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April 19, 2020 - Adventures in HellwQrld
33:26
Democracy Vs QAnon and Secret Hitler Wombo Combo

I talk about how open elections make QAnon seem less then likely to be real and then at the 13:23 mark I shift over to tell all you cats and kittens how to play Secret Hitler. Get bonus content on PatreonSupport this show http://supporter.acast.com/hellwqrld. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Hello everyone, Poker and Politics here.
I'm going to do a quick podcast about the 2020 elections and democracy in general, disproving QAnon, and then do a secret Hitler tutorial.
I have no idea how long this is going to take, but we'll find out.
Anyhow, the 2020 primary season was ongoing, then coronavirus kind of pushed everything back, and we're gonna look to do a lot of vote-by-mail and blah blah blah.
So, it's an adventure, but the big thing is that QAnon They're running for office.
There's been over 20 different candidates who have an affinity for the QAnon conspiracy movement, who have thrown their hat in the ring to become an elected official in these glorious United States of America.
And they're not having a lot of luck.
They're not winning.
And this is interesting because you would think they would have a massive leg up on their opposition because they are not baby-eating Satanists who commit treason and worship Moloch.
And this is kind of the problem with QAnon.
is that being a baby-eating satanist who commits treason would probably be what we in the business would call an electoral liability.
It is hard to win an election if this is a known fact about you, and apparently it's a thing that everyone in elected office has against them as a strike.
If you run against an incumbent in America to win their And you're right!
This is an accurate statement that you're making.
Yet for some reason it's not working.
It's not toppling these people.
Which leads one to suppose that perhaps this is a baseless allegation.
This is an allegation being made without evidence.
And you would think that Q and Q-Team, being the world's greatest military intelligence operation the world has ever known, would be able to provide evidence to remove these bad people from office and replace them with good, honest, God-fearing QAnon supporters.
Yet this does not happen.
It is strange that this does not happen.
Now, one of the other big things about all of this is they will tell you that pretty much everyone is compromised.
So even if you run for office, If you have a chance of winning, they will tell you to eat a baby or start child sex trafficking or commit some other terrible crime against children in order to make sure that in case you do win, they'll have the blackmail file on you.
They'll have the ability to expose you as a monster.
And none of these QAnon supporters have yet to get that call.
None of them have been told by the powers that be that, look, you have a chance.
Not a great chance, but still a chance.
So we're not going to run that risk.
You're going to come by our house next weekend around 7 and we're going to grill a baby up and you're going to eat it.
And we're going to tape that.
So yeah, enjoy.
Get ready.
Bon Appetit.
So, it's very odd that these QAnon supporters are not being invited into the club of satanic baby eaters, as one does to every elected official in America above the rank of, say, dog catcher.
You would think that Laura Loomer and the other QAnon supporter in Florida probably might have got the call and been like, hey, you guys have a small chance, not a great chance to win this primary, so Yeah, we're going to get the baby eating going.
And it's, it's really, it's really confusing to me that this isn't happening.
That the massive conspiracy that should be very easy to unravel is not being unraveled by these diligent truth seekers who are backed by Q plus himself, Donald Trump.
Who obviously could extend the power of his massive intelligence operation to them at the snap of his fingers.
And give them access to all the intel they'd ever need to bring down their opponents.
You'd think he would do that for them, because he would like to win the House, he would like to win the Senate, he'd like to get re-elected, so it's time to start exposing the petivore ring that secretly rules our world.
You might want to get to that, Donnie.
The clock's running out, time's ticking.
We've got elections to win here, and it's time to red pill everyone and wake them up, and get ready to start showing people the truth.
And this is the nature of democracy in general, is that you're trying to win an election, and when you try to win an election, you fight dirty.
You hit people with everything you can.
It is a famous, perhaps apocryphal, story of Lyndon Johnson running against a farmer, and it is said that one day he wanted to call his opponent a pig fucker.
And his staff said, Lyndon, we can't call him a pig fucker.
And Johnson explained, well, we'll start a whisper campaign that he's a pig fucker.
We won't actually say it.
We'll just put it out there into the media via second and third party sources.
We just want to make him deny being a pig fucker.
That's all we want to do.
We just want to make him get in front of a camera and say, I don't fuck my pigs.
That is a vile slander, because as soon as he says that, people will think, hey, why is he denying he's a pig fucker?
He might fuck the pigs.
So you would think that the QAnon would at least be able to do that.
You would think at least one incumbent who's facing a QAnon lunatic Would have to get in front of the camera and say, look, I don't eat babies.
I don't know what you're talking about.
The baby eating thing is not true.
Leave me alone.
We haven't even gotten to that.
We haven't even gotten to the third party starting salacious scandalous rumors forcing a denial portion of the festivities.
So, it seems really confusing that this incredibly powerful movement has been unable to achieve these results, and they've been unable to achieve success.
So, I'm gobsmacked.
I'm flustered.
I'm bedazzled, as it were.
All kinds of things.
I have lots of adjectives to describe my feelings on this issue.
Because you would think when you have a slam dunk winner of an issue, like my opponent is a satanic cannibal, you'd bring that up.
You'd let people know about that.
And it would probably cost that person a few votes.
QAnon themselves are hilarious about this.
So many times I've seen people talk about how they can't arrest all the satanic pedophiles right now because it would be bad for optics and that Trump has to win re-election, then they can do it.
And I'm just imagining This idea that come the day after the election, Joe Biden has won a nail-biter as the new president-elect, and Nate Silver and all the other political talking heads are saying, you know, when Trump arrested the satanic pedophiles, it was probably the morally right thing to do, but he really alienated a good amount of the voting bloc of Pennsylvania and Florida.
And in the end, it cost him the presidency.
I mean, you gotta chalk one up for Trump that he did what was right for the country.
He put his own political interests second and did what was right to save the children from the satanic pedophiles, who apparently have a massive voting bloc in very important swing states.
And thus, Trump doesn't want to ruffle their feathers until after he's gone four more years.
Then he'll go for it.
So, that whole thing is just so bizarre.
It's such a weird, alien idea.
And if you think about it, it just shows how ridiculous these people are, how absolutely absurd it is that they believe what they believe, because there's really nothing to it.
If they had the evidence of these crimes, these people would not be in office.
They'd be in jail.
Everyone around them would be discredited.
Everyone around them would also probably be in jail, or it wouldn't be allowed in polite society.
The whole QAnon Slogan, it won't be safe for them to walk down the street.
It would be true.
And this is where in order to create the conspiracy, you have to make the conspiracy so huge.
That it makes no sense because not only does the elected official have to be a baby-eating satanist, their opponents have to be baby-eating satanists, the media covering them have to be baby-eating satanists, law enforcement has to never snip around so they have to be baby-eating satanists, literally everyone has to be in on it.
And that's the really dystopian hell world that QAnon has created where The conspiracy is so massive, so overwhelming, so absolute, that you really can't find anyone who's not a part of it in some way, shape, or form.
Because otherwise, the conspiracy would be exposed just due to complete self-interest.
I mean, if you're John McCain, or you're Mitt Romney, and you're down in the polls, and it's the last week before the election, and Barack Obama is going to just dunk on you, he's going to win re-election or win election easily.
What stops you from saying, hey, by the way, everybody, he's from Kenya.
He was born in Kenya.
It is illegal for him to be president.
He's a Muslim.
He is gay.
His wife is transgender.
His children are adopted.
Everything about him is fraudulent and a lie.
His parents aren't his parents.
And yeah, there you go.
Boom.
Nailed it.
Now I'm going to be president.
What stopped them from doing this?
What stopped them from exposing the truth?
And everyone's like, oh, they're part of the Illuminati.
They're all in the group together.
Yeah, but they want to be president, don't they?
I mean, this is where you have to pretend that every election in the history of America, except for Donald Trump's, was kabuki theater, where the person that was going to lose knew they were going to lose and took a dive.
And then, in order for that to make sense, you have to further extrapolate out from there that everyone that ran against that guy that was going to take a dive in the general election was taking a dive in the primary.
So everyone who ran for the Republican nomination in 2008 and 2012 all got the phone call and
they were all told ahead of time that you are going to lose, that there's nothing you
can do to win and you're not allowed to expose all of Barack Obama's endless secrets that
are completely disqualifying from office, the fact that his entire personal life is
a lie on every imaginable level and that he's not even legally allowed to be president.
You're not allowed to touch any of it.
You have to just bite your tongue, sit down and just lose.
You're not allowed to go any further than you are.
And so this means that all of these people who, many of whom QAnon views as like complete sociopaths between McCain, who they hate, Romney, who they now hate, they hate Hillary Clinton, they hate all these people.
And all these people, not a single one of them decided to buck the company line and just stop Obama from becoming president.
When Obama was the biggest fraud in the history of the world, and any one of a million scandals could have just toppled him like a house of cards.
So you have to believe this kind of insanity in order to believe what QAnon is promoting and preaching, which is ridiculous.
So that's kind of my whole thing about how democracy really makes QAnon hard to acknowledge as being real or trustworthy.
And then, so, we will now do the pivot to the Secret Hitler Tutorial.
And if you don't want to play the game, click off now.
Catch you later.
No harm, no foul.
If you do want to try out the game, and you want to get involved in my game, I'm going to be running tomorrow night, or tonight as it works, since you're probably listening to this on Sunday, 7 p.m.
Eastern.
I'm going to try to start a game up.
I want to get seven players, so six people plus myself.
It's a very fun game.
It is a hidden information game.
Some people have brought up Mafia Werewolf, and if you don't know what that is, Mafia Werewolf is a very simple game where usually it's played with ten people, and seven of you are what are called townsfolk, and three of you are werewolves.
And it's a game with no information, and basically what happens is a game master says, everyone bow your heads, it's night number one, and then the werewolves lift their heads up, they point at us townsfolk, And then everyone puts their heads down again, and then the Game Master says, well, Townsfolk number seven, Steve, you got eaten by the werewolves last night.
Tough break.
And then everyone starts arguing with each other, and they try to figure out who the werewolves are entirely through body language, questioning, just interrogation, basically.
And if the Townsfolk feel confident enough about someone being a werewolf, they pick someone and they Hold a trial, and that person begs their innocence, and then the town votes to hang them, or to acquit them.
And if they hang them, they find out if they accidentally hung a town's member, which further depletes their ranks, or if they hung a werewolf, and now they're that much closer to winning.
And the game resolves when either all the werewolves are dead or the werewolves have
achieved parity with the townsfolk, so therefore the townsfolk cannot win a conviction on any
vote.
Because there's three townsfolk and three werewolves left.
Well, actually, yeah, the werewolves have to be one up.
That's right.
If the werewolves get to be slightly...
Actually, no.
The werewolves would just block a trial.
That's right.
I'm...
Yeah.
So once the werewolves get to parity, they block any trial, they block any conviction
of a werewolf, and then they just eat all the humans and they win the game.
So that's Werewolf Vampire.
Or Werewolf Mafia, as they call it.
Because you can either play with the bad guys being mafioso's or they're werewolves.
Those are the names of the games.
Secret Hitler is a slightly... a slight twist on that.
So the way we play the game is usually, again, seven players, and you're gonna have four liberals who know nothing, as typical liberals do, and the four liberals are flying blind.
They have no information.
They just gotta try to figure out what's going on.
Then you're gonna have two regular fascists who have perfect information of the game.
They know who all the liberals are, they know each other, and they know who Hitler is.
And then the last person in the game is Hitler.
Hitler is much like a liberal, and he's also flying blind.
He, however, does know that he's got two secret agents working in the government for him, and he's a reverse liberal in that sense.
He's trying to figure out who the bad guys are that are on his team.
Now, the way the mechanics of the game works, instead of everyone bowing their heads and someone getting eaten, we have what are called governments.
And so, you have seven players, and when you play online, you have player number one through player number seven.
Player number one will be the first president of the game.
The president then picks another player to be their chancellor.
And everyone at the table agrees or disagrees to allow them to become the government.
And at the start of the game you let everyone play a government because you need information, you need to see how people do when they are elected to power.
So you are given the option of voting ja or yes or nein or no for the government.
And the first couple governments are going to pass because, again, everyone needs information.
So you have the Player 1 and Player X President-Chancellor Partnership as the government.
Once that is achieved, Player 1 will draw 3 cards off of a deck.
The deck contains 17 cards, 11 red fascist cards, and 6 blue liberal cards.
The President will then discard one of these cards face down, throwing it away, and no one gets to see it.
And the President will then hand the remaining two cards to the Chancellor.
The Chancellor will then play one of those cards onto the board of that color, the liberal board or the fascist board, and then discard the other one face down and no one gets to see it.
Now, if the Chancellor plays a blue card, everyone will pretend to be happy.
If the Chancellor plays a red card, everyone will pretend to be mad.
Now, if a blue card goes down, The table will ask, there'll be an interrogation by the table of the government afterwards, kind of an audit of the government afterwards, to try to get to the truth and veracity of what happened.
And they'll say, yo, President, what were the three cards you saw?
What was the combination of colors?
And generally speaking for the liberals, What they want the President to say is that they got two red and one blue, they discarded a red, then they handed a red and a blue to the Chancellor, and the Chancellor played a blue.
Because again, the deck is 11 red and 6 blue, and so the blue cards are rare and precious.
You don't want them to be wasted.
Now, if the President says he got two blue and a red, that sucks because one of those blue cards is now out of the game for the time being until the deck gets reshuffled.
And now he might decide to test the Chancellor.
He might discard one of those blue cards and give the Chancellor a red and a blue card to see if the Chancellor is honest and a liberal.
Or they might play the red card and expose themselves as a fascist.
Or the President might just say, look, I want to play a blue card.
I want to get a blue card down on the table to help win the game.
I'm just going to force him two blues and make him play it.
I myself, personally, am on the Force Blue strategy, because you only need five blue cards to win the game.
So, I think getting the Liberals 20% closer to victory than they were a minute ago is better, but Secret Hitler, much like any other hidden information game, is an art, it's a science, and if you think getting a read on somebody is important enough that you're willing to risk it, then God bless you.
Go for it.
So, if a blue card gets played, the interrogation is mostly about the context of the colors.
Was there a lot of blue?
Was there only one blue?
It's just like card counting in blackjack, because at the end of the first deck, There's going to be five governments, and there's 17 cards, which means that two cards are not going to be seen.
So at the end of that first deck, it's possible, not likely, that two blue cards were on the bottom of that deck that were undetectable.
It could have been a really bad unlucky deck for the Liberals, but at the same time, probably you're going to see five blue cards.
You might even see six blue cards in that first deck, and keeping track of the number of blue cards left in the deck is very important for the Liberals, because it gives them a sense of who's lying and who's not lying.
But anyways, the more important thing is If a red card goes down, ooh, now the government has to answer some questions about how that happened.
And there's basically two things that will happen as a result of this, which is, one, the president will fall on their sword.
The president will tell everybody that they drew three red cards off the top of the deck.
Again, the deck's 11 red and six blue, so it's possible that you can draw three red cards.
Tough break.
Or it could be later in the game and the deck's low on blue cards and you just draw the three red.
Again, tough break.
So, it's very possible the President will fall on their sword.
The President will say, I got three red cards.
Tough break.
By the same token, the other thing that can happen is the President and the Chancellor will get into an argument because no one is going to admit they are a fascist without throwing the game.
It is a poor form to declare yourself to be a fascist.
You're hurting your team if you do this.
So if a red card goes down and the President says, hey, I gave the Chancellor a blue card and he didn't play it, the Chancellor is going to turn around and say, fuck you, you did not give me a blue card, you gave me two red cards.
You piece of shit.
And therein lies the drama and intrigue of Secret Hitler, is that when these fights happen, the other players have to try to figure out which one of these guys is full of shit, which one of them is telling the truth, and which one of them is lying.
And so, you've got to make deductive reasoning, you've got to make reads, you've got to figure out what's going on.
Now, beyond that, how you win the game should probably be an important thing we'll explain right now.
So the liberals win the game the vast majority of the time by playing five blue cards.
You get five blue cards down on the board, boom, game's over, liberals triumph.
The fascists win the game the vast majority of the time by getting the game to what we call the Hitler Zone and then getting Hitler elected Chancellor in the Hitler Zone.
When you play the game, you're going to see that the fascist board has a light red section and a dark red section.
When three or more fascist policy cards are played onto the fascist board, it covers up the light red section and you only see the dark red.
When the game is in the dark red, that means that if Hitler becomes the Chancellor, the fascists win the game immediately.
So a player must pick Hitler to be their chancellor, unwittingly as a liberal or full of knowledge of what they're doing as a fascist.
They pick Hitler.
We have a vote.
The vote goes through and the government is approved.
And when that happens, Hitler reveals themselves and the fascists all high five and celebrate.
So that is the main vehicle to victory for the fascists.
Now the important thing to note here is that Hitler being elected Chancellor is their main win condition.
In general, besides that, being the Chancellor is far weaker than being the President.
The President gets all the perks and benefits that the game gives to the people in power.
So everything else is pretty much President-based.
Now there's one other way for both sides to win.
And I will go into that right now.
The liberals can also win by killing Hitler.
Now, shooting Hitler involves getting a lot of red cards on the board, which is not good for the liberals, but this is kind of a backdoor way to escape trouble.
If the fourth or fifth red card is played, the president gets to shoot somebody, and that person is knocked out of the game.
Permanently.
And if that person who is knocked out of the game is Hitler, the fascists lose immediately and the liberals triumph.
So if you are a liberal and either you draw three red cards because you get bad luck or your chancellor gets into a conflict with you and plays a red card when you want them to play a blue one, you now have the option of killing somebody and you have to make a decision.
Now, You will notice in that second option that the person who betrayed you is obviously a fascist and that you can execute a fascist immediately.
But you will also notice that I told you that they were your chancellor in that government and this government would be in the Hitler zone.
So while you are killing a known fascist, to you anyways at the very least, You are not going to kill Hitler if you kill that person.
So you have to make the decision if you want the sure thing of just killing a bad person, or if you want to go for the high-risk, high-reward play of trying to actually pick out Hitler and kill him.
The other problem is that if you kill that person, the other people at the table might think that you were the fascist, and that you just killed that person because you're a jerk.
So, yeah, kind of deal with that reputation hit, as it were.
Now, the fascists can also win by getting six red cards down on the board.
That's very tough for them to do, generally speaking, although if the fascists were the ones to get control of the ability to shoot people, the fascists can just start shooting liberals all willy-nilly, and then they can eventually get to a majority where they have more fascists than liberals because they kill enough liberals, and then they can just force the red cards onto the table and win the game that way.
The other way they can do that is by what's called blocking governments.
The game has a mechanic where you just can't keep failing governments, because if you fail, if people vote down a government, if I pick someone to be my chancellor and everyone says, no, we're not going to let poker and politics pick that guy to be his chancellor, they can go to hell.
And then the next government fails, and the next government fails.
If people will not let a government pass, after three failed governments, the top card of the deck rolls over.
And it just gets played.
And again, since that gets heavily read, this benefits fascists, and it puts pressure
on the liberals to find a government they can agree to and will sign off on.
And that's a little, it sounds trickier than it really is.
You'll understand it once you play.
But that's the only way the fascists can win.
And the only other thing that can really happen mechanics-wise is the president gets other powers.
One power is, if a red card goes down, again if they get into a conflict or they get three red cards, the president can investigate another player.
And this means that they get to look at the party identification card of that person.
And the card will tell the president if that person is a liberal or a fascist.
Now, the problem is, is only the president gets to see that card, and everyone else has to take the president's word for it.
The president could be a fascist, looking at Hitler's identity card and says, oh, Hitler is totally a liberal.
You need to trust us, guys.
We're both liberals.
We're totally on your side.
Or the president could look at someone's badge and say, Hey, everyone, that guy's totally a fascist.
And that guy will, of course, immediately scream, no I'm not.
The President's a piece of shit.
He's the fucking fascist.
And so the argument begins.
So you have that to deal with.
And the final power that the President gets is what's called the Special Election.
Because normally the Presidency just goes from Player 1 to Player 2 to Player 3 and on and on and on.
The special election, the current president gets to pick somebody else to be the next president.
And this is very important because the special election happens right when the game enters the Hitler zone.
So it is incredibly important that they pick a good president.
Because if they pick a fascist, that fascist may very well just pick Hitler for their chancellor and get them elected.
Or, that fascist will try to pick a liberal that they think everyone trusts, because if they play the fourth red card, that fascist gets to shoot somebody, and that fascist is going to be very happy to kill a liberal.
So, when you get the special election, and you're a liberal, you've got to be very cautious, you've got to try to figure out who the best possible president can be, and pick them, and try to have them carry the rest of the game.
And if you're a fascist, you're trying to finagle it where either you pick a liberal who you think is very likely to elect Hitler as your chancellor, or you pick the other fascist or Hitler themselves to be your president, and then try to get them to get the gun and shoot somebody.
So, a lot of intrigue, a lot of drama, a lot of discussion, a lot of manipulation in that spot.
It's a pressure point in the game.
It's very fraught with tension and peril and lots of discussion.
And that's what I love about this game.
It requires a lot of thinking and a lot of just making solid reads.
And if you are a fascist, you gotta tell a convincing story.
You gotta find a way to lie and perpetuate the lie for as long as possible so that you can trick the other side into letting you win the game.
And the last, absolute last game mechanic, which comes up like almost never, is what's known as the Vito.
Which is at the absolute end of the game, if the fascists are one red card away from winning, which again is a very rare situation to happen, the president and the chancellor can elect to not play the card that the chancellor has to play.
And this generally means exclusively that if the president and the chancellor are both liberals, And the president draws three red cards.
The president will then hand the chancellor two red cards.
And then the chancellor will say, I do not want to play that card.
They will vote ya for the right to enforce a veto.
And then the president will sign off on the veto.
And then that card will not get played.
And the government will effectively fail.
And the failed government marker will move up a tick.
But they'll save the game.
And now what almost always happens in this spot is that one of those two people is a fascist.
And when one person says, I wish to veto this government and not play the sixth red card, the other person will say, you know what?
You're playing that sixth red card.
Game over.
Fascists win.
High fives, Team Fascists.
But that's all the mechanics of the game.
And it's a very... It probably sounds a little more confusing than it really is.
Once you play the game, you actually see the mechanics.
It's very intuitive.
It's very simple.
And it's just... Decision making reads a little bit of luck based on the deck and the draw.
And it's a ton of fun.
It's a really fun way to have a very light-hearted argument with a bunch of people and accuse them of being terrible monsters.
It's QAnon, only you don't really mean it when you call the person sitting next to you a baby-eating Satanist.
It's only because they're part of the baby-eating Satanist group.
I mean, we could call this game Secret Hillary, and the regular fascists would just be regular Moloch worshippers.
And Hitler and Hillary would be the whore of Babylon, who is our evil leader, as it were.
As a matter of fact, the makers of Secret Hitler actually made an alternative expansion pack called Secret Trump, where Trump is the big bad guy.
And Steve Bannon, Stephen Miller, Sean Spicer, and I forget who the fourth member of Trump's constantly rotating cabinet was in the game, But they also had a secret Pence, just in case Trump left office before his term was up, so that you could replace Trump with Pence as the big bad that you had to be fighting against.
So that is the Secret Hitler slash election QAnon podcast, as it were.
Again, I'm going to be begging people all day today to join us for a fantabulous game or two of Secret Hitler, and I will catch you all later.
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