I ask contestant Norma some questions about QAnon. It ends poorly. Get bonus content on PatreonSupport this show http://supporter.acast.com/hellwqrld. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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| Hello everyone, Poker and Politics here with the season premiere of Who Wants to be a Quillionaire? | |
| This is the game show where I ask a totally normal person who has not had their brain poisoned by this madness questions about QAnon, and then watch the light in their eyes die as they hear about the terrible things these lunatics believe in. | |
| Our contestant this week is Norma. | |
| Hi. | |
| She's taking this very well, as you can tell. | |
| So simply put, what we're going to do here is I'm going to ask multiple-choice questions to her, and she is going to give me an answer, and we're going to see if she's right or not. | |
| And after a series of questions, eventually she will probably run screaming from the place, and that'll be that, because it's QAnon. | |
| So, very well. | |
| The first question is, supposedly there is a video of a terrible crime called Frazzledrip. | |
| Who are the stars of Frazzledrip? | |
| A. Bill and Hillary Clinton, B. | |
| Hillary Clinton and Huma Abedin, C. John and Tony Podesta, or D. Kermit and Miss Piggy? | |
| D. Kermit and Miss Piggy. That is bold but also wrong. | |
| The correct answer is B, Hillary Clinton and Huma Abedin, who allegedly, on this video, flay the face off of a small child, then drink her blood after killing her. | |
| And this is a core tenet of QAnon. | |
| They really believe that this video exists. | |
| And is on Anthony Weiner's laptop and will one day be revealed to the world to finally usher in an era of truth and peace where we murder Hillary Clinton, obviously. | |
| Obviously. | |
| That's what you do in these situations. | |
| You gotta kill that lady. | |
| So, now they drank her blood, which leads to question two. | |
| What is the chemical they get from drinking blood of children? | |
| A. Nectar, B. Ambrosia, C. Adrenochrome, or D. | |
| The mysterious drug. | |
| B. B, nectar? | |
| No. | |
| It is C, adrenochrome. | |
| Adrenochrome is a joke from Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas. | |
| Have you ever seen that movie with Johnny Depp? | |
| Yes. | |
| So what happened in that movie is Hunter S. Thompson talks about doing adrenochrome and he takes some adrenochrome and he starts drinking it and he's like, oh this is great, I'm getting so screwed up. | |
| And then people started imagining this nonsense where they had Adrenochrome as an actual plot point in television shows and movies and stuff like that. | |
| Dr. Phil just did an episode about it, which is great. | |
| We need to expose more people to this stupidity. | |
| And in reality, Adrenochrome is something you can buy on the internet for $55. | |
| It does nothing but help clot blood slightly more effectively. | |
| The word chrome and adrenochrome is just adrenaline that is oxidized. | |
| You know what an EpiPen is? | |
| Yeah. | |
| If you take an EpiPen and expose it to the air, what you get is adrenochrome. | |
| That's what the actual drug is. | |
| But these people seriously believe that there is this child harvesting operation to obtain this drug from these children. | |
| Question three. | |
| Which initial based president is Donald Trump carrying on the legacy of? | |
| A. JFK B. FDR C. LBJ or D. George W. Bush? | |
| D. D is someone they hate an awful lot. | |
| You would think that it would be George W. Bush because they're both Republicans, they both love tax cuts, they both love 99% of the same policy ideas. | |
| But in reality, QAnon hates George W. Bush because they think that he did 9-11 and all kinds of stuff like that. | |
| They love JFK, which makes no sense because JFK was a liberal Democrat who was for all kinds of crazy things. | |
| Why do you think they're in favor of JFK? | |
| Personal? Charismatic? | |
| Those are two great answers. | |
| The real answer is he got shot. | |
| And you see, In their world, he wasn't just killed by some nut with a gun. | |
| He was killed by the same bad people that hate Trump. | |
| And if the bad people killed JFK and the bad people hate Trump, then Trump has to be a good guy working to fight the bad people in JFK's honor. | |
| Okay. | |
| I guess that makes sense. | |
| Oh, if only this was a video podcast. | |
| The look on your face is priceless at this moment. | |
| When did Q say that Hillary would be arrested? | |
| Was it October 30th, 2017, January 7th, 2018, November 23rd, 2018, or November 4th, 2020? | |
| D. D? | |
| It's A. Literally, Q said this was all going to happen three years ago. | |
| He said that Hillary's passport was going to be flagged, that she was going to be arrested very quickly, that her cohorts, John Podesta and Huma Aberdeen, were going to be arrested very quickly. | |
| And none of that happened, because Q's lying about everything they've ever said. | |
| Not surprised. | |
| What disgraced former member of the Trump administration that Trump has openly and aggressively stated that he hates is still revered by QAnon as a hero? | |
| Is it Anthony Scaramucci A. B. Jeff Sessions C. Big Dick Toilet Salesman aka Acting Attorney General Whitaker or D. Omarosa? | |
| A. No, it's not the Mooch, sadly. | |
| It was B, Jeff Sessions. | |
| At the start of QAnon, because Sessions was one of, it was his Attorney General, Q was very aggressive about, Sessions is great, he's a good guy, we love Sessions, and even though Trump has literally done everything but said that he would run over Jeff Sessions and then back over him to make sure he killed him. | |
| It is, but this is our President. | |
| Our President is an aggressive guy. | |
| I mean, one could say that about him. | |
| I'd definitely say that. | |
| He doesn't play things tight to the vest. | |
| He's open-minded. | |
| He speaks his mind. | |
| He's very passionate about his hatred, as it were. | |
| He's not a shrinking violet. | |
| I guess one can equate passion to that. | |
| You have other terms for it? | |
| Yeah, I like passionate. | |
| I don't like it being equated to Trump's hatred for everything, but okay. | |
| Okay, I'm glad that you have given me the benefit of the doubt on this one. | |
| I much appreciate that. | |
| What dumb mistake has Q not made recently? | |
| A. Misunderstood how the California Republican primary was going to work out. | |
| B, thought that a parody website about cannibalism was real. | |
| C, thought that an MSNBC video clip that purported to show World War Z instead of real footage was out there. | |
| Or D, posted fake Trump tweets repeatedly as Q-drops. | |
| It is D. Q has been a colossal moron recently, where they have ineptly gotten literally everything wrong. | |
| They are bumbling chuckle fucks of the highest order. | |
| That's a good word. | |
| Yes. | |
| I appreciate that you enjoy my good wordery, as it were. | |
| What idea is controversial in QAnon? | |
| A. Michelle Obama is a man. | |
| B. Barack Obama was born in Kenya. | |
| C. Barack Obama is gay. | |
| D. JFK Jr. | |
| is dead. | |
| B? | |
| Sadly, no. | |
| It is D. JFK Jr. | |
| being dead. | |
| Wait, did you seriously? | |
| A shadow contestant has appeared out of the swirling ether and is now running away from us as we speak. | |
| And the shadow contestant declared that they got this question right. | |
| And I take them at their word because they probably have heard our Another person in our building who we like to call the crazy man probably told him these things back in the day. | |
| But the thing is, is that... You are the crazy man, but yeah. | |
| Yeah. | |
| Basically, all of QAnon believes that Michelle Obama is a man. | |
| They all believe that Obama was born in Kenya. | |
| They all believe that he is gay. | |
| However, JFK Jr. | |
| being dead or alive is an incredibly controversial thing to these people. | |
| It is passionate. | |
| Because that's so explainable. | |
| over whether or not a man who died about 20 years ago is actually secretly still alive. | |
| There are many groups in QAnon who thought that JFK Jr. was going to be Trump's running mate in 2020, | |
| that he was going to dump Mike Pence and JFK Jr. would become his vice presidential nominee. | |
| Because that's so explainable. | |
| Yes, exactly. It very much is. | |
| Uh-huh. | |
| So if you were to search the right sections of the interwebs, you could find yourself delightful photos of Trump, JFK Jr., | |
| 2020. | |
| 2020 signs to just let you know what America has fallen to in our trying times, as it were. | |
| What event does Q state happened as it was told in the mainstream media, or at least as presented by the mainstream media? | |
| At least this part of it is accurate. | |
| A. The Titanic hit an iceberg. | |
| B. The Federal Reserve was created to stabilize our banking industry. | |
| C. Americans landed on the moon. | |
| Or D. | |
| 9-11 was actually committed by Al Qaeda. | |
| A. A is not correct. | |
| The Titanic was an act of terrorism. | |
| The Federal Reserve was Illuminati control of America. | |
| Obviously 9-11 was done by Bush and other people. | |
| That was an inside job. | |
| I gave you on that one for free, as it were. | |
| We did land on the moon, according to Q. He may be claiming that we landed on the moon with alternative technologies and other ways than what we were told, but it is true that America did make it to the moon at one point. | |
| Well, that's good to know. | |
| Isn't it reassuring? | |
| Doesn't it make you feel better? | |
| At the very least, you and the Totally Insane People can agree that we have gone to the moon, and for the record, some of them don't think we have. | |
| Even when Q tells them, yeah, we did go to the moon, they're like, nah, Q, I think you got this one wrong, buddy. | |
| And finally, the questions that I have prepared here. | |
| What is the occupation of the man who runs the website Cube Posts on? | |
| Is he A, an IT worker? | |
| Is he B, a day trader? | |
| Is he C, a pig farmer? | |
| Or is he D, a secondhand salesman of goods and other oddities and knickknacks? | |
| D. D? | |
| No, he's a pig farmer. | |
| C? | |
| So, you have scored a zero, which is unfortunate, but also incredibly predictable, because this is not the world you live in, which makes you a good, decent, and normal human being who has not had their... I'm not crazy? | |
| You're not crazy! | |
| That's good. | |
| It's a good thing. | |
| Are there any things that you wish to know about this madness? | |
| No, because it's straight-up lunatic. | |
| QAnon, it's straight-up lunatic. | |
| That is Norma's scathing condemnation of this movement that you, I, and my listeners have been engaging with for all this time. | |
| So that will wrap up the first ever exciting installment of Who Wants to be a Quillionaire? | |
| I thank you Norma for showing up here and allowing me to do this nonsense. | |
| It was hilarious to me watching you struggle with this horrible ineptitude and maybe this will happen again sometime soon. | |
| That is about as great a summation as I could possibly come up with for all of this. |