time for Q's in the News!
I feel like before we dive into Q's in the News, let me just address something that might come up.
If the audio levels are a little wonky, it's because, you know, pandemic and all that stuff.
We're not exactly all in the same room doing this, and we're figuring it out.
So the audio stuff will get better over time, but you know, we're just three stupid Stupid men doing our best during the global pandemic, which is totally a hoax, and don't worry about it.
It will go away on November 4th after Trump wins all 50 states.
The Democrats will just admit that it was all a lie, and we'll just get back to living the good life we had before, under Donald Trump, the greatest president America has ever known.
That's when the storm of late red October happens.
Red November, as it has been called in the QAnon universe, where finally, after three years of false promises, we finally get to kill all the liberals and make America great.
And by great, I mean a Christian fascist dictatorship.
Tom Clancy needs to come out with a new book for the November crowd.
For these Q supporters that don't have anything to call November.
Like, Tom Clancy's most riveting new thriller, Azure November!
And it's just like, oh shit.
That's gonna be hard, since Tom Clancy's dead.
Is Tom Clancy dead?
Yeah.
Okay, well then reanimate the corpse of Tom Clancy using adrenochrome and get him to write Azure November.
Or just have Q take up the mantle of Tom Clancy.
He can become like T.C.
Anon or something.
Or we write the book and we write it under the name Tom Clancy.
You can't copyright a name.
Nope.
You can't trademark a name.
Nope, it's ours.
It's ours now.
That man's cold and dead in the ground and now we are Tom Clancy.
Yes.
We are Tom Clancy and we are going to write terrible books for boomers that are going to get them all kinds of hard or moist depending on how they express their sexual arousal and then we're going to make lots of money off them because we're going to scam them with stupid books.
Books for Boomers sounds like an incredible charity that we need to start.
Yes.
Just add it to the list of things we need to start.
We need to write a book under the name of Tom Clancy.
We need to start a charity called Books for Boomers.
We need to do our pop culture podcast, The Soft Boys.
Yes.
Is Books for Boomers like a loot crate kind of deal, but we send them just basic, like, Vaccines don't cause autism, man.
I'm picturing it as one of those book fair bookmobiles that drives up to white people cul-de-sacs with Kellyanne Conway's biography and shit like that.
Paula Deen cookbooks.
Paula Deen cookbooks and Tom Clancy novels.
Just all you boomer kids.
Donald Trump Jr.' 's Triggered book.
Anything that obviously didn't sell and was just part of a massive scam, we just give them to boomers to make them feel better about themselves.
Anything they sell in the book aisle at Costco?
Yes, absolutely.
That's books for boomers right there.
We've found our niche.
We're now canceling this podcast and we're going out to buy a truck and we're going to tour America giving away books.
Yeah, as a non-profit that makes a ton of money.
The Republican way.
Yes, we're going to be like the Coleman for the Cure Foundation where you just take all the money and then run an ad saying, Breast Cancer!
Bad!
Be concerned about it!
Thanks.
I love that.
Yes, and then get arrested on a Chinese billionaire's yacht.
That was Steve Bannon getting arrested a while ago, but yes.
Elle steering us back to the shores of rationality, actually not.
Our planned topic, as it were, was the fact that Jazaine Maxwell had her most recent request to keep depositions sealed and secret rejected.
So that information is about to be made public in the next few days.
So if, I don't know, some security cameras in her wing of the prison suddenly stop working, Hashtag GesaneMaxwellDidntKillHerself is possibly going to start trending on Twitter any moment now.
Now, I'm sure that most of our listeners are pretty savvy, but for people, like, possibly, that might not know who the fuck that is, for once, I do know who we're talking about, but for people who might not know, who exactly is GesaneMaxwell?
EarnamGesaneMaxwell?
Yeah!
She is a 4'5 that grants Forest Walk to an enemy.
No, she was basically Epstein's madam.
She was the recruiter of all of the children that he was using in his pedophile ring.
That is proof that Q was right about everything because Q barely talked about Epstein except to say he was going to get away with all of it because he was rich and powerful and connected.
So she was Miss Frizzle on the Epstein Magic School Bus?
Yes.
Sarge's horrified laugh.
I mean, what else am I gonna do?
She's a person responsible for trafficking large groups of young people.
Sounds like a school bus to me.
With a magical teacher?
I mean, I don't know how magical she is.
I know of the woman, but I do not know about her magic properties.
Heavily implied she's some sort of sorceress.
At least the bus is.
Are we talking about Maxwell or Miss Frizzle here?
Yes.
Both, correct.
So yeah, so this, the thing that's kind of funny about all this is that there has been some reaction to this news in the QAnon community and because the QAnon community is totally concerned about child trafficking, it's all they care about, somehow this is only rated like one-tenth of all the news about Trump and Biden in the election, It's really odd how this totally not a cult of personality based around Donald Trump being an infallible god suddenly forgets their supposed core values
concerns about child trafficking and this woman who was a child trafficker who is actually being tried by our legal system for her crimes that she will probably be convicted of and QAnon's like oh yeah by the way that pedophile lady yeah they're gonna get her but now back to Joe Biden having dementia and being in bed with the chi-coms and Oh yeah, Q loves that picture of Maxwell and Epstein with the Clintons, but they never talk about the picture of Trump with them.
Oh, keep your friends closer, your enemies closer.
That's always the excuse they have with this nonsense.
They are always so defensive of Trump's entire life before he became president, when he was basically just hanging around Epstein all the time and constantly talking about how he wanted to have sex with his daughter.
Like, all of that was just his charming rogue subterfuge, and he was planning to become the president the whole time.
I mean, I sort of buy that maybe Trump was just making sure that he was around Epstein, so that way Epstein never got any designs on Trump's young daughter.
Trump just needed to stick around and be like, hey, if anyone's gonna be fucking my underage daughter, it's gonna be me.
Now, I'm not saying that Trump has had sex with his daughter, because that would be salacious and possibly libelous or whatever.
But we are saying that he wants to.
But I am saying that he is on record saying that he would love to.
I mean, his daughter's beautiful, and it's just like, yeah, we're allowed to say that, but not you.
I mean, we've belittled this point on a few of the podcasts already, but... It's just like, it's just so unreal.
And also, like, you know, as part of Q's narrative of, like, Trump being this untouchable god, like, you figure that they probably just have to wait out how this, like, unsealing of documents plays out, because if they push all their chips in the middle, backing the system and how it works and how this, uh...
This pedophile madam is going to drop names and she's going to blow the lid off of it.
It's going to look real bad for them when she blows the lid off of it and just being like, oh yeah, I wrangled two 14-year-olds into a three-way with Donald Trump in 1998.
They pissed all over him in his bed.
It was incredible.
Then they'll have to be like, oh, the cabal!
They got to her!
She's lying!
And she produces the tape of the kids peeing on Trump.
Fake news, deep fake, it's all a lie!
Their burning hatred of reality that contradicts their narratives is the stuff of legend.
They'll never accept anything they don't like, which is why November 3rd could potentially be incredibly devastating to them.
So Mike, you're a gambler.
Vegas odds on, what's her name?
Maxwell.
Odds on Maxwell actually living to see trial.
What's the overrunner?
I would say living to see trial is like the very slight favorite.
I would say like living to see trial is like minus 115 and not making it to trial is like probably like plus 105.
So, like, it's a tight line.
It's a very tight line because, like, I don't feel like Hillary Clinton, like, parachuted into Epstein's, like, prison cell, all rainbows, all Mission Impossible style.
But I do think there were people that just sort of told him to, like, get lost, buddy.
And I think that that's an enticing offer when you literally lived as an ultra-rich one-percenter your whole life.
And now you're going to spend the rest of your existence in a supermax, where you spend 23 hours a day in an 8x8 cell, and then you get to go out into an enclosed outdoor space for one hour, eat your gruel, and then go back to your hole.
And then get stabbed by a sharp-edged toothbrush.
Right!
I mean, it's just like, your life is going to be bleak shittiness until you die for the rest of your existence.
And before this, you were literally eating Here's a fun deal.
old age steak and like having like $5,000 meals prepared for you that you
didn't even pay for because you were just opulent and rich and this was your
lifestyle and going from that to the 8x8 sell for 23 hours a day you know what I
don't see why hanging myself would be a bad idea and that's why.
Here's a fun deal. I actually found sportsbook advisor has has the odds on how she's gonna die.
Do you want to hear them?
Yes, we'll list them and I'll try to give the odds.
Okay, accident.
Accident, is it accident in quotes or is it like a real accident?
Yeah, accident in quotes and then suicide in quotes.
Oh god, accident's probably the favorite at like minus 250 and then suicide's probably like minus 125.
Accident they have it two to one, and then suicide at three to one.
These odds are, I think, based on assuming that something is going to happen to her.
And then we have killed, bracket, other prisoners or a patsy, then natural causes, heart attack, stroke, non-COVID, and then COVID.
Oh, I should have seen COVID as being an option to bet on.
Well, as soon as she got put in irons, they were worried that she might have COVID, because she had some sort of symptoms.
That was like Harvey Weinstein was either scared of getting COVID or had COVID, and everyone was freaking out that this was how they were going to ice Weinstein before he could finally talk.
Even though Weinstein's been in jail for like a year, you would think he would have already flipped at that point.
Dude, you have no idea how far Patton Oswalt's reach.
At any moment Patton Oswalt could reach out and just veritably fucking break Weinzies neck himself.
So powerful is his pedophile reach.
Yes.
Patton Oswalt literally like the head of the cabal.
He sits on the left hand side of George Soros.
Lady Gaga obviously sits on his right hand side.
That's the power triangle.
Big statue of Satan behind them.
Big statue of Moloch behind Satan.
If anyone wants to draw that fan art for us, go nuts.
Somebody's got tag-patting on their head.
That 70s show, they've decided he gets to go ahead and go to trial for rape.
Well, that's what happens.
That tends to be what happens when you rape people.
That's how it's supposed to work.
Not that America's system works that way, but hey.
Wow, what an incredibly upbeat and uplifting first segment we've had.
Oh, but don't worry.
This segment's about to get even more upbeat and glorious because we're going to sidestep away from the Ghislaine Maxwell potential death in prison to the fact that the Trump 2020 campaign has decided that we're not going to win this election through sanity or coherence.
We're gonna win this reelection by just going straight back to Pizzagate.
We're just gonna go the exact same playbook that happened in 2016 where the Podesta emails leaked mysteriously and then creepy lunatics and weirdos concocted bullshit around those emails to create the idea that John Podesta and Hillary Clinton were running a child sex trafficking ring out of a pizza joint Now we have the Hunter Biden laptop, which was mysteriously dropped off in New York, even though Hunter Biden lived in Los Angeles, to a blind man who somehow still knew it was Hunter Biden's laptop, and they cracked that thing open like an egg, which is what you do.
You don't go to the FBI and give it to them.
You yourself go snooping around the emails personally, and he found some stuff that was really disturbing.
I don't want to tell you but oh boy this stuff is really explosive and really scary and it's really bad and Hunter Biden and Joe Biden are gonna go to jail for forever now and yes and you have to believe me you don't have to Rudy Giuliani would never lie to you he's an honest man and a straight broker and so is Steve Bannon and all of these people are totally on the up-and-up and what they've seen is true and real and now Donald Trump has to be president for life 100% Yeah, and I kept up on this news a little bit as it was breaking, and it turns out the blind computer repair guy, which first of all, I mean if you're blind, I don't want you in charge of my computer repair.
Maybe that's just me, maybe that's being ableist, and if so I'm sorry, but some stuff just seems like it requires sight, and computer repair is one of them.
By touch.
Yeah, he learned how to repair a computer by ear.
He's a pinball wizard.
It's in there, and he fondles the computer parts until they're fixed.
Wait, so I missed out on this whole blind computer.
Start from the top.
There was a legendary blind computer.
Okay, so yeah, let me hip you to it, and Mike can jump in if I'm mistaken.
So, according to this guy, Hunter Biden and his team had, I think it was multiple laptops.
Three laptops.
Three laptops that were malfunctioning and they needed to be serviced.
They dropped them off to this guy's repair shop in New York, and he is, like, legally blind.
He's not, like, actual, like, you know, stick-on-the-street blind or whatever, but apparently he is legally blind.
And at first, he said that he did not know who the laptops belonged to.
Uh, then later, his story changed to, oh, I knew it was Hunter Biden.
He introduced himself to me by name.
Uh, so, his story, like, completely changed, uh, at some point, from not knowing who they belonged to, to knowing explicitly they were Hunter Bidens.
Anyway, apparently the Hunter Biden people left these laptops with him to be repaired
and then just never came back for them.
These laptops filled with sensitive information, they dropped them off there, they didn't come
back for them in like the 65 day period or whatever that the guy claims that the Biden
group was under contract with him for.
So then, after the 65 days, the laptops legally became his so he could legally snoop around
in them and while snooping around in them, he cracked one of them and he found secret
stuff.
If you're into that sort of stuff, don't worry about it.
How damaging is it?
Incredibly damaging.
Why aren't we releasing it before the election?
Don't worry about it.
And so, originally, like some of the stuff was dealings with Ukraine.
Just like all the kind of bullshit that they were throwing out there about corruption.
Then QAnon and not only QAnon but some actual right-wing kooks who have existed in the world decided that you know Ukrainian corruption is great and all but what could really sell this thing is actual fucking pedophilia.
We're just gonna go whole hog on this shit being just terrifyingly horrible and bad.
And the first person up on our list was Ron Watkins, the son of Jim Watkins, and the guy who basically runs 8kun while Jim just like is the owner of the place and Ron Watkins tweeted out that he quote-unquote accidentally saw some child pornography and that the image was terrifying and disturbing and he forwarded it to the FBI and he hopes and he hopes that when he saw the person who did the bad things to the child would be murdered for them
Like post haste like he wanted just an extrajudicial killing of this person for the bad thing he saw them do to this child in the child pornography that he again totally saw by accident.
On accident.
For the listeners at home who might not have ever been on a Chan or a Coon or one of these sketchy, terrible image boards, this whole part of the narrative is laughable and ridiculous because straight up, these image boards are and always have been A haven for people to disseminate child pornography.
I mean, that was like 4chan's bag back in the day.
It was one of those things where even if you were just like a regular normal person that wanted to troll 4chan to try to find the dank memes before they became popular so you could be some sort of meme hipster, like you had to do so while dodging the minefield of the frequent uploads of child pornography to these places.
So, for somebody involved in the management of one of these image boards to be clutching their pearls over this supposed child pornography, I mean, that should, in fact, be the way people react to it, but it seems kind of sus here.
I mean, I'm no Among Us player, but if this guy came to the table talking to me about that, I'd be launching his ass out the airlock straight away.
He hit the emergency meeting button.
I'm like, hey, emergency meeting, the guy who runs 8coon, he's talking about not wanting to see child pornography,
and then cut to him circling out of the airlock into the vacuum of space.
Yeah.
So apparently, so like to end this, so like the laptop apparently, like the laptops, like this guy cracked them.
He found Hunter Biden's secret pedophile stash, and also Ukraine papers, and all these smoking guns.
Like, all fucking smoking arsenal.
And then, he decided to try to give them to the FBI, and they, like, wouldn't take them, or whatever, and somehow Giuliani got his hands on them?
Is it, like, right, Mike?
Yes, like, the guy was like, I sent this to the FBI, and then I sent it to the man I trust the most on this earth, Rudy Giuliani, and- And no one ever.
Rudy, I did not know that person was a Russian spy, Giuliani.
Yes.
And so Rudy and today Rudy and Steve Bannon were out having a bro session.
Steve Bannon who's about to do 40 years hard time for his uh fake wall scam and they were like yeah the next 28 to 48 24 to 48 hours we're gonna drop more Hunter Biden emails and it's going to blow this thing wide open.
Which is how you totally admit that this is an oppo dump and a rat fucking operation that you're not dropping it immediately because it's so bad it needs to be seen right now.
You're like, we could drop this now or we could save it for right before the debate so maybe we could catch Biden unawares on a question he isn't ready for yet.
So yeah, we're timing this incredibly important matter of national security for maximum political gain vis-a-vis the debate on Thursday.
But don't worry, Biden's fleet of people that he has working the sticks while his cochlear implant just vibrates messages into his brain.
He'll be prepared for any question.
Yeah, and the new debate rules.
Oh, that's awesome.
They're muting the microphones now, so it's awesome.
Well, I mean, they fucking have to.
Donald Trump is an animal.
He can't be trusted with a microphone.
Or a Twitter account.
Or anything.
But again, Ron Watkins is just the piece of shit that's the son of the piece of shit that runs 8kun.
Wayne Allen Root is a crank and a moron, but he was actually the Libertarian candidate for Vice President in 2008.
He is a radio show host, a right-wing idiot grifter, and this prick And he posted this on Twitter and it got so much goddamn engagement because Twitter's doing such an incredible job of tracking down QAnon and its adjacent conspiracy theory bullshit.
But this is Wayne Allyn Root's tweet about this.
BREAKING NEWS, ALL CAPS.
MY SOURCE IS AS HIGH UP AS IT GETS.
So literally Trump himself sent this to Wayne Allyn Root.
WATCHED VIDEOS ON HUNTER'S LAPTOP TODAY, ALL CAPS.
just told me point blank, no rumor, they saw Hunter raping and torturing little Chinese children,
Chinese government has the same videos, Biden is compromised, blackmail, can never be Prez.
So, this is actual, like, real people who are in the world, like, actually just going out of their way to say,
yeah, there's a Hunter Biden pedo video on the laptop and we have it.
And I've heard from people as high up as possible that they've seen the Hunter Biden rapes a Chinese child video.
It's real and it's legitimate and we can trust it.
Wow, so I can't wait for this video to drop in like tomorrow or the next day because it totally exists and will totally be dropped and then boy will our faces be red.
Oh man, they're going to drop this and then they're going to drop the Hillary face carving video right behind it and the Michelle Obama whitey tape right behind that.
It's just going to be a tidal wave, just a waterfall of dropped video and audio.
They're going to print out all of the emails on the Wiener laptop and just drop them like leaflets over every major American city.
Yes.
VHS tapes will just be raining from the sky.
VHS tapes of Michelle Obama saying Whitey will be all over us.
They'll just be pelting us in the head.
Ow!
Stop it!
Stop it!
Yes, it was a huge thing.
It was this giant thing going into the final two months of the McCain-Obama election.
People were like, you guys are all confident Obama's going to win now, but once you wait, once Michelle Obama gets, they prove that Michelle Obama said whitey in a speech sometime many years ago, that's it.
America's going to run to John McCain and he'll be president.
It's going to be great.
Like, so what?
I mean, yeah, Whitey is such a soft, racial barb.
And also, white people have all the power, so who gives a fuck?
Michelle Obama could call me a cracker to my face, and I'd be like, yeah, I deserve that.
I got called cracker one time, and I was just like, uh, okay.
Did it make you feel bad?
No, of course it didn't, because you're white!
I'm white.
Mike is white.
We're all white.
So, we're immune to that shit, because first of all, no one has ever invented a good white racial epithet.
It's never happened.
Like, all of them are lame.
None of them are offensive.
I'm not offended by any of them.
I've never met anyone who would actually be offended by being called.
White bread, or crack, or honky, or redneck, or whatever.
So all the terms are dumb.
And second, even if they did manage to invent an incredibly vulgar-sounding racial epithet for white people, if somebody throws one my way, what am I gonna do?
Is it gonna make me any less white?
Is it gonna make my penis fall off?
No!
I'm still a white male in this country.
Fuck it.
Whatever.
Call me whatever you want.
The world is still catered to you and designed for us.
Period.
We have privilege, which I know people don't like to hear, but that's just the way it is.
Even if you're a poor white person, you're still better off than a poor person who's not white.
Period.
End of story.
That's just how it works.
You know why?
Because when a cop pulls you over, you're not fearing for your life.
You're not worried.
You have options.
You have opportunities.
Just the ability of being white makes you better in society.
Did you hear they started filming cops again?
Because they have international contracts they have to meet.
The international community loves watching our cops run down our meth heads.
They stopped, they cancelled C.O.P.S., but then they had international contracts to fulfill, so they started filming C.O.P.S.
again.
I believe it's in Washington State.
Oh, thank God.
Well, I mean, they needed to start filming C.O.P.S.
again because G4 is coming back.
What?
What year is it?
I mean, that's, hey man, it's just the way it is.
G4 is coming back, they need content, C.O.P.S.
is there.
Just like when G4 went off the air last time.
Oh, thank God.
We are just trying to constantly spin ourselves back into these weird nostalgia clicks where it's like, that thing happened and this was the weird show that was around when that existed and now we're here again and the world never gets any better and everything just continues to spiral terribly.
Hey, that's why you wanted me as a co-host.
You needed an aggressively liberal person to help navigate you through the pop culture vortex.
That's all I live for, is to have your steady hand on the wheel of American pop culture.
Oh captain, my captain!
We live in a nation where our president wanted to keep filming his reality show from the White House.
Oh, that would have been so great.
Just imagine him talking about the ratings of his reality show while president.
And be like, can you, I don't know, fix COVID?
Do you really have to waste your time debating if you're going to fire Gary Busey or Meatloaf?
Is that what America needs?
And you just actually have Trump on Twitter debating with America if he should fire The Loaf or not.
Dr. Fauci!
You're fired.
Ratings huge.
Oh god.
Dr. Fauci's fired.
Fauci gets up, solemnly walks out of the room.
Meatloaf wipes away the flop sweat, gets to stay another week.
She's like, oh, I thought Fauci sold that lipstick way better than me, but I guess I was wrong.
She's like, yeah.
Yeah, Meatloaf, Penn, Dennis Rodman, Roseanne Barr.
Did you watch The Apprentice, Mike?
I watched it before it became Celebrity Apprentice.
I watched like a half of the first season.
Wow, you heard it here, folks.
I am the reason why Trump is President.
I'm the monster.
I ruined America.
Mike likes to think he's so liberal, but then when it comes down to admitting whether or not you watched The Apprentice, he's right there.
Guilty.
Fucking hat in his hands, looking down in his shoes.
Yes, yes, I watched The Apprentice, sir!
Oh, tears streaming down my cheeks right now.
The pain of acknowledging that I thought Donald Trump was a harmless moron and not the genocidal monster he truly was.
I was blind.
I was an ignorant child back then.
I thought Donald Trump was a harmless racist moron before the Republicans couldn't stand up anybody with an iota more charisma than him.
The thing that blows my mind about all of that was they just couldn't run to the reality of the wall when Trump was like, I will build the wall and Mexico will pay for it.
It was a losing proposition for any Republican to say, he actually can't do that, folks.
It actually won't work out that way.
And then Trump was like, oh yeah, the wall just got 10 feet higher.
And the Republicans were like, yeah, we're voting for the guy who's preaching a fantasy that will never happen.
And all the other Republicans were like, goddammit.
I mean, at that point, if you're Ted Cruz, wouldn't you just be like, look, if you vote for me, your dick will get two inches larger and I'll give you an extra couple hundred bucks a week.
I mean, just fucking lie your ass off at that point.
Yeah, I'll put bald eagles trained with guns on top of the wall.
Right!
Right.
Trump's going to build a wall.
I'll nuke Mexico.
I'll fucking turn Mexico into a glass parking lot.
I'll make them pay for it.
I will destroy Mexico and make them pay for it.
Anything.
I mean, just keep pulling the racism needle further and further down until you pin it.
Create the most ridiculous fantasy possible.
You're next, Canada.
But Canadians are white.
But they're French.
Yeah, we're going to invade Canada and Mexico and destroy them.
We're just going to conquer the world if you vote for me.
You might as well have just gone down that road.
We'll get the poutine and the tamales, kill the rest.
Yeah, exactly.
All dressed chips, we don't even know what that fucking means.
Welcome to Missile Town.
That would have been what they should have done, like, after Trump promised them all in Mexico, all the other republicans should have said, we're going to do Mexico AND Canada!
And then we're going to build seawalls so China can't get in through the Pacific!
Just Fortress America!
And it's like, in a shocking twist, Rand Paul is now president, and we're just building a giant snow globe around America to keep everybody out.
We're going to look at the fucking topomatic bubble from trouble.
We have a wall-based economy.
The American dollar is replaced with a wall.
If you like me, I'll make sure that there is a wall around the border of every state.
Just literally walls everywhere.
Walls fix everything.
Make America a labyrinth again.
Everyone gets the wall on their phone for free and they can't delete it.
It's a free wall app.
If you see a proud person you're like, just turn on this wall app and just point it at them.
You can't get me proud person!
I've got a wall!
But then they can have the ladder app, and that bypasses your wall app.
No!
They're always one step ahead.
Or a tunnel app, or a rope app.
Or just up-pushing on it pretty hard.
That was the greatest thing in the world when the wind just toppled that section of the wall.
It was like, oh shit, we forgot about wind.
There's only one song allowed.
The Wall.
Thank you.
Oh, is that the song?
Oh, man, the payoff of that was incredible.
Thanks.
Thanks, Sarge.
I was like, what song could he be thinking about?
Oh, The Wall.
But yeah, so this is the ridiculously stupid nature of the political campaign right now.
It's just, We have nothing.
We can't actually run on our coronavirus record.
We can't run on Joe Biden being a socialist communist lunatic.
All we've got is his son's a pedophile and China knows this and they're going to blackmail Hunter Biden with his pedophilia and that's why Joe can't fight China.
We literally have to mute our president.
Yeah, we literally, yeah.
And I just wonder, like, how many people are going to just self-immolate on behalf of the
Trump campaign to peddle this bullshit?
Like, how many people are going to be just like, you know what?
You know what I wanted to go out on my sword with as a political consultant?
Accusing my opponent of being a pedophile.
That seems like a rational, issue-based campaign that I can put on my resume in four years when Tom Cotton or Ted Cruz or whoever the fuck it is runs for the Republican nomination They're going to be like, hey, is Bob Jones doing any work today?
I liked his pedophilia dig at Joe Biden.
It really got the people on fire.
So I think we need to go with the guy that just accused his opponent of being a pederast.
I mean, it's a pretty fucking bold claim and nothing to back it up.
So I can't wait for this mysterious laptop information to hit the market and for all of us to be proven wrong.
Oh god, it is going to be so awkward.
We're going to have to have an entire crow eating podcast.
Yes!
We're going to have to be on Twitch with actual crows that we have somehow murdered and cooked and we will feast on them as the truth of Hunter Biden's raging violent pedophilia is exposed to the world and the Democratic Party collapses because the drug addict son of the guy running for president?
That's what does it to sin, is Hunter Biden.
Joe Biden just wouldn't be like, oh, I didn't know my son was a pedophile.
Push him aside.
Still win the election by about three points because no one cares that everyone fucking hates Trump anyways.
But I just I just love this.
I love that this is where we're at right now is blind shop owner and Chinese billionaire or whoever are these people finding laptops that are falling out of the sky into their hands totally un...
He's Daredevil.
Yes.
The Daredevil of computer repairs.
With echolocation, he can figure out where the virus is on your computer and defrag it.
He is Repair Devil.
Yes.
Yeah, that's right.
That flowed way too well.
I was like, this isn't going to work.
Then you were like, Repair Devil.
I'm like, that's actually good.
Yeah.
I mean, fucking Marvel Comics, hit me up.
Yeah, we can make a failed Netflix show.
It'll get three seasons and then it'll die because it doesn't integrate into your movies.
No.
Pop culture reference!
Oh, away!
Okay, well, it sure looks like we didn't have much to talk about in the news because we've only been talking about the news for like 40 minutes.
That is, uh, that's the thing.
We always go into the news segment being like, man, we got some thin gruel this week, cut to almost an hour into the podcast.
Oh man!
We sure got, we sure lost track of time in reality in the news segments.
It turns out you can, you can pad out almost anything.
Now, seamless segue to three years ago.
Yes.
You can pad out almost anything with pop culture references.
Oh, that's, and we have, and we have.
That's me.
El's pop culture references are like the potatoes in your thin gruel.
I live only for potatoes.
That's the box quote for when we're pitching the podcast to sponsors.
It's just like, they're like the potato.
They're pop culture references.
They're like the potatoes in your news gruel.
And people are just like, get out of our office.
It's COVID times.
This meeting is digital.
They're like, still, get out of my office.
They fly us to their office just to throw us out of their office, and we richly deserve it.
You can make all the Racer X jokes you could want.
Oh, we are here for that.
We are here for that.
Bro, we're in Q territory.
We'd have to be Racer, like, at least three Xs, maybe four.
Spooky groove!
Spooky groove and into the Matrix XXXX!
Yeah, oh, we are so hardcore XXX597369.
Okay, so where the fuck were we on the Q timeline?
We're almost done, right?
Yeah, we basically completed every Q drop that matters.
When last we left, it was October 31st, 2017, and Q had declared that everything was going to be fixed very soon, quote-unquote, clean and swift.
So we're really just on the short strokes here.
We're really on the downhill.
Just a few more days and Hillary and Obama will be in leg irons being transported to Guantanamo Bay for their summery hangings.
And when it doesn't happen I'm sure Q will be the first person I just love the idea of Mr. Clean being Illuminati.
That just works for me.
describing how the justice was coming. I was talking about two more operatives for the
Deep State, Mr. Clean and Taylor Swift. They're all in on it together. Pat Oswalt is their
overlord. I just love the idea of Mr. Clean being Illuminati.
That just works for me.
It's almost as good as Pat Oswalt being on a throne made out of like child orphans. The
thing about Taylor Swift is that there was this whole thing about her being an icon for
white nationalism and she came out as a flaming lib and they got really sad.
They were like, but Taylor, you're so white!
And she's just like, yeah, and I'm still liberal.
They're just like, boo, you make my peepee sad.
I like my sexual fantasies to be neo-Nazis and sociopaths, and finding out that you have empathy makes me sad.
Oh man, so many Q supporters.
That's our first t-shirt.
I like my sexual fantasies to be Neo-Nazis.
Yes, that's our first piece of merchandise we're gonna be putting on the website when we have a website when that ever happens.
Fucking gotta imagine that they're just legions of Q followers just aggressively pounding their meat over the actress that plays Homefront and the boys.
They're just like, oh, she's a white lady Nazi superhero.
Oh my god.
Oh, I can't wait.
Wait, oh, spoiler warnings for the boys, I guess.
What?
How dare you make irrelevant pop culture reference.
I know, right? I got to...
I gotta keep my shit from 20 years ago.
Boy, when you find out what happens at the end of Jurassic World, you're gonna lose your mind!
So, anyhow, we're clean and swift, and we're about to fucking finish this shit up, and the Deep State's going down, which is exactly what happens in Q-Drop 23, where we win the game or something.
No MI has the same SAPs as NSA, CIA, etc.
as designated post 9-11.
Why is this relevant?
Who can be held hostage and controlled?
CIA thinks its foreign offshore assets are strong enough to defend against the US executive not accounting for military use on domestic soil.
Why does the Constitution explicitly grant this authority to the President and what is it to prevent?
They knew our agencies would grow in power so much so they could, can, hold the executive hostage or engage with bad actors.
Trump nominated someone new to direct every agency but one.
He controls the top.
I love the idea that George Washington knew the CIA would one day challenge the presidency for power.
George Washington knew immediately.
He's like, we're going to have foreign intelligence one day.
Foreign intelligence that will kill John F. Kennedy and usurp the executive branch's power.
And that's why he decided to regulate America's constitution the way he did.
I love the subtle audio level fixing that happened.
It was just the most subtle thing ever.
No, it wasn't subtle.
It was aggressively brutal.
This is the sort of indie spice that makes makes our podcast extra nice.
Like, you can listen to the last podcast on the left, or you can listen to my favorite murder,
or you can listen to my brother, my brother and me, those robberies, listen to them.
But what I really want to listen to is Adventures in Hellworld,
because sometimes those mofockers sound like they have no idea what they're doing.
And we don't!
And we don't!
Ugh, nail it.
But, yeah, I mean, just the idea that the Constitution was designed
to prevent the FBI from getting too big for its britches.
That didn't work.
I know.
A, it didn't work.
And B, I don't think Jimmy Madison was trying to figure out what a federal law enforcement bureau was going to be.
When they were busy deciding how the black people who didn't have any rights because they were goddamn slaves, if they would count towards the census so the white people who owned them could have more power in America?
I mean, these were not the concerns of the agrarian oligarchs who ran America and formed our Constitution.
You've never seen the Constitution.
You don't know what it says on there.
Oh, you're right.
It mentions the FBI and CIA by name.
You've never read that document.
No, I haven't.
I know that Nicolas Cage saved it.
This is true.
That is very important.
Okay, did he steal it?
He stole it.
And the Declaration of Independence.
Both of these things.
Oh, yeah, I guess it was the Declaration of Independence.
I haven't seen that movie in a hot minute.
I just like referencing it because it's really funny.
In fact, it's kind of embarrassing that I didn't know that because I summed up one of those GIFs for one of my catty Twitter posts the other day.
So you're right.
The Constitution and the Declaration of Independence are different.
You got me.
Yeah.
This Q-Drop is boring.
Yes.
Once again we're talking about Donald Trump being a power top.
That's pretty exciting.
He controls the top.
That's Donald Trump.
Wouldn't that make him a power bottom if he controls the top?
He determines when the top gets there.
I guess it depends.
I'd certainly much rather picture Donald Trump as some sort of bottom than some sort of top.
Yes.
He likes to get peed on, we know that.
Yes.
I don't want to picture him trying to fucking Mario Kart his mushroom into somebody's Yoshi Speedway or whatever.
I'm trying to think of a Mario Kart track name for a vagina.
Oh boy.
I think what it was called ChocoCannon for your backdoor fun-loving people.
Boomoo Meadows!
Done, we nailed it.
Oh man, we are so topical and witty.
Desperately.
God.
Once again, this Q-Drop is boring.
Yeah, this Q-Drop is boring, so instead we're talking about Mario Kart.
We're talking about Mario Kart.
Karty Mario Kart puns.
The horrible level changes I had to do that involved the boing noise and all the rest of the crap that happened here.
But yeah, this Q-Drop sucks because it's dumb and it's the kind of vague bullshit that Q loves to throw out there.
Oh my god, why is it relevant?
I love that.
The why is this relevant?
Like, I can only show you the shape of the maze, you need to navigate through it.
Bullshit.
Yeah.
Why can't you tell hostage and control?
Yeah, most of the Q drops are gibberish.
This is repeat-y gibberish and boring.
Yeah, this is Riddler Q once again just kind of flailing, as it were, and that's all he's got.
So now we get to the very bite-sized Q-Drop 24, which is brief but probably has a little more zip to it.
Any person making statements they will not be seeking re-election was put in submission.
For the betterment of the country, not all will be prosecuted and all will do as told.
You will see more of this occur.
Not normal, yet disregarded.
And even on the D-side.
What the fuck is Q talking about?
So is this like the pro-Q members of our government have put a muzzle on bad actors and they have decided that they will just bow out gracefully versus being prosecuted by Q's impossible punishment?
Basically, this is the people that any Republican who's like, I will not seek re-election, they were a part of the cabal and Q-Team went to them and said, look, don't try to run for re-election.
If you do, we're going to throw you in jail for forever for your satanic pedivore ways.
And we're just gonna let you walk because we got bigger fish to fry than you.
Even though literally the guy that QAnon likes to point out the most as being the person who took this deal was Paul Ryan, the Speaker of the House at the time that this Q drop is made.
So we're talking about the guy who was like third in line of succession to the presidency and that dude isn't a big enough fish for Q to like cuff and stuff and throw in jail for his treason against America.
I don't know who's bigger than the Speaker of the House, really, when it comes to political power, besides, like, maybe the head of the Senate or, like, Senators who've been around for a million years.
But that's, like, absolutely a top ten position of power in America.
It's literally in the line of succession.
Yeah, it's the third in the line of succession.
Like, uh, that was the big fear after John F. Kennedy got murdered, was that the Speaker of the House was like some 80-year-old dude, and he was just like, oh shit, if Lyndon Johnson catches a bullet, I'm the fucking president, and I don't want that shit.
So, I mean, like, this is like a real thing.
And Q's like, oh yeah, by the way, Paul Ryan, treason committing, genocidal monster.
We let him retire and collect his rich one percenter lifestyle for the good of America.
It's like, you know what would be good for America?
Arresting people who commit treason and putting them in jail for treason.
They're saving the big moves for when they had the dirt on Obama.
Like, you had no idea, but we have the laptop, we got the secret tapes, we have Obama dead to rights getting blown by Wendy Thomas, or the Wendy's.
And she's just giving up neck like a champion to Obama.
And Obama's a married man, so that is a game ender.
Yes!
And I found out, I just found out, I didn't know about this, they think Obama's married to a man.
You have not heard the legend of Big Mike?
Oh my god, I thought we had talked about this a million times.
We have not talked about this on the podcast.
I just found out about it like a week and a half ago.
Uh, via Dumb Q Twitter and... Yes, Small Mike.
We don't know about Big Mike.
Yeah, uh, yeah.
Big Mike is literally... Big Mike has trended on Twitter, like, twice in the past two months.
It just comes up on my Twitter feed.
Like, trending now, Big Mike.
And I'm just like, fuck you, Jack.
Fuck Twitter.
This is, like, the most ugly, transphobic, racist shit in the world.
and these assholes just can't help themselves with it and today one of these pieces of shit on my twitter feed was like oh yeah by the way the prime minister of New Zealand who is a woman is also a man and there's this video of her like walking down a hallway getting ready to give a speech or something And she has a clothing bunch in her groin area so she's totally a dude because there is this just weird subculture and it's not even just like QAnon based it's like alt-right incel just woman-hating like just brain-melted worldview stupidity that all women we hate are not really women they're men
And it's just like a part of like society that's like so sick and fucked up.
It's the weirdest misogyny I've ever seen.
It really is. It's just like, if you're a powerful woman that I hate, you can't actually be a woman.
It's really bizarre and it's really fucked up and I would love to know the psychosis behind it.
But it's, it's always there.
I mean like uh one of the guys in my on Twitter replied to me he was like well this is like the racist trope that black women aren't feminine and blah blah blah and I'm like the prime minister of New Zealand is white she's incredibly white and they're still calling her a man Because they just fucking have this need to just see a woman in power doing something they hate.
Because New Zealand was like, we're locking the whole fucking country down to get rid of COVID.
And they won.
Like, they've crushed COVID better than any country in the world.
And it's like, a woman in power who's successful that's doing things they don't like?
Dude.
Gotta be a dude.
100% a dude.
It's just a bunch of fucking white incels just being Furious about their own sexual insecurities and projecting outward, right?
Like, it's like, they, uh, they think these women in power emasculate them by having more power than them, so obviously they have to be a guy.
And, or, they don't think the people, uh, in question are attractive, and therefore they are useless as women to them, because incels, like, they deserve to fuck, and what they want to fuck is what's important.
So they're just like, Oh, Michelle Obama, I'm not attracted to her because she's black, so she's a man.
Or, like, I'm not attracted to this other Prime Minister because she's, like, a person of age, so she is a man.
Or, like, you know, like, we hate pedophiles so much because deep down, I'd really like to have sex with my 14-year-old neighbor, but oh my god, no!
That's the thing about like almost all of these people that are the ones running around with the sandwich boards like saying homosexuality is a sin you're gonna burn in hell they're always the ones caught fucking the pool boy they're always the ones that end up like just being repressed gays who feel I think everyone else is living in the same world they're living in where you have to fight off the naughty urges to sleep with the men when it's like, you know, you know what I have?
I just have a dumb heterosexual brain.
I think women are attractive.
I am not attracted to men.
It's never been a choice for me, which is why I know being gay isn't a choice for people who are gay.
I know their brains are wired that way.
Your brain is like a piece of hard, it's the, it's the hardware.
It's not software.
You can't make your brain go, no brain, no, make the woman bad, make the man good.
No, you can't do that, and you can't switch it either.
You can, but that's how you become a serial killer.
Yeah, also, I don't know what sort of childhood you have, but I fondly remember that day when El was a young nine-year-old lad, and woke up one day and decided, you know what?
Pussy it is for me.
That's what I want.
Nine-year-old El was just like, I've thought about it, I've scrutinized it, I've internalized it a lot until now.
Mom, Dad, I've thought about it, and cock is not for me.
I want that wet-ass pussy.
And my parents were just like, good job, son.
You've made You made the right choice.
You may further propagate the species.
And then they had you fill out the paperwork for your heterosexuality.
Oh yeah, I got the cards and everything.
They were just like, so you're heterosexual.
Do you want to be a filthy liberal or a red blooded American conservative?
And I was like, filthy liberal please.
When you're nine years old, you set yourself up for life.
It's like the character selection mode at the start of a game.
Do you want to be a warrior or a wizard?
Or a warlock or a wizard?
Do you want to be straight or gay?
You can't reset the file.
Those picks are in.
They're baked in.
Choose your genitalia.
Choose the genitalia you're interested in.
Yeah.
So what we're saying is this Q-Drop is also boring.
It's boring... We're just really punchy tonight, man.
It's close to election time.
Q is being boring.
Well, this is old Q. New Q might be more exciting.
No, new Q is just links to Fox News and screaming, Hunter Biden's laptop!
You won't believe it!
I mean, he's just... It's coming!
Just like everything!
It's all coming!
The most recent Q-Drop is a broken link.
I bet a lot of these people talk shit about Bernie Sanders and his inability to make good on any of the promises he was making.
It's just like, dawg, Q is the, like, don't worry, daddy's just stepping out for smokes, he'll be right back.
Like, lying is liar of all time.
Like I said on Twitter, Q followers are always edging, never reaching climax.
Yep, that's their lot in life.
That is their absolute pathetic existence.
Okay, well hopefully, I'm reading ahead slightly, hopefully Qdrop25 spices up Qdrop24 because it is apparently a direct follow-up.
Qdrop25, which as you and I all know, is the final Qdrop ever posted as we are about to read right now.
Follow up to last post.
Return to comments, Ree, Pelosi and John M. Some of us refused to say his last name for a reason.
This all has meaning.
Everything stated.
Big picture stuff.
Few positions allow for this direct knowledge.
Proof to begin 11-3.
We all sincerely appreciate the work you do.
Keep up the good fight.
The flow of information is vital.
God bless.
So Q just signed off.
It's over.
We're done here.
Yeah, we did it, boys.
We did it, Q. Q is finished.
His mission, his life's work was to get this information out.
He did it.
He banged it out.
Success.
Pop the cork.
The world's gonna be saved in two days, because this is November 1st.
The Brute's gonna be in November 3rd.
He's out of here.
Q drops the mic, and he's out the door.
Why is John McCain Voldemort?
Like, why are we not saying his last name?
Uh, because QAnon, uh, because McCain voted down the repeal of Obamacare and McCain was kind of the guy that Trump was bristly and prickly with and, um... It's because he's a prisoner of war and, uh, that means he's a loser and we don't talk about losers.
Yes.
So basically, uh, the whole Trump-McCain pissing contest made Q pick their side, which was Trump, obviously.
And then after all that shit, we got to the fact that Q decided to magnify his hatred of McCain to the point where at this point in the QAnon mythos, McCain is known as No-Name.
We don't speak his name.
We fucking hate him so much.
Really?
Yes, I'm not even joking.
Like child?
Child.
Petty and childish?
Yes, it's that petty and childish.
John McCain is known as No-Name.
It's so incredibly dumb.
So, what's really funny about this drop, and this happens a few times in the first 72 Q drops, is Q realizes he's hitting the deadline, and that it's not gonna go well for him.
That the deadline's gonna come and go, and nothing's gonna fucking happen, so he's trying to get out of town.
And I don't know if this is a fight between Riddler Q and Penguin Q or what's going on, but repeatedly Q tries to lay down the mantle of Q and flee the country in the dead of night to not have to be left holding the bag when November 3rd rolls around and the tanks don't roll through Washington D.C.
and the military doesn't arrest Obama and Hillary and everybody else.
But something happens where someone else in the crew is like, No bro, no!
Keep it going!
Keep edging them on!
Keep freaking them out!
And the guy's like, Okay, I'll keep writing this dumb shit.
It's gonna look really bad when this all blows up on our face in two days.
So, you can see this intra-squad dynamic between the egging them on cue and the, Guys, this is gonna go real fucking bad cue.
It's really weird.
Yeah, especially because, you know, and, like, this knowledge required me to gaze into the future of the Q-drop slightly, but Q-drop number 25, which we just got done with, is Q, it sounds like Q's sort of signing off, at least temporarily, at least maybe for the night, or maybe for a day, let all of his predictions come to pass, like, Q's not gonna be around for a little while.
Just like I'm kidding, QDOT 26 is seven minutes later.
He signs off for all of seven minutes before getting back on that pony.
He's just like, guys, we really appreciate what you do.
We're out.
Tito completo.
We're done here.
This is Q saying, God bless, and keep being an American patriot, and I'll talk to you later.
Seven minutes later, hey, it's your boy Q, and I'm back, and I'm here to do a little soft shrew for you, boss.
It's just like, what the fuck?
It's so schizophrenic.
It's so absolutely bizarre.
So I figure I will turbo 26 and 27 and that will finish our Q-drops for this episode.
Then we'll go to listener questions.
These are both very quick and very short.
Yeah, just run them back to back.
Let's get through it.
Yeah, just run them back to back and we will talk about them afterwards.
Give them to me.
I want them.
Think about it logically.
The only way is the military.
Fully controlled.
Save and spread.
Once 11-3 verifies as first marker.
Biggest advanced drop on poll.
And 27.
Wow, he is really doubling down on November.
Not everything can be publicly disclosed because so much ties back to foreign heads of state.
Much will be revealed.
We want transparency, but not at a cost we can't recover from.
What does that mean?
It means that if we expose the Queen of England as being a child-eating satanist, England would fall along with America and everything else.
We don't want to destroy all of the world's societies at once.
We want to convict a lot of the satanic pedivores, but not so many of them that we actually break civilization And humanity is back to hieroglyphics in the Stone Age.
It means that if you knew... Q's saying he has knowledge so damning that if he gave it all out right now, we would just be in Mad Max world tomorrow.
Yes.
Yeah, dude.
If you knew what Q knows, you'd be fucking dead.
You couldn't deal with it.
You couldn't handle it.
It would cause your tiny brain to fracture like an egg.
Your head would explode like scanners.
You would just start shaking a lot and you're just red salsa.
Your head just turns into a pile of goo.
Your neck would turn into a Takashi Miike style fountain of blood and viscera.
That'd be the end of you.
Think about it logically.
The only way is the military.
Fully controlled.
Save and spread.
Yeah, spread them.
I know that's not what he means, but it still sounds gross.
Can we talk about how gross the word spread is?
It's not great.
Other people are complaining about the word moist, or the word damp, or whatever.
Spread.
I mean, spread is, like, I've had a lot of good times spreading stuff, having stuff spread for me, but it's still a gross word.
It's not a great word.
Hugh uses an ampersand there for no reason.
He just had to bust.
He couldn't write in.
He was like, you know what?
I'm going ampersand on this one, motherfucker.
I'm going hard.
This is another one of his cryptic riddles.
Secretly, Save and Spread is the name of a convenience store somewhere in the Midwest, which is going to be where the next Pizza Gate is going to happen.
Absolutely.
We're going to find the Adrenocrine Facility hidden techfully under the Savings Spread in Omaha, Nebraska.
And that's going to be when the lid blows.
That's what happens on November 3rd.
Yes.
My money's from Boise, Idaho.
On November 3rd, Patriots burn the Savings Spread to the ground.
And then I hope they go after the Come & Go, because that is kind of pornographic in the nature.
So, Save & Spread, the fake name of a convenience store that I just made up.
More or less displeasing to the ear than Come & Go.
I feel dirty.
at Hellworld, Twitter poll of the week.
Yes, exactly.
I feel dirty.
I feel more dirty than I have talking about pedophilia for like two months.
You the listener have all the power.
You can determine.
Hashtag our Twitter account.
Are you half-tags Save and Spread or half-tag Come and Go?
Make your voices heard.
I don't like this game you've started.
This game is great.
This is called Community Engagement Sarge.
Oh man.
Now what's really hilarious is this is all painfully obvious that Q is talking about November 3rd and there's no two ways about this.
That this is obviously November 3rd is what 11-3 is.
The pieces of shit that promote QAnon have followed this very logical, very coherent,
obvious thing to the modern day. Durham, their big hero who was going to arrest Hillary and Obama for
all their crimes, he got some guy to plead guilty to one charge of falsifying information on a warrant.
And that guy's name was Kevin Kleinsman.
His first letter is K. His last name's first letter is C. That is 11-3.
So Kevin Kleinsman, who got arrested two and a half years after the skew drop, was the actual marker to signify the downfall of the cabal.
And, uh, by the way, nothing else has happened.
Fuck every one of these idiots.
They're just... The retconning and the fitting in of bullshit to things that were already explicitly stated is so incredible with these people.
It's breathtaking.
Their dishonesty is the stuff of legend.
They're the best.
They're the absolute fucking best about this shit.
Like I said, their whole fucking thing is just exactly that movie, National Treasure, which we're bringing up on the podcast now, for the second time.
Because it is so very cute.
When their shit doesn't come to pass, they're just like, Well, 11 and 3 are like hands on a clock, and if you stand at Stonehenge, the 11 points at this constellation, and the 3 points at this constellation, and when you take the myths about those constellations together, and apply it to the Declaration of Independence, and Ben Franklin's secret sex bathhouse, you'll get the cipher you need for the locker at LaGuardia, which has the Wiener laptop in it, and boom, then it's gonna pop off.
Wait, give me your water bottle, I need to look at the $5 bill.
Yeah, we need to go get Ben Franklin's secret bifocals so that we can decipher the hidden secret invisible ink clues left on this napkin that Elvis Presley used back in the 50s and it's going to break this whole thing wide open.
To any rational person, you're just like, wow, all of the hoops that you're jumping through sound completely fucking crazy.
Almost crazy enough to make a wacky movie about.
But to Q supporters, that shit sounds just like the truth.
It's just like, I know the truth when I hear it, and the truth is gibberish.
Yes.
So, we did get a deluge of listener questions, as it were.
Oh shit, a veritable deluge.
Yes, a cornucopia of questions.
You know, I would like to apologize on behalf of Q for the Q-Draws we went over this week being so fucking boring.
Like, this is what I'm saying, when we first started this and I was talking about it being a boring rollercoaster, man, like every once in a while, it's peaks and valleys, but they're mostly valleys.
This is a poorly engineered rollercoaster.
Right now we're winching our way up to a glorious drop at some point in the foreseeable future, but right now you're just hearing the gears grinding on this ancient rollercoaster and you're hoping we're going to make it up the hills.
Right now it seems like the opposite.
Ever wonder why I cheer for every time Satan shows up?
Yes!
Right now it's like the awkward part on that roller coaster.
Like if you've ever been on one, like sometimes they have like the awkward moments where you're like on ground level and you're going slow from like one thing to another.
But it's awkward because there's that fence there separating you from the other animals, I mean patrons, at the amusement park.
And they're just sort of gawking at you as you're on your ride and you're like looking over and it's a little uncomfortable.
That's the part of the ride we're on now.
The shitty part of the ride.
So listeners, the power's in your hands.
Your questions need to bring us on home and continue to make this podcast sort of listenable.
Otherwise we're just going to be talking about National Treasure a lot.
Yeah, otherwise we'll keep talking about National Treasure.
treasure and other older references. So uh everything is awful which is an incredibly apt name for both
the the current state of QDROPS and where we are as Americans right now says and where we are in
our podcast right now yep all these things my question why do you insist on being so wrong
about the Beastie Boys? Oh so this one's directed at me uh I'm not wrong, man.
Look, you can love the Beastie Boys all you want, I'm not the stuff you like police.
I'm just saying, my personal opinion about the Beastie Boys, which also happens to be correct because I'm a genius, is that their beats are great, but their rhymes are whack.
It's sort of like beat poetry.
You can always say stuff in a certain way to make you sound like...
You're doing some beat poetry and making it sound like you have more behind your words than you really do.
With the human voice like that, right?
And cadence.
Cadence, timbre, like meter, and all that shit.
Like, you know, that's just like English 101 shit, right?
Well, the Beastie Boys, like, all their raps sound like this.
Because they were from the 80s.
This shit sounds really whack.
And if you like it, you might also be whack.
Because that is the Beastie Boys, dawg.
That was just like a perfect Beastie Boys song.
You throw that shit over some sick beats, and that was a platinum record back in like 1988.
Because it was the stupid ages.
Nobody knew what they were doing.
Like, now is the year of our lord 2020.
Almost 2021.
And we can appreciate the Beastie Boys as being an important milestone in rap history without continuing to pretend like their rhymes were sick.
They weren't.
They did it like this.
They did it like that.
They did it with a wiffle ball bat.
Fucking poetry!
Oh my god!
Oh!
They did it with a wiffle ball bat!
Ah, I see.
What are your feelings on Brass Monkey?
Oh, oh, that funky monkey?
Oh man, wow.
You see, I talked all this shit about the Beastie Boys, but I forgot about all of their incredible songs where their lyricism was on full display.
I mean, maybe there are Beastie Boys deep cuts I never heard about because all of their singles sounded fucking corny as shit, so I just avoided the Beastie Boys for a long time.
So if you have a deep cut that you think will prove me wrong, you can just be like, yo, the Beastie Boys had chops, even back in the day.
They're like, break it off for me.
But I wouldn't be surprised if somebody showed up with a Beastie Boys deep cut and they were just like, They were great!
And they fuckin' post a song off of like the Intergalactic album or whatever.
Where it's just like, oh yeah, the Beastie Boys became incredible rappers after doing it for 20 years?
What a shocker!
I'm just saying, binge the Beastie Boys, the Beastie Boys everybody loves, like Paul's Boutique and all that shit.
Those raps is corny, dawg.
I have never been hardcore on the Beastie Boys or anywhere.
The only thing I'll remember is engaging a Beastie Boys fan back in the day and them being indignant at me that the Beastie Boys were not rappers.
They were adamant about this point.
They were like, they're not rappers!
And I was like, they're not rapping?
And he was like, no, they're not rapping.
And I couldn't get... I don't know if he was saying they were spoken word poetry.
I don't know what his argument was.
But his argument was that the Beastie Boys are not rap.
Which blew my mind and the conversation could not continue in any logical way.
Because I had no answer to that.
I couldn't even react to it.
Because I have always known them as a rap group and I remember hearing stories about how on the bills for their shows they would not show themselves because they were white rappers at that time and that was kind of unacceptable to be a white group that was rapping.
So... I mean, they certainly broke down barriers.
I mean, they were largely responsible for, like, the fusion of rap and rock, that eventually turned into, like, what we know as modern day, like, rap beats, and also, in its own way, contributed to the birth of rap rock, which for, in turn, new metal, which for better or worse, like, All this stuff has, like, roots that you can trace the genealogy of to the Beastie Boys.
I'm not saying they weren't important.
I'm just saying that, like, compared to a lot of other rappers, even rappers that were sort of like their contemporaries, they were kind of corny.
And, like, they got where they got because, like, you know, at the time, They had a gimmick.
They were white boys that were rapping about white boy shit.
Like having house parties.
White people house parties.
Where they did it with a wiffle ball bat.
And, like, they were drinking that Funky Monkey or whatever.
And you had to fight for it right at the party.
Didn't they rap about macaroni and cheese?
Did you say they had a rap about macaroni and cheese?
Yeah.
Oh, I mean, I wouldn't be surprised.
I don't know what you're referencing specifically, but yeah, sure, fuck it.
I'm pretty sure they did.
That sounds very Beastie Boys-y.
I'm just saying, listen to Aesop Rock and then try to tell me the Beastie Boys are good rappers.
Like, Aesop Rock is Lily White too, but that dude can spit.
He has his own problems, but the tongue-twisting nature of his rhyming is not one of them.
Thanks for the question.
Now that we've hammered the Beastie Boy question, which was very important.
Also, for what it's worth, this Beastie Boy thing is just an L thing.
It's not an Avengers of Hell world thing.
I don't think Sgt.
Mike has an opinion about the Beastie Boys either way.
I just happened to watch a documentary about their importance and I was just like, you know they are important, but they also kind of suck.
I've always thought that their raps were like very uh sort of like fit the scheme like very difficultly like there was I don't even remember the line before it was but there's a one on Intergalactic where like I'll stir fry you in my wok and it's so clunky and so just working its way to make the timing work that it's just like you can just tell that they're about the beat they're about the funky voice.
The beat is sick!
Even the beat of that song is incredible.
The sampling is great like Yeah, their beats are on point, the rapping is pedestrian.
The rapping is in service to the beat, it really is.
So, Chris Palmiro, I'm very sorry I'm butchering your name and I'm terrible at names.
Says, a blue check posted about Q today and said it's ridiculous for New York Times to frame them as going after both R's and D's.
I was frustrated with the many disagreeing comments while they go after McCain and Rhinos.
If you could address whether this idea that they truly target R's is legit.
To me, they're saying if someone isn't R enough that means they themselves are operating in an R framework.
Yes, it is absolute bullshit that Q attacks R's and D's.
The New York Times has posted that headline and I wanted to put my fist through a wall because it's bullshit.
The only R's that get attacked by QAnon are people that are insufficiently loyal to Trump.
It's all bootlicking all the time.
That's all they want from Republicans.
Before the 2018 midterms, there was a Q drop that was literally just an American flag with the words above it and below it saying, Save America, Vote Republican.
So when the chips are down, when Q has to give a shit about something, he wants you to vote Republican and he is adamant for you to do so.
He's not subtle about this.
Q is all about electing Republicans to office and then he'll piss and moan if they don't suck Trump's dick hard enough.
But that's it.
Like, uh, he wants you in office with an R next to your name and then he will see your loyalty to Trump and judge you on that.
So, uh, yes.
The New York Times... I don't have anything to add to that.
Yeah, the New York Times and that article made me just want to fucking, like, punch bricks.
I mean, we've been reading through the Q drops, and it's pretty obvious so far that they are... that Q's, you know, headspace is not cut both ways.
Like, Q is not some sort of neutral party that just wants what's best for America, be it coming from a Democrat or a Republican.
Like, everything that Q is about, soup to nuts, is Republican playbook.
Chairman Walker's inquisitive question says, how y'all doing today?
Tried anything tasty lately?
And adds, this is not some sort of jab, I generally care about food.
Who doesn't care about food?
Anything especially tasty recently?
Well, I had a new Thai dish that I really liked.
Oh yeah?
Scintillating, what was it?
Let me look.
I don't remember the name.
Don't start something unless you got something.
I've been to a place recently that's had a little more access to Greek food.
I managed to have a little moussaka recently, which I'm a big fan of.
Not anything too crazy.
I've been eating a lot of fish recently.
Lots of, lots of healthier, uh, you know, salmon steaks, a little bit of rice for your grains, and then some fucking roasted up bell peppers.
That was, that was what was for dinner last night.
Uh, so nothing especially great, but, you know, that moussaka was good.
I haven't had some in a hot minute.
Yeah, I, uh, we, me and Al had a, uh, pregame, uh, meal at a joint, and they, I went there exclusively for breakfast food, because they have incredible breakfast food.
And when we got there, there was like, eat lunch, idiot!
I was like, ah, fuck!
So I got this mountainous burger that defeated me.
And I am a husky dude.
And people are like, oh man, big dude eating big food.
It's like, nope, nope.
Couldn't do it.
That giant burger defeated me quite handily.
It was fine.
It was a burger.
It wasn't anything to write home about.
I'm not going to be bouncing my grandkids on my knee talking about that burger.
But it was a thing that happened.
And it was recent.
So that's all I can say on that front.
Alright, we vamped for you.
Sorry, did you find out the name of that dish?
It was Thai Singapore Noodles.
It's just something from my favorite Thai joint that I hadn't had before.
And it turned out to be very good.
Took a plier on it.
It worked out.
Oh, and a couple of weeks ago, I mean it's not that reason, but a couple of weeks ago a friend of mine was nice enough to make me a big heaping helping of kheer, aka payasam, which is like a sweet Indian rice pudding.
It's kind of thin.
It was delicious.
So, you know, if you ever get a chance and you just want something that you can eat cold or hot and it's just like a good, like, feel good, lightly sweetened treat, go ahead and make yourself some kheer.
Highly recommended.
Trunks is here, which is a reference that we haven't gotten to yet, but it does exist in our world, says, What's Trump's path to electoral college victory?
What counties does he have to flip in the swing states?
Are the swing states going to be active QAnon war zones after November 3rd?
Um, his path to electoral victory is by stealing the election.
He actually cannot win this thing on the, uh, merits.
He is hopelessly behind in all the polling, in all the battlegrounds and everywhere.
Fucking states that were, like, sure thing slam dunks for him last time around, like Arizona and North Carolina, he is losing in.
I think his, like, campaign has basically admitted that he can't win Arizona at this point.
Like, um, the only things that can possibly happen here are Biden wins or a civil war.
That's pretty much the way this is going to work.
Either Trump is going to aggressively try to steal this thing and the American people are going to eat shit and accept that or he's going to try to steal this thing and the American people are going to tell him to fuck off Or Biden's gonna win in a landslide and Trump's just gonna, like, pout like a baby in the White House and then flee to Mar-a-Lago and then flee to Russia to avoid being tried for his crimes.
So, like, there's really no political strategy here.
There's no, like, uh, brilliant maneuver he could do in order to try to, like, curry favor with some voters somewhere.
He's just a deeply unpopular idiot who's presided over a murder plague That has killed 200,000 Americans, and we're not about to, in the 11th hour, go, you know what?
Let's give him another try.
Maybe four more years of this and he'll turn it around.
He'll figure out this presidenting thing.
Maybe the first four months weren't so good, but the next four will be incredible.
Yeah, I mean, I think it's pretty safe to say that the only way Donald Trump can win this thing the second time is the way he won it the first time, which is through trickery and deceit.
And unlike QAnon out there banging the drum about the cabal and the pro-liberal trickery and deceit, Donald Trump's trickery and deceit has been proven, and the man has been impeached, and many of the people working under him have been fucking cuffed and stuffed in the way that QAnon keeps incising is going to happen to Democrats, but doesn't, because it turns out that while Democrats may not be perfect, They certainly seem to be convicted of a lot less egregious crimes than Republicans.
I mean, maybe that's just me, but it sure seems like whatever I hear about somebody who's got, like, secret, secret pedophile laptop, or, like, hard drives, or, like, secret money shuffling that defrauded a company or the country out of millions of dollars.
These sort of things are typically Republican things.
Yeah, I know based solely on early voting Trump is losing Texas, but for all that that means.
Right now on Predict It, you can get such an incredible value on Biden winning Texas.
It's like the ultimate value play.
Well I'm predicting right now I think like Trump's odds of winning are like 35 cents on the dollar so like you're literally winning 35 cents if you just bet on Trump to lose right now because it's just it's just ridiculous and I know everyone's got 2016 PTSD and all that kind of stuff but you know what I'm just gonna go with like the polls and every person who understands politics that I've been reading online on Twitter and everywhere else and all like yeah Biden's got this in the bag Unless we literally just have the military call off the election on November 3rd, and then we start turning into a war-torn hellscape.
So I really hope it won't be a war-torn hellscape, but if it is, then that's gonna be a fun podcast on November 4th, when thankfully, being in Massachusetts, I won't be on the front lines of it.
So hopefully I won't be ducking mortar fire from MAGA incels trying to keep the god emperor in power.
Now permanently, because we've admitted we're no longer a republic,
and whoever has the most guns wins, and whoever can take the White House by force is actually
the champion of America.
Boy howdy, if you're in one of those southern or midwestern states,
keep your gun safe unlocked, your 7 to 8 firearms need to be readily available for when
Thunderdome tries to descend upon you.
Yes.
Just hope that Trump will be a big boy about this and just tap out when he loses.
But be prepared for Plan B, as it were, because who knows?
Who the fuck knows?
I need everyone to keep it together.
I don't have the body for Mad Max fashion.
Oh, neither do I. Nope, nope.
If the Apocalypse comes knocking, I'm going to roll over like such a submissive bitch to it and just probably eat a bullet or Yep.
Nope.
It's just going to be incredible.
Like my zombie apocalypse plan is to just kill myself because I do not have the cardio
for a zombie apocalypse.
Nope.
I do not have the amount of guns to survive in a Trump Civil War hellscape apocalypse.
Nope.
So.
Yep.
It's just like Trump declares martial law, military pouring through America.
It's like well, um, I'm just going to play Cyberpunk 2077 until I hear the knock on the
door.
Then I'm just going to grab the gun I've stolen or purchased from somewhere, just put it under
my chin and goodbye.
Go to oblivion.
I don't have the arm to throw a molotov, but I know how to make them.
So, you know, maybe that'll be my niche.
Maybe I'll live in a fucking basement bunker for the rest of my life just producing molotovs.
Yep.
Maybe just L. L's Incredible Molotovs.
No, dude, I'm putting the L back into molotov, baby.
Yes.
It seems like we covered a lot of bases today.
Yes.
We talked about a lot of pop culture references.
We talked somewhat about the QAnon phenomenon.
So I think it's time for us fucking fat old men to hit that dusty trail.
So Mike, lead us out.
Okay, everyone again, patreon.com slash pokerpolitics, love146.org for donations.
Our word of mouth is much appreciated.
Donate to any Democrats you possibly can to help us win this election and save the world.
And I've said my piece, so time to get out of here.
Alright, well I guess we're just going to roll out.
So once again everybody, thank you for listening.
This is El.
I'm going to be signing off today for Mr. Mike Rains and for Sarge.
And just like always, we're going to count down and then we're going to do our totally organic leaving the podcast catchphrase.
So counting down from the top, 3, 2, 1, Good Speed Patriots!
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