Health update about my mom, health update on Trump, hatred of the electoral college, and we finally name the two different Q's we think are writing QDrops, plus your questions. Get bonus content on PatreonSupport this show http://supporter.acast.com/hellwqrld. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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| Hello everyone, Poker and Politics here with another episode of Adventures in Hellworld. | |
| I am joined as always by Sarge. | |
| Hello! | |
| And by the mysterious El, who is still looking for Kira. | |
| What's good there, Internet world? | |
| Yes, so today's episode, as always, being with my little shoutouts for myself and the pod and all that. | |
| If you like what we're doing, you want to help us out, word of mouth, all that good stuff, you can go to our Patreon at patreon.com slash pokerpolitics. | |
| And if the three of us Jamoaks are not worthy of your cold hard cash, you can go to love146.org, who are actually doing anti-human trafficking work, which is what QAnon claims to be doing. | |
| But if you talk to any expert in that field, they're like, no, actually Q is a net negative for us. | |
| They are hurting our fight against human trafficking with their dumb bullshit. | |
| So if you actually want to do good work, you can do that. | |
| And Beyond that, donate to any Democrat you can find in any race you care about, because that shit's kind of important. | |
| Get out there and vote blue, you idiots. | |
| But not third party. | |
| Not third party, yes. | |
| And if you're in Massachusetts, vote yes on two for ranked choice voting, so then you can do third party voting in the foreseeable future without destroying America. | |
| Because not destroying America is a good thing. | |
| Oh yeah, ranked choice voting is obviously a good idea, because it really lets the Electoral College know exactly who they should choose to vote for, even though they could always just eat that $500 fine and vote for whoever the fuck they want. | |
| The Electoral College is stupid and bad, and we should all hate it. | |
| Any American that enjoys democracy should be furious that the Electoral College is still a thing. | |
| Unless you're in Wyoming, and then your 30,000 people get a wildly unbalanced amount of power. | |
| Right, exactly. | |
| Our three electoral votes... | |
| Yeah oh yeah all the all the three electoral vote states are just like so much more powerful than California for proportionately for no good reason like it is like just stupid and literally the electoral college was made because the founding fathers were scared that the slave owning southern states wouldn't get to have their votes matter for who would be president if we did this by like actual population So they came up with this cockamamie compromise to make the slave states happy and then 80 years later Abraham Lincoln high-stepped into the end zone of the White House with no slave state votes and we had a fucking civil war over it so way to put a band-aid on that bullet wound founding fathers you morons! | |
| And now conservatives want to keep it around because it turns out that in all the places where people actually want to live and get exposed to different cultures, they skew blue! | |
| Who the fuck knew? | |
| So weird! | |
| So weird that the states that are like literally just hell holes of racism and just general bigotry, that's where slavery was prevalent mostly. | |
| Or you're just incredibly rural and don't want to know what humanity is like outside of your Fox News QAnon bubble. | |
| Hey, you're not giving all the other states enough credit. | |
| Racism's everywhere. | |
| It is, but most of the other states are able to outvote the racists, which is the difference. | |
| That is true. | |
| I mean, Massachusetts, for example, is incredibly blue and also pretty fucking racist. | |
| Oh, yes. | |
| Yes. | |
| We just put them all in the police force. | |
| Yep, it's a good move. | |
| You just put all the racists in positions of power and everything goes smoothly. | |
| There's never any problems that have had consequences that America has been dealing with ever since it was basically founded. | |
| None of that. | |
| Just smooth sailing the whole way. | |
| Always good to start a show with a nice rant about the electoral college. | |
| Yes, oh, you get me started about Jimmy Madison and all the fuck-ups he made when he started this country. | |
| I will not stop. | |
| But, uh, moving us away from that, uh, the further updates and adventures of my mom's health, which has been a thing that's been a problem in my life, and I've been talking about it online because I just bitch about everything openly and publicly. | |
| Uh it turns out that all the different specialists that my mom saw for like running on over a year who told her no it's not your gallbladder were totally wrong and it was her gallbladder and when they were like well you know what gallbladder surgery easy peasy lemon squeezy we'll bang this out in like 15 minutes or whatever they went to do an arthroscopic surgery of it and then they found out oh wait no this is the most inflamed ruined gallbladder in the history of the world and they had to slice my mom open like a turkey and pull that time bomb of a gallbladder out of her | |
| And, uh, yeah, when the nurse called me, they were like, yeah, her gallbladder was unbelievably bad. | |
| And I was like, ooh, that sounds wonderful. | |
| So, uh, yeah, they got this, like, literally, like, dying organ out of my mom's body, and, uh, she is now, like, up and about in her hospital room, walking the corridors of the hospital, as it were, for exercise, complaining about hospital food, complaining about the furniture in her room. | |
| She is in good spirits, as it were. | |
| So, uh, You're just running down the whole, like, 90s era Seinfeld list of observational humor about hospitals. | |
| Yes, exactly. | |
| My mom with her very edgy 90s humor. | |
| What's the deal with airplane food? | |
| She hasn't quite gone that level yet, but she was close. | |
| Yeah, just what's the deal with hospital food? | |
| What's the deal with hospital furniture? | |
| Tell her to get caught up. | |
| She needs to joke about how she's lucky to be able to afford a hospital. | |
| Oh yes, absolutely. | |
| That's the joke now. | |
| Yes, yes, exactly. | |
| And if she really wants to be successful, she needs to trap female comedians in her room and masturbate in front of them. | |
| them. Yes, and then just come back a few years later unapologetic and just be | |
| accepted by certain segments of the crowd because hey. I guess this is like a | |
| weird place to put this in terms of the formatting of a show but I had mentioned | |
| wanting to do it after we recorded last week so I guess I'll do it here. For | |
| anybody who's listening, content warning about our show. | |
| Not necessarily just because we're going to use colorful language, because we certainly are, but specifically because, unfortunately, you just straight up cannot talk about QAnon without talking about certain subjects, like... | |
| Uh, child endangerment, sex slavery, like, things of that nature. | |
| So, content warning for all that shit. | |
| If you're listening and you're just like, I don't wanna hear these guys talk about child sex slavery anymore. | |
| Well, the problem is, that's Q's whole deal. | |
| So, since we talk about Q, we're gonna have to talk about that. | |
| Uh, we're all obviously against that shit, but it will get brought up. | |
| So, here's your content warning. | |
| Jack out now if you're not interested. | |
| Yes, that is something I'm going to have to talk to the voice of Q about putting that in here for us so we can bang that out with him. | |
| Warning at the top, we talk about real stuff. | |
| Yeah, we're going to talk about awful issues that are bad and we also might segue into Electoral College and just be really fucking angry about it. | |
| So, like, if you love Electoral College or don't want to hear about child trafficking, this is not the podcast for you. | |
| I thought you said Troll College for a second. | |
| Yeah, I was like, who the fuck graduated from Troll College? | |
| Yeah, that's just me being unprofessional and being unable to speak. | |
| So yeah. | |
| That's unfortunate, because if there was such a college that I could graduate from, that seems like an ideal career path for me. | |
| Because I'm already on Twitter dunking on cutie. | |
| It's as best I can. | |
| Just dye your hair bright red, put it way straight up, put a gym in your belly. | |
| Oh, you're talking about... I don't know, I was like, what the fuck am I, Wayne Static? | |
| What's going on? | |
| Just going hard for the Troll Dolls, that was good, I like that. | |
| Wow, what a series of references we just made. | |
| You referenced Troll Dolls, and then I referenced Static X. Don't worry, no one's ever gonna know what generation we're part of. | |
| Not at all, not in the slightest. | |
| Sergeant Al are clearly in their early 60s. | |
| What the hell's a Pokemon? | |
| Alright, well, just fondling my tube full of pogs. | |
| Yeah, oh god. | |
| The two of you get into a really angry conversation about baseball and what's happened to your beloved national pastime. | |
| Just really make sure we're clear how ancient and fossilized you are. | |
| It'd be so good. | |
| Yeah, I mean, it was never the same after The Colored started to play. | |
| Yes! | |
| Asterix, no, that is not a racist joke. | |
| That is a joke about racism. | |
| Please, do not yell at me. | |
| We're nine minutes in and I've already had to give a content warning and a personal content warning and I mean I guess that's good news because certainly nothing newsworthy happened this week. | |
| No, literally nothing at all that we could possibly be talking about in our beloved segment called Q's in the News with a new intro. | |
| Ooh, hit us. | |
| Come on. | |
| What's everyone's favorite death cult been up to this past week? | |
| It's time for Q's in the News. | |
| So, uh, the God Emperor himself has come down with, uh, the hoax, the thing caused by 5G, uh, whatever it is that QAnon calls, uh, COVID-19. | |
| Chinavirus. | |
| Yes, all of that, yes. | |
| Whatever racist epithet the God Emperor likes to use against COVID, that thing is now inside the President's lungs, although we can't know what it's done to his lungs due to HIPAA regulations, according to his doctor, who was literally telling us how many times he urinated, what his white blood cell count was, all these other things but then when a intrepid reporter | |
| was like yeah and his lungs because this is a respiratory illness | |
| and that's kind of important the doctor was like well he's in perfect health but I can't tell you | |
| about his lungs because that would be a HIPAA violation so his lungs... apparently Mr. Trump refused like did not | |
| waive his patient his doctor patient confidentiality which would be a weird | |
| thing if all the news was good right | |
| Like, sort of in the same way he can't reveal his taxes because he's under permanent audit by the IRS. | |
| No, he is not. | |
| And also, no, that doesn't matter. | |
| He just, he can't reveal that information. | |
| There's no possible way that Donald Trump could allow his doctors to say what the deal is with his health. | |
| So, now, we're calling this Q's in the News, but, uh, Mike, hit me, what does Q have to say about Trump going to Walter Reed and testing positive for COVID? | |
| Q, as always, the super secret spy with the top secret information we need to fight the Deep State, to defeat the Cabal, and to save humanity from these Satanists, has said fucking nothing about any of this. | |
| Q's last post was on October 1st, and then Q was like, you know what I'm gonna do? | |
| It's sleepy times! | |
| And Q just Vanished! | |
| Just, I don't know, just took a vacation to somewhere safe and secure and has not said word one about the president contracting COVID, being hospitalized for COVID, returning to the White House and doing propaganda videos while aggressively breathing hard and being winded for walking up a flight of steps. | |
| Yeah, and getting an experimental steroid pumped in him, a side effect of which is delusions of grandeur. | |
| That's good. | |
| That's excellent. | |
| I really can't wait until tomorrow night's vice presidential debate when Kamala Harris and Mike Pence are asked the softball, are you ready to step in should something happen to the old dude you are being the vice president for? | |
| I want Kamala Harris to say, uh, your guy is literally on all the drugs in the world and nobody in the leadership of your party or the cabinet or anywhere has said, yo, Mike, you need to step in now. | |
| This is your time, dawg. | |
| Get in there, boy. | |
| This is what we need you for. | |
| This is what the vice presidency is all about. | |
| They're just telling Mike Pence to just sit in the corner of a fidget spinner. | |
| And if CNN ever comes up with the news Trump is on death's door, then maybe, just maybe, they might think about, you know, using the 25th Amendment or anything to actually let someone run the country other than a bedridden husk of a person who is now, like, just pumped full of drugs in a desperate attempt to sustain them. | |
| Well, the engineers that keep Mike Pence's body operating just haven't had the time to program him to be the president yet. | |
| They haven't dealt- I mean, everything just happens so fast. | |
| I'm not the only person who looks at that guy and thinks that he's, like, a life-model decoy cyborg, right? | |
| I think he's, like, one of the robots from Men in Black with a little, tiny, scared-er white man inside. | |
| I mean, but couldn't the same thing be said of all conservatives? | |
| There's an even smaller, more racist on the inside. | |
| They're just like human Russian nesting dolls where it's just like, you just peel away layer after layer like the world's worst fucking onion, just getting to smaller, weaker, more afraid white men. | |
| All I'm imagining is the Ren and Stimpy episode where we just have hideously evil Ren. | |
| It's evil Ben Shapiro and hideously evil Ben Shapiro that just keep dividing as time goes along. | |
| And you just have these worse and worse human beings each step of the way from Ben Shapiro The human Sahara. | |
| Yes, the human Sahara. | |
| The man who literally, the man who fears WAP but literally was jerking off to the idea of Donald Trump's blood saving humanity yesterday. | |
| That we're gonna find the antibodies from COVID inside the blood of a 74 year old man who is just, again, cranked full of drugs that are literally given only to people who have severe cases of COVID. | |
| Now, is he not allowed to have adrenochrome? | |
| Is that forbidden to him? | |
| Is he not allowed to have adrenochrome? Is that forbidden to him? | |
| Uh, yes. That would be, oh, that'd be so great if QAnon actually went down that dark path | |
| and was like, he's getting the good adrenochrome, the ethically sourced adrenochrome from young | |
| children who like scary movies. | |
| For proud young conservatives who are willingly giving their blood to God, Emperor Trump. | |
| And Trump would truly become the God Emperor at that point. | |
| I just want him to fuckin' come out to the next debate with like an actual just human blood bag attached to him like fuckin' Mad Max. | |
| Just a child on a metal pole just feeding him blood. | |
| Fuckin' a shirtless guy on an even bigger pole behind him just shredding on a guitar flamethrower. | |
| Just to be like, oh man, Donald Trump defeated COVID because he's a fuckin' alpha male Chad. | |
| Paul Joseph Watson said that! | |
| Oh my god! | |
| These people are so predictable and pitiful. | |
| Just their ridiculous, heliographic worship of this old, fat, dumb man who doesn't know his ass from his elbow, who literally- Do not become addicted to the COVID, for then when it's gone, you will crave it. | |
| Yeah. | |
| So what does the Grifter High Priest class have to say about Our God Emperor being ensconced on the golden throne of COVID. | |
| Originally, the first moment it happened, they thought it was the storm as it were. | |
| They thought that this was the moment when all the arrests are complete. | |
| I remember seeing that. | |
| They were just like, Trump has COVID. | |
| That's impossible. | |
| He's secretly in his bunker because now the Marines, which again, Donald Trump can just point the Marines at whoever he wants because his power is unlimited. | |
| We're finally going to start rounding up Hillary and Obama. | |
| Don't know Tom Hanks. Whatever else they hate for being liberal. Yeah. Oh, yeah all of those people | |
| So like yeah, so it started off with the storm and then it segued into | |
| Although some people are still on the storm Like I saw this guy QT ah who I guess is from Utah and just | |
| thought that was incredibly pity He was just like Trump made it back to the White House | |
| And now he's gonna declassify the documents that will allow us to arrest Hillary | |
| Which you know if I was about to be hospitalized for kovat and didn't know if I was gonna make it or not | |
| I might be like hey, uh Declassify those documents before I go to Walter Reed | |
| Uh, don't, uh, let that thing maybe not get revealed to the American people, uh, in case I happen to die, uh, before that, that word gets out. | |
| Uh, like, um, spoiler alert for people who didn't watch Game of Thrones 1 million years ago. | |
| I turned the bass ringer off! | |
| You've got to be fucking kidding me with that shit, Mike. | |
| I know! | |
| I, I, I literally turned it off and now I don't know how it rang. | |
| I'm, I'm curious. | |
| But, uh, anyways. | |
| Like, this is like Ned Stark being like, I'll let Robert Baratheon go on that boar hunting trip before I let him know about the actual legitimacy of his children. | |
| I won't get into his face about it. | |
| So, yeah. | |
| Good job, Ned. | |
| Good job, all of that. | |
| So, uh... So, like, all these, like, Trump doesn't have COVID, the storm is coming, it's Trump time. | |
| So, do those people just think that all of the people in Trump's orbit that were getting COVID were just, like, secretly being activated for the storm? | |
| Uh, yes! | |
| I'm joking, I saw one guy literally was, like, I was on the fence before Bill Barr self-quarantined, but now it's the storm. | |
| Now that Bill Barr has gone into lockdown, I know it's really reals. | |
| That was a pretty short fucking storm. | |
| More of a squall, really, because Donald Trump is back in the White House tearing his mask off in defiance of sanity and reason. | |
| He's just like, I don't need this mask anymore. | |
| And it's just like, buddy, the mask isn't really for you. | |
| It's for all the people you've infected with COVID and it's pretty obvious that you did need it because it was like 11 of them came to, you know, his valet tested positive just today. | |
| Yeah. | |
| Active duty military. | |
| Yeah. | |
| The guy who carries the nuclear football for Trump just tested positive. | |
| So that's good. | |
| We don't want that guy getting sick or anything. | |
| Yeah. | |
| So yeah. | |
| So they had like all of that nonsense and then, Once it was clear to most of them that the arrest isn't going to be happening, they moved to phase two, which was Trump caught COVID, to beat COVID, to show all of us that COVID's no great shakes, and we should all just spit in each other's mouths until we all get it, and then we'll all be immune from it, and we can all get past it. | |
| Is that their playbook? | |
| Every time anything happens to Trump or anything happens, they're like, well, this is a storm. | |
| Storm's not happening. | |
| It was a double secret pre-storm maneuver. | |
| Yeah, I mean, that's obviously their playbook because they're all idiots. | |
| I know there are some people listening who are just like, man, Elle is really hard on conservatives, and it's just like, yeah, I'm hard on conservatives because they suck and they're poisonous and, like, the world would be better without them, so, if you don't like my angry liberalism, fuck off. | |
| That's right, baby, I'm here to tell others to fuck off, I don't give a shit. | |
| You're Joe Biden telling people not to vote for you if you don't like what he's saying. | |
| I'm riding with Biden. | |
| I don't like the guy more than, you know, a ton of other candidates, but he's the guy we got and we're voting for him and I'm happy to do it. | |
| That's the point. | |
| Right, exactly. | |
| Don't get on there talking about the shit sandwich. | |
| Just eat the sandwich and then later we can all appreciate that the sandwich is less shitty than it was before. | |
| Absolutely, but uh so then the big problem right now is and I have I heard Alex Jones saying this a little bit but the rank-and-file big QAnon people are not quite getting to like phase three which is that this was an attempted assassination of Trump. | |
| I mean the rank-and-file dipshits I was kind of surprised that that narrative didn't start up like much earlier. | |
| I assumed that that was going to be one of the first things they busted out. | |
| It was just like, oh no! | |
| The libs infected our glorious leader with the China flu! | |
| Yeah, that's the easiest story to write. | |
| Right. | |
| Oh yeah, I mean that was what was supposed to happen, I thought, but it didn't for some reason. | |
| And I really feel like The main reason why they didn't do that is because that is a bell you can't unring. | |
| When you start telling people that Trump got poisoned by the cabal that that leads to some dumb shit like That leads to what was the end of Pizzagate, which was some dumb idiot shooting up the pizza joint trying to save the children. | |
| So like if you tell people that this was an attempted assassination on Trump, someone's gonna like run up to Nancy Pelosi's office and like fire a few rounds In the general vicinity of, like, her work staff or her secretary in San Francisco. | |
| And the next thing you know, everyone in QAnon's like, we didn't condone that! | |
| We never said anything about that! | |
| That guy was, like, a MKUltra sleeper agent activated by George Soros to make us look bad. | |
| We don't know what you're talking about. | |
| Yeah, or just some, like, COVID-tested and confirmed, like, conservative hero would just run up and try to lick our eyeballs. | |
| Oh yeah, oh yeah, exactly. | |
| Some crazy thing like that. | |
| You try to kill Trump, we try to kill you. | |
| China flu! | |
| It's like, it's called COVID. | |
| Stop being racist. | |
| You're an idiot. | |
| He got it because he's an idiot. | |
| You're all idiots. | |
| That is the one thing that made me really happy was they did like polling on this whole thing and it was like 75% of America think that Trump got it because he was a moron. | |
| And it was like, thank God! | |
| Yeah, but then like 55% of people, you know, the people that support Trump, they just don't care. | |
| He got it because he was an idiot, but who gives a shit? | |
| It's just like, well, there we go. | |
| That is your political ideology in a nutshell. | |
| Yeah, we ignored the science, and it ended up biting us in the ass, but who cares? | |
| I forgot my guns in my Bible, right? | |
| Okay, cool. | |
| Then we're good. | |
| Bill Nye can't tell me what to do? | |
| Yeah, I just love the fucking, like, Donald Trump catching COVID-19 was, like, the fucking Predator handshake meme intersection of fucking science and karma. | |
| Like, I've been seeing a lot of people getting mileage out of that one. | |
| Just, Dylan, you son of a bitch! | |
| Bam! | |
| And then Giles theme plays, and Donald Trump dies of COVID, hopefully. | |
| Oh, man. | |
| I have to imagine that Q is astonishingly silent on all of this because he has to wait to see how it shakes out. | |
| Otherwise, his inability to get anything correct just becomes wildly transparent, right? | |
| I mean, because if Donald Trump gets COVID on the first day, he's just like, Donald Trump doesn't really have COVID. | |
| The storm is coming. | |
| It's bunker time. | |
| And then four days later, Trump's lungs fill up with fluid and he dies. | |
| It's like, oh, shit. | |
| I got it wrong because, of course, I did. | |
| This way, he just gets to wait until two weeks out. | |
| Donald Trump's fleet of fucking hospital personnel, his syringes full of experimental drug cocktails, his six-room | |
| medical suite, and now the White House where he's recovering. | |
| He gets the benefit of all that stuff, and if he does recover, then Q can come out and say whatever the fuck he | |
| wants, and the people are just gonna eat it up. | |
| Oh, yeah. | |
| I mean, I just feel like he's so covered, even if he does get it wrong. | |
| He's just like, well, Satan, they used the power of Satan and baby blood and killed our glorious president. | |
| Yeah, I mean, you know, Donald Trump will never really go away. | |
| They'll just download his brain patterns and install them into PenceBot, and then they'll swear in PenceBot, and he'll just start talking about things being huge, and China, and wanting to have sex with his own daughter, and, like, suddenly being totally cool with being in rooms with women, especially women that aren't his wife. | |
| Extra alone. | |
| Oh, sexy alone time. | |
| Can I get double alone with these women? | |
| Vice President Mike Pence is the definition of negative charisma. | |
| That's like the thing that makes me laugh so much when people are like, but if Trump dies, they'll get Pence. | |
| And it's like, yeah, have you ever heard that man talk? | |
| Like literally every, like any claim about Joe Biden being quote unquote sleepy, Mike Pence is that times a million. | |
| He is, he was like a literal nobody who was about to lose the governorship of Indiana as a Republican in that blood red racist state. | |
| And then Paul Manafort managed to twist Trump's arm into picking Pence for Vice President because Trump wanted to pick Christie, which right now would have been incredible that we would have had the Vice President and President both hospitalized for COVID at the same time if Christie was Vice President now. | |
| God, the stock market would Speaking of the sleepy Joe narrative, personally, I have to bring up that I think it's pretty funny that Donald Trump kept insisting that Joe Biden was on steroids or whatever just to keep him awake for the debate, to prep him. | |
| The verbal roughhousing that Trump was about to lay down on him, and conservatives are just like, yeah, he is on drugs. | |
| And then meanwhile, Donald Trump gets diagnosed with COVID and starts getting injected with experimental, like, hormone, gene, DNA unraveling cocktails to try to keep him alive. | |
| And the conservatives are just like, leave Trump alone! | |
| He deserves compassion like everybody! | |
| And it's just like, as soon as he's healthy again, you guys are going to go back to talking about how blacks shouldn't have rights. | |
| Fuck you. | |
| You pick and choose when you're compassionate. | |
| Yup. | |
| You either are or you're not. | |
| And in terms of me, the conservatives, I'm not. | |
| So my position on that has never changed. | |
| I can just no longer say exactly what I mean on Twitter without getting kicked off. | |
| Do we want to get to it? | |
| Get back to the true telling of Q's story? | |
| Yeah, this is the longest news segment ever, but I mean, I guess that makes sense. | |
| First of all, we're just off the rails like we normally are. | |
| Just all the time being completely bananas. | |
| But also, Trump having COVID is very important. | |
| Q saying nothing about COVID in Trump's body is very telling. | |
| And, you know, two weeks from now, however it shakes out, the Q Cabal will figure out what their narrative about it is and | |
| it will either be Trump was assassinated by Kovac or you know | |
| Trump heroically beat Kovac because now his Blood is filled with antibodies that will save humanity | |
| like a fucking zombie apocalypse movie. Yeah Trump what is basically Jesus who got Kovac because he knew | |
| he was the only person with pure enough genes and Good enough blood that after he beat the Kovac | |
| We could use his divine body to create the vaccine that would save the world | |
| Yeah, I love that conservatives, it makes total sense, or well, not necessarily all conservatives, I guess it's just the Q-Nutters who would believe that. | |
| That Donald Trump would be the one, like, Donald J. Trump is the one who has the body that can produce the anti-COVID antibodies and not, like, Chris Hemsworth. | |
| Or like Idris Elba. | |
| Certainly not him. | |
| He's black. | |
| Like, he's just fucking insane. | |
| Just a shredded, hard-bodied, like, actual fit, capable people. | |
| Like, no deal. | |
| The COVID would destroy their body. | |
| We need this doughy septuagenarian to step in to save us all. | |
| Big ups for septuagenarian. | |
| That is a, that was a great word. | |
| Oh man, I found out how hard it was to spell. | |
| I was tweeting about it. | |
| I was like, I have to look up the spelling on this one because it is not phonetic. | |
| So yeah, I mean, this is the thing. | |
| And the thing about this is that it's this like slow moving car crash that's like so ridiculous because it's like QAnon has already declared victory. | |
| He has beaten COVID. | |
| He is now in the prime of health. | |
| He could not be healthier. | |
| Life is great. | |
| We've done it. | |
| We've won everybody. | |
| Get out the aircraft carrier with the Mission Accomplished banner. | |
| It's over. | |
| Meanwhile, his own doctor, the doctors that were lying on his behalf and not talking about his lungs due to HIPAA violations were like, yeah, we're going to have to see how it goes through the weekend. | |
| He sure isn't out of the woods yet. | |
| So it's like it's just this incredible slow-moving car crash where like every day you kind of have to just like wake up and look at your phone and just wonder am I gonna have like 20 messages from all my friends who are already awake letting me know that the president just went on a ventilator or like it's even worse than that I mean it's just it's yeah up until the election any day now could possibly be Mike Pence's president's day right exactly I mean it's just that it's just If it does happen, God willing, it is before the election, and then we just quickly get to replace Pence-bot with Biden-bot, with Sleepy Joe or whatever. | |
| And then we can go from there. | |
| Yeah so yeah I mean it is just this is just so strange it's like the weirdest news story because it's the slowest news story it would be as if like In the Kennedy assassination, we were like a week away from- each gunshot was like a week past the previous gunshot. | |
| It's like, can't someone like save him or anything? | |
| It's like, nope, we just have to sit here and watch this car get strafed with bullets. | |
| Or like 9-11, like one plane hits one building and they're like, by the way, in two weeks the other plane is going to hit the other building. | |
| And it's like, what? | |
| Can we stop that? | |
| Nope, you just have to wait two weeks to find out if this other plane comes flying in or not. | |
| So, it's like in this world where it's like, now, now, now! | |
| Information, information, information! | |
| It's just like, a virus doesn't give a shit about your timetable, the virus is gonna do whatever the fuck it wants! | |
| So... Trump is just making saving throws every day, and either I'll pass him or I'll fail him, but... Right. | |
| We have to wait as every day he gets to make his 24-hour check against, you know, in this case, coronavirus. | |
| Yes, a save against corona! | |
| The Corona Saves Podcast! | |
| It's our new D&D adventure campaign set in Hellworld! | |
| Oh god. | |
| All right, well, that was a tight 30 minutes talking about the fucking Electoral College and Donald Trump, like, maybe or maybe not dying of COVID, so let's get into some Q-drops. | |
| Okay, so we finished with Q-drops 14 and 15, which, again, were, like, literally, like, incredibly important, like, the Oregon Q. Oh, yeah, meat falling off the bone. | |
| Yeah, like, this was, like, this was a back when Q was a storyteller that was spinning the yarn! | |
| So now we go to Qdrop16, which is, in a word, hilarious. | |
| Got whimsy. | |
| Yes. | |
| Get the popcorn. | |
| Friday and Saturday will deliver on the MAGA promise. | |
| POTUS knows he must clean house government in order to free up and demonstrate who has authority in order to pass important legislation. | |
| This was always the priority. | |
| Remember, AG Sessions cannot look like an impartial player that is out to get all former Obama team members as we need him for other important work. | |
| All will come into focus and for anyone to think POTUS is not in control is kidding themselves. | |
| Also, he's 100% insulated with zero risk of impeachment. | |
| It ends with the word FACT in brackets. | |
| So yes, but that is QDROP 16. | |
| The MAGA promise. | |
| So this is October 31st. | |
| I don't know what actual day that was. | |
| So let's just say, as of the week of October 31st, the MAGA promise happened and America immediately just BAM! | |
| Became great again. | |
| Was great. | |
| Yes. | |
| We all remember when it happened. | |
| We were just like, oh god. | |
| Remember back in Halloween when America wasn't great and now that it's like November 3rd or whatever, it's fucking great again? | |
| Yes. | |
| I remember where I was. | |
| I remember where I was. | |
| I was in an Arby's and all of a sudden my sandwich had twice as much roast beef. | |
| And all of a sudden you weren't in an Arby's. | |
| You were in an Arby's. | |
| I was turning off and then all of a sudden my hand turned into a supermodel and I was like, oh my god! | |
| It was just a star wipe across the nation. | |
| Yeah, you were in Arby's and then suddenly you looked up and you were just in like a gourmet steakhouse and like life was just a hundred times better than being in an Arby's. | |
| The fries were curlier. | |
| Oh god, the curliest. | |
| Which promise that obviously didn't come true as we're talking about here, was this the day when the border wall erected itself from the earth? | |
| Just erupting like Like fucking sinister spires like a video game just like a video game Yeah, like all along the all along the border and then like the the 20 billion dollars just got siphoned out of Mexico's coffers | |
| He's also 100% insulated with zero risk of impeachment. | |
| I'm assuming the insulation is his heat retention, because what? | |
| Don't worry, he'll never get impeached that guy. | |
| There's no way he could get impeached. | |
| I love this Q-drop so much because This was in 2017 when the Republicans controlled everything. | |
| So like the idea of Trump being impeached was like this paranoid delusion that could only happen if the Democrats won the House in the 2018 midterms. | |
| And so the fact that Q felt the need to go out of his way and say, by the way, the Democrats won't win the 2018 midterms, but if they did, they still would never impeach Trump in a million years, so don't sweat any of that, and then he was disastrously, hilariously fucking wrong about it, is just perfect. | |
| Donald Trump is 100% insulated and can't be impeached, narrative voice. | |
| He wasn't. | |
| Also, did you get your popcorn? | |
| Oh, yes. | |
| Get our popcorn right there. | |
| I don't really fuck with popcorn, to be honest with you. | |
| Get the popcorn, comma. | |
| Yeah, I mean, again, this Q-drop certainly seems like it was written by the same person who wrote number 15. | |
| Whether or not that's the same person who writes all the other ones, you know, your mileage may vary, but I think this is Q2, and Q2 likes to get a little saucy in his writing, and Q2 also likes taking big swings that become demonstrably, provably wrong later on, like saying that Podesta would be indicted, or Huma would be indicted, or that Donald Trump couldn't possibly be impeached. | |
| Why is fact in brackets and then the period? | |
| Because they fucking want you to know that he is 100% insulated with zero risk of impeachment. | |
| Fact. | |
| Come back and check it later, and if it's wrong, it proves that Q is bullshit. | |
| Oh no, it was wrong. | |
| Please ignore this. | |
| It was not a fact. | |
| That was a false flag. | |
| Yeah, Q later on goes on to explain that what he meant was convicted and removed. | |
| Because Q doesn't understand that there's... | |
| Q level clearance apparently doesn't make you smart enough to understand the impeachment | |
| process. | |
| Right, the basic civics 101 bullshit about what each house of congress does in the impeachment | |
| process was just completely lost on him. | |
| He just had no earthly idea. | |
| If you're just like an average American citizen, it is fine for you to not understand that impeachment does not immediately remove somebody from office, because the way that the media talks about impeachment sure makes it seem like that's the case, but if you've got Q-level clearance, and I'm a double secret spy in the government, and one of the premier tools in the coming storm. | |
| I would expect you to fucking know how our government works, man. | |
| Right, exactly. | |
| Pass a fucking civics class, for crying out loud. | |
| Another thing that I really enjoy in this Q-drop is that he is, again, he is the communication operative Uh, of the storm. | |
| He is explaining to us, the laypeople, this incredibly important information about what's happening in our country. | |
| And he's so fucking bad at his job that he states that Jeff Sessions cannot look impartial. | |
| So he's saying that Jeff Sessions- No! | |
| Jeff Sessions shouldn't look impartial. | |
| He should be biased as fuck going after these people. | |
| The fact that Q doesn't know what the word impartial means It is critically important that Sessions looks like he's in the pocket one way or the other. | |
| Catch me up on Jeff Sessions. | |
| Catch me up on Jeff Sessions. | |
| Wasn't he removed? | |
| Uh, yes. | |
| But the thing that's really funny about Sessions is Q basically established him as a tier below | |
| Trump in the God Hero narratives of QAnon. | |
| Jeff Sessions, Admiral Rogers, and Michael Flynn are the three sub-gods beneath the God Emperor of Trump. | |
| How many of those are left? | |
| I think Rogers might still be in government, but Sessions... Trump actually aggressively hates Sessions. | |
| He literally does everything he can to piss on Jeff Sessions at any possible chance that he has. | |
| I thought it was Trump's thing to get pissed on. | |
| Zing! | |
| Don't forget, folks, the juiciest fruit hangs the lowest. | |
| Yes, absolutely. | |
| It would be amazing if Russia just, like, released that right now. | |
| The piss tape. | |
| I mean, that would be terrifying, because they obviously want Trump to stay in office, and that certainly couldn't help his chances, so what the fuck would that mean for Joe Biden? | |
| If Donald Trump dropped the piss tape on Donald Trump right now, I would just be like, holy shit, Joe Biden is riding with Russia. | |
| They're leveling you. | |
| This is like in poker where you bluff with a small bet because they know that you'd... 5D chess? | |
| Yeah, this is 5D chess. | |
| I would love to watch the Q analytics start rolling in with people doing screencaps and like how this is CGI and that's like a Trump body double and there's not really piss there. | |
| That's not real urine. | |
| It's just water. | |
| It's just simulated piss which is fine. | |
| Just don't worry about it. | |
| Oh, and he's so great. | |
| All the water sport fetishists guys are like, I've seen a lot of piss in my videos and that, that is not piss. | |
| Welcome to Urine Corner. | |
| Yes. | |
| It's like that fucking Patton Oswalt bit where she's like, it's artsy, you have to imagine the piss. | |
| Patton Oswalt also accused Q of being a pedophile and somehow not arrested. | |
| One of my favorite things about this whole thing is that Q just will throw out allegations of pedophilia at anyone and everyone, and then when you ask why those people haven't been arrested, they'll be like, it's too important, the investigation will get screwed up if something happens. | |
| You can't take down Patton Oswalt for fuck's sake! | |
| I mean, who is he? | |
| Arresting Patton Oswalt, known pedophile as it were, just getting a monster child abusing satanist off the streets seems like a win to me. | |
| I would love for you to explain the dominoes where us busting Patton Oswalt means that Hillary and Obama skate. | |
| Patton Oswalt is like fucking Al Capone. | |
| The case against him is too important. | |
| I can't fuck it up at any turn. | |
| Okay, so QDROP 16, another big Q swing, easily disproven in the future, surprising nobody except for maybe Q followers who deserve to be surprised. | |
| Full of fun and whimsy. | |
| Oh, grab the popcorn everybody! | |
| Oh my god. | |
| So yes, so now we head to QDROP 17 where sinister allegations against former President Obama are made. | |
| Why does Obama travel in advance of POTUS to foreign locations? | |
| Why is this relevant? | |
| Focus on the power of POTUS as it relates to the Marines. | |
| How can MI be applied to prosecute bad actors and avoid corrupt agencies and judges? | |
| Biggest drop bomb, Paul. | |
| Above is reason why the shills are sliding. | |
| In case you didn't know, shills log and send new info back to ASF for instruction. | |
| They use a 5-prong prepackaged injection. | |
| One post auto-generates, 4 more at random designated times. | |
| Common drive of posts they all tap into. | |
| Since they misjudge the influence of the MSM, they are aggressively looking to censor throughout major platforms in exchange for CIA slush funds and WW access for expansion of said networks. | |
| Everything they do has been forecasted and prepared for. | |
| Bro, what the fuck is he talking about? | |
| Yeah, this is just absolutely, totally incoherent Jason Bourne bullshit. | |
| Like, he suddenly slid into fucking just bad sci-fi author territory there, just like, just talking, like, just, you know, just three-letter designations, talking about fucking package injections. | |
| It's like, dawg, you need to, you need to dumb it down for your audience, because I don't fucking understand. | |
| Random designated times? | |
| Those two words don't go together. | |
| Yes! | |
| Yeah, like, are the times randomly designated? | |
| But, like, what does that even mean? | |
| Anyway... We have to start at the top with this one. | |
| That's why we have Mr. Mike Raines here, to fucking walk us through this shit. | |
| I am as fucking lost as anyone on this one because this is just such gibberish. | |
| It's just like Q pretending to be a super secret spy and making up this bullshit about how the Deep State is fighting back against him. | |
| Because now in Qdrop17 he's super important, he's a big guy, he's got cache, he's got pull. | |
| Like, the bad guys are coming into his threads and saying mean things about him that make him sad. | |
| What's ASF? | |
| A No Earthly Idea. | |
| American Space Force? | |
| It could be American Space Force. | |
| I mean, it's... | |
| The shills are going to Donald Trump's Space Force to get the package injection. | |
| What's the biggest drop on polls? | |
| That is basically he's stating that like his information this is being put on the poll board on 4chan this is the biggest drop of information in the history of poll like Q's ultra insider information being distributed to the rank-and-file members of the Nazi Anime Board. | |
| So this is it, boys. | |
| You're strapped in for the biggest drop ever. | |
| I'm giving you all the good stuff. | |
| The hard-hitting intel, which... Yeah, and then we get into this cyberpunk. | |
| They use a five-prong pre-packaged injection. | |
| One post auto-generates four more at random designated times. | |
| He was all chrome and neon when he drove his fuckin' burner up to the patio or whatever. | |
| Just total nonsense gibberish. | |
| I expect to be hallucinating about Johnny Silverhand here in a fuckin' minute. | |
| I feel like I'm reading Snow Crash. | |
| Like, holy shit. | |
| The thing I love about it is, like, the idea that the cabal is doing things in exchange for CIA slush funds. | |
| So the CIA isn't doing this directly, like, Bob and Steve... Is it the point that the cabal is supposed to have unlimited funds and reach so that they can, like, you know, perpetrate conspiracies on a government level? | |
| Why the fuck would they need slush funds? | |
| Maybe because they're cheap. | |
| Yeah. | |
| Yeah, don't they get all their money from selling adrenochrome to Patton Oswalt? | |
| Follow the money, people! | |
| Exactly. | |
| What is WW? | |
| Worldwide. | |
| Worldwide, excellent. | |
| Okay, common drive of post they all tap into. | |
| That's just a sentence not referencing anything. | |
| No, it's just like... I'm assuming that that is supposed to say that there's like a computer like Like a server farm or something somewhere, where the bad guys are, like, jacking into it, and their people, or maybe an AI, because who the fuck knows with this narrative, generating, like, propaganda or whatever for them to pull off of this single location, and then, like, inject it into the media? | |
| In five-point stages? | |
| The first post, and then it randomly generates four others. | |
| Yeah, like maybe so like, you know, some sort of American Twitter bot pulls a talking point off of this server farm and like tweets it or whatever or sends it out to CNN, the evil Lib Media, and then it generates five related stories or whatever. | |
| I mean like, I'm Literally trying to unravel what the point of this is supposed to be. | |
| Yeah, I'm reading it right now, and basically the way it reads to me is when it says, above is the reason why shills are sliding. | |
| In case you didn't know, shills log and send back information. | |
| So it feels like the shills are reading these queue drops, seeing the powerful intelligence that's being given to the American people via queue, and they're frantically sending that information to ASF, whatever the fuck that is, and then ASF I miss Qdrop16. | |
| It like generates a packaged injection of anti-Q narrative? | |
| Apparently yes. | |
| ASF, like they got people just sweating in this like fucking bunker, like trying to crank | |
| out ways to fight the unbelievably truthful and powerful information that Q... | |
| I miss Qdrop16. | |
| Like, this... | |
| Well, I mean Qdrop17 is weird on a lot of levels. | |
| First of all, I mean, like, it's sci-fi gibberish, which is great. | |
| I mean, I'm probably going to enjoy the story a lot more if it's going to get all sci-fi and wacky. | |
| But also, you know, time for L's Formatting Corner. | |
| The first part of this pose is formatted in... | |
| Q1 style, the second part of this post is formatted in Q2 style, so I don't know, like, that could mean that this is evidence that it is one person, and that they just have these, like, two different areas of their brain when they're writing their Q shit, or this could be, like, maybe a collaboration between the two people that are Q at this point, because it's not even just the fact that, like, the first part of it is that bulletin list that we've all come to know so well, but also, like, You know, the first part is the list, and then the second part is literally this different style of voice, like, five words into it, calling people shills, which the other Qdrops don't do. | |
| Like, in the whole, like, timeline of, there are two separate styles of Q writing, even if it's the same person. | |
| There's no arguing that there are two different styles to it. | |
| And the thing that's really weird about this is that, like, the The Q-drop pivots on a dime, because it's just... Yeah, it references itself. | |
| When it says above, it references its own body of text, which is really weird. | |
| Yeah, it's basically two separate drops, because it's this one drop about Obama running to a foreign nation ahead of a Trump visit to try to Keep that foreign nation on Team Cabal, because Trump's going to come in with the offer the Patriots have to switch sides, and he's trying to make sure that that doesn't happen. | |
| And then suddenly it pivots from this game of chess between the Cabal and the Patriots and Trump and Obama, and then it just pivots into this weird sci-fi, cyberpunk, dystopian, five-pronged intelligence, CIA slush funds, argle-bargle, worgle-lorgle, Yeah. | |
| Focus on the POTUS's power as it relates to the Marines. | |
| It's the same as it's ever been. | |
| Right. | |
| And then out of nowhere we're suddenly talking about five prongs. | |
| This person fucking loves the Marines. | |
| I would not be surprised if whoever Q started as was former Marine or whatever. | |
| Or fetishizes them. | |
| Or fetishizes them for some other reason. | |
| Marines is, like, weirdly specific. | |
| Like, if it was just a fetish thing, you would think it would probably be, like, all branches of the government because that is who Donald Trump allegedly is in charge of. | |
| But this person keeps going out of their way to just be like, the Marines are the hottest shit. | |
| They are the tip of the spear for Donald Trump. | |
| And it's just like, dog, I don't think you know how our military works. | |
| But, like, that level of fetishizing, I mean, you know, I would not be surprised to find out that this person was, like, former Marine or, you know, some sad incel that wanted to be a Marine but they wouldn't accept him because he wore glasses or something. | |
| I'm willing to make a bet that in the day when we finally find out who Q is, if they ever do, and they take a picture of his room, he will have a full metal jacket poster on his wall. | |
| Oh God, Vegas won't even take odds on that bet. | |
| Holy shit. | |
| Oh my God. | |
| Yeah. | |
| But yeah, this drop is really weird because that connective tissue that we were talking about, it really sort of makes it sound like this is two cues talking to each other. | |
| Yeah. | |
| Right? | |
| Like one person is like, if this was via instant message, right, like this would make a lot more, or via text, like two fucking incels on their phones texting back and forth, it would make a lot more sense. | |
| It would just be like, one person just be like, Oh, well, how can AMI be applied to prosecute bad actors and avoid corrupt agencies and judges? | |
| It's the biggest drop in poll! | |
| And then, like, somebody else coming in and just being like, above is the reason why the shills are sliding. | |
| Like, completely different voice. | |
| It feels like someone riffing on a post they got sent. | |
| And, I mean, it has the multiple question marks, and then we jump to the paragraph style. | |
| Yeah, I mean, like, honestly, like, I'm not saying that this is three people, because not even I am willing to take that swing now, but, like, If you were reading this as if it were a series of text messages, like, I could totally see the first chunk, uh, with all the questions being like, Q1, and then, like, person 2 dropping in to just be like, this is the biggest drop in poll, and then person 3 coming in to just be like, here's my first treatment for my cyberpunk novel. | |
| What's really interesting, this is probably my last word on Qdrop17 though, is it's very funny that after Biggest Drop on Poll, there are no question marks in the rest of the Qdrop, and like question marks are literally all Q lives for. | |
| I mean like, his question mark key has to be like destroyed on his keyboard. | |
| I mean only for Q1. | |
| Q1 still loves question marks. | |
| Q2 hates question marks. | |
| I mean, are there any question marks on Qdrop16? | |
| I don't see any. | |
| Giving it a cursory glance over. | |
| Qdrop16, no question marks. | |
| Qdrop15, no question marks. | |
| Qdrop14, literally mono question marks. | |
| Like, it couldn't be more question marks if it tried. | |
| So we basically have, like, riffing, straight-talking Q, and then we have the Riddler Q. Riddler Q, I think I call them that. | |
| Let me hit this one to you. | |
| Instead of Q1 and Q2, it's the Riddler and the Penguin. | |
| Done. | |
| Done. | |
| Sales through committee, the full body will work on this legislation next week. | |
| Absolutely. | |
| If only because I feel like Riddler and Penguin sort of like fit well together when you say them. | |
| Like, I don't want to say... I certainly don't want to call this idiot the Joker, even though he is a Joker. | |
| Wakka Wakka. | |
| Just because that's giving him too much credit. | |
| I don't want to call him Bane. | |
| Bane's too cool. | |
| Yeah. | |
| Killer Croc doesn't make any sense. | |
| Penguin seems right in the pocket, because he sucks, and that's probably just about it. | |
| He sucks. | |
| He sucks. | |
| The one movie he was in was with Danny DeVito, and he deserved every crumb of that, both DeVito and the Penguin character. | |
| Fuck them. | |
| Lance to Haddon, we're rich. | |
| Yeah, speaking of the Riddler, he shows back up in Q-Drop 18. | |
| You want to roll that one for us, Mike? | |
| Q-Drop 18, rolling that beautiful bean footage. | |
| Why did Mueller meet POTUS one day prior to FBI announcement if Mueller could not be offered director due to previous term limits rule? | |
| Why is Pelosi begging for a new special counsel? | |
| What is Pelosi's net worth? | |
| How was this obtained given salary as career official? | |
| Why is Pelosi's memory going? | |
| Could it protect against prosecution? | |
| How so? | |
| What if John M's surgery was fake? | |
| Why would this occur? | |
| What could this prevent potentially? | |
| What is the Mayo Clinic? | |
| Who sits on the BOD there? | |
| What is the Mayo Clinic? | |
| Yeah, wow, what an intense riddle. | |
| Can we possibly figure out what the Mayo Clinic is? | |
| Oh my god. | |
| If only we had Google or some way to fucking discern information like this. | |
| Oh my god. | |
| I just had an idea of what the word clinic meant. | |
| What is the Mayo Clinic? | |
| What is the Mayo Clinic? | |
| so like this is joker this is this is uh riddler q in the highest levels and he's just repeating himself like this is the pelosi dementia thing the fake john mccain surgery thing like riddler q is Totally out of gas. | |
| I mean, he's just repeating himself at this point. | |
| Like, maybe by Qdrop18 he has a bigger following than he did in his previous things and he's trying to get people up to speed with the dumb narratives he's promoting. | |
| But, like, this is lazy as fuck. | |
| I like that RiddlerQ also has the audacity to try to bring up Pelosi's net worth. | |
| Like, Because is the implication there that she's poor, so she's trying to get that CIA slush money? | |
| Because to me, it seems like the implication is that she's too rich to be trusted, which is fucking hysterical coming from Trump supporters, because that guy's literal whole gimmick is rich businessmen, right? | |
| But he's very poor. | |
| He's only paid $750 in taxes. | |
| Oh, I mean, we know that now, but back then, right when his taxes just started to be under their indefinite audit, he was still Donald Trump, notorious for being rich. | |
| Yeah, so this is like there maybe and that was me just googling the Mayo | |
| Clinic and I can tell you what it is now is I did a cursory Google search. | |
| Right? I didn't hear anything. It's certainly not like your fucking | |
| keyboard sounds like a stampede of your keyboard might as well be the | |
| freakness. | |
| But uh, yeah, so like the hit their whole thing is that these career | |
| politicians have way more money than like a career politician salary, as if | |
| they don't know that these people write books or do anything, any of a | |
| million other things that get them all thousands for appearances, right? | |
| Sultan is flip of all kinds. They can just get and if If QAnon wants to get the money out of politics, I mean, let's ally. | |
| Let's get together, my brothers, and do that. | |
| Yeah, let's finally get around to draining that fucking swamp. | |
| Right, exactly. | |
| Yet another MAGA promise that allegedly came true overnight that one day, but never did. | |
| We're still in Halloween, and it happened that Halloween three years ago. | |
| Oh yeah, in the narrative it hasn't happened yet. | |
| It's coming though. | |
| Oh, it's coming. | |
| Yeah, whatever the Friday or Saturday is that week, it's coming right down Broadway. | |
| But yeah, this is... | |
| Pelosi's got too much money and she's going to fake Alzheimer's to avoid being prosecuted. | |
| John McCain doesn't have brain cancer. | |
| He only claimed to have brain cancer because he's going to be murdered by Donald Trump in the near future for his litany of crimes against humanity and America. | |
| And this is, again, he said this before, this is just beating a dead horse. | |
| And it's really interesting now going through these that like you see Riddler Q just doesn't have ammo and I don't... Yeah Riddler Q spends most of his time spinning his wheels. | |
| It makes me wonder if that's why he brought on the penguin to sort of like help like fluff up the narrative. | |
| Yeah. | |
| So, I mean, this drop is terrible because there's nothing to talk about | |
| because we've already talked about all of it. | |
| Do you know who they're referencing on the board of directors at the Mayo Clinic? | |
| Uh, no. | |
| I- this is just one of those things where Q throws it out there | |
| and every now and then, uh, some QAnon promoter | |
| will do a, Guys, guys! | |
| And they'll do like a seven-dimensional chess. | |
| They'll do the the gift from always sunny in Philadelphia of the guys hitting his hands | |
| Yeah, with the strings and the corkboard, and they'll connect someone on the BOD from Mayo Clinic to this person, to this person, to Obama, and everyone will freak out and celebrate it, and then nothing happens for three months, and then someone else finds another someone else on the BOD. | |
| It's just one of those open-ended questions that Q uses so that these idiots can get a dopamine hit by trying to figure out what the fuck he was talking about when he didn't have any idea what he was saying. | |
| Honestly, I kind of prefer the Penguin to the Riddler because, at least with the Penguin's writing, when I'm confused about it, it's just because it's like gibberish and sci-fi and just made-up shit, versus the Riddler, which is confusing because, like, You know, probably by design, the Riddler's just like, I'm gonna fuckin' bamboozle your brain by throwing a hundred questions at you in the same span of this one piece of document, and then you have to untangle, like, get in there and start pulling the threads and figure out what the fuck I'm trying to say. | |
| Yeah, like, you're gonna have to figure out why Trump and the Marines are a special relationship, idiot. | |
| It's like, what? | |
| No! | |
| Why? | |
| Just fuckin' tell me! | |
| Because he is the Warhammer 40k God Emperor. | |
| Yeah, or just like, why is Pelosi begging for a new special counsel? | |
| Okay, I mean, I guess that's a question we could ask. | |
| Why? | |
| What is Pelosi's net worth? | |
| What does that have to do with how mustard tastes? | |
| How is this obtained given salary as career official? | |
| Okay, that ties into your last point, at least. | |
| Why is Pelosi's memory going? | |
| Dog, what does any of this shit have to do with one another aside from the fact that it involves Pelosi? | |
| Like, it's just like, Pelosi has dementia, so she became rich! | |
| What are you talking about? | |
| And the Bob Mueller thing is, again, this is back when Q didn't know that Bob Mueller was actually going to indict people and put Paul Manafort in jail. | |
| Yeah, put Manafort in jail, convict Roger Stone, and make Trump a commuted sentence. | |
| At this point like Q is able to spin this yarn that the Mueller investigation is actually a secret anti-democrat weapon that Trump and Mueller are on the same team working to bring down the Democrats and then as the months go by and Manafort gets indicted and Flynn pleads guilty and Papadopoulos pleads guilty and Q suddenly realizes oh my god all these like all this low-hanging fruit that is connected to Trump in one way or another these people are going down now and since I'm all about Trump being the ultimate hero now Bob Mueller has to be the bad guy so like | |
| Who doesn't like a nice heel turn? | |
| Right, so like mid-2018 Q is just like fuck Bob Mueller and his hatred of Rod Rosenstein is like literally the most hilarious thing. | |
| He literally predicts Rod Rosenstein's gonna get thrown because Rosenstein was the guy who was in charge of Mueller and could have fired Mueller if he so desired to do so. | |
| And he wouldn't do it. | |
| There's like 400 Q drops. | |
| He's like, goodbye Rod Rosenstein. | |
| It's like every day is the day Rod Rosenstein is gonna get kicked off the Mueller case. | |
| Mueller's gonna get shit canned and we're gonna sweep that whole thing under the rug. | |
| So eventually in the year 2023 when Bill Barr actually does crush the Mueller investigation, Q finally gets to declare victory. | |
| And finally he is gloriously correct about everything as he was that whole time when he got everything fucking right. | |
| Rosenstein is the new Huma, I've always said that. | |
| Oh yeah! | |
| Yes! | |
| Oh god. | |
| Huma out, Rosenstein in. | |
| That is absolutely the way it works. | |
| So in terms of analyzing the Q-drops, I think we should probably put a pin in it there for the week, just because our news segment ran long, and just cursory scanning of Q-drop 19 without trying to spoil too much of it for myself. | |
| It looks like a doozy. | |
| I mean, I can already see the KKK's back, Mockingbird gets dropped again, so... Pen-O-Network. | |
| Yeah. | |
| So, QJob19 seems like, it seems like there's a lot of meat on that bone, and we've all got, like, personal shit to handle over the course of the day, so... | |
| I think we should probably wrap up this part of the podcast for this week and roll into the wind down. | |
| Okay, so yeah, that's fair enough. | |
| We will put a pin in it, as it were. | |
| I will give you a quick update on breaking news, as it were. | |
| The stock market appears to have closed down almost 400 points, thanks to our idiot president saying, poor people getting more money due to the COVID! | |
| Get forked, idiots! | |
| So, good job. | |
| Good job, POTUS. | |
| Good job, God Emperor. | |
| Not spooking the markets as it were. | |
| Hashtag totally spooked the markets. | |
| I mean, what does he care? | |
| He's a great businessman and he always has been a great businessman and no businesses he's run has ever lost money or gone bankrupt and he knows what he's doing. | |
| Uh, so yes, so now we will go to, uh, the listener question thing, which I posted hastily and did actually get questions, which is good. | |
| So, uh, Shakes Takes, who's one of my frequent inquisitors, uh, says, uh, has Major Patriot ever explained why his PFP is that of a captain? | |
| So, uh, Sarge, the floor is yours. | |
| Yeah, so if you look at Major Patriot's little profile picture in the little version, I'm looking at a bigger one now. | |
| It's just so pixelated and shitty. | |
| Major has a gold oak leaf as their rank emblem. | |
| I'm not sure what PFP stands for. | |
| There are a million abbreviations in the military. | |
| But if you look at the smaller one, and just a couple of days ago I was looking at it, it looks like two golden bars. | |
| Which, or two bars. | |
| It was hard to tell the color. | |
| Which is the rank of a captain, or if you're in the Navy, they call that a lieutenant. | |
| But the rank symbol is the same, and on the rank, the O scale, it is also the same. | |
| So it doesn't look like he holds the rank of a major, or did. | |
| I'm trying to look. | |
| See, I called him out on Twitter about this shit. | |
| I still think he looks like Max Headroom. | |
| This profile picture is exceptionally shitty. | |
| I literally did not know he was supposed to be wearing some sort of military uniform and hat until I saw this enhanced, blown-up, blown-out version where I could, like, kind of piece it together after you guys mentioned it. | |
| I don't know. | |
| I still think he looks like Max Hedron wearing a Golden Chef's hat, so that's the narrative in my head. | |
| So he looks like he's wearing desert camo circa the mid-2000s, so it's hard to tell what branch he's supposed to be in. | |
| And if you're wearing desert camo, the rank insignia on that would be black, so it looks photoshopped on, because the rank wouldn't stand out like that. | |
| You don't wear the shiny metal rank. | |
| Is the rank the thing that's on his hat? | |
| Yes. | |
| I mean, that definitely doesn't look like it's part of the original picture of me, but I'm not an expert on that, so maybe that could just be a trick of the pixelization or whatever. | |
| But it certainly looks like somebody just went into MS Paint and put a black rectangle with some shit on it on this hat. | |
| Yeah, so the captain's bars on the desert camo that he looks like he's wearing would be two black bars instead of, because we wear subdued ranks so light doesn't reflect off of it. | |
| Uh, when you're in combat. | |
| You don't want to get hit by a sniper who notices you? | |
| Holy shit! | |
| No way, you want a glowing, gleaming gold medallion on your hat right where your fucking brain is. | |
| It really pulls the camo together. | |
| When you're in the desert, you want to be invisible, except for where your brain is, which you want to be highly visible. | |
| I mean, I don't know this guy, and I'm glad I don't know this guy, but if I had to guess, | |
| I would say that his rank is nobody, and his branch of the military is basement in suburbia, | |
| and his uniform is from an army surplus store, or maybe like a Bass Pro Shop. | |
| I'd need to see DD-214 for this guy, which is the piece of paper they give you when you | |
| give out of the military with your military history on it. | |
| I do not believe he's actually ever held rank in any armed service. | |
| So yeah. | |
| Doesn't this guy have you blocked on Twitter, Mike? | |
| Yes, he does. | |
| And then he unblocked me because he was going to go toe-to-toe with me, and then a week later he was like, I'm going to block you again because this is getting boring, aka I was beating the shit out of him. | |
| Fair enough. | |
| Well, maybe he listens to the podcast, and if he does, Major Patriot, I'm fucking calling you out. | |
| I think you're full of shit. | |
| I don't think you're even military adjacent. | |
| I think that just like a lot of these cute people, you're just some sort of armchair warrior. | |
| So go ahead and prove us wrong, unless your military records or whatever happen to be under permanent audit, like Donald Trump's tax returns. | |
| Or to be a HIPAA violation to release them. | |
| Yeah, well, whatever excuse you want to throw at us. | |
| Or you can just prove that you're in the military and that you're not just cosplaying because it makes you feel like a big man. | |
| Yeah, he is very likely a member of Meal Team 6, or the 82nd Cheriborn, as it were. | |
| I can't wait for him to show up and be like, here's my official document from the Proud Boys, we're government! | |
| So if you want to do some fun homework at home, if you just Google subdued officer rank insignia, you can see what I'm talking about. | |
| The leaf would be, I don't know, like a matted gray and captain bars would be black. | |
| So even if, yeah, it just doesn't make any sense. | |
| That guy is like the Beastie Boys. | |
| He has no bars. | |
| Boom. | |
| Roasted. | |
| That's right. | |
| I'm calling out the Beastie Boys again. | |
| This is the hell I'm dying on in 2020. | |
| The Beastie Boys were whack. | |
| This guy is whack. | |
| Yes. | |
| Thank God. | |
| Someone finally knocking the Beastie Boys down a peg or two. | |
| Thank God. | |
| I mean, one of them is dead and the rest of them are just a bunch of old Jews these days, which is fine, but I'm tired of people paying lip service. | |
| Their beats were sick. | |
| Their raps were whack. | |
| Yeah. | |
| So, uh, 28th Amendment Cat asks, uh, maybe off-talking for a Hellworld ep, but how does Putin figure in the Q world? | |
| Friend? | |
| Foe? | |
| Does it depend on which anon you ask? | |
| Putin is a good guy. | |
| He is a white hat. | |
| He is a hero. | |
| The QAnon is basically, if you're a democratically elected leader outside of the god emperor Donald Trump, they pretty much hate you. | |
| Justin Trudeau? | |
| Hated. | |
| Uh, Andrew Merkel in Germany? | |
| Hated. | |
| Macron in France? | |
| Hated. | |
| Boris Johnson was a good guy, but he's taking COVID a little too seriously right now, and a lot of UK QAnon are starting to think he might be a part of the cabal. | |
| Yeah, he really just needs to infect himself so that he can destroy it publicly. | |
| Well, he already did infect himself and almost died. | |
| Oh, did he? | |
| He got very sick. | |
| Yeah, he said that he was 50-50 if you go on a ventilator, that he was in real bad shape. | |
| Oh, then how the fuck can they gripe about it? | |
| He just pulled the Trump maneuver, which is infecting yourself with COVID and crushing it with your powerful body. | |
| It's very weird. | |
| These world leaders that denied how dangerous COVID is, the president of Brazil, Boris Johnson, our president, are all the ones that caught it. | |
| Right. | |
| Yeah, it's a real mystery. | |
| But the dictators, MBS in Saudi Arabia, Putin, Kim Jong Un, all total white hats. | |
| Totally good guys. | |
| So, like, QAnon's worldview is so warped when it comes to, like, foreign countries that you don't even try to wrap your head around it. | |
| You'll just go insane. | |
| There's nothing warped about it. | |
| They just fucking like dictators. | |
| They want Donald Trump to become dictator of America. | |
| Absolutely. | |
| They love Assad in Syria. | |
| They want him to win the civil war and just crush everybody. | |
| They love Assad in Syria, they want him to win the civil war and just crush everybody. | |
| And there's even talk about how the only reason why there's a civil war in Syria is because | |
| the globalists are trying to put a Rothschild bank in Syria. | |
| It's one of the few nations on earth that didn't have a Rothschild bank before and what a Rothschild bank is is like literally a boogeyman they make up in order to scare themselves because like Jews who are rich are evil and bad and we hate them and that's just the way it works. | |
| Oh, is that part of the whole, like, globalist... Oh yeah, globalist is just a synonym for Jew, so yes. | |
| I know, it all comes back to anti-Semitism. | |
| Yeah, it always does. | |
| The anti-Semitism is bold and apparent in the Q narrative and all of their supporters. | |
| It's quite good. | |
| I'm glad that enough people on Twitter seem to co-opt their use of multiple parentheses. | |
| It looks like the good guys stole that back from the evil bigots. | |
| Because they were just like, oh, we're using it as a dog whistle, and a bunch of people were just like, fuck it, we're just going to make it, like, I am Jewish, I'm just going to make it part of my fucking profile name, and the pro-boys had to be sad that they couldn't shoot those Jews the way they want to, and they frowned deeply. | |
| So US First Patriot says, what do you all feel is most effective against QAnon? | |
| Critical thinking. | |
| The passage of time. | |
| Because Q is so rooted in conservative bullshit, I feel like our generation is just going to have to struggle with | |
| it mightily. | |
| And then hopefully the generation after us just has to struggle with it mightily as conservative politics takes | |
| its last dying gasps and tries to ruin the world as much as possible in its violent death throes. | |
| And then two generations are removed from us. | |
| Finally, people have gotten their shit together enough where there will just be this bitter, angry, racist, | |
| conservative minority that has no power and no traction anywhere. | |
| And then over time, they'll just turn into what they've always wanted to be, a domestic terror group. | |
| Yes! | |
| Like, that's the thing. | |
| I just think about, like, someone younger than me who, like, literally grew up with George W. Bush being this dumbfuck moron who screwed everything up, And then Obama came in and fixed everything and was awesome. | |
| And then shitbag Trump got in. | |
| And I just imagine, like, how is that person ever not going to vote Democrat the rest of their lives? | |
| Like, how do you get indoctrinated into politics in your formative years by moron! | |
| Incredible guy! | |
| Moron times a million! | |
| And then you hit your 50s and you're like, you know what? | |
| That party that, like, fucking destroyed my teens and my 20s? | |
| I'm thinking I'm going to go back and give them another try. | |
| I'm going to give them another crack. | |
| Maybe they've changed their tune a little. | |
| I feel like this whole idea of the older you get, the more conservative you get, I just think that's bullshit. | |
| I don't think that's even remotely plausible. | |
| I can't imagine myself in 30 years, being in my 70s, being like, you know, I'm going to give the other side a crack now. | |
| Like even myself who lived like I was older when all this shit happened even me I'm like kind of scarred by W and Trump and I'm kind of like wistful for like Obama and stuff so it's just like I just don't see People coming in and younger people are just more tolerant. | |
| They're less racist. | |
| They're less religious. | |
| Well, yeah, a big part of that is like the internet, right? | |
| I mean the internet like in some ways it's this double-edged sword because obviously it's giving Q like this platform to reach out to like bitter angry white people that like you know feel like they are a victim even though they have all the power Literally in the world. | |
| And so it gives it it gives them a voice and it gives them a platform to congregate and to just like feed off of each other and become this like bitter echo chamber of racism and misogyny and you know anti-semitism and all that shit that we hate but like it's they're just they're very vocal like at a macro level the what the internet really does is it gives people the opportunity to experience other culture and to Self-educate about stuff that they might have never otherwise heard about. | |
| I mean, you know, 20, 30, 40 years ago, like, the picture of, like, fucking a liberal was this, like, fucking college-educated hippie, and it's just like, well, you know what getting a college education does? | |
| Like, sure, it gives you a degree, and it teaches you some shit about the field that you're going into, But it also exposes you to people that you would have never met in your fuckin' podunk town in Missouri or whatever. | |
| Like, you get out there, you experience other cultures, you meet other people, you have dialogues with, you know, people that have different religious beliefs than you, or different skin color than you, come from a different background than you. | |
| And the internet just lets everybody do that. | |
| Like, you can just go on Twitter right now and, like, talk to somebody in Africa, talk to somebody in Asia. | |
| Like, you can figure out, hey, the world is a lot bigger than this white little pocket dimension I grew up in, and over time, that can't help but erode conservative politics. | |
| I mean, if you look back in the history of the world, like, it's pretty obvious that just, like, as time passes, Most places just become more liberal as they become more integrated into society. | |
| Right. | |
| I mean, it's just, you get to find out that, like, all these people you've heard all these terrible things about, it's not true. | |
| That all these, every religion, they're not all monsters, they're not bad people, they just believe in a different faith. | |
| That people that have different skin colors, they're not monsters. | |
| Secular orientation, they're not monsters. | |
| You just find out that people are fucking people. | |
| That's all it is. | |
| There's people. | |
| And we're all just trying to muddle our way through our lives and like transgendered people would just like to go to the right bathroom so they can like fucking not have to hold their piss in all day. | |
| And just all of these really basic human things and Like one of the things that kind of blows my mind is you think about like the civil rights movement in America when it comes to blacks and equal treatment under the law and how after slavery we had to fight for like a hundred goddamn years for the Civil Rights Act to be passed in 1964 and even then not a lot got like not everything got solved and we're still fighting for that kind of equality but you parallel that to the fight for gay marriage and instead of it being this like 150 year struggle within like 15 years America was like | |
| Well, we didn't want gay people to get married because we were weird with it, but then we figured out that it was dumb to be weird with it. | |
| Why not let gay people marry? | |
| And it's just like, man, that was such a smoother ride on that issue than it was previously where the Supreme Court had to, like, wait a hundred years to be, yeah, white people can marry black people. | |
| What the fuck is wrong with you idiots? | |
| I mean, Loving vs. Virginia took a long time further Than Ogafell did for the gay marriage rights. | |
| I mean, it's just ridiculous. | |
| Yeah, it's just like, it kind of circles back to the point we made when we were ranting about the Electoral College at the top of the show. | |
| It's just like, it turns out that the places where people want to live, where cultures intersect, are liberal. | |
| I mean, California, New York, like, the places where almost all of the population is in our country, We are incredibly blue. | |
| You don't have some sort of like a giant metropolis of conservatism, because it just turns out that all it takes for people to finally see the light is time and exposure. | |
| And it sucks because time is a sort of, you can't rush time, right? | |
| Right. | |
| We're just gonna have to fight the fight against Q the best we can with the tools at our disposal, | |
| namely the internet, and just being angry and not backing down, like, in the face of | |
| this like, you know, conservative upswell or whatever. | |
| But it can't be rushed, and that doesn't mean that the fight isn't worth fighting, like, | |
| you know, we're doing our thing by just talking into a can and just being angry on the internet. | |
| There are people out there doing much better work than us. | |
| Even within our group, Mike is a much better fighter for the cause than I am, certainly, and probably Sarge is. | |
| But just because the fight probably isn't going to be won in our lifetime doesn't mean that it's not worth participating in it. | |
| Right, exactly. | |
| But the real answer, and like the honest answer that I can give personally, is that the two greatest tools that we have to defeat Q and conservativism in like a larger context is time and connectivity, which currently means the internet. | |
| Time plus internet equals liberal. | |
| Bam. | |
| That is incredibly well spoken. | |
| One of my favorite quotes, Mark Twain said, travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness. | |
| We can't really travel right now, but his point remains the same. | |
| Absolutely. | |
| I was thinking of, like, I couldn't remember that exact quote, and then when you started saying it, I'm like, YES! | |
| He's gonna say it! | |
| Thank you! | |
| Sarge nailing it! | |
| So, it's just, yeah, that was something. | |
| I remember Twain said something about travel kills racism, and I didn't exactly know how it was stated, but yeah, that was, that's exactly the right thing to say. | |
| A person whose name I guess is CheckZeroList10 says, yeah, WTF, you get your Crackerjack journo certs and a link to CJR, which is some sort of press monitoring service. | |
| I'm very confused. | |
| I have no idea what they're trying to say with that question. | |
| I don't know what they're saying, I don't know what you're saying. | |
| Yeah, like, you're getting to read it, and you don't know what they're saying. | |
| We had to hear you read it out loud, which made it even impossible to understand. | |
| Yeah, great. | |
| So, hard pass. | |
| Well, I mean, like, if you're listening, whoever sent in that question, if that was, like, some real important thing, you're probably just going to have to explain it to Mike, because we have no idea what we're talking about. | |
| We have no idea what you're talking about, but we would be happy to engage with you if we did. | |
| Yeah, I got my... When I hear the word Cracker Jack, I think of a candy from the 1940s. | |
| Right, me too. | |
| I was literally thinking I got adrenaline... I think of getting the popcorn ready. | |
| Yes, exactly! | |
| I mean, at the end of this podcast, we're really in the rhythm. | |
| At the end of this podcast, we're bringing it all back around. | |
| And finally, Special Agent Dale Cooper, who I love that name, says, do you think Epstein donkey-fucked Trump and that's why he has to wear that rat on his head? | |
| No comment. | |
| I mean, I think that $70,000 a year is a lot for a rat. | |
| So I think that talking shit about Donald Trump's hair in that fashion is underselling the gravity of the situation. | |
| Which is to say that whatever's going on with that man's hair, stupid though it looks, it costs a lot of fucking money. | |
| It costs way more money than most Trump supporters make in a year to upkeep that dumb fucking hair. | |
| As for Epstein, the only thing I know about the guy is he was a pederast that probably got killed in prison. | |
| That's as close to a conspiracy theory as I'm willing to engage with willingly, but yeah, there's that. | |
| There's my piece on Epstein. | |
| I don't think he committed suicide, or if he did, it was that sort of suicide where your lawyer shows up and like hands you like a cake with a gun in it, and it's just like, I'm not telling you what to do with this gun with a single bullet in it, but... I think he was... I think he was allowed to suicide himself. | |
| Yeah, that's what I'm getting at. | |
| Like, I don't think some, like, Black Ops Marines actually went in there and put a bullet in his head, but I think... People just fucked off while he hung himself. | |
| Yeah, I don't think the memes of Hillary Clinton Mission Impossible-ing into his cell to garret him are accurate, but I just think that the whole... | |
| The whole thing was just dumb shit that he did. | |
| Are they coming for you? | |
| Are you being abducted right now? | |
| Not quite. | |
| No, not quite. | |
| I'm going to break that thing into a thousand pieces next week so you don't have to worry about it. | |
| I cannot believe what's fucking happening. | |
| Thank God it was the end of the podcast too. | |
| Yeah, so... I thought this was the answer to the question that that person was hoping for, but it really sounded like that question was more just, like, dunking on Trump. | |
| I didn't know when and if we were ever going to get to talk about Epstein, and, you know, I feel like I needed to give the listeners a little bit. | |
| It's just like, hey guys, I'm not completely unwilling to play ball in the conspiracy theory pool. | |
| Like, you know, Epstein killed himself in prison and it was totally legit? | |
| I don't know if I'd buy that. | |
| So guess what? | |
| L, he's just like you. | |
| Yeah I agree that like basically um Epstein committing suicide like I think that it's very likely that either A he saw there was no way out and he did it or B it was made known to him that it would be good for all the people that were part of his group if he did do that and I don't think that anyone in power shed any tears over his death and I think that's the main reason why it was such a powerful Uh conspiracy theory when it happened that like hashtag Epstein didn't kill himself it was like so obvious because like obviously he didn't kill himself because the clintons wanted him to shut up the trump wanted him to shut up everyone wanted him to shut up so i feel like everyone's spidey sense tingling there made sense um but at the same time i don't think that like i think that like he died by his own hand but was that like a wink and a nod to do it possibly absolutely | |
| Yeah, I mean, it just seems pretty likely that at some point, like, he either came to the conclusion or was told that the conclusion was going to be, hey man, you're involved with a lot of powerful people, and you going down is going to cause a heap of big trouble for you in prison, probably beyond just being convicted for pettery. | |
| And, you know, so, you do you, boo, but me and the guards are going to go take a smoke break between exactly 4.08 and 4.12pm today. | |
| and you do with that information what you want to. | |
| Right. Yeah. | |
| But as for Trump's stupid hair, like, the American people should be disgusted | |
| that we're paying $70,000 a year for that shit. | |
| Yes, absolutely. | |
| Can you imagine paying $70,000 annually to get something to look like that? | |
| Like, I would rather than just invest that money into a Daft Punk-style helmet for Trump to wear. | |
| Right, exactly. | |
| Because with $70,000 a year going into a helmet, that's one hell of a Daft Punk helmet. | |
| I think that's what we need. | |
| That's what America deserves. | |
| I just love the idea, and also that fucking Boris Johnson cat looked at Donald Trump's 70k a year hair and was just like, that hair is fucking incredible. | |
| I need that hair. | |
| The thing is with Boris, it's like a gimmick. | |
| He's like the whimsical fob who has the wacky hair. | |
| He leans into it with that dumb shit. | |
| That's his whole thing. | |
| He's just this upper class British shitbag Who knows that, like, literally he can get away with being a terrible person as long as he has dumb hair. | |
| Because people just see the dumb hair and they're like, oh, how bad can he be? | |
| Look at how dumb the hair is! | |
| Was he elected after Trump? | |
| I don't know that timeline. | |
| Yeah, basically. | |
| Can you imagine, like, if you're in the UK, you must be furious, right? | |
| Like, Donald Trump gets elected in America, and you're just sitting there, like, | |
| just watching America start to burn, and then your country decides to elect, like, die at Trump. | |
| And it's like, God damn it, how is this possible? | |
| How are we getting zero-cal Trump? | |
| Yes. | |
| Oh, God, yeah, it's really fucking crazy that, like, Britain saw what we had and said, | |
| order one for me, please. | |
| And we were like, we only have the diet one available. | |
| We're like, fine, no problem, we got it. | |
| Just ship it in. | |
| Ship it in here, big boy. | |
| Oh god. | |
| Yeah, well at least it's not just a mess in America. | |
| I mean, America is a huge fucking mess, but that is not exclusive to our country currently. | |
| But the one funny thing about it was, as we said at the top of the show, was that, like, or I said before about the Democratic leaders, is that, like, there is, when Brexit happened, basically the last election, because Britain just has all these elections, like, happening constantly, the last election, like, basically Johnson campaigned on, I'm gonna ram Brexit through and it's gonna fucking happen, and his opponent was just, like, Brexit? | |
| I don't really have an opinion on it! | |
| Because he was secretly in favor of it, but he knew Johnson was gonna fuck it up. | |
| But he didn't want to, like, really, like, put himself out there, as it were. | |
| So the British people were like, well, one guy's gonna fucking do Brexit, and the other guy, we don't know what he wants to do, so fuck him! | |
| So Johnson wanted a landslide. | |
| And QAnon was like, Brexit! | |
| Johnson's a patriot fighting the globalists, because the European Union is globalist, and Johnson is good, and now Britain's dealing with COVID, and Johnson's like, okay, we're gonna have to crack down on the COVID now in order to fucking get Britain healthy and fucking fix this shit, and QAnon's like, you fucking traitor! | |
| Like, we're all supposed to breathe the virus and love it! | |
| What the fuck? | |
| And it's just so funny that, like, That's how you betray QAnon is by trying to not have people die of COVID. | |
| It's just like Boris Johnson was literally the only democratic elected leader on earth that they loved and now they hate him because he's a little too serious about trying to get COVID cases down in the United Kingdom. | |
| Well, you know, I said it on Twitter and I'll say it here, like, I wish that there was a way for all these conservatives to get exactly what they want when it comes to COVID without endangering the lives of sensible people. | |
| Because what they want is a virus that will kill a lot of them. | |
| Yeah, it's so dumb. | |
| And it's just like, that is not me wishing death on them specifically, that is me just being like, if it were possible for the rest of the world to just be like, conservatives can do whatever the fuck they want with COVID, and they chose to fuck with COVID, and then it killed them, that would be on them. | |
| Right, it's like the 75% of Americans who said that Trump got COVID because he fucked around and found out. | |
| I mean, it's that. | |
| He got that dirty dick, and now half of the country is laughing at him. | |
| Well, probably more than half of the country. | |
| And the rest of the people are praising him for getting that dick dirty. | |
| And it's just like, come on, man. | |
| Yeah, exactly. | |
| It's just like the election. | |
| It moved on him. | |
| COVID was so famous, it moved on him. | |
| Just grabbed him by the pussy. | |
| Yeah, when a virus is famous, he lets you do that to him. | |
| Exactly. | |
| That seems like as good a note as any to go out on. | |
| Right. | |
| You want to run those links by people one more time? | |
| Yeah, so again, patreon.com slash pokerinpolitics to give us clowns money. | |
| Love146, those are numbers.org to give actual people fighting actual human trafficking money. | |
| ActBlue to give Democrats who are trying to save the world money. | |
| If you have money and you can give it to somebody, give it to somebody to help this thing work out better for everyone. | |
| And if not, or even if you're giving money, you can do your part by just voting blue. | |
| Vote blue. | |
| Yes. | |
| No excuses. | |
| None. | |
| Vote. | |
| Vote. | |
| Vote blue. | |
| Today is the last day to register to vote in Florida, so if you haven't registered to vote in Florida, do so ASAP. | |
| A number of states are coming up real quick. | |
| So register, vote, and vote. | |
| Yeah, and also, if your state allows early voting right now, go vote! | |
| Go do that, because most states are going to be having that by the 19th. | |
| So yeah, get rolling. | |
| Do your part. | |
| Push the rock up the hill. | |
| Get Republicans and Trump out of power. | |
| Save the world. | |
| Those are good things to do, so do them. | |
| So for me, Mike Rains, the Sargent L, we will be signing off for this week's episode. | |
| Have a good one, everybody, and stay safe. | |
| And Mike, don't forget our new catchphrase. | |
| I will not forget it, sir. | |
| All right, so since we're still new to the catchphrase, we've adopted it from Q. So on the count of three, we're all going to say it. | |
| It's not going to be organic this time, but we'll get into the rhythm of it. | |
| All right, everybody? | |
| So three, two, one. | |
| Good speed, Patriots! |